Opie & Anthony: Ted the Roaster

[TheComedian150]

I love it jimmy plugs outta fucking nowhere. kills me everytime. LOL

[dsriggs]

Paul the Spit Roaster

[bodhisattva71]

"I certainly am,Anthony".

[JaCkMiChEaLs0n]

wow, this really was the origin of chip

"green with envy"

"or sumthin"

"tsss tsss"

its amazing what you find when you go back and relisten to some of this stuff

[CommendatoreAndolini]

Jimmy keeps talking about being molested while in character... it's disturbing.

[hehehe88]

@CommendatoreAndolini some dissociation?

[BestNameEvar]

glad I'm not the only one who heard the beginnings of chip here

was about to post that comparison thinking I was some genius who was the first to make the connection, only to scroll down and see 10 other retards saying the same thing =(

[joedoschMSU]

"HEY DANNY! I HEAR YOU'VE BEEN DRINKING A LOT! I HOPE YOU'RE DRIVING AND YOU'RE KILLED!"

Don't we all, Ted. Don't we all.

[UberMan5000]

"I HEARD YOU HAD SEX WITH YOUR FATHER!!!" *honka-honka-honka*

[287MRC]

this sounds like a ted/chip crossover

[CoolerKing37]

Chee Guevara!

[shrookins]

opie's bangs are so wispy. what is he alex mack or somethin?

[jadedmastermind]

My personal favorite has to be Ted the Boxer.

[nicknad11]

I think Ted ripped a lot of these jokes off Chip.

[BishopAP]

@nicknad11 Nah, Chip just writes for him. It's all on the up-and-up. Or sump'in.

[bostonredsox49]

I love how Yimmy can yell in a goofy way as Ted and then change his tone for Uncle Paul is a split second.

[Drratburn]

This is the best Ted bit since Ted the Ghost Hunter.

[hehehe88]

"Hey nice curly hair anthony, What do you fuck children or something?"

[buff15]

Jeffery Ross kills

[sonofasmitty]

ross totally gets it he is just tryin to feed him k8. If that makes sense

[Andros1921]

They need a hole to say UNCLE PAUL!!!!!!!!!!! at moments like this

[ToruKun1]

"E-ROCK'S NECK IS SO FAT, THAT WHEN HE HAS A STROKE, HE'LL BE DEAD BEFOR HELP GETS THERE!" XD

LOL, I love Ted!!!

[kdubya8]

I love that Jeff Ross doesn't get the joke. He is so out of his element when he is on the show.

[wierscjl]

obviously your an idiot

[kdenny84]

Jeff Ross stinks. Who cares that he was chummy with Milton Berle? The dude's been dead for how long and Ross is still riding his coat tails. Get some new stories.

[buff15]

fck u idiot

[kdenny84]

so....in your opinion, I'm an idiot because I believe someone should get new stories?

you are silly, sir

[piepermatthew]

I laughed so hard when I heard this that I got a massive headache. It was fucking great. Love Ted the roaster.

[6Adrian7]

battle ship LOL

[wedgeboy]

WHAT DO YOU FUCK CHILDREN?

[OboxerU]

"Where's the red there, Jeff?"

Damn, Ted is brutal. Just when you think you've heard it all...

[tmanxxxx]

haha ted is a horses ass

[wtfmanicanthaveaname]

i can just imagine how hard it would be for a brilliant comedian to so easily not be funny but kills at the same time lol. He always steals the show, it should be the Jim Norton show with opie and anthony.

[xma5terx]

Why was Jeff Ross being such a douchebag when Jimmy was killing?

[Pr0jectWeird1605]

jealous of real talent

[11825code6]

amen, he's a one trick jewpony

[drivepro]

beer is so good.

[ZqweBSname]

Any chance of getting a SHOUTcast station up with the recent reruns?

[bigtoe512]

Ted rules!!

[EricLynchSucks]

Comedy Central hates Jim Norton but does a bunch of shit for Jeff Foxworthy. Aside from southpark Comedy Central sucks!!!

[Pr0jectWeird1605]

I agree, and with the shit movies they pump out.

[11825code6]

AND HERE COMES THE JEFF DUNHAM SHOW.

Rather watch dog shit eating contests.

[nkslnkvl]

jeff dunham now has liam neeson soy sauce hair

[TokenWhiteGuyAGR]

Oh Uncle Paul.

[Lamtitude]

"Anthony, nice curly hair." "What'd ya fuck children?"

[deinse81]

Holy shit, I haven't laughed this hard at Ted since he made his first appearance as a lightbulb expert.

[jstow01]

No one cares.

[deinse81]

Remember when I asked you not to compare the innocent banter of us mere mortals to the thrill of you ass fucking your own cunt mother every night?

Why do you insist on still judging my posts' entertainment value by such high standards?

[jstow01]

No one cares.

[hunghunk2006]

still desperate for attention I can see TableForOne......wish you had a faster working terminal illness

[TxBoarHunter]

ANOTHER mom joke from a failure in in the U.K. However, it did make me laugh as I read it :)

If you are commenting to JSTOW, you have to understand you are talking to a 29 yr old guy who is liviving in his mom's basement and needs attention on the intenet cause he can't get it any where else. A "real life" Ted Sheckler

[deinse81]

Why would you call me a failure? I'm smaaart, I can do things...

Very hurtful, Sir.

[jstow01]

No one cares.

[TxBoarHunter]

Ahhhh I'm fuckin with you. I was just being a smartass cause we have butted heads in the past. Did not mean to ACTUALLY hurt ur feelings.

[szammi47]

88th view nigga!love ted.

[FireProFitz27]

Fucking. Hilarious.

[Pr0jectWeird1605]

That's a great picture of Ted :)

[WikedJuggal0]

LOL i LOVE the picture Yarsh

your photoshop skills made me cry

[StanRather]

fucking funny and enjoyable.

[xcalibur4ever]

1st view nigga! love ted.

[rqbuchanan]

Some advice:

1. Eat shit.

2. Die horribly.

[xcalibur4ever]

1st comment is one thing, but if i get 1st view i'm allowed to be excited. And why stop at die horribly, why not tell me to throw myself out a window or that you hope a bus crashes into me?

[rqbuchanan]

Considering your defense, I can't help but agree that I was too soft on you.

Please go chug some bleach and throw yourself out a tenth-story window. TIA

[xcalibur4ever]

Come on, tell me how you really feel.

[rqbuchanan]

All right, I won't restrain myself.

First, I'll immobilize you by beating you senseless with a baseball bat. To keep you pliant, I'll perform a lobotomy by drilling a couple of holes into your skull and dripping hydrochloric acid onto crucial areas of your brain. I don't know if this works, but it's as good a time as any to find out.

Surgery time! After opening your abdomen, I'll sever the end of the large intestine and cut a new hole in your stomach.

[rqbuchanan]

Then I'll sew your large intestine into the new hole and sew your anus shut.

After your surgery, it'll be time for dinner. I'll eat a tomato/onion/broccoli stew, and so will you, after I've defecated it. This will be the first of many meals over the course of a few days while I see how many times you can digest my shit, and then your own.

After I tire of this, I'll throw you off of an overpass into the path of a semi.

The written parlance and conduct of your comments are slightly irritating.

[xcalibur4ever]

slightly irritating? I'd say more than that for you to go into such a detailed torture regiment. I like your style, let's be friends.

[xcalibur4ever]

alright let'sd not be fags here for fuck's sake. jesus will you calm down.

[hunghunk2006]

(beings the slow clapping applause)

THIS was pure fucking gold...as usual from you buchanan

[TxBoarHunter]

LOL, that pretty much sums up ur feelings for that individual doesn't it? Alot of happy/great advice on this audio

[xcalibur4ever]

aw come on guys, i just want to be part of the team, there's no reason to use such harsh language.