Jeff Dunham - Achmed the Dead Terrorist(Part 2)

[truearwingace]

SILENCE! I KILL YOU! DIE!

[MelossakaEkkinox]

1080p

720p

480p

360p

240p

Minecraft

THIS!

[TrollinHD]

@MelossakaEkkinox lol yeah but minecraft shud b at the top its awesome

[bigtimecrush7]

I'd kill you for a klodike bar.

[Mossstar12]

Hello i am lindsay lohan.

ha ha ha

[wisemildred]

keep on doin your stuff :D

[TheAngrypenguin666]

god damn 240p hiya

[nathenmudryk]

are you kidding, i'd kill you for a klondike bar.

[BorZ06]

Pffff

[MrNoobTube420]

funny shit but awful camera man

[wolfgirl2434]

@BoxersUndies I'm sorry. It's just a lame joke. :/

[visser946]

Did you film this with a potato?

[DwawTy]

OK.Knok Knok..who's there...me I kill u ahahahahahahah

[RobloxNowNetwork]

What would you doooooOOOoo for a klondike bar? SILENCE, I KEEL YOU

[xXGoofy1RkillsXx]

I'd Kill Yhuu For A Kondaik Bar!!!!

[XstickleX]

Did you record this with a Calculator?

If not...Did you Upload it with one?

[DrCosco]

Achmed: Two jews walking into a bar,,

Jeff: No, no

Achmed: What? you don't let jews in your bar? You racist bastard!

[Lemonademouthe]

i hate the way the camra is its retarded

[AnnieLeeStone]

My favorite part is 4:27 - 4:32

[wolfgirl2434]

@dealwithitbitchez 2 sausages 1 egg 

[buddyeagle]

Bad quality, erase it.

[CHEESEDIP63]

@MegaSd2009 Hi..

[hisagi981]

lllllooooolllll

[gooldTI]

من اخمد لسانك ليس عربي إسمه محمد يا خبيث!!!سخريتك لن تدوم طويلا . انت ومن معك

[dreamcaster286296]

mr hhhhuuuuurrrrrriiiiiiiccccccaa­aaaaaannnnnnnneeeeeeeee

[kkhaa1198]

I would kill u for a klondike bar >:D

[PrincessHannah5]

ellllllllllooooooooooooooo i am linsday lohan

[wolfgirl2434]

2 priests 1 boy. xDD

2 jews 1 cent. :D

[Wizard101Awesomeness]

@wolfgirl2434 and the winner had to fight Michael Jackson! :D

[davidnfoust]

achmed is funny

[TheKayKate]

the 17 people who like this is the ugly ass virgin guys

[DopeKid174]

MR61dudeman achmed said chocolate bar

dum ass



[kyraeatsairplane]

@DopeKid174 actually he DOES say klondike (:

[Mr619dudeman]

r u kidding me id kill u for a klondike bar........

[cymoe1234]

Well then if you came outta my suitcase then how do you keep getting past security? That's easy I open the suitcase and say "ELLLOOO I AM LINDSAY LOHAN!"

[teachgates]

wow, AWESOME GRAPHICS, LOOKS LIKE HD

[glitterwings1]

jews r very kind ppl

[AlteredFantasy22]

Jeff Dunham is awesome.......the whole crew is hilarious. Jeff is a very talented man

[ExpressThaPanda]

Silence I Keel You

[94885haha]

so i guess your Muslim, i don't think so, your not Muslim, why, look on my ass it says made in china

[antiheartbreaker955]

lol this is so so soooooo funny

[onlyavampirecanlovme]

Michael jackson I love u

[99escamilla]

I love Jeff .!!!!....and achmed

[redcheck52]

i loooooooooooooooove Acmed.........coolest dead terrorist ever.........Jeff is sooooo talented

[emogrl061595]

what would you do for a klondike bar.......i keel you for klondike bar!

[Ihavemilk4u]

I get through security at the airports by saying "HELOOO. IM LINDSEY LOHANN" when they open the suit casee.

[lkros09]

this is the most funniest VIDEO ever!

[Zanitos1775]

its keel not kill :P whoever messes tht up needs to learn more bout Achmed

[TaraRox1]

Is it a nice facility? It used 2 be... New guy.... The idiot tried to practice! What did you learn from that . LOCATION LOCATION LOCATION! XD!!

[FernGully3000]

i go HELLOOOOOOOOO... i am lindsay lohaaaaaan!!! ... i made a joke! see, i can do this crap too!

[omtaa]

new guy. the idiot tried to practice. what did you learn. location location location .

[marioo730]

he-is-the beeest :D

[NuPheonix]

I think some idiot must live here.

For example look at the Washington Monument.

It looks nothing like the guy.

It look like a tribute to Bill Clinton.

[Wiggehh]

heloooo IM LINDS LOHANN!!!

[peacesign0713]

achmed is fuking hilarious

[iNtEnSeMw2gAmEr]

knock knock

whos there?

me....i killlllll u!

2

[ratgirl1111]

elloooo! i am lindsy lohan

[babydisey]

XD oh my gosh and before i heard the end bout bush i look over and there was a google ad bout bush XD

[minkleminkle]

Ok...

Knock knock

Who's there?

Me, i keel you.

(XD Mah fave part!)

[lillianclinton42]

looks more like a tribute to bill clinton!!!! freakin funny!!!!

[dudemachine12]

ahhahahah

[Vinterblomst]

Silence.........I kill you.....its soooo funny..

greetings from Denmark

[HorseyGirlRides]

how did you get through security achmed: heeloo i am lindsay lohan

[HorseyGirlRides]

Achmed: i tell another joke i can do this crap too haaaaaaaaa

Knock Knock who's there

me i kill you

[HorseyGirlRides]

Achmed: i tell another joke i can do this crap too haaaaaaaaa

[iluvrebalotz]

Knock knock!! Who's there? Me I kill you. :D very funny

[zavannahw3ikl3]

Funny shit!!!!

[nancykinzz]

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa­aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa­aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa­aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa­aaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa­aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa­aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa­aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa­aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

[warpedwiselegoman]

i am Lindsey Lohan!

[090909609]

wat do u want me to do knock knock jokes that be fine well knock knock who's there me i kill you

[090909609]

[Jeff Dunham ]f you were in my suitcase howed you get passed secerity at the airport ? {Achmed} Oh that's easy.They open the case and i go Hello I am Lindsy Lohan! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH­AHAHA

[693veronica]

SILENCE I KEEL YOU! I Love Achmed So Funny

[tanveerahmedcaesar]

this is just hilarious... and i do know ppl will see my name, and then see the comment, and then have another little chuckle!!! : )

[pandaman3001]

jerry the dead american troop, just as funny the other end of the spectrum ?

[freyadawn]

i love this shows with achmed

[CoolCats8]

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa­aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa­aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa­aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa­aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa­aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa­aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa­aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa­aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa­aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa­aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa­aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa­aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa­aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa­aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa­aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa­aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

[shaleenarox]

Silence i kill you!

[NiteHackr]

Funny video, but the volume was really low.

[155chipmunkz]

this is a hoot!

[jacobsword1]

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa­aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa­aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa­aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa­aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa­aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa­aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa­aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa­aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa­aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa­aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa­aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa­aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa­aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa­aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa­aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

[GXDfan]

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha­ha

[ILoveJesusMySavour]

"Yes yes, I did the same with two Cathlic priest, but instead I tosted in a small boy, hahaha. Yes yes and the winner had the fight Micheal Jachson!" MAN, I LOVE this guy!!!

[tyliciagorringe1234]

I LOOOVE ACHMED HE IS THE BOMB!!!! <3 <3

[psbeatty1]

this is so fucking funney

[CrystalBennett1113]

Jeff Dunham is funny as HELL. He is the funniest person in the world and if u dont like this guy. I KILL U lol just kidding

[JohnQuincyAdams1]

DougMcHead <---- Clearly has anger control issues.

[hubbabubbamumsmums]

halloooooo I'm lindsey lohan

[Themaj2112]

knock knock

whose there?

ME i kill you!

[155chipmunkz]

lol no but i saw a blue prius

[ageovlove1]

LOL this one is better than the first one......don't watch if you are easily offended! ;)

[legionare8]

if the hole world had no religion at all we would be a lot better off

[blackamobea2]

can we just not fight? i don't see the point of it. its stupid to. i think we should just forget it. like Achmed, he died. we all are going to. i say live your life to the fullest that you can and have no regrets.

[LongArmProductions]

some times i forget it the guy talkin

[berkazu]

No life idiots talking about religion the funniest part is that all the religions are just an imagination there is no such thing as god or allah but it's science ^^ hella funny vid btw

[legionare8]

yes some one that thinks like me its all a load of made up crap i mean look at the catholics old puffs in skirts

[hulkyteen]

i set the timer for 30 minutes but it went of in 4 seconds. hilarious.

[eliasfamily5]

I ROFl everytime i watch this video. Lol. Since in arab. People in skool are calling me achmed the dead terrorist. Lol haha.

[eliasfamily5]

0:13 is the funniest part lol

[XxShadowPWNSyouxX]

ok knock knock..

whos there?

me.. i kill you

[electriczoom6000]

@XxShadowPWNSyouxX lol im gonna use that im gonna make that joke famous

[XxShadowPWNSyouxX]

@electriczoom6000 Jeff Dunham already has ;)

[pinkpegasus98]

achmed is so hilarious!

Silence!

I kill you!

[155chipmunkz]

achmed is my all-time favorite character on this show, which is kind of weird considering i'm scared of skeletons. but this guys pwns all!

[hmsalyers]

@pinkpegasus98 its i keel u his brother says silence i screw u!

[sumbawabesar]

only JEWS and XTIAN insult MUSLIMS

MUSLIMS NEVER insult moses or jesus, we even say PBUH : PEACE BE UPON HIM, showing respect.

this shows really shows who retard and educated is, while U CANT NEVER STOP the growing of ISLAM

ALLAHU AKBAR !!

[mrpennyo]

Then you are not a Muslim. Muslims do more than insults to Christians and Jews. They kill the unbelievers, especially Jews and Christians. Islam is the cancer of the world. Islam is the disease of the world. Where do you think Jeff Dunham got his ideas from? You are fighting the wrong people here. Go to Saudia Arabia and teach them how to love and respect instead of hate and killing the unbelievers.

[DougMcHead]

So your saying only Islam has religious extremists? Don't Christian right wingers kill abortion doctors because they don't believe the same as they do? Weren't the Jews at least partly responsible for killing Jesus? You can't group a whole religion together with the people that take it to the extreme that just makes you hateful and ignorant.

[mrpennyo]

So you blame Jews killing Jesus. How about the fact that Islam in the last 1400 years have killed over 170 million Jews? How come Muslims dont claim responsibility for that? Dont tell me what I cant do with the whole religion without knowing me first. I used to be a Muslim and I know about Islam. Calling me ignorant and hateful before knowing me makes you a hypocrite. Islam almost ruined my life. Islam is the disease and the cancer of the world. mohammed was the true devil who killed and raped.

[DougMcHead]

See your stil being hateful and your still ignoring the fact that over the course of time every religion has committed atrocious acts. What about the early American Puritans the persecuted people for witchcraft without proof? What about how Hitler killed 6 million Jews, and all races he deemed unworthy? I am not siding with Islam specifically I am only saying that you have a biased view of it and your spreading hateful poison like it is going to help end it in any way.

[mrpennyo]

Hitler was only evil for 5 months. And dont worry about Hitler, it was the Christians that stopped him. Islam did nothing to stop him. Hitler lasted 5 months but Islam is over 1400 years and counting. I am not spreading hate. I am exposing Islam. I dont know anything about Christianity but Jesus never encouraged his followers to kill. Islam's prophet before his death said those who dont believe in me and Allah should be killed. Stop accusing me of hate when I dont hate anyone but Islam.

[NoGreenBottles]

ha chill man a religion is gust a set of guide lines for whats good and whats not you not met to follow the violent bits, it's not to be taken as the whole truth, if it was all Christians would be confused as there a bit of the bible that contradicts its self, 1 bit says an eye for an eye a tooth for a tooth and another says forgive others for what they have done.... so all religion has been built for some le-way for leaders to allow for war and to prevent war when it suits its leaders...

[JohnQuincyAdams1]

@NoGreenBottles - The Old Testament was written by man, whereas the New Testament were commandments directly from God/Jesus. There's a huge difference.

[NoGreenBottles]

Religion cant have ruined your life only you can do that with bad decisions trust me i no Ive bean there only a weak person blames a religion and uses another as a crutch (.... ho and Hitler was around for more than 5 months more like years).

[mrpennyo]

I never said religion ruined my life. I said Islam almost ruined my life. Oh you probably thinking Islam is a religion. If you really think that then you are not a real Muslim. And I can prove it. By the way, Hitler killed 6 million Jews. But dont forget to mention that Islam killed 170 million Jews in the past 1400+ years.

[DougMcHead]

@mrpennyo How am I accusing you of hate when you clearly stated you hate an entire religion of people? Hitler was actually evil for most of his adult life and he died as a middle aged man. 5 months lol that's rich. next thing we know you will be saying it wasn't is fault that over 6 million jews died. He didn't know what was going on right? he just wanted to untie his people blah blah blah stfu

[mrpennyo]

@DougMcHead What does entire religion of people means? I never said such thing. I said I hate Islam because I love humanity. I used to be a Muslim and fully understand the Islamic religion. I know you have difficulty understanding that as many Muslims do. Let me help you so you dont get confused. I hated my religion that we call Islam. It does not mean I hate Muslims. Let me know if you need more explanation and clarifications. Islam is the cancer and the disease of the world. No Islam no Terror

[JohnQuincyAdams1]

@DougMcHead - Religion has committed atrocious acts? No, PEOPLE have committed atrocious acts, not religion.

[DougMcHead]

@JohnQuincyAdams1 You obviously don't read comments very well before you reply to them. in the future you might want to make sure you know what your replying to.

[mrpennyo]

@DougMcHead I also know that there are good Muslims and bad Muslims. I also know you can not judge the behavior of some Muslims on Islam. Let me tell you, so then who are the real Muslims that do represent Islam? Because I know Islam inside out and had the Quran memorized since I was 14, it is those who commit terror are the real Muslims. All the suicide bombers are the real Muslims. Osama bin Ladin is a real Muslim. Those who kill non Muslims are the real Muslims. They follow the duty of Islam.

[JohnQuincyAdams1]

@DougMcHead - Someone who kills someone else, (as in the abortion, "doctor", you mentioned), is NOT a Christian, but just an evil nutcase. If you were a Christian, you'd know this.

[DougMcHead]

@JohnQuincyAdams1 you misunderstood what I wrote. I was just making a point that every religion has people that get extreme and go way over the top of what is socially and religiously acceptable. I was only illustrating this because people are so disillusioned to believe their religion isn't capable of producing crazies. Please make sure you understand what someone writes before you try to blast what they say.

[sweetstuff081]

ahahah! i like achmed....but peanut is better

[girlwhoisweird]

my teacher introduced us to achmed in class! coolest teacher ever

[PuNkStErPK]

achmed is awesome plz bring new vids

[nema303]

u need to shut the crap up man!!!!!!!!!!!!

[riehlefaith]

haha i jus found out bout achmed he is funny!!my class likes it to ... and my cat :)........ buut now ... silence ... I KILL U

[fridey321]

this quiltiy sucks my balls

[xx20samy11xx]

ooo i love bush...OOO U MEAN THE PRESIDENT!!!! lol

[benstoker]

i have just found out about achmed it is real funny!!

[IvyMcCullen]

same here he is so funny

[BluesSimi]

thats quite bad quility i like ur other better

[jonasvampire90]

love achmed

[marcus13800]

silence i fuck you!!!

[reneemmonkey]

this is funny

"so achmed, where have u been? in ur fricken suit case. "so, how did u get threw security? they open the suit case and i say "alllloooo i am lindsey lohan!

[Mada234boyroblox]

Achmed:Nack nack Jeff Dunham:whos there

Achmed:me i kill you

very funny!!!

[adjordnrob]

Allllooooooo I am Linsey Lohan !!!!

[mrlocito92]

loooool

i laughed so haaard at this one xDxD

[happygurl37]

i did the same thing with two catholic preests ecept i tossed in a small boy, and the winner had to fight micheal jackson

XD lolllolololol

[ellemenopyrox]

wat you won't let jews in your bar? you racist bastard!

[EMMARADLEY19]

what u dont let jews in your in your bar?? you racsist basturrrrred! hahaha i wet myself

if you think achmed rocks, copy and paste this!

[fatjoeb9]

shut up u avent you seen the news lately wat hapened 2 Gaza n its ppl ansa dat

[lauriloll]

knock-knock. Who's there ? me, i kill you! :D:D

[marchinbndgeek25]

'ello! I am Lindsey Lohan! XD

[chasemorris123]

my sister thinks jose jalepeno on a stick is a mexican hunk

hahaha

[angelafour]

SILENCE....... I KILL YOU!

So funny.

[dholifann]

SILENCE....I KILLLL YOU!!!

[xXxBaTTyxXx2]

Hilarious I KILL YOU!

[dargonzilla]

what a comedy!!! hahahahahahahahah!!!....

VERY FUNNY!!!!!

[cooldbloodedkiller66]

u racsist basturd hahahahahahaha this shit is funny

[ionlyneed3wishes]

" i saw flying car parts." whats the last thing that went through your head? " my ass!!" lol!!!

[paigeere101]

fukin hilarious haha...i kill you

[michiganlax15]

best one yet

[zabrakk]

der kha

[kitkatsx]

hellooooooooooooo i am linsy lohan

[phylicia2]

i kill you

[bb900617za]

I KILLLL YOUUU this is really good.

[pleeklee34]

that guy is so funny

[pleeklee34]

that guy is so funny

[shahry44]

i went to this

[PunkWay88]

I KILL YOU..sorry I´m kidding :-D I love this

[LJAY1313]

I love this so funny

[Joseph3666]

hello i'm lindsey lohan xD

[punkydonkey]

roflcopter

Sophii

xoxo

[XxBurningfasteRxX]

Achmed ROX MY SOX xD

[AndrewsSecurity]

P.S: I think he may also be clinically insane!! hehehe.. but that just add's to the humour!!  hahahahahahaha

[AndrewsSecurity]

I don't care what ANYONE says.. Jeff Dunham is a comedy legend!!! I haven't laughed this hard in years.. very well made and VERY well performed.. I think a big thanx is due to everyone who has posted JD's videos on this site!!! "I KILL YOU!!" hahahahahahaha

[LivinaFantasy]

Ok, here's another one. Two jews walking in bar...

no, no...

what?

no.

what? you don't let jews in your bar? you racist bastard!!

[s7a7g7a7r]

dunham-"so what do u think of bush?"

achmed-"Oh i love bu- Oh u mean the president,I'm sorry."

ROFL!!hahah

[pacerled]

SILENCE!!!I KILL YOU

[TheTrueAnimal]

this is high def. people!

lol jk dunham rocks

[ekim22295]

Rofl the winner vs. micheal jackson

[MayorMcCheese11]

So Achmed how do you get through security?

I jump out and say helllooooooooo I am linsey lohan

[driverx40]

omg its lindsey lohan not linsey :)

[louistjvv]

omg, it's LindsAy Lohan, not Lindsey! Don't make stupid comments if you can't get it right! :)