What Can I Do?

[TheMrFizz]

My choosen sister (we grew up together) once tried to help me. i was pretty much a wreck back then allready... ts was not the actual problem, for that, in the first place... but... then

i simply couldn´t imagine that i could be loved.

Backfired dramaticly, ended in seven years of studiying the wonderfull world of psychosis, and teached me ...a lot! Basicly that i better be egoistic, so i can share my proud. *blushabit* Bah, sounding boasty, lagain. Get help from proffessionals you pay for it.

[Samcara]

I'd advise to take a walk and just talk to yourself...people say it will make you crazy, but I honeslty think they help to pull of some of the stress...some people punch pillows, I take a nice walk and talk to myself in private...it can be in you house or in your room as long as its just you..helps to have time to gather yourself before dealing the cards you've been handed...

[tspaige1]

ya, I got that for a while too, people wanting me to solve their probs, etc, I actually had to withdraw from the trans community for a bit cos of a few ppl thinking it was my job to make their transition easy for them...bottom line is transition is hard, you need a strong sense of self, and not many people have that in the cis world let alone the trans world... anyhoo keep up the good work, I stumbled upon your vblog by accident and have come to enjoy it, peace...dove out

[RachelXavier]

Your videos help to enlarge that feeling and belief inside of me that it actually can happen-however imperfectly- for me. Formerly 100% paralyzed by fear and reasons why I could never successfully transition. I am am only starting out, having to act as though I believe because I must -things will get better, you have to not give up. That is the main thing-

Those are exactly the words I needed to hear. Fear is still trying to make me give up. I cannot.

You have helped me a great deal.

Thank you

[selenamrtnz]

Hi,

Yes, a lot of waiting. I am getting my Trans care at the VA hospital as I am a veteran and the first thing I learned in the military was "hurry up and Wait" The same goes for the care being offered at the VA, tho things are changing rapidly and there are some incredible people and doctors at the san francisco VA hospital. We ( Transsexuals) are finally being validated by the machine, sounds creepy , sorry......Selena

[Alexitis]

=D Kitty in the back!!!! =D!!

BTW I totally agree with u, we all go thru bad times, and fortunately OR unfortunately, they all go away... =]

[InsaneSouthAsian]

I just stumbled onto your channel, and I just wanted to say that I have a friend who's just like you, and I love her to death.

I just wanted to say, thank you for sharing your life with us and educating us at the same time. Because I hate those ignorant people who aren't aware that there are people like you and my friend who are perfect just the way they are.

<3

[furrypurrykitten]

Come one, come all...to see Charlotte and her crystal ball! ;)

Seriously, she's done' a lot just by her videos here, so give the gal a break, please...

[miki4midably]

I believe your stance is completely justifiable. Your videos (from the comments I've read) have inspired and helped a LOT of people, and you've been so gracious sharing your life this way. But just because you have doesn't give anyone the right to obligate you further. In the end, everyone still has to deal with their own life, walk their own path, and find their own answers. They might find them here, or not! Expecting you to solve all of their problems is lazy and ridiculous. Take care.

[crewband1701]

You are right about this, but there is alsow apint that we can all get help from a person that has gone or is going throw the same trials that we are. For you you should be prowed that we are looking to you and asking your advice on how to deal with are lives. So I tell you this go with the fath that you are a good person or we would not be looking to you for help with are lives. Amber

[TC38Cole]

Can I just tell you that you are beautiful? I'm a sucker for a girl with dimples, just wanted to share that with you.

[karmatic1110]

Thanks hun :)

[xXSheBldsQkMshnsXx]

Therapist Charlotte!! You freaking rock!! I hope I've never come across with you like that.. If I have, apologies.. I just think you have a very intelligent take on things. Oh not to bring up a sour subject but being here in Colorado did you follow the Angie Zapata case?? I was very please with the outcome check it out if you haven't!!

[cindytg87]

stuttering? =\

you don't stutter

[ChevalierMalFete]

All true....I like the pushing through message and don't give up. YouTube is no replacement for therapy and good for you for not playing a doctor on YT when you know you're not all that. Honest as always....yadda, yadda, yadda...now make with more about Abbey bitch :)

[karmatic1110]

Haha what's with everyone wanting to see my cat?

[Shadowmib]

maybe "cat" is a euphemism for something else? :D

[LiveFromNewYorkx4]

HAHA

new camera. very nice.

[jon2xu]

Hey how are ya?

[FergusonTO35]

How's your kitty doing? Does she say "reow"?

[karmatic1110]

She sleeps and makes cute sleeping noises.

[respect9898]

i just found out someone i know from HS is on youtube documenting their own F2M transition. its interesting, but i feel for him. obviously not easy.

[amberb57]

Good video! Everybody's transition is different because everybody's situation is different.

[karmatic1110]

Exactly

[KaoruKaneko]

You don't need to do anything really i mean i've contacted you but not in regards for support n such but more mainly because i see you as just another person that's similar to me o; and that i'd like to get to know you. more friends is nice y'know :3

[Jink5]

Cool.

Yeah, it is a lot of reading mainly because all the info you gotta find it yourself. And you have to read different versions of that info your are obtaining, to make sure for the actual facts of the process of transitioning. It is ones health that is at stake here, physically, mentally and emotionally.

Good luck to anyone who's going through transition. ;)

Thanks Charlotte! :)

[michelleleckronechat]

I know waiting

But that's just one of the things you have to go through

it is unfair but it's true

[Kimerats]

Nothing you can do girl, transition is not always easy and some times almost impossible but we cant spec that you will change the world for us.

hugs

[femstarlight]

Many people (TS or otherwise) are afraid to get therapy because if that fact was revealed to a partner, he/she might think "so you're one of THOSE people-damaged goods" then the relationship is over. But if a problem is bad enough, someone might as well get therapy.

[JenniferMarie1969]

That is why we all should have a Psychological Therapist to support us and follow us thru Transition.

[woodsmoke]

People's issues are so multifaceted. Transition is one thing, but finances, work, relationships, family and social acceptance, school, and life in general can really complicate things. Then throw transitioning in and it's even more difficult. It's easy to sink in the quicksand of someone else's life when you are their sounding board. I'm not even trans. I'm just a gay graduate student in the South trying to juggle life and *I* have to go to therapy. Kudos on the vid and don't get sucked in!

[someCallMeJen]

Don't let people make you feel like you have to be their personal savior. I for one have found your videos very helpful, and I appreciate you doing them. But I don't think it's right for people to make you feel bad for not helping them out even more. You have your own life to deal with. I know some of them are just grasping at anything they can for help, but sometimes people have to actually help themselves. The help you give so many just with your videos should be enough for them.

[karmatic1110]

Thanks hun

[killerrodan]

Good video as always.

[kimtvireland]

You should write a book

If I get a free one : - )

[kimtvireland]

signed perhaps

[kimtvireland]

and a simple dedication to my cat

as well

just a suggestion

[annyS3]

Tell them: Don't wait for acceptance, you'll wait forever. Don't ask for your rights, somone can always say no. Stand up, everyday, and demand these things, like anyone else. This is what will make our lot better, proud public presentation, the more and sooner the better for all of us. Thanks for all you do. I think you are very sweet.

[LilijannaGirl]

Caring too much is stressful...you don't have a duty to have to solve everyones problems.

All the best to you x

[strongback]

I am surprised you do as much as you do. You care a lot. Some people are always going to tret to take advantage of that and steal your energy emotional vampires. I am sure what you are able to provide is appreciated. But remember you need to make sure your ok before you can help others become ok.

[karmatic1110]

Thanks hun :D

[Honeybrown0219]

I hate that i always make comments non realtaed to the video but i have to. I just never realized how full your lips were. You have prima Angelina pout lips. Intertesting. Good feature, nice cam, and friendly eyes. The person that wins your heart will be a lucky son of a bitch.

[karmatic1110]

I think that I will be the lucky one :)

[KrisMTL]

reow

[karmatic1110]

I cannot help you with your cat problem. I am sorry.

[ErikaFTH]

I'm not trying to be a bitch either, but people, there's a great way to find help for transgender issues in your local areas. It's called Google.

If you live in or near a big city, (most of us do) chances there are one or two or five LGBT centers that can either help you or point you in the right direction. You'd probably be better off contacting them instead of some stranger on YouTube.

[Panzerfairy]

Very good points. Insightful as always. :)

[NaomiClareNL]

Grrr, this didn't show up in my inbox!

You know, sometimes a kick in the butt has immense therapeutic value., more than a couple of session with a therapist...

Btw, as a world famous youtuber you have been too nice to us. Hardly any ranting and bitching so people think they can go to you because you are so nice and trustworthy.

Back to waiting only another year (I hope) before hrt starts.

[karmatic1110]

Hahaha world famous LOL! Hardly. The only time people recognize me is at transgender conventions.  Even then I look different (I think better) in person.

[NaomiClareNL]

People do place links to your videos on forums here in the Netherlands and people from all over the world do leave comments on your videos.....

Close enough for me.

[punisherbrat]

people r freaking out on u wow thats bs. ur absolutely rite boout needing to grow sum skin 4 i no things can suk,my transition dosnt really, but i have friends that theirs do,and they blame others who try to help the best they can,thats wack.plze dont let these people scare u off youtube, cuz ur vids do help and personaly ,they're sum of the best i've seen

[c9rm3n]

I had been watching videos you tube for years before I realized I had to transition. It was stumbling onto your videos, that helped me realize, I need to do this now and not 5 years from now. and I remember writing a lot of really long messages not necessarily asking for help put getting involved where I maybe should not have been. Your videos have meant a lot to me.

[karmatic1110]

Thanks hun. I get such an influx of mail that it's really hard for me to respond to people.

[c9rm3n]

I think you responded and you were nice, but it was not just you. I was, I am still very lonely, but now I know what it is and I'm not using you tube to replace my social life anymore. Which I had done at the end of last year.

[c9rm3n]

or I tried to anyways

[selenamrtnz]

I would be happy to correspond and be a friend if you need, OK? be well!!

[ShellySummers]

Hello. Great points charlotte.

If there are any sisters here in nh watching this video. Please get hold of your senators and ask them to vote yes on hb 415. It's the transgender rights one here in NH. The bill goes before the NH Senate comitee on April 23 at 1pm.

[karmatic1110]

I thought the transgendered rights bill got shot down. Hmm. I will have to find the article in The Telegraph and figure it out.

[ShellySummers]

It did the first time. But the speaker here in NH put it back up and gave a really good speech. It passed 188 187 i think it was. Trying to get half my shift half covered so i can go. Only got like 30seconds to talk for the gay marriage bill last wensday.

[karmatic1110]

Wow! I was so upset when it didn't pass the first time. I love living here but I was rather disappointed. I was sick of it being turned down based on fear tactics.

[ShellySummers]

yea i heard on npr a few weeks ago both passed. Came home looked it up. Trying to find where it says guys could go into the ladies bathroom. Did a video on it. Suggested when a ts goes before a judge to change their name. If they have proof from a psychologist and a criminal background check done. If not a predictor. Then we should get a tf or tm on the license and we use the bathroom for the gender we live as.

[NaomiClareNL]

Isn't NH usually the odd one out in New England (compared to the other states in NEw England not the rest of the US)? I seem to remember having read something about that in a tourist guide.

[karmatic1110]

New Hampshire rocks. The motto is "Live Free or Die" and people have that attitude. I love it here.

[NaomiClareNL]

If I ever make it over to the other side of the Atlantic I will certainly check out your home state.

[ShellySummers]

awesome if i am here when you do i hope we get a chance to meet.

[NaomiClareNL]

That would be nice, I just have to get my hands on the money (and someone with a drivers license as I don't have one).

[cmetatud]

ur so cool.. wish i had a friend like u =P

and ::gasp:: kitty!! =D

[c9rm3n]

Having only acknowledged that I had to transition 6 months ago and having really only begun to step into public dressed, early transition is very painful.

I can't stop thinking I want to do everything in the next two months, but that is not possible or a good Idea. I don't remember you doing a video on this before.

Maybe this would be a good topic to do in a more laid out manner, then you could put in your education series.

[jacoblotcky]

"There's more waiting involved than really doing". That couldn't be more true. I always try to tell other people that patience is so central to getting on with this, but some just look at post-mid transition folks and think, well they got this far, what do they know that I don't. When the truth is most of us are still figuring it out. Thanks for bringing this up.

[karmatic1110]

Thank you for commenting. Looking back now, it's all gone by so fast.

[JudePoe]

Great video!

[karmatic1110]

Thank you :)

[777Marlene]

i would be most honored if you did honey, ....its not mean on your part dear!...my goodness in addition to joan of arc, you must sometimes feel like that guy in 1347, with the cart shoutin out ..."bring out your dead"...."bring out your dead".......your not the boils and plague lady !

[thegrimmreeper]

It's probably the bandanna, in films the character with the bandanna is usually super cool and formidable at what they do...

[karmatic1110]

....or they are a recently divorced woman who is just beginning a life altering journey in discovering her same-sex attraction to an unstable woman in her life.

[Forlorn79]

That sounds specific. I don't remember a character like that in films. However, if I did meet someone like that, I'd be sure to ask them to solve my personal problems! Actually, I'd just try to figure out how I can wear a bandana for myself, and look good. Hair must be kept under control... I need some advice about that, too! ;)

[karmatic1110]

Haha I totally made it up.

[ZiegeHerr]

That's it. Now I know who to ask if I ever run out of ammo.

[karmatic1110]

Haha you would have better luck asking my brother about ammo. He loves his guns.

[darkwitchtori]

But, you're on youtube - doesn't that make you a super hero? I know you have an outfit in your closet with a big "T" on the chest. What super powers does trannie-girl have? Can you fly? Can you burn people alive with the stink eye?

[karmatic1110]

I can be really angsty.

[777Marlene]

Charlotte hon, you shouldnt have to deal with all that, i mean saying as many helpful things as possible in your videos , thats one valid service , but people shouldnt expect you to be the tranny joan of arc.....we all have our own crosses to bair

[karmatic1110]

Haha! Tranny Joan of Ark...can I put that up on my wall of quotes on my profile?

[paulahare2]

your doing good

[LindsayStone]

Charlotte, you know I deal with the same thing as well prob not as much as you but I get it a lot and the crazy thing that I've noticed is this many even when giving concrete answers such as where to go to find a doctor or a therapist or what have you they end up not even following through with it. I don't think you where bitchy at all here people want things easy and I think this is a symptom of that.

[karmatic1110]

Agreed. It's especially concerning because transition in and of itself is NOT easy (for most people) and If they cannot do at least a little research they are going to run into huge issues down the line.

[jugfullasun87]

Hey great video. Thanks for that, and don't ever feel that you need to fix peoples lives. Thats too much of a burden on a person. Not even Psychologist do that. All anyone can really do is listen and give a little advice.

[xxShannonGreenxx]

tell them you're not a shrink

[mexlep101]

you did a lot for me by posting videos and telling your story, thats all you can do. And i thank you for that and you took the time to message me and answer a couple questions i had, and i am grateful for that no worrys:)

[Kellycampbell09]

you already do so much for us who are starting out. just by being you and sharing your problems. BTW thank you for that.

[arin4fun]

I've got to agree with everything that was said here. Especially the waiting part, the amount of waiting in transition very frustrating, but we all have to go through it,.

[Forlorn79]

I'm still waiting!  But I'm doing a little, too.

[spiritualgirl58]

Great Video! Each of our journeys may have some basics that are the same but for the most part they are unique experiences that no one else can tell us which path to take when we come to those forks in our journey. Transition is a lot about growing and self discovery what is right for ourselves. That is why therapy is important to some for some us because it is a therapist helping to guide us in that discovery and helping us to if the right answers for ourselves.

[sweetnsexyts]

I think sometimes tgirls who are starting out prefer to speak to someone who has gone through what she will go through. She feels as though she can relate more. I try to help as much as I can based on my own experiences but those who I can't help I do let them know that they need to see a therapist.

*J3NIF3R*

[karmatic1110]

I understand their motivation and if it's answering a question I am fine with finding an answer, however all too often I get every problem in the person's life and then a request to help them fix everything. I really don't know how to handle that and would feel horrible if I gave them bad advice.

[precociousone2003]

I was taught 2 answer "those" types of questions with my own question. LIke, "I'm not sure how I can help but are you a cop? Or are you writing a book & doing research?" Much better than second guessing your own gut instinct that generally pertains 2 your OWN situation, not THEIRS. Do you concur?

[syntaur]

County Mental Health Centers are a good place to look for help too... The offer councilers at rates depending on your financial situation... Their telephone number is in the County Section of your local telephone book...

[icecoldbath]

haha, Charlotte I gotta say this video is really bitchy, but to tell the truth, I feel the same way some times. Glad you made it and not me!

[karmatic1110]

Haha, I don't think it was THAT bad. I am glad that you can relate. I got yelled at yesterday because I couldn't magically fix a person's life.

[mitathehermita]

Thumbs up for what you say in this video... honesty is what helps best! Just keep on sharing your story and trials and tribulations and you'll be helping them that way, and they'll realize that I'm sure :)