Terrible Sequel Headaches (part 20/32)

[TheMarg0r]

"I'd like to see Mike Dawson in a sidescroller."

It's called Lester the Unlikely. You're welcome.

[jleoriane]

i remember reading slowbeef's lp of this game years ago, and how dark the atmosphere seemed. goth was particularly disturbing to look at. so much for that vision of darkseed ii!

[castlevania78]

A giant Monty Python foot would fit perfectly in these dark world transitions.

[randoguy101]

3:20 hey it's cornshaq's grandma

[theSuperMetroid02]

I'm always ready...I'm Mike *fucking* Dawson

[Suzaku000]

Mike Dawson has the power of telepathy, but there are two major drawbacks: One, he can only read the mind of Mike Dawson, and two, it works less than half the time.

[vsnlps]

There is a cancer named after Mike Dawson or New Zeallend salmon cancer.

also with the UCLA he has been credited with 2 books and "award wining game"

and a record for students "passing" his class easy A I guess.

[bust2007]

Mike Dawson is a batman arkum city dlc.

[leviathan1173]

The guy guarding DarkWorld Rita's house is now officially the best character in the game.

[Luisin88]

"Whats hes going to do to stop us?, Breath really hard" you guys are dicks.

[Fuzzy192006]

12:50 Mike Dawson just stands there, and then leaves. I believe this is a statement on the futility of all video games.

[insertclichename]

What the fuck was that monkey sound at 13:50? 

[steveharley0345]

@insertclichename

Its not a monkey, its a triceratops. Honest mistake, don't worry.

[TheLevoyboy]

So wait... The way they put the whole "offering of blood to the ancients" thing, it sounded like it was supposed to be a dark world every day activity similar to something done in the light world. I've narrowed it down to either being taking a shower, or a "Dark World Experience".

[ADBHLS]

You know despite the number of 1-ups Mike has gotten, he still doesn't seem to have gotten a life.

[Reyson129]

@ADBHLS

I hate to use such an overused phrase, but my internets. You have them.

[nico641]

@OldSnoova ...You can't die by just holding your breath, you realise that, right..?

[johnnythm777]

They've already made a sidescroller with Mike Dawson.

It's called Lester the Unlikely.

[TheBrandonRegan]

@johnnythm777 Im guessing you've never played Lester The Unlikely? Lester saves a girl and gets kissed and stops being a weakling in that game. Only the first couple of levels hes like Mike Dawson.

[HHKelevra]

Dammit, the Saints Row the 3rd Initiation Station keeps timing out when I try to upload my Mike Dawson character.

Not even Saints Row will accept Mike Dawson...

[Zknight7126]

Mike Dawson, just kill yourself, PLEASE!

[Noisemaze]

4:35 trust me, not even being high can make Mike Dawson more entertaining. It really just makes you less able to stop yourself from punching something.

[posthumanfetus]

Even though I hate Mike Dawson, I just can't watch him enough. It's more fun to watch the adventures of an incompetent manchild than any real show. The protagonist is a pathetic loser, the longplayer is horribly incompetent, and the game clearly sucks. It's a trifecta of shit and I can't get enough of it.

[spencechan]

i vote to skip parts 21 through 30, who's with me?

[bobbinsthethird]

Know how Catcher in the Rye makes you want to kill Lennon?

Dark Seed 2 trains you to assassinate Mike Dawson

[RarEndangeredCrabSpy]

I AM... MIKE DAWSON

[GenjiFirefly]

12:40

Oh man, did anyone else outlast Diabetus?

[DarkSolnea]

@GenjiFirefly Everytime I try, I end up laughing because this is too funny.

[InaudibleSlinky]

So wait what if your dark world counterpart dies what happens to you?

[TheCh33ks]

I think the longplayer is steadily dying as he plays this game.

[EGRJ]

@TheCh33ks I disagree. I think it's increasing, like a curve.

[KingdomHeart723]

9:20 Before I answer anymore questions, you must construct additional Pylons.

[biospherearcadia]

Funny thing about this is that I didn't start to actually HATE Mike Dawson until part 4/5 of the longplay.

[SirPainsalot]

@biospherearcadia ... At which part, exactly?

[biospherearcadia]

@SirPainsalot I'm not sure, I just remember a huge hate building up when I watched it.

[trelior]

Dark World Dawson's mom is a bunch of steam that cooks a human.

[Icerama108]

@trelior Close . . .

[Tehlolcats]

Arrival in hell guy disapproves of these dark world drugs.

[Iwuznothere]

I'm starting to think this Dark World nonsense is all some autistic dream of Dawson and the sheriff is just humoring the town idiot by acting like Mike is capable of doing anything as competent as being an actual murder suspect. Even in this alien world he is a loser that can hardly do anything for anyone, he couldn’t even call a proper ambulance for that clown and just circumvented a lot of witless wandering about if he had half a functioning brain to compute any of his problems.

[inferno232]

Mike Dawson spreads nothing but death, and not in the badass way.

[205KMadden]

Anybody else notice the penis head in the background at the very beginning of the video?

Real subtle HR.

[mothmanbr]

Oh god everytime Mike Dawson uses his whiny voice in dramatic moments I just want to go on a shooting spree because a world with such a grating voice in it is not a world worth existing.

[darthpepito]

I miss the sheriff. Or rather diabetus' impression of him.

[BagOfMagicFood]

@darthpepito To be fair, the sheriff already sounds like a bad impression of himself.

[JexToth]

MY EXOSKELETON IS BROKEN MIKE DAWSON, THERE IS A CRACK IN THE ASS PIECE

[Ygdrasel]

This game would be infinitely better if the protagonist was Edward Cullen. And that's just fucking horrible.

[RolfChristin]

I fell asleep during part 4 on Blip. When I woke up, one of RP's Dead to Right's vids had automatically uploaded. My screen was blank so, in my delirium, I actually thought Mike Dawson had stolen a gun and went on a shooting spree.

[narcolepticchairftw]

@RolfChristin It's funny to me that Darkseed 2 made you fall asleep.

[pullahoko]

For some reason Slowbeef and Diabetus always get stuck with games where all the technology farts.

[SirTotallyAwesome]

"Who the hell would ask to continue talking to Mike Dawson?"

Well see, in the dark world pain=pleasure. Talking to Mike is like heaven.

[Neotails8762]

duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhh­hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh­hhhhhh-/collapse

[pHr33kAcHu]

What's weird is that this game got nothing but positive reviews back in the day. WHY!?

[BigJuicyx3]

@pHr33kAcHu

It's because Mike Dawson looked so young and virile to the reviewers.

[pHr33kAcHu]

@BigJuicyx3 Gamespot, did you kill Rita?

[GTAfan421]

@pHr33kAcHu Reviewers only were talking about the 'ring toss' part of the game. The rest got a 2/10.

[pHr33kAcHu]

@GTAfan421 YA MISSED PAL 5/5

[Zaychavitch]

@pHr33kAcHu Back in the day professional reviewers were the equivalent of Newgrounds' reviewers.

"This game makes no sense, I can't figure anything out, the animation is terrible, the dialogue is boring"

10/10.

[pHr33kAcHu]

@Zaychavitch Heh, good point. :3

[SamuraiFoochs]

This game is nonsensical even by adventure game standards. Clowns, ego massagers, fetal alcohol syndrome Yoda babies, electro-nipple tents.

Darkseed 2.

[rocky5768]

@SamuraiFoochs Welcome to DarkSeed 2 bitch!

[xWhiteClaudiax]

Hey guys. I'm actually an employee at Nintendo and I'd thought I'd let you all know that we've decided to include Mike Dawson in the roster for the next installment of Super Smash Brothers. The Mike Dawson character will have a variegated and multifaceted array of weapons to choose from, including a coat hanger he uses for melee attacks and rings that he throws at enemies for smash attacks.

[Yoonatica]

@xWhiteClaudiax the smash attack will just be him throwing rings over and over again while "ehehe, you missed pal" plays in the background over and over again

[Duujin]

@xWhiteClaudiax

Unfortunately, the ring smash attack has no active hitboxes, and cannot make contact with any opponent other than another playing controlling Mike Dawson.

[InfinitisStormcaster]

@xWhiteClaudiax I want to know the special attacks. 3:

[ShimesaKaantaHayaera]

@xWhiteClaudiax What do you know about the internal workings of Nintendo?

[LegendofLegaia929]

@xWhiteClaudiax Will it also be impossible for him to win any of his matchs?

[xWhiteClaudiax]

@LegendofLegaia929 He can win, but only if his opponents are given ridiculously high handicaps.

Actually maybe not even then.

[ChaladanX]

What I don't get is why the small town in the middle of no-where in the Lightworld is the centre of administration in the Darkworld.

[DaveDaviddsonn]

@ChaladanX You could explain it with the dark world being the exact opposite of the light world but I doubt they gave it that much thought.

[Hamsteere]

@HHKelevra IHNM&IMS was actually a fairly decent game, with a much better storyline.

[Reyson129]

@Hamsteere It's a damn good story, but I had no idea there was a game D:

[GenjiFirefly]

Dammit Miss Dawson, if you keep making your son leave the house, your head will spin!

[zestytoaster]

I imagine the longplayer is sitting with a stack of pages from a GameFAQs walkthrough, and all these long pauses are him looking where to go next

[Level1Slime]

@zestytoaster Out of morbid curiosity I checked out GameFAQs to see what the guide for the game was like. It's a horrendous disjointed wall of text written by some borderline illiterate kid. So I'm not surprised if he gets lost at certain points and has to have Mike constantly retreat to his moms bathroom to regroup.

[rocky5768]

@Level1Slime The FAQ was probably written by Mike Dawson

[hitjohnyup]

Anybody else take the ring toss to be a metaphor for how Mike Dawson can't get laid?

Oh wait, this whole game is that.

[heroshadow42]

People who already asked, did you kill Rita?

I get the feeling the death reels will be either completely hilarious, or completely shitty. This is assuming without commentary.

Dawson, it's a little late to grow balls.

Maybe this is a revolution of Long Plays, deliberate delays in gameplay to extend the video. Or there's some lag/delay/derp time in the game which causes those pauses and seemingly unnecessary repeats.

[BoisterousBizarnes]

@heroshadow42

The delay/derp time is caused by the LP'er reaching for his intoxicant of choice and ingesting more until he is drugged up enough to continue the LP.

[posthumanfetus]

@heroshadow42 Anything with Mike Dawson is derp time.

[bust2007]

Dawson owns!!! Lol nah he don't.......

[videogamenostalgia]

At last, all the pieces of the puzzle are coming together. Now I know why Mike Dawson is the way he is. The reason why he is antisocial and has avoided talking to other human beings he perceives as hostile. Why he feels the need to live with his mother for security. Why he is obsessed with Rita- the closest he ever came to intimate heterosexual contact. It's because every night, he feels them in his dreams. The cruel burn of robo-appendage penetrate his anus. Ik and Uk, you bastards...

[JasperChalks]

I looked all over the hall of mirrors but I still can't find a trigger mechanism!

[ColonelVile]

Mike Dawson.

[sygnus5]

3:06 "I don't know anything about Light-World game design, but I think I should teach people how to make video games"

[ColonelVile]

Mike Dawson.

[jman3267]

Ik and Uk, did you molest Rita?

[Doperwtje81]

Mike Dawson ruined mustaches for me.

[FSinWCR]

@Doperwtje81 Movember is ruined forever.

[M413]

This RP is a nice change of pace. Instead of shitting on the LPer, you're treating all of his random pauses and backtracking as Mike Dawson just being a pathetic moron. Its more entertaining that way.

[MrIgotabadfeeling]

@M413 Teh LP'er is Mike Dawson

[TheAnonftw]

Okay where on earth does mike dawson keep all the shit he collects. Does he have some sort of wagon he lugs everywhere for supplies that they were too lazy to draw?

[12usty]

Top rated comment, did you kill Rita?

[MrFluffyRedGyarados]

@12usty Person making that obvious comment... Did YOU kill Rita?

[esplin946686]

I want to both hug and punch Mike.

[RABBIDGamfan]

@esplin946686 You could hug him with one hand and then punch him in the gut with the other.

[TheToast7]

When Mike Dawson failed at shop class, he made the dark world.

When Guy Kazama failed at shop class, he made slowbeef.

[rickhh1]

@TheToast7 Who made Diabetus?

[Meloncarty]

@TheToast7 then I'd assume when Ernest failed shop class he made Diabetus?

[MNC117]

No seriously, what the fuck is this game. I want to play this Giger filled gem.

[FloatingWalnut]

@MNC117

Darkseed 2

[MrMootowncow]

Wait, Mike can carry that massager that is twice the size of him but he won't push the anvil over to get that clown's medicine? Mike Dawson, you piece of shit.

[heroshadow42]

@MrMootowncow Don't forget that he's also incompetent at throwing a ring.

[Leoofmoon]

@MrMootowncow It because Mike Dawson wanted to have his jollys.

[DarkOmegaMK2]

@MrMootowncow In reality, i never really liked the clown enough to even try to push the anvil seriously.

[NodakJo2010]

Mike Dawson must've uploaded it...that can only explain the bland title.

[NightTaoretaDawn]

Whats up with the name of this Video retsupurae? Did it Murder Rita?

[TheDuskduck]

WOOOOOOOooooooo



[SnarkytheGiggles]

Coolio.

[xValis77x]

terriblesequel-short20.mp4 lol

[bloodsuckern]

ok