Why should you feel the need to tell the world about what sexual preference you are. It's like people who talk about their mental illness and don't do anything to try to change it. Some people actually use sickly people for a welfare check out my channel to see an example.
Yenta: usually associated with older grandma-like figures (deff. female) from a jewish background. They do like to talk, good or bad, kinda like a matchmaker, but just wants to know what's happening in the community all the time..... not sure if using it in this context works....
Crazy! When I was around 16 my friend who knew outed me to a bunch of people I didn't even care about and I felt really bad, I can't imagine being outed all of a sudden to my family like that.
Jess, good luck at school with your teacher! I wish I had some feminist teachers, but mostly I only go to colege to hear sexist claims. :P
In the age of Yiddish theater, it started referring to a busybody or gossipmonger. :) so i doubt you offended anyone, unless they are a gossipmongerer, in which case they probably deserve to be offended x
Try getting caught in a bathtub with your best friend by your older brother. Then your older brother spreading the word through your elementary school so that your friendship with your friend broke apart and you got bullied and harassed straight through from Elementary to High School....no bitterness there, oh no.
i wish gossiping assholes would all watch this video. it's not cool to spread the word or to pry. if someone trusted you enough to tell you, then you shouldn't let him/her down by telling other people about it.
There might be more to this story than we know, but even if there isn't, it was probably for the best. Almost never does 'waiting for the right moment' work.
@alaskafido actually, that was the whole story. Why would it still bother me after all those years if there were more to the story and I could actually figure out a way that it was justifiable? Also, waiting for the right moment wasn't the issue. Do you know how hurt a mother feels when she has to get information about her own child via a third person? It would have been better if I had been able to do it. Also, what if I'd never planned on telling my grandparents? Think before you speak.
OK, OK, I was simply trying to find some positive here. What I don't find as positive is telling me to think before I speak. Note that I DID say 'almost never'. Besides, there are those times where it's better to speak before you think. Granted, very occasionally, it's better to let secrets fester.
Oh gosh, if you were trying to be kind and empathetic, I'm very sorry I misinterpreted what you said. It is important, however, to remember that when someone has suffered a great deal (even if they've since then mostly healed), announcing that it was probably for the best doesn't come off as kind and empathetic. That was why I suggested thinking before speaking. For example: "The person who was hurt here and wrote in is likely reading the comments. I wonder if my judgement will be insulting."
This is my expience totally. I recently told an uncle a few months ago thinking that I would just have somone to talk to. But he went and told my dad, ( who I'm not even close to at the moment) who then in turn told my mom. Which caused a whole bunch of problems in and of its' self. So yeah, I can definitely relate to that situation and I know that it can be hell.
i was outted in middle school by a close friend, it was not fair, it was not respectful, but i don't regret it, it made me stronger and able to stand up for what i am, and what i'm proud of
by the way, i just found the channel a few days ago and i've noticed that even though you present yourselves as an LGBTQ group you have no gay guys
Omg, my aunt did the same thing to me, ON MY BIRTHDAY. It was hell. I don't understand why people believe they have the right to take it upon themselves to out someone.
This video comes two days after I found out that two years ago, my at the time best friend had outed me to the entire school. It just goes to show that you have to be extremely careful who you confide in in the early stages of coming out.
when i was first trying to figure all my shit out, i turned to one of my friends who is also a lesbian and i asked her not to tell anyone. 2 years later when i came out to the rest of my friends they all said they knew because that friend who i first told took it upon herself to tell all of them....i still feel betrayed.
if only my dad saw this video before he outed me to my mum when I asked him to wait.
Not cool. Nevertheless, I am out to my family now. I would've come out to my mum a month after I told my dad, it would've just been nice if I had been the one to tell my mum.
Great vid, Jess. Hopefully this video will make a difference out there :)
same thing happened to me. i told my dad, and asked him not to tell my mom. he told me he couldnt lie to her, i said i understood. he gave me 5 days to tell her. that night he told her, and she kicked me out. fun stuff.
I can't imagine how much it would hurt my family if some other relative outed me to them before I had the nerve to, let alone how betrayed I would feel. I definitely agree. He was probably trying to make the process easier. He probably thought he helped.
So far, everyone I've told has already figured it out independently; apparently it is obvious to most. But none of them heard it from others, and all of them understand that outing someone else is totally inappropriate, for which I am thankful.
i never needed advise, but I did feel the need to know bout everyone else's issues because knowing and solving them always seem far easier than knowing and solving your own... i suppose thats how I got through that sort of thing, I projected. it worked well.
I agree with you Jess. It is really not "ok" to out people. Saddly, it seems, that a lot of "outting" is done by accident, and/or by other gay persons who are just excited to have another friend/family member who is gay/bi/trans/other.
Yeah, my sister outed me to our Mom and didn't tell me so I went through the whole agonizing thing anyway and she totally already knew haha. Good times. Also Jess, I kind of need that hat. Like, when I saw it in the other video I was like hat alert! And now it's here again and just please give it to me haha. I require it.
I think if she's still feeling this weight on her shoulders she should should definitely talk to her parents first if she hasn't already. I think she should confront her cousin as well and let him know how she felt about what happened, like Jess said though, try to avoid the attacking.
this is gonna sound really wierd but i'm reading this book called the Bean Trees. There is this three year old Cherokee Indian baby named Turtle. The baby reminds me of you because it just sits and takes everything in. Turns out the baby's really smart. The only words it says are vegetables.
I've only met you once but you were so small maybe that's why the little wise Turtle reminds me of you!?
I ot outted to most of my friends. I was only out to 6 of them and one of them told somone who didn't know. Next thing I know, on my brithday I have friends coming up to me in school asking me who my gf is and bombarding me with questions about it.
It brought a downer to my b-day and I still don't know who outted me
I totally agree about outing someone...and i think that if someone is coming to talk to you about something like that that must mean they have some sort of trust in you. Oh yah!! who's Longboard in the back is that???? :)
I find that very dangerous advice. If the person hasn't shown any insight to guarding your confidence why let them in further by providing more personal information.I'd say stay from that individual and let it go.
yeah I caught the cousin part- I still say he's a hot potato and hands off, also talking with another person over what's caught in a loop in your head doesn't guarantee the loop will stop. I think you have more faith in ppl or greater optimism in ppl than I do in this regard.
I get what you're saying, but I also feel like you didn't watch my entire video. I didn't say it would "stop the loop". My advice was that because she has been holding onto it for so long, instead of continuing to wonder, perhaps attempting to spark a conversation will at least get the ball rolling in a direction where she can attempt to move on.
Well I did watch all of your vid.Why do you think she has to involve him in the process if it's her who has to move on? That's where I'm caught. If it's her issue over hurt or sadness with his actions. Why put her out there for further distress. Is it to teach him of her reaction?Do you think it might draw them closer for her honesty?
I do appreciate how passionate you feel about this topic. My criticism is that maybe you shouldn't be talking to me about it at this point. I was taking as much of an objective point of view as I could - please feel free to contact the person who wrote in (burntflybog) if you feel you have something valid to add. Remember, these are my opinions and I state that without fail - instead of continuing to argue with me, let's keep this an open forum where the viewers can learn from each other.
Great video. And you longboard, yeey!
jarzynaable 2 years ago
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technicolor444 2 years ago
This has been flagged as spam show
Why should you feel the need to tell the world about what sexual preference you are. It's like people who talk about their mental illness and don't do anything to try to change it. Some people actually use sickly people for a welfare check out my channel to see an example.
ExcusesForUs 2 years ago
Yenta: usually associated with older grandma-like figures (deff. female) from a jewish background. They do like to talk, good or bad, kinda like a matchmaker, but just wants to know what's happening in the community all the time..... not sure if using it in this context works....
cogitational 2 years ago
Crazy! When I was around 16 my friend who knew outed me to a bunch of people I didn't even care about and I felt really bad, I can't imagine being outed all of a sudden to my family like that.
Jess, good luck at school with your teacher! I wish I had some feminist teachers, but mostly I only go to colege to hear sexist claims. :P
overainbows 2 years ago
In the age of Yiddish theater, it started referring to a busybody or gossipmonger. :) so i doubt you offended anyone, unless they are a gossipmongerer, in which case they probably deserve to be offended x
DeathcabforRosiee 2 years ago
Don't spill anybody's tea!
EMERSON1289 2 years ago
i wouldn't "out" a family member, unless they are being hippocritical! If they are gay bashing me for being out, then game on!
funkydrugs 2 years ago
That was not cool that her cousin decided to out her. He definitely should know better than to do that.
marisolvelazquez218 2 years ago
Try getting caught in a bathtub with your best friend by your older brother. Then your older brother spreading the word through your elementary school so that your friendship with your friend broke apart and you got bullied and harassed straight through from Elementary to High School....no bitterness there, oh no.
dookerbaby 2 years ago
i hate when other people think they're helping you by outting someone.
iklubeen 2 years ago 2
i wish gossiping assholes would all watch this video. it's not cool to spread the word or to pry. if someone trusted you enough to tell you, then you shouldn't let him/her down by telling other people about it.
cornstarch27 2 years ago 6
There might be more to this story than we know, but even if there isn't, it was probably for the best. Almost never does 'waiting for the right moment' work.
alaskafido 2 years ago
@alaskafido actually, that was the whole story. Why would it still bother me after all those years if there were more to the story and I could actually figure out a way that it was justifiable? Also, waiting for the right moment wasn't the issue. Do you know how hurt a mother feels when she has to get information about her own child via a third person? It would have been better if I had been able to do it. Also, what if I'd never planned on telling my grandparents? Think before you speak.
burntflybog 2 years ago
OK, OK, I was simply trying to find some positive here. What I don't find as positive is telling me to think before I speak. Note that I DID say 'almost never'. Besides, there are those times where it's better to speak before you think. Granted, very occasionally, it's better to let secrets fester.
alaskafido 2 years ago
Oh gosh, if you were trying to be kind and empathetic, I'm very sorry I misinterpreted what you said. It is important, however, to remember that when someone has suffered a great deal (even if they've since then mostly healed), announcing that it was probably for the best doesn't come off as kind and empathetic. That was why I suggested thinking before speaking. For example: "The person who was hurt here and wrote in is likely reading the comments. I wonder if my judgement will be insulting."
burntflybog 2 years ago
This is my expience totally. I recently told an uncle a few months ago thinking that I would just have somone to talk to. But he went and told my dad, ( who I'm not even close to at the moment) who then in turn told my mom. Which caused a whole bunch of problems in and of its' self. So yeah, I can definitely relate to that situation and I know that it can be hell.
cannibalqueen89 2 years ago
1st day of skwl yay ur 5 again! hehe i started a course to and myt change it so hard argh
yoyodindin 2 years ago
i was outted in middle school by a close friend, it was not fair, it was not respectful, but i don't regret it, it made me stronger and able to stand up for what i am, and what i'm proud of
by the way, i just found the channel a few days ago and i've noticed that even though you present yourselves as an LGBTQ group you have no gay guys
it would be nice to have a day for us :D
josdancedance 2 years ago
Thanks for watching us, josdancedance... you can find the gay boys on their channel by searching: fiveawesomegays
cautiousplay 2 years ago
thanks :D
josdancedance 2 years ago
Omg, my aunt did the same thing to me, ON MY BIRTHDAY. It was hell. I don't understand why people believe they have the right to take it upon themselves to out someone.
MrsLeishaHailey 2 years ago 2
when my mum found out she said wait about telling your dad. i'm 25 am i still haven't told him. he knows anyway
jigglypuffgirl 2 years ago
i agree :)
some issues are just sensitive subjects and SHOULDNT be outed out..
sarahhification 2 years ago
What soc classes are you taking? 101 or different aspects
buckiemohawk 2 years ago
Yenta is also a bit of a misogynist term... a little odd that you apply it to a man; fair, though.
mitchumsport 2 years ago
You could just laugh about it...
cautiousplay 2 years ago 5
what about a politician who's hypocritical in their support of conservative anti-gay legislation because of their own sexuality... ?
there's at least some ethical debate about whether or not you can out someone
mitchumsport 2 years ago
YOU ARE FRICCEN CUTE.
jessiono 2 years ago 2
Outed to half the family by my mom, against my wishes. Amen, Jess!
EniesLobby 2 years ago
I'd be pissed
ClubSkirtsDinahShore 2 years ago
my buddha....you. are. adorable.
ClubSkirtsDinahShore 2 years ago 2
Really great channel! Thanks to all of you for making it! Sure is helping me alot :)
rockette27 2 years ago
I am sure you will do great in your classes!
ThePhotoRealist 2 years ago
This video comes two days after I found out that two years ago, my at the time best friend had outed me to the entire school. It just goes to show that you have to be extremely careful who you confide in in the early stages of coming out.
AnnasuiDolly 2 years ago
i totally agree with everything you said.
when i was first trying to figure all my shit out, i turned to one of my friends who is also a lesbian and i asked her not to tell anyone. 2 years later when i came out to the rest of my friends they all said they knew because that friend who i first told took it upon herself to tell all of them....i still feel betrayed.
bornadisaster911 2 years ago
if only my dad saw this video before he outed me to my mum when I asked him to wait.
Not cool. Nevertheless, I am out to my family now. I would've come out to my mum a month after I told my dad, it would've just been nice if I had been the one to tell my mum.
Great vid, Jess. Hopefully this video will make a difference out there :)
TripnSlide 2 years ago 2
same thing happened to me. i told my dad, and asked him not to tell my mom. he told me he couldnt lie to her, i said i understood. he gave me 5 days to tell her. that night he told her, and she kicked me out. fun stuff.
CSULB15 2 years ago
I can't imagine how much it would hurt my family if some other relative outed me to them before I had the nerve to, let alone how betrayed I would feel. I definitely agree. He was probably trying to make the process easier. He probably thought he helped.
So far, everyone I've told has already figured it out independently; apparently it is obvious to most. But none of them heard it from others, and all of them understand that outing someone else is totally inappropriate, for which I am thankful.
ANewDawnANewDay 2 years ago
I love this topic, it has come at the perfect time as I got outted by a close friend recently...
MissPussyKatz 2 years ago
i never needed advise, but I did feel the need to know bout everyone else's issues because knowing and solving them always seem far easier than knowing and solving your own... i suppose thats how I got through that sort of thing, I projected. it worked well.
sobeit42 2 years ago
yenta can pretty much be used for gossipy, but not so much brat...at least not in my family. ps - you are awesome!
photoaperture 2 years ago
I agree with you Jess. It is really not "ok" to out people. Saddly, it seems, that a lot of "outting" is done by accident, and/or by other gay persons who are just excited to have another friend/family member who is gay/bi/trans/other.
<3 Beaver Bunch
Zendrea 2 years ago
Yeah, my sister outed me to our Mom and didn't tell me so I went through the whole agonizing thing anyway and she totally already knew haha. Good times. Also Jess, I kind of need that hat. Like, when I saw it in the other video I was like hat alert! And now it's here again and just please give it to me haha. I require it.
gijohazelwoods 2 years ago
You'd look ridiculous in that hat.
youngwithoutyouth 2 years ago
Oh no she di'in't! Bitch.
(come back to bed).
gijohazelwoods 2 years ago
i have the same hat as you!
fmlXskater22 2 years ago
where's mary? we need more mary! :D
ALIROX931 2 years ago 3
congrats on school
bphoru 2 years ago
5 stars for NO outing! Everyone has the right to choose when and where to out themselves...
lizrem 2 years ago
jess could you please help me out. I see all your guys video's and you guyz seem great. Can you give me some advice please. It'd mean alot! <=)
Dlilangel7 2 years ago
I think if she's still feeling this weight on her shoulders she should should definitely talk to her parents first if she hasn't already. I think she should confront her cousin as well and let him know how she felt about what happened, like Jess said though, try to avoid the attacking.
Jessthibs88 2 years ago
w00t sociology FTW.. im a soci major (dur)
crazylily16 2 years ago
you were quick to get this up.. i usually get your video on Tuesday.. I was quite surprised (in a good way)
:)
--I have people my age who i go to. I introduced those same people to you guys
AmandaWiddifield 2 years ago
you're a mentor to lots of people!
gonna steal that toboggan.
not really.
this is gonna sound really wierd but i'm reading this book called the Bean Trees. There is this three year old Cherokee Indian baby named Turtle. The baby reminds me of you because it just sits and takes everything in. Turns out the baby's really smart. The only words it says are vegetables.
I've only met you once but you were so small maybe that's why the little wise Turtle reminds me of you!?
-Gaby D.
wayfarer628 2 years ago
I cant believe that Tom Cruise hasnt come out of the closet yet!
He was married to Mimi Rogers, If I had a wife that hot even to this day, I would never divorce!
bernhardtsen74 2 years ago
I ot outted to most of my friends. I was only out to 6 of them and one of them told somone who didn't know. Next thing I know, on my brithday I have friends coming up to me in school asking me who my gf is and bombarding me with questions about it.
It brought a downer to my b-day and I still don't know who outted me
emosXrXtheXbest 2 years ago
I totally agree about outing someone...and i think that if someone is coming to talk to you about something like that that must mean they have some sort of trust in you. Oh yah!! who's Longboard in the back is that???? :)
SamanthaTaylor94 2 years ago
I find that very dangerous advice. If the person hasn't shown any insight to guarding your confidence why let them in further by providing more personal information.I'd say stay from that individual and let it go.
yogangel7 2 years ago
He's not an "individual" - he's her cousin, hence why my advice was to speak with him.
cautiousplay 2 years ago 2
yeah I caught the cousin part- I still say he's a hot potato and hands off, also talking with another person over what's caught in a loop in your head doesn't guarantee the loop will stop. I think you have more faith in ppl or greater optimism in ppl than I do in this regard.
yogangel7 2 years ago
I get what you're saying, but I also feel like you didn't watch my entire video. I didn't say it would "stop the loop". My advice was that because she has been holding onto it for so long, instead of continuing to wonder, perhaps attempting to spark a conversation will at least get the ball rolling in a direction where she can attempt to move on.
cautiousplay 2 years ago 2
Well I did watch all of your vid.Why do you think she has to involve him in the process if it's her who has to move on? That's where I'm caught. If it's her issue over hurt or sadness with his actions. Why put her out there for further distress. Is it to teach him of her reaction?Do you think it might draw them closer for her honesty?
kanohioflegend 2 years ago
sorry my son was logged on so this is my response not his (yogangel7 not kanohioflegend)
yogangel7 2 years ago
I do appreciate how passionate you feel about this topic. My criticism is that maybe you shouldn't be talking to me about it at this point. I was taking as much of an objective point of view as I could - please feel free to contact the person who wrote in (burntflybog) if you feel you have something valid to add. Remember, these are my opinions and I state that without fail - instead of continuing to argue with me, let's keep this an open forum where the viewers can learn from each other.
cautiousplay 2 years ago
Comment removed
cautiousplay 2 years ago
i love you jess!
<3, another jess :)
voulezvous88 2 years ago
Yay, I love that you upload vids early, Jess. (:
Prolui 2 years ago
2nd comment woot!
thevirginqueen1 2 years ago
first comment.:)
<3 you guys.
wegotswaggerx3 2 years ago