What you just said right at the end about people listening. That's what always go through my head when I'm having a conversation with someone when there are other people around. That's why people always as me to repeat myself, and that usually drives me nuts.
That's tough man. I'm in a retail job and I can honestly say that I hate sales! It's not my fault, but I just can't connect with people. I just want to be left alone, though, I guess I'll have to wait until I have enough money for college until I can get a job that I like. Great video by the way, I'm glad you had the courage to put this on youtube. I know it's hard, but it made me feel better.
@invnd1245 My guess is he fell into a spiral of procrastination, which is a quite stereotypical symptom of AS, and very, very dangerous for the conditions. I'm glad he pulled through. It takes some people much, much longer, like, a lifetime.
I know its hard. You are stronger than you realize, you are very inspiring to us all. Maybe God intended you to be this way, in order bring your truth to the world. I bet you are very spiritually intelligent, most people with SA tend to be. Honestly they have a sense of reality about them. They are very truthful people to the core. Its hard to fool a person with SAD because they are not a part of the structure of certain cultures, beliefs and so on. God must have had a plan for these people.
Your a very beautiful person inside and out. This video hits home for me. I have held different job, and have walked out on each and everyone of them out of fear. I didn't last 6 months. Now that I have a family, I know the value of work and it strengthens me.
I'm only confronting this now, I haven't researched it much, but surely had friends with anxiety...Majority extroverted people would tell me it's all in the mind, and just stop thinking negative. I did the denial thing, and continued to try, make an ass of myself, and try again, and still do. I am unsure of the severity, but do have many panic attacks that I dwell on till this day. -jeff myspace com guamtip
my problem is that i like people but i worry about how i come across to other rather than a=paying attention to them. im a motorcyclist but dont have anything to say to others realy because everything i talk about to my other friends is of a certain ilk. luckily my anxiuosness is maybe not in the same form or as bad as yours mark but i would sure love to be able to produce better conversations with others.
Watching your video nearly made me cry. I relate SO MUCH to everything you're telling. I can absolutely imagine how hard it must have been to go abroad with all this fears. :( Beating myself into a job that forces me to be more selfconfident, has the opposite effect - as you told it. SA SUCKS. :(
well, i think you did a pretty great job in this video, i am definitely impressed:) plus, from you speaking about your job experience you seem to me to be a pretty intelligent guy. good luck in the future:)
Really nice video man! Everything you said really stood out and I too suffer from social anxiety. Am actually having some problems at work myself, with this being my first ever job at 21 years of age, I just seem to be stuck in a shell. I feel your pain bro, don't give up and keep head stong!.
you fucking egotistical whimp why should your problems be more important you take for granted things like a hot shower or a meal everyday. half of the world is starving and you live in a country with streets not roads and bitch about how you couldn't fit in ? try looking for job for 12 months first while your family is starving you hipocrit
Incidently, how in hell do you find the time to type this criticism? if you supposedly carry your families food home under gun fire? Where did you steal this computer from? You righteous ponse!!
Hey mark..well done for the video outside! I could see the pain on your face that it was hard to do yet you made it seem very easy. Keep it up mate as I'm sure it's doing some good. ;)
Mark, would you ever do a video about medications you have tried? I know it is such a personal thing so I am wondering if you had ever thought about it or not (or maybe you have and I just havent looked through yet).
I've only ever tried Effexor. I might have mentioned it in a vid from 2007, but I'd like to talk about it again properly. It was a weird experience :P
Filming outside is beneficial in three ways: you're doing an "exposure", you get fresh air, and you get some sun. Lately, I could use all three. Really good video!!
It's a JVC GR-D93. I dont think they manufacture them anymore. I got this one off of Ebay because it was nice and cheap. I cant do High Definition vids with it, but the quality is still pretty good.
Superb vid. I can relate to it all. It's amazing what we put ourselves through before we understand, after struggling to do it, why we can't. I had a top IT job, but, like you, my responsibilities grew to include travel and plenty of time away. I quit the kind of job that many would hack off their leg for. I don't regret it. I couldn't go on. What really pisses me off is that I have the ability and I had the opportunity of a lifetime, but my SA was the hurdle that made me fall. Ive been robbed.
Yep I hear ya. I feel like I wont ever reach my full potential because of social phobia. I regretted leaving my job, but I later heard that the company did some reorganising and made my whole department redundant. So one way or another, I would have been out of a job anyway.
7:40 - 7:46 I don't think I'd ever be able to travel abroad for work. It'd be too taxing for me. If I'd been in your shoes, I would've found some way to wriggle out of that responsibility. I give you credit for simply being able to consider traveling.
Ive moved around quite abit but i was situated in timaru for a while which is maybe 2 hrs away not even that. Christchurch is nice but very big i can understand how it could have made things alot worse for you. I know exactly what you mean tho. People are always nice its the worries of anxiety kickin in which holds you back right. i get scared ill blush alot! which makes it even harder for me to interact with people cause its very visible
Timaru! Yeah that rings a bell :) I'm pretty sure I went there. My house mate's parents had a farm around that way. I got to see the famous NZ Merino Sheep, haha
yah man, the whole job thing when you got SA can be a huge ordeal, i can definitely relate--i've worked in kitchens to avoid dealing w/ people, now i'm an underground parking lot attendant. I also used to work on movie sets doing background acting,but all the socializing,being on cam, having to get hair/makeup done etc. was too much for me for the most part,though sometimes it could be fun. My sis helped me too at some points. It's hard, i'm not lazy but i just fear the social aspects of working
does your family know about your SA? Having a job is difficult my first one it took me years to settle in with the guys even when i did they never really took me seriously even though i was allowed into their group i was never really into their group for the first few years i was kinda teased alot.
Yeah my family knows about it now. I told my Mum about 2 years ago and said to her not to keep it a secret. So she told the rest of the family, which saved me the job of doing it :]
Which part did you go to? I know exactly what you mean i made a very small move to Australia which is like only 8 hours away. Still even tho i went to school here and made few friends, who werent really friends now that i think about it. or maybe i just didnt make the effort im not sure. i still find myself being miserable and heaps lonely. At the moment im looking for a job. Its been atleast a month now without employment. its a hard one!
I lived in Christchurch :) It's a pretty cool place.
Yeah it's hard to know whether you've really made a connection with people. I thought that I might make a connection with my house mates in NZ, but it just didnt happen. They were nice people, but the SA just got in the way.
Oh, the irony. Such a beautiful day, and the discomfort you feel outdoors deprives you of it's beauty to some extent. I can totally relate. I wish I couldn't, but I can.
Hey, it's great to see you've done this video outside! Congratulations and I can relate to having that anxiety of other people outside popping in unexpectedly while making a video. Privacy is so important. It's pretty much the reason why I don't make a lot of videos outside.
First comment woot. A nice change of scenery, except for that damn WOOPING bird.
I can't stand talking to people at jobs either. Had a job where I answered telephones, which I will never do again. I too tried to force myself to keep working there, and I almost fainted every day on the job.
Anyway yeah, I can't imagine how scary moving to another country for a job is.
How did you manage to pay for your college/expenses if you had no job?
MisterHeizenberg 4 months ago
I relate so much/:
idkmyuser1 7 months ago
What you just said right at the end about people listening. That's what always go through my head when I'm having a conversation with someone when there are other people around. That's why people always as me to repeat myself, and that usually drives me nuts.
shadowfrost91 1 year ago
Comment removed
shadowfrost91 1 year ago
That's tough man. I'm in a retail job and I can honestly say that I hate sales! It's not my fault, but I just can't connect with people. I just want to be left alone, though, I guess I'll have to wait until I have enough money for college until I can get a job that I like. Great video by the way, I'm glad you had the courage to put this on youtube. I know it's hard, but it made me feel better.
Bellerophon2200 1 year ago
You said it was your first and last full-time job... Why last?
invnd1245 1 year ago
@invnd1245 I didnt get another full time job until 5 years later. I'd been unemployed a long time when I made this video.
BulletProofMonkeon 1 year ago
@BulletProofMonkeon 5 years?? Why so long? Is it you who didn't wanna search for new job or people didn't wanna hire you?
invnd1245 1 year ago
@invnd1245 My guess is he fell into a spiral of procrastination, which is a quite stereotypical symptom of AS, and very, very dangerous for the conditions. I'm glad he pulled through. It takes some people much, much longer, like, a lifetime.
HabituallyObsessed 9 months ago
Get on with it!!
kritiq1 1 year ago
I know its hard. You are stronger than you realize, you are very inspiring to us all. Maybe God intended you to be this way, in order bring your truth to the world. I bet you are very spiritually intelligent, most people with SA tend to be. Honestly they have a sense of reality about them. They are very truthful people to the core. Its hard to fool a person with SAD because they are not a part of the structure of certain cultures, beliefs and so on. God must have had a plan for these people.
desertflower20 1 year ago
@desertflower20
Social anxiety is a disorder dumbass, a chemical imbalance in the brain, god has nothing to do with it.
Was the holocaust gods plan too?
MisterHeizenberg 4 months ago
Your a very beautiful person inside and out. This video hits home for me. I have held different job, and have walked out on each and everyone of them out of fear. I didn't last 6 months. Now that I have a family, I know the value of work and it strengthens me.
desertflower20 1 year ago
This has been flagged as spam show
I'm only confronting this now, I haven't researched it much, but surely had friends with anxiety...Majority extroverted people would tell me it's all in the mind, and just stop thinking negative. I did the denial thing, and continued to try, make an ass of myself, and try again, and still do. I am unsure of the severity, but do have many panic attacks that I dwell on till this day. -jeff myspace com guamtip
relictv 1 year ago
Comment removed
Idunnoquestionmark 2 years ago
HOT
ktbaby077 2 years ago
my problem is that i like people but i worry about how i come across to other rather than a=paying attention to them. im a motorcyclist but dont have anything to say to others realy because everything i talk about to my other friends is of a certain ilk. luckily my anxiuosness is maybe not in the same form or as bad as yours mark but i would sure love to be able to produce better conversations with others.
chrislegend06 2 years ago
great videos .. I have SA too and they're v helpful :D
OHYESx 2 years ago
Congratulations on leaving your home land to go abroad. I cannot even fathom doing this.
drealm 2 years ago
what's IT?
hi mark :=) haha saw your name on facebook
natystube 2 years ago
Watching your video nearly made me cry. I relate SO MUCH to everything you're telling. I can absolutely imagine how hard it must have been to go abroad with all this fears. :( Beating myself into a job that forces me to be more selfconfident, has the opposite effect - as you told it. SA SUCKS. :(
allaboutmystuff 2 years ago 7
dam i'm like u i suffer from SP and i thought about suicide a lot :( it really sux
demando2 2 years ago
hiiiiiiiii mark! first of all u lk damn good in this video!!!:))
u r so handsome and i see u replied so nicely 2 sm cmnt..u should be most confident...
i think if u come out of this fear n be urslf nt caring wat d world thinks of u..u will be d best...
disisriya 2 years ago
Lookin darn cute..lol
nickster3k 2 years ago
well, i think you did a pretty great job in this video, i am definitely impressed:) plus, from you speaking about your job experience you seem to me to be a pretty intelligent guy. good luck in the future:)
cardszzz 2 years ago
Really nice video man! Everything you said really stood out and I too suffer from social anxiety. Am actually having some problems at work myself, with this being my first ever job at 21 years of age, I just seem to be stuck in a shell. I feel your pain bro, don't give up and keep head stong!.
Gavstaaaa 3 years ago 3
Props on making this video mate. I couldnt do one yet. takes courage and you have that so I hope you get better.
damiancopado 3 years ago
Malkut002M - Fucking dumb cunt
euroduck 3 years ago 10
This has been flagged as spam show
you fucking egotistical whimp why should your problems be more important you take for granted things like a hot shower or a meal everyday. half of the world is starving and you live in a country with streets not roads and bitch about how you couldn't fit in ? try looking for job for 12 months first while your family is starving you hipocrit
Malkut002M 3 years ago
Incidently, how in hell do you find the time to type this criticism? if you supposedly carry your families food home under gun fire? Where did you steal this computer from? You righteous ponse!!
fredbloggs02 3 years ago 11
Comment removed
Stepuptothemic 3 years ago
all of my jobs have been disasters due to anxiety, just lost another, but trying again... thanks for the video as always mark
-chad
camaples 3 years ago 4
thank u for sharing.. ur a very strong person for making this video eventhough its obviously not easy for u
nafsullawwama 3 years ago 2
Hey mark..well done for the video outside! I could see the pain on your face that it was hard to do yet you made it seem very easy. Keep it up mate as I'm sure it's doing some good. ;)
Stepuptothemic 3 years ago 2
More videos mate. My story is pretty similar to yours
Sclorched 3 years ago 3
Mark, would you ever do a video about medications you have tried? I know it is such a personal thing so I am wondering if you had ever thought about it or not (or maybe you have and I just havent looked through yet).
IrishKelly00 3 years ago
I've only ever tried Effexor. I might have mentioned it in a vid from 2007, but I'd like to talk about it again properly. It was a weird experience :P
BulletProofMonkeon 3 years ago
Filming outside is beneficial in three ways: you're doing an "exposure", you get fresh air, and you get some sun. Lately, I could use all three. Really good video!!
wiredworldwide 3 years ago
I subbed. I think your vids can inspire others. Looking forward to more.
Chriskct 3 years ago
what kind of camera are using im curious because I want to make some more videos. good video btw
damiancopado 3 years ago
It's a JVC GR-D93. I dont think they manufacture them anymore. I got this one off of Ebay because it was nice and cheap. I cant do High Definition vids with it, but the quality is still pretty good.
BulletProofMonkeon 3 years ago
Superb vid. I can relate to it all. It's amazing what we put ourselves through before we understand, after struggling to do it, why we can't. I had a top IT job, but, like you, my responsibilities grew to include travel and plenty of time away. I quit the kind of job that many would hack off their leg for. I don't regret it. I couldn't go on. What really pisses me off is that I have the ability and I had the opportunity of a lifetime, but my SA was the hurdle that made me fall. Ive been robbed.
mushymee 3 years ago 2
Yep I hear ya. I feel like I wont ever reach my full potential because of social phobia. I regretted leaving my job, but I later heard that the company did some reorganising and made my whole department redundant. So one way or another, I would have been out of a job anyway.
BulletProofMonkeon 3 years ago
Comment removed
mushymee 3 years ago
7:40 - 7:46 I don't think I'd ever be able to travel abroad for work. It'd be too taxing for me. If I'd been in your shoes, I would've found some way to wriggle out of that responsibility. I give you credit for simply being able to consider traveling.
GeneratedCrisis 3 years ago
Damn you're pretty hot. If I was gay, I'd swing by the UK and show you a good time...
spiffyrich 3 years ago
man you worry me. You worry me, hahaha
BulletProofMonkeon 3 years ago
hahahaha i knew you'd like that ;)
spiffyrich 3 years ago
Hey now, we're not pullin the sheep jokes are we :) I actually was in Temuka which is like ten minutes closer to christchurch.
what was there Lastname i mite know them
shantalising 3 years ago
I lived close to there actually.
Ive moved around quite abit but i was situated in timaru for a while which is maybe 2 hrs away not even that. Christchurch is nice but very big i can understand how it could have made things alot worse for you. I know exactly what you mean tho. People are always nice its the worries of anxiety kickin in which holds you back right. i get scared ill blush alot! which makes it even harder for me to interact with people cause its very visible
shantalising 3 years ago
Timaru! Yeah that rings a bell :) I'm pretty sure I went there. My house mate's parents had a farm around that way. I got to see the famous NZ Merino Sheep, haha
BulletProofMonkeon 3 years ago
yah man, the whole job thing when you got SA can be a huge ordeal, i can definitely relate--i've worked in kitchens to avoid dealing w/ people, now i'm an underground parking lot attendant. I also used to work on movie sets doing background acting,but all the socializing,being on cam, having to get hair/makeup done etc. was too much for me for the most part,though sometimes it could be fun. My sis helped me too at some points. It's hard, i'm not lazy but i just fear the social aspects of working
greenxxghostie 3 years ago
Yeah thats it. I'm sure all of us are hard workers, it's just this fuckin phobia holds us back. And then everyone thinks we're lazy or something.
BulletProofMonkeon 3 years ago
does your family know about your SA? Having a job is difficult my first one it took me years to settle in with the guys even when i did they never really took me seriously even though i was allowed into their group i was never really into their group for the first few years i was kinda teased alot.
swiv2d 3 years ago
Yeah my family knows about it now. I told my Mum about 2 years ago and said to her not to keep it a secret. So she told the rest of the family, which saved me the job of doing it :]
BulletProofMonkeon 3 years ago
I am from New Zealand. :)
Which part did you go to? I know exactly what you mean i made a very small move to Australia which is like only 8 hours away. Still even tho i went to school here and made few friends, who werent really friends now that i think about it. or maybe i just didnt make the effort im not sure. i still find myself being miserable and heaps lonely. At the moment im looking for a job. Its been atleast a month now without employment. its a hard one!
shantalising 3 years ago
I lived in Christchurch :) It's a pretty cool place.
Yeah it's hard to know whether you've really made a connection with people. I thought that I might make a connection with my house mates in NZ, but it just didnt happen. They were nice people, but the SA just got in the way.
BulletProofMonkeon 3 years ago
Oh, the irony. Such a beautiful day, and the discomfort you feel outdoors deprives you of it's beauty to some extent. I can totally relate. I wish I couldn't, but I can.
GiftedSleep 3 years ago
Well done, Mark! Pat yourself on the back for filming outside, too! That's a pretty big deal, right there.
What part of New Zealand did you stay at for the 6 months?
CreepyTim 3 years ago
Thanks dude, feels so weird doing a video outside. So much more exposed. I was on the south island in Christchurch
BulletProofMonkeon 3 years ago
Enjoy watching your videos, your life is so like mine its spooky apart from fainting in college :)
markybhoyuk 3 years ago
Huge effort! Well done man. I love how you're making these leaps.Awesome.
yourewho 3 years ago
You've had really great jobs. Nice to see you outside.
Beanye 3 years ago
haha, thx. They werent that great, but I'll talk about that more in my next vid :P
BulletProofMonkeon 3 years ago
Hey, it's great to see you've done this video outside! Congratulations and I can relate to having that anxiety of other people outside popping in unexpectedly while making a video. Privacy is so important. It's pretty much the reason why I don't make a lot of videos outside.
SkepticScepter 3 years ago
Very nice, great to see you making more videos.
jimswe 3 years ago
First comment woot. A nice change of scenery, except for that damn WOOPING bird.
I can't stand talking to people at jobs either. Had a job where I answered telephones, which I will never do again. I too tried to force myself to keep working there, and I almost fainted every day on the job.
Anyway yeah, I can't imagine how scary moving to another country for a job is.
HenhousetheRed 3 years ago
lol, yeah damn pigeon. I should have brought the cat out. >: ]
BulletProofMonkeon 3 years ago