Simpsons Religious Quotes

[corwinorr]

Homer: I bet the guy she was singing that about was real happy.

Marge: Well, actually, she was singing about God.

Homer: Oh, well, He's always happy. No, wait, He's always mad...

[camtonyray666]

"God, we paid for all this ourselves, so thanks for nothing." - Bart Simpson.

[DornAlien123]

in the world of religion is no place for FAKTS

and in the world of FAKTS is no place for religion

[gulbirk]

smoten, LOL.

[Rossco602]

God: Thou hast forsaken My Church! Homer: Uh, kind-of... b-but... God: But what! Homer: I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell? God: Hmm... You've got a point there.

[louizasan]

Bart:"What religion are you?"

Homer:"You know,the one with all the well-meaning rules that don't work out in real life...Christianity!"

[louizasan]

Homer:"Why do you mock me, oh Lord?"

Marge:"Homer!That's not God!That's just a waffle that Bart tossed up there!"

Homer:"I know I shouldn't eat thee,but...!" ;-)

[woodley91406]

@louizasan Mmmm.... sacrilicious.

[louizasan]

"-Well God, you made a very powerful enemy!"-Homer J Simpson

[Johnmcartney10]

Not Buddhist. Its Buddhism 

[PrivateJoker17]

@Johnmcartney10 No, it is buddhist if you are referring to a person's religion, if you are referring to the religion as a whole it is 'buddhism'. I'm Australian, the correct way of saying that isn't 'I'm Ausralia'. Idiot.

[advers1078]

@PrivateJoker17 haha you have educated and insulted at the same time, well done to you.

[Punisher2all]

I gotta say, the Ned Flanders' one made me laugh the most.

[camobeast100]

Carl: This whole thing is a scame anyway.

Lenny: This carnaval?

Carl: No relgion in general.

[alchemistxp2]

this damn song won't get out of my head! I've been humming it the entire day.

[rottingfucker]

"If the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to GIRLS sports, such as hot oil wrestling, foxy boxing, and such and such."- Homer Simpson

[mjj9090]

@rottingfucker I seen that ep! iz when Liza whant to play hockey... ;)

[c4h2u0k]

Homer - "what should we name our gang?"

Moe- "how bout the christ punchers"



[thazinwynn]

@bbphnix, it was the episode 'everybody hates ned flanders'

[bbphnix]

trick or treat...oral contract.... I saw that episode..... OMG it cracked it me up!!!!!

so I guess if people don't give children candy and they "trick" them and those people punish the children, the children can sue them?

[RustedPlatinum]

SAVE ME JEEBUS! - homer

[joker800005]

Carl: ah, its all a big scam

Lenny: what, this booth?

Carl: no, religion in general

[ScienceMusicLove]

"Our relationship is built on lies, but so are a lot of great things, like history, and religion." Homer to Marge

[ChaoticRayne]

They fricking go too fast! ..... When you are drunk, LMAO!!!!!

[rattlehead66666]

Someone may have already brought this up , But barts quote at 0.56 is ends with "Santa" not Jesus. Come to think of it , I may be confusing it with another one of barts phrases to do with xmas. Oh well.

[bbphnix]

@rattlehead66666 it's funnier with "Jesus Christ"; it's just plain true if you use Santa

[rattlehead66666]

@bbphnix

Ya , u do have a point there. lol

[thazinwynn]

Homer-"I hate my own creations, now i know what God feels like!"

[bbphnix]

@thazinwynn so cooooooooool, what episode is thaT?

[HashKeth]

It would be even awesome if you actually had the voices

[maxpower978]

NO!! rev lovejoy said this, "I remember another gentle visitor from the heavens, He came in peace and then died, only to come back to life, and his name was E.T the extra terrestial"

[overkillll]

Lisa 2: if god id so mighty, why does he care if we worship him?

Homer: Because he's an insecure god.

[yuishy2003]

"But Marge, what if we picked the wrong religion? Every week, we're just making God madder and madder!"

[CHAOSoriginal]

"God!, that's my favorite fictional character." -Homer

[Symos]

Can't remember the exact wording, but here's one rom the movementarians ep

"This sect is nothing but repetive chants and rituals to take away the money of fools. Let us say the Lord's prayer 50 tmes but first lets pass the collection plate."

[Sumkrazyguy55]

"Ned. Have you tried any of the other major religions? They're all pretty much the same." -Rev. Lovejoy

[pbrskater26]

ha ha ha man I died laughing with the ned quote

[RoronoaZoro222]

how about the one where the pastor says "Let me remind you of another person who came back from the dead and descended into heavens after curing people with magic. His name was E.T the extraterrestrial, i loved that little guy.

[plasticPlaystation]

Well, that ins't a quote on religion but it's still very funny.

[Phoboskomboa]

Good selection of quotes, but I recommend not using a mostly white background with a white font. I had to pause a couple parts because it was hard to read.

[QueeeeNoftheHonEBZ]

hmmm

[murenei]

Amen

[Yedsta]

prayer has no place in schools, just like facts have no place in organized religion....i will quote that many more times

[CelticAlphabet]

Theres another good one by a famout atheist..forgot who it was...you can google it if you want :

"Don't pray in my schools, and I won't think in your church"

[albus23]

@Yedsta i totally agree

[Mrarrypotter]

@Yedsta That is the best thing I have ever heard... may god praise your soul