Added: 3 years ago
From: retsupurae
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  • slowbeef's noise at 4:29 is the most perfect noise

  • Really?

    Fucking really?

  • You know what the next Smash Bros needs? Cripples.

  • god that was so goddamn stupid. i have an idea for the next halo game, master chief just randomly goes into cardiac arrest during a fight. they just leave him there to die.

  • Slowbeef man, this one must've hit you hard!

  • Tomb Raider 3 - Lara Goes Bald

    Now with more chemotherapy!

  • You heard the man, Square-Enix. Tomb Raider 2 is the best game ever, now hurry up and re-release it on GOG.

  • They should create a fifth Indiana Jones film where Indy gets fedora cancer.

  • @Mysterious0Bob cancer issue has been addressed multiple times as well the retarded "front-loaded anvils" joke. Almost nobody here has commented on just how absolutely fucking terrible Tomb Raider is as a series. Horrible storyline, abominable controls, vomit-inducing graphics and awkward gameplay, saved only by a gimmicky female protagonist with big tits. I would rather fuck an Easy Bake oven than play this abortion of a game.

  • @f0reverITG Watch out, we got a badass over here.

  • Tomb Raider 2 gets an A and SOTN gets a B? Are you FUCKING kidding me?

  • @f0reverITG Of all the issues in this video, thats what you point out?

  • @f0reverITG To be fair, Tomb Raider 2 is one of the best PS1 games ever made. Not better than SOTN, but definitely not worse. They are both on par with each other.

  • Clinton + Feminism

    DOES NOT COMPUTE

  • We have a challenge for Eidos. In the next Deus Ex, create a story line where It's actually a prequel to the first game.

    Imagine the drama, as a badass Adam Jensen still persisting in his worldly adventures despite his augmentations.

    It may not be revolutionary, no pun intended, But we're sure the world would be shocked, stunned, and moved at the effort to create a sequel to Deus Ex that isn't Invisible war.

  • Gaming in the Reagan Years: Princess Toadstool Gets AIDS.

  • Super Smash Brothers Brawl was amazing, but if the series is going to continue, the next game has to include how the characters turned from dolls into trophies.

  • God damnit I hate this navgtr guy. I wish we could vote to ban people from youtube.

  • His belief in death making for great drama manifests is also apparent in his FF8 vid, which is hilarious.

  • I'm starting to wonder who these Navigator videos were intended for in the first place. They're too boring to be intended for kids, and too stupid to be for anyone else.

  • @mysterykcad They are Intended for Ash.

  • @1tobedoneX Who the hell is Ash?

  • @mysterykcad Ash Ketchum! The dumbass!!!

  • @1tobedoneX Well this may come as a surprise, but that's not the first thing that comes to my mind when dealing with a review of Tomb Raider. I'm sorry that I can't follow your extremely convoluted thought process.

  • Being a games designer I would've said 'A sequel to Tomb Raider 2 may be enhanced by a deeper plot, perhaps concerning a magical plague Lara has contracted to provide the opportunity for temporal restrictions and gameplay objectivity'. I don't think I would've mentioned breast cancer tho. xD

  • A funny comment in which I do not use this "I have a challenge for..." joke.

    THUMBS UP PLEASE

  • He isn't called Navigtr he is called Gorge Woods and it stands for .

    National Academy of Video Game Testers and Reviewers. No jokeing.

  • So, the potty is broken and mommy doesn't know what to do, the fixer guy comes and takes a crap on it and the potty blew up, and the mommy says way don't want a balloon potty.

  • @XxTOTALROCKSTARxX W-what?

  • Breast Cancer, what was your relationship with Rita?

  • These jokes get funnier as I get older.

  • LMFAO I pissed my pants at the breast Cancer thing. WTF?!?!?! XD

  • I love Slowbeef's impressions of Navgtr.

  • He must be a troll

  • @JackIsASexyMf

    nope navigator's reviews are posted form an old video game show and retitled "gaming in the cintion years" the guy in them is dead but rest asure he means what he said.

  • @deviltetsuo555 Would have been shocking if it were breast cancer that killed him :P

  • Maybe the guys from CTRL+ALT+DEL watched the video and realized that a miscarriage was the only way to move forward.

  • Can someone please tell me if navgtr is a troll? The videos he makes (like his "like his response to his fans for Final Fantasy 7", for example) often nearly convinces me that he is, but at the same time I can't tell. Does anybody really know?

  • @Ironfruit16 He isn't, these videos were actually broadcast in a Maryland TV channel in the 90's and later uploaded to Youtube, It's basically what happens when an old man who knows nothing about video games tries to make video game reviews.

  • LARA CROFT AND THE GAURDAIN OF LIGHT SUCKS!!! NEXT GAME, WE SHOULD BE DRIVING THROUGH wATERFALLS OBEYING SPEED LIMITS AND GETTING LARA TO THE HOSPITAL BEFORE LARA DIES OF BREAST CANCER!!!

  • Navgtr, did you kill Lara?

  • we love lara, NOW KILL HER

  • I wonder if Navgtr knows that men can also get breast cancer. NOT SO FUNNY NOW, IS IT????

  • The test results came back. Lara Croft definitely has breast cancer.

  • @INeedUrTurnips Lol, The Room reference.

  • @INeedUrTurnips Hahaha Funny story Turnips

  • @INeedUrTurnips

    I'm sure she'll be fine

    By the way, how's your sex life?

  • @Megamildman

    YOU'RE TEARING ME APART NAVGTR!!!

  • @INeedUrTurnips You're tearing me apart Lara!

  • @INeedUrTurnips She doesn't wanna talk abut it...

  • @INeedUrTurnips Mom, you're not dying.

  • @fireluigi12 Mom, I don't love Johnny, I love Mark.

  • Comment removed

  • Classic Retsupurae.

  • My only challenge is to figure out why the music video for Oasis's "Wonderwall" is a feature video to this.

  • I have a challenge for.......

    (looks at comments section)

    Darnit, several hundred people already beat me to it..........

  • ...and then everyone makes a breast cancer joke in every single navgtr retsupurae video's comments. It's an old joke, let it die already.

    ...but knowing the internet, it'll never die. None of the jokes posted on the internet will ever die.

  • "I can't get over it!"

    Neither will Laura...

  • I fucking died when i heard "Breast Cancer".

  • What??? Breast Cancer for a Tomb Raider game? He can't be serious. XD

  • His grandiose description of the game during his grading is definitely a stark contrast to the gameplay of him dicking around shooting at hawks like a retard.

  • haha slowbeef "WHAT HAS TO BE THE MATTER WITH YOU TO THINK OF THAT?!?!?!" I agree lmfao....

  • I have a challenge for navgtr.

    Stop being a fucking retard.

    sincearly - Lara Croft

  • "If you don't have Lara have breast cancer in Tomb Raider 3, then you are stupid. I know it's insulting but it's the truth."

  • Comment removed

  • From navgtr's channel.

    "The opinions expressed are those of the original third party 90's writers and not the narrator or NAVGTR Corp., which was incorporated in 2001. These videos pre-date and thus are unrelated to the NAViGaTR Awards, for which the ubiquitous narrator does not and never did determine (or vote upon) the outcome/recipients. "

  • I have a challenge for everyone commenting on this video.

    In your next comment, create a funny comment in which you do not use this "I have a challenge for..." joke.

    Imagine the drama of you being original, but still persisting in being funny in the comment section despite a different set-up.

    It needs fleshing out, no pun in existence, but I guarantee that the commenting world will be shocked, stunned, and moved at the efforts to make these comments more meaningful.

  • @TaleOfNobody That was poetic.

  • @TaleOfNobody Based on this comment I have to assume you had something to do with Rita's death.

  • @TaleOfNobody Are you trying to pun-ish us for our senses of humor?

  • @inferno232 pfftttt ahahaha

  • @TaleOfNobody The irony in this is that you yourself used that very same joke structure.

  • @DrButler Thats the joke.

  • @TaleOfNobody um but comming up with sumthing orignal reqoirs u to hve n imagination n life experience >.> creativity is hard insert overused and crappy meme here how to be funny without reciprocating at such a benign level that puts you on the same intellectual prowess as a parrot????

  • @TaleOfNobody All puns and funny things have been used before. There is no such thing as origonal.

  • @LordofDragns Why would you think that? You say it like humanity existed for long xD

  • @chadoftoons Your mind is blown.

  • @TaleOfNobody What I found ironic is that there was a similar joke by TAGMOMG in the comments

  • I have a challenge to konami.

    Make a teenage mutant ninja turtles game where the turtles go through puberty. Imagine the drama of having 4 horny teenage boys fighting the foot soldiers despite their condition.

    It'll stick up for itself in the video game market -no pun intended- but we guarantee that TMNT fans will be shocked, stunned and moved that will make the story more relatable.

    We love the turtles but it's about time the gaming industry had a big shock for a change.

  • If slowbeef and Diabetus both got breast cancer, retsupuraes would be alot better.

  • Everything needs more breast cancer.

  • Tomb raider 3: laura feels a lump

  • Wow.

    I bet this guy looked at Super Mario Sunshine and thought "You know what this game is missing? MELANOMA!"

    Fucked up. Just...wow.

  • I like their laugh after Navgtr says "It needs fleshing out, no pun intended." @ 1:28

  • This is fucking hilarious.

  • lol anyone else want to press any button at 1:22 ? xDDD

  • Can't wait for his review of Uncharted 3 and his challenge to Naughty Dog for giving Drake prostate cancer for Uncharted 4.

  • Why does it have to be breast cancer?! Why can't it be skin cancer?! Or lung cancer?

  • @AirConditioner23 Because lung cancer does not involve tits, and the #1 rule online is TITS OR GTFO.

  • Make a game where in the near future, America becomes Imperialist again (do not ask how, that doesn't matter) and they go out conquering smaller countries.

  • @CamelBallZee So like right now :P

  • @tuobniklat Kinda, but more of a 2021 kind of thing.

  • Im laughing so hard!

  • What the hell is this reaction thing?

  • You know what would be cool idea for a game. A zombie killing game like call of duty zombies but with a randomly generated city (or 10 city blocks randomly generated). I would pay 100 bucks for it especially if it had multiplayer.

  • The best part is when the guys are noticeably choking back their laughter so as not to totally walk over the shit that's rocketing out of his mouth.

  • I have to wonder if this rant about breast cancer is George Wood's meager attempt at an Aristocrats joke.

  • what.the.fuck?

  • navgtr was the G4 of the 90's

  • Alright, so Kirby's Epic Yarn was fun, but I think Nintendo really needs to address the psychological aspect of Kirby's compulsive eating disorder if they really want to keep the series moving forward.

  • Use the Transcribe Audio option on closed captions. It picks up most of what navgtr says perfectly. He's officially a robot.

  • I have a challenge for Gearbox Software, in the next Duke Nukem create a storyline where Duke gets herpes.

    Imagine the drama, as a vulnerable Duke Nukem still persists on his ass kicking adventures despite having bumps everywhere.

    It needs some popping, no pun intended, but we're sure the gaming world would be cock blocked, scared, and disappointed by the efforts to make Duke's character more like a tool.

    We love Duke, but it's about time we fuck with him for a change.

  • @MitchZer0II this is made of win.

  • These videos are the most hilarious videos I've seen all summer.

  • *facedesk* *facedesk*

  • Front Loaded Anvils hahahahaha wtf.........

  • my game idea is like gta + nfs + cod + every game what is , exept sims series, on the network, to play online, create charecter and live how you want, where u can buy cars, cribs and even islands, where is all world map. if u join army than they sent u to hot points, like afganistan and you feel like u are playin call of duty, or you raise to president and you can play even strategy, war and economics. from ilegal racing 2 legal, from bum to serial killer or police oficer. and only with 1 life.

  • @jaroshus

    Sounds like Game of the year

  • I have a challenge for Valve.

    In the next Team Fortress 2 update, have the mafia break the Scout's legs.

    Imagine the drama of a vunerable Scout, still persisting his intel runs despite being crippled.

    It needs more bacon, no pun intended, but we guaruntee Team Fortress 2 players won't be shocked, stunned, moved at the efforts to make the Scout's character more meaningful.

    WE HATE THAT LITTLE YOU-KNOW-WHAT! It's about time the pro Scout players had a big dissapoint for a change.

  • What the fuck does cancer have to do with raiding tombs and recovering aincient artifacts? Honestly, the rebooted Tomb Raider looks even better in comparison to this guys idea....

  • This guy has to be the ultimate 90's troll. He can't possibly be serious. Christ, he's so unbelievably awful, it hurts me. The review he did of Symphony of the Night seriously made me blind with rage and fury. His SOTN bullshit ranting makes it obvious the guy never even KNEW about the upside-down castle, let alone play through the bad ending of the game. He's so terrible I want him to die more than Jack Thompson, and that's no easy feat.

  • @TheRoomy You...do know he's dead, right?

  • @SAPattersong yay hes dead we need to thank who ever did it and if not a person then we thank god

  • @TheRoomy Your face when he's been dead for a while now, actually.

  • @TheRoomy fuck i know right least he gone now i feel sorry for the people who had to raze this fucking tumor

  • @rocklee989

    No he's actually still alive he alledgidly claimed to be dead;

  • @pilebomber well damnit

  • Greatest pitch ever

  • all the breast cancer jokes on these videos are freakin hilarious

  • I have a challenge for the HUB, in season 2 of My little Pony Friendship is magic, create a storyline where Twilight Sparkle gets horn cancer. Imagine the drama, as a vulnerable Twilight Sparkle, still persisting in her magical adventures despite her illness. It needs some magic, no pun intended, but we're sure fans will be shocked, stunned and moved by the efforts to make Twilight's character more meaningful.

    We love Twilight Sparkle, but it's about time Bronies get a big shock for a change!

  • @MitchZer0II Ah, but they already did that in episode 9, remember?

    Now, Pinkie Pie getting diabetes, on the other hand...they haven't gone THERE yet.

  • Tomb Raider 12: Lara Croft has to struggle her way through a bad break up!!! OMAIGAWD!

  • @kittehfoodz

    Thats stupid, what kind of man would break up with Lara Croft? you'd have to be gay.

  • Lara Croft: Womb Raider. A game about birth control.

  • I have a challenge for....

    no, imagine the drama.. of...

    DAMN IT, CUT

  • "Is Eidos devouring capcom?" *ChrisBrown1992 comes running*

  • "It needs fleshing out, no pun intended..."

    Wait, did he really just... Is that what I think it... No, no one can be THAT big of a dick. I must be imagining things.

  • As soon as they invent time travel, I'll have a challenge for Navgtr's mum:

    As soon as she gets preggers with Navgtr, she aborts him. Imagine the drama of a world where Navgtr never existed. Retsupurae will be without some of its most legendary riffs, and I'll be going straight to Hell, but on the other hand, there'll be one less guy making gamers look like insane creeps who indulge in bizarre fetishes when they're not shooting up high schools.

    We love Navgtr, but...wait, no we don't.

  • @DorianCairne The idea needs a push in the right direction (No Pun Intended)

  • @TAGMOMG

    ... but you just used it.

  • ... 0_o;

    I... really have nothing to say. It speaks for itself. There is nothing, absolutely nothing, to say that can add to the complete idiocy of this game idea.

  • Someone should drop a couple front loaded anvils on this douchebag's nutsack.

  • I have a challenge for Team Meat.

    In their next game, create a story line in which Meat Boy develops salmonella.

    Imagine the drama, of a vulnerable Meat Boy still persisting in dying over and over again despite his illness.

  • THIS IS THE MOST VIEWED RESTUPURAE THAT ISN'T MARIO.

  • Well, you never know what Eidos would do with Lara Croft next game, especially since it's a reboob-I mean boot.

  • George Wood (conceptualizing his review of Final Fantasy VII): "We have a challenge for SquareSoft: write a story where Aeris gets stabbed to death by Sephiroth. Imagine the drama of a--"

    *he reaches the end of Disc 1*

    George (restarting his train of thought): "If you don't like Final Fantasy VII, then you are STUPID!!"

  • what the fuck? that was funny shit when he mentioned breast cancer! well not really funny that is some evil shit if you think about it.

  • I have a challenge for NavGTR: Go die in a hole.

    There, obligatory joke done quick. >.>

  • I have a challenge for Notch.

    In the next Minecraft update, characters develop carpal tunnel syndrome.

    Imagine the drama, of a vulnerable minecraft guy, still persisting in digging tunnels despite his illness.

  • I wouldn't doubt that this is how we got Other M.

    NAVGTR: "...we have a challenge for Nintendo. Make a game where Samus has all of her abilities right from the start but cannot use them due to orders from a seemingly stoic CO. Imagine the drama of a Samus unable to use her Super Missiles despite the fact that the door that moves the plot along can only be opened by them."

    Sakamoto, you're absolutely sure he wasn't just joking there?

  • How sad is it that I would actually play that were it real?

  • fucking kimo raider 3

  • I have a challenge to ZUN.

    In the next Touhou game, have every character be MALE.

    Imagine the drama, of a world of lolis, suddenly deprived of the fetish fuel that draws most of its fans to it.

    It needs fleshing out, no pun intended, but we guarantee the entire Touhou community will be stunned, shocked and moved at the efforts to make Touhou more than a game for lolicons.

    We love Touhou, but it's about time the fandom had a big shock for a change.

  • @Archimonde259 Never thought someone would do Touhou xD

  • @jettythesunfish Well, I did it. ZUN, YOU HAVE BEEN CHALLENGED.

  • Front loaded anvils.

    ....

    Well, at least he didn't say "Meat baskets nestled in over-the-shoulder boulder-holders.".

  • @jettythesunfish That is the best thing I have ever read.

  • We have a challenge to navgtr: create a video in which he dies of cancer. Imagine the drama of a vulnerable navgtr, still persisting in his inexplicable reviews despite his illness.  It needs fleshing out, no pun intended, but we guarantee the gaming world would be shocked, stunned, and moved at the effort to make navgtr's videos more meaningful. we love navgtr, but it's about time the industry had a big shock for a change.

  • Every time I hear/read "imagine the DRAMA" I think of those episodes of Pokemon where Meowth would come up with a convoluted domestic use for that week's Pokemon. "IMAGINE DA BAWSS..."

  • @EponymousKid

    Imagine the Boss, still persisting on torturing Team Rocket by making them get killed by Pikachu over and over again.

  • I have a challenge for Marble Hornets

    In the next entry, Slenderman gets testicular cancer.

    Imagine the drama, of a vunerable Slendy, still persisting in stalking Jay and eating children.

    It needs fleshing out, no pun intended, but we guantee the ARG world will be stunned, stalked and eaten at the efforts of to make Slendermans dinner more meaningful

    We love Slenderman, but it's about time the children had a big shock for a change.

  • @GrawrawrLPs Goddammit. This one made me crack up.

  • I have a challenge for Nintendo..

    Create a new Mario game in which Mario gets AIDS. Imagine the drama of Mario still trying to collect all the coins and rescure his princess despite his condition.

    ans might be split on whether it was a good choice or not -no pun intended- but we guarantee that Mario fans will be shocked, stunned and moved at the effort to make the Mario's story more meaningful.

    We love Mario, but it's about time the gaming industry had a big shock for a change.

  • I have a challenge for Gamefreak.

    In the next Pokemon game, Professor Oak has a brain tumor.

    Imagine the drama of a cancer ridden Samuel Oak, still insisting on spread Pokemon knowledge to the Pokemon world.

    It needs fleshing out (no pun intended), but we guarantee the entire world will be stunned, shocked, and moved at the efforts to make Professor Oak's character more meaningful.

    We love Gamefreak, but it's about time the industry had a big shock for a change.

  • @momoandmiz OMG, that is an awesome idea! You should pitch that to Nintendo!!!!!

  • if you go to navgtr's channel Retsupurae is in other channels which i thought was funny

  • I see that this is the source of the phenomenon.

    I have found enlightenment, and drama that requires fleshing out. (No pun intended.)

  • I have a challenge for Rockstar Games.

    In the next Grand Theft Auto game, create a storyline in which the main character is an Al-Qaida terrorist.

    Imagine the internal struggle of the suicide bomber, set on blowing up a metro with C-4's strapped around his cock n balls and being promised paradise after death.

    It'll needs a bigger bang, no pun intended, but we guarantee that the gaming world will be shocked, stunned, and moved in the effort of the main character's mission more meaningful.

  • I have a challenge for Nintendo.

    In the next Mario game, Mario has dick cancer.

    Imagine the drama of Mario being unable to jack off despite the temptation of Princess Peach's front loaded anvils.

    It needs fleshing out, no pun intended, but we guarantee the entire world will be stunned, shocked, and moved at the efforts to make the Mario series more sexual.

    We love Mario, but it's about time the industry had a big shock for a change.

  • Lara Croft: Tumor Raider

  • @drewstergooster OH YOU

  • @drewstergooster Womb Raider would be better.

  • @drewstergooster ITS NOT A TUMORRRRRRRRRRRRR

  • @drewstergooster Womb Raider.

  • I have a challenge for Let's Players.

    In their next Let's Play, they a