Your Bible On Psychotherapy 5: Jesus and the Fig Tree

[LeaveLikeTheSane]

Brilliant, man. Really creative. 

[yesimsandw1ch]

I've said it before the first time I watched these, and I have to say it again the fourth time. Great vids. Great brain. I like you.

[bobsmeerfak]

@yesimsandw1ch Anyone who wants to watch my videos four times deserves my humble thanks, and a cookie.

[TheFaithCheck]

Wow, this is your best one yet! Freaking Awesome!

[bobsmeerfak]

@TheFaithCheck Dude, many thanks, I appreciate it.

[somethinguncreative]

This is perfection! My favourite thing about this is the equal use of urban slang, biblical talk, & cop show dialogue.

[bobsmeerfak]

@somethinguncreative Hey, thanks. I was hoping that would come across. You're the first to mention it specifically.

[1om8cat]

Who else caught the background chuckle @ 0:40 after the Rick Perry reference?

[sonoki82]

Biblical characters in need of therapy:

John - Needs drug counseling following his bad LSD trip on the island of Patmos (Revelation)

Ananias and Sapphira - Have trust, candor issues; related case is Peter, who succumbs to antisocial conduct in the form of mafia-like killings of those who fail to make payments to the Godfather (Acts 5:1)

Yahweh - Needs counseling for his excessive fear of the census, i.e., census-phobia (2 Samuel 24:1) and terroristic threats (Leviticus 26:14)

[mdiem]

4:04 The Virgin Mary Sandwich! LOL

Classic stuff, man.

[DeistByDefinition]

Man, I HAD TO LISTEN AGAIN TO THAT OUTRO... Groovy!!! Shit, my bass ain't tuned...

[Akira625]

I wonder what happened to Judas for being a snitch.

[ahmnatheist]

Your best work yet, sir. Bravo.

[scatustherising]

you sir have propelled yourself to a new level not only have you made your videos funny you have also made the bible more meaningful than any burning bush in some bronze age country thank you and keep up the good work

[bobsmeerfak]

@scatustherising Hey, thanks for the support. I really appreciate it.

[bary1234]

Dude, these are so awesome! :) These deserve billion views.

[bobsmeerfak]

@bary1234 Thank you, my friend!

[balanceseeker]

Five stars, high fives, thumbs up, and favorited. Well, I can only do two of those things these days, but still that is your best one yet, in my opinion.

[bobsmeerfak]

@balanceseeker Thanks for the kind words!

[philosophicalreason]

Just a comment but an interesting fact the temple in Jerusalem is built on top of where Jupiter's temple was.

[bobsmeerfak]

@philosophicalreason Interesting. The Roman god Jupiter? Just looking that up now - did they also build that on even older ruins of a previous Jewish temple?

[philosophicalreason]

@bobsmeerfak lol i hit wrong reply button just refer to Your Bible On Psychotherapy 5 Jesus and the Fig Tree

[philosophicalreason]

@philosophicalreason I am not sure but if you need more information i can send it,of course people of the jewish faith denounce it but also deny any type of further investigation which i think is odd because if i was in their place and say it isn't true let them investigate it would bolster their faith,seems when evidence is wanted religious groups are the first to not let or denounce any investigations(shroud of Turin for example proven false but religious people still say it is real)cont.

[philosophicalreason]

Michael Angelo i think during his time could make the same thing,what they did was make sure there was a closed in area where the sun could shine in and put a white sheet in front of an object and the heat from the sun after long exposure actually "burned" the forms likeness on the sheet.

[turb0m0nk3y]

Another masterpiece, you have to do Jonah and the Whale at some point

[bobsmeerfak]

@turb0m0nk3y Yeah... I may have to do an episode combining all the hallucination stories... Revelation, the whale, the burning bush...

[Delorioable]

LOL!!!!!!

[TheWhimsicalMimzy]

That was GENIUS! "You gonna pull an evac over a fig tree?" LMAO

[bobsmeerfak]

@TheWhimsicalMimzy Thank you indeed :)

[petesauber]

Please, please PLEEEASE give a "Special Victims Unit" treatment to Judges Chapter 19!

[bobsmeerfak]

@petesauber Know what? I've never read that story before until now. That is totally fubar! What a nice passage for a family devotional reading... I'll definitely keep that one in mind for an episode.

[grant50]

That's it! Christianity is a protection racket. Bring the clergy up on RICO charges!

[Parabol0086]

I'm pretty certain it's because you included the kissing vid in your Flagging guide vid.

Keep up the great work

[bobsmeerfak]

@Parabol0086 I have no idea how that got in there...

[SinnFein4ever]

@bobsmeerfak

How about Satan?

The poor guy's always getting blamed for everything.

[detersgumig]

Your versions of the bible stories are not only infinitely more entertaining, they're also more credible ;-)

[bobsmeerfak]

@detersgumig Somebody had to do something, right? :) Thanks!

[rriverstone1]

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

[bobsmeerfak]

@rriverstone1 Stand by, I'm sending down 12 legions of angels to assist you.

[tommyru]

Great job again!

[bobsmeerfak]

@tommyru Thanks, much appreciated!

[7hkey]

god cop, bad cop, haha!

[bobsmeerfak]

@7hkey :) It seemed fitting...

[MizManagement]

You've done it again! Love your work, man!

[bobsmeerfak]

@MizManagement Hey, thanks a zillion!

[ronnystoehr]

Excellent! How about one per week....just kidding! ;)

[bobsmeerfak]

@ronnystoehr Actually, I'd love to do that. And it's not out of the question. The only thing is keeping them short enough to make it possible. I'd like to keep them all under 5 minutes but the last two have been over 6 minutes, and that extra editing time adds up. :)

[ronnystoehr]

@bobsmeerfak Wow, I didn't see that coming! Now I'm looking forward to my weekly Coffee with Claire and Holy Therapy With Bob... ;)

[SirGibbels]

If you actually wrote a version of the bible like this...I would buy it.

[bobsmeerfak]

@SirGibbels Actually, I am writing something similar to that, a satire of the bible, but from a slightly different angle. If I find a publisher I definitely won't be quiet about it. :) Thanks for the support.

[TheRenekruse]

:D thanks again for the giggles, I am very glad to have come across your cannel. Thumbs up

[bobsmeerfak]

@TheRenekruse Thanks! Stick around, we'll try to have a few more laughs together.

[gilless429]

Just realized : "I'm peace'n now. And he spake unto them the great commision." That's just hilarious. You're the best.

[bobsmeerfak]

@gilless429 :)

[gilless429]

The Jerusalem gang unit, hilarious reference ! And the one with God and the holy spirit... Just awesome. Really, as great as the others. And that sure is a feat.

[bobsmeerfak]

@gilless429 Thanks:) I really wanted to use the actual Law & Order SVU theme music but I figured there might be copyright trouble.

[Artwich]

"But his insurance company wouldn't pay out because they determined it was an act of god"

genious :P

[bobsmeerfak]

@Artwich HA! Thanks, I couldn't resist.

[TheLivingDinosaur]

This series just gets better and better! Fortunately there's so much material in that book that it looks like it'll run for a long, long time! (Thanks for the mirror, btw).

[bobsmeerfak]

@TheLivingDinosaur Thanks, brotha, I appreciate it. Yeah, they set themselves up well for many centuries of mockery to come. (And I'm glad the flag was resolved).

[AtheisticTeenager]

Jesus lost his swagger, explains everything

[bobsmeerfak]

@AtheisticTeenager Hey, happens to everybody :)

[viridismonasteriense]

awesome ending

[bobsmeerfak]

@viridismonasteriense Thanks, I find the endings the hardest part to write.

[viridismonasteriense]

isn't jesus in the bible constantly praising authority and telling people not to question or disobey it? I mean, excellent video, but from that angle out of character for jesus.

Still loving it tho.

[bobsmeerfak]

@viridismonasteriense Thanks! And that's true, he does a lot of that. But he's inconsistent - he encouraged some rule-breaking too, like picking grain on the sabbath and stopping the stoning of the adulteress. And withering the fig tree was itself a bit anti-social.

[viridismonasteriense]

@bobsmeerfak yeah, jesus does weasel out of confrontations, almost like a lawyer. The character of jesus in the bible is keen not to say anything that would directly contradict the old testament, oppose authority (farisees and romans), while simultaneously subverting them. Like with the stoning, he doesn't say it's wrong to stone but he does stop them. When some try to trap him by asking jesus if they should pay taxes to caesar, he cleverly once again gets out of defying authority. Slippery git.

[bobsmeerfak]

@viridismonasteriense So true, he would have made a good politician, or a trial lawyer.

[Parabol0086]

I am loving your related videos at the moment. A shit load of lesbian asians kissing. Fuark!

[bobsmeerfak]

@Parabol0086 LOL

[ZergAteu]

I love the jesus on the sandwich part :-)

[bobsmeerfak]

@ZergAteu Thanks :) Minor correction though - that's the virgin Mary on the sandwich... :)

[ZergAteu]

@bobsmeerfak Yeah, I wanted to write „Mary” but for some reason I wrote Jesus.

[AuntieDiluvian]

Wonderful!!!!

[bobsmeerfak]

@AuntieDiluvian Thanks, AD!

[TheMagicSandwichist]

HAHAHA this is my favorite one so far :D

[bobsmeerfak]

@TheMagicSandwichist Sweet, glad to hear that.

[PwnerGeist]

WOW good shit this one was awesome and it has the Good end instead of the bad one!

[bobsmeerfak]

@PwnerGeist Hey, thanks much! Yeah, he deserves a better ending for sure.

[sikViduser]

these keep getting better and better

[bobsmeerfak]

@sikViduser Nice, that's what I like to hear, thanks!

[TheAnubisDrake]

Samson!

[bobsmeerfak]

@TheAnubisDrake He's on my list :)

[TheAnubisDrake]

@bobsmeerfak Fantastic. I was thinking of doing a video about him myself shortly.

[bobsmeerfak]

@TheAnubisDrake Awesome, go for it - you'll probably get to him before I can. Good choice too; I haven't seen anything on him floating around.

[FishHeadSalad]

You are too much J! another thumbs up on this one.

Take care -Salad

[bobsmeerfak]

@FishHeadSalad Thanks, brotha. Hope you're well!

[n3rdm4n]

Awesome, thanks!

[bobsmeerfak]

@n3rdm4n Glad you liked, nerdman!

[CorvinusVZ]

me gusta!

[bobsmeerfak]

@CorvinusVZ muchas gracias!

[download333]

This sorta reminds me of the lolcats bible.

[bobsmeerfak]

@download333 There is one?!! I gotta get me one of those.

[DaithiDublin]

Oh, I smiled right through that. Blasphemy at it's finest!! You'd wonder why he didn't just make the tree grow some fruit on the spot instead of zapping it. Definite sign of anger issues there. Might be nice to explore what happened in his adolescence to bring him to that state. It's not in the bible, of course, so it does make you wonder. How about a Wonder Years episode?

[bobsmeerfak]

@DaithiDublin You're right - anybody can trash a tree - making it immediately sprout fruit would be truly impressive. Yeah - I think there's more Jesus to explore in all eras, Wonder Years through Golden Girls.

[CIndigo87]

Awesomeness!

[bobsmeerfak]

@CIndigo87 Thank you!

[psycho3968]

awesome as usual! you gotta get these things on TV, something like robot chicken or SP, or just your own show, the bible would provide enough material for a hundred seasons. :-)

[bobsmeerfak]

@psycho3968 Oh, that I were slightly more organized and a much better self-promoter. But thanks for the encouragement - we'll see where it goes. Right now I'm just having fun. :)

[dondude69]

It's good that he got help before they nailed him!

This story sounds familiar.

[bobsmeerfak]

@dondude69 Yeah, getting nailed then stayed on your record forever.

[Usersname1983]

Lot and his daughters.... c'mon, man. Do eeeeeeeeettttttttttttttttttttt­tttt!!!!!!

[bobsmeerfak]

@Usersname1983 Coming soon to a Youtube near you. It's gonna be a 2-parter: the Sodom & Gomorrah disaster, and then the incest debacle. Give me an episode or two, we're gonna get to it :)

[kyndra1966]

My fave so far!

[bobsmeerfak]

@kyndra1966 Cool, good to hear that. Right before I release one I always think, "Oh god, they're going to hate it." :)

[lilimax555]

Face on the toast ... Perfect

[bobsmeerfak]

@lilimax555 It's the little things that make me happy.

[lilimax555]

Love it ....best yet !

[bobsmeerfak]

@lilimax555 Nice, thanks!

[saxmanchiro]

If the bible read like this, I might be tempted to pick it up and read it. But, alas, that would not happen since fiction writings must be entertaining and uplifting. Who wants to read a book on extreme carnage, rape, incest, infacticide, fratricide, genocide, feudalism, 900 yr old guys wasting time building big ass boats and then going for a cruise with millions of animals, plants, fungi, bacteria and protists and then pull into port and watch his family make out.

[bobsmeerfak]

@saxmanchiro If only they'd make a movie, we could at least eat popcorn and sit in the AC while we were watching it.

[gamutman]

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot! WTF?

[bobsmeerfak]

@gamutman Yeah, glad you picked that up! I'm always afraid most of these bits go down the inter-drain.

[viicISrotcib]

the circle is now complete.

[bobsmeerfak]

@viicISrotcib and now, to the pub...

[rhodill]

And I say unto you- Awesome!

[bobsmeerfak]

@rhodill Amen, baby.

[philhellenes]

Probably a lot closer to truth than the "official" version.

[bobsmeerfak]

@philhellenes Right? Especially since there are two "official" versions (Matthew and Mark) within any translation.

[bamboo4tameshigiri]

Finally! The happy ending.

[bobsmeerfak]

@bamboo4tameshigiri I think we deserve it, don't you? :)

[bamboo4tameshigiri]

@bobsmeerfak Hell yeah!

[muzzleflash59]

Keep it up......this stuff is funny.

[bobsmeerfak]

@muzzleflash59 Thanks! Will do my best, glad you enjoy.

[inphuriated]

even better than the original ;)

[bobsmeerfak]

@inphuriated :) why settle for the original when you can change it

[deathtris]

Sweeeeeeet.

[bobsmeerfak]

@deathtris Right on, thanks for watching!

[62netty]

FTW!

[bobsmeerfak]

@62netty woohoo!!

[DemonAMVs]

Gold pure gold.

[bobsmeerfak]

@DemonAMVs A very flattering appraisal, thank you.

[GiraffesEatWindmills]

YAY!

[bobsmeerfak]

@GiraffesEatWindmills Thank you!...........