Nation's Girlfriends Unveil New Economic Plan: 'Let's Move In Together'

[arteconsolation78]

Hire better actors

[arteconsolation78]

So funny.hahahahalol.

[bradyculous]

Financial Fallout Shelter = For Fuck's Sake. Coincidence? I think not.

[Darnbath]

Oh shiiiit

Oh w8 I live in Sweden

[AlexanderMazarakis]

@Darnbath I envy you. -_-

[ZenSeizure]

...I'm Chad :(

[Daimionidas]

lol funny thing they missed: more money spent=better for the economy. the nation's boyfriends should come together and say that by staying apart, their (lousy) gf's will have to buy their own shit.

[kendrat199]

This is so realistic and clever that it's brilliant, thank you!

[bomerman104]

i thought the onion was supposed to be fake

[DigitizedSelf]

Go make me some sammiches

[davitodude]

Chad's my bro.

[colmonhs]

Its at 2:53 *shivers*

[oqendro]

i LOLed when they both said "fine"

[MontajBlaze]

Oh,I thought this was gonna be about Girlfriend's saying the US should move in with Israel or something, though this is just about as funny, XD.

[StuUngar]

"Chivalry is dead, and women killed it." -D. Chappelle

[TheYouwontgetit]

fucking bitches...

[TheAikaInfinity]

I laughed at the people arguing in the comments about politics and such. It's a funny video. Laugh and move on.

[Icix1]

lol its awesome because I've heard these very same lines from so many girls

onion win

[mozaks80]

Wow it's like verbal birth control from those girls.

[hawkinn39]

Wait, If you move in with your girlfriend where do you fuck all the random strange you pick up in bars and off the internet? I'm not paying for a hotel room every time.

[FoziaAbdi]

@HappyEmos223 She's a jew??? Free palestine!

[RomneyGack]

Fellas, respect yourself! Believe me- the fillies may "put out" now but afer the poor schmuck is snagged into marriage she'll shut off the tap. PS If you're not wanting to get married after, say, six months of being w/ someone you need to walk away.

[MexicanBearFighter]

pfff-hahahahaha!!! 

[mrdaym]

We never did spend any of the money we saved on sports things.

[raynelycan]

Two "Fines." Jake ain't gettin' none tonight.

[Vostokification]

@raynelycan Not from his gf. He could still get some.

[ahyhijooooo]

@Vostokification agreed

[planetofthegapes]

@Vostokification Oh no, he ain't gettin' any for a looooong time

[EltonvonCthulhu]

Anyone else think Jake looked kinda like Tobey Maguire?

[MrSleepylk]

lmfao killer retirement plan

[myquill23]

..and this is why I am single.. :-)

[Badtreewater]

I'm at a total loss for words. I absolutely love this.

It's Almost real.

[thekid81287]

If u date for 3 years u shld move in together

[WatchmenDrManhattan]

Crazy Bitches are Crazy Bitches

[DaveElectric]

Tis video isn't about feminism. It's pointing out the slippery slope that is inherent in politics. We should be careful what discussions we initiate. Some topics should never be touched.

[EvilsOfFeminism]

This classically illustrates that feminists are the exact reason that most men are not keen on pasting a giant bullseye on their ass for divorce courts and any other myriad of legal problems for which men have virtually no recourse. I mean, this basically shows how feminist morons argue: shout you down and maintain a monopoly of opinion. Definitely a great reason to stay away from American girls...

[YksiSuomalainen]

Hahahahaaa ! This was so realistic it almost wasn't even funny :D !

[LeeHitlerSaddamLaden]

fucking cunt sluts always bitching and cunting about. God damn women are faggots who belong in the kitchen. Stupid fag sluts.

[xtranc3x]

lmao sounds like my friends GF

[lovelee182]

as a woman,i find this insanely hilarious! but thats b/c i'm not one of the ladies.we arent all commitment obsessed & belittling to our men.

[EmilyDNelson]

@lovelee182 I know, my jaw is dropping and I'm just thinking "Men, run!!!!" Especially handsome Jacob; you can totally have your own apartment with me, baby.

[TheLogicJunkie]

This is adorable. *L*

[solarisqs]

I hate how this just makes it seem like girls think one thing and boys think it's another when in experience I've always found it to be the other way round, but definitely not two definite sides.

[SanktumFi]

yea, don't fucking come to vermont anymore

[thecapone45]

Omg,,, At 2:30... That is the EXACT reason why a guy says he is not ready for commitment,,, Jesus christ! Girls these days bitch too dam much.

[corndawg15]

DUUUUDE I JUST GOT THE HUGEST HEADACHE LISTENING TO HER

[hastyvictories]

This made me cringe inside

[joser2324]

"hi honey" lol

[sduking]

national debt... saving on rents ?? what ? makes no sense.

[adgato75]

@HappyEmos223 are you8 serious? she is so hot

[shoobedoorocketship]

uh uh, PUT A RING ON IT! not move in.

[illincrux]

And this is why I'm seriously considering getting a mail-order bride from Russia or the Philippines. American women are way too corrupted by reality shows, Sex in the City and all of their fucked up girly girl magazines....

[keybladelordus]

@illincrux are you... are you trolling or just stupid? women arent objects you can just order dude, im pretty sure thats more messed up than some reality show obsessed women

[illincrux]

@keybladelordus lol, no i'm not serious...but your misconception about mail-order brides is laughable in that they are not treated as objects...it's a mutual agreement between adults to give one (the bride) a better life in exchange for unconditional love and a family oriented marriage. Which is severely lacking in the US these days.

[elenchus]

@illincrux my law school roommate told me last semester that at one point he had begun the process to get a Russian bride (and he clarified 20 times that he was serious).  But he decided to get a Lexus instead. I think it was a good call.

[tanyamuriyan]

No way out man Asian women lushfmlk.info

[Jamshaidzubairee]

hahahaah one of the best by the Onion...

[GrizNews]

lmao i love it. so true. i got 99 problems and they all bitches.

[nalgaface123456789]

suck my cack

[nalgaface123456789]

fucking sluts

[jasonjamaican]

•get hair cut instead of going to hair dresser• buy reuseable stocking • buy cheaper make up • you get the picture right lol

[Vyckeris12]

American guys, You will be in my prayers.

[looxgood]

@Vyckeris12 Yes...pray for us...

[tavogul]

@Vyckeris12 thank you... we need all the help we can get...

[xxljessellxx]

I prefer the "Rent is too damn high" party's solution to this problem.

[Hardryv]

I love it that people are crying out that this is fake... satire of this quality is hard to find. Colbert does a good job, but the ONN is top shelf.

[vjm3]

Ugh.

I mean there's nothing else to really say...

Ugh...

[Stormthunderrain]

Host is so sexy.

[Natedawg422]

Ha! My roommate is going through the same issue. Except its he thats trying to move in with her. And they both live in the same apartment. I give their relationship another month before they break up.

[V3N0M1300]

bitches just want cohabitation alimony after they get caught cheating

[RainbowDefender]

So what was the national landlord associations rebuttal, we want more money and we want it now? Or did they try to say it was ungodly for a man and woman to live together without being married, while they protested gay marriage as ungodly so more single people would have to pay rent?

[Xmaggot93X]

fuck The Roommate.

[tomkkkkk]

This shits why im single... majority females are like this. Immature bitches who think us boys are dumb and try to mother us with morals and control. FUCK OFF AND BE MY BEST MATE GIRLY N ILL LOVE YA FOR IT

[slublu]

@tomkkkkk yea..I'm sure that's why you're single

[zozawalkthroughs]

@tomkkkkk u realize this is a joke rightXD

[TheXiaonFreak]

@tomkkkkk

faaaake.

[computerjero]

After 2 minutes I phased back in and was as lost as I am normally on real news...

[HiMyNameIsRoxi]

"CAN WE JUST TALK ABOUT THIS ANOTHER TIME?"

[Unknownboi88]

i would hate living with my boyfriend... i need my space dam it

[WestonVonWellington]

bitches gonna bitch

[taiga2011]

LOL! "what about when John moved in with Terra, and then she dumped him, and he

had to find a new roomate at craigslist?"

[kecks69cam]

One of lifes little mysteries LOL

[keytop1933]

they have the same slogan as the Texas Rangers. haha

[justdfactsmaam]

...fun Halloween named drinks!

[guitarmatt94]

hahhaaha people are so stupid these days, to not even realize the onion is fake

[syckboy]

I love reading comments from people that don't even realize this is "The Onion".... HAHAHAHAHAHA

[DaSquirellMan]

Holy shit my name is chad and all i play is video games

[AandRlifetimeregrets]

is this shiit real!!???

[eatthedead11]

@AandRlifetimeregrets yes

[NARFNra]

@AandRlifetimeregrets

No. The Onion is never real.

[godfree2canada]

142 FoxNews viewers could not understand the video

[guitarmatt94]

@godfree2canada exactly

[LightningWolfang]

lol XD! amazing

[CyanoticFuture]

Dont women realize they are replacablebuy 1. A hooker 2. a 10$ lapdance or 3. a bottle of lotion and a free hand?

[bcouce]

@CyanoticFuture what, male hookers and lapdancers?

[killerchipmunkattack]

@CyanoticFuture so r u saying men only want girls for sex? lol u sure makes urself sound stupid

[CyanoticFuture]

@killerchipmunkattack And youre saying the majority of women nowadays have anything else to offer or a higher skill level other than opening their legs...?Whose the stupid one now?

[killerchipmunkattack]

@CyanoticFuture Women nowadays go to school n r just as educated as man are. Plus man loves and treasures women cos we're loving compassionate angels. So women aren't easily replaced by anything else.

YOU is the stupid one ^^

[Snowboarding182]

@killerchipmunkattack Actually I thinks its that Men love danger and toys, thus woman, the most dangerous plaything, and men don't like over sweet fruits, thus he likes woman, bitter, even, is the sweetest woman

[vengance89]

this is insanity

[OldSchoolSkill]

Hey! THAT'S My Ex!

man I miss her...

[nevroth]

hahah, I'd need a ring and a date before I even thought about having a boyfriend live with me - and NO! I will not get rid of the cat!! LMAO! XD

[LegendarySock]

Hahaha, I love the Onion.

[glaked23]

I like the boyfriends plan at 1:20 alot more

[chipmunx]

Dude, if I found a briefcase full of money I'd be set.

[djtrixen]

"Hi honey..." Oh ѕhіt! IT'S ON!!!! lol

[FuckinHateNewUtube]

Who would want to move in with a guy that has a roommate like "Chad"? I know guys like that, you don't wanna live with them. Nuh uh.

I say girls should move in together.

[Micheal25922]

online dating brides *lushfmlk.info*

[sewagedweller]

WOW a cheap and efficient substitute to a girlfriend .

[rustyscrapper]

I find that not having a GF and buying prostitutes is the least stress and cheapest alternative.

[rustyscrapper]

especially since 90% of women are ugly and out of shape dont exercise or care about themselves at all. Buying sex is about the only way to get attractive women to have sex with you so just pay up front and its a sure thing with zero time wasting.

[Del249]

@rustyscrapper yeah, compared to a whore a regular girlfriend costs as much or more in the long run and keeping her is time consuming on top of that

[jessicakaylai]

Asian wives alone and try to chat her  #lushfmlk.info#

[rawelch69]

"Yes Terra is my friend but you know how she is" haha fucking whore...dated and lived with a "Terra" before. I love the Onion News network...so fake but so true. DON'T MOVE IN WITH YOUR GF GUYS. Trust me, its a bad idea. Been there, done that.

[radscorpion8]

@rawelch69 well...always have a back up plan :)

[RobertBenningtonWier]

this is brilliant material. It just shows what bullshit our media is. Its all fake, its like plastic veneer that looks like polished maple. It can be covering up a rotton foundation, but how would you know unless you start digging?

[izzy63]

@RobertBenningtonWier ... I'm, uh... pretty sure that's not what this video is about. At all. Not even a little. Nice extended metaphor, though. It really adds a perplexing level of credence to your still-ridiculous thought process.

[JohnnyHorton]

this is the best!!!!

[crazedmongoose2003]

ooohhhh Jake ain't getting any for a while

[interestingperson121]

"FINE!"

[sowetoninja]

"Jake, if there's some reason you are opposed to this plan, you can say so and nobody will get mad"

NEVER fall for that trick again....

[91pup]

i wanna just tell the who army of bitches to just shut up and quit trying to get our nuts in a twist.

[beholdfateknocks]

"ok" "fine" "fine then"- hysterical

[JohnSelma]

Mother Nature (or whomever your faith tells you it was) has played a cruel joke on the human race. Biologically we do best at having children at age 20-30, but we are not mature enough to get together and share a household until we are age 30-40 (particularly us guys). The serious side of this video, is that that is what it is about.

[alulu8]

AAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGHHHHH­HHH The Onion is SO NEGATIVE when it comes to femininity and women! I'm so fucking over it!! They are hilariously progressive and skew prejudices in every other realm but their stupid, dated and ridiculous caricatures of women. It's always a negative view of women, when it comes to gender interaction. There is always the presumption the guy's viewpoint is reasonable. Women are dumb, blah, blah, blah. ALWAYS! SO FUCKING WRONG!

[redeemer1kamili]

@alulu8 They made the guy look like a selfish dork, and the woman kind of crazy. No one walked out unscathed : )

Plus all the arguments were stereotyped, on both sides. Look at the First Female Dictator Onion video : )

[alulu8]

@redeemer1kamili True, true. It's just it's ALWAYS the same lame stereotypes. It gets old.

[netcompany3]

@alulu8 lol they arent trying to offend you so just shut up and dont watch it

[alulu8]

@netcompany3 Great job on proving the point as to who the demographic for this video is. Your manners are impeccable. Allow me to take your line of thinking: Netcompany3, don't be a fascist. Differing opinions are American, man. You want it all to be your way? Move to Venezuela and stage a coup. Way to be a fascist man - it's all gotta be your way huh? lolzees

[superbacon321]

@alulu8 in the wild of the internet we find a curious specimen known as the whiney bitch that thinks their opinions actually matters stfu

[mcapps1]

@alulu8 shut up and make me a sandwich

[rebelsouljaz]

lol what a coincidence, i got the all state "im a teenage girl" commercial haha

[LightSweet]

I think its time for them to do a story on how stinky, sloppy boyfriends should all get kicked out, en masse, gtom their girlfriends' apartments!

[idk2say]

@LightSweet

whats in your ass?

[alulu8]

@LightSweet Solid gold. The economy could be 40% worse if the generation of video game playing shmucks were kicked out of their girlfriends' apartments. Plague! Birdflu! Increase in rat infestation! Hell no, the Onion would never skew a story in that direction because it's written by guys who take their insecurities to paper, and love to continue being sexist dipshits.

[netcompany3]

@alulu8 wow you know the onion is a joke right?

[CyanoticFuture]

@alulu8 OH SHUT the fuck UP and put your bra back on already you feminazi.While your at it,go clean something.

[BlackWatch187]

is this real? lol shit

[maffoid]

Oh crap I thought my retirement plan was genuine and smart -.-

[Chibikyon13]

LOL, the waffle maker is an incentive XD

[scottg4520]

I will NEVER go out with another American woman after visiting Europe. Damn American women are still acting like it is the 60's.

I could digress. But I am sure I am already labeled a jerk.

[greenguy415]

Lol, does this go on?

[Scantofladge]

I agree... I will completely go for this plan as long as there is plenty of guaranteed rough sex to go along with the deal

[dynozark]

god, I hate those kind of girls Lol

[grenadebiter]

The girl speaking before congress is excellent! Very well done!

[cedricmichael]

I see nothing wrong with this plan as long as she blows him twice a day until death do them part

[x420matrix]

wow jake got double teamed, sucks for him

[CiaraLovesDamon]

Lmfao..wow...i think if my bf moved in with me we'd end up killing each other xD.

[woodside4life]

oh shit...

[Thepocalypse]

That's women.

[main9123]

get normal soap....lol

[soulpimps]

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[copstack]

@soulpimps Ads? What ads? Firefox + adblock plus ftw. I haven't seen an internet ad since 1982.