The Highly Sensitive Person: An Interview with Elaine Aron

[michcookies]

...someone is lying but with no evidence. It's like I just know. I sometimes feel like I'm taking in so much information that other people can't see, and I don't want to sound bad, but I often feel like I'm the only person who walks about with their eyes open. I've always thought I was too sensitive, but now it's nice to know I'm just more intuned with my surrounds than other folk. Sorry, I don't think I've made as much sense as I've wanted!

[michcookies]

I've always felt out of sorts with everything around me, like I don't fit in. I usually just refer to myself as not being a 'people person', but after reading all about HSP I think I can safely say this is me. I've always being sensitive to how other people feel, either about me or just stuff, and find that other peoples moods affect me. Things about people which I feel are glaringly obvious other people don't see and I've sometimes been labelled as paranoid if I'm convinced...

[ichai1]

@LexieDeaves It depend on how you make use of it in totally happy with it I can sens more than everyone I know

[LexieDeaves]

@ichai1 eh?

[LexieDeaves]

@ichai1 Oh, my bad! At first I didn't know what you said but I got it. I am not using anything to sense anyone :) Have you ever cried because you've just learned something fascinating in science or math? Weirdly, I do. I suppose I am not making the use of it. However, I will blame the fact that I can't control it. I am glad it's working out for you so well.

[ichai1]

Hello all people I need some help my mom says that HSP are regular people Is there anything that I can do to prouve that I'm HSP I mean everyone can do that test of HSP and lie about it bit what about the nervous system is there any doctors or known people who will confirm that an HSP is indeed highly sensitive is there any photos about the nervous system?? Pls I don't know want to say

[ReverendKnoxville]

@ichai1 Your mom is half correct, people exhibiting various degrees of HSP are regular people who are highly sensitive to their environment. I imagine the only definitive test would be an MRI undertaken while being subjected to a standard stimulus (showing increased activity in the perception and emotion centers); however, this is a test that to my knowledge is only undertaken in psychiatric research of HSP, not for general diagnosis... yet.

[LexieDeaves]

I don't understand why people call high sensitivity and high IQ a gift...both are like curse.

[ReverendKnoxville]

@LexieDeaves Focus on the positives: when solving problems we dance around the box all day long, have ridiculously high levels of intuition, are difficult to deceive, perceive a more vivid and vibrant universe, people usually love to follow us when we are in charge, and we can "read" people and most animals with surprising accuracy! We may pay a high price with bullying, needing time off, and overactive emotions, but we get to experience so much! :-D

[LexieDeaves]

@ReverendKnoxville :) well, if you put it that way than its not that bad. Bullying ah...I remember those days,one of them didn't even finish middle school. Nevertheless,In my case it were the teachers as well,even they can be big bullies...Although, I wish I wouldn't remember that.

[AdriaEvonfb452]

najo ich wiege 300 kilo

[PollysMovies]

Har översatt det hon säger till svenska, se HSP-bloggen på blogspot.com.

[STONEMAKERCANADA]

hey

[RockandFem]

It kinda suprise me that almost everybody here hates to be a HSP. :S When I found out I was a HSP, I was happy because I finally understood some "weird" things of myself! I always have felt an outsider and I'm fine with it, even more now (maybe because I'm only 16). I know life as a HSP can be very intense. But on the bright side: when I'm happy, I feel so fantastic. Because as long as I feel things, I feel alive! And no non-HSP will every feel that way.

Thank you, Elaine Aron! You helped me.

[bangthatdrumb]

@RockandFem people are effected to different degrees i suspect. when u cant really do anything except sit in a room by yourself without feeling crap, youve got a problem.

[bangthatdrumb]

i fooking hate being HSP.

[Shari225]

@bangthatdrumb

People I suspect are/were HSPs:Johnny Depp, Barbra Streisand, Steve Jobs, Jane Godall, Ansel Adams.

[cubbex]

@Shari225 You forget Garfield and Donald.

[sclapione]

@cubbex  They don't seem particularly HSP ?

[flugente]

@bangthatdrumb ne strong :( i hate it too we are the last hope

[ginissimo]

I hate being HS. I f***** hate it. I can't have a normal relationship at all.

[1234Agyness]

I love how calming her voice is....And thanks to her I figured out myself, plus, I was bullied a lot when I was a kid, and my mom never understood me, she still kinda doesn't.But at least now I can try to do everything possible in order to live the way that makes me feel better

[VenusAsABoyFilms]

very calming

[nixa50]

1 person doesn't "get it"

[firalla]

@nixa50 yeah.. one person is non-hsp ;P

[firalla]

@nixa50 yeah.. one person is non-hsp ;P

[Aprilv3339]

What's with the gospel piano music?

[LoveLotusHa]

If only we had this info years ago...went through most of my life being told I was hyper sensitive and made to feel like an outcast. Just recently a 'friend' who was criticizing me with harsh words, added, You are too sensitive, did you know that? I smiled and said, yes, I know and I so appreciate that I am......

[Shari225]

I totally agree, EMT. I taught Aikido for 27 years. It was a huge, huge help for me.

[EMT22637]

Dance and martial arts are two things I have found immensely helpful in my life dealing with high sensitivity. Coordinated physiological activities and training takes the tidal wave of sensory input and funnels it into manageable rivers and streams.

[Shari225]

Hi Lady YellowViolet,

Yes, being HSP can be difficult, especially if you feel you must walk the same path as the other 80% of the population. That would depress any HSP! There are HSP gatherings that are of immense help. Just being around people who 'get' you and are like you is huge. FWIW, I too was bullied terribly as a child. But I forgave. I didn't want to carry the pain anymore. Those miserable years strengthened my ability to read energy, and that has been a huge gift to me in adulthood.

[hollybee43]

@Shari225 How do I find a HSP gathering?

[Shari225]

@hollybee43

Google -Jacquelyn Strickland- for her HSP Gatherings. They are great.

Also google Dr. Ted Zeff, Jenna Avery, Thomas Eldridge, Jim Hallowes

There is an excellent online HSP Magazine called "Tribe", too.

Most of these sites, and Elaine Aron's, of course, list HSP websites.

I would have listed the links here, but YouTube wouldn't let me. But you can Google them or use some other search engine.

I hope this helps!

[hollybee43]

I feel like most other HSPs have naturally developed healthy coping strategies. They seem safe within their shyness. I can hardly function. I have no friends and am a mess. How do I become a healthy HSP? :(

[bangthatdrumb]

@hollybee43 let me know if u find out, the modern world is not geared for hsps at all

[LadyYellowViolet]

According to the life experiences that I've had, I wished that I would have born as a non hsp. I have been bullied a lot and in my eyes I don't see myself as a valuable person. I've been to a doctor and another and everyone just says that I'm sensitive and I've been eventually diagnosed with chronic depression. I can't imagine myself ever being able to work like others do, nor leading a happy life. And I would say that I'm not a very bright hsp either, or could be that I'm just sick and non hsp.

[Shari225]

@LadyYellowViolet

I was bullied a lot too, growing up. Huge amount. What I have learned as an HSP is that I don't march to the beat of the drums of the 80%. I don't even want too. The world is a little wacky, and trying to fit in does not meet my sanity needs! So, like many other HSPs, I am self-employed. I can work with others if I'm in charge, or if I trust the person who is, and the group is small. Otherwise, not. Just like you. You have a gift that only you can give. What's in your heart?

[cubbex]

@LadyYellowViolet I was pretty sensitive until I got harder like a rock, and smart like serpent. Even though I'm sensitive to others' needs, there's where we have to direct this receptivity. It doesn't care if we were bullied, we were bullied by kids who weren't aware of what they were doing. Also stop the negative introject.

[cubbex]

@LadyYellowViolet Also if you wasn't bullied by kids being a child but by an adult, a good thing we can do is to detect that kind of people to avoid them.

[Nathalalie80]

20%. That's a lot. Sometimes I wonder. We have a lot of stimuli around us mostly every hour of every waking moment: sounds, lights, smells, tv, traffic, etc. We have a lot to do in one short day. It's the time we live in.

But maybe the other 80% just somehow shut down their sensitivity, so they can deal better with the stress of the day. Maybe there is nothing different about the 20% who do still get a sensation, be it good or bad.

Personally, I'd rather be the 20% than the boring 80%!

[LU2013Aziz]

I'm HSP and proud

[irishbear76]

I am a highly sensitive male.

INFJ, empath, musician.

I work in the medical field.

I do not know how I know.

I just know things.

Thank you for this video.

Mark

[Shari225]

From Elaine Aron #5 The analogy, however, is not so good, because life is much more complex than a card game, with many more opportunities, beginning with the opportunity to change one’s definition of winning and to find help with one’s problems. Best wishes to you all, Elaine Aron



[Shari225]

From Elaine Aron #4 If you really would say "no thanks" to your sensitivity, then at the risk of sounding like I'm lecturing, I guess I'd say that we all have to play the cards we were dealt with as much skill as we can, whether it means winning or just trying not to lose too badly.

[Shari225]

From Elain Aron #3 Then there the many, many of us who have other difficulties in our past and present that being sensitive only makes harder. Still, a friend once asked me whether, if I really could have chosen whether to be highly sensitive I would have. I know my answer is yes. Think about it.

[Shari225]

From Elaine Aron #2 0 I’m sorry there’s no choice about being highly sensitive, and that some of you are struggling with your trait to the point of hating it. I think men have an especially hard time (check out Ted Zeff's The Strong Sensitive Boy, which is as much a book for sensitive men).

[Shari225]

From Elaine Aron - A few comments on others’ comments. First, I am so glad the video has been helpful. About my using the term “preference,” I did not mean a conscious choice, but rather one of two strategies that you can inherit, leading to a tendency to pay attention to subtleties, reflect before acting, have stronger emotions whether positive or negative, and be easily overwhelmed by too much stimulation. I don’t usually use that word “preference” any more because of that confusion.

[xpxi]

you can`t begin to realise how your knowing on highly sensitive has help me so much.i went for treatment because of my difficult childhood i was told there i was highly sensitive.so i did look it up on here.ive read some of your books.it felt like you knew me.its the first time ive rearly found that.thank you so much<3

[1111starseed]

wow this is so fantastic i'm really happy i found this its helped me understand why i am so scaryed to get into interment relashionships i don't feel so strange any more or feel there are not others like me i thought there must have been something wrong with me but you exsplained it so well i do tend to focouse on the negative trades and not the positive

[rafapak]

What life is this if everything you do have to be adjusted to your body and you can't choose things you would love to do? There are bilions things I would like to do but I can't do. Yes , there is no one single perfect temperament . Unfortunately I feel I lose 99 % of all the things available for doing. Regular people lose 1% and can do 99% of things available. I hope I will die soon. I can't stand it anymore.

[randomuser1105]

@rafapak I understand you 100%. I always feel the exact same way, like I can't do most things in life and I relate to almost no one.

[Shari225]

Hi Chris, There are HSP (Highly Sensitive People) groups that you can investigate. I am working on a video about Highly Sensitive Men, as I think they have it harder growing up than HS Women. Boys have a "Boy Code" to deal with, at least in the U.S., and if he follows that road, he has to deny his inborn gifts. They become a challenge rather than a help in his life. I love HSM. You can Google Highly Sensitive and find plenty of websites about being Highly Sensitive.

[chrisbartley88]

i think im sensitive to the extreme and im a guy... il explain and sum1 correct me, im so sensitive to coments ppl make and it hurts my feelins very easy, i cry all the time wen bad things happen, i listen to emotional songs constantly, im always going into myself and focusing on my feelings and thinkin all the time, i avoid other MEN so id say im pretty timid and im shy... so wat does that make me?

[Shari225]

I quit smoking weed during my junior year in college. I didn't like that my short term memory wasn't what it was, and that I was not in control of my perceptions and ability to sense things clearly.

[41stgaming]

I guess Im highly sensitive too, I always think a lot more about what Im doing and how others will see that and stuff like that...

for all those others commenting that high sensitivity has ruined their lives/ is a curse/ whatever I recommend:

be happeh, be hippeh ^^

(includes smoking weed :D)

[candysugar100]

Highly recommend her book! Looking forward to reading more of her books.

[bangthatdrumb]

i hate having this fuckin shit its ruined my life forever

[rafapak]

i define sensitivity as a preference to process information.....

to me preference relates to situation in which you have two options and you select the one that you prefer. hsps unfortunately have no options. they can't be both hsps and non hsps at the same time

[Shari225]

@rafapak I've love to agree with you, but the traits of being highly sensitive are hardwired into those of us who are. We have no options on this, although many would love to have them. It's a bit like being color blind, without the negative connotation. It's a trait, not an option. Best wishes, Shari

[sclapione]

@rafapak "to me preference relates to situation in which you have two options and you select the one that you prefer. hsps unfortunately have no options"

Hmm, not true. Hsp is about overstimulation. You can take yourself outside of overstimlation, calm down, then look at the options.

[XtOfje]

I will spread the word... thanks ;-)

[Shari225]

Please feel free to share the link or embed this video. The reason I produced it was to get the word out about being highly sensitive. I also encourage you to go to Elaine Aron's website to learn more. Just Google her name. Shari Dyer

[swanny1951]

Where can I have an FMRI done?