Delay of gratification work is exceptional. Mischel found 5 year old children who could wait for 2 marshmallows later vs. 1 immediately, 18 years later were more likely to go to college, have higher SAT scores (+150 or more points), and be more socially capable.
Three cheers for your teacher! The art is helping your child learn about her/himself and how they feel facilitates lifetime capability ...where ever they go.
You are absolutely right! To say "Stop crying," is ignores your child's feelings and that is not only non-empathic, it is pointless. Crying will stop when the feelings are spent...or acknowledged and validated. When parents say "I can see you are upset. Please use your words. I want to know how you feel," tantrums decline. Emotions are! Not good or bad. Accept. Reflect. Clarify... and then guide behavior for your child's age.
Listen to your child and your child will listen to you.
My teacher taught us the one with the marshmallows. I do this with my young son. You can't just say stop crying and carrying on. You have to say use your words and tell me why you are crying. It makes it easier to calm him down and easier for me to figure out how to help him.
Delay of gratification work is exceptional. Mischel found 5 year old children who could wait for 2 marshmallows later vs. 1 immediately, 18 years later were more likely to go to college, have higher SAT scores (+150 or more points), and be more socially capable.
Three cheers for your teacher! The art is helping your child learn about her/himself and how they feel facilitates lifetime capability ...where ever they go.
Emotional self-efficacy!
Thank you, Albert Bandura!
shariyo 10 months ago
You are absolutely right! To say "Stop crying," is ignores your child's feelings and that is not only non-empathic, it is pointless. Crying will stop when the feelings are spent...or acknowledged and validated. When parents say "I can see you are upset. Please use your words. I want to know how you feel," tantrums decline. Emotions are! Not good or bad. Accept. Reflect. Clarify... and then guide behavior for your child's age.
Listen to your child and your child will listen to you.
shariyo 10 months ago
My teacher taught us the one with the marshmallows. I do this with my young son. You can't just say stop crying and carrying on. You have to say use your words and tell me why you are crying. It makes it easier to calm him down and easier for me to figure out how to help him.
azsli2 10 months ago
thank you for sharing! :) i found this very encouraging and helpful as a parent.
poletasticminx 1 year ago