I just mean that the paint was such a stress on my body that it affected my appetite. And I never, never, never!!! 'don't feel' like eating. I'm a coffee/sugar a holic and for 4 days I could only have 1 sip, and that is if I forced myself.
I hope that little story didn't bore you but I often think of you as seeming different to most anorexics you see, because most begin wanting to lose weight, as far as I know, and you don't talk about that at all. Enjoy summer, do something special! xo
@hi771lrt Thank you for this. THe best I can describe my appetite is like when you are sick with the flu, and even the thought of eating makes you feel so revolting. It's that, mixed in with a fear of putting food in my mouth (also ptsd related). Plus I do feel that being malnourished for so long as a child (until I was 9) really has upset my relationship with food and eating in a profound way. Thats sort of how I understand it so far anyway..
@PixieEleven Wow, I didn't know you were malnourished as a child! That makes a lot of sense... It would affect you permanently, for sure. I'm pretty sure Audrey Hepburn said that. She was malnourished as a child. And that is perhaps where her compassion/humanitarianism stemmed from. She did work for Unicef.
I do remember flu/not wanting to eat, I think it's annoying that Doctors really *don't know* what's going on in the brain chemistry for so many conditions including yours.
@hi771lrt I'm sorry too you felt so stressed by the paint fumes. I have periods where I'm extra-crazy-sensitive to smell/taste/light etc. It's like everything is amplified and I find it really overwhelming.
I'm sorry you feel so frustrated and stuck, (depressed and blah too) :-( It must totally suck and I recognise those feelings but have a whole different set of emotions chasing me. I don't envy your problems....and I hope you get 'a break' so to speak!
Can I just say on the topic of your anorexia maybe being more PTSD than ED, I can beleive that as recently I had to work in a workplace that was getting painted everyday for a week and it gave me headaches and took my appetite away!
Disconnected / "blah" ... good to get/be reconnected ... therapy can be quite good. Perhaps too, work on/towards being more connected and able to open up with (good/close) friend(s) - friends can be good (even excellent!) "therapy" too; and good too, to (at least some day maybe) not be (as) dependent on ongoing therapy for continued wellbeing and support, etc.
Awh Pixie sorry again about the firewood....would love tolive with ya haing adventures a fairy and an elf together:-) Stress of any kind dramatic or mild i always feel makes us apathetic to ourselves but hypersensitive in other situations. You should acknowledge you successes a symptom of depression is not to celebrate them or feel good about them...youare doing amazing despite....
I think when in those times of having a genuinely good time, symptoms take more of a back seat rather than disappear--like music in your car drowns out the drone of traffic. When the "music" stops and the drone of traffic returns we become more sensitive to the noise" One day, Pixie, you life will only be music. Hang in there
You are so strong! I am going through hell right now, and feel compleatly disconneted from everyone; my friends, my family and everyone :P Your videos help me acsept I am not alone! <3 you! Stay strong! Bought some goodies for you today! XD
@jammieapple You are amazing. I'm sorry to hear things are really tough for you right now. You know I am just a message away. Please inbox me. I mean it sincerely. Take care sweets xoxo
You are so sweet ! My goodness so glad you are alright! Your poor body and head after all that wood fell on you! This was not pointless at all and I related on so many points . It was so nice to actually hear someone verbalized it so thank you a lot . I agree therapy is so tough and I'm sending lots of thoughts and prayers your way for continued recovery in this all! Xx
Pixie, it's always so nice to hear from you. I was having the same problem with my therapist the other day where I had no idea what to say to her. I felt like a fool spending $165 an hour to just sit there.
@popinfresh awww thank you for taking me as I am - a bit of a babbling mess.
Therapy is hard work. I think people don't understand what it takes to just show up for an appointment sometimes, let alone string together thoughts and words. Much love
Lol! Re: Firewood. Maybe don't stack it so high from now on...just an idea! You are lucky to be alive!!!
hi771lrt 3 weeks ago
I just mean that the paint was such a stress on my body that it affected my appetite. And I never, never, never!!! 'don't feel' like eating. I'm a coffee/sugar a holic and for 4 days I could only have 1 sip, and that is if I forced myself.
I hope that little story didn't bore you but I often think of you as seeming different to most anorexics you see, because most begin wanting to lose weight, as far as I know, and you don't talk about that at all. Enjoy summer, do something special! xo
hi771lrt 3 weeks ago
@hi771lrt Thank you for this. THe best I can describe my appetite is like when you are sick with the flu, and even the thought of eating makes you feel so revolting. It's that, mixed in with a fear of putting food in my mouth (also ptsd related). Plus I do feel that being malnourished for so long as a child (until I was 9) really has upset my relationship with food and eating in a profound way. Thats sort of how I understand it so far anyway..
PixieEleven 3 weeks ago
@PixieEleven Wow, I didn't know you were malnourished as a child! That makes a lot of sense... It would affect you permanently, for sure. I'm pretty sure Audrey Hepburn said that. She was malnourished as a child. And that is perhaps where her compassion/humanitarianism stemmed from. She did work for Unicef.
I do remember flu/not wanting to eat, I think it's annoying that Doctors really *don't know* what's going on in the brain chemistry for so many conditions including yours.
hi771lrt 3 weeks ago
@hi771lrt I'm sorry too you felt so stressed by the paint fumes. I have periods where I'm extra-crazy-sensitive to smell/taste/light etc. It's like everything is amplified and I find it really overwhelming.
PixieEleven 3 weeks ago
@PixieEleven Yeah your immune system is F(&^*@#$.
hi771lrt 3 weeks ago
I'm sorry you feel so frustrated and stuck, (depressed and blah too) :-( It must totally suck and I recognise those feelings but have a whole different set of emotions chasing me. I don't envy your problems....and I hope you get 'a break' so to speak!
Can I just say on the topic of your anorexia maybe being more PTSD than ED, I can beleive that as recently I had to work in a workplace that was getting painted everyday for a week and it gave me headaches and took my appetite away!
hi771lrt 3 weeks ago
Disconnected / "blah" ... good to get/be reconnected ... therapy can be quite good. Perhaps too, work on/towards being more connected and able to open up with (good/close) friend(s) - friends can be good (even excellent!) "therapy" too; and good too, to (at least some day maybe) not be (as) dependent on ongoing therapy for continued wellbeing and support, etc.
MichaelPaoli 3 weeks ago
Pixie on a shelf ;-)
You could be very handy there ... but don't let yourself be shelved too long or too often.
Reality update/sorts - yes, good to update reality once in a while - and sometimes quite sort it too - sometimes it really needs it. :-)
MichaelPaoli 3 weeks ago
Awh Pixie sorry again about the firewood....would love tolive with ya haing adventures a fairy and an elf together:-) Stress of any kind dramatic or mild i always feel makes us apathetic to ourselves but hypersensitive in other situations. You should acknowledge you successes a symptom of depression is not to celebrate them or feel good about them...youare doing amazing despite....
lalealynn 3 weeks ago
Comment removed
lalealynn 3 weeks ago
@lalealynn Despite all that has happened if youneed to talkinternet me:-)
lalealynn 3 weeks ago
Hi Dear Pixie... What would be wonderful is for you to create a new painting that symbolizes what you are feeling. I just know it would be AMAZING.!!!
Hugs,
- x0x - Tom
tommax26 4 weeks ago
I think when in those times of having a genuinely good time, symptoms take more of a back seat rather than disappear--like music in your car drowns out the drone of traffic. When the "music" stops and the drone of traffic returns we become more sensitive to the noise" One day, Pixie, you life will only be music. Hang in there
merelyme02 4 weeks ago
@merelyme02 You are an amazing friend. what you said is exactly it!!! Thank you for understanding me. You know how much that matters. thank you.
PixieEleven 4 weeks ago
You are so strong! I am going through hell right now, and feel compleatly disconneted from everyone; my friends, my family and everyone :P Your videos help me acsept I am not alone! <3 you! Stay strong! Bought some goodies for you today! XD
jammieapple 4 weeks ago
@jammieapple You are amazing. I'm sorry to hear things are really tough for you right now. You know I am just a message away. Please inbox me. I mean it sincerely. Take care sweets xoxo
PixieEleven 4 weeks ago
You are so sweet ! My goodness so glad you are alright! Your poor body and head after all that wood fell on you! This was not pointless at all and I related on so many points . It was so nice to actually hear someone verbalized it so thank you a lot . I agree therapy is so tough and I'm sending lots of thoughts and prayers your way for continued recovery in this all! Xx
Jalynn99 4 weeks ago
@Jalynn99 thank you so much for watching and for such a sweet comment. It means a lot. You're right, therapy is tough! Take care xoxo
PixieEleven 4 weeks ago
Pixie, it's always so nice to hear from you. I was having the same problem with my therapist the other day where I had no idea what to say to her. I felt like a fool spending $165 an hour to just sit there.
popinfresh 4 weeks ago
@popinfresh awww thank you for taking me as I am - a bit of a babbling mess.
Therapy is hard work. I think people don't understand what it takes to just show up for an appointment sometimes, let alone string together thoughts and words. Much love
PixieEleven 4 weeks ago
Sorry to hear you've felt so disconnected. :( and the concussion story, albeit funny, sounded very painful!! hope you're okay!
thisisnotahand1 4 weeks ago
@thisisnotahand1 Thank you - that's very sweet. Yes, I am much better from the concussion. Take care
PixieEleven 4 weeks ago