Some stirring words, but when you don't use the words "lesbian, gay, bisexual, queer, transgender," etc. in the context of this project, you are also contributing to the invisibility that leads gay youth to despair. Yes, there are more issues shared here with general bullying, the point of this project is to reach out to gay youth.
"People out there who are having a hard time," you say. But by not naming them, you confirm their fear that even the word gay is not to be spoken.
@amylNRG The beauty about the It Gets Better Project is that anybody can say in their own words their feelings on the subject. Just because the message didn't speak to you, doesn't mean it doesn't to others. We don't need each of the 5000 plus videos to be all the same. Be a little more diverse in your thoughts before you attack somebody who took the time to speak up for this cause.
Oh, grow up! The whole point is that she *didn't* speak up for this cause, she spoke up against bullying. "It Gets Better" is about giving young LGBT people images of hope to get them through tough times. One of the worst things that LGBT teens have to deal with is social pressure, and this video adds to that pressure by not even having the courage to address them directly. "It Gets Better" is being hijacked by the "Anti-Bullying" movement, but they, and you, are missing the point.
I'm attacking this video because, by failing to explicitly address LGBT teens, it is sending the message "being LGBT is so bad I can't even bring myself to mention it". This is a highly corrosive message. We all disapprove of bullying, but there are plenty of other outlets for that message. "It Gets Better" is for something different. This video damages the project.
It's about being inclusive. I assumed the LGBT movement was all for that, but apparently you happen to disagree for fears of having the movement be "hijacked."
Bullying affects everyone, especially gay teens in this day and age, but that doesn't mean you cannot refer to the general issue.
I've made my point already, but to make it clearer: the "It Gets Better" project was aimed at LGBT teens. Turning it into a general anti-bullying project weakens the strength of its message.
I'm not going to waste any more time on this with you: it's obvious from your choice of nickname that you're not a serious person, or particularly worthy of my time.
Yeah, I guess--too bad you are not privy to Hudson Soft's idea of fun. A humorless self-centered person certainly has it within his rights to belittle someone's potential for discussion.Though by any means, do have a nice life.
@amylNRG Please, we are all friendlies here, so let's be friendly?
Besides the specific cause this project was created for, building towards tolerance and understanding is a major part of that right? I understand why some people may be upset that the specific terms were not used and worry that this may take away from the project but I don't think it's any deliberate negligence or fear on the person's part.
@Roamnfarther8 I know, personally, that I saw this video first, and watched more videos from the project afterward because the overall message made me think, and I became more interested and more aware of the cause it was built for rather than shutting the door. So it opened up the message up for me rather than weakening it. Just offering another perspective on it. :)
Wrong. "Building towards tolerance and understanding" is not what "It Gets Better" is about. Whilst that's a desirable side-effect, the project exists specifically to send a clear message to LGBT teens. The message is this:
"Your life right now may be tough, perhaps because the society you live in deprecates or marginalizes or trivializes you and the way you feel, or perhaps because you're bullied, or perhaps for religious reasons, but keep going, and your life will get better."
Many people just don't get it: this is NOT an anti-bullying initiative, it's here to address LGBT teens. The aim is to say "Yes, you're gay/lesbian/transgender, and life is tough because of corrosive social attitudes that claim you're worth less than straight people, but you can be strong enough to endure this." When Mary McDonnell can't even bring herself to say the word "gay", she's part of the problem, because she is implicitly saying "gay is so bad I can't even bear to mention it".
@amylNRG I'm not saying that you have the right to your worries (but please, don't attack the people trying to help even if they are not saying it the way you may prefer them to say the message) and opinion, but I'm just offering another perspective in that, part of the idea that "it get's better" is that you also have to address outside the "you" to the people around the LGBT community. Stimulating change, I think requires that the societal construct behind the marginalization - cont.
@Roamnfarther8 has to be changed in ORDER to make it better. By telling the LGBT community to "tough it out" also has troubling implications for those who may not be able to be "strong" individually. It's not simply about life is hard - work your way through it, but also encouragement from different people that you have their support. I can see why some may be upset at the lack of direct address (but if you've seen other interviews with Ms. McDonnell, she's been open with her language before)...
@Roamnfarther8 has to be changed in ORDER to make it better. By telling the LGBT community to "tough it out" also has troubling implications for those who may not be able to be "strong" individually. It's not simply about life is hard - work your way through it, but also encouragement from different people that you have their support. I can see why some may be upset at the lack of direct address (but if you've seen other interviews with Ms. McDonnell, she's been open with her language before)...
@Roamnfarther8 I'd just like to believe that the project as a whole is expansive rather than limited, for the sake of myself personally and my friends in the LGBT community, that "identifying" with the overall issue doesn't come simply down to the terms generally used but the personal attachments to real people around you, and that this message and project should be able to reach not only the ones "marginalized or trivialized" but the people around them as well and MAKE them reach out too.
@Roamnfarther8 Sorry for being so long-winded. :) Agree or disagree, I'd just like to keep the discussion as positive as possible because the goal of this project is supposed to be positive. Have a good day!
I absolutely disagree with your position, and with your interpretation of the "It Gets Better" project. First, let me say that I did not suggest that the gay community "tough it out": what I did say was that individuals in tough situations should receive the clear message "keep going, and your life will get better". This is a very different message, and your misinterpretation of what I said is due largely to the fact that you don't appear to understand the context here. .....
"Toughing it out" is something you can do with "bullying": you can stand up for yourself, enlist allies, and take a public position opposed to bullying you face. But this isn't what most LGBT teens face: some may be overtly bullied, but what most face is the far more insidious problem of social attitudes. This is one of those areas where, if you're not part of the solution, you really are part of the problem. Let me be explicit: you, personally, Roamnfarther8, are part of the problem.
You are part of the problem because you, like many others, continue to deprecate the idea that there is a specific issue and state of mind, and a specific problem, endured only by LGBT people. You continue to think that the "It Gets Better" project should adopt an expansive stance: you speak of "stimulating change", and reaching out beyond the gay, lesbian and trans communities. This completely misses the point: you're simply saying "if only we were all nicer, things would get better".
You're doing exactly what Mary McDonnell is doing, but in a more subtle, broad-mindedly liberal way: each time you say "here's what you LGBT people should be doing", you're joining the eternal chorus that says to LGBT people "you're wrong in what you feel, you should do things our way". I know it's difficult for you to see this, but what this project is about is LGBT people validating how many LGBT teens feel. The message is "we've felt what you feel, and life got better for us".
You're doing exactly what Mary McDonnell is doing, but in a more subtle, broad mindedly liberal way: each time you say "here's what you LGBT people should be doing", you're joining the eternal chorus that says to LGBT people "you're wrong in what you feel, you should do things our way". I know it's difficult for you to see this, but what this project is about is LGBT people validating how many LGBT teens feel. The message is "we've felt what you feel, and life got better for us".
Each time someone who isn't LGBT tries to change the project, they are missing the point. You say "for the sake of myself personally" you'd like the project to "reach not only [LGBT teens] but the people around them as well". Fair enough, those are your feelings. But THE PROJECT ISN'T ABOUT YOU, it's about LGBT teens. This is not here for other people's agendas, however worthy. It's here to help LGBT teens manage feelings arising from the social and other pressures they face.
LGBT people do not need to be given the message that you are advancing, which has the emotional impact, bluntly put, of "you shouldn't be feeling like this, it's your own fault for not changing society according to the instructions I'll now enunciate". What this project wants to say is something else: "your bad feelings are real, but they're not your fault, and other people who've felt like you have gone on to be happier". Respect that message, don't add your own.
@amylNRG I believe we can just agree to disagree on certain points, but perhaps I have miscommunicated certain parts of what I believe about the project. This: "your bad feelings are real, but they're not your fault, and other people who've felt like you have gone on to be happier" is something I completely agree with, and maybe I misread your message earlier, and I apologize. When I said, I personally, I didn't mean to hijack this project's message as my own, but merely trying to communicate...
@Roamnfarther8 some of my own perspective on it. I don't think that it's the perspective of the whole project or even of many of the people involved, just my own feelings, and my own background and experiences, in my case, of ethnic pressures on views of both my and other people's sexuality as well as encountered types of subtle and overt verbal pressuring/abuse.
However, thank you for explaining your POV further to me. All the best.
Love, love, LOVE HER! Was such an honor and thrill to stand on stage with her at The Laramie Project. She feels and understands so completely the insanity that we deal with everyday and always comes from a place of authenticity and love.
So say we all!
SternMann93 6 months ago
Thanks Mary!
onyxman8 7 months ago
SO SAY WE ALL!!!!
iamthepip 7 months ago 2
Mazal Tov Mary McDonnell!
dsperlin 10 months ago
Comment removed
rubberguard83 1 year ago
This was a wonderful message, and thank you Ms. McDonnell for taking part in this project. :)
Roamnfarther8 1 year ago
Oh my God, Mary McDonnell is sooo great. And I absolutely agree with her opinion about "bullying".
sandrahertzke 1 year ago 15
So say we all
TheLogicalGod 1 year ago 2
This has been flagged as spam show
So say we all!
schmod 1 year ago 4
Love you Mary!
arkhangel78 1 year ago
Some stirring words, but when you don't use the words "lesbian, gay, bisexual, queer, transgender," etc. in the context of this project, you are also contributing to the invisibility that leads gay youth to despair. Yes, there are more issues shared here with general bullying, the point of this project is to reach out to gay youth.
"People out there who are having a hard time," you say. But by not naming them, you confirm their fear that even the word gay is not to be spoken.
rabbitfish63 1 year ago
@rabbitfish63
Absolutely agree. The "It Gets Better" project is in grave danger of losing sight of its original aims.
amylNRG 1 year ago
@amylNRG The beauty about the It Gets Better Project is that anybody can say in their own words their feelings on the subject. Just because the message didn't speak to you, doesn't mean it doesn't to others. We don't need each of the 5000 plus videos to be all the same. Be a little more diverse in your thoughts before you attack somebody who took the time to speak up for this cause.
katfam 1 year ago
@katfam
Oh, grow up! The whole point is that she *didn't* speak up for this cause, she spoke up against bullying. "It Gets Better" is about giving young LGBT people images of hope to get them through tough times. One of the worst things that LGBT teens have to deal with is social pressure, and this video adds to that pressure by not even having the courage to address them directly. "It Gets Better" is being hijacked by the "Anti-Bullying" movement, but they, and you, are missing the point.
amylNRG 1 year ago
@amylNRG
I'm attacking this video because, by failing to explicitly address LGBT teens, it is sending the message "being LGBT is so bad I can't even bring myself to mention it". This is a highly corrosive message. We all disapprove of bullying, but there are plenty of other outlets for that message. "It Gets Better" is for something different. This video damages the project.
amylNRG 1 year ago
@amylNRG
It's about being inclusive. I assumed the LGBT movement was all for that, but apparently you happen to disagree for fears of having the movement be "hijacked."
Bullying affects everyone, especially gay teens in this day and age, but that doesn't mean you cannot refer to the general issue.
unabomberman 1 year ago
@unabomberman
I've made my point already, but to make it clearer: the "It Gets Better" project was aimed at LGBT teens. Turning it into a general anti-bullying project weakens the strength of its message.
I'm not going to waste any more time on this with you: it's obvious from your choice of nickname that you're not a serious person, or particularly worthy of my time.
amylNRG 1 year ago
@amylNRG
Yeah, I guess--too bad you are not privy to Hudson Soft's idea of fun. A humorless self-centered person certainly has it within his rights to belittle someone's potential for discussion.Though by any means, do have a nice life.
Good luck to you.
unabomberman 1 year ago
Comment removed
Roamnfarther8 1 year ago
@amylNRG Please, we are all friendlies here, so let's be friendly?
Besides the specific cause this project was created for, building towards tolerance and understanding is a major part of that right? I understand why some people may be upset that the specific terms were not used and worry that this may take away from the project but I don't think it's any deliberate negligence or fear on the person's part.
Roamnfarther8 1 year ago
@Roamnfarther8 I know, personally, that I saw this video first, and watched more videos from the project afterward because the overall message made me think, and I became more interested and more aware of the cause it was built for rather than shutting the door. So it opened up the message up for me rather than weakening it. Just offering another perspective on it. :)
Best wishes to everyone!
Roamnfarther8 1 year ago
@Roamnfarther8
Wrong. "Building towards tolerance and understanding" is not what "It Gets Better" is about. Whilst that's a desirable side-effect, the project exists specifically to send a clear message to LGBT teens. The message is this:
"Your life right now may be tough, perhaps because the society you live in deprecates or marginalizes or trivializes you and the way you feel, or perhaps because you're bullied, or perhaps for religious reasons, but keep going, and your life will get better."
amylNRG 1 year ago
@amylNRG
Many people just don't get it: this is NOT an anti-bullying initiative, it's here to address LGBT teens. The aim is to say "Yes, you're gay/lesbian/transgender, and life is tough because of corrosive social attitudes that claim you're worth less than straight people, but you can be strong enough to endure this." When Mary McDonnell can't even bring herself to say the word "gay", she's part of the problem, because she is implicitly saying "gay is so bad I can't even bear to mention it".
amylNRG 1 year ago
@amylNRG I'm not saying that you have the right to your worries (but please, don't attack the people trying to help even if they are not saying it the way you may prefer them to say the message) and opinion, but I'm just offering another perspective in that, part of the idea that "it get's better" is that you also have to address outside the "you" to the people around the LGBT community. Stimulating change, I think requires that the societal construct behind the marginalization - cont.
Roamnfarther8 1 year ago
@Roamnfarther8 has to be changed in ORDER to make it better. By telling the LGBT community to "tough it out" also has troubling implications for those who may not be able to be "strong" individually. It's not simply about life is hard - work your way through it, but also encouragement from different people that you have their support. I can see why some may be upset at the lack of direct address (but if you've seen other interviews with Ms. McDonnell, she's been open with her language before)...
Roamnfarther8 1 year ago
@Roamnfarther8 has to be changed in ORDER to make it better. By telling the LGBT community to "tough it out" also has troubling implications for those who may not be able to be "strong" individually. It's not simply about life is hard - work your way through it, but also encouragement from different people that you have their support. I can see why some may be upset at the lack of direct address (but if you've seen other interviews with Ms. McDonnell, she's been open with her language before)...
Roamnfarther8 1 year ago
@Roamnfarther8 I'd just like to believe that the project as a whole is expansive rather than limited, for the sake of myself personally and my friends in the LGBT community, that "identifying" with the overall issue doesn't come simply down to the terms generally used but the personal attachments to real people around you, and that this message and project should be able to reach not only the ones "marginalized or trivialized" but the people around them as well and MAKE them reach out too.
Roamnfarther8 1 year ago
@Roamnfarther8 Sorry for being so long-winded. :) Agree or disagree, I'd just like to keep the discussion as positive as possible because the goal of this project is supposed to be positive. Have a good day!
Roamnfarther8 1 year ago
@Roamnfarther8
I absolutely disagree with your position, and with your interpretation of the "It Gets Better" project. First, let me say that I did not suggest that the gay community "tough it out": what I did say was that individuals in tough situations should receive the clear message "keep going, and your life will get better". This is a very different message, and your misinterpretation of what I said is due largely to the fact that you don't appear to understand the context here. .....
amylNRG 1 year ago
@amylNRG
"Toughing it out" is something you can do with "bullying": you can stand up for yourself, enlist allies, and take a public position opposed to bullying you face. But this isn't what most LGBT teens face: some may be overtly bullied, but what most face is the far more insidious problem of social attitudes. This is one of those areas where, if you're not part of the solution, you really are part of the problem. Let me be explicit: you, personally, Roamnfarther8, are part of the problem.
amylNRG 1 year ago
@amylNRG
You are part of the problem because you, like many others, continue to deprecate the idea that there is a specific issue and state of mind, and a specific problem, endured only by LGBT people. You continue to think that the "It Gets Better" project should adopt an expansive stance: you speak of "stimulating change", and reaching out beyond the gay, lesbian and trans communities. This completely misses the point: you're simply saying "if only we were all nicer, things would get better".
amylNRG 1 year ago
@amylNRG
You're doing exactly what Mary McDonnell is doing, but in a more subtle, broad-mindedly liberal way: each time you say "here's what you LGBT people should be doing", you're joining the eternal chorus that says to LGBT people "you're wrong in what you feel, you should do things our way". I know it's difficult for you to see this, but what this project is about is LGBT people validating how many LGBT teens feel. The message is "we've felt what you feel, and life got better for us".
amylNRG 1 year ago
This has been flagged as spam show
@amylNRG
You're doing exactly what Mary McDonnell is doing, but in a more subtle, broad mindedly liberal way: each time you say "here's what you LGBT people should be doing", you're joining the eternal chorus that says to LGBT people "you're wrong in what you feel, you should do things our way". I know it's difficult for you to see this, but what this project is about is LGBT people validating how many LGBT teens feel. The message is "we've felt what you feel, and life got better for us".
amylNRG 1 year ago
@amylNRG
Each time someone who isn't LGBT tries to change the project, they are missing the point. You say "for the sake of myself personally" you'd like the project to "reach not only [LGBT teens] but the people around them as well". Fair enough, those are your feelings. But THE PROJECT ISN'T ABOUT YOU, it's about LGBT teens. This is not here for other people's agendas, however worthy. It's here to help LGBT teens manage feelings arising from the social and other pressures they face.
amylNRG 1 year ago
@amylNRG
LGBT people do not need to be given the message that you are advancing, which has the emotional impact, bluntly put, of "you shouldn't be feeling like this, it's your own fault for not changing society according to the instructions I'll now enunciate". What this project wants to say is something else: "your bad feelings are real, but they're not your fault, and other people who've felt like you have gone on to be happier". Respect that message, don't add your own.
amylNRG 1 year ago
@amylNRG I believe we can just agree to disagree on certain points, but perhaps I have miscommunicated certain parts of what I believe about the project. This: "your bad feelings are real, but they're not your fault, and other people who've felt like you have gone on to be happier" is something I completely agree with, and maybe I misread your message earlier, and I apologize. When I said, I personally, I didn't mean to hijack this project's message as my own, but merely trying to communicate...
Roamnfarther8 1 year ago
@Roamnfarther8 some of my own perspective on it. I don't think that it's the perspective of the whole project or even of many of the people involved, just my own feelings, and my own background and experiences, in my case, of ethnic pressures on views of both my and other people's sexuality as well as encountered types of subtle and overt verbal pressuring/abuse.
However, thank you for explaining your POV further to me. All the best.
Roamnfarther8 1 year ago
My hero! Love her!
Boobtoob2 1 year ago
Big love to everyone who supports this, including Mary McDonnell for her warm, compassionate message. *hearts*
Scullymouse 1 year ago 12
Love, love, LOVE HER! Was such an honor and thrill to stand on stage with her at The Laramie Project. She feels and understands so completely the insanity that we deal with everyday and always comes from a place of authenticity and love.
leestickler 1 year ago 3
@leestickler You appeared on stage with her? How wonderful! I'd love to see her on stage
firefliesuk 1 year ago
@leestickler Wish I knew her better and was a fan of BSG back then like I am now. She added so much to "The Laramie Project" epilogue.
fiveoctaves 1 year ago
I love this! Thank you Mary....
2MuchTV1 1 year ago
Mary thank you for your wonderful message. It was inspiring and heartfelt. You do make a difference.
beautifullife787 1 year ago
A message that we should all listen to. From a great spokesperson. Hats off to the *It gets better project* and Mary McDonnell for getting involved.
Firstlady1408 1 year ago
She's a beautiful soul both inside and out. Such an important message and so well said...
firefliesuk 1 year ago 2
So Say We All!
TheMissMeggles 1 year ago 3
Inspired by her every day! Thank you, Mary!
princessnerfherder 1 year ago 2
Great project! Hats off to Mary McDonnell for getting involved.
pennyfeline 1 year ago
Think my hear skipped a couple of beats..
PhalangesDancing 1 year ago
my sweetie :)))) <3 Love her !!!!! very much :)
maryliciousGirl 1 year ago