I Dont Want to go to Burnley - John Cooper Clarke

[lewisbfc94]

despite how much I love John Cooper Clarke, he doesn't even know what burnley is like. to all of you claiming to have been to burnley, the bad places around the town centre are where you have most probably been, which is a shithole. however away from the centre, it's actually quite nice. Just saying.

[lewisbfc94]

despite how much I love john cooper clarke, he has no idea what burnley is

[WhoIsBaz]

Ha ha! He mentions Batley. I've seen him twice and I didn't notice his saying it then.

Now there is a town that doesn't get much publicity.

[thelevinian61]

burnley is lancashires shametown.bnp shithole fucking chickentown.

[3rk4u]

just to put all u manc haters right john cooper clarks frm salford,a seperate city to mcr.

[illastate111]

haha interbred burnley scum! yah dingle bastards!

[simonburnley]

Look. This talentless, beer-swilling city puff has probably never even been to Burnley. Evidence of this fact is that he still seems to be breathing and if he'd been here and been manly enough to tell us fact-to-face what he thinks of us, he would have only got out in a six foot wooden box.

Now, France on the other hand. That's a whole country that deserves this kind of bile. The place and the people - awful. Them Yanks wasted a perfectly good bomb on Hiroshima - should have been Paris.....

[Analclingons]

Burnley is possibly the worst town i've ever had the misfortune of visiting. I was born and raised in some pretty rough areas in Manchester but absolutely nothing there compares to Burnley. Row after row of smashed, delapidated terraced houses, like a time warp back to a 1949 Hovis bread advert - each one full of people with possibly the worst appearances & teeth in the whole of the UK - Really, brush you're fucking teeth once in a while (Though this really is the least of Burnley's problems.)

[WhoIsBaz]

@Analclingons It's nicer than Nelson.

[curiosofsigns]

@WhoIsBaz I'm from Nelson but I escaped and I'm in London now. I totally agree. When I was a kid a visit to Burnley was like visiting El Dorado. Also, JCC missed a trick with the Nelson / Belsen rhyme.

[simonburnley]

oi you. You Manc knob. Come to Burnley if you dare. Hit one of us and we all bleed. You'll never get out in one piece. This is where proper men live, not poncy city tarts whose only experience of graft is lifting their Giro off the door mat.

[MegaGav11]

@simonburnley come to yorkshire son we'll show you inbread cunts whats what

[MrMDC01]

@simonburnley BLOB TOWN

[Chimpfinga]

Manc cunt.....burnley and what?????

[jnmklo9]

Sternly rhymes with burnley

[siouzsie]

I know how he feels

[DavidGarlandJones]

John Cooper Clarke turns up in a David Garland Jones video (0:49)

'Online comic genius from Wales'

David Garland Jones

Actor. Guru. Raconetur. Poet.

No budget. No contacts. No hope.

Hope you enjoy!

[dave2806]

my wife was from burnley , which was a step up from the east end of london !

[MartinJWillett]

Did you here about the gas explosion in Blackburn last week? Three streets wiped off the map. First estimates suggest it caused as much as three thousand pounds worth of improvements.

[alanstarkie2001]

I used to live in Colne in the mid 1960s. Occasionally, a car drove through...

[SuperIanrush]

its out full o pakis

[turfmoormonkey]

I love Burnley

[shabzbad]

Yeh u don't wanna come

To

These places coz u get murderd we challenge u to come come come see us pk a town u jus said an we be there come on pussy

[pheasantplucker1]

fantastic, i know all them shitholes,

[MrForestmad09]

'couldnt think of another town that would rhyme with that name' lmao

[Teasle586]

what about Keswick?

[burnley5960]

i love the Town always have done always will do i have been all over and no where but no where has the feel of our town for all its problems

[penrhyndeundraeth]

Oh Bernie Lee is wonderful

Oh Bernie Lee is wonderful

[UltimateVenom]

i'm from preston, live in manchester, and me mam lives in burnley, it's fooking horrible. well nelson and colne is.

[H67nelson]

what a total  T W A T

[tommyrotter]

Rap " artists" should be forced to listen to this - then shot.

[ObiJoe808]

KEIGHLEY!

[LazerNo1]

hahaha. A True Punk Legend!!!

[PaulDavidDunn]

Its dead good this.

[FCHardcore]

fucking genius!

[curiosofsigns]

I was born in Burnley. It's better than Nelson. Which rhymes with Belsen.

[jahooey123]

@curiosofsigns true. nelson, is the lowest, seriously.

[Martinprg]

si lla los as leido copia y pega esto en 5 videos mas o tu madre morirá en 3 dias, hacedlo por fabor mi a mi amigo le paso, yo lo e hecho pa que no me pase, por fabor acedme caso. esto es una maldicioooooo

[chaimke7]

just checking. it referes to someone you feel sorry for . How do you know yiddish in Reddish is my real interest . do you think JCC is Jewish

[FCHardcore]

i was born in burnley. love JCC!

[Readingcoops]

@brack909. It's an historical thing involving Edgeley Park and knuckle dragging thugs.

[burnzgotshot]

I live in reddish and it is full of nebbishes

[chaimke7]

@burnzgotshot do you know what a nebish is

[burnzgotshot]

@chaimke7 It means an idiot, I think its a yiddish word but I aint sure.

[DoWhatYouLove1]

JCC is the best poet on the globe, check out a similar Australian genre (not copy) Allan Dumbleton. Let me know what you think.

[magiclard]

Burnleys alright jus tgot to pick the right area to live in-I loved it and was sad to leave. Still got mates up there, You meet Burnleyites all over as well wherever yo ugo theyre there, Quality people.

[longside100]

my word wat a wanker........................­.

[Readingcoops]

But I come from Gatley. It were alright in the 70's.

Have to say I do hate burnley though.

[brack909]

@Readingcoops I live in Burnley and study karate in Gatley. Please advise as to why you "hate" Burnley.

[pixiewilson42]

This is in ref to the cretan Lordbike Bike shed [joined YT in 2006 no friends ] lol...yes I am going to "fuck off out out of here" as you so eloquently state in your comment..I intend to this year actually,just think I'll be living somewhere cool+you'll be stuck with a pile of scallies in tracksuits..lol...I rest my case your honour..no brains hey,shame

[fr33atesickz]

the end is so cool hahaha

[Authoriseddealer]

I like burnley,some good pubs there.

[jamierourketen]

full of fucking muslims

[chaimke7]

what is a nebish

[HYDROPODSBOD]

..good boozers crap voters

[whocares44044]

top bloke asked him to do me a poem and done one on the spot on the back of my ticket still got it a peice of history

[WELLBRAN]

John Cooper Clarke a very nice bloke emt him by accident before one of his shows a few years ago, a true Gent. Lovely bloke, and very clever and funny on stage after all these years.

[DG3744]

what does he mean? what is wrost manchester or burnley?

[KuNGFoOCHaRLiE]

burnley

[spshone]

DG... You've obviously never been to Burnley.

Mind you, still red rose country. So not all bad.

[DG3744]

Yeah i have! Met some guy named Nick Griffen in the Britannia pub!! Supposidly he's someone important! Whoever the heck he is!!

[dragonkilla7]

like a bad ol yorkshire rapper! lol im frm sheffield btw

[DG3744]

So where does he hang out? Can I see him at The Black Bull in Sheffield!! Where can I see him at?

[grimkreaper]

i worked in burnley once . i was like taking a step back in time .

no running water or lecky ...

[SunderlandAFC1001]

LOL living in a cave like eh?

[humanityfirstnow]

I actually lived in keighley for 3 months and I can honestly say it is an awful place

[spodomaticfreeze]

suppose degrees are for idiots too ;D

[Ardolino1]

good ol manchester :D

[sambolad18]

burnley is great its not a shit hole like it used to be i live on the outskirts of stoops and its quite nice now any 1who dissagrees should come up and take a look at all the new schools and the college there may be some scruffy areas but every town has them and this is coming from a 14 year old

[mgs1982uk]

no really it is!

[VengaboysRbackINtown]

Sorry to hear that you hang with losers. :-(

[seivad9]

sad fuck more like

[FCHardcore]

fucking brilliant!

[wot2wot2]

most northern towns like manchester are in the urals

[VengaboysRbackINtown]

Never mind, just found out it's a mountain range in Russia, interesting...

[twinnyb2008]

burnleys a shit all i dnt ever wona go t burnley its a shit hole wots ther dont concern mi shit team shit place so dnt take a taste

[trevtrash]

I will tell ya once and i will tell ya firmly Burnley have just knocked out chelsea in the cup...burnley burnley burnley...fuck it i will stick to the day job..

[DonLoganUK]

bet drogba wouldnt wanna go to burnley

[nhintendo]

Stop arguing in comments. John Cooper Clarke rules.

[IndieRaver]

''quote''oh no mc nob ed ur not gunna go BURNLEY coz ull get your ed smash in nob ill jump on ur fukin head u paki scum bag''unquote''

.... moron.

[Grayling57]

Another good JCC poem. Nice place Burnley - but some vile comments here. People make a place good or bad. Those who hate often hate themselves too and tend to blame others for their own problems. Here's some advice. Wake up, turn off the TV, stop smoking weed,drinking cheap shite, get a life - because in the end it's in your hands. Only you can decide and you can't make the right choice full of bitterness! Think on before you blame immigrants, police, the council etc the problem may be you!

[VengaboysRbackINtown]

The best and most sensible comment I've read on youtube to date. :-)

[wehavejoy]

emmerdale farm (turf moor) and the dingles (the people of burnley). Lol

[littlemissemox]

like anyones fuckin bothered wheather he wants 2 go fukin burnley or not

n i live in burnley its not the place thats the problem its half the people that live that are

but look on the brightside of things its better than living in blackburn

[nhintendo]

Sheer stupidity.

[cripplewoox]

burnley was the biggest cotton producing town in the world at one time.the hills that enclose it are glorious and your only jelous.blackburn is horrible looking and tht shadsworth is a total shithole

[siancar]

Lets face it Burnley and Blackburn needs blowing up you stupid northern inbreds

[VengaboysRbackINtown]

Oh be nice. ;-)

[andychappers07]

I hate burnley, i live there

Too many chavs

[pixiewilson42]

God you should come here to Liverpool...everyone is sprayed tango orange..plastic hair,plastic tits,low IQ,Ugg boots on,tracksuits..+thats just the men...bloody scallies/chavs can't wait to leave..Capital of Culture,,what culture ???

[LordBikeshed]

Fuck off out of there then you ugly old cunt.

[cob1965]

Excellent, remember folks this could apply to almost any British town, and I'm sure mister clark could do us a poem for em all!

[VengaboysRbackINtown]

ALMOST any? How so?

ps, a friend of mine likes his northern soul too :-)

[twinnyb2008]

qwality hahaha

[lazer21610]

oh no mc nob ed ur not gunna go BURNLEY coz ull get your ed smash in nob ill jump on ur fukin head u paki scum bag

[conorconorconor]

You are possibly the only person who has ever described John Cooper Clarke as an MC. Well done for COMPLETELY missing the point of this poem, by the way.

[Jettruckmaster]

burnley is brilliant go go away Mr. Well hard

[ianupton]

burnleys alright. its just the people that live there are kinda, well, erm, i dont know how to describe them. mmm...blind ?

[brack909]

@ianupton Quite true. They've been blind to the way that a Labour council has dry-bummed them for 35 years. Now (2010) we have a change. Thank f**k.

[miknot]

@ianupton don`t u mean inbred

[tomlad2010]

@ianupton im from burnley

[hazg93]

I THINK BURNLEY IS AN ABSOLUTE SHITHOLE

i live there

better than living in blackburn though

[DG3744]

@hazg93 Whats the difference? Is it that bad? Why is Blackburn bad??

[parkerdog68]

@DG3744 Blackburn is NOT bad!!!

SCREW THE DINGLES!!!

[parkerdog68]

@hazg93 only town in  the uk with a cathedral

ok... mabey thats not too great but at least they weren't relagated!!!

[richardscunningham]

@hazg93 HAZGEEE93

[johnyates23]

@hazg93 Never been there, but have been to Goole, gooley Goole! Never go there except the way to Hull!

[brfxhoillet]

@hazg93 doubt it our town is not just coucil houses why does evryone take piss out of your town cause its discusting

[mcross15]

what are all yous on about burnley might be a shit hole but lok at all the pakis in blackburn its paki paradise

[brfc875]

1 question for you, why are all leisure centres free in Burnley?? Because its full of obese inbred bastards

ROVERS TILL I DIE!

[mathers6001]

why do you think its free!

Blackburn is full of paki's who steal your money!

Benifit stealing cunts!

[brfc875]

just think about what you hav just said...it makes no sense

its free in burnley because they are desperate for people to use them coz theyre all obese

think before you speak dickhead

[randomspoo]

burnley seems burnly

[shawrovers]

i wunt shit in burnley.. u in breds

[rockinJoker]

Stfu You Fat Bastard You Kind Aint Welcome In Burnley

[annieannearriz]

wanka

[anne241163]

Watch JCC in the Aussie interview After Dark 1982 with INXS.

[cunny1988]

:) hehe burnleys not that bad.

[underworld786]

for BNP supporters,nick griffen never worked in his lyf,so how can he fight for whites right?he wanst to earn money on party basis,he spread haterad like abu hamza,he targets ppl who are looser in lyf like abu hamza targeted young muslim and convert them into terrorists,so they all same,all politians,they divide and rule,.this is old british theory.lol

[BlazeDEMup555]

LOL REDDITCH

[spoosh66]

It's interesting how some locals have had a sense of humour bypass. Do you really think that this poem is directed at Burnley specifically, you thick c*nts? Nick Griffin is a racist pretending to be reasonable, like the supporters of his party and the Asian racists. Yes some Asians are every bit as racist as some of us whites. Shock horror. News to the middle classes.

John Cooper Clarke - excellent as ever, but I don't forgive you for not turning up at Blackpool last year, you shit.

[wehavejoy]

spoosh66, you brought Nick Griffin into the equation with malice. One never mentioned this prick. You are the cunt, spoosh66.

[spoosh66]

Nick Griffin and the BNP are inextricably linked, and I didn't bring them into the 'equation' whatever you mean by that. Come over to Chorley and we'll sort this out in an intelligent way ;-)

[exproggo]

inextricably.....good word :)

[AnthonyUK]

Nick Griffin is BRILLIANT;take my hat off to him anyday!

[wehavejoy]

Fuck off clarke, you would not say that to my face. Coward.

[chilling2008]

wehavejoy

jcc is NOT a coward

[Bligh1780]

I was called a coward once by a six foot six 300lb monster who was a professional wrestler. So I politely informed him that the next time I saw him he would be wearing his testacles as a "bib". Of course I was speaking to him by way of long distance telephone, he was in New York and I was in California.

[emilyhellyeah]

i live in burnley (: lol

[mesmerizeme]

Well if you think its ok for Asian men to abuse under age girls its not an isolated problem BBC1 and channel 4 have done documentaries on this. The asian men get their younger relatives to date the girls at school then at a later date are handed over to the older family members to be put into prostitution.asian men also see this as revenge to the white man to whore the white mans children. The Police will not act or havn't yet for fear of racial tension so it goes on right now VOTE BNP!!

[chilling2008]

NICK GRIFFIN ABUSES EVERYONE TOSSER

vote bnp.... my arse

on the bbc 1 and c4 programme it also pointed out albanian gangs and brits

next thing you will be saying the yorkshire ripper was an asian..... DICKHEAD

J C C is a legend

[BillyOnAStick]

get a life its just a poem for fun toss pot

[chilling2008]

yer

the lads..well so called lads havnt got a sense of humour

theprestompara soccer HOOOOLIGAN VIDEOS LOOK MORE LIKE A GAY PRIDE MARCH..BUT THERE YOU GO

whats the matter with clarrrrrky HES ALLLRIGHT

[teenageteletubby]

I was born and bred in Burnley. I'm always looking forward to revisting it. Burnley has a feel of pride whenever i go.

And for you people who say that "lasses from burnley are orange and steal things from boots," Then you are sadly mistaken. For I have a MPhil in Bioinformatics and i don't see myself walking around "orange".

[LappShaddy]

haha!! i'm from burnley and gatley!!

[bjbjbjbjbj]

jcc rules

[20050051]

lol i'm from burnley :P

[joefeery]

i live in keighley

it is shit

[AnthonyUK]

In Keighley pakies get white girls take em up to the countryside for sex in their cars and think they own the place!

[chilling2008]

emm

anthonyuk

i bet they dont but is this just jealousy.. are they getting something you want

[AnthonyUK]

It's TRUE! Saw it on a BBC programme about the BNP.

[chilling2008]

it seems you are educated by the bnp,bbc,daily mail,fox news and the sun

i bet you think the yorkshire ripper was a pakistani !!!

[chilling2008]

i spoke to john about 15 years ago when in love with debbie from BURNLEY

john said ''is she a virgin''

i said ''well yer''

he said ''if shes not good enough for her dad forget it!!''

ive chatted to john twice and he is a genuine funny guy..... if you havnt seen him yet..go and watch him because he is a legend

ps..if you are from burnley and get offended by john , then go live on a boat in the middle of the atlantic

whats the matter with clarrrrrkey...hes alright

[annatary1]

use to go in baltic fleet and vic derby

[nemothetaximan]

fuckin burnley who the fuck is suicide squad the chosen few run them every time pussys

[annatary1]

Burnley Born and Bred thats me lived round duke bar from 1954 to 1997 then moved to earby with g/f had great times at duke bar with wilf john brogan snots and lots more mates happy times yes its a dump now r.i.p

[slappedcheek]

burnleys gettin shitter stoneyholme duke bar...................drinkin up there used to be ok......now the waggoners is a curry house...........spewer. its where i had my first pint.......R.I.P burnley..............time for us nationals to take our town back.................and thompsons park

[FOARP]

Igrew up not far from Burnley, and let me tell you, it was as shit then as it is now

[c3179628]

burnley is a shit hole thats why i love it so much, its not full of stuck up, silver spoon up their arse, southern shandy top bastards!!!! haha, aaaaavvvvvv iiiiiiiiitttttt!!

[spacedskunk]

Living in Burnley I dont think its too bad, I've been to worse places. Your all making it out to be a place you wouldnt go if it was the only place you could get food hehe. Seriously though, its the reputation that screws us over, such as riots, and yes, chavs.

Its a shame most people have forgotten the history behind this place, when you think about that is seems to soften the blow on what it has become.

[i198g]

Burnley is a shit town, i should know. I live there :)

[sufcberry]

burnleys a hole!

[zaccrosland]

omg stop fukin sayin like burnleys a bad place it int i can think of loads places worse u fukin mug an this john cooper guy can go get fuked an ur readin this message u probaly live in a worse shit hole take down south gun crime wheres tht in fukin burnley no1 u sad cunt!

[lloydpayne]

i live in burnley and i not that bad so fuck you lot

[stayupbeat]

burnley is a shithole. i should know, i live there.

[theEliteboyz]

Fucking burnley bastards. It fucking needs nuking.

[jacksmith109]

i hate all of u shitfaces im from burnley and proud of it

[PinkBarbies]

Burnley is a shithole. If you dont think so, youre a dirty chav and deserve to live there.. end of.

[c3179628]

says the girl whos name is pink barbie????ok then barbie, with an attitude like that you are no better than a paki!

[caluk]

fuckin cunts mugin off burnley! half of you come from blackburn thats overrun by pakis. your dads proberbly a paki your all inbred cunts ! Burnley lads r sik... burnley girls r even siker, atleast we ave pride in our town.

[and3w]

This is exactly what this poems about

[dalecbrfc]

who wants to go burnley ?

no one shite team and the town is even worse

[burnleyrok]

damn idiot

say that again fatty bom-bom

[bjbjbjbjbj]

saw him doing this

[humanityfirstnow]

I remember being in Burnley, I couldnt help but sing "Theres nothing sadder than a town with no cheer" by Tom Waites it was .......depressing to say the least even though I was born in Lancashire. Despite this Keighly is definately worse it even has added facists

[kaney200]

He's not wrong, it's a shitehole!

[mikey4873]

come up london road in sheffied u r a load of fucking boys or pitsmoor at nite

[kaney200]

TWAT

[muddy4life]

f u

[afca71]

dazzalad i am from holland dont wanna dis respect you! but i saw the pic. burnley is stil depr me i am from middelburg holland

[MattyWilsonio]

brilliant. i dont ever wana go to burnley!!

[londonrover]

burnley is shit

[AliceNutters]

It's better than London you southern C**T.LOL

[afca71]

burnley is a dirty smelly fucking scum city!!! what a shit hole!!!! afca holland nr:1 hooligans!!!!!!! f-side since 79.

[dazzalad1003]

fukin cum on u scum bastard burnley best town eva yh we have druggies volice and all dat but it fukin betaa dan a lot of palces so shut it ryt fukin burnley lad

[AliceNutters]

You also have inbred retards who can't spell to save their lives! LMAO!