Other than everything else, I doubt they can speak chinese well. If they want to make this looks real, they should find some native speaker, like me. LOL
This is more like North Korea compared to China. But China is still a pretty fucked nation IMHO. Hell, I'm a Singaporean Chinese, and I hate both Singapore and China. So sue me.
first of all ,if you recieve a ticket in china ,you don't have to go to court ,the only thing you have to do is to pay it or to question the trafic police apartment ;
second of all ,if you talk about the dissatisfied of the goverment or law system with your neighbour you want be reported to the goverment even if some one report about that the goverment will just leave you alone because there are so many ppl talking about that everyday .
@sotauwa so the trueth is talking about dissatisfied of goverment here is ok ,but if anyone have any anti-goverment action or any moves to encourage anti-goverment action will be illegal.
i am pretty sure that this video will be treated anti-goverment action in china ,so ,there is no way this old man is living in china or he will be throw in jail .
That's very true. The onion is a piece of shit entertainment network that exaggerates the faults of countries for sensationalism. No doubt many dumb Americans will have taken this stuff seriously..
@berkshireee ....ok ok ok we understand you are chinese and like 99% of chinese you are overly nationalistic and chauvinist so of course you are pissed.... btw exaggeration and distortion of reality is one of many ways to make fun of something but nevermind if you are chinese you are certainly not very familiar with all that... comfort yourself by thinking that your country own our asses :-)
Wait..what? By saying that the onion exaggerates news, I'm now an ultra-nationalist and chauvinist? I'm against ALL such exaggerations, not just limited by how China is portrayed. Also, good job making sweeping generalizations about an entire country. First of all, I'm a Canadian, and you will see that Americans are no different if you go to any youtube video that says bad things about Americans. Have fun!
@berkshireee .. by saying "I'm against ALL such exaggeration" that mean you don't approve 90% of the humorous stuff, lucky for you there is still the Muppet Show, I hope it's not too hardcore and politically correct enough for you... with people like you we can't make fun of anything. Also I'm not sure it's really that much of an exaggeration. Watch the Onion News, it's nearly identical to what you can listen everyday on Fox. I'm no American btw.
@Ferior now secondly it is easily proven (in graph form/years/level of technology) that birth rate declines the more a populaces public learns/advances. the main reason behind this is that you no longer need 7 sons to pull plows you need 1 to operate the tractor. technology is the key, not fascist policies that force parents to murder babies so that they can try for 2. improving the economic standing of all chines would lower birth rate and help not hurt the country. to think otherwise is lunacy
@darkvision1 Yeah, but how long will it take to improve the economic standing of all Chinese? By that time they would be 7 billion. Not to mention that the more there are, the harder it is to get them all out of poverty. China and India are already overpopulated and corrupt politicians in the West are allowing a ton of that excess population to invade our countries.
@NoisemakerArrow how wrong you are, japan turned around in less than 20 years from a technological sink hole(their name was thought of as say Taiwan is thought of today), to a nation renowned for its technology. in that same time span the birth rate has plummeted way past even the US's when it used to be higher. While i dont think china should be rubber stamped democracy, a government that actually gives two shits about its people and their standard of living is a good, not bad thing.
@darkvision1 Technology doesn't mean education or wealth. And Chinese wages are going up, so some companies are already relocating to India, Bangladesh, Vietnam, etc. Most countries can meet the world's production demands, just not at the lowest possible price. When you don't give a shit about the workers or the environment, (or the customers who will get your toxic products) you can make stuff pretty cheaply. And the West has too much regulation and too high taxes, which chase capital out.
@Ferior your point is so utterly ridiculous its hard to figure out where to start. firstly this idea you have that hard work can only be done by the poor or that the chinese poors work is harder than say a miner in any part of the world. that is one of the nastiest, hardest jobs known to man, no matter your location, and america has vast coal deposits. this is just one example of where you are wrong. rest to follow
Hey u all stupid piece of shit, the video is not about the correctness of mandarin. It's about the translated english, making fun of the commie legal system.
These commies are just tryna distract us by such comments... :D
funny, it's like hearing someone speaking with a hot potato in his mouth after 9 rounds of tequila. First of all Chinese don't speak like that, google translate does. Second the woman said "Poyuan Wei", and behind it is written Mr Wei, u see, in chinese, always say the last name first. So I guess living in US this is the maximum level of Chinese language education you can get...
@Ferior firstly, your acting as if having a race survive longer than another is the true meaning of triumph. ok well blacks have been around longer so they win! i mean look at africa they have been around LONG before china great stuff they have their. mmm aids. secondly lack of natural resources? same with japan, its why its a great example of what COULD happen to china, if it quit treating its lower class like dirt. thirdly did i ever say i dislike the chinese? or having been their? no.
@Ferior ok i tried to post this all backwards so it should show up in reading order..guess we will see. i find this quite funny, i have been to china multiple times. I think its funny that you say the government doesnt care about the little people. your right,
@Ferior ive seen shacks built against the back of skyscrapers, the only safe food to eat is in places that have ties to america(mcdonalds, hard rock cafe etc) otherwise you stand the very real risk of getting sick, oh yeah and dont drink anything but bottled water and no ice. yes what a great place china is.
@Ferior in order to judge how great a country truly is one must not look at the top of society, but at the bottom, as it effects a great number more. just as if you were to look at americas "poor" our poor still live a better life than most upperclass of any other country(ive been to over 30 country's). in other words quality of life is a big issue in to what makes a country great. china, with the exception of hong kong,
@Ferior is not a great country, and even it has been falling on hard times since it re-became a part of china. positive way, while i have nothing against its people as a whole, i do not consider them great. an emerging power? yes. but their government is not good for them as it does leave the vast majority of the populace in enforced poverty. I also do realize that a lot of these things are changing for the chinese in a very
@Ferior but its more from outside pressure and information of the greater world outside their country that is forcing it because their populace is now demanding these things they never thought were their right before. to have basic health care, a chance to prosper from their efforts. also really to make a point as to why china has to/will change, lets take a good look at japan. they were much like the chinese, incessant wars, vast amounts of poverty, caste system etc.
@Ferior this is not to say they didnt have honor or were not noble. i truly do admire the japanse society and its ideals of perfection in everything they do, ive lived their and love the country and its people. but keep in mind this that is true for both japan AND china, at one point, before the persian empire was ever a dream, before the west had mastered steel work, china/japan were the most technologically advanced country's on the face of the planet.
@Ferior they were light years ahead of everyone else. yet instead of continuing to innovate they turned inward, and this has put china in its current position, and japan in the position that it once was in. by accepting the ways of the victor(in essence changing tactics) japan went from one of the technological backwaters of the world to a leader in technology.yet despite this their society is still very much their own.
@Ferior i am not saying all western ideas are good, or all chinese ideas bad. but their are some of both for both of us. finding them, and changing them will only strengthen china as a country. any patriot of any country should want that, so quite literally by trying to shun everything from the outside, all you do is hurt yourself. and yes america has gotten quite fond of doing this itself, though more through complacency and arrogance than say with china its tradition and arrogance.
@Ferior I think your reffering to someone else, I made no remark about "rotting". Also if you are not a communist I don't expect you to defend them (a little contradictary) Secondly, people should have the right to decide how they will be controlled. Yes, I agree that long term plans are never followed through but if we keep a party in power for too long they become unresponsive to the people. Why serve people that will vote for you either way?
@Ferior I'm going to take a guess that your either Chinese or a communist. fine by me, at least I get to vote for someone outside my party and have the worlds largest economy, and yes I am a very happy white boy. =)
This Chinese Andy Rooney is a salty curmudgeon not unlike our own Andy Rooney. May we all thoroughly enjoy his sarcastic and biting criticisms that are not aimed at the Chinese government.
A culture who eats companion animals on purpose without need is one that is forsaken by me, and I have no feelings or care for their sufferings because of that.
@hateutoo100 Dog meat is only eaten by a fraction of the Chinese people. Dogs are respected animals in the province where I live. And Karma's not real, don't believe in that.
There are currently 6 billion ppl in the world but ONNI claims to have 9 billion viewers; no wonder their outreach is 811 countries; it includes countries under extraterrestrial control!
@chinesekmt Indeed this is no laughing matter. It would be almost as offensive if they made fun of Chiang Kai-shek and how he imprisoned and killed over 100,000 people under his dictatorship in Taiwan, yes?
@soulhunter4444 Yeah I'm actually really impressed at how well they did it. Normally Mandarin to English speech transitions are very difficult to translate.
@Melohalo : Wouldn't you imagine that the ONN folks wrote the script in English first, then worked with the Mandarin speaking actors to translate the script, and then again, to make sure the on-screen translation was perfect?
Just another example of the fantastic production values The Onion puts into their work.
@soulhunter4444 lt's not the English translation that is right. It's the mandarin script that has been translated directly from English... So the subs are correct because they are the original script. Although the syntax are correct I can assure you, no one in China speak like that. Only chinese born and educated outside China speaks like that.
This is obviously bullshit! China is so fucked up! Everyone knows that the united states' government is the only infallible system on the planet. Everyone here has equal opportunity, specifically the lazy ass poor that choose to live in poverty.
That Chinese version of our Andy Rooney is an irascible old coot who is uncannily identical to our beloved scold. His funny opinions not about the PRC always manage to have me rolling upon the floor.
I fought China was a free country! yes, i know they're communist, but to my knowledge they have been progressively getting more and more relaxed under the rule of Deng Xiaoping, Zhao Ziyang and Jiang Zemin, I also have a Chinese friend and I have met a lot of Chinese and from what they told I think this video seriously exagerates the control the party has on the lives of everyday people. of course, being a satire it is expected to exaggerate. what I meant is that it exaggerates even for a satire
really? so why are people still getting executed based on their mistrust in the government? its still a dictatorship and people are still getting slaughtered just because of their beliefs! a single sentence can give you a few years in the pen in china!
Last I checked, everyone who has a separate opinion other than what the government agrees with is either imprisoned or executed. Seriously, what free government tells you how many kids you can have?
well, actually they dont tell them how many children they can have, they only encourage to have one child and discourage to have more than one(or two, I am not sure). frankly, the more children you have the more strain you're putting on the resources of this planet so I think it's normal they put a little on the people to have fewer children. They can choose to have more children, but have to pay something (or they dont receive financial aid I am not sure). So it's just harder to
Do you live there? Just wondering, nothing to do with what I'm about to say. I know a chinese immigrant who moved to the US SPECIFICALLY because he has a little brother. Why would an entire family uproot and move to another country and learn another language if having only one child was a suggestion? It's a law, an enforced law.
@Manofaction0 Technically, it's not illegal to have more than one kid. You just have to pay a fine. For some, that is a hassle. But for people out in the boondocks, they're more than willing to pay the fine to have another worker on the farm. In some cases, they name their kids after how much money they had to pay.
China is perfect. Mao The Unknown Story, is a lie! The PRC would never use forced viewing of executions and collective cannibalism to traumatize and domineer a society! What a disgusting lie! I agree with Montre16! China is more free then the U.S.A. While American's may say anything and follow any sexual or religious practice, in China factories are free to dump anything in the air, water, or soil. PLA companies have total freedom to use thirty million traitors to optimize production. THE 500
Ha! That really would be the day! I watch China's Andy Rooney every week and his fanciful, hilarious comments always keep me chuckling inbetween writing letters of praise to the People's Daily about our fair, effective and just Chinese government.
you and america both need new history teachers. communism would be a utopia if it worked the way that communists like to imagine it could. but even a TRUE communist system can't work, because individuals are ambitious and greedy. People need incentives to work. That's why capitalism works. We have never had a true CAPITALISTIC government either, because the lazy ones among us refuse to live in an unequal system where they have to be responsible for what they achieve.
haha you got THAT right. xD My cousin suffers the mundane life of public school, and did you know her history books have more information about Oprah than they do on the civil war? And that's not just her grade, my aunt decided to investigate, and found out MANY wars are left out of the history books, grades 1-12. Something about 'not wanting to give children negative images of America' or something stupid like that. :P
I have to say the onion might have gone too far on this. not because its a lie, because its too true. i could picture some chinese operation to take down the onion news now.
The Chinese professor I had said the same thing. He is quite passionate about his conviction that, apart from our political freedoms, we are nowhere near as free. According to him, basically nothing is off limits in China, as long as you don't question the government.
I'm very confused about China. It's like at times it is some sort of corrupt society trying to manipulate its people, other times it seems like a pleasant place. My friends live in China, and they don't have any complaints about it. Granted, they are missionaries, so perhaps they went there EXPECTING these sorts of things... I don't know. :P
Other than the fact that some things like "that's impossible" is translated as "it makes no sense"... yeah. The part about the refrigerators is funnier in Chinese than English for some reason =S
China is truely a joke. This could have been a real video made by them.
Their legal system is disgusting, and the constitution gives them rights that nobody enforces, and you'd go to jail for trying to demand.
I love the fact that they know they can't censor the truth from their people any more and yet still try to cling to their censors to try and prevent the internet from allowing people to realize their country is just a corrupt and inane farce. No freedoms
China is such a great country rich with history and culture but also with fragmentation. What the Chinese people have done for cohesiveness and autonomy is throw out the colonists and embrace an extreme attitude of kiss ass. This guy who calls himself a commentator is just a puppet. Very sad.
Canada is a pretty loopy country. While they do have moderate growth rates (which, most of the time, stagnate) which can compare to the United States. Most of this growth is in sacrifice for some pretty standard civil liberties we would currently hold in the United States. They also have a pretty poor track record on employment and their currency isn't very strong.
As far as Austria goes, typically the people in support at that time for Austrian economics frequently debated against the logical positivists of that time which claimed Marxism as a superior, more logical model since it addresses what they believe
811 countries...?
GingerJoberton 1 week ago
Other than everything else, I doubt they can speak chinese well. If they want to make this looks real, they should find some native speaker, like me. LOL
betterwang 1 month ago in playlist Season 1
@thefireflyau yeah i dont know what ttosky was talking about. he looks taiwanese
stunashv 2 months ago
I love how they rip on China so hard xD FREE AI WEIWEI! Commie PIGS! LMFAO!
cutiepatootie66 2 months ago
Bigger government is the answer. I for one welcome our new slave masters.
KernelSandersCheckin 3 months ago
the anchorwoman could get it in the worst way. I'd bet money her fcuk face is off the chain.
b0010100b 4 months ago in playlist More videos from TheOnion
That looks and sounds like the state run television in Libya, Syria, Yemen, and Egypt under the Mubarak administration.
Killur10 5 months ago
that man speaks chinese like shit... and he really look like japanese... the only funny thing is his fucked-up Mandarin.
ttosky 6 months ago
not funny at all
tracysorry 6 months ago
@Elias55G are you weak-minded?
LordKaisen 7 months ago
i cant understand his chinese....
haobo100 7 months ago
@haobo100 That's because all the languages except English are gibberish and made to sound like Chinese. But it's quit funny
SMGJohn 5 months ago
1:30 is the same logic the Americans use to kidnap people and lock them up in Guantanamo.
ManicParroT 7 months ago
@ManicParroT COming from a South African?
hundredand9 3 months ago
Funny thing the last thing he said is true
Adriangrosvenor 9 months ago
This is more like North Korea compared to China. But China is still a pretty fucked nation IMHO. Hell, I'm a Singaporean Chinese, and I hate both Singapore and China. So sue me.
recon0089 10 months ago 3
@recon0089 this has NOTHING on north korea dude.
lusteraliaszero 6 months ago
@recon0089 I'll see you in court.
SnoBlackMelbkour 3 months ago
@recon0089 ...i will...
TheYouwontgetit 2 months ago
first of all ,if you recieve a ticket in china ,you don't have to go to court ,the only thing you have to do is to pay it or to question the trafic police apartment ;
second of all ,if you talk about the dissatisfied of the goverment or law system with your neighbour you want be reported to the goverment even if some one report about that the goverment will just leave you alone because there are so many ppl talking about that everyday .
sotauwa 11 months ago
@sotauwa so the trueth is talking about dissatisfied of goverment here is ok ,but if anyone have any anti-goverment action or any moves to encourage anti-goverment action will be illegal.
i am pretty sure that this video will be treated anti-goverment action in china ,so ,there is no way this old man is living in china or he will be throw in jail .
sotauwa 11 months ago
@sotauwa
That's very true. The onion is a piece of shit entertainment network that exaggerates the faults of countries for sensationalism. No doubt many dumb Americans will have taken this stuff seriously..
berkshireee 10 months ago
@berkshireee ....this is called humor, ever heard of that in your country ??
F3FisGoodforYou 10 months ago
@F3FisGoodforYou
Good satire makes fun of reality-bad satire exaggerates it out of a desperate attempt to create fresh material.
berkshireee 10 months ago
@berkshireee ....ok ok ok we understand you are chinese and like 99% of chinese you are overly nationalistic and chauvinist so of course you are pissed.... btw exaggeration and distortion of reality is one of many ways to make fun of something but nevermind if you are chinese you are certainly not very familiar with all that... comfort yourself by thinking that your country own our asses :-)
F3FisGoodforYou 10 months ago
@F3FisGoodforYou
Wait..what? By saying that the onion exaggerates news, I'm now an ultra-nationalist and chauvinist? I'm against ALL such exaggerations, not just limited by how China is portrayed. Also, good job making sweeping generalizations about an entire country. First of all, I'm a Canadian, and you will see that Americans are no different if you go to any youtube video that says bad things about Americans. Have fun!
berkshireee 10 months ago
@berkshireee .. by saying "I'm against ALL such exaggeration" that mean you don't approve 90% of the humorous stuff, lucky for you there is still the Muppet Show, I hope it's not too hardcore and politically correct enough for you... with people like you we can't make fun of anything. Also I'm not sure it's really that much of an exaggeration. Watch the Onion News, it's nearly identical to what you can listen everyday on Fox. I'm no American btw.
F3FisGoodforYou 10 months ago
It's good to see Chinese satire for once. Even if it isn't actually in the PRC.
RenGader 11 months ago
0:01
chasna 11 months ago
lol!
vegetarian2000 11 months ago
My refrigerator is running perfectly fine today!
crunchyfrog2 1 year ago
I just got done cleaning my once filthy refrigerator, and i am proud to report that my refrigerator is now functioning without flaw. :P
Fleshy91 1 year ago
I love her voice, I listened to it over and over again :D
nulliplex 1 year ago
such a funny language shawashesheblahblahshesheuu
CUREZERO 1 year ago
@Ferior now secondly it is easily proven (in graph form/years/level of technology) that birth rate declines the more a populaces public learns/advances. the main reason behind this is that you no longer need 7 sons to pull plows you need 1 to operate the tractor. technology is the key, not fascist policies that force parents to murder babies so that they can try for 2. improving the economic standing of all chines would lower birth rate and help not hurt the country. to think otherwise is lunacy
darkvision1 1 year ago
@darkvision1 Yeah, but how long will it take to improve the economic standing of all Chinese? By that time they would be 7 billion. Not to mention that the more there are, the harder it is to get them all out of poverty. China and India are already overpopulated and corrupt politicians in the West are allowing a ton of that excess population to invade our countries.
NoisemakerArrow 1 year ago
@NoisemakerArrow how wrong you are, japan turned around in less than 20 years from a technological sink hole(their name was thought of as say Taiwan is thought of today), to a nation renowned for its technology. in that same time span the birth rate has plummeted way past even the US's when it used to be higher. While i dont think china should be rubber stamped democracy, a government that actually gives two shits about its people and their standard of living is a good, not bad thing.
darkvision1 1 year ago
@darkvision1 Technology doesn't mean education or wealth. And Chinese wages are going up, so some companies are already relocating to India, Bangladesh, Vietnam, etc. Most countries can meet the world's production demands, just not at the lowest possible price. When you don't give a shit about the workers or the environment, (or the customers who will get your toxic products) you can make stuff pretty cheaply. And the West has too much regulation and too high taxes, which chase capital out.
NoisemakerArrow 1 year ago
@Ferior your point is so utterly ridiculous its hard to figure out where to start. firstly this idea you have that hard work can only be done by the poor or that the chinese poors work is harder than say a miner in any part of the world. that is one of the nastiest, hardest jobs known to man, no matter your location, and america has vast coal deposits. this is just one example of where you are wrong. rest to follow
darkvision1 1 year ago
@Ferior You do know that all of them are human right? Saying humans will fail and then saying humans won't fail, doesn't quite work.
lisento 1 year ago
oh my freaking god, its perfectly translated
soo much win
1/2 chinese1/2 spanish dude here
MrGaKuTo 1 year ago
Hey u all stupid piece of shit, the video is not about the correctness of mandarin. It's about the translated english, making fun of the commie legal system.
These commies are just tryna distract us by such comments... :D
AbiKD 1 year ago
Sad
BLOODINTHECUP 1 year ago
This has been flagged as spam show
Fantastic clip
Some of my friend on
RENTAFRIEND. COM
told me about this. Really nice.
chastity7100 1 year ago
the funny thing is the mandarin is spoken at about 5th grade level....
neonaction 1 year ago
@neonaction then it offers an even better interpretation of the Chinese equivalent of US news networks.
ShrougerNite 1 year ago
not funny，at all
zjglfleo 1 year ago
@zjglfleo
It's only funny if you watch it in a free country.
Coribec 1 year ago
@Coribec
l live in Australia, FYI this is just a Chinese version of an old Russia joke.
zjglfleo 1 year ago 5
@Coribec There are none of those.
NoisemakerArrow 1 year ago
funny, it's like hearing someone speaking with a hot potato in his mouth after 9 rounds of tequila. First of all Chinese don't speak like that, google translate does. Second the woman said "Poyuan Wei", and behind it is written Mr Wei, u see, in chinese, always say the last name first. So I guess living in US this is the maximum level of Chinese language education you can get...
kaede15 1 year ago
@Ferior firstly, your acting as if having a race survive longer than another is the true meaning of triumph. ok well blacks have been around longer so they win! i mean look at africa they have been around LONG before china great stuff they have their. mmm aids. secondly lack of natural resources? same with japan, its why its a great example of what COULD happen to china, if it quit treating its lower class like dirt. thirdly did i ever say i dislike the chinese? or having been their? no.
darkvision1 1 year ago
@Ferior well thats becuase westerners dont treat thier citizens like expendable objects which can always be replaced...
AHighPwner 1 year ago
@Ferior ok i tried to post this all backwards so it should show up in reading order..guess we will see. i find this quite funny, i have been to china multiple times. I think its funny that you say the government doesnt care about the little people. your right,
darkvision1 1 year ago
@Ferior ive seen shacks built against the back of skyscrapers, the only safe food to eat is in places that have ties to america(mcdonalds, hard rock cafe etc) otherwise you stand the very real risk of getting sick, oh yeah and dont drink anything but bottled water and no ice. yes what a great place china is.
darkvision1 1 year ago
@Ferior in order to judge how great a country truly is one must not look at the top of society, but at the bottom, as it effects a great number more. just as if you were to look at americas "poor" our poor still live a better life than most upperclass of any other country(ive been to over 30 country's). in other words quality of life is a big issue in to what makes a country great. china, with the exception of hong kong,
darkvision1 1 year ago
@Ferior is not a great country, and even it has been falling on hard times since it re-became a part of china. positive way, while i have nothing against its people as a whole, i do not consider them great. an emerging power? yes. but their government is not good for them as it does leave the vast majority of the populace in enforced poverty. I also do realize that a lot of these things are changing for the chinese in a very
darkvision1 1 year ago
@Ferior but its more from outside pressure and information of the greater world outside their country that is forcing it because their populace is now demanding these things they never thought were their right before. to have basic health care, a chance to prosper from their efforts. also really to make a point as to why china has to/will change, lets take a good look at japan. they were much like the chinese, incessant wars, vast amounts of poverty, caste system etc.
darkvision1 1 year ago
@Ferior this is not to say they didnt have honor or were not noble. i truly do admire the japanse society and its ideals of perfection in everything they do, ive lived their and love the country and its people. but keep in mind this that is true for both japan AND china, at one point, before the persian empire was ever a dream, before the west had mastered steel work, china/japan were the most technologically advanced country's on the face of the planet.
darkvision1 1 year ago
@Ferior they were light years ahead of everyone else. yet instead of continuing to innovate they turned inward, and this has put china in its current position, and japan in the position that it once was in. by accepting the ways of the victor(in essence changing tactics) japan went from one of the technological backwaters of the world to a leader in technology.yet despite this their society is still very much their own.
darkvision1 1 year ago
@Ferior i am not saying all western ideas are good, or all chinese ideas bad. but their are some of both for both of us. finding them, and changing them will only strengthen china as a country. any patriot of any country should want that, so quite literally by trying to shun everything from the outside, all you do is hurt yourself. and yes america has gotten quite fond of doing this itself, though more through complacency and arrogance than say with china its tradition and arrogance.
darkvision1 1 year ago
ROFL Crystal meth use may be gateway to drugs taht are almost as dangerous. i laughed so hard
darkvision1 1 year ago
press to skip ads 0:01 oh and thumbs up
drakejoseph25 1 year ago
@Ferior I think your reffering to someone else, I made no remark about "rotting". Also if you are not a communist I don't expect you to defend them (a little contradictary) Secondly, people should have the right to decide how they will be controlled. Yes, I agree that long term plans are never followed through but if we keep a party in power for too long they become unresponsive to the people. Why serve people that will vote for you either way?
allwittynamestaken 1 year ago
@Ferior I'm going to take a guess that your either Chinese or a communist. fine by me, at least I get to vote for someone outside my party and have the worlds largest economy, and yes I am a very happy white boy. =)
allwittynamestaken 1 year ago
lol that's a good chinese andy rooney impression
TrygviMurt 1 year ago
This has been flagged as spam show
jrj4u.com
jayantasodekar 1 year ago
Yeah! Stick it to the man! Everyone get up, go to your window and respectfully state, "I'm content in hell and I'll gladly tolerate some more!"
Inediblehulk 1 year ago
I don't speak Mandarin, but listening to this guy, he reminds me of our Andy Rooney. I like this guy.
Seattlecarnut 1 year ago
Noooooo! Why is it in Chinese! I wanted to read the text at the bottom... :'(
Chibikyon13 1 year ago
0:01
lordbrixo 1 year ago
This Chinese Andy Rooney is a salty curmudgeon not unlike our own Andy Rooney. May we all thoroughly enjoy his sarcastic and biting criticisms that are not aimed at the Chinese government.
argozempo 1 year ago
this guy fits right in with the US GOP..hell they even share the same ideology
DaytonaRoadster 1 year ago
A culture who eats companion animals on purpose without need is one that is forsaken by me, and I have no feelings or care for their sufferings because of that.
Let them rot. It's karma, if karma is real.
hateutoo100 1 year ago
@hateutoo100 Dog meat is only eaten by a fraction of the Chinese people. Dogs are respected animals in the province where I live. And Karma's not real, don't believe in that.
ManjuSu 1 year ago
This has been flagged as spam show
The scrolling ticker as posted below:
-In UK, one family eats meals everyday with pony
-Gorrila becomes foster mum, raises white tiger cub
-Ex US official recalls 1st visit to China 30 years ago: Air stewardess shrieks upon seeing a camera
-Lonely young penguin takes plush toy as sworn brother
-"China's Fattest Kid" loses 240kg in 1 year for girlfriend
and also
-Most expensive bra priced at 5 million US dollars
ambaseman 1 year ago
true true....
alabader741 1 year ago
This just in...
Scientists report that cow's milk is one of the gateway foods leading to marijuana use.
Over 86% of marijuana smokers report having ingested milk regularly or at least once earlier in thier lives.
L00NGB00W 1 year ago 74
@L00NGB00W LOL...continue making joint...LOL
pete6851 1 year ago
@pete6851
That's the best Idea I've heard all day... =)
L00NGB00W 1 year ago
"...and I'd never be heard from again!" Har har har har!!!
estoywatchingvids 1 year ago 8
What the f is this Andy Rooney guy talking about
I just called my neihbor the other day and said how my damn fridge is working so well
argonne5 1 year ago 5
This has been flagged as spam show
Hey guys, Looking for latest movies? giapyroll{.}com , check them out, and drama series too
TheMrXerox 1 year ago
They're speaking actual chinese and it's transalated correctly?
The effort The Onion makes to entertain us.
DoubleGlog 1 year ago 28
@DoubleGlog He's actually speaking chinese.. Yeah, it's hilarious.
testavariceify 8 months ago
who reads the news crawl under the video? some of the funnier ones:
-In UK, one family eats meals everyday with pony
-Gorrila becomes foster mum, raises white tiger cub
-Ex US official recalls 1st visit to China 30 years ago: Air stewardess shrieks upon seeing a camera
-Lonely young penguin takes plush toy as sworn brother
-"China's Fattest Kid" loses 240kg in 1 year for girlfriend
catacrombec1 1 year ago 6
There are currently 6 billion ppl in the world but ONNI claims to have 9 billion viewers; no wonder their outreach is 811 countries; it includes countries under extraterrestrial control!
catacrombec1 1 year ago
People who don't know about Andy Rooney can't really appreciate this.
fosterslover 1 year ago
This shit is actually quite true, no laughing matter. What was said all reflects China does not have the rule of law.
chinesekmt 1 year ago 5
@chinesekmt ofcorse it is true. thats why its so funny
the facial expression on that guy at 0:38 saying you are a traitror is pure gold xD
ActiveStorage 1 year ago 2
@chinesekmt Indeed this is no laughing matter. It would be almost as offensive if they made fun of Chiang Kai-shek and how he imprisoned and killed over 100,000 people under his dictatorship in Taiwan, yes?
zhmzdl67zwxdsh 1 year ago
@zhmzdl67zwxdsh
uhh... come again?
Snnx27 1 year ago
I don't know what's funnier, the video or the comments from people who think this is real :D
Raverque 1 year ago
I speak Mandarin and I assure you that this is translated perfectly.
soulhunter4444 1 year ago 114
I, too, speak Mandarin. And all 152 languages that ONNI is broadcast in.
LithiumZ2 1 year ago 4
@soulhunter4444 Yeah I'm actually really impressed at how well they did it. Normally Mandarin to English speech transitions are very difficult to translate.
Melohalo 1 year ago
@Melohalo : Wouldn't you imagine that the ONN folks wrote the script in English first, then worked with the Mandarin speaking actors to translate the script, and then again, to make sure the on-screen translation was perfect?
Just another example of the fantastic production values The Onion puts into their work.
skeilak 1 year ago 3
@skeilak More than most regular American news networks, that's for sure. Haha!
Melohalo 1 year ago
@soulhunter4444 same here. but it isnt funny ._.|
DeltaPixel 1 year ago
@soulhunter4444 really?
Jormungandr69 1 year ago
@soulhunter4444 lt's not the English translation that is right. It's the mandarin script that has been translated directly from English... So the subs are correct because they are the original script. Although the syntax are correct I can assure you, no one in China speak like that. Only chinese born and educated outside China speaks like that.
kaede15 1 year ago
@soulhunter4444 Same here :D it should have more views XD
Holysam24 1 year ago
This is obviously bullshit! China is so fucked up! Everyone knows that the united states' government is the only infallible system on the planet. Everyone here has equal opportunity, specifically the lazy ass poor that choose to live in poverty.
randomxm1 1 year ago
your talking about opportunity to steal from the rich which is not really "equal opportunity" primarily because it discourages success
alkennick 1 year ago
@randomxm1 lol. this comment got a -5 rating? This is some dry sarcasm, but I caught it.
sleepstudent101 1 year ago
That Chinese version of our Andy Rooney is an irascible old coot who is uncannily identical to our beloved scold. His funny opinions not about the PRC always manage to have me rolling upon the floor.
argozempo 2 years ago
This comment has received too many negative votes show
Don't do drugs or you will end up as this two
They looks like jew
alhdjh 2 years ago
哈哈
busha5a5a5 2 years ago
I fought China was a free country! yes, i know they're communist, but to my knowledge they have been progressively getting more and more relaxed under the rule of Deng Xiaoping, Zhao Ziyang and Jiang Zemin, I also have a Chinese friend and I have met a lot of Chinese and from what they told I think this video seriously exagerates the control the party has on the lives of everyday people. of course, being a satire it is expected to exaggerate. what I meant is that it exaggerates even for a satire
bbphnix 2 years ago
really? so why are people still getting executed based on their mistrust in the government? its still a dictatorship and people are still getting slaughtered just because of their beliefs! a single sentence can give you a few years in the pen in china!
bzzbt 2 years ago 2
@bbphnix
Last I checked, everyone who has a separate opinion other than what the government agrees with is either imprisoned or executed. Seriously, what free government tells you how many kids you can have?
Manofaction0 2 years ago
@manofaction0
well, actually they dont tell them how many children they can have, they only encourage to have one child and discourage to have more than one(or two, I am not sure). frankly, the more children you have the more strain you're putting on the resources of this planet so I think it's normal they put a little on the people to have fewer children. They can choose to have more children, but have to pay something (or they dont receive financial aid I am not sure). So it's just harder to
bbphnix 2 years ago 3
raise more than one or two children, which is in tune to the fact that it is more difficult for the planet to support more people.
bbphnix 2 years ago
@bbphnix
Do you live there? Just wondering, nothing to do with what I'm about to say. I know a chinese immigrant who moved to the US SPECIFICALLY because he has a little brother. Why would an entire family uproot and move to another country and learn another language if having only one child was a suggestion? It's a law, an enforced law.
Manofaction0 2 years ago
@Manofaction0 Technically, it's not illegal to have more than one kid. You just have to pay a fine. For some, that is a hassle. But for people out in the boondocks, they're more than willing to pay the fine to have another worker on the farm. In some cases, they name their kids after how much money they had to pay.
323guiltyspark 1 year ago
China has nothing to do with whether a communist or capitalist system, it is just simple politics, what it is a dictatorship government.
chinesekmt 1 year ago
China is perfect. Mao The Unknown Story, is a lie! The PRC would never use forced viewing of executions and collective cannibalism to traumatize and domineer a society! What a disgusting lie! I agree with Montre16! China is more free then the U.S.A. While American's may say anything and follow any sexual or religious practice, in China factories are free to dump anything in the air, water, or soil. PLA companies have total freedom to use thirty million traitors to optimize production. THE 500
ElucidateProductions 2 years ago
@ElucidateProductions oh boy here that guys china is better than the usa becouse they can freely polute thats awsome really here's a fucking lolipop
kk4texas 2 years ago
@kk4texas
He was being sarcastic.
Manofaction0 2 years ago
You are free as long as you don't mention something negative about the goverment ;)
Ben1728 2 years ago
That's generally how communism works :p
Sting3733 2 years ago 2
811 countries? 9 billions viwers?
axedrecista 2 years ago
it's not funny
irwinshing 2 years ago
Ha! That really would be the day! I watch China's Andy Rooney every week and his fanciful, hilarious comments always keep me chuckling inbetween writing letters of praise to the People's Daily about our fair, effective and just Chinese government.
bretp99 2 years ago 6
they can't even speak chinese properly, grammar and syntax problems all over the place
DyingElement 2 years ago
Examples? I don't know more than a few words of Chinese, but I'd be interested to know what in particular is incorrect in this video.
montre16 2 years ago
that was definitely proper chinese.
sixthfore 2 years ago 3
if your grumbling at the syntax, then i think youve missed the point of the video completly.
superjeff14 2 years ago 2
I can close my eyes and understand what they are saying in Mandarin. The Mandarin they speak is proper.
iiaiiappa 2 years ago
super pervert,
you and america both need new history teachers. communism would be a utopia if it worked the way that communists like to imagine it could. but even a TRUE communist system can't work, because individuals are ambitious and greedy. People need incentives to work. That's why capitalism works. We have never had a true CAPITALISTIC government either, because the lazy ones among us refuse to live in an unequal system where they have to be responsible for what they achieve.
instereovideos 2 years ago 4
haha you got THAT right. xD My cousin suffers the mundane life of public school, and did you know her history books have more information about Oprah than they do on the civil war? And that's not just her grade, my aunt decided to investigate, and found out MANY wars are left out of the history books, grades 1-12. Something about 'not wanting to give children negative images of America' or something stupid like that. :P
Aaron2071 2 years ago 2
oh jeez.
hail big brother eh?
deoradude 2 years ago
xD pretty much.
Aaron2071 2 years ago
this is briallant
thegreekmatt 2 years ago
それだから、中国は こわいだね。
I have to say the onion might have gone too far on this. not because its a lie, because its too true. i could picture some chinese operation to take down the onion news now.
42connorzielinski42 2 years ago
most Chinese people are happy with their government. I bet more Americans are unhappy with their government than Chinese...
racistable 2 years ago
The Chinese professor I had said the same thing. He is quite passionate about his conviction that, apart from our political freedoms, we are nowhere near as free. According to him, basically nothing is off limits in China, as long as you don't question the government.
montre16 2 years ago
MAN !!! that Chinese woman is soo HOTTTT!!!!
LuciusSuperbus 2 years ago 2
ehm.. no man.. .... no
RavnoUK 2 years ago
I'm very confused about China. It's like at times it is some sort of corrupt society trying to manipulate its people, other times it seems like a pleasant place. My friends live in China, and they don't have any complaints about it. Granted, they are missionaries, so perhaps they went there EXPECTING these sorts of things... I don't know. :P
Aaron2071 2 years ago
laugh while you can, if america doesnt stop voting communists in to power, we will be the same way soon.
candjcalhoun 2 years ago
I bet this video is censored on youtube in China.
323guiltyspark 2 years ago 9
I thought youtube was censored in China. o.O
Aaron2071 2 years ago
this isn't on youtube in china, this is an american spoof.
instereovideos 2 years ago
what he said all is fake.
likexuan1980 2 years ago
this stupid man
all shit in his mouth
likexuan1980 2 years ago
epic
just
epic
mrphilthify 2 years ago 3
The Onion actors are very funny.
heilong79 2 years ago 2
The actors at FOX are pretty funny also
ram1s4ever 2 years ago 36
Man, I love the onion.
Acidslash 2 years ago
Best ONN so far.
Niyou77 2 years ago 2
Lol, and you would think the Onion makes false translations. In fact it's pretty accurate.
nrox653 2 years ago 3
Other than the fact that some things like "that's impossible" is translated as "it makes no sense"... yeah. The part about the refrigerators is funnier in Chinese than English for some reason =S
nrox653 2 years ago 3
Satire works because there is an element of truth.
hyalitemar 2 years ago 8
You may call it satire on communism but it would also contain satire on the false and over-simplified image of China we have in the western media.
dAvrilthebear 2 years ago 9
Please disregard this comment, it was ment for another Onion video on China.
I should also say, this guy is pretty touching - and he does Andy Rooney very well!
dAvrilthebear 2 years ago 3
is this the offensive one?
erbeesr 2 years ago
I'm not used to all this reading :(
cocoacreek 2 years ago 4
Isn't that the old guy from 60 minutes who talks about crap nobody gives a shit about?
zombiecancer888 2 years ago 11
This is actually pretty real - wouldn't be funny if you lived there - Olympics had lipstick on for visitors.
3martijns 2 years ago 5
China is truely a joke. This could have been a real video made by them.
Their legal system is disgusting, and the constitution gives them rights that nobody enforces, and you'd go to jail for trying to demand.
I love the fact that they know they can't censor the truth from their people any more and yet still try to cling to their censors to try and prevent the internet from allowing people to realize their country is just a corrupt and inane farce. No freedoms
jadabingoadf 2 years ago
What good will your criticism bring to China?
TheGreenerItGets 2 years ago
i wonder if the chinese was the same as the translation?
poopyhead25 2 years ago 2
It actually is :D
Osuronohito 2 years ago
it actually is :P
stonewitch 2 years ago
It was, I'm studying it out here in Cali right now, and it's even more lollable when you can understand it.
WCdragoninja 2 years ago
Some how I get the feeling that 10-15 years ago this movie would have been less of a joke and more a factual account:O
SnowmanPhil 2 years ago 2
China has a censorship on the Internet, there is a filter for every ISP, tell me that it would be true only 10-15 yrs ago :[
chieffw 2 years ago
Sometimes I just don't get that its joke, like some arrogant mental midgets on Youtube, not to name names.
isolationblues 2 years ago
The funniest thing is that none of it was falsely dubbed... He really was saying what he was saying...
LoktaVolterra7 2 years ago
China is such a great country rich with history and culture but also with fragmentation. What the Chinese people have done for cohesiveness and autonomy is throw out the colonists and embrace an extreme attitude of kiss ass. This guy who calls himself a commentator is just a puppet. Very sad.
isolationblues 2 years ago
um, it's a joke?
franzjoseph88 2 years ago 3
Canada is a pretty loopy country. While they do have moderate growth rates (which, most of the time, stagnate) which can compare to the United States. Most of this growth is in sacrifice for some pretty standard civil liberties we would currently hold in the United States. They also have a pretty poor track record on employment and their currency isn't very strong.
Offatwork 2 years ago
Our currency took over your currency, so...
DudeHuge 2 years ago
At least that's how I, Austrian Economics and Chicago-style economics sees it.
Offatwork 2 years ago
As far as Austria goes, typically the people in support at that time for Austrian economics frequently debated against the logical positivists of that time which claimed Marxism as a superior, more logical model since it addresses what they believe