BEST CHUCK NORRIS JOKES EVER!!!

[qwop2222]

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his farther did

[qwop2222]

CHuck Norris doesn't sleep he waits

[blackopsmaster11]

CHUCK NORRIS DEFEATED OPTIMUS PRIME BY PARKING HIM IN A HANDYCAP PARKING

[blackopsmaster11]

CHUCK NORRIS PUTS OUT WATER WITH FIRE

CHUCK NORRIS THREW A GRENADE AND KILLED 150 PEOPLE..THEN IT EXPLODED

CHUCK NORRIS DOESN'T PLAY HIDE AND GO SIT HE PLAYS SEARCH AND DESTROY

CHUCK NORRIS EATS HIS CEREAL IN THE SUPER BOWL

CHUCK NORRIS CAN CATCH A BULLET WITH CHOPSTICKS

CHUCK NORRIS DONATED HIS HAIR TO THE U.S ARMY AND THEY USE IT FOR BARBED WIRE,BULLETPROOF VEST, AND BULLETS

CHUCK NORRIS PUTS THE "I" IN "TEAM"

[bamboomkin]

Chuck Norris is a fucking pussy! If he was a man he come here in my room and fucking bump my head straight into the fucking keyboafnkeabnbn hgc xfhjgcchxcjg, xchjgcjhfxjgckxccutk xgjkchckjjhxcjcg

[drumdude360]

flag for misleading title theres no chuck norris jokes there WAYS OF LIFE

[weiwei6969]

 i like the blackout one

[xXAiMedRYaN128xX]

these are all over the web dude they aren't new

[bazingabye]

chuck norris is dead!! but death is too scared to tell him!

[HamdiMoZa]

myspace isn't actually your space, it's chuck Norris's and he lets you use it

[TheEpicfail305]

Press F13 for picture of Chuck Norris Troll face

[ironmaidenfans99]

00:39 sounds a little bit like chuck himself

[kodull123]

Chuck went on a walk and talk to the boy.. After he was done. The boys butt hole was so big he never had gay sex again.

[LeafsFanXD]

edward cullen is afraid of chuck norris, that's why he never sleeps.

[TheFieryFlare]

Chuck Norris took an arrow in the knee. He has been an adventurer since then!

[boobsorgtfo100]

chuck norris KILLED KODOS!!!!!!!!!!!

[xINiiTeMaReHD]

Why is the title chuck norris JOKES?

There is only such thing as chuck norris facts...

[snakob999]

chick norris can believe its not butter

[oceanside1322]

@snakob999

chuck norris makes you believe its not butter

[sniperbroforlife]

Chuck Norris doesn't open up a can of whop ass, whop ass opens up a can of Chuck Norris.

[Joxman2k]

I heard that Chuck Norris invented a time machine and went back in time to stop JFK from being assassinated, so he jumped up in the air and roundhouse kicked all the bullets. JFK saw him do it and his head exploded out of sheer amazement!

... Ya it really happened.

:)

:p

[emilylesniak26]

Ok here's a funny one, Chuck Norris died 10 years ago, the Grim Reapers too afraid to tell him:)

[emilylesniak26]

@stepchildrider6 How dare you diss Chuck Norris!!!!!!!

[stepchildrider6]

This ahem " Chuck Norris" guy that you think is god.. Is going to get owned one day... Again.. You people who praise him should go die in a huge hole

[MrMomentz1]

im tired of ppl thinkn tht chuck norris is god, its stupid nd if he if reads this he may come to my house nd smash my head onto the keyboardjunacdfhuiiiiiiiiiiiii­iiisvnjedz=dgphty90r8udvghi xcfmvkizdrlo'cjnewfjuhweuolmdu­rghnvnvnvbfhseguiwersgafsl,veg­hl9uuthgyfvcudhercnyithjxchffn­vbnfjhjgjfhbgvcbefsgyja 88838921jkewn27727274iii488888­8GSGSGSGSGVGHFHhgvagvgbvgvgfcd­fxdcfgvhjsgxdyukser6848qwiukdy­47474774747474747474

[xmanyoda]

Chuck Norris one cut through a hot knife with butter

[blackopsfreaknolan]

ive heard em all

[SotDivideClan]

chuck norris was onced old by a man that nothing could kill him so he tracked down nothing and killed it.

[SotDivideClan]

chuck norris used to be an adventurer then he took an arrow to the kn- no im kidding the arrow hit him and after 10 gruling days of pain the arrow bled to death

[Thatguyfrombakereh]

BarelyPolitical guy

[wiliam13303]

Chuck Norris likes his meat so rare, he eats unicorns.

[chromeninjar3d]

stop making these gay superfluous chuck norris praises, cuz im sure all of you will look stupid if he gets slapped by a car tomorrow.

[marioprime99]

@chromeninjar3d (roundhouse kick) 

[diggricp]

RaSSSSSHHH!



[guitarhero08ful]

fuck the bible, chuck norris is jesus

[CrownMe559]

The kid ruined the video. Lol

[steeltoelion]

Choke Norris is so tuff he went to Mc Donalds ordered a big mac and got one

[antde2001]

@steeltoelion its not a big mac its a wopper he ordered and got it

[SuperKingOfSwing1]

they got the idea for DBZ by listening to chuck norris sleep.

[OminesDragon]

Chuck norris once had sex with a truck, the truck is now called Optimus Prime

[TheDZ71]

Dude you're not funny, you're not good at telling jokes

[MongooseNorris]

chuck norris can put out a forest fire using only gasoline

[puanrog1]

heres a real joke bruce lee kick chuck norris ass

[YourMajestyNAS]

@puanrog1 i agree that fight was a joke, Chuck Norris would have beaten Bruce with one finger

[puanrog1]

@YourMajestyNAS no bruce lee kick chuck norris ass

[MrEnjoiiPie]

Chuck Norris wipes his ass with sandpaper.

[TheRisingforce2000]

chuck norris runs to work because driving a car is too slow

[djshadowpain]

Chuck Norris counted to infinity, and back.

[djshadowpain]

Chuck Norris can cut through a hot knife with butter

[djshadowpain]

Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience.

[cadurham1990]

fucking gay



[FrntlineAssassin]

chuck norris went to the virgin islands when he left they were just islands O.o

[RonCam250F]

The bible was originally called chuck Norris and friends

[Ifiwasagardengnome]

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, your not funny.

[Optimisticalman]

lol, the heart attack one made me die of laughter. lmfao

[LouieV6]

Jesus is actually Chuck Norris

[GANJAxxTHExxCURE]

Chuck Norris was dropped twice as a baby. First on Hiroshima then Nagasaki.

Germ X kills 99.9% of germs, Chuck Norris kills 100% of whatever the fuck he wants.

On the seventh day god rested, and Chuck Norris took over.

Anything you can do, Chuck Norris can do better.

[firekreve2j]

chuck norris can bellydance with his back

[brennanelmore]

was that nicepeter?...

[dragonforce326]

when the boogy man goes to sleep

he checks his closet for chuck norris

[saady07]

fuck me chuck norris

[xXReKaGeXx]

Chuck Norris doesn't play hide and seek he plays hide and pray I don't find you

[oceanside1322]

@xXReKaGeXx

lol good one

[TheSovietPuppy]

chuck norris' sweat is widely known as steroids

[Buffjinx27]

they say dog is mans best friend chuck norris is chuck norris's best friend

[Buffjinx27]

Chuck norris is really the one who flew over the koo koos nestt

[BurakkuRockShoota]

My friend says: "Chuck Norris doesn't need a penis to screw a woman."

[chrisy33m]

chuck norris has never had sex, because then he would have lost his virginity...AND CHUCK NEVER LOSES!

[TheOliverdhb]

i like the mars joke

[YugiohKidd]

Once Eminem walked up to Chuck Norris and said "I'm Not Afraid." Chuck Norris said "I Love The Way You Lie."...And Roundhouse kicked him in the face.

[MyAnth0ny]

chuck norris....nuff said

[Aash1999]

chuck norris....... enough said

[MrTradermon]

i was just on a website with allllllll of these jokes

[MrTradermon]

why the crappy 3d glasses

[alexmoonscar1012]

Chuck Norris is so badass, that if he somehow fought himself, he would always win.

[SuperKiller155]

The dark is afraid of chuck norris

[Vizians]

Chuck Norris doesnt laugh His shadow laughs for him

[Skalmanshatt]

@Vizians Chuck Norris doesnt have a shadow, the suns rays is afraid of him

[EZpawn97]

Chuck Norris once peed in a semi trucks gas tank just for the hell of it... That semi truck is now known as Optimus Prime

[smashinhoops]

@penneyferret77 true very true but still gotta admit chuck Norris is still awesome!!

[juanarruti]

if chuck norris could fly, he wouldnt.....

[narutouzimaki934]

im not to tell u this but... chuck norris is batman. WHAT DONT BELIVE ME. then play arkham city.

[daftrandy]

Chuck Norris was born in a log cabin that he built with his bare hands

Jesus walked on water but Chuck Norris can swim through land

[beenesprouts]

zigzager99

[JOJOremixx]

Chuck Norris CAN believe its not butter

[qazwsxedcgiorgos]

When the creator of facebook created facebook and logged in , he found friend requiest from Chuck Norris B!

[KhedriYaz]

you told the jokes in a unfunny way but still good jokes

[Joseph7033]

U guys r Chuck Norris's bitch!

[Shadowgaist93]

man u sucks!!!! my gramma s most funniest than u!!!

[ShadowMachineForLife]

When Chuck Norris has sex with a man it doesn't mean hes gay is just that theirs no more women left

[jordanlionblade]

U SUCK

[NHLfan253]

you fucking coppied dannycraps bitch

[Sanadzappy123]

chuck norris fart was so strong he caused the earthquake and tsunami in japan

[pennyferret77]

yeah well bruce lee kicked his ass!!

[Rigahawk]

the famous line "Houston, we have a problem" was not because there was a problem in the space craft. the problem was chuck norris roundhouse kicked the air out of the space craft

[supertany21]

chuck norris only plays one video game: call of halo modren world of warcraft black ops

[MrRandom715]

chuck norris gave his dad "the talk".

chuck norris once discovered cold fusion by pouring two beers in the same glass

if chuck norris was president, his solution for peace in the middle east is by dropping a total gym for every man woman and child

[xWh1t3Dyn4m1t3x]

NASA once bet Chuck Norris a beer that he could not reenter the atmosphere without a spacesuit. On April 23, 1993, a naked Chuck Norris fell from the sky streaking a total of 14 states and reaching a maximum temperature of 3000 degrees Fahrenheit. To this day, NASA claims is was a meteor and still owes Chuck Norris a beer. =)

[grdemihop1]

dickhead

[AltWiz]

That Carboard Box was a Boat in Minecraft.

[PackerManForLife]

I gotta joke for you all!! Chuck norris once got in a fight, and lost...

[TheOptimus17Prime]

They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.

[UsmaanPro]

@TheOptimus17Prime ROFLMAO

[TheOptimus17Prime]

chuck norris only masturbates to pictures of chuck norris

[ablockofgrass]

wanna know what happened to the mars rover?

chuck norris played baseball.

if you roundhouse kick chuck norris you will fly to china bcuz of the kickback.

if you want to know what happened to hiroshima chuck norris was sunbathing and farted.

chuck norris was born from the big bang.

chuck norris wasnt born, he rose

chuck norris doesnt sleep, he watches.

when chuck norris says hes going on vacation he means to the andromeda galaxy.

chuck norris removed the word from the dictionary.

[drewnwalker]

The end about the rash is gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys.

[sackboy59463]

Chuck Norris once got bit by a snake and after 3 days of pain the snake died

[millerabayomi]

Chuck Norris had a orgy with Ellen Degeneres, Mona Lisa, Cleopatra and Madusa last week

[millerabayomi]

Chuck Norris carved mount rushmore with his beard

[millerabayomi]

Chuck Norris Farted and stopped the war of Clash of the Titans.

[millerabayomi]

Chuck Norris went to jail so to prove that he was boss he ass raped Kratos from God Of War

[KikoRunasu]

chuck noris once gave death a heart attack

[gian71193]

Chuck Norris doesn't want to wear hats,hats want to wear Chuck Norris

[MsDelSignore]

lmfao omg. so lame but funny.

[KOTSlOS]

so basically Soviet Russia lives in Chuck Norris or samething like that right?

[1010amd]

chuck norris lost his virginity before his father

[hunterbattleblade]

ive already heard all of these

[dgbillybobjoe93]

One time, Chuck Norris got horny on a beach. Soon after, the first Sperm Whale was sited.

[n3xium]

Ghosts sit around campfire and tell Chuck Norris stories..

[quebecoi1992]

0:58 Mrs Slave's  hat !!

[itsMeChuckNorris]

1:54 a Rasta Arnold Schwarzenegger???

[EchoSasuke]

If Chuck Norris is defusing a bomb and has a choice of red wire, yellow wire and green wire, he chooses blue

[kjmmss]

he said the optimus prime one wrong it goes like Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke....that truck is now known as Optimus Prime

[mr1000rx]

chuck norris has arnold swartzeneggers orbiting around his biceps.

[hieu1337]

When Chuck Norris stomped on the ground, he created a nukebomb

[Qwertacious]

SORRY DOESN'T HELP MY RASH.

[turbotrey99]

Chuck Norris was fighting an anaconda for 18 hours... then he realised he was masterbating

[irishhellsangel]

@turbotrey99 LOL

[TwistyMcFisty]

The "Big Bang" was Chuck Norris impregnating the universe.

[anton822000]

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, who's Chuck Norris?

[12345678912345685961]

ur a fag 

[GrimRaider74]

STFU AND ONLY TELL JOKES!!

[dragonbladerleo]

heres one when chuck norris play zombies he doesnt try to survive the zombies do

[RusteyBlade]

Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter :o

[star666YEAH]

how much wood would a wood chuck chuck, if a wood chuck could chuck chuck norris

[wowbigfannilud]

@star666YEAH ALL OF IT

[MarvinPumpkin]

You talk like Robert De Niro at the Beginning

[rosspownzu]

real 3d classic

[xCh34pShOtx]

hey guy are u gay?

[jerbglarbgrhewbgh]

everytime someone masterbates chuck norris eats a baby panda

[larsonicff7]

u suck man

[xBoTzo]

What with him changing his hats?

[steventheninja1]

chuck norris invented the word gay when he saw this video

[endingmemories]

Chuck Norris separated The Union and The Confederacy with a Roundhouse Kick

[SMITEU22]

jokes?.... u mean facts!

[parallelatek]

all videos that start like that turn out crap, oh...... wait?............no its shit

[yokin128]

-comment deleted by Chuck Norris-

[weldon0m]

norris doesnt have a family-the family are all dead-they died in frieght the very fist day thay saw him being born! ...so did all the doctors and nurses

[kimnrandy88]

If at first you don't suceed your not Chuck Norri.

[Loyaification]

Chuck Norris is able to beat a game of Cod zombies

[Jerichorock21]

Chuck Norris can win russian roulette with a full loaded gun

[robloxguggi]

@Jerichorock21 I can too, I just let the opponent start.

[spacejesusadventure]

@Jerichorock21 so can anyone as long as you don't have to go first...

[Jerichorock21]

@spacejesusadventure Well all guns are Chuck Norris sensitive. If he pulls the trigger with a gun that has a bullet it will click.

[xcrazysxslayerx]

chuck norris is the only person that can punch a cyclops between the eye

[jfeltes]

I don't think he ran out of Chuck Norris Jokes I think he ran out of silly hats.

[lekoucha]

Neill armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, but chuck norris was the first man to walk on earth.