Added: 2 years ago
From: MrsBettyBowers
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  • I have to say, jesus' mother had an excuse for the whole 'lazy cooking' thing. She was raped by Yahweh (the christian god.. yes, that's his name), and then didn't get any form of repayment, except her child got magic powers.

  • HEY BLANKET!

  • Mark 16:1-8 is inspirational and involves a cooking allusion! How fun! Mark 16:1 Now when the Sabbath was past, Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James, and Salome bought SPICES, that they might come and annoint Him. And, I love the moment when they recognize Christ has risen! Good stuff! Great way to blend humor and Bible study.

  • You're getting the hottest part of hell Betty...

  • @AlexPreachesTruth I take pleasure imagining people suffering in hell. Why? Because I'm a douche.

  • i want that apron!

  • omg im in love!

    

  • Lady Gaza! Dinner with all the crusifixens! Classic!

  • Why isnt this on tv?;<

  • Love the ad next to your vid, 'Bible Degrees online'. How long does it take to study what's in the bible? Just say 'Goddidit' and voila, time for final exam.

  • Love you Betty and your message. Happy Solstice/Days-Off/Holidays !!!

  • Brutally truthful.

  • Thank God for you Betty (whoopsy, no pun intended)... Now I have a sin free recipe for cookies to serve at the Church Christmas Party this year! I'll make them Jesus shaped...the body of Christ never tasted so good! (I'll be sure to undercook them, so the little jesuses stay white)

  • 4:34 Hey, Lady Gaza!!! I just couldn't stop laughing..

  • LOL "Balack" .... "LIAR!"

  • Horrifyingly Exquisite!!!

    

  • I died when she took out the whistle. LOOL

  • "Pork chop," brilliant subtlety!

  • "Lady Gaza" Oh lawds I laffed.

  • "hey blanket!". . . . hahahaha

  • make me sammich while youre in there!.... & gimme a beer! ;)

  • wow how did i not know about Mrs Betty Bowers for so long? i love this stuff! im going to watch them all! I WANT YOU IN MY LIFE MRS BETTY!

  • "All fundamentalists have persecution complexes. Might as well get a stiff meringue out of it". I need to find a way to use this in conversation.

  • 78 people only have one vajeene.

  • noelectricitystan is just North of Kabul, am I right? . . . Too drunk to get all the jokes . . . MUST WATCH AGAIN.

  • "Put down the meat cleavers, old testament fans...!" ROFPMPL!! (Rolling On Floor Pissing My Pants Laughing)

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  • "I don't have the energy to empathize with people who go with out. Too much guess work!" My life is complete.

  • No electricitystan- Brilliant

  • @699backstab Islam is actually about peace and fraternity. She is making fun of people like YOU. Not Muslims, or Jews, YOU. Congrats on a total moment of pure genius! You make me proud to be an American! Oh wait, no you don't.

  • LOL americans blew up their own towers. How smart is that kid LOL

  • @altoexe Yes that dude's comment was retarded but you said "Islam is actually about peace and fraternity". Are you kidding me? Yes maybe for some people it is but like Christians they pick and choose in their scriptures.

    The Koran says, "Believers, make war on the infidels who dwell around you. Deal firmly with them." (Surah 9:121-)

    Peace and fraternity my ass.

  • @TheManfromMars100 i think u talk about religion on a computer durh durh durh i dont agree with u though im not muslim

  • @altoexe Not making fun of muslims? Are you insane? Oh wait, you believe flying planes into buildings, murdering women for driving cars (or even just showing their hair through a bed sheet), and sending children into minefields in the name of a spooky old man in the sky equates peace and fraternity. Yep you're completely off the rails with sanity. My bad.

  • @kitteesPJs I'm sorry, but those kind of muslims are only a VERY small part of all the muslims. It's like under 10% I think, I might be wrong.

  • @martinikene Actually my statement applies to the foundational tenet of the Quran itself, that being, 'kill all infidels.' Theologians note that 60% of the vile book proclaims that message. 'Moderate' muslims (as with all religionists) just cherry-pick the bits they like. 'True' muslims are, indeed, flying planes into the odd building and beheading people all over the place. Even the 'moderates' I run into daily force (brainwash) women into hiding under veils lest they burn in Hell. Insane.

  • @kitteesPJs Not only muslims, christians aswell. I'm quite sure Christianity has killed more people then Islam. I'm not even sure why I am defending one religion, when I think all of them are bad.

  • @martinikene

    lol

    'my religion has killed more people than yours has'

    'no mine has'

    'no mine'

  • @altoexe Well, actually, she's making fun of ignorant Christians, portraying THEIR mistreatment of -- well -- anybody who isn't Christian. As a former Christian, I found it DAMNED FUNNY!!!!!

  • @altoexe islam is about peace ? lol lol lol what a moron you are

  • @altoexe

    Islam literally means "submission". The Quran details how loot should be divided among the conquering party and the rules of engagement in war. Muhammad himself engaged in 27 military battles. You're right that it's more about fraternity than solidarity, since Surah 4:34 allows for domestic violence (no sorority). Jesus said "do not resist evil... turn the other cheek" and practiced those concepts (healing the soldier that took him to his execution). All religions are false.

  • @altoexe

    Islam literally means "submission". The Quran details how loot should be divided among the conquering party and the rules of engagement in war. Muhammad himself engaged in 27 military battles. You're right that it's more about fraternity than solidarity, since Surah 4:34 allows for domestic violence (no sorority). Jesus said "do not resist evil... turn the other cheek" and practiced those concepts (healing the soldier that took him to his execution). All religions are false.

  • @altoexe islam isnt about peace

  • @699backstab I have no idea what the fuck you're saying. LOL

  • Lol

  • LOVE YOU! you are the best bitch ever!!!! :D

  • Noelectricitystan. That is a hoot!

  • "cathoholics." so true.

  • Delicious recipe.

  • hmm i wonder what this actors religion is? not that it matters....but its an interesting thought

  • lmao i love when lady gaza says 'black'

  • LMAO

  • GOD please make more, that was absolutely hilarious =)

  • Offensive, inappropriate, absolutely dreadful. 5 God damn stars.

  • Love your outfit!

    "Hey peephole!" I about died.

  • Love your outfit!

    

  • lady gaza lol, so offensive yet so funny

  • OMG!!! AMAZING! BRILLIANT!!!!!

  • I laught so hard at this. "With all the crucifixin's"

  • Bedspread.

  • @nica1018 "ANYONE who watchs this is five IQ points DUMBER, "

    Oh well, that’s me done then, I’ve seen it 3 times and laughing my bollocks off still...... will the IQ deficiency count on all of Betty’s video..... need to know before I am a complete cabbage by the weekend!

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  • @nica1018 Jeese, reading your comment made me 50 points dumber.

  • @nica1018 - not agree wit ya..since she threw so much smart-mouth punch lines, you might even can't grasp.

  • @nica1018 You mean we'll start ending sentences with commas? Yeah, I don't know if I want to be that guy.

  • This vid is hilarious! She should make a video on why people should argue on the internet (see below). :)

  • HAIL SATAN!!

  • @Dragon5871 hallelujah!

  • @Dragon5871 fuck Stalin! worse then Hitler!

  • I am sorry this is so offencive. I am a cbhristian babtist yeah i dont believe in all the stuff my stupid judgeing hypocryt teachers taught me in church. but this is offencive if you mock Christ you will go to hell aqnd you will be punished for your behavoir i hope you remember this video. you whore.

  • @NaomiGower lol, christ was a loser.

  • @dejawolf ? you are calling the god that created you a loser! fine then! God is dissapointed iin you un godly horrible people! I am ashamed at this human race! looks like dejawolf, when you die i wont go to the place you are going. Have fun burning forever in hell.

  • @NaomiGower i'm sorry, are you god? no? in that case, why don't you stop pretending you are? you're ashamed on behalf of the human race? wow.. pretentious aren't you.

  • @dejawolf I am not pretending i am god! i am not blasphamous! i am saying o am ashamed of my race! the human race! so i am ashamed of my self and every human. you idiot. dont talk to me anymore. burn in hell forever.

  • @NaomiGower yes you're pretending to be god. you talk as if you are god. as if you know what god thinks and wants, like every other christian. what gives you the right to be ashamed on behalf of humankind? are you the president of humanity?

    mind your own damn business. you're a self-righteous, holier-than-thou hypocritical bitch. you say i'll burn in hell for making you angry? you suffer from 2 deadly sins. wrath and pride. didn't jesus say love your enemy?

  • @dejawolf ? I take it you believe in God to say these things. I dont thik i am better than anyone we are all equal. if you do believe in god then I will drop this subject. and call me a bitch one more time and I will find you. nah nah thats just crazy talk heheheheheheh

  • @NaomiGower i'm a former christian. i stopped believing 7 years ago. but i realize now that i was more of a deist, didn't even believe jesus was the son of god, only a guy who had a few good sayings, and was generally nice to people.

  • @NaomiGower You should be ashamed of the human race. It is a fallacy of religion that humans are the highest creation of God and should be granted the Earth and exploit it to its fullest. If humans are so powerful, then how come so many women die in childbirth every minute? Why must we artificially modify our bodies simply to stay alive? We are as weak an organism as any--civilization makes no difference.

  • @NaomiGower If you're going to try to argue a point, don't you think it more effective if you at least proofread your text? And I thought you religious folks were supposed to be in school ever Sunday. Looks like they forgot the basics, like spelling and grammar. You might fare better in this world if you spend less time "praising god" and more time practicing communication skills. Just sayin!

  • HAHAHA YOU ARE THE BEST!!

  • Why don't you dumb liberals mock muslims, instead of Christians?  Oh that's right, you respect all cultures but your own.

  • @RageAgainstNWO how bout you scoot off somewhere else you self-righteous hypocrite

  • @RageAgainstNWO Uhhh. Did you watch the video? She made fun of Muslims throughout this video. You tard'.

  • Lady Gaza...priceless!!!

  • BETTY, YOU ARE HILARIOUS xDD

  • @ilikepepsi33 ok here is the thing, its well known that priests rape children, its on the news and recorded in history. christianity has and always will be a load of crap, the bible has been changed billions of times and ur obvo in denial. christianity is a fearful,hateful and ignorant cult that tries to brainwash and control anyone dumb enough to listen. it sez in bible "ye shall eat the flesh of ur sons, and daughters", and i know cuz ive just watched this awsome vid. church=EVIL HIPPOCRATES

  • If you don't understand the Urim and Thummim you will never understand the will of God.

    Exodus 28:30

    Also put the Urim and the Thummim in the breastpiece, so they may be over Aaron's heart whenever he enters the presence of the LORD. Thus Aaron will always bear the means of making decisions for the Israelites over his heart before the LORD.

  • Classic Draper, Utah mom! LOL!!!!!!!!!

  • OMG! This is sooo goood! Betty Bowers is the best!

  • This is dumb, there was no actual cooking. Waste of time.

  • Sweet, an alternative to serving gays their fruity rainbow cupcakes. I'd hate for my daughters in the family kitchen think it's OK to serve gays, and by extension think gays are OK people - BECAUSE THEY ARE ABOMINATIONS IN THE EYES OF GOD!

  • @ctube001 There is no GOD you cunt licking overpopulating-the-world warmongering Jesus Freak...LOL

  • mmmmmmmmmm......brutaly honest! Love it

  • She really is hilarious... I hope God has a sense of humor, for her sake.

  • Not only can she point out the stupidity of religion, but she can make me laugh my ass off while doing it. I love this woman! xD

  • If I convert can I do her?...she's hot....but then again I want to do Flo from the Progressive commercials......

  • @kbear09090 amen, Flo is hot

  • lol, good one

  • Fantastic!!!

  • hahaha fuck me this shit is HILARIOUS!!

  • Cooking Christ Bitches!

  • "...or I'll have you back in no-electricity-stan before sunset." Priceless!!

  • wow .... brilliant !!

  • lol

  • She's my God.

  • Hey blanket! Start that crazy yodelling thing you people do when you take to the streets and destroy things!

    BLBLBLB. BLBLBLBLB. BLBLBLBLBLBLB!

  • I smell catshit as a hobby

  • "HEY, PEEPHOLE!"

    hahaha i can't breathe!

  • @Dro8900 Hey Lady Gaza! LOL

  • Mmmmmm... Sacrelicious...

  • @Nihm420Just for the record, wikipedia isn't always too accurate. You might be correct, but I will still doubt that until you find it somewhere else.

  • @ilikepepsi33

    they do have footnotes referencing where they got the info...

  • @ilikepepsi33

    ...and as an afterthought, look at this---> /watch?v=9jHqndf9Kx4

    Just a little window for you about the horrors this church has unleashed on children for decades...

  • @ilikepepsi33

    I can only assume you watched the video that I referenced...

    It has 1 effect on the people who refuse to admit the possibility that the clergy has been raping children for decades (at least)...

    It shuts them the fuck up.

  • All Christians have a guilty complex - might as well get a stiff meringue out of it....HOW FUNNY!

  • @Nihm420 what?! they haven't raped thousands of little kids! If they have tell me at least 7 true instances of those 1,000, it should be easy for you. Whereas in life today, people everywhere are raping others, and yet barely anyone notices. My point is, is that there have been so many other rapes, and yet only the Catholic Church is targeted.

  • @ilikepepsi33 Are you really that stupid?

    You see, when someone rapes someone else, the guilty parties are sent to prison ( or worse). When someone tries to cover up evidence on behalf of a rapist, they go to prison too.

    Catholic priests have raped children, and their chruch has officially attempted to cover up their crimes by shuffling pedophile priests from parish to parish while threatening victims with excommunication if the come forward.

    Do you understand now, or do you need pictures?

  • Furthermore, this is same church that has the gall to lecture humanity about marriage, birth control, sexuality, and other matters of "morality" (and its bigoted, sexist, Medieval "morality" at that) while their priests are raping our children.

  • @ilikepepsi33

    A little time on Wikipedia would do you good.... google "Catholic sex abuse cases"...

    In America alone there were 4,392 priests accused. 1,872 priests were found guilty, 824 priests were unsubstantiated... and the remainder were not investigated because the priests had already died.

    That is just in the US - (waaaaaay worse in Ireland) soooo yeah... I totally stand by the phrase "thousands of plundered little boy buttholes"...:P

  • Lady Gaza lol.

  • Hey, LADY GAZA! hahahahaha! WOW!

  • hahahahahaha

  • she is a dead ringer for my sociopath christian babysitter in the 70's.

  • b!ch

  • @ilikepepsi33

    "why are you so harsh against the Catholic church?"

    W o W...!

    Why be hard on an institution that has become equated to thousands of plundered little boy buttholes...?

    YOU are the jerk.

  • I loled so hard. I love it!

  • this is pretty incredibly good

  • okay this lady is a genius... at first I was thinking WTF?!? then I clicked on it and I realized this is some of the BEST satire I've seen in a long time! You Go Girl!

  • @mochawitch I agree she is somewhere between Elvira and Pat Condell.

  • "Lady gaza" xD

  • "With all the crucifixin's." XD

  • amazing. and u r very beautiful woman.

  • Crucifixins LMAO

  • Where did you come from, Betty?! You're a breath of fresh air in ditto-head land!

  • Thank God she's insulting the hate that is religion.

  • lmao, lady gaza

  • ha ha ha lazy mother!

  • I love how Youtube brings out the atheists, for the first time, we have a forum where we aren't surrounded by Xians shouting "you're going to hell-Unbeliever". They wrote the book, now let them drown in it's illogical stories.

  • GO LANDOVER BAPTIST CHURCH! XD

  • i'd love one of em aprons!

  • You're sexy. You really turn me on.

  • I liked the comparison of children to fruit.

  • Hah! I just saw her, "As God is my Waitress" apron with Jesus in drag. Where can I get one of those?

  • @AHPMB They seem to be on her website if you check her channel.

  • remember whenever you cook in your kitchen you remind jesus you love him more then his mom who was so lazy she sent him to a resturaunt for his last meal :D

    genius you are amazing xD

  • If you can't laugh at religion or have your own opinion about it, that makes you close minded. We already have enough close minded people in dictatorships!

  • I'm disappointed, I clicked on it expecting a cooking show and got sh*t. At least she could have babbled naked.

  • Betty, you are the sanest explainer of the Judeo/Christian/Muslim world. It is incredible that almost all believers in the Christian religion in the US do not know that all three of these religions are sects from the same religion rooted in the God of Abraham.

  • Dude this is hilarious

  • OMG she is so good at this. Thanks LMAO

    "Hey Lady Gaza" Stop you're killing me.

  • God loves us so much he killed himself.

  • @OMGIHAVEAIDS god didnt kill himself

  • @Mushuboo Technically God is formed of the holy trinity; considering the fact that Jesus is God's son, but part of the trinity...God is his own son: Jesus. Yes, confusing I know, but welcome to the world of religion & please ignore any paradoxes you see. As I was saying, if God = Jesus and he had Jesus die for us...then, technically, it can be said "God loves us so much he killed himself." :P

    Before you try to argue with me, try using the almighty Google first; it'll save us both time.

  • @OMGIHAVEAIDS Yeah, you're absolutely right. The apparent paradox of three entities being one is because God can go against the laws of science we know and love because He created them. That's what makes Him impossible to prove with science.

  • @OMGIHAVEAIDS

    LOL !

  • she is brilliant...

  • These Betty videos are brilliant. Thanks so much.

  • Genius!

  • "Tetchy Muslims get angry when told their faith is rubbish. Truly, the unsaved can be so discourteous!" ROFLMAO

  • omg shes so deviously eccentric and clever...I LOVE HER!!! WHAT A WEIRDO HAHA

    LOVE BETTY BOWERS WOOO

  • hilarious .

  • hilarious .

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  • One way it could be proven (to me ) that there is a God : is to find out this MILF has been in a porn movie and tell me the title .I'm in love with Betty ! I think she would say a lot of weird stuff while in the sac though!

  • Welcome~

  • More, more!

  • Is this some kind of joke?

  • Shout GLORY!

  • Great video, but Betty? A black sweater? My-my... the good Lord would not approve of such an evil color.