Added: 2 years ago
From: rageloveszephyr
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  • Jo's reaction is just absolutley perfect :D

  • i guess im an imbocile then, and im over 7 :/ haha love this clip!

  • best comedy quiz show ever!

    2nd place is never mind the buzzcocks.

    3rd place is shooting stars.

  • so what is this show? just british people sharing facts they found on wikipedia?

  • @Samodrei yup

  • if this was an American show, Alan would've had to make a public apology the next day for his Mexican impersonation.

  • @Murder0redruM you mean like when the BBC folded and asked TG to do the same?

  • @Murder0redruM Lies, I always hear Mexican impression's on American T.V. The difference here is that it's not meant in a bad manner or harmful way,to try and degrade Mexicans. An example would be like the insult that occurred on Top Gear that was "offensive", he never apologized and no one in Mexico really actually gave a shit. It was a political stunt the Mexican government always pulls to distract us while they continue "under the table" offers with the U.S. and take away our rights.

  • @SackFulloApplez1993

    he was being sarcastic. you fail

  • @Mohrkai lol wut???

  • @SackFulloApplez1993

    fail, you fail!

  • @Mohrkai Okay I fail, now explain.

  • I love Jo's reaction in this, it really compliments Alan's style

  • Stephen

    "Oh, don't look at me like that! You fucking pig-eyed sack of shit! Don't you do that!"

    ... and still charming:)

  • i love how alan always tries to piss off jo:)

  • What's blue and smells like blue paint?

    Red paint

    What's brown and runs round your garden?

    A fence

  • @neffonmyknee you mean red, not blue?

  • When Stephen said: What's red and silly? I thought he was gonna say Alan in his shirt :P

  • Alan is such an adorable guy :D

  • I spilled spot remover on my dog, now he's gone.

  • My personal favourite.

    What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

    What's blue and fluffy? Pink fluff holding it's breath.

  • @LyndzyLentil i've heard that joke in a different way. what's pink & fluffy? pink fluff. what's blue & fluffy? pink fluff in disguise

  • "Do you have any other jokes where the punchline's a sti-"

    "LOADS!"

  • I watched this a year ago. Still gets me EVERY TIME.

  • omg mr fry sworr omf stil love thim tho

  • "Oh, Don't look at me like that, you F***ing pigeyed sack of shit"

    aaah.... Stephen....

  • Alan: What's brown and sticky?

    Me: Anal.

  • @RayKanen69 Jimmy Carr FTW.

  • did you know helen keller had a dog

    Nether did she

  • did you know helen keller had a dog?  nether did she :3

  • This makes me laugh every single time I watch it!

    Love the naughty strawberry joke in particular :D

  • why did kelly fall of her bike?

    - because her mum threw a fridge at her

  • @HectorTheBichon Can you explain the "What's red and silly" joke to me? I don't understand the punchline at all. Sure blood clots are red, but how are they silly? Sounds just disgusting. (I bet that's why Alan made that face at Fry, because he didn't get it either.)

  • @Crunchy68 clot is a old english insult meaning someone is a fool (or silly)

  • @Crunchy68 Clot is another word for someone who's a little thick or a bit stupid. in other words, someone who's a bit silly.

  • @WLYBEE I'm deleting your comment as I do not allow misogyny and sexism on my videos. Direct your ignorance elsewhere.

  • what was alans second stick joke, couldnt hear for the laughing?

    

  • @mrblueboy99 what do you call a boomarang that won't come back?

  • @mrblueboy99 what do you call a boomerang taht won't come back

  • The more I watch this terrific show the more I fall in love with Alan.

    Too damn funny and so cute, like a naughty little boy!

  • I love how Alan stares at Jo as he says the punchline to the mushroom joke!

  • omg i luv alan haha its funny cause i didnt get the joke and felt really dumb when shes like thts a joke for an imbocile :/ haha but i get it now :)

  • 10 - It looked so serious the whole time I could? not stop laughing.

  • what program did you record with? look good

  • superb video my friend i made one like this but yours is better

  • Alan's legendary cuteness is what makes Qi what it is

  • What's red and sits in a corner?

    A naughty strawberry :)

  • What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?

    Dr. Dre

  • Why did the plane crash?

    Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

  • It's hairy from the outside, wet on the inside it's starts with a C and ends with a T

    A coconut

  • @CiaranMcGarry1 Ah, thanks for the source. Didn't know.

  • better in a mexican accent

  • My grandfather's last wish before he died was to be covered in butter.

    He started going downhill very quickly after that.

  • Alan's face at the blood clot joke! Bless him xD.

  • What did the tree do for his sisters birthday party?

    A Schtick

  • @MartinJWiller @BezergerR honestly? Shut up.

  • The mushroom joke is for children because it doesn't even make a hint of an effort to undermine the society she so despises.

  • What's white and dangerous?

    A fridge up a tree

  • I really hate to see normally entertaining people stoop to such level for a few cheap laughs. This kind of humour is not just painfully unfunny, it doesn't even feel right to call it "humour" in the first place.

  • @BerzergerR Then why bother clicking on 'stupid jokes'?

  • @ben1111113 Because I was hoping to see something funny. Expectations were not met.

  • @BerzergerR And what you actually got were stupid jokes?

  • @BerzergerR Oh perish the thought that people who make their living being funny should actually enjoy telling simple jokes. That's as terrible an idea as Lewis Hamilton popping out in the car to visit his mum.

    What is it that these jokes lack that prevents you from being seen to be amused by them? Painfully unfunny means you hurt yourself resisting the urge to show amusement at something which you consider somehow too crude or simple for you to be amused by. Get over yourself.

  • @MartinJWillett Um... where exactly did you get that retarded notion that I have an urge to show amusement at this to begin with, let alone suppress that urge? As for what the jokes lack, well... Wit, for one. Or we might as well start laughing at "what's black and round? A bowling ball!" On a side note, did you seriously get pissed at me for not finding stupid jokes funny?

  • @BerzergerR How do you define a stupid joke other than one you are not prepared to be seen laughing at? How do you define wit in such a way that you don't appear to be just a pretentious tosser with an exaggerated sense of his own importance and intelligence?

  • @MartinJWillett Come on, you can try spinning the story about everyone having their own sense of humour and that there's no such thing as bad taste in comedy, but I will always fervently disagree. For instance, you'll never convince me blue comedy is not the intellectual laziness of humour.

    "... not prepared to be seen laughing at?" Seriously? Do you believe I "decide" what I do and don't find funny based on what people would think or something? How do you even come up with this stuff?

  • @BerzergerR If you have decided that blue comedy is intellectual laziness then clearly you do put your social climbing internal censor in control of your laugh reflex. It is very telling that you see being intellectually lazy as a sin. You clearly laugh to be seen to be laughing. That is pathetic.

    For me I laugh if it's funny and I try very hard never to let my sense of humour be controlled by the narrow-minded pillock tendencies which you let control yours.

  • @MartinJWillett Look, I'm going to put it as simply as I possibly can. If I find something funny, I laugh at it. If I don't find it funny, I don't laugh even if others do. But when others try to tell me what to find funny, that's where I draw the line. Blue comedy for example is not funny to me because I never saw anything funny in it, because It never invoked the "laugh reflex" in my body. NOT because I "decided" that it is below my high horse. (cont)

  • @MartinJWillett You, however, seem to believe that I, at some point, did find it funny but later "decided" I no longer want to laugh at it. And you continued to openly uphold that delusion for the better part of the conversation. I just can't understand why.

  • @BerzergerR Good. We are agreed then. You know what you think, I know what I think, you know what I think you think and I think I know what you think. You can't under stand it and I can.

    Next.

  • @HectorTheBichon I've remebered all these jokes and retold them many times. Along with a few others I've heard.

    What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

  • What do a grape and a duck have in common?

    They can both fly, except for the grape.

  • I love how he's not even looking at Stephen.

    He's concerned and offended at Jo's disapproval. It's so innocent, so brilliant. And then he laughs at her as she's taking the piss, amazingly pleased with himself. Totally undeterred, he carries on.

  • @HectorTheBichon Whoop. Excuse my male normativity, I'm a moron.

  • @HectorTheBichon Excellent, sir.

  • How do you get a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door and put it in.

    How do you get an elephant in the fridge? Open the door, take the giraffe out and put the elephant in.

    There is a meeting and all the animals attend except one. Which is it? The elephant as he is still in the fridge.

    You must cross a river which is crocodile infested. How do you get across? Just swim across, all the crocodiles are at the meeting.

  • so they bleep out 'fuck' but not 'shit'?

  • what does a cow sing when it crosses the road............nothing its a cow

  • How do you get an elepahant into a refrigerator?

    1. Open the door.

    2. Put in the elephant.

    3. Close door.

  • @CptColumbo And how can you tell that an elephant has been in your fridge? - By the footprints in the quark...

  • my brother had an accident moving house. a bed fell on him. a sofa fell on him and lots of cushions and pillows fell on him. i phoned the hospital to see how he was. they said he was comfortable.

  • when is a door not a door?

    When it's ajar

  • Comment removed

  • What's brown and in a German forest?

    A Shtick.

  • Alan Davies cracks me up...

  • a rude one, but good

    what do you call a deer without eyes?

    no idea

    what do you call a deer without eyes or legs?

    still no idea

    well what do you call a deer without eyes, legs or a dick?

    still no fucking idea

  • @ewebb16 Only works in a non-rhotic accent.

    Why did the plane crash?

    Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

  • i love how fuck is censored but shit isnt :P

  • @spliefer Fuck me silly, you're shitting me? Fuck and shit are fucking censored? That shits fucked, shits fucking not as bad as fuck and fuck, fucks not even that bad,

  • what's green and smells of paint

    green paint

  • Aww... Allan

  • why did the fungi leave the party?

    Because there wasn't muchroom!

  • @mistytinker13 Clot sounds like clod, which is a British term for a stupid person.

  • @Aemoth 'Clot' also means 'stupid person' not just 'clod'.

  • What do you call a Fly without wings?

    A Walk

  • I don't get the blood clot one?

  • Alan Davies is so funny, every time i see this i crack up laughing so much that i can't get up! <3

  • Do you have any other jokes where the punchli--

    LOADS

  • i love Alan' reaction to Stephen's joke. and love stephen's reaction to alan's reaction even more!!! <3

  • How did Darth Vader know what you were getting for christmas?

    He felt your preseants....

    XD

  • I just loveeeee this!

  • The way Alan was observing Jo at 0:07 was so calculative, as though wondering why she wasn't enjoying the joke like she should. Bless him, I found the jokes hilarious!

  • I want to shag Alan Davies so hard. Do any other men feel the same way? :D Or is it just me...

  • @zaitesushion

    Oh, he's definitely worth at least a little snog. ^_^

  • An Easter joke for all you mushrooms...

    What do you get if you pour boiling water down a rabbit warren?

    Hot cross bunnies!!!

  • There was a typewriter and a toaster, and they were having a bath together. The toaster says, "Hey, could you pass me the soap mate?" And the typewriter replies, "No sorry, I haven't got any arms."

  • What's invisible and smells like carrots?

    Bunny farts.

  • Why did the plane crash?

    Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

  • What's white & wont fit down a rabbit hole?

    A Fridge! =D .... I could go all day!

  • Horrible jokes, but laughed really, really hard... What does that say about me, I wonder?

  • I know Jo was probably having a go at Alan for comedic effect, but nonetheless I find it ironic because those jokes are much funnier than all her tedious marriage and husband material she spouts at every opportunity.

  • why is the blood clot "silly"?

  • @sbwpolo14 Because in the UK clot is a slang term for an idiot/fool.

  • What's red and sits in the corner?

    A naughty strawberry.

  • @MrFivefivefivesix Well done for quoting a joke from the video. Oddly, after watching the video, I had already heard the joke. Why the need to put it as a comment? Use some imagination and come up with a fucking comment and stop quoting things from the video we have all just seen.

  • @mattissotrendy Hurr, you all pissed off. :]

  • What's red and bad for your teeth?

    A Brick.

  • I actually think the carrot one is pretty funny... *meganerd*

  • a carrot!!!!

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH XD

  • lol is it bad tht i dont get stephens joke lol :S

  • @magichick123456789 A clot is english slang for an idiot/fool

  • I could listen to these all days.

  • 1:04 Alan looks like a kid that just gotten their parent to swear :)

  • Bloody hell! That's aggressive of Stephen there! D=

  • Anyone know which episode this is? Thanks!

  • @CosplayingCassie s2e08

    it's brilliant!

  • @deehamma83 Thank you very much! I shall go and watch it now :D

  • I LOVE it when he swears. You just don't expect it, and then the 'Fucking pig-eyed sack of shit' comes out of nowhere.

  • I want to be Alan's naughty strawberry...

    Too much info?

  • I like Rich Hall's joke the best..... seconded only to Alan's ushroom joke in the funny voice.....

    Whats green and sings?

    Elvis Parsley...

  • When Stephen asks "what's red and silly?", I thought he'd say 'Alan Davies'

  • I'm more amused by Jo's reaction to well, everything.

  • his last joke with the fungi and that voice:')! i literally rofl'd at all those jokes

  • rofl at stephens joke. it gave off such an awkward moment

  • @mykovn I'm sorry, this video is moron-free. Please direct yourself to a video of flatulence.

  • @rageloveszephyr +1 internets for you

  • @mykovn What the fuck is wrong with you, seriously?

  • @EmmyNeander What? So you would disagree with me that these people are in fact not ugly but beautiful?

  • @mykovn Yes, in fact I would, and even if they weren't, it's hardly appropriate to say so. It's just basic courtesy to keep some things to yourself. But whatever.

  • @mykovn Yes, in fact I would, and even if they weren't, it's hardly appropriate to say so. It's just basic courtesy to keep some things to yourself. But whatever.

  • @mykovn The only ugly people here are shallow fucks such as yourself.

  • @SqueekyStallion1 Yeah, like you would get with a girl that isn't as good looking as normal. I bet you my life you wouldn't. Don't give me that lame ass excuse " I'm only looking out for her personality, I don't care how they look like" bullshit. Plus that isn't offensive at all. I'm only stating a fact and the fact is, they're ugly. You're like those idiots who thinks saying the world 'Black' is offensive and we should state them as African American.

  • @mykovn How does somebody's level of physical attraction any way to judge them? It's like if everybody was born with a number and you mock people who were born with lower numbers.

  • @Yugemos1 Dude look at everybody who were debating with me stopped after I put some logic and common sense to their head. They also think I am right. I'm not mocking or anything, just called stating a fact. If you guys would really like how I would change myself and not judge the book by its cover then go ahead and boycott the U.S. This is how the government raise me. To hate, to be violent, to judge and to kill innocent people based on their 'cover'.

  • @mykovn

    The government didn't raise you your parents did. We are all very sorry that your parents were idiots. Also we aren't surprised that given your upbringing you turned out to also be an idiot. We certainly shouldn't hold it against you, but we will.

  • @z3r0t0l3r4ns That coming from a hater? I guess you were imagining me as you so you can tell that all to yourself without bearing the guilt of actually saying that to yourself to not let you feel any lower than you're already are. Nice way to admit that you're a pathetic loser huh? Btw, so you don't think it's what the government is trying to teach kids these days? How World and even U.S History are mostly about the bad of what other race did? Isn't that teaching kids to hate other races?

  • @mykovn You are worse than Hitler I hope you die horribly.

  • @TrollReborn Wow I can't believe my words (literally) hurt you guys more than Hitler killing more than 6 millions jews including millions of other races too, and of course starting world wars. I'm that bad huh? Maybe I can talk

  • @TrollReborn You do know in a QI episode using Hitler deems you have lost the arguement

  • @qimaster333 @TrollReborn We don't care, unless you tell us a silly joke!

  • @1990Adamd All right then. Why did Santa Claus have to close his toy factory? Elf and Safety!

  • @qimaster333 There! :-)

  • @qimaster333 i don't get it. I probably don't because my english isn't good enough. could you please explain it to me?

  • @wubs23 Because elf can sound like health!

  • @qimaster333 Well done XD

  • @qimaster333 that was awesome

  • "Do you have any other jokes where the punchlines are st-?"

    "LOADS."

    Love this show.

  • I LOVE Alan's giggle.......priceless

  • @leemaycry

    Oh ok, now it makes sense! :D

    Not my fault, I'm not British :P

  • LOL! I freaking love this show!

  • lol why is it funnier when alan says the jokes in his mexican accent its effin priceless

  • At 1:05 Alan looks like a f***ing pig-eyed sack of shit... LOL

  • What got screwed? Rolling stones.

  • The bloodclot one doesnt make sense so your not missing out on anything

  • Comment removed