Added: 1 year ago
From: vanawesome
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  • send it get well cards o.o

  • We have one of those, my dad almost killed it >:(

  • Don't let that Love fern die. It happened to me once...now I can't get a date to save my life :'( sniff....although I didn't have a Love fern as I did have a Love Xbox 360. Once I got the Red Ring of Death...:( Sad face man...sad face.

  • OMG IT LOOKS LIKE MY FERN! but i call it a plam tree =]

  • I'm going to be the 1,000th person to say, maybe its a bamboo? No, okay.

  • buy a fake one that looks just like it... they never die.

  • what camera are you using?

  • As a parent of kids who love their goldfish..... you take the love fern out of the pot and put a new one in before the kids come home from school...... ya know?

  • Tell her that if it dies then your love will only be reborn from the fallen seeds.

  • How is your love fern going ? :)

  • just buy a new love fern, she'll never noticed the difference

  • Watch this video with the closed captions on. It doubles the hilarity because most of it makes no sense, even when you're speaking clearly xD

  • Oh dear. I think your fern, which is not actually a fern, is a gone-er. I hope your marriage survived!

  • Water that puppy.

  • use negative reinforcement. threaten to punch it in the face... with extreme prejudice!

  • negative reinforcement.  threaten to punch it in the face. with extreme prejudice!

  • Wow, you REALLY like to answer comments, don't you.

  • I remember this love fern like it was yesterday... took a good amount of 1's and 2's next to all day, everyday... no for serious. i used to call it the poop fern cause... ya know... i would poop near it

  • Stop feeding it toxic gases :)

  • Comment removed

  • PLANTS NEED LIGHT SUNLIGHT. 7TH GRADE SCIENCE CLASS.

  • @robertjohnson487 - you leaned this in 7th grade? they teach you that in pre-school . . .

  • @joc1486 You understood the words photoautotroph and photosynthesis in pre-school? We are fortunate to be in your presence.

  • I'd use green duct tape & tape it upright. Spray the green parts whats left with green paint. Let it dry. Give the whole thing a couple of coats of polyurethane. Or buy another similar plant & call it Love Fern. (even though I don't think that it is a fern).

  • The poor still packed panther is right, that is no fern. lol I'm pretty sure it's a Corn Plant. Which could explain why it is dying...it feels you don't understand it cause you are calling it a fern.... Yes, your plant is depressed. Unpack the Panther!

  • get a bigger pot. o.< and maybe some new epic soil to fit in the pot. or place the fern outside. :o or maybe it's sick. idk. ask a planter or something. .-.

  • Give the fern to my mother. She brought my rose bush back from the abyss. Now it weeps when I come near.

  • just put the love fern in a bigger pot. That might help or maybe bring it to a place that sells plants they can tell you what to do.

  • @sjefern - Probably because you used to be cool. Ohhhhh BURN. 

  • @vanawesome I think it is the other way around. ;) I had to scroll down to one of your early videoes, but I actually found out! It was this video that made me subscribe: watch?v=wCpzGKrCB7I

    You got to admit.. It is a long tome ago since you did something funnly like that?

  • @sjefern wooowmtake ur stupid hatred elsewhere

  • @NightnareViolinist Hatered? I was trying to be constructive.

  • @sjefern Well, your version of "constructive" is my version of "hatred" I suppose... I'm just replying from your first comment in which you wrote: 'I have forgotten why I subscribed to you'. I'm just saying... c'mon you could just be a little more... polite...

  • @NightnareViolinist Ok i guess I was a bit rude in the first comment. But I actually had forgotten why I subscribed to vanawsome. And the last videos he had not been as funny as they used to be. I used to like the videos he uploaded, but around a year ago I started to loose interest. I cried when Bonk Bonk Bonk Bonk died, but the videos lost its old spark as well i guess.

  • @sjefern - Aw come now. I still got it. Did you see my foil hat? GENIUS. And if you're real lucky, I just may conclude that saga before new years!

  • @vanawesome I want to replicate your hat and draw a fake beard on my face with marker... is that wierd to you??

  • @sjefern Thank you! The only point I was trying to make is just because you don't necessarily like his videos anymore (which I don't understand at all), you should be more polite. I'm glad that atleast you understand that you were rude unlike some OTHER jerks... but that's beside the point.

  • This has nothing to do with the love fern but I want to hide in your beard.

    Just putting it out there.

    Oh but Love ferns only die when they know you can provide all the love by yourselves. It knows it no longer needs to guide you guys (cue aww'ing)

  • @MutantPlushie Sorry I just have to do this... *goes into girly-mushy-sweetness mode* AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

  • Bring it to a planter to find out how ot save it

  • many youtubers make me smile, but you, you make laugh. And the jpeg-version of your wifey should be featured more often, she's hilarious!

  • That is not a fern.

    Just go buy a new plant.

  • R.I.P love.

  • woooooooooooooooow...i have NEVER heard u cuss!!!

  • "Fern" Needs:

    #1Sunlight

    #2Water

    #3Prolly some new soil+Miracle Grow+Bigger pot

    Plants don't live that long!!! Keep a replacement in line.

    (Sorry you're lonely. She'll be back soon :) Can't wait to see your new intro!!)

    Love you guys!

    

  • Well you might want to put it in some natural light, for starters.

  • Dude, ive been watching your videos from shortly after you started making them. You are seriously one of the few youtubers who i enjoy watching anymore. You and your beard are rulers of my interbone, no homo.

  • dude, take it to home depot or something like that, they hire plant ninjas just for people like us. Also, it looks a lot like the one at my house... which is also conveniently in a pot, you think she'd notice if it was suddenly two stories high when she got back?

  • HAHAHA you guys are too much fun... great vid vanawesome of your randomness lol. btw when are you going to unpack THE PANTHER?

  • Love fern's need love juice.

  • Miracle Gro

  • I did some research for you. From what I can tell it's a corn plant. Here's some more info...

    Common Name: Corn Plant, Fragrans

    Scientific Name: Dracaena Fragrans

    Lighting: Low Water: Slightly Dry

    Bugs: Spider Mite (rare)

    By the way, pointy or spiked plants can cause arguments if placed in a room where both people are together frequently.

    You're welcome. :)

  • Same thing happened to me! I did a lot of research about those plants. You may need to repot it--, but be warned! Sometimes these plants die due to a mold that could be detrimental to YOUR health. I got a lung infection that lasted for months because of this.

    It could be humidity level change, as well.

  • you might be overwatering it

  • Comment removed

  • you must show the fern the love you show to ur wife and it will multiply like rabbits in a garden....or u could just buy a new one and not tell ur wife.

  • First off that's a mini palm tree you big nut! Transplant that into a bigger pot-- one of those nice ceramic ones, dude-- and put it outdoors. Your strangling the roots. Chop of one -- ONE-- frond and add some Miracle-Gro. Not much. Add some dirt too.

    Outdoors... it's an outdoor plant.

  • did you try adding water?

  • Vanawesome you are awesome and cool and an inspiration to beards everywhere even. I digress, I know not much of plants, not exactly my forte, but people, I know people. From watching your previous videos and seeing the history between you too, no plant, man, or extremely mean spirited panther could tear the bond you guys have : )

  • DIE LOVE FERN!!! YOU WERE ALWAYS MEANT FOR FELECIA DAY!!!! ;p...kidding...I have no idea how to save your pitifully sick plant.

  • Hey Vanawesome, long time no see,...hmm..me thinks Tesa and you been very busy, being in love, married and the drudgery of WORK,...anyways great to see you're O.K.,...lol...you've got a beard and a moustachio,....all ya need is a helmet and a spear and you're a VIKING!!! LOL....just kiddin',...hmm..how to save the Love Fern,...maybe it needs some fertilizer, they sell fertilizer for potted plants that are indoors, maybe thats what it needs,...anyways great to hear from ya and say hi to Tesa! =)

  • HAHA, your Tessa voice sounds like Bubs from Homestar Runner.

  • It needs to be watered with distilled water

  • How do I get a girl to see my thisnthatnwhatnot?

    Re: the fern; Have you tried rebooting? It usually works for me when something doesn't work.

  • is it plugged in? that's usually the problem.

  • i dont know about the plant dude. soon it will be singing "feed me seymour"

  • get yourself down to a green house or "nursery" (not the children kind) and pick up some phosphoric acid. that should help. or ask the green house staff what they would recommend. but i think phosphoric acid would help.

  • In the next episode, Van's boss is coming over for dinner, and "Dammit Van, this better be one good dinner, or you're finished!"

  • Those ferns are pretty hardy, I had several of them in my apartment. My advice would be to water them a little more and get them a little light but no direct sunlight or they will burn. Good luck with Tessa. I met my fiancee because she liked my videos as well = )

    - Paul Seveng

  • I popped on the YT here, had the choice of watching this or the new Duncan Rocks and I chose this first. Fuck that fern, there's your love right there!!!

    PS: Make Tessa use her real voice from now on! I'm mad that I've never heard it until now and that she's been speaking in that gay little girly voice that she insists on using.

  • @JKsWatchables - Jason, firstly, thank you for choosing me over the DR. I can't say I would have done the same. 2ndly, thank you once again for proving you are the funniest youtube commenter of all time.  3rdly, we have a character in the works, and your wish just may come true, very very soon.

  • WATER IT !!! ( with water......) Take it out of the Bathroom......( someone's fumes are killing it) BTW , at 220 you look like that scene from There's something about marry. LOL.

  • Fuck the Fern, tell her it means nothing. It's the fact that you can't live with out her that means everthing. Nothing really matters except her.

    But i fail at love and life in general so feel free to ignore my advice.

  • @Elk4758 - your winning advice is hereby not ignored.

  • AHHH you need more subscribers!

  • @crulee - Agreed! But, also, kinda unagreed! I love replying to comments, and if I ever get, say, wheezy waiter big, I could never keep up!

  • save it by feeding it water and sun yup yup yup yup :[)

  • Sorry dude. I don't know anything about ferns. I'm so alone *sniff*

    ;)

  • @Sugartalker - aww. looks like somebody needs a love fern of his own. :( *hug*

  • I'm pretty sure the only way to save the "love fern" is to make love to it. So when Tessa returns, slowly and GENTLY insert the fern up her *****.

  • @thewinekone - You dirty dirty dirty man.  Dirty.

    DIRTY.

  • @OriginalTessaMessa - oh boy, maybe we should fertilize the LF with Tony's filthy dirty mind?

  • @OriginalTessaMessa What's so dirty about the heart? That's how love is made. UGH.

  • Just like a hamster: replace it with another before she finds out!

    ...Oh, snap, no, that means replacing love. >_> Uhm... Play it some music!

  • is that a palm tree?? o3o

  • @NikkoOfThePinkRose - nope :O

  • all right I saw this in a movie once, get a friend of yours, a fake handle bar mustache, and a really big coat, have your buddy sit on your shoulders. next have him put on the mustache and hat,(( oh yeah, you'll need a hat)), then go to your local cinema, and i mean really local, no national chains, because when your trying to save a fern you need to support small business, walk to the ticket counter and say "you'd like two tickets, to the r rated move" PROBLEM SOLVED! CALL ME THE FIXER

  • @numberoneonthestreet - hahhahahhahhahhhahhahhahhahhah­ha. I can't even come back with a witty reply to this, the perfect comment. Bravo * slow claps *

  • @numberoneonthestreet - I am impressed with this here comment. *STAMP'D O' APPROVAL*

  • Comment removed

  • water it with sprite

  • @itashiousboy - I may do this, just to see if it would explode as I imagine watering it with sprite would make it explode.

  • @vanawesome it doesnt explode its an old house wifes trick for budding stems from strees, if its strong enough to root a limb then it should help revitalize a dying plant, also trying changing out its soil and putting it into a bigger pott so the roots can spread, it looks like a pretty big plant in a tiny vase

  • set it outside (all natural)

    and water it

    or put it in the bathroom and have a nice hot steamy shower and water it

  • @princessmel2030 - I'd suspect that this would be certain death for the LF. No plant survives the amount of steam I produce, whence indulging in a steamy shower.

  • @vanawesome - "ferns" are spose to love steam from the rainforest

    i dont think u or i could produce that much steam to make things worst for that poor sick looking "fern"

  • are you sure thats a fern? it looks like a "corn plant" from ikea... I know because I had one... and all plants from ikea die morbidly terrible deaths

    I would say replant it outside of the ikea deathtrap planter pot and give it some cold medicine... maybe some vodka... OR some proper planting soil... OR buy another ikea corn plant? :P

  • @mgphenom - it was from ikea as mentioned in the comment just below! Good eye sir! But I don't remember what the plant is called. Possible a corn plant, although it's never given me any delicious corn. Stupid Love fern. If you are a corn plant, you're the laziest one ever.

  • @vanawesome then sir... I would say your course of action is actually quite clear... buy 50 or so of the same looking plants and furnish the whole house with them... when asked for the reasoning for the sudden surplus of "Love Ferns" you need only reply

    "Our Love Fern Runneth Over Babe"

  • WOW, a love fern makes a great impression, GOOD JOB OLD CHAP :)

    Peace, ace77man

  • @ace77man - I know right?! Best purchase I ever made. "Buy a fern of sorts, get a smokin hot lady friend... FOR LIFE!" That's what the sign said under the plant section at ikea. I thought they were just being quirky europeans again, turns out it was true!

  • It is not the fern that has the power. It is you two. You got the love fern for a certain price it's really what you guys have.

  • aww. This was a nice one. :)

  • To save your love "fern":

    why not arrange to meet in a bar and then you and the fern can pretend you have never met. Ive heard this spices things up alot

  • @electroforpresident - these are the kinds of ideas that will surely get electro into office in 2012!!

  • That's not a fern so your love will survive. Looks to me like it got too much water and not enough light and fresh air.

  • @Brennna it doesnt need air geez it need Co2

  • @Brennna - so your saying that because of it's mistaken identity all symbolism is now null and void?! Yeah I could get behind that idea.

  • @vanawesome No. I'm saying take care of the plant properly, not as a fern. Look it up if you have to. Actually, it reminds me of the "monarchy", they keep a certain amount of ravens at the tower of London and clip their wings so they can't leave because if they leave the monarchy will crumble. It reminded of your plant. Poor thing, so much stress. :(

  • You are quite the romantic fellow, sir.

    Is that even a fern? Or is it a giant yucca? If the latter, give it sun and air circulation (do you have an outside area?), but not too much water.

    In any case, maybe figure out what the heck it is first.

  • @Shyaporn - sound advice sir. Very sound. I was hoping that the interbone could tell me at little to no effort on my part. I'll wait to see if that happens first, if not, then I'll take some steps on my own to solve this puzzle.

  • there's 3 golden rules you have to follow when dealing with love ferns. 1. don't put it in direct sunlight, 2. don't get it wet, and 3. the most important rule of them all is, never, ever, feed it after midnight! i saw it on a movie once. anyway, try it for a couple of months and see how it works out.

  • @hippysIapper - nicely done with the gremlins reference. I think I'd like a sea of mutated love ferns though, I've always wanted a multitude of relatively harmless foes to slaughter all throughout the evening.

  • Ok First, ignore the people that are calling it a bamboo plant. It is NOT a bamboo plant. It is a Yucca Elephantipes, or better known as a Yucca Cane. Secondly, how many hours of sun does it get? How bright? How often do you water it? How often do you fertilize it & if so with what? It looks like it's being overwatered, but I need to know these things first. If you're serious about reviving the plant, send me a message on here. I'm a horticultural science girl, so I should be able to help. :)

  • @DicentraSpectabilis but isn't this plant a shade plant?

  • @DicentraSpectabilis - Bingo! You sound like you know what you're talking about! It's next to a window with the blinds drawn, so, not a whole lot of light gets through, but some does. I water it probably once every two weeks. I let the soil get dry as was recommended before I water it again. fertilize it... next to never, I did it once.  It seemed to get worse. I'm serious. You will receive a message.

  • I sent you a private message on some basics. Let me know if you got it. Tropicals can be, sometimes, a bit high maintenance if you don't know alot about them. I'll try my best to help you revive your yucca to it's former glory. ;)

  • Nitrogen and potassium will give the plant a super boost. It would also be a good idea to change out the soil for extra measure.

    No theme song yet... bummer.

  • The love fern cannot die!

    Er, get a plastic plant.

  • just sneak out and buy a new one

  • use the radioactive ooze from the ninja turtles that should bring the plant alive but the sideffects many turn it into a teenage mutant ninja

  • what is different from where it was? Usually that is a clue?

  • You can get a packet of plant feed.

    Otherwise replace that thing with a ficus. She'll never notice.

  • get a new one...

  • @folly4444 - NO. 

  • Steroids! Lots and lots of steroids.

  • @ricksname - YEAH! I want the love fern to be RIPPED.

  • So, how many bowls did you packed Mr. Awesome? Cuz damn.

  • @SmartedPAnda - No we just finished moving, all my bowls are unpacked and in the cabinets. I'm not sure why we're discussing my bowls, but now I'm hungry for cereal.

  • @vanawesome I find it interesting and awesome, you respond to my comments to near a 1/1 ratio. I feel special.

  • I like your Hair and Beard :3

  • @MrOnlyOne52 - Thanks! I like your face and brain!

  • @vanawesome *Blush* Thank you :3

  • He's right..it's not a fern. It's a bamboo plant. tee hee

  • Psst, buy a new one, she'll never notice! :p

  • I'm not sure why Tessa sounded like a grizzled Aunt Jemima at the end, but I wholeheartedly approve.

  • @yecti - yeah, it's a mystery to me as well, but oh so satisfying.

  • New compost might help, make sure it's got the right Ph level if that's a tropical plant :p

    Ask in your local gardening store too :)

  • @bebobandito - All excellent advice, I will do at least two of the 3 things you've mentioned here.

  • those things are hard to grow man. I had one, it dies. To much water, root rot.

  • You *are* this and that and whatnot!

    Anyway, the fern needs plenty of water (but not too much water) and sunlight.  I'm thinking that sunlight is what it's missing, since bathrooms generally don't have bay windows.

    If getting it more sunlight sounds too complicated, buy a new one.

  • Re-pot it, give it some worm-poop, and some good water, change the soil would probably work too. And keep it in a Nice sunlighty area but make sure it don't get to much sun... Lol.. That's all I can say too do.

  • It needs natural sunlight. Put near a window for a while.

  • I'll bet twitter has some plant helpists online

  • Looks like a classic case of over-water, moved it to direct sunlight, and back to original spot syndrome...

  • Buy a new one that almost look alike in height and leaf..... Just say it was "magick" water!

  • Wow, marriage has done strange things to Tessa's voice.

    She kinda sounds like a very excited Cleveland Jr.

  • Anyway...

  • THE PANTHER ROCKED!!

  • I only know how to kill plants, accidently and on purpose. On these gorunds, I refuse to offer any advice.

    But good luck!

  • @AnIrrationalRatio - Your username and your comment are both fantastic.

  • water it, speak to it. 

  • @lili4trees - I do speak to it, I always say "Down with trees!" Then it just dies more. Maybe he's also 4trees and all this time I've been beating him down emotionally with my anti tree rhetoric.

  • buy a new one, one that looks identical

    oh and make sure you hide this comment afterwards

  • @dctcool - haha. Tessa is well aware of the state of the love fern, we've been struggling to keep it alive for months now actually. So I thought it best to consult the experts, that's right, random youtube viewers are experts at plant care.

  • It's not a fern vanawesome. It's Bamboo. Look up proper watering, soil and light conditions and change anything if necessary.

    Also you can buy "fertilizer spikes" at most any hardware store. Just pop one of the spikes into the soil near the roots put on a bit of water and it should help the plant live past this horrible "deathly ill" looking phase :).

    Best of Luck DUDE!

  • @Tasya89 - not bamboo actually, I'm still on the fence about the whole fern debate, but I'm certain it's not bamboo. I'll look into the fertillizer spikes, they sound extreme, like a sweet guitar solo should be playing when I jam those spikes into the dirt.

  • @Tasya89 lol bamboo, you fail.

  • Love Fern needs...love.

  • God I laughed so hard! Nice job man!

  • @lduk - always happy to amuse you my curiously eyebrowed man!  How's things?? i see you got a lavaliere mic. You lucky bastard. I want one. Immediately, give it to me right now.

  • @vanawesome LOL. Things are well thanks. Indeed I do, In fact, I have 2. They're nothing special actually, they cost like £3 each lol. Although the recording device they connect to is awesome! That was £150.

  • I'm no expert, but would uggest to give the fern that's not a fern new soil in a bigger pot, some water, and more light.

    Bet of luck:)

  • Best. Panther. EVAR.

    Seriously, though, the fern looks like it's outgrown its pot and...well, is being strangled. Get a bigger pot and replant. Baneraze's comment below is a good one.

  • it looks like the fern has been cut back a bit over time, but hasn't been switched to any bigger pots to accommodate the root system, buy a bigger pot put new potting soil in break up the love fern's root ball put it in the pot, cover it with soil and give it a little drink. it'll look bad for a couple days due to shock from replanting, but after it should get better.

    ps- one more thing "It's not a fern!"

  • @Baneraze - I see. take the panthers side why don't you! haha. Actually, we just recently moved it to that pot from a much smaller one. And the stubby branch you see on the left, used to be rich with leaves, but they all died off.

  • Panther always tells the truth

  • @Tautudels - he is as wise as he is inspirational.