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From: sxephil
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  • Tasers are NOT funny.

    Tasers kill people.

    

  • Oct. 19 <33 my b-day. 

  • I openly mocked and made dick jokes about the principal when he told me to repeat the conversation i was having with a friend at a school assembly

  • Sxephil ate my panini....WTF?

  • Can I see a live viewing of what is under her shirt?

  • QOTD: I was tazed by a cop while jogging naked....I THOUGHT I WAS INVISABLE

  • I was in gym class, and I got an asthma attack. During my attacks, instead of wheezing like a normal person, I throw up. I told my gym teacher I had to go to the bathroom, but she said no. I started to argue, but at that moment my friend elbowed me, and I threw up ALL OVER HER. In front of 150 other kids. And the Principal.

  • @pjcrafty haha serves her right

  • I tried to long jump a swamp, failed, families w/their kids saw me trying to walk home unnoticed, they called the police to escort me home. When I first saw him I thought, covered in goose shit, "Act natural".

    He strongly insists I get in the car, files a report, & tells me "I stink of the river". To which I correct him: "Close. The creek."

  • Also Many of our founding fathers and patriots were not Christians. They were Deists! These include Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Franklin, James Monroe, James Madison, John Adams, and Thomas Paine. Some actually having much contempt for Christianity. Thomas Jefferson created the "Jeffersonian Bible," in which he removed all of the supernatural events and miracles of Jesus, just keeping his teachings. Paine wrote "the Age of Reason," a scathing critique of the Bible.

  • The First Amendment to the Constitution states, "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion or prohibiting the free exercise thereof." It was written to protect government from religion as well as to protect religion from government. It builds a wall of separation between church and state. Saying America was founded as a Christian nation is in conflict with the First Amendment.

  • lol no I was at a friends party but left because I got angry =P

  • I mooned a police officer and got chased a long time while I was saggin

  • nothing

  • I was really drunk this one time a couple years ago near Chirstmas and got mad and decided to go for a walk in my friends area which just happened to be under construction, I fell in a 10 foot hole where a house foundation was being put and had to scream my lungs out for an hour, finally this tiny asian guy comes and tries to pull me out and drops me back in cuz his arm was the size of my pinky finger, anyways to sum it up he called the cops on me! and the cops accused me of stealing copper!! :@

  • @MzCaitiekins lol good times!!!!!! getting drunk by yourself though?? whaaat

  • uh i was climbing a tree at a fast food place at 3 in the morining

  • I got arrested at my boyfriends house for running away from home...

  • DISCLAIMER: I am posting this fully aware that the dark trolls of the undernet arise here to wreak their trolling havoc among all. There is no separation of church and state word for word in the constitution, if you want to interpret it loosely, that's fine, just be aware, interpreting one thing loosely means all would need to be interpreted loosely, I.E. : In the constitution American's have the right to bear arms, meaning they can defend themselves, meaning they can shoot people they dont like

  • The separation of church and state was further enforced after the John Scopes trial because South Americans were clobering each other about teaching scientific Darwinism in class in further correlation to the destruction of religion and values instilled in children. In other words the churches wanted either 1) Darwinism should not be taught OR 2) Religion takes priority. Since evolution is scientific and hence academic, the Church got its balls kicked.

  • Come on Phil, It's not that they couldn't catch him, just who really would want to tackle that? I would taze a naked guy too. haha

  • The first amendment states that the government may make no law respecting an establishment of religion. I'd call that a separation of church and state.

  • @HaydenT18 Do I really have to copy

    and paste just to show that you are wrong?

    Incredible! Do you even know where the

    phrase comes from?

    "The First Amendment of the Bill of Rights

    states that "Congress shall make no law

    respecting an establishment of religion,

    or prohibiting the free exercise thereof."

  • @HaydenT18 Why would I try to

    change your viewpoint? It is clear you are

    above such things as logic.

  • got the cops called on my and a bunch of friends at walmart because we were playing basketball in the middle of the electronics section. we didnt even break anything! yeah. really. psh.

  • John Abbott rep!

  • Separation of Church and State comes from a Supreme Court Ruling, not the Constitution

  • @geometrololi pro

  • @XxfLAVAfALCONxX You are responding to SEC devision red , and regional , and hopefully MI state champs

  • no, seperation of church and state came from a letter that john adams wrote in a letter to (i think) george washington, explaining that the goverment should not enforce a beliefe system, BUT that the church should influence the governments decisions. i grew up thinking seperation of church and state was completly different. long story.

  • The lunch lady slapped the bacon out my hand.

  • i was wearing a cop costume to a halloween party when cops arrived. they told me i wasn't leaving the house in that (the shirt was actually real) so drunk as i was i ripped it off, and stood in my bra in front of the police men. they very nearly arrested me ..

  • i was wearing an evil kenivil helmet boxing gloves and no shirt cop pulls over to talk to me and my friends well they think it would be funny to say hes got weed pointing at me.. they pants me and run away so the cop searches me... :(

  • mel aint in it no mo (thats what i heard...)

  • i think 3 cops have seen me naked by now, but hands down, probably had to be the time i got away with smoking in the woods because the end of a condom wrapper fell out of my bf's pocket. so the cops logically assumed i was having a threesome with my bf and his 16 yr old brother

  • If I was a cop, I would opt for use of a taser rather than tackling when it came to naked men.

  • Put a pair of identical twins next to each other at the start line of a race, put one in 40 lbs of police equipment and give him an intense fear of dropping his gun.

    Grease his brother down, give him a hit or two of meth and let him run in his birthday suit.

    Who's going to win that race? Treadmill my booty.

  • @Redeth112 then why do fit cops always tackle suspect's xD and only fat people fear exercise for some unknown reason but whatever.Also tazer's where designed to takedown violent suspect's only & not as i'm a fatass & can't run for shit equalizer haha.

  • 1:29 the face hahaha

  • I once got pulled over for being too short.

  • Me and my friends were messing around with airsoft rifles in a church parking lot and like 8 cop cars showed up with sirens blaring and a searchlight (it was dark out and apparently someone thought we had real guns) they made us put our hands on the car, frisked us, and confiscated the toy guns

  • Hahahahahahaha dude, thats the college that is near me, I know cause the rust stain one one of the poles was from us spitting there every time we passed that pole, hahahaha that's pretty cool

  • i have a police record because i tried breaking into my own house

  • My friend ran butt NAKID with peanut butter smothered all over his bumbum and butt slided into a pile of dry leaves then ran around the block with leaves stuck on his ass. :\

  • Anybody else in GA tired of these Ray Barnes Hate Ads? I mean who MAKES these.

  • i got a citation for drawing on the ground with chalk

  • QOTD: I crashed my motorbike into the back of a policeman who happened to live on my street >.< He wasn't too nasty to me about though, i think it was cos im a girl not some stupid chavvy boy, win :)

  • The phrase Separation of Church and State does not appear in the U.S. Constitution. BUT... The First Amendment of the Bill of Rights states that "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof." Boom goes the dynamite religious folk!

  • @rage4lifebj Because the SCOTUS established this in Gitlow v. New York. The SCOTUS doesn't just go around making decisions based on how the justices "feel"; they carefully justify their decisions and write massive amounts explaining those decisions. You, and O'Donnell, simply don't research this.

    Also, the pledge of allegiance IS defined in a law passed by congress, and it was amended to include "under god" in a bill passed in 1954 (H.J.Res. 243).

  • @adamas360 like you have a girlfriend

  • @FFvs13caelum Well she's not my gf anymore :P haha

  • I'm gonna have to say that the best time I ever got caught by the cops was when me and a few of my buddies were walking down the street with a ninja sword. They pulled us over like a block from my friends house, searched us and made our parents come and get us, even though must of us were over 18...

  • I borrowed a friends car to go pick up my gf who lived 85 miles away, got close to her house, was doin 118mph in a 55mph zone... got pulled over by the local sheriff... it was her dad. first time ever meeting him...

  • I yelled out at this stoner dick saying he wad fat and he turned around with 6 of his friends and chased me around the school. :p

  • VIDEO: "Obama Loves sxephil"

    Obama's "The Nation is Sexy" video response!

    HERE at ObamaLovesYOU!

  • Arrested in college for throwing a smoke bomb in my gay RA's door. The cops thought it was a hate crime (it wasn't - i was just busting balls) and I was cuffed in the hallway of our co-ed dorm.

    oh...and then a year later when the yankees beat my red sox in game 3 of the 2004 ALCS I was arrested a few hours later when the RA across the hall could smell the mountain of marijuana that I was smoking while trying to forget the past few days. arrested again.

    moral: good lawyers expunge records

  • My most embarassing story with authority would be the time I went to Vegas in seventh grade. Some people at the airport thought I had a bomb with broken glass inside, so I was taken aside and they asked me if I'd put anything "bad in my bag". After searching my bag for fifteen minutes his hand came out of my bag holding.... my Snickers bar. Best part? EVERYONE was watching me.

  • My most embarassing would probably be the hall monitors always bust on me for running in the halls. One day, either he was lazy or something but he didn't say anything..... then I crash into a girl making her drop her lunch half a second later.

    Or some variations of trying to play hooky while still physically in the school.

  • My most embarrassing would run in with an authority figure would be at the air port, apparently my regular run of the mill walking speed was too fast for the metal detector and my positive attitude was so very off putting that after having to re walk threw 2 more times both slower and slower ( all without breaking into tears laughing at these morons ) they then felt the need to give me a full body frisking.

    ohh and i was Returning home on a domestic flight for this particular security check...

  • pulled over on an atv with no shirt

  • I want to hit the guy in the face:(

  • YEAH! WEST COAST NIGGAH! <3

  • the most awesome/embarassing run in with the law i had with the law as it were..

    was the time i tried to spray paint a big pig on the side of the police station, righ twhen there was the evening shift change and 12 coppers came out right past me and saw what i was doing.. i responded with "DOCTOR OCTAGONAPUS" and threw my can at them, me and my friends tried to run but were tazed naked.. no, not really they just ran faster than me :D

  • Yes Phil U RE correct it doesn't say anywhere in the Constitution "separation of church & state" What it does say (layman's terms) No laws will be made 4 or against any religion To do this the Government MUST NOT have a religion of it's own It can not pick sides or the 1st Amendment can not be followed.

    Our forefathers came here because Government (British Crown) had a religion & all others were discriminated against.

  • Why is it that everything every one else beleives in i am tottally against or on the opposite side,no one cares about morals or whats right,,it's all about whats popular or on MTV.

  • @brucekirk89 who watches mtv?

  • Actually, the first colony was created to make money for Britain. And the United States was formed when the colonies got sick of Britain stationing troops in American homes, occupying cities and putting unfair taxes on the colonies without any representation in the British government. Yes at points in history people came to the new world to escape religious persecution in Europe, but the colonies were not started by these people.

  • QOTD: my spanish teacher saw the condom i keep in my wallet...

  • Phil, GYTO or F Off from youtube, simple rule

  • phil i love the fact the though you remain unbiased towards religion, you still freely talk about it with respect for others :)

  • play the rest of the Cristen O'Donnell clip the other guy say the first amendment. Phil no hard feelings no unsubscribing.

  • QOTD:

    Most embarrasing thing....

    being woken up by 2 Ap's and a couple teacher's from my nude nap in the 3rd story pool.

    (Atherton is Ftw)

  • i was fucking my best freinds sister in the bathroom and my princepalal walked in i got the refural in my least favorite teachers class which my best freind was in and she read the refural out loud which is acoustom in her class and my best freind's fave was priceless

  • awesome cop moment? i was putting the car cover in my ghia's trunk & a fast moving cop car slides to a stop next to me. i jump back, thinking, "they think i'm stealing". so, i have my hands away from my sides, not moving, when the cop hops out & starts asking me about the year/engine/misc of my car. then the cop tells me he has one at home that he's restoring, & wants to know where to get some parts. i gave him some sources and we chatted for a few min's. cool dude. gotta luv VW fans.

  • i was on a quad playin in the snow and this stupid cranky old women calls the cops on us. and of course i get the cranky cop! lame...

  • Holy shit. Phil gets extra points for actually KNOWING what the Constitution says. I am impressed.

    Sad fact: This is a rare enough thing that it impresses me.

  • @soulmonarch He probably Googled it. :P

  • You hit the mark with that one, Phil. Tasers as a catch-all solution is ridiculous. Here in BC we had a man in Vancouver International Airport off his meds who'd been left there almost an entire day, where this happened: youtube.com/watch?v=9gziQB6HkO­Y ... Instead of calling an interpreter, they tased him then beat the shit out of him with batons, leading to his death. (unabridged video)

    The police need to own up to their duties and stop being lazy about this stuff. It's happening all over.

  • If you like comics, go checkout The Walking Dead, its a badass zombie comic, and they have a show coming out this week!

  • oh good old piece of shit america where you get tazered and beaten for public indecency

  • SXEPHIL likes the boys. nice.

  • Tasering someone for being naked,... I think that would be abuse of police powers. The Taser was invented as a option for police to disarm someone with a non projectile weapon, (club or knife) without having to shoot them. It is not a weapon for crowd control or because you are too lazy to chase a naked man with a drug problem.

  • ...falling...

  • @remyllebeau77 thanks dude

  • Must be when I was a kid, maybe 14-15 years old, and being a jerk was fun. Me and some friends poured gasoline on the road a dark winter night and lit it when a car came rolling, he got spooked and called the cops or something. And we were hiding in the woods nearby, the ditch and wherever. And when we saw the cop car came we ran like hell, we unintenionally split up into groups of two, and the tubby guy ran to the nearby restaurant before the cops showed. I learned dogs are common in backyards.

  • On this past Friday I just got pulled over for not having my lights on in town but the bad thing is there was a line of about 50 cars behind me coming back from a football game (yes they all knew me) and then I had to hear about today at school. FUN FUN!!!

  • Fail

  • Getting issued a UIP... by a female cop.

  • i broke an undercover cop's car window accidentally and he was..... pissed

  • what about Scott Pilgram? those comics were awesome! I'm glad the movie happened or else i wouldn't have ever found em.

  • lol the jogger was the greased up def guy

  • I haven't watched all of his vids so I don't know if this has been explained already but, what happened to the monkey poster?

  • @Stealthypancake101 I will try.

    Antireligion people say it means a total removal

    of church from state and (hopefully) vice versa.

    They are clearly wrong in their understanding.

    Religious people and or historians (most of

    them should) know where that phrase comes

    from and know that in context it means a

    protection of the church from the state.

  • @dannysports20 No it is not.

    Church and state, no.

    State from church, yes.

    The action of restriction (or separation) is on the state not the church.

    Anyone who says different is trying to rewrite

    history or can't understand the plain english

    from back then.

  • yo phill, just wanted to phill you in... this country wasnt founded for "religious freedom" the virginia charter clearly states coming to america for economic gains.

  • @bosksksify no action in history is done for one reason. Yes, economics was a factor, but don't forget the Puritans!

  • @HaydenT18 You mean English history?

    You are clearly wrong, but Sxephil is correct.

    If anyone says different they haven't bothered

    looking at American history or worse, they prefer

    to spread disinfomation.

  • OMG SXEPHIL AND EVERYONE ELSE, HOW MUCH CAN YOU NOT WAIT FOR THE NEXT BOYS???

  • Having sex in the car, but I guess lot of people go trough the same as I did.

  • I got pulled over once and they had me get out and frisked me.... I had a bottle of lube in my pocket, he asked if it was a weapon, of course I told him what it was and it was pretty embarassing...

  • First Amendment was two ways, Phil, not just so government wouldn't mess with church, but so no one church came to be associated with the state...get it right man, crazy people will take this sort of misinformation and, I don't know, run for congress on that shit :)

  • My most awesome run-in with the law: I went to Wendy's on my way home from work because I was cravin some food. Cop pulls me over because I looked like i was under 18, therefore out beyond my cities little "curfew". He asked "What are you doing out so late?" So i held up the bag of wendy's and said "Eatin' great even late."  Poor bastard couldn't even get a ticket out of me... so.... pwned.

  • i had a knife in an airport......

    i know its my fault.I was sad because i couldnt find my 3inche locknife for like 2 years...but unfortunately the customs duty found it for me :/

    maybe i didnt get arrested because im 13 years old

  • it wasn't embarrassing on my part but it was on theirs i am in a wheelchair and recently went to jail for beating up a couple of cops that we're trying to arrest me on an old warrant. so everyone in jail heard about and even the c.o.'s were giving the cops a hard time when they came in because they both had black eyes and looked like hell from a handicap chick beating their asses!!! ahhhaha fuck the police!!!

  • just as i pulled up to my house the car appeared in the drive way, i almost shit myself and who was to pop out a cop in a clown costume and another with a jason mask, so i was like WTF???!! then casually walked inside then they just left.

  • Last week i was out for casual 3 am bike ride in the middle of the city so i was riding really slow and i looked behind me a cop car was there i thought it was parked until it started to follow me. so i Sped it up and rode into an alley i thought i lost it then i came up on the other side and they were right in front of us, so i got scared i rode like armstrong i did shit that i didnt even know was possible on a bike i was like 1 mile away from my last location cop car know where to be found,

  • holy shit phil knows something that 99% of other people don't, right on point phil, for everyone wanting to know more about church and state, google "wallbuilders seperation"

  • @KryptoNite350 ??? Sorry, but I don't really understand the joke = / Could you please explain?

  • I j-walked got half way across the street and a cop pulled up right beside me. Luckily i am a fast runner and there was a lot of traffic.

  • QOD-A cop searched me because he saw me reaching into my backpack multiple times in my local park and he suspected I was in possession of illegal drugs. Instead, he found a giant thing of "Gazillion Bubbles" and assorted hard candys. I'm a 16 year old dude. He laughed and walked away.

  • "...a TREAD...mill."

  • kick ass 2 and the boys! yeah!

  • me and my friend tyrone were playing with airsoft guns and messing around with my brother in law i acted like i was shooting at him and he laughed and drove away. two minutes later we get surrounded by cops asking us to drop the weapon(gun is see through by the way) the cop comes up kicks the gun away and asks me if i had a permit for that "weapon" and i almost get charged with disorderly conduct

  • hahaha I know that guy

  • remember when lord of the rings came out and everyone thought it was cool? well at my school, well the school I went to at the time, this chick alot of people didn't like told everyone she was an elf princess and that her parents were actually trolls who were sent to protect her on a dangerous misson ... surprisingly enough, no one believed her ... but somehow she managed to make friends with the local nerd herd..

  • Do you ever keep a copy of The Preacher comic together with a copy of The Boys?

  • @Tomanistanumerouno I see what you did there ..and i like..

  • What's the tune at the end of the video?

  • I love the mystery men reference XD

  • Preacher is BAD ASS!!! lol. You know, I find you sexy when you geek out...and well at other times. you make me smile! =)

  • he should read transmetropolitan

  • Awww man i miss the shirt giveaway :((((

  • One time all the boys in my 8th grade catholic grammar school class were called into a different from and we were asked by our principal about the question the losers in our class had started. they were going around asking about when did you get your first bj. All of us had to keep from laughing and every now and then one of us would whisper under their breathe to a friend, "9th" "6" "11" "Whats a bj" "8"

  • One time a cop stopped us after running from a friends house. I was high, friend drunk. After a few questions the cop asked is if we had seen an 18 year old girl wearing a tank top and short shorts. we said no and he drove off

  • One time a cop stopped us after running from a friends house. I was high, friend drunk. After a few questions the cop asked is if we had seen an 18 year old girl wearing a tank top and short shorts.

  • Hey Phil in the early 1800's Thomas Jefferson wrote a piece of literature stating in plain terms that the church is better off without government, and that the government is better off without the church. Thus in one of the founding fathers on words is the actual meaning of a section of the first amendment...... The more you know

  • @iiSkateboardPeteii funny thing is ...that concept was to protect religion and not government as most people now assume. Government corrupts religion... bwahahahahahahaha

  • Hey, what a coincidence. I AM looking for a college!

  • Comment removed

  • look right here.... 

  • If the guy was amped up on drugs he prob could outrun them no matter how fit...

    Question I'm wondering is what kinda taser they use the pins or the hooks? He's gonna have some pretty back scars if they used the hooks. Boyfriend has them from "army training".

  • @KryptoNite350 HAHA epic! didn't even question what "things" you were gonna kill.

  • @kosovakillaz ooohh..

  • This nation was settle by religious refugees but was it's government was established by deist, with the writings of the atheist John Payne.

  • It's not really awesome, but of course, ghetto ass cops. When my friend and I were like 15, she started yelling "We're going streaaakiinggg!" (like from Old School). and this cop car turned on its lights and pulled up to us. The driver rolled down his window, said "Aw, you're not naked. You disappointed my partner." Then they both laughed, and sped off.

  • @PsYkoticCheErio Lmfao

  • @PsYkoticCheErio That's why people have a negative perception of police officers.

  • borrowed my dad's car*

  • and the car alarm goes off, my buddy and I panic, jump in the car, I didn't know what to do, and we are in a quiet neighborhood, had a few beers, I was afraid of the cops showing up so I figured we drive off with the car alarm on, get to a nearby parking lot to figure out what to do, so we drive off to a nearby parking lot and pull in, only to realize 4 police cars pull up behind us immediately and like 7 cops jump out asking us what the hell we're doing, I explained and we all had a good laugh

  • I borrowed my dad to take a buddy and me to a friend's place for a get together. The locking mechanism for the door on the driver's side was broken, so even though when we got out and I locked the car, the door on the driver side wouldn't lock and could still open it. I left it alone cause I knew the car was safe. We leave around 3am, and I forgot about that even though the door was unlocked I still needed to unlock the car so the alarm would shut off, didn't unlock the car...

  • I was hooking up with my bf and afterwards we both fell asleep, naked, in a park, in his car. around 2 am a cop pulled up and asked us both to get out. it was freezing cold, but the officer only let me and my bf wear a blanket we had in the car, b/c he was worried we were on drugs or something. luckily he didn't call my parents and he didn't search the car, because i found out later my bf had a bunch of weed and alcohol in the car, we were both 17!

  • dude do ya do many clips and cuts?

  • another scream.... god damn it....

  • QOTD: I kicked in a door to a house I thought was empty. It wasn't empty.

    And back then I found Dane Cook to be hilarious (I've grown up since), so I did this while holding a lava-lamp.

    The cops didn't seem to find the whole thing to be as funny as I did.

  • I go to John Abbott College in Montreal where they film Blue Mountain State. Is it filmed here because the states is so shit ugly?! I think so.

  • QOTD: my handbag was stolen so i went to the police station to report it

    i was in the waiting room when i heard to police men laughing then i heard 1 say really loudly "then i throw her on the bed and fucked her hard" i was 12 at the time.

    police fail

  • Last weekend my ex-girlfriend pulled a bb gun out on a cop. We had just gotten pulled over for my headlight being out, and he didn't think much of the situation UNTIL HE NEARLY HAD TO DESTROY HER ASS.

  • Phil, you are the first you tube icon to actually describe the original intent of church and state separation, THANK YOU SIR AND MAY ALL OF YOUR DAYS BE FILLED WITH ARS KICKIN GOODNESS LOL

  • BMS. Boob Mountain State

  • Gosh, you're so hot, Phil.

  • you are funny

  • @hondalove88 ya, u go off and much him, much him hard... hater

  • @hondalove88 faggot honda loveing troll

  • ............i almost got a picket line started up a school cause me and 10 other students were pissed because the school canteen stopped feeding hot food (burgers, hot dogs, chicken nuggets ect.) all they started doing was soft drinks, salad and a bunch of other vegeterian crap and we were PIIIIIISED

  • pick up Nemesis! Mark Millar and Steve McNiven, Thank me later!

  • that's what galifinakis looks like without a beard??

  • 1:17 By the way, you just lost.

  • Phil, reading your QOTD answers to your last video at the end of this video , I realised y