Added: 7 months ago
From: AronRa
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  • I wish I had something funny to say about it, but I don't.

  • I think that we should hope for unintelligent life. What intelligent life would come down to this world of delusional, nasty people.

  • August 6th is my birthday, they should've prayed to me

  • I also fab to George Carlin!

  • DUCT TAPE!

  • "If I was a comedy writer and I wanted to mock this, what could I possibly do?"

    Nothing, this is actually a ongoing joke by comedians because it requires no work to make it funny, you Americans have fun while us Aussies are taking all your money through force trade with China which you are paying...good fucking luck Yanks

  • @GreedyCapybara7

    What a delightful and sympathetic soul you are.

    "HAHAHA MY COUNTRY IS TAKING ALL YOUR COUNTRY'S MONEY, HAHAH, GOOD LUCK, FUCKERS!"

    People who get all hate-y on people from other countries just don't make sense to me. Go be a shallow douchenozzle somewhere else.

  • @MattAlexWatson ya, I'm sorry, but you Yanks (or at least your government) have had this coming for a long time, the strong prey on the weak. America wants stuff, we give them stuff for a price...eventually you get to this point where your government is too stupid to increase export markets to a point of stability.

  • Turn to the wisdom that is George Carlin.

    Pray to Joe Pesci. :)

  • People, let's not forget to pray to Ares/Mars/etc to help us win all wars and shit, that way we can save up on military spending.

  • LOL! He is a governor and was elected how stupid is Texas... sad.

  • In regards to the proverbs, I'll also translate a funny one from my own country (Portugal):

    "Yes, sure, trust in the Virgin (Mary) and don't run..." (Sarcastic, of course :p)

  • I keep on saying lets just pray, right, pray. but who to, I say the Triforce of the gods, Power Wisdom Courage. That would really solve our problems.

  • @CapQuacer Fool! Cthulhu is the god you should be praying to! 

  • @hakkai999 No triforce, lets go to war

  • @CapQuacer I used to play the legend of zelda when I was in High School. Holy Shit I'm Old :)

  • SHIT HAPPENIN IN THE WORLD MUSLIMS ARE DESTROYING THE WORLD CHRISTIAN FUNDAMENTALISTS ARE MAKING IT MORE STUPID AND WE SECULAR DUDES WITH ALL FUTILITY TRYING TO STOP ALL THS STUPIDITY thinking about this makes me feel sad climate change,enviormental destruction humanity gonna be destroyed.I FEEL SO FUCKING POWERLESS.

  • YESS GO AFTER IRISH TAKES THEIR GOLD XD

  • "if I were to parody this what could I possibly do"? ... you can always stick another banana up your ass.... hehe

  • Fox News think the prayers have been answered. watch?v=KBpZisdm5bo

  • Poor Prick Error, he's a good ol boy.

  • wow the Westborough baptist church would certainly love that meeting although I don't think they would be very productive.

  • Prayer to solve all your problems? Why didn't anyone think of this before? 

  • You would think that after the 'pray day' thingy failed, the Gardasil scandal and selling toll roads to Spain that he would have lost SOME credibility. Alas, Perry-ites will follow their master right off the cliff. I think the hair distracts the simple minded.

  • Masturbation simply wont work. I've been doing it so much for the last 20 years that if it had any effect we would never of got into this situation in the first place.

  • When the second dude said "Refuse to swallow or blink". I immediately felt an overwhelming urge to swallow.

  • deep in the heart of texas common sense lives.on life support .

  • I laughed my ass off when he said "Welcome to Retard-topia" hahah

  • 10:29 That bear scares the shit out of me!

  • I have found my soul mate. Girl who faps while listening to George Carlin, will you marry me?

  • omg that chick in the star wars get up is so hawwwwt

  • @lenney81 thats a joke right?

  • What's the opening song? Thanks.

  • What's really sad: there are people who were following along up to 8:20 thinking all of this prayer stuff is silly (and it is), but then see the crystal part and think "hey, crystals still work"...

    I guess my point is that there are still going to be nuts and idiots even after we get past religion. =/

  • bionic jedi, lawl

  • I ment to say for the sake of Cheesus Crust that song melted my fucking brain.

  • For christ that song melted my fuckin brain.

  • how does a girl fap?

  • It is scary that this video is so true.

  • who's the gal at 2:45 ?

  • Wow, got ride of my tv cable and look at all the crazy I missed. Seriously, did this really happen? Is Texas is butt fucking stupid?

  • I think Texas should call The Doctor. :-D Maybe he could sonic some money. Anyone know Martha Jones?

  • funny how to spend that mutch money to pray when there is a money problem.

    fuck where in deeper trouble but.....

  • Aronra.... Try to grow up and use a little bit of maturity when relaying a serious message. Sarcasm and maturity are two totally different things

  • @TheOpticfire RE:"Sarcasm and maturity are two totally different things"

    That is true but that doesn't mean they are mutually exclusive.

  • Did they really go ahead with the meeting ? I have not heard anything in this country (mmmmmmmm lucky what?), well I woundn't - was not listening anyway !

  • 2:05

    And THIS, Mrs. Bachmann, is why _you_ so often look scary.

    BTW, 8:27 - Tell the Libyans we found Gaddafi!!!!

  • Man that first woman was hot what's her channel?

  • Rick Perry used prayer. It was not very effective.

  • @Mechsrule1 Rick Perry used prayer. Nothing happened.

    ... there, all fixed.

  • @GreyLabyrinthine I'm sure someone felt better from the prayer-a-thon. But to make you happy,

    Rick Perry used mass prayer. It didn't effect anything.

  • @Mechsrule1

    rick perry tried to use "brain", but it failed!

  • @Mechsrule1 I think you mean "It doesn't affect foe REALITY..."

  • its safe to say that taxes has become so religious that the pope will tell them to tone it down a notch

  • Gotta say. The one chick who fapped every four hours? Good taste in comedy.

  • Too...busy...laughing...to...c­omment...

  • This is so wrong, this mockery is in bad taste. PRAYER IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING!

    Jeebus will save you!

  • @skeletorphd jeebus? JEEBUS?!

    its raptor jesus that will save us!

  • "Flip-Flopper" NitWit Mitt ROMNEY / DumbAss-TexAss Gov "Secede" pRICK PERRY - 2012

  • What's the name of the English guy?

  • @gunnerfan87

    I mean the very first one?

  • Brilliant Ra.

  • Did any of those people donate anything at the stadium? Was it a free event? Were donations taken for any charities? Just think if all those people gave blood, or donated a few can goods or old clothing, or 3-4 dollars? Did any of that happen? Anyone got the figures?

  • That girl as 6:35 Does she actually say "I'm going to fap every four hours using circular motions only"???

  • @viktorrietveld don't forget watching george carlin's you are all diseased! on a side note, i think i'm in love.

  • How the hell did this a-hole get elected? How the hell is he a serious contender for the White House? In any other 1st world (or former as in our case?), this guy would have been thrown out for admitting that he couldn't do a damned thing to solve the problems he created. My brains hurts......

  • @PwntifexMaximus

    Just get Harold Camping to make a prediction that the rapture will occur at such and such time and date, but that Jesus is only going to take people within a certain radius of where he's gonna appear, and he's gonna appear somewhere in the Nevada Desert. Then, when all the believers are gathered around the spot where Jesus is supposed to appear, when the clock hits 0, sound off sone loud trumpets for 30 seconds, wait for 15 seconds of silence, and then *BOOM*!!! Nuke 'em all t

  • What manner of heresy is this?!

    Is there none who would put and end to the madness and horrors of this intellectual squalor? Where is the light of understanding? Where is the doubt, the thought, the challenge?

    All absent. All desperately needed. All firmly rejected by those in the most dire need.

    It is time we stopped caring about the oppinions of children and madmen. It is time we give them the filnal mercy. Oblivion.

  • Yay for the Sirius Cybernetics Corp Theme song.

    Share and Enjoy :)

  • Where can I find the video that suggests that the American soldiers rob the leprechauns of their precious gold, and have a seance with Sam Houston?

  • Provident living is our stewardship I agree that the solution will come from those who govern in State and Federal legislatures. That is why we need to pray! Ben Franklin said, "The longer I live, the more proofs I see of this truth: that God governs in the affairs of men." Pres. Abe Lincoln proclaimed a day of national fasting and prayer, saying "It behooves us to humble ourselves before the offended Power, to confess our national sins, and to pray to the God that made us."

  • @TiffinyVaughn 'As to Jesus of Nazareth, my Opinion of whom you particularly desire, I think the System of Morals and his Religion, as he left them to us, the best the world ever saw or is likely to see; but I apprehend it has received various corrupt changes, and I have, with most of the present Dissenters in England, some Doubts as to his divinity; ' 1st March 1790....." (Carl Van Doren. Benjamin Franklin. New York: The Viking Press, 1938, p. 777.)

    '

  • @TiffinyVaughn What Franklin saw was Spinoza's god.

    'I have found Christian dogma unintelligible. Early in life, I absenteed myself from Christian assemblies'. - Benjamin Franklin'

  • @TiffinyVaughn A real leader would be able to lead. He wouldn't create these situations and then try to obfuscate the blame with a stunt like this. Neither would he imagine that an omniscient being somehow doesn''t know what's going on, or that an omnipotent, all loving being would not act until 'enough' people plead with it at once. A real leader wouldn't wish for an answer, he would find one, or make one himself.

  • @TiffinyVaughn

    "God is the same yesterday, today, and for all eternity" The god you think you know (the kindly, forgiving chap), is very different from the grumpy, vindictive old bastard found in most of the old testament.

    Why would that be?

  • @TiffinyVaughn

    You mean like President Obama -- who declared May 5, 2011 as a national day of prayer?

    As he did in both 2009 and 2010? Is that the real leader you're referring to?

  • @TiffinyVaughn By that measure, "he" ("she"? "it"?) also does not need to save people from their own stupidity.

    "Free will; it is a bitch."

  • @TiffinyVaughn

    Falling right into Perry's trap.

    Beautiful.

  • @AronRa Even Franklin D. Roosevelt prayed over America: O Lord, give us faith. Give us faith in Thee; faith in our sons; faith in each other; faith in our united crusade. Let not the keenness of our spirit ever be dulled. Let not the impacts of temporary events, of temporal matters of but fleeting moment--let not these deter us in our unconquerable purpose. June 6, 1944 Prayed over America by radio broadcast

  • @TiffinyVaughn So what? That was nearly a century ago

  • Comment removed

  • @TiffinyVaughn On top of that, church and state should be separated. Texas is a good demonstration of that.

  • ummm i'm not sure how i feel hearing C0nc0rdance and the amazingatheist in one video other than that this was quite full of win.

    oh and also wtf is wrong with the USA not even Mexico is as fucked up as you're now and trust me I live in Mexico

  • @TiffinyVaughn Certainly it is the right of the people peaceably to assemble for whatever lawful, even silly, purpose they want It's puzzling that you think people would be "threatened" by that. The problem is the utter irrelevance of it -- the complete, amply, and repeatedly demonstrated uselessness of prayer in accomplishing any lofty or low aspirations. What a fatuous, smug and self-congratulatory waste of time when those thousands could do something that might actually benefit others.

  • A single hand in honest toil is worth a thousand hands clasped in prayer.

  • This proves it: Not all people have sense of humor.

  • hahaha texas cat drum circle. what video is that??

  • The Onion as a serious news organization is actually pretty realistic when you consider that FOX News is considered "serious." This video is full of win.

  • hokey kokey - he missed a quickstep in-out, in-out BEFORE doing the hokey kokey. The way he did it will NEVER FUCKING WORK!

  • So .. Did "The Big Prick ~ Pray Away The Problems" work yet .. is the world better now? Did God show up ? Do i still have to pay off my debts or can I walk away from my responsibilities now and say Gad and Prick Perry Fixed it ? Thanks Prick I feel much better .. next time the bailiffs show up I am gonna pray that God strikes them down with lightening ! Yeah XD

  • I thought Americans had guns.shoot the cunt.

  • This is the problem with all who don't believe in God all of ya'll speak out of ingnorance,prayer is not (ok igive up God your gonna have to do it) and do nothing.It's asking God for wisdom and guidance to accomplish his will.Like the bible says in james 2:17&18 17 Even so faith,without works is dead,being alone.18.Yea a man say,thou hast faith,and i have works:shew me thy faith without works,and i will shew you my faith by my works.

  • The politicians both republicans and democrats have done the opposite of what needs to be done. They think we can spend our way out of 14 trillion dollars worth of debt. They need to amend the constitution and make it to where they must present a balanced budget. That is what we have here in Colorado and our state legislature had to adjust the budget to fit the financial situation with our present economy. They did not spend trillions of dollars and go deeper in debt.

  • This isn't about people being "scared" of those who pray. It's about incompetent politicians being elected simply because they are christians. It's about our nation's leaders consulting an invisible man for advice that affects REAL people.

    The Tea Party is perfect proof that all you have to do is pull the ol' christian card and you can get followers without having the slightest clue on how to fix our nation

    So much for separation of church and state...

  • @TiffinyVaughn the economy didn't go south because people weren't praying, it happened because of bad, short sighted policy laid down by 'leaders' like perry. this rally effectively states 'whoopsie! i sure screwed that up! only god can help us now! um how about we all pray? cause i got nothing.'

    it doesn't lend confidence to anything else he might propose.

  • Franklin D. Roosevelt: O Lord, give us faith. Give us faith in Thee; faith in our sons; faith in each other; faith in our united crusade. Let not the keenness of our spirit ever be dulled. Let not the impacts of temporary events, of temporal matters of but fleeting moment--let not these deter us in our unconquerable purpose. June 6, 1944 Prayed over America by radio broadcast

  • waitaminute!!!

    Was that a stuffed Tux?

  • 6:31

    Finally a good idea! This will be hard work.

  • 1:06 Money quote and most pertinent question surrounding this whole debacle:

    "What the fuck is the Onion gonna do? How do you parody this?"

    Indeed. How the hell do you parody something so laughably ridiculous that it's barely even believable in the first place?

  • August 7th seems to have come and math and reason still seem to be our best options.

  • Is everyone so blind as to not see that Perry's prayer date is a political move? He's going to run for president & he want's the evangelical vote.

  • @KenMacMillan Follow the link in the description (insider); the political motives [of religious moves like Perry's] are transparent to the level to not even be worth mentioning

  • I tried that hokey pokey cure but only sprained my ankle

    Damn you and your pathetic suggestions

  • The problem isn't with people praying, I could care less, it's with people thinking politics and religion go hand in hand. The two should be completely 100% separate. No one with sense would support anything like this. A good leader would be finding out real solutions to their problems and actually helping the American people. Not wasting time with things like this. Anyone who participates in this is a moron. Focusing on stupid pointless things like this is why we're in the mess we're in.

  • pray chuck norris to round kick the problems away! there's no other way!

  • @TiffinyVaughn I agree that it is ridiculous that anyone should be threatened by people talking to themselves, who think that they're really awakening some benevolent genie who will magically fix everything our governor has done to us. Well, I can see how such delusional people would be frightening, especially in such numbers. But they are all effectively just making a wish, and how could anyone even be threatened by that? Who did you imagine to be threatened by this?

  • @TiffinyVaughn Christians do have the right to pray and fast for one day just as others have the right to freedon of speech. So we can mock all we want :)  But really seperation of church and state is not exercised in the US the way that I wish it were and as Thomas Jefferson mentioned more than 200 years ago.

  • @GaTechGirl199

    Yesterday's Governor sponsored religious (useless) spectacle would have T.J. rolling over in his grave. :(

  • @TiffinyVaughn Do you teach the separation of church and state in any of those classes?, or Thomas Jefferson? Constitutional Law?

  • @TiffinyVaughn people need to act instead of doing nothing and hypocritely standing in a big stadium and praying. Even the Jesus you worship would call this hypocrisy : if you don't believe me check Matthew 6:1 to 6

    "when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites; for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by men" sounds any bell ? All that "prayer day" shows is the uselessness of your governor and his stupidity.

  • @TiffinyVaughn Are you threatend by our freedom of expression?

  • @nextgenvids what If satanists gathered in a stadium to sacrifice a goat and pray? Would you respect their constitutional right and let them practice their beliefs, no matter how repulsive or retarded, like christians ?

  • @eat666shit Not if it had to do with politics and for the economy to get better, I think it's ridiculous. I don't see anything beneficial it would have. They might wells rub a lamp. I have no respect for people who try to wish things away instead of trying to solve it.

  • @nextgenvids who does anyway? lol

  • @TiffinyVaughn It is your right, and it is our right to point out that it's completely ineffective. And governments have the obligation to respond to the people, not to shift the blame to whatever supernatural entities you happen to have been brought up to believe in.

  • @TiffinyVaughn

    Who is threatened by it? This video is laughing at the whole idea of a prayer rally to solve political problems. That is our right.

    If you are a professor and have to work another 3 jobs to get by, that should tell you all you need to know about your political system and how fucked up it is. Change it - don't pander to your arsehole of an incomptent governor.

  • @TiffinyVaughn No, it's not their right unfortunately. Explicit statements regarding the separation of church and state deny it. Wasting time and resources to talk to the sky is a right, but not for leaders of the nation who we pay TAXES to. That's not representative of a large portion of the population, and is decidedly divisive. They can pray in private on their own time, but not on taxpayer time. Make sense? We are not threatened by 'prayer', we are threatened by misuse of office.

  • @TiffinyVaughn I'm calling you a liar. I do not believe you are any kind of college professor. Your writing is juvenile and I cannot believe you have a PhD on any subject. You are a liar.

  • @TiffinyVaughn

    But surely you would agree that it is not your right to quit all four of your jobs and ask your family to pray that God still delivers your paycheck anyways to support your family so you don't have to work.

  • @TiffinyVaughn

    No, I won't decide that I 'might' need God. I'll decide that I need to work my ass off to get the economy going.

  • @TiffinyVaughn You said "when the economy collapses like it did in Argentina", but in the same paragraph, you said that the prayer rally was a 'great success'. You have a strange metric of success! If the purpose of this fiasco was to fix the economy, the ongoing draught, and all the other issues which all continue today as if no one did anything about it (because they didn't) then I could only say that the prayer rally was a spectacular failure -especially if you say the economy is doomed.

  • @TiffinyVaughn Because you said so. Fear my god or else!!!

  • @TiffinyVaughn

    How is it that you alternate saying people should respect YOUR believes with "REPENT OF YOUR GODLESS WAYS!"

    Do you honestly not realize the hypocrisy of what you are saying?

  • @TiffinyVaughn And you are a teacher? Poor kids. Your moral is insane.

    Use the moral of the bible as a teacher and see the reactions.

    Don't care at all about the examine tests, just tell them that they must confess to you and love you,

    or you will not let them pass, regardless of their hard study work.

    That will make sense for you I guess. It will give them free choice to pass.

    A great leader use knowledge, not faith, but with a big religious majority of voters. they have no chance.

  • @TiffinyVaughn owned

  • jesus christ

  • @TiffinyVaughn Retard.

  • Brilliant!

  • Hey give the guy a break, it's easier to tell Republicans to pray than to tell them you're raising taxes.

  • This is great!

  • I will join you in said fapping while watching george carlin.....

    i dunno george is doing it for me today. i'm gonna go switch over to something else.

  • I will help America (I'm Canadian, so you owe us for what I will do). I will go to China and sleep with all the rich chinese women hoping they will be satisified enough to drop what the US owes them.

    Wish me luck.

  • @Warpmek I'll go to Japan and do the same. As a Canadian too I feel it's my -duty- to help reduce the US' Japanese debt and aid their women at the same time!

    =3

  • @TAz69x Excellent. Remember, we shall take the burden off our American brothers by sacrificing ourselves.

    Let's roll!

  • What a wonderful medley of rationality.

  • hey! you dumb sons of bitches! yeah you! in the stadium! god doesn't like what you're doing! THAT is why you are having a drought you morons! that is why you're bankrupt and crime ridden! don't you ever stop to think that the same misfortunes that have befallen texas are the same ones that god uses to punish people??? HE DOESN'T LIKE YOU! notice how massachusetts has never had a drought?? that's because we give people the healthcare they need to stop their suffering! you are being punished!!!!

  • Why don't all rational people make a respone to the respone called "The Responsible". it will be a day when we all gather together and acually do something useful.

  • The amazing Atheist is obnoxious. And I love AronRa, but sometimes he talks too fast.

  • '....by doing something unspeakable with this LARGE HUNTING KNIFE'

    HAHAhaa lost it there ! XD

  • As an atheist, I have to wonder that perhaps the best thing we could do is just stand back and watch, or perhaps even join in the prayer. I mean, the more people involved in this ridiculous project, the more it would underscore it's complete ineffectiveness. Right?

  • @sparkyjunk Islam...

    Sitting complacently on the sidelines with indifference or joining in delusion en masse can have devastating consequences!...

    Christianity is manifesting its destruction in much different ways in the United States; but to education, the economy, scientific research, wars, gay rights, abortion rights, etc.etc., it's MASSIVELY DESTRUCTIVE to contribute or enable such obvious psychosis to propagate insidiously and continue...

    Sam Harris is right, humanity needs logical unity

  • @TAz69x Agreed. I was just trying to make the point that these religious nutters, when the prayers don't work, will blame the atheists for 'praying' against them, or that not enough people prayed, etc.

  • If you're from the UK, go to your local MP's surgery and give him a hug. Even the expense-swindling toss rags are a boon compared to Perry!

  • @d0nttellhimpike

    Ha, it's true, makes you realise what we have in the UK isn't that bad afterall!

  • Tax Churches. Nothing but money making businesses that sell warm fuzzies to morons.

  • Magic 8 Ball>God/Prayer

  • so damn funny. I just wished i had a camcorder and made one video like this. I could think od countless of ways to solve the world's problems.

  • HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA­HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!11!1!!

    When that stuffed animal fell off the wall I choked on my drink u bastard!

  • OMG .. Only 24 Hours to go Before EVERYTHING IS GONNA BE OK AGAIN .. Just Like in The Good Old Days of "(wakki) Tabacci Plantations", LEADED PETROL and Slavery .. I am almost gonna wet myself ... If I get Any More Excited I May Just RAPTURE Myself .. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA !!

  • Actually, as far as the economy goes, prayer seems to be very effective. The economy continually (and boringly) goes through ups and downs. If you pray when it's down and then it goes up –as it surely will at some point– then you can say prayer did it.

    This is surely what's in Perry's mind. When the economy finally fixes itself, he'll come out saying prayer did it. It's an infallible plan.

  • I'm going to inseminate a virgin through dubious means to bring about the second coming of Jebus

  • @ThePuppyTurtle Are you the guy who called in on the Magic Sandwich? If so, congrats on rationalizing up a bit!

  • All hail Cat Drum Solo!

  • TJ, what are you talking about, the Onion has always been a news medium!

  • lulz at Rick Perry causing a lot of the problems then holding a prayer rally to solve them. He should be out of a job, he's been a complete failure as an administrator and has allowed vested interests to trump the needs of the people he's supposed to represent.

  • another thing you can do is ROTATE YOUR OWL!

    watch?v=9hBpF_Zj4OA&feature=fe­edu

  • Do the diabetics need to fast too?.. this could get ugly.

  • "Could you tell me my future?" Uncle Sam

    "I would but I can't read Chinese." Medium

    LMAO! before balling my eyes out. :/

  • I, for one, will -not- be picketing, protesting, or whatever while this ridiculous event goes on. What I'm going to do is volunteer my time at our local, secular homeless shelter in the morning; the Humane Society that afternoon. I will, in effect, demonstrate that actions speak louder than words, and actually DO something to help my fellow beings.

    To everyone who feels Perry is supremely inept, that his precious prayer event is ridiculous: do the same! Help your community on that day!

  • @Alisterwolf66 Perry is inept? Well, someone voted him in. If they get him out, what other crook are they going to elect? The large scale scaryness is beyond this guy. Somebody's in trouble. Who yuh gonna call?

  • I always enjoy a video that references the late great Douglas Adams...but only in the USA could a politician pull off a stunt like this and have any hope at all of staying in office for more than a day. In almost any other country he would be almost universally ridiculed, but apparently this guy aspires to be president..?

  • You know who prays and fasts? Muslims. Maybe Perry is actually a secret Muslim.

  • remember, if you have a problem with what is said here, BEAT THE CAT!!!