Added: 2 years ago
From: azrienoch
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  • I live in Kansas... it is weird.

  • you......suck?...... >.> <.<

  • Just you thinking you're the only good person out there says that you think you're better than everyone else. How good is that? I know this cuz unfortunatly I'm the same way

  • adhd or bipolar?

  • Once about a time, a kid saw his older brother masturbating. Instead of telling him what he was really doing, he told him that it's "Something you do when you're as old as I am, so go play with your toys and don't tell mommy"

    Well seriously what was I supposed to do? The kid's fucking FIVE

  • Once a pawn a time there was a little boy who went on the "internet" to see what it was all about! The little boy was shocked by how much evil the internet was filled with! his eye bled as we watched "Donkey shows" and "Twink brunch munch", he sob at "blue waffles" and "Kids in a sand box", "Buck angel" to every other "shemale" his once golden world of smiles was shattered in to pieces like "Hatchet Vs. Genitals". the little boy became a man after that day and killed from self from all the pain.

  • you suck!

    Just kidding,you thing the right shit my friend!

  • Insect ADD

  • ok. here goes:

    There once was a guy with full blown AIDS

    Who tried to treat it with Flonase

    Though his nose never drips it's

    No help to his sickness

    So all day and night he huffs whippets

  • lol

  • what porn sites?

  • Cool bug..

  • You Rock!!!

  • YOU SUCK!

  • @tob1203 YOU WIN! --- who do you believe? Or maybe a better question, who do you want to believe?

  • Holy christ shit! i was stung by one of those bugs when i was a kid...i never forgave em...

  • The last one was an assassin bug. Scared the crap out of my wife one time.

  • What kind of bug is that they have them here in Kentucky I don't know what it is they are weird... DON'T EAT IT... lol no I'm just kidding you can I doubt it would taste good though

  • Kansas sucks, spiders AND creationists

  • Dude, this is STILL one of my favourite videos from You.

    If I had to choose one video show people what you're all about, I'd choose either this one or "Nice Rack".

    Either way, I find both videos to be delightful =)

  • Best intro on Patronization EVER =)

  • You made the right choice in not messing with that last critter. That looked like a wheel bug. He would actually give you some pain as where the spider you showed would not.

    I picked up a wheel bug when I was about 6. My thumb was swollen for hours.

  • suck!

  • SUCK YOU!

  • SUCK!

  • YOU

  • hahaha that second one is awesome!

  • oh how many people are going to type YOU SUCK? so stupid. Video was brilliant though.

  • YOU SUCK!!

  • Devise an instructional fairytale, you know, for kids. Slam poetry is super cool.

  • YOU SUCK!!!

  • You're on facebook!!! :(

  • dont movies do that?

    they have replaced the role that mythology once held...they reflect the ideals valued by our culture in the same way myths are embedded with the values of ancient cultures.

  • The thing on the tree at the end is called a wheel bug.

    THE MORE YOU KNOW :)

    (I live in Missouri :( )

  • whoa! That URL for outdoors sure has a lot on multi-legged creatures!

    I still cannot locate my mini tripod.

    We do need some new children's stories for the modern era of dumbasses.

  • YOU SUCK!!!

  • I'm always surprised to see trees in Kansas. I don' t know why but I imagine it's all flat.

  • Oh, it's not flat. I mean, it's not mountainous, but it's got these rolling hills of amber waves of grain that just tickle me pink. PINK, I SAY! Nah, go to the Red River Valley in Minnesota, where Lake Agassiz used to be. The bottom of a lake that was bigger than Lake Superior. THAT's flat. And the trees... well, most of the trees were actually planted there. I think everyone was required to plant so many after the Dust Bowl in Oklahoma.

  • With the second story you could have said "he was a little unstable so he sunk his knife in her navel" or something alone those line. :P

  • Kansas IS weird.

  • lol very funny, you suck by the way.

  • I gained my understandings from fairy tales as well. To this day, if I see a ginger bread house, old woman, or large oven, I take heed, and consider myself forewarned.

  • lmao

  • Here's one, "The Boy Who Cried Fuck Off, You Don't Know God Damned Dick":

    Once upon a time there was a boy who told his subscribers to fuck off because he thought they didn't know god damned dick, and then he got all worked up when some of them took offense and started to troll him, and so he made videos bitching about trolls. Then he got trolled some more.

    There's a moral there somewhere in that story, no?

  • Sure, there's a moral in there. But if the story had been told the way I would tell it, the boy's subscribers were already trolling him. Telling them to fuck off... seems like what people would normally do, without a story. No moral there, just common sense. So yeah, I guess yours is better for teaching.

  • Oh, just "them"? If I remember the story correctly, the boy didn't really specify who he'd like to fuck off.

  • Yes, just "them." You try specifying when you're that hurt. You try to be sure not to say fuck off to ALL 12,000 people when it feels like all 12,000 are trolling you. I think you have no right whatsoever to tell me how I should have behaved. Why? Because you don't know god damned dick. Seriously. And this time, specifically you. You have no idea what you're talking about. Plus, I made videos complaining about trolls before I left. So really, fuck off.

  • Okey-dokey.

  • you suck

  • When he did that his subscriber base continued to increase. Irregardless of whether the response was particularly rational, that fact is an indication of the value of these videos.

  • I didn't say he makes bad videos. He doesn't.

    Look, I don't really troll him, I just watch in amusement as he draws it upon himself. I mean, how hard is it e.g. to say "sorry guys, that was a bit over the top" when you collectively offend your entire subscriber base because you "feel like all 12,000 are trolling you" (as if)?

    It's just like someone said, zuoPTIh8I_c#t=1m32s

    Anyway, I'm going to fuck off because he asked me to.

  • I explained all this in an interview with reverendatomsmasher. I'm not going to apologize because I needed to tell everyone to fuck off. You're the first in months to bring it up, so I don't know what you're thinking with "he draws it upon himself."

  • Ok, I'm sure you had perfectly good reasons to tell absolutely everyone to fuck off. There's always a reason for that, ain't there?

    And as I said, I don't _really_ troll you, so I don't know first hand, it's just a gut feeling. You've stuck your fingers in a chinese finger trap, and chinese finger traps are amusing.

  • Well, I think the point is not to take a video character too seriously. I did that about a year or so ago and we got into a tiff, and I don't want to do that again.

    I will prollly start a video site to support my books at some point, and it won't be associated with this. That's why I defend him, ultimately. He's a fellow writer.

  • @justanotherhacker what's the story behind this?

  • Irregardless?

  • Once upon a time a troll got punched in the face... The End

  • So true ...

  • Last one looked like a wolf spider :o

  • You suck!

  • love it! :-) Regards and have a skilful life. Pinge

  • KANSAS IS WEIRD!

    I lol'd

  • Wheel bug... they are everywhere, but it's pretty rare to see one. cool find.

  • Holy shit, whatever that insect was at the end? Eww! I'll work on a cautionary tale...

  • Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

    You cant see me now I just ate your eyeball.

    Ring around the rosey pocket full of posies.

    Even if I tried I could never regret my follies.

    RLT

  • Twinkle twinkle little star. Oh how you wish I didnt know where you are. I spy with my little eye I simply refuse to say goodbye. Little Bo Peep has lost her sheep. She is going to be forced into eternal sleep. Little miss Muffet sat on her tuffet The spider wont be the only thing crawling beside her. The three blind mice, run after the farmers wife. It all begins with a simple slice. Hey diddle diddle cat and the fiddle. All I want is just one little nibble.
  • NASTY!!! But good point .. i wrote this the other night.. someone might enjoy it and you might actually get it.. a little off from what you were sayin but just imagine stalkerish.

  • "...and he never got laid again" lol!!!!! a complete non sequitur but very apropriately placed.

  • Fantastic, Marvelous, Wonderful, Enlightening you still suck though!

  • YOU S... oh wait :) Good video

  • lol haha I never knew Kansas was weird! :p

  • I don't know what the facts are for Kansas but a study in England said that there were 131 spiders per square meter in the average meadow.

  • YOU SUCK xD i just love all your videos

  • Careful! You might burn your pale interneter's skin.

  • Oh but Az, you always talk down to us ;_; Haha

    Kansas seems like a nice, tranquil place. You should have done a story about the Reverse Troll; the one that writes something stupid, gets called on it and tried to pretend it was a troll.

    You could call it "The Importance of being Less Than Earnest", or something like that *shrug*

    Peace Az.

  • You might be in OZ

  • That last insect/arachnid looked HUGE.

  • Orb weaver, harmless.

  • LOL

  • Those spiders be trippin' ...

  • hahaha love it

  • Those are cute, but I actually like the original ending on the second one.

    Perhaps there needs to be a fable about a clueless corporation who tries to pimp itself on Twitter.

  • You Suck!

  • loved it.

  • Um...you suck?

  • cool stories. Nice spider too.

  • the story and a half was good and i hope you had a good time in kansas

  • enjoyed.

  • wow was it a radioactive spider???

    and now you have a secret second life as a transvestite spiderman?

    that's right you suck

    i don't know exactly what you suck.......but yeah..you do

  • That thing was huge!!!

    Katalyzt

  • Kansas is weird!

    haha, that was great.

  • you suck!!! lol jk

  • I m so gonna show this 2 my sis, she'll have a freakin' fit cuz of the spiders.

  • i love nature, what kind of bugs do you have up north?

  • Insert some joke about me being you suck boy here.

    I'm off to troll.

    I'm in Saint Joseph though, which is next to Kansas.  There, you just read a pointless fact about a troll. Quit feeding me, you asshats.

  • Hahahaha! Love your stories. lol

  • dem creepy crawlers makes good eats I reckon...

  • Jean Jean made a machine

    Joe Joe made it go

    Art Art made a fart and blew the whole thing apart

    Ok, perhaps I didn't make that one myself, but the moral of it is - keep people that has lots of gas away from your creations.

  • wow

    really big spider

    now do the boy who typed u r a fag

  • I hope this story involves a grammar Nazi.

    srsly.

  • I'm all for any story that rhymes!

  • those things are massive!!

  • There once was a kid named Mole,

    Who lived life as an internet troll.

    On YouTube he was pwned as a noob,

    Though he loved the reverse sound of oil...  ;)'

  • Funny, Az. I really needed it right now, too.

  • Once upon a calm, and funny quiet forum

    A user whose nickname today was nomnomnom

    Who loved to read jokes and see funny recent pics

    And for this reason was doing more and more clicks

    Whenever a link was looking quite promising

    For an addional round of laughs and lolling

  • A funny video, one day, was announced

    With a link that, really, looked not to be trounced

    No suspicious site, nothing just of boob

    Merely a plain link leading to Youtube

    But to his demise, something to be condoled:

    By going through this link, yes he had been rick-rolled.

  • I had been warned about Kansas but now that I know its a spider horde nation plotting to overthrow mankind I believe I may judgement may have been too rash....Long live Shelob the spider queen!

  • lmao i like the 2nd 1

  • I don't get it.

  • I like the second story..he must have been on Prozac.

  • You are the cutest thing ever. I wish you were queer ;)

  • U big Latin lover U.

  • EW! Kansas! Yuck! But otherwise, great video!

    I'm looking forward to seeing what you come up with here in Baltimore. :)

    And feel free to send me a message if you want to hang out sometime! I love your videos! :)

  • 303 views in 9 hours. not bad.

    keep up the good work Az.

    love ur vids ^.^

  • I like the Little Sally Skank story

  • YOU SUCK!

  • I've seen so many Sally Skanks and boys who cry You Suck on the web that I'm surprised they're not in a club!

  • Favorite youtuber of all time.

  • I used to live in that state.

  • "I'm a good person"...ummm...one shouldn't compliment oneself...it makes an asshole of both the giver and the getter.

  • dewd u Rok

  • We seriously need these books.

  • I could have saved you some time on that Kansas is weird conclusion.

  • There was a boy named Puck

    Uh...I think we know where this is going.

  • I really like your stories. The first video of yours that I ever saw was Once Again. Your stories are the best of all your videos.

  • ahhh kansas is scary

  • Then there's the one about the Happy Cabbie who made videos naked in his hotel, not realizing there was a mirror behind him and his behind in front of the audience!

  • I could have told you the Kansas is weird! I was born and raised there!!! HAAAAAAA!!!!

    The spider is a fall garden spider.The other bug is a Weevil......Watch out for Devil's claw!!

  • Nah, it's an assassin bug. Mean little things, just saw one outside today draining a lizard dry.

  • Assassin bug?? I'll be.I thought they were in South America.What part of Kansas are you in?

  • The South American part.

  • hhahahahaha

  • Hi Jeff,

    Great idea, we need updated stories featuring modern situation to help demonstrate morals.

    I do feel that the "boy who cried suck" got off lightly. "Sally Skank's" treatment was a bit much.

  • YOU SUCK!

    just trolling :)

  • Great video as always!

  • Hmm I'm in kansas. Why on earth are you here? What part?

  • mr. mark sat in the park to pass his time found girls online would ask for nude pictures, adress's too finally ms. missy sent them on through they planned to meet at missys place mark rushed on over as if in a race he knocked once, then once more a tall big man answered the door MR.missy dragged him in with a laugh and a grin the moral here girls and boys you might just end up mr missys toy
  • that was great XD

  • thank you!

  • Bwahahahaha!!! And you are so right, as always, about no kids books on current life situations.

    And arachnids rule!

  • Nothing rhymes with Kansas.

  • lol. another grEAT ONE! ill be thinking of a rhyme. the morrals the hard part.

  • So you're from Kansas,...

    Do you know Dorothy?

  • Lols what a stupid thing to say, funny though.

  • Comment removed

  • "Snow White and the Seven Apps"

    :D

    i am convinced the inside of your brain looks like a delux box of crayola crayons. sharpener and all.

  • YOU SUCK!!!

  • Once upon a time, a boy who went on an internet and stated that he was the best person in the world.

    No-one payed attention.

  • The second one wasn't a spider, it's an assassin bug. I used to catch them when I was a kid. :P They bite like hell though if you piss them off.

  • You're in Kansas and you didn't tell me? Dude.. You totally suck!

  • You've never seen a squash bug before? You need to go outside more often.

  • Haha. Your funny and you don't suck.

  • Once upon a time there was a banking clark who worked for a big crooked bailed out bank... (this story is an updated version of an older one from the 30s)

    Once upon a time there was a guy in a computer help forum who advised every user the solution to their problem was to hit f4

    Once upon a time there was a Technical support guy who couldnt speak English

    Once upon a time there was a stinky little guttersnipe who ate viruses & worms then spat them out in his e-mails behind an anonymous proxy

  • The spider says you suck ;)

  • YOU SUCK.

    xD .

  • I m on roll - I hear you. So if I suck you better tell me mex-animals

  • I had a similar assignment in high school, I redid Rumplestiltskin as Hustlewithapimpstick, I got an A.

  • How about a story called the day the modem died?

  • You're not in Dorothy any more Azreinoch...

  • NO Kansas! I meant Kansas!!

  • ...I lol'd...

  • "Kansas is weird!"

  • I like that, on top of the video, from YouTube ads, was an ad to "Fix bad ADHD Behavior".

  • Agree completely - maybe we ought to start a 'decent humans' club - sadly, it'll be really exclusive...

  • lol great stories, now to come up with a story of the Boy Who Cried First! Excellent vid!

  • that last one wasn't even a spider it was a shield bug lol

  • Kansas is, indeed, weird. I hope to visit it sometime.

  • I absolutely love Kansas. There's no place like it. And I'm not just saying that to be funny.

  • do u live anywhere near Wichita?

  • Hey! There you are. Glad you're doing well, and still have living parents.

  • I really like what you're saying in this video but all I can think is "Good god man! What are you doing in Kansas?!"

  • Visiting my parents.

  • There's no place like home, there's no place like home, there's no place like home...

  • Are you there to meet Mannix?

  • No, I was born here.  Visiting my parents.

  • Ah. Well, have a good time.

  • I'm so on this....

  • America has crazy mutant spiders...

  • 2:44 Great License Plate motto!

  • you suck!

  • So he sniffed and

    he hacked, and he blew his door in. The first little Geek barely escaped the hungry tool, and ran as

    fast as he could back to the safety of the old cybercafe and his mother N00b.

  • and was able to watch his lastest acquisiton, Law Abiding Citizen. Presently came along a toolbar, and popped up a window, and said, "Little Geek, little Geek, let me come in."

    To which the Geek answered, "No, not by the hertz of my wifi and wii."

    "Then I'll sniff and I'll hack and through the backdoor ill get in!" said the Tool.

  • Once upon a time there was a mother N00b who lived in an old cybercafe with her three little Geeks.

    When the little geeks were old enough to be on their own, so she sent them out to seek their fortune.

    The first little Geek that went off met a Man with a bundle of video codecs, and said to him,"Please,

    Man, give me those codecs so I am able to watch the last film I downloaded through torrent"; which

    the Man did, and the little Geek installed those mofo's faster than you can say trojan horse,