If your only comment is about how chewing with your mouth open is disgusting... then this whole message just went "WHOOSH" over your head... (and you shouldn't be in any relationship because you're too stupid to know an analogy by example).
No settling down without settling for? Now I suppose the majority end up in crappy relationships with the redeeming quality of love being the strong enough thread that just holds two people together despite this and that, but some people manage to find someone with whom they are just about 100% compatible, and it isn't because they maintain "the lie" forever. With this dismal point of view, why not just have 2 month relationships and move on? I can't settle, it's counter-intuitive.
@AdamRainStopper That 100% feeling might just be you inadvertently looking beyond your partner's shortcomings, flaws, or discrepancies in tastes and lifestyles. Dan's point is that no one is going to be perfect, and there is always going to be something to accept and look past if you want to be happy with someone for longer than two months.
@ColonelNebulous 100% compatibility doesn't mean 100% perfection on the part of either party. It means that my girlfriend and I have flaws, some of mine are fatal flaws to most of society, but she understands how it came to be that I am what I am as well as who I am. She loves the flaws, as do I (hers not mine). The "good" and "bad" are the building blocks of a whole person. When you love the entirety of someone, it isn't because you look past anything, it's because you love everything.
all i can say is wow....i am a heterosexual woman from the conservative state of maine and i love, love, love, this- you said it kid; we are all in this together and we all have to compromise, and love is right there if you Accept it; embrace the little piccadilos we have & be glad we love them enough to relax and enjoy with- i love love this- thanx for this
Thank you!!! You mentioned the Seinfeld problem: A show that inundated the country with encouraging self-sabotaging behavior. "Man Hands" "Are they implants"? The entire show was about self-sabotage and sabotaging your friends.
The number one problem with that show, and relationship forming today: The idea that there is a flawless person out there.
Please visit my channel for the unpopular truth about homosexuality.
A person does not need hatred or any kind of phobia in order to acknowledge important differences between heterosexual attraction / behavior / marriage / adoption and homosexual attraction / behavior / marriage / adoption. Even non-religious people know this.
Homosexual activists, with support from the media, have succeeded at framing themselves as noble victims; it's an effective way to push a social agenda.
@lightandbeautiful - I didn't understand what you said in the cryptic message above so I visited your website; now I do. I think you need to devote yourself to a few decades of meditation and hermitage and reading before you can consider yourself to have any qualifications above and beyond espousing opinions on the weather. Your naivete is poisonous.
My girlfriend just told me that she didn't use to be not jealous. Then when we began dating, she decided that she wasn't going to be jealous if for example i looked at another woman in the beginning of our relationship. But then she got stuck in living that lie that she doesn't care. But at some point, she legitimately stopped caring if I looked at another woman and she learned to truly trust me. This idea is really true.
You should never settle for anyone, this is how so many people get into relationships where they are suppressing their feelings instead of dealing with it.
I personally think its fucking disgusting to chew with your mouth open and i do tell people, strangers or not, that it is gross.
I would not date someone who could not at least have an attitude that "oh, you think its gross? perhaps i should fix that", as i would also expect someone to tell me if i was doing something nasty.
@JoshReflek Agreed. There's definitely some wisdom in this video. But there's gotta be a balance between having impossible standards and too low of standards.
@JoshReflek I'm chewing with my mouth open right now. Reaching behind my molars with my fingers to get all that mushy stuff unstuck so I can re-chew it.
@TuttiSolo It's a running gag in Seinfeld that Jerry (the character) keeps entering into extreamly short term relationships which he ends for stupid reasons like having huge hands and being too much like him.
Though I was wondering what Dan says exactly- "rejecting women because she has man hands?" or "man hair"? Doesn't really matter either way, you've given me the jist. :)
On the show "Seinfeld" the main character, Jerry Seinfeld, often breaks up with his girlfriends for the most asinine superficial bullshit reasons. The epitome of this is when he breaks up with a woman because he chose to make a joke about her belly saying "hello" when she specifically said the relationship could not go on if he continued to make the joke at her expense.
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wtf ... i looked up people saying long words on youtube and it came up as a gay guy talking about relationships and how much eayser it is to just put the mayonase away your self insted of yelling at someone els to do it ??
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What the fuck does this inarticulate white hypocrite faggot know about when someone's parents are going to come around? Please shut the fuck you piece of hypocritical misogynist shit. "Boohoooooo I'm a faggot I don't have the right to marry, where's my white Irish privilege?!!!" This guy is so full of disgusting hate of women b/c he doesn't have a vagina. This 55 yo asshole retard "sex columnist" hacks off people who are smart & repeats it. Wow dude, how white of you. What a fucking hack.
THE ONE is a myth. Taken further, monogamy, especially for gay men, is a myth. Dan's implicit promotion of pairing in the vein of heterosexual marriage supports the latter myth. However, I appreciate his skill in gently demystifying relationships. He's a greater presenter.
I'll respectfully disagree with the notion that monogamy is a myth. I think that, while perhaps not the best fit for everyone, it is certainly a viable form of a relationship. In one of his other presentations, Dan talked about polyamorous relationships in the same way: Not for everyone, and certainly not for him, but viable for the people who can make it work.
Wow Dan "Amico Mio" the most admirably visible, champion to my mind, activist for not only queer(LGBT/gay) rights and privileges, but for all marginalized peoples! And a giver of practical,"Adult" or grown up if you will, advice on healthy relationships to boot? Grazie "Dan" we all love and admire you so much!!!
I cry whenever I hear you speak. You are a true inspiration and often are the only thing that keeps me sane. Thank you for everything you do and know that at least one person respects you as a truly good person. I hope one day the world will be as understanding and realistic about relationships as you are.
This guy is GREAT -- he's telling the absolute truth, in no uncertain terms !!
I learned about "The Price of Admission" the hard way with my first partner, and only after he passed away did I realize that HE was doing that for ME !!
So now I am passing the benefit of that life-learned experience on to my current partner ... farts-in-front-of-each-other and milk-left-on-the-counter inclusive !!
To quote a line from 'the Sunscreen Song'- Don't be careless with other peoples hearts, don't put up with people who are careless with yours. And remember-"I'm sorry" only means something if you DON'T DO IT AGAIN. It's not a free pass to keep doing shitty things to people which are somehow o.k. as long as you keep saying I'm sorry after you do them. It don't work that way and should never be accepted as such. Somewhere there's a universe where I accept that bullshit but it's not this one.
@darrenholcomb42 Well, to be honest, you need top learn that which you think is bullshit, and what they think is BS. Because, you need ot learn how to LEARN from the partner, and then teach him about you in the relationship
If you put up with a person shit for so long, how would you determine if they're put-up-with-able? Where do the annoying habbits go from harmless to intolerable?
@doolan008 Does that mean you're okay with lesbians?
That particular line doesn't say anything about 'don't do it at all' it just says 'a man shall not lay with another man, the way he would with a woman'. So, no vagina sex for the gay men, who generally seem to think vaginas are icky anyway. Or it means if you're going to have sex with women and men, recognise that it's two different sets of play equipment. It's like a cryptic karma sutra.
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Homosexuality which likewise is condemned in Scripture. The Apostle Paul, writing by inspiration of the Holy Spirit, declares that homosexuality "shall not inherit the kingdom of God" (I Corinthians 6:9; 10). Now Paul does not single out the homosexual as a special offender. He includes fornicators, idolators, adulterers, thieves, covetous persons, drunkards, revilers and extortioners.
Paul likely suffered from migraine auras that were attributed to "the holy spirit." He twisted his own mental garbage into a Mein Kampft against sexuality.
Paul likely suffered from migraine auras that were attributed to "the holy spirit." He twisted his own mental garbage into a Mein Kampf against sexuality.
@dolan008 What's up with posting all of this Christianity myth bullshit? If there was a Jesus, he would absolutely tolerate and love every single person...straight or gay, heterosexual or homosexual.
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@joshpembers ...........It is the act of one man haveing sex with another Man that is the sin. Rea your Bible an you will know the answers your looking for!! There is goo reason why it is a sin for one man to lay with another. A Very good reason too!!
@dolan008 I am personally much more interested in having sex with other men, rather than reading or studying the book of ancient myths called the bible. Please stop telling me how to act or think.
@joshpembers Your much more interested in having sex with other men, because your too chicken shit to have sex with a real Woman. The cowardly way out is with another man. How do you even sleep at night!! You have had this problem since childhood...RIGHT?
I have my "one"...one with a history of relationship disasters (many in our own relationship), one who teaches our kids to say horrifyingly embarrassing things at playgroup...but is a great Dad and my best bud. Love him forever.
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Can you beleive how much a JERK this Guy is, He is so phony and when he opens his mouth real stupid crap comes out. He ia a walking lie!! How can you listen to him!!
@dolan008 Well thought out and presented argument. Your evidence, and cited examples of said lies have been clearly presented. I award you an internet cookie, and I will subscribe to your newsletter, as your thoughts are intriguing.
If you find the "love of your life," don't try to change him. If you do manage to change something of him you don't like. Guess what? It might also change what made you fall in love with him in the first place. Always except him for who he is and what he is about, then there should be no big surprises in the future.
@HeartTheBacon It's not so much an lie as it is an allegorical state of mind; where two people acknowledge each other's humanity (including flaws) and are willing to look past it and become actively a better person for it..
It's much like a faith or religion that contains only 2 members; yourself and your partner. Just about every religion promotes an amount of gratitude, generosity and selflessness. A successful relationship requires the same thing.
I guess the real issue here is, why do so many people who apparently are completely incapable of a “long term relationship” or monogamy, desire such a relationships? I think that just like sexual orientation, the capacity for monogamy or polygamy or anything in between, is something we are born with. We can’t really change it even if we want to. I guess it would be much healthier if we wouldn’t desire something that we are not.
@eldadevata "the capacity for monogamy or polygamy or anything in between, is something we are born with." I disagree. Relationships are difficult, no one is born with all the social skills/relationship skills they will ever have. You can want something before you know how to get it. You can want something and still have to make compromises to get it. You can be monogamous and still be illogical in some ways.
@PriscillaRelentless I have to disagree as well. Just as one is not able to chose the gender/s he is attracted to, he cannot chose if he is attracted to one person at a time or many. The problem comes when people who are obviously unable to commit themselves, try to do it because of various reasons. Because of their parents, because of culturally indoctrinated monogamy, because they think that by lying they can retain their partner while having relationships with others as well, etc.
@eldadevata I think almost everyone, even those who prefer monogamous relationships, still experience attraction to others. Monogamy has certain pros and cons, just as non-monogamy does. I've been in open relationships and I'm even in an open marriage now. But I know it doesn't necessarily make things easier. In many ways, it makes things more complicated, more challenging. So I can understand that not everyone will be up for taking on all those challenges.It's a matter of personal choice(cont)
@eldadevata (cont 2) it's all a matter of what you want and what you're willing to sacrifice or not sacrifice to get it. Someone may like the idea of having an open relationship, but they might also discover that it's not worth the extra challenges and effort for them. Unfortunately, I don't think it's as simple as being born perfectly suited for monogamy or being born perfectly suited for non-monogamy.
@PriscillaRelentless I tend not to believe in anything that transcends the biological reality. Just as people are good at some things by nature, some are good at sustaining one relationships, while others many. Some are so called serial monogamous, that is they stay with one person at a time, but change it every 1-3 years. I was never good at open relationships, at multiple relationships. Even though I think that monogamy is a flawed sexual and socialising strategy, I can’t help but be one.
And, having said that, I have to be prepared as well to be by myself. And since I have absolutely no problem with that, the other person better have something to bring to my life, otherwise I'd MUCH rather stay all by myself. Hence, My list of prerequisites to meet, in order to be eligible for a relationship with me is definitely longer than 5 items yet below 10. And I don't have issues with that.
@vetdetta Are you asking for yourself or the other? Im missing your point of asking, I'm afraid but even so I'm willing to reply for both situations. What I bring to the table becomes relevant for the person Im involved with. No one else. And about the list, well, it's something both me and that person should work out shouldnt we?
@elprimerorey I guess the issue with the list is, that when you concentrate on what you want from the other, people often miss what they already gain from the other. In life, often we want things because we think, we imagine that those things would make us happy. And it’s usually not true. Life is much larger than what we expect it to be. This is true probably due to our limited brain capacities as an individual. I think that were attraction and commitment work hand in hand, we can compromise.
@eldadevata : True, because of a subtle difference in note I may have not underlined clearly enough. I don't concentrate on things I want from another, because there is not anything another can give me that I cannot give myself.. For starters. However, I mix and match based on weighed criteria what I definitely don't want. And then I talk about it. And decide based on the outcome.
I fully agree, if having a relationship is your ultimate goal, what for me Dan's pretty much implying that is the case for everyone., in this clip, at least.
My ultimate goal in life is to realize myself.
I will always be open for relationships, whether platonic or romantic, which supports me in this regard, and reciprocal/Vice versa as well, because it's not only about me/my wants. Yet, I owe this commitment to myself even if I'm not in any relationship, and all relationships end, eventually.
@elprimerorey I don't think he said anything that suggested having a relationship should be the ultimate goal. All he's saying is IF you want to have a long term relationship, you have to be willing to accept certain compromises. A long term relationship can be A goal without being "the ultimate goal."
@PriscillaRelentless Well, implying that someone who has a list of dealbreakers longer than 5 ( @ 0.23) should get a sex robot suggests to me that having a LTR is the ultimate goal, as I miss the alternative to stay by oneself for a longer time, maybe forever. I could stay by myself for a longer time without a sex robot, thanks very much:)
@elprimerorey I think you're reading way too much into that comment. Besides, The question was from someone who apparently did want a more long term relationship, or he wouldn't have been concerned about his relationships only lasting two months at a time. The answer may not be relevant to you, it was never intended to be. It is relevant to the person asking the question.
@PriscillaRelentless While this is undoubdetly true, my advice, iso Dan's, would have been: EIther cut down on the list, or prepare to wait for a long time, especially, since Dan replies to a whole audience to the question of this individual And as part of the audience, empowered to react I'm just doing so.
If Dan were doing 1 on 1 counseling it would've been a different matter, because then he'd be pretty quick in finding out the importance of the list vs the relationship need for this person
@elprimerorey The answer speaks specifically to people who are looking for a long term relationship, but haven't been able to have one because they're being too picky. I don't think every question could be relevant to every person in the audience. I don't think "be prepared to wait for a long time" would have been a very honest answer. The truth is, if you're too picky, you might never get the long term relationship you're looking for. (cont)
@PriscillaRelentless Now, the answer being directed specifically to people looking for a LTR is an assumption that was never specified by Dan, so it's unfounded if you ask me. Because if it was I would have agreed 100% with him. And while between ' waiting around for a long time' and ' MIGHT never get the long-term there might be a nuance difference, essentially both indicate a possibility, or not, to find a LTR. My point is simply that I don't need to settle and accept for (Cont)
@elprimerorey It doesn't have to be specified by Dan because the question gives us the context. It's a question written by someone who's upset because his relationships don't last very long. It would be redundant to say that the answer is relevant to people who want long term relationships. Of course it is, what else could it be?
@PriscillaRelentless He/ she would still need to make the choice about cutting down the list or staying by him/ herself for a while.. So it is not redundant according to me.
@PriscillaRelentless Anything that comes my way just for the sake of having a LTR. because equally to people who will never find " the one" I know People who will settle for anything, and then wonder why they attract the " wrong one" in their life, which is essentially because they cannot be by themselves, which is in 90% of the cases caused by lack of self esteem and self- love. I think I have worded my concerns clear enough, and will retire myself from this discussion. Thanks for the feedback.
@elprimerorey I think you're thinking of this in extremes. Obviously you shouldn't settle for "anything." No one said anything the that effect. Making compromises, especially in regards to the most superficial aspects, can hardly be equated with "settling for anything."
@PriscillaRelentless I'm not the one thinking in extremes. Wrong assumption 2. I gave this example to show that there ARE 2 extremes between which each of us should find our way.
@elprimerorey you're ignoring the context. Of course Dan Savage knows that people don't need to be in relationships, or be monogamous. Dan is always telling people to stay single when they need to, and he's got to be non-monogamy's biggest chearleader. I wouldn't assume that everytime he gives and answer that's specific to gay people that it's indicative of an anti-heterosexual viewpoint. But as soon as he addresses someone's who's looking for a LTR, you assume the equivalent?
@PriscillaRelentless I hope it's clear now, because contrary to my principles I found myself repeating myself and talking in circles, unfortunately. This will be my final statement, further comments or reactions will not be read or reacted upon.
@elprimerorey "further comments or reactions will not be read or reacted upon."
To the entire youtube community: I don't know why some people say this. If you wish to exit a conversation, you can just do that. You don't need to announce it, let alone announce it more than once. Which makes even less sense.
@elprimerorey (cont 2) I meet people all the time who whine about getting older and not being able to find "the one," but continue to cling to this long list of petty "dealbreakers", in an ever shrinking dating pool. I don't think any of them are going to find the gorgeous fashion model who cooks, cleans,provides and never does anything they find irritating, no matter how long they hold out.
@elprimerorey The other issue with the list, is not how many pre-eligibility criteria you have. It really doesn’t matter if it’s 5 or 500. The issue is how superficial these desires or expectations are. It tends to be an empirical truth that relationships do break up easily when your expectations are not essential and most importantly they reflect what you miss from your own life. I guess his theory could serve many. But I don’t think it’s essentially about numbers.
@eldadevata : I acknowledge there's truth in what you're saying, however if we take one example: hypocrisy is anything I'm not and/ or miss from my life, as you can imagine, and so there are more. This is just a random example. The list is not absolute, yet it's a combination of criteria I'm personally more or less sensitive to, and so it will vary for everyone, as it's a subjective matter.
I have a pretty big list of deal breakers, but they're not little things like, "omg if he has split endz I am SO not datin him!" they're like, "If one of his life goals requires him to be away for long periods of time and he doesn't plan to take me with him where he goes..."
Hmm who would have suspected that someone as potty-mouthed as Dan Savage of Georgia Street "Savage Love" fame would be so perceptive about the nature of love. All that's missing is the observation that myths are truer than facts or faults. Lets hear it for couple mythology!!!!!
This is a broad-based excuse for rationalization, judgment-free, normative-free, (less five reasons) long-term excuse for having a relationship just for the sake of having a relationship. If you love that person and you have some pet-peeve issues you can work on them TOGETHER. A fantasy relationship: That's really great! You only have one life to live and if you want to live in make-believe fairy tales then I suggest living in the Matrix. Perfection doesn't exist but communication must occur.
This is a broad-based excuse for rationalization, judgment-free, normative-free, (less five reasons) long-term excuse for having a relationship just for the sake of having a relationship. If you love that person and you have some pet-peeve issues you can work on them TOGETHER. A fantasy relationship: That's really great! You only have one life to live and if you want to live in make-believe fairy tales then I suggest living in the Matrix. Perfection doesn't exist but communication must occur.
This is awesome. Not just because it's one of the most realistic explanations of how love works in long-term relationships, a conundrum that many adults still can't grasp, but because the next question it leads into starts off as "SOMETIMES MY BUTT HUR-"
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"I don't need marriage: civil unions are what we are all about." Elton John. Radical extremists could learn a LOT from Elton, who has said he's about "building bridges." Why anger those of faith NEEDLESSLY, when civil unions AFFORD gays ALL OF THE RIGHTS of marriage, without inflaming people recklessly? Why press for something that could SLOW all of the gains gays have made, the FREEDOM to live without fear of arrest and the assaults gays USED to suffer? People like Savage IS BURNING bridges!
Um, yes. Why press for your basic rights, when it upsets the idiots? Make compromises with those who say you don't have the right to exist, just like to make compromises between food that sustains you, and poison which kills you.
First of all, your statement is incorrect. Civil unions are NOT equivalent to marriages in terms of rights.
Secondly, why are "those of faith" angered NEEDLESSLY over the private lives of others? They could just turn their heads or close their fucking eyes if homosexual relationships bother them so much. If there's a movie I don't like, I don't go around beating up the director or protesting it. I just DON'T SEE IT. Homophobics should learn to have the same courtesy.
If your only comment is about how chewing with your mouth open is disgusting... then this whole message just went "WHOOSH" over your head... (and you shouldn't be in any relationship because you're too stupid to know an analogy by example).
romanval69 2 days ago
No settling down without settling for? Now I suppose the majority end up in crappy relationships with the redeeming quality of love being the strong enough thread that just holds two people together despite this and that, but some people manage to find someone with whom they are just about 100% compatible, and it isn't because they maintain "the lie" forever. With this dismal point of view, why not just have 2 month relationships and move on? I can't settle, it's counter-intuitive.
AdamRainStopper 1 week ago
@AdamRainStopper That 100% feeling might just be you inadvertently looking beyond your partner's shortcomings, flaws, or discrepancies in tastes and lifestyles. Dan's point is that no one is going to be perfect, and there is always going to be something to accept and look past if you want to be happy with someone for longer than two months.
ColonelNebulous 1 week ago
@ColonelNebulous 100% compatibility doesn't mean 100% perfection on the part of either party. It means that my girlfriend and I have flaws, some of mine are fatal flaws to most of society, but she understands how it came to be that I am what I am as well as who I am. She loves the flaws, as do I (hers not mine). The "good" and "bad" are the building blocks of a whole person. When you love the entirety of someone, it isn't because you look past anything, it's because you love everything.
AdamRainStopper 1 week ago
Jesus, this is fucking brilliant!
PapaMagnum 1 week ago
How true :)
With a bit of work of both sides and if both sides are mostly compatible then it works. If you seek perfection.. oh you stay alone.
masticina 2 weeks ago
Dan Savage has everything figured out. Just... fucking everything.
Spo8 1 month ago
if someone chewing with their mouth open is the price of admission then that ride isnt worth enjoying. fucking disgusting habit
frostytheaussie 1 month ago
There's a 0.9 or so
gamerunknown 1 month ago in playlist Dan Savage
This has been flagged as spam show
@macunaima more like national rump ranger..
RedEyedSniperGuy 2 months ago
This is amazing. Brilliant, sound, reasoned... I felt the light of epiphany going on in my head.
Thank you, thank you, thank you : )
FantasmaBAnco 2 months ago 4
all i can say is wow....i am a heterosexual woman from the conservative state of maine and i love, love, love, this- you said it kid; we are all in this together and we all have to compromise, and love is right there if you Accept it; embrace the little piccadilos we have & be glad we love them enough to relax and enjoy with- i love love this- thanx for this
freedom1234573 2 months ago 2
Thank you!!! You mentioned the Seinfeld problem: A show that inundated the country with encouraging self-sabotaging behavior. "Man Hands" "Are they implants"? The entire show was about self-sabotage and sabotaging your friends.
The number one problem with that show, and relationship forming today: The idea that there is a flawless person out there.
SecondMarlowe 3 months ago 4
This has been flagged as spam show
Please visit my channel for the unpopular truth about homosexuality.
A person does not need hatred or any kind of phobia in order to acknowledge important differences between heterosexual attraction / behavior / marriage / adoption and homosexual attraction / behavior / marriage / adoption. Even non-religious people know this.
Homosexual activists, with support from the media, have succeeded at framing themselves as noble victims; it's an effective way to push a social agenda.
lightandbeautiful 3 months ago
@lightandbeautiful - I didn't understand what you said in the cryptic message above so I visited your website; now I do. I think you need to devote yourself to a few decades of meditation and hermitage and reading before you can consider yourself to have any qualifications above and beyond espousing opinions on the weather. Your naivete is poisonous.
keithcausey 3 months ago 3
Switch back and forth between 6 and 7 really fast.
yentalin12345 3 months ago
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vsvs81 4 months ago
The leaving the mayo out is cute; chewing with your mouth open makes me sick.
eswyatt 4 months ago
My girlfriend just told me that she didn't use to be not jealous. Then when we began dating, she decided that she wasn't going to be jealous if for example i looked at another woman in the beginning of our relationship. But then she got stuck in living that lie that she doesn't care. But at some point, she legitimately stopped caring if I looked at another woman and she learned to truly trust me. This idea is really true.
Kruezoraxe 4 months ago
This should be required viewing for everyone before they graduate high school. Would save a lot of relationships.
Kruezoraxe 4 months ago
this is exactly how I feel. Hope it happens to me soon.
alishamallen 4 months ago
Dan , my beloved great love of my life farts when we have sex. When you love a man there is a lot you can get over!
RImusclebear 5 months ago
1:06 thought it was buffering
Timelapselife 5 months ago
smart fucking man
DUHFUNKIEPURPLEHIPPO 5 months ago 3
So much wisdom in this short video, this beats all the stupid magazines, books and quotes.
HaamSapTjai 5 months ago 5
You should never settle for anyone, this is how so many people get into relationships where they are suppressing their feelings instead of dealing with it.
I personally think its fucking disgusting to chew with your mouth open and i do tell people, strangers or not, that it is gross.
I would not date someone who could not at least have an attitude that "oh, you think its gross? perhaps i should fix that", as i would also expect someone to tell me if i was doing something nasty.
JoshReflek 5 months ago
@JoshReflek Agreed. There's definitely some wisdom in this video. But there's gotta be a balance between having impossible standards and too low of standards.
lifeadventurer8 5 months ago
@JoshReflek I'm chewing with my mouth open right now. Reaching behind my molars with my fingers to get all that mushy stuff unstuck so I can re-chew it.
PicklesReallySuck 5 months ago
@PicklesReallySuck Are you trying to turn my stomach?
Is it that you hate when people tell you to stop being gross in public, and you're taking it out on me?
This is why you don't get invited to nice places, like my house.
JoshReflek 5 months ago
@JoshReflek Nobody cares about going to your house Josh.
PicklesReallySuck 5 months ago
@JoshReflek I think either you missed the point of what he was saying.
stetsonblade 5 months ago
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! WHY DOES HIS/HER BUTT HURT?!?!!?!!!
I3L4NK 5 months ago 9
Enjoying this, but what does he say about Jerry Seinfeld at 3:15 ? "With him constantly rejecting women because..."
TuttiSolo 5 months ago
@TuttiSolo It's a running gag in Seinfeld that Jerry (the character) keeps entering into extreamly short term relationships which he ends for stupid reasons like having huge hands and being too much like him.
ProgShell 5 months ago
@ProgShell Thanks.
Though I was wondering what Dan says exactly- "rejecting women because she has man hands?" or "man hair"? Doesn't really matter either way, you've given me the jist. :)
TuttiSolo 5 months ago
@TuttiSolo hey he said because of man hands. I've seen all the seinfeld episodes haha. That one is a good one:)
esmeraIda 5 months ago
@TuttiSolo
On the show "Seinfeld" the main character, Jerry Seinfeld, often breaks up with his girlfriends for the most asinine superficial bullshit reasons. The epitome of this is when he breaks up with a woman because he chose to make a joke about her belly saying "hello" when she specifically said the relationship could not go on if he continued to make the joke at her expense.
PrimoKarim 5 months ago 2
thanks dan,
after several years of separate households, i am learning the price of admission every day since the one moved into my house.
you are a beacon in the fog sir!
jim
bosj 6 months ago
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wtf ... i looked up people saying long words on youtube and it came up as a gay guy talking about relationships and how much eayser it is to just put the mayonase away your self insted of yelling at someone els to do it ??
JazzminJailbreak 6 months ago
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What the fuck does this inarticulate white hypocrite faggot know about when someone's parents are going to come around? Please shut the fuck you piece of hypocritical misogynist shit. "Boohoooooo I'm a faggot I don't have the right to marry, where's my white Irish privilege?!!!" This guy is so full of disgusting hate of women b/c he doesn't have a vagina. This 55 yo asshole retard "sex columnist" hacks off people who are smart & repeats it. Wow dude, how white of you. What a fucking hack.
TruthSpeaker1010 6 months ago
@TruthSpeaker1010 Go fuck yourself, you stupid breeder.
14359081 6 months ago
He´s like a well of common sense. Wich is a scarce resourse in this world.
DaluZwasUnavailable 6 months ago 5
I'd fuck him
signed, a straight man
Kruezoraxe 6 months ago 6
The wedding cake is a lie...
TheEccentricKitty 6 months ago 2
Dan Savage is the fucking man
mistax2k 6 months ago 4
THE ONE is a myth. Taken further, monogamy, especially for gay men, is a myth. Dan's implicit promotion of pairing in the vein of heterosexual marriage supports the latter myth. However, I appreciate his skill in gently demystifying relationships. He's a greater presenter.
bostonviewer 7 months ago
@bostonviewer
I'll respectfully disagree with the notion that monogamy is a myth. I think that, while perhaps not the best fit for everyone, it is certainly a viable form of a relationship. In one of his other presentations, Dan talked about polyamorous relationships in the same way: Not for everyone, and certainly not for him, but viable for the people who can make it work.
aerotan 6 months ago 3
@GreenDay00926 That is absolutely true..
PollockQT 7 months ago
@dansavage
Ciao Bello!
Wow Dan "Amico Mio" the most admirably visible, champion to my mind, activist for not only queer(LGBT/gay) rights and privileges, but for all marginalized peoples! And a giver of practical,"Adult" or grown up if you will, advice on healthy relationships to boot? Grazie "Dan" we all love and admire you so much!!!
Il Suo Amico Per Sempre!!!
Blaine
blainebill39 7 months ago
@Tokorai lol
ALIroxCIA 7 months ago
@RonnieLola Really now? 14 years in a relationship, poodle kid and all, and you think he knows nothing. You really are something arent you :)
ALIroxCIA 8 months ago 5
@ALIroxCIA Cute, no?
RonnieLola 8 months ago
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RonnieLola 8 months ago
@RonnieLola That was informative, thanks. /snark
EDOfyingFilms 8 months ago
Dan Savage is a national treasure.
macunaima 8 months ago 52
@macunaima I absolutely agree, and, if you don't mind me saying, it was time that there was one that everybodyy can rely to...
kroschfoenigin 8 months ago
I can honestly say, I have less deal breakers than i have fingers on one hand.
hanasuru 9 months ago
Sometimes my butt hur- oh don't clap!
Tokorai 9 months ago 144
I cry whenever I hear you speak. You are a true inspiration and often are the only thing that keeps me sane. Thank you for everything you do and know that at least one person respects you as a truly good person. I hope one day the world will be as understanding and realistic about relationships as you are.
wkaraful 9 months ago 2
I love you too Dan Savage!!
Billy C.
Washington, DC
cullbill 10 months ago 3
I LOVE you Dan Savage! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU
evesjrr 10 months ago 4
I so relate and learned this a while back, the price of admission, we have been together for going on 16 years.!
wbworkout 10 months ago
haha, now I want to see the next question :P
l9i7y5r 11 months ago
im with my man toghether for 15 years .. and all i can say ... is......this guy is sooooo true !!!
Furrydandy 11 months ago
I love you Dan xD
DarkGaarafan17 11 months ago
Your B/F Terry is gorgeous - your such a lovely pair : )
trevortrevortsr2 11 months ago
WHY CAN'T YOU GET SUCH GOOD ADVICE FROM STRAIGHT MEN???
PollockQT 11 months ago 5
@PollockQT BECAUSE HE'S GAY, and also because he figures you can do this.
antoineralic01 11 months ago
@dolan008 No one wants to hear your outdated/irrelevant/mistranslated life advice.
Look at just 60 years ago in the US. Blacks and whites didn't go to school together.
We've dropped that.
Your methods/advice are MUCH older and that much more ridiculous.
masochistmonkey 11 months ago
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(¯`v´¯) .`•.¸.•´
♥ ¸.•
DakkuDakkuChannel 11 months ago
I was just thinking of Jerry Seinfeld, too! Haha! Good call. : )
WeisseEdelweiss 11 months ago
Dan Savage is seriously the best. he's really incredible
Aicirt8 11 months ago
this may be the best advice ever.
PixySix 11 months ago
this helped me so much--thank you
pblenski 1 year ago
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Taopuppy 1 year ago
This guy is GREAT -- he's telling the absolute truth, in no uncertain terms !!
I learned about "The Price of Admission" the hard way with my first partner, and only after he passed away did I realize that HE was doing that for ME !!
So now I am passing the benefit of that life-learned experience on to my current partner ... farts-in-front-of-each-other and milk-left-on-the-counter inclusive !!
Rock on, Dan !!!
:-)
Erredmek 1 year ago 3
the ideal lie he's talking about: objet petit a
baermtn 1 year ago
@baermtn Damn! We got a Lacanian in the house!
ThisSentenceIsFalse 1 year ago
To quote a line from 'the Sunscreen Song'- Don't be careless with other peoples hearts, don't put up with people who are careless with yours. And remember-"I'm sorry" only means something if you DON'T DO IT AGAIN. It's not a free pass to keep doing shitty things to people which are somehow o.k. as long as you keep saying I'm sorry after you do them. It don't work that way and should never be accepted as such. Somewhere there's a universe where I accept that bullshit but it's not this one.
darrenholcomb42 1 year ago
@darrenholcomb42 Well, to be honest, you need top learn that which you think is bullshit, and what they think is BS. Because, you need ot learn how to LEARN from the partner, and then teach him about you in the relationship
antoineralic01 11 months ago
how do you know when a bad habbit is stepping too far? When do the "annoying masnerisms" turn into the "disrespectful acts"?
5hape5ter 1 year ago
@5hape5ter YOU have to draw that line for yourself. I would suggest you look at the reaction you get to requests that your partner change a habit:
"Would you please put your dirty laundry in the hamper instead of on the floor?"
A sheepish apology for being a slob sounds like s/he's a keeper.
A disinterested "Uh-huh" suggests you have issues.
"Jeezuz, will you stop nagging me?!" says you're not compatible.
Don't assign motives that may not be there; communicate calmly about the problem first.
carmium 1 year ago
If you put up with a person shit for so long, how would you determine if they're put-up-with-able? Where do the annoying habbits go from harmless to intolerable?
5hape5ter 1 year ago
HOORAY! THANK YOU! This should be required for all 12 year olds to watch... perhaps with less swearing, but still I love the message!
riverbeauty3 1 year ago
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riverbeauty3 1 year ago
beautiful
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criseldaprangehkg 1 year ago
@doolan008 Does that mean you're okay with lesbians?
That particular line doesn't say anything about 'don't do it at all' it just says 'a man shall not lay with another man, the way he would with a woman'. So, no vagina sex for the gay men, who generally seem to think vaginas are icky anyway. Or it means if you're going to have sex with women and men, recognise that it's two different sets of play equipment. It's like a cryptic karma sutra.
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HarpreetIsabel 1 year ago
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Homosexuality which likewise is condemned in Scripture. The Apostle Paul, writing by inspiration of the Holy Spirit, declares that homosexuality "shall not inherit the kingdom of God" (I Corinthians 6:9; 10). Now Paul does not single out the homosexual as a special offender. He includes fornicators, idolators, adulterers, thieves, covetous persons, drunkards, revilers and extortioners.
dolan008 1 year ago
Paul likely suffered from migraine auras that were attributed to "the holy spirit." He twisted his own mental garbage into a Mein Kampft against sexuality.
Sveiksmobile 1 year ago 4
Paul likely suffered from migraine auras that were attributed to "the holy spirit." He twisted his own mental garbage into a Mein Kampf against sexuality.
Sveiksmobile 1 year ago
@dolan008 Are you a machine, or a human being? Because you posted the same comment on every video by this guy.
arachnophile01 1 year ago
@dolan008 go away FREAK!!!
NATEandtheMONKEY 1 year ago
@dolan008 What's up with posting all of this Christianity myth bullshit? If there was a Jesus, he would absolutely tolerate and love every single person...straight or gay, heterosexual or homosexual.
joshpembers 1 year ago 2
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@joshpembers ...........It is the act of one man haveing sex with another Man that is the sin. Rea your Bible an you will know the answers your looking for!! There is goo reason why it is a sin for one man to lay with another. A Very good reason too!!
dolan008 1 year ago
@dolan008 I am personally much more interested in having sex with other men, rather than reading or studying the book of ancient myths called the bible. Please stop telling me how to act or think.
joshpembers 1 year ago 2
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@joshpembers Your much more interested in having sex with other men, because your too chicken shit to have sex with a real Woman. The cowardly way out is with another man. How do you even sleep at night!! You have had this problem since childhood...RIGHT?
dolan008 1 year ago
he's such a good relationship adviser!! I love his talks!!
phantomsuccour 1 year ago
This is good for every person, gay or straight.
TMBrd89 1 year ago 2
I have my "one"...one with a history of relationship disasters (many in our own relationship), one who teaches our kids to say horrifyingly embarrassing things at playgroup...but is a great Dad and my best bud. Love him forever.
CanacaGuanaca 1 year ago
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dan savage is a faggot
amicusnemini 1 year ago
@amicusnemini and what are you?
only2go2000 1 year ago
@only2go2000 im straight, so...
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omasanidinuka 1 year ago
I am glad you are still in the world. "Savage Love" was one of my favourite collums.
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LeliaBnhyi 1 year ago
If it's a flaw, fix it.
If you don't think it's a flaw, I won't touch it.
Really?
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hiedipaola 1 year ago
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Can you beleive how much a JERK this Guy is, He is so phony and when he opens his mouth real stupid crap comes out. He ia a walking lie!! How can you listen to him!!
dolan008 1 year ago
@dolan008 Well thought out and presented argument. Your evidence, and cited examples of said lies have been clearly presented. I award you an internet cookie, and I will subscribe to your newsletter, as your thoughts are intriguing.
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jonekazepotan 1 year ago
THAT WAS FUCKING BEAUTIFUL
optoomistic 1 year ago 93
If you find the "love of your life," don't try to change him. If you do manage to change something of him you don't like. Guess what? It might also change what made you fall in love with him in the first place. Always except him for who he is and what he is about, then there should be no big surprises in the future.
dwc1992 1 year ago
oh great first is the cake a lie and now is THE ONE a lie too?
HeartTheBacon 1 year ago
@HeartTheBacon It's not so much an lie as it is an allegorical state of mind; where two people acknowledge each other's humanity (including flaws) and are willing to look past it and become actively a better person for it..
It's much like a faith or religion that contains only 2 members; yourself and your partner. Just about every religion promotes an amount of gratitude, generosity and selflessness. A successful relationship requires the same thing.
romanval69 1 year ago
I guess the real issue here is, why do so many people who apparently are completely incapable of a “long term relationship” or monogamy, desire such a relationships? I think that just like sexual orientation, the capacity for monogamy or polygamy or anything in between, is something we are born with. We can’t really change it even if we want to. I guess it would be much healthier if we wouldn’t desire something that we are not.
eldadevata 1 year ago
@eldadevata totally agree here. Do not desire something you can't even give yourself, let alone give another.
elprimerorey 1 year ago
@eldadevata "the capacity for monogamy or polygamy or anything in between, is something we are born with." I disagree. Relationships are difficult, no one is born with all the social skills/relationship skills they will ever have. You can want something before you know how to get it. You can want something and still have to make compromises to get it. You can be monogamous and still be illogical in some ways.
PriscillaRelentless 1 year ago
@PriscillaRelentless I have to disagree as well. Just as one is not able to chose the gender/s he is attracted to, he cannot chose if he is attracted to one person at a time or many. The problem comes when people who are obviously unable to commit themselves, try to do it because of various reasons. Because of their parents, because of culturally indoctrinated monogamy, because they think that by lying they can retain their partner while having relationships with others as well, etc.
eldadevata 1 year ago
@eldadevata I think almost everyone, even those who prefer monogamous relationships, still experience attraction to others. Monogamy has certain pros and cons, just as non-monogamy does. I've been in open relationships and I'm even in an open marriage now. But I know it doesn't necessarily make things easier. In many ways, it makes things more complicated, more challenging. So I can understand that not everyone will be up for taking on all those challenges.It's a matter of personal choice(cont)
PriscillaRelentless 1 year ago
@eldadevata (cont 2) it's all a matter of what you want and what you're willing to sacrifice or not sacrifice to get it. Someone may like the idea of having an open relationship, but they might also discover that it's not worth the extra challenges and effort for them. Unfortunately, I don't think it's as simple as being born perfectly suited for monogamy or being born perfectly suited for non-monogamy.
PriscillaRelentless 1 year ago
@PriscillaRelentless I tend not to believe in anything that transcends the biological reality. Just as people are good at some things by nature, some are good at sustaining one relationships, while others many. Some are so called serial monogamous, that is they stay with one person at a time, but change it every 1-3 years. I was never good at open relationships, at multiple relationships. Even though I think that monogamy is a flawed sexual and socialising strategy, I can’t help but be one.
eldadevata 1 year ago
(¯`v´¯) .`•.¸.•´ ♥ ¸.•´¸.•´¨) ¸.•*¨) Great clip!!!!
Goggy021 1 year ago 78
Thank you Dan!!! I mean it this is absolutely true!
sunflyer40 1 year ago
This really is the most important information about relationships you'll ever hear.
TheMonkeypicked 1 year ago
12 people dont understand relationships.
RedGrobo 1 year ago 3
Amazing post - cheers Dan
trevortrevortsr2 1 year ago
And, having said that, I have to be prepared as well to be by myself. And since I have absolutely no problem with that, the other person better have something to bring to my life, otherwise I'd MUCH rather stay all by myself. Hence, My list of prerequisites to meet, in order to be eligible for a relationship with me is definitely longer than 5 items yet below 10. And I don't have issues with that.
elprimerorey 1 year ago
@elprimerorey wow, and what do you bring to the table? I sure hope that person's list isn't as long as yours....
vetdetta 1 year ago
@vetdetta Are you asking for yourself or the other? Im missing your point of asking, I'm afraid but even so I'm willing to reply for both situations. What I bring to the table becomes relevant for the person Im involved with. No one else. And about the list, well, it's something both me and that person should work out shouldnt we?
elprimerorey 1 year ago
@elprimerorey I guess the issue with the list is, that when you concentrate on what you want from the other, people often miss what they already gain from the other. In life, often we want things because we think, we imagine that those things would make us happy. And it’s usually not true. Life is much larger than what we expect it to be. This is true probably due to our limited brain capacities as an individual. I think that were attraction and commitment work hand in hand, we can compromise.
eldadevata 1 year ago
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elprimerorey 1 year ago
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@eldadevata : True, because of a subtle difference in note I may have not underlined clearly enough. I don't concentrate on things I want from another, because there is not anything another can give me that I cannot give myself.. For starters. However, I mix and match based on weighed criteria what I definitely don't want. And then I talk about it. And decide based on the outcome.
elprimerorey 1 year ago
I fully agree, if having a relationship is your ultimate goal, what for me Dan's pretty much implying that is the case for everyone., in this clip, at least.
My ultimate goal in life is to realize myself.
I will always be open for relationships, whether platonic or romantic, which supports me in this regard, and reciprocal/Vice versa as well, because it's not only about me/my wants. Yet, I owe this commitment to myself even if I'm not in any relationship, and all relationships end, eventually.
elprimerorey 1 year ago
@elprimerorey I don't think he said anything that suggested having a relationship should be the ultimate goal. All he's saying is IF you want to have a long term relationship, you have to be willing to accept certain compromises. A long term relationship can be A goal without being "the ultimate goal."
PriscillaRelentless 1 year ago
@PriscillaRelentless Well, implying that someone who has a list of dealbreakers longer than 5 ( @ 0.23) should get a sex robot suggests to me that having a LTR is the ultimate goal, as I miss the alternative to stay by oneself for a longer time, maybe forever. I could stay by myself for a longer time without a sex robot, thanks very much:)
elprimerorey 1 year ago
@elprimerorey I think you're reading way too much into that comment. Besides, The question was from someone who apparently did want a more long term relationship, or he wouldn't have been concerned about his relationships only lasting two months at a time. The answer may not be relevant to you, it was never intended to be. It is relevant to the person asking the question.
PriscillaRelentless 1 year ago
@PriscillaRelentless While this is undoubdetly true, my advice, iso Dan's, would have been: EIther cut down on the list, or prepare to wait for a long time, especially, since Dan replies to a whole audience to the question of this individual And as part of the audience, empowered to react I'm just doing so.
If Dan were doing 1 on 1 counseling it would've been a different matter, because then he'd be pretty quick in finding out the importance of the list vs the relationship need for this person
elprimerorey 1 year ago
@elprimerorey The answer speaks specifically to people who are looking for a long term relationship, but haven't been able to have one because they're being too picky. I don't think every question could be relevant to every person in the audience. I don't think "be prepared to wait for a long time" would have been a very honest answer. The truth is, if you're too picky, you might never get the long term relationship you're looking for. (cont)
PriscillaRelentless 1 year ago
@PriscillaRelentless Now, the answer being directed specifically to people looking for a LTR is an assumption that was never specified by Dan, so it's unfounded if you ask me. Because if it was I would have agreed 100% with him. And while between ' waiting around for a long time' and ' MIGHT never get the long-term there might be a nuance difference, essentially both indicate a possibility, or not, to find a LTR. My point is simply that I don't need to settle and accept for (Cont)
elprimerorey 1 year ago
@elprimerorey It doesn't have to be specified by Dan because the question gives us the context. It's a question written by someone who's upset because his relationships don't last very long. It would be redundant to say that the answer is relevant to people who want long term relationships. Of course it is, what else could it be?
PriscillaRelentless 1 year ago
@PriscillaRelentless He/ she would still need to make the choice about cutting down the list or staying by him/ herself for a while.. So it is not redundant according to me.
elprimerorey 1 year ago
@PriscillaRelentless Anything that comes my way just for the sake of having a LTR. because equally to people who will never find " the one" I know People who will settle for anything, and then wonder why they attract the " wrong one" in their life, which is essentially because they cannot be by themselves, which is in 90% of the cases caused by lack of self esteem and self- love. I think I have worded my concerns clear enough, and will retire myself from this discussion. Thanks for the feedback.
elprimerorey 1 year ago
@elprimerorey I think you're thinking of this in extremes. Obviously you shouldn't settle for "anything." No one said anything the that effect. Making compromises, especially in regards to the most superficial aspects, can hardly be equated with "settling for anything."
PriscillaRelentless 1 year ago
@PriscillaRelentless I'm not the one thinking in extremes. Wrong assumption 2. I gave this example to show that there ARE 2 extremes between which each of us should find our way.
elprimerorey 1 year ago
@elprimerorey you're ignoring the context. Of course Dan Savage knows that people don't need to be in relationships, or be monogamous. Dan is always telling people to stay single when they need to, and he's got to be non-monogamy's biggest chearleader. I wouldn't assume that everytime he gives and answer that's specific to gay people that it's indicative of an anti-heterosexual viewpoint. But as soon as he addresses someone's who's looking for a LTR, you assume the equivalent?
PriscillaRelentless 1 year ago
@PriscillaRelentless I hope it's clear now, because contrary to my principles I found myself repeating myself and talking in circles, unfortunately. This will be my final statement, further comments or reactions will not be read or reacted upon.
elprimerorey 1 year ago
@elprimerorey "further comments or reactions will not be read or reacted upon."
To the entire youtube community: I don't know why some people say this. If you wish to exit a conversation, you can just do that. You don't need to announce it, let alone announce it more than once. Which makes even less sense.
PriscillaRelentless 1 year ago
@elprimerorey (cont 2) I meet people all the time who whine about getting older and not being able to find "the one," but continue to cling to this long list of petty "dealbreakers", in an ever shrinking dating pool. I don't think any of them are going to find the gorgeous fashion model who cooks, cleans,provides and never does anything they find irritating, no matter how long they hold out.
PriscillaRelentless 1 year ago
@elprimerorey The other issue with the list, is not how many pre-eligibility criteria you have. It really doesn’t matter if it’s 5 or 500. The issue is how superficial these desires or expectations are. It tends to be an empirical truth that relationships do break up easily when your expectations are not essential and most importantly they reflect what you miss from your own life. I guess his theory could serve many. But I don’t think it’s essentially about numbers.
eldadevata 1 year ago
@eldadevata : I acknowledge there's truth in what you're saying, however if we take one example: hypocrisy is anything I'm not and/ or miss from my life, as you can imagine, and so there are more. This is just a random example. The list is not absolute, yet it's a combination of criteria I'm personally more or less sensitive to, and so it will vary for everyone, as it's a subjective matter.
elprimerorey 1 year ago
Isn't it nice the way he smiles when talking about his boyfriend? He does the same thing when he talks about his son too.
Taopuppy 1 year ago 3
This is beautiful.
Radiobed 1 year ago 3
I have a pretty big list of deal breakers, but they're not little things like, "omg if he has split endz I am SO not datin him!" they're like, "If one of his life goals requires him to be away for long periods of time and he doesn't plan to take me with him where he goes..."
Necrolitica 1 year ago
: I love Dan Savage !!
Espen414 1 year ago
lmao at the next question: "Sometimes my butt hurts..."
SeraphSanctum 1 year ago 18
@SeraphSanctum As he said, there's no settling down without some settling for lol
I don't really know much about the issue, so maybe it's just a matter of practice lol
PollockQT 11 months ago
So beautiful
SketchyBack 1 year ago
Hmm who would have suspected that someone as potty-mouthed as Dan Savage of Georgia Street "Savage Love" fame would be so perceptive about the nature of love. All that's missing is the observation that myths are truer than facts or faults. Lets hear it for couple mythology!!!!!
christofdagreat 1 year ago
If you break up with people for these frivolous "reasons", you have no one but yourself to blame for your being single.
jeromeqi 1 year ago
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This is a broad-based excuse for rationalization, judgment-free, normative-free, (less five reasons) long-term excuse for having a relationship just for the sake of having a relationship. If you love that person and you have some pet-peeve issues you can work on them TOGETHER. A fantasy relationship: That's really great! You only have one life to live and if you want to live in make-believe fairy tales then I suggest living in the Matrix. Perfection doesn't exist but communication must occur.
zzbear 1 year ago
This is a broad-based excuse for rationalization, judgment-free, normative-free, (less five reasons) long-term excuse for having a relationship just for the sake of having a relationship. If you love that person and you have some pet-peeve issues you can work on them TOGETHER. A fantasy relationship: That's really great! You only have one life to live and if you want to live in make-believe fairy tales then I suggest living in the Matrix. Perfection doesn't exist but communication must occur.
zzbear 1 year ago
This is awesome. Not just because it's one of the most realistic explanations of how love works in long-term relationships, a conundrum that many adults still can't grasp, but because the next question it leads into starts off as "SOMETIMES MY BUTT HUR-"
lennyisnumberone 1 year ago 5
Gays are not asking your damned permission! They are demanding their constitutional rights that are NOT yours to "allow"!
SeattleRexx 1 year ago
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"I don't need marriage: civil unions are what we are all about." Elton John. Radical extremists could learn a LOT from Elton, who has said he's about "building bridges." Why anger those of faith NEEDLESSLY, when civil unions AFFORD gays ALL OF THE RIGHTS of marriage, without inflaming people recklessly? Why press for something that could SLOW all of the gains gays have made, the FREEDOM to live without fear of arrest and the assaults gays USED to suffer? People like Savage IS BURNING bridges!
prophetbyronmotley 1 year ago
@prophetbyronmotley
-
Um, yes. Why press for your basic rights, when it upsets the idiots? Make compromises with those who say you don't have the right to exist, just like to make compromises between food that sustains you, and poison which kills you.
KapitanoStuff 1 year ago
@prophetbyronmotley
First of all, your statement is incorrect. Civil unions are NOT equivalent to marriages in terms of rights.
Secondly, why are "those of faith" angered NEEDLESSLY over the private lives of others? They could just turn their heads or close their fucking eyes if homosexual relationships bother them so much. If there's a movie I don't like, I don't go around beating up the director or protesting it. I just DON'T SEE IT. Homophobics should learn to have the same courtesy.
gerrronimo 1 year ago 7