Pastor Joel Osteen's Christian Clean Jokes C No dirty funny

[abhishekkumarsingh54]

Pastor Joel Osteen's i hear your lecturers, Its teaches me impotent mining of life. I kindly request you please pray for me & and my company. They be come closing moment for the Cause of annual losses. But i have never fill loser in my mind if Lord be with me i will run this company in under of my heavenly father blesses. Your my ideal of my life in very short age of life you got fathers lots of blesses. I pray to god we will always Listen your lecturers follow our life In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

[XxAlexAwolxX]

@Biochemist1661 r u fuckin crazy hahaha wat a random ass day lol stupid chistian hahahah xD u make me laugh after that it'll b 2012 then som other random day u guys r so gullible lol

[Andreyka84]

At least at the end he sends ppl to a "good Bible based church" not to a good Jokes based church like his..

[Andreyka84]

Luke 19:45 "it is written, 'My house is a house of prayer, but you made it a den of thieves.. If Jesus is to be going in person thru this kinda of churches he's gonna have to repeat this words again..

[bass109]

follow lord jesus

[zuuluu1]

y r cuss words in a joke considered to b dirty? We only get one life. Were given a life and put on earth to live it to the fullest. Y cant we say we say fuck or shit if it makes us happy? If a person says a cuss word y does everyone have a problem with that? A person snt going to do something or say something if it makes him sad. If a person says something he must enjoy saying it so y not let him enjoy his life? Dont critisize people for sayen a word. . Got 1 life. Better make it fucking great!

[bass109]

ask jesus as your savior!!!

[clandarkside]

look up "And I quote... FU." the chewbacca preacher.

[MrPancaekz]

mmmm a nice scoop of BRAINWASHING for desert

[pettibone311]

@MrPancaekz

oh no! dont brain wash all of us!

conspirators conspirators

[bahnanno1]

Hey guess what....I'm God. Sure don't beleive me, just laugh and skip to the comment, but those who don't, and think i might really be God, well then, go jump off a cliff u fuckin mentally ill fairytale beleiver. Praise Jesus XD

[KameronID]

He and Sam Bradford favor a little.

[TruthExistsNoMore]

In Exodus we have an account of the manner in which Jehovah delivered the Jews from Egyptian bondage. We now know that the Jews were never enslaved by the Egyptians; that the entire story is a fiction. We know this because there is not found in Hebrew a word of Egyptian origin and there is not found in the language of the Egyptians a word of Hebrew origin. So we know that the Hebrews and Egyptians could not have lived together for hundreds of years.

[coolMAXuk2]

to that guy that says he is an ex atheist, does that mean that he unlearnt science

[KameronID]

That means he believes in what is real. An atheist doesn't believe in what is real and therefore tries to make sense of what isn't, wasn't, and never will be. Abiogenisis and the Theory of Evolution can't be proved scientifically.

[coolMAXuk2]

to kameronID ya evolution is just a theory just like gravity and how could science be accurate i mean we should believe in what 1 book says that is full of holes proven inaccuracies and contradictions that was written just over 2000 years ago. ps nobody ive asked has given me an answer to this question yet so please write back, if "god" created the sun and stars on the fourth day how did the plants created on the third day survive without light to drive there photosynthetic process?

[FREDOJAY]

Genesis 1:3 3 And God said, "Let there be light," and there was light. 4 God saw that the light was good, and He separated the light from the darkness. 5 God called the light "day," and the darkness he called "night." And there was evening, and there was morning—the first day.

on the fourth day was when he created the seasons and the GREATER LIGHT was to GOVERN the day and LESSER was to GOVERN the night and then he made stars but thats not where the light came from

[FyFhFr25]

God had created darknessbefore that? You chrisko sickos!

[FyFhFr25]

Ex-atheists are mentally & morally weaklings who need pscho clutches.

Shameful, Shameless christians using the PC & Internet which are invented by NON-christians to preach their LIES.

Let people judge - don't delete my comments if your imaginary god is that strong.

[Wales223]

How many blinks does he blink in a minute? Excuse me, I have my blinkers on can't you see I am trying to turn to get away from this guy....can anyone tell me if I have my blinkers.....yes, no, yes, no, yes, no.

[TheHonestTheist]

/watch?v=fFH0khjgA0U

[gradgurl2007]

Why are evangelists always Southern?

But cute jokes. I've heard a similar joke to the first one about an LDS Bishop.

[5idea]

i love his jokes.

[NeverforgetElvis]

ha, ha, ha. ripped off old jokes. "Smile and the world smiles back" . . . Olsteen's cotton candy theology. Except we all know that we need to dig deeper, as Christ taught. But Joel wants to keep everything on the surface where it sells. Trouble is, there is no real value in real life. Join Joel's church . . . . then call him when you have a crisis in your family. They will never have heard of you (unless you recently wrote a fat check). The mega-church magic. Put in, but don't try to take.

[dreambrother37]

(i pooped a little)

[afterGodsHeart08]

Isn't it odd that Christian videos attract even the most critical sinners? It's funny, you never will find comments from Christians on offensive videos. They are not as quick to judge. I think that the Holy Spirit draws them to these christian videos and a seed is planted.

[nunurox]

this is what happens when your writers arent jewish

[rthom1124]

joel osteen is not a man of god he is preaching crap which has no biblical doctrine and when he does use the bible he twists it around and a lot of times its all about himself and not about God and he is a false Christian for denying Jesus's words on larry king live and he cant even tell people that jesus died on the cross for our sins he tells them he died to cure their mediocrity and bad habits and to make us financially prosperous in this world when jesus never said that

[happytransit]

he's actually right on.

God IS the only judge.

what, is he going to tell everyone on TV that they're going to hell unless they accept Jesus?

he's a human being, imperfect, but seems humble enough not to make God's decisions for Him.

[Rundogrun1189]

Oh for pete's sake, shut UP.

[luana4song]

He is funny, God so has a sense of humor...

[bornedinsion]

Beware of "preachers" like joel osteen who make fun of the gospel many people have died for throughout history!!!

People who follow these preachers lack knowledge of the bible!!! PATHETIC!!!

[k1ngdragon411]

1:48 pause you know who he is!!!!!!

[DLRB]

GOD BLESS YOU JOEL... WE LOVE YOU!!!!

[Cooper222]

don hate..u cud do wat he's doinq too but if u don wana God's job den hush!!

[petemillner]

Will you whisper these things in my ear and fill my mind with worthless trivia? Are you a prophet? A pastor? An apostle? No; you are a false prophet. You teach a gospel that is different to that which Jesus and Paul the apostle preach, and therefore condemn yourself. Friends, instead of listening to these niceties, follow Christ! Follow Christ at all costs- even unto death! Your passions and your life belong to God, and they are his! Not yours to improve with 7 steps!!

[ckarper]

if you don't like the comments on here and have nothing to say nice don't say nothing at all, respect god, he died for our sins.

[Rundogrun1189]

Typical Christian. 'Don't say nothing at all'. The usual inbred hick dialog, 'God died for our sins' I thought Jesus did. This shows most Christian's absolute lack of knowledge about the book they all scream over, and finally, the post I'm talking about was 'thumbs upped' two times, showing that at least two others had the same basic stupidity. And you wonder why you have to brainwash your kids at an early age to join your cult.

[nunurox]

why do u people say he did us such a favor for dying for our sins and that shit....... last time i checked christians said he was in heaven and had his 72 virgins

[happytransit]

i'm sorry you feel that way about something so important. it's in His hands.

[ryansoulReaper]

wow u couldnt be anymore prejudice with that statement ans its not a cult its a RELIGION omg what is with that. its not brainwashing anyone people have the chose to believe even though there parents raise them to believe its still their chose i have many friends that grew up in drug houses and others like that and became christian and friends that grew up with God in their lives and they denounced their faith to their parents so sorry for such a long comment hope to talk soon God Bless

[serjicaljesus1]

your pretty wrong

because

there the same person

GOD THE FATHER

GOD THE SON

GOD THE HOLY SPIRIT

THE HOLY TRINITY

i was never brain washed as a child

am an ex atheist but now i love GOD

[AnonymousCommentator]

"beware of false-prophets"

Joel Osteen is one of them.

Face the Truth of the Bible, or face God.

[Gamer5544]

you people need to stop fighting. for those who don't believe in god, ill pray for you.

[sobakatom]

I like Joel....great honest man....great message

[TimeDivider]

@sobakatom Joel Osteen's message is a complete farce. You need to read your bible and read what Paul has to say about desiring money. The word teaches contentment in Christ...not acquiring worldly wealth. Osteen's method is what people want to hear...that is why it is desirable to people. The prosperity gospel is not of god or scripture my friend.

[gupsphoo]

@sobakatom I bet you used to say the same about Ted Haggard.

[MutaliskMaster]

I just wanna see Joel Osteen frown man!

[maxfires]

man this joel sucks...somebody shoot him./

[Mslaydi]

Maxfires, that's very Christ like of you.

[Digitalbumpin]

LOL, why add the laugh track.

Horrible jokes, horrible person.

[unitednoobies]

"arcade1942" What ever happend to you or your family I'm deeply sorry , and made God have mercy on your soul.

[Monica15N]

check out Epicenter by Joel Rosenburg, it's really cool

[arcade1942]

lord jesus, fuck you

[maxfires]

u just earned a ticket to hell fer free..