Twilight (Funny Movie Review)

[Werronnn]

bring vibrating egg ??? LMFAO :DDDDDDDDDDDD

[xouttahellx]

twilight?? u gotta be kidding me, its -15 movie

[SNAKEEYESSAM]

who is the woman in bed reveiwing the movie?

i have to subscribe to her if she has a channel.lol.

when did you officially start to rate the movies on the schmoes scale?

[SMeyerDestroysLife]

i hated both the twilight books and all the twilight movies

[basher5time]

If it weren't for annoying fangirls, people wouldn't bash

HSM

Twilight

Justin Bieber

etc.

For the record, I only enjoy the twilight series.

[angelemon94]

2:57 he looks like he's about to throw up which was about my reaction to pretty much everything the girl in the bed was saying

[TCVB91]

Its good to know reviews like this reinforce the stereotype that gays and woman CONtinue to fall for shallow bullshit like Twilight. Would love to see these two give a review of Killers with the hammer bashing my skull.

[schmoesknow]

@TCVB91 We have reviewed Killers, just type in schmoes know killers

[Artmarqy]

"This time i am going to get a egg vribator that i put in my pants so i can get the full expierence"........xD

[Akuma2unlimited]

lol i love watching this review everyday

[reallivebarbiedoll]

The series is a pile of horse crap. In my opinion it doesn't make any sense. I would run away if I knew a killing vampire was inside of my bedroom stalking me all the time. Come on Bella, grow a brain already!

[fullenangelcindy12]

i liked it 

[artrock1970]

You guys are so right about girls squeeling! I took my daughter and guess what? Girls screaming and squeeling and clapping. It was hilarious! Edward looked so constipated looking and the girls didn't care.

[TheReginoGuillen]

it is a blasphemous big piece of budget movie turned lazy phenomenon pig shit with a little bits of corn in it symbolizing the overdramic bullshit you have to sit through in order to get where your anticipating, the fuck out of there!!!!!!!

[TheSquidni]

IT WAS HORRIBLE! The acting was HORRIBLE! I couldn't take this movie seriously! And I LOVE THE BOOKS! I hate these movies so much, you don't even know.

[Pooky1991]

HAHAHAHA! Now I'm tempted to see this for comic value.

[Tonyahfi720]

New Moon is entertaining ! Watch @ twilight-now/./com

[Th3King86]

She's going to watch the film agian while using a vibrator hahahahaha! That is just sad.

[GABYINCUBUSMcCARTNEY]

Hahahahah what's wrong with the girl giving the review...wet....really? I hope you're kidding...

This movie sucks!!!!!

[Saxaphone19]

@whtsthadealio1 i agree with u ima teenage girl and most of my friends love this movie and new moon... i hate it with a passion..

[whtsthadealio1]

im a teenage girl and i dont go bananas over this stupid movie,...i h8 it

[guido6872]

twilight = high school musical with out the music...horible

[RVC852]

Like watching homeless people act....that's gold.lol

[NintenBC]

"what lvl are you?"

"80"

"how long have you been 80?"

"like 4 days"

"n00b"

Man I gota make my own movie outa this shit !

[NintenBC]

"your skin is pale white and ice cold"

"I know what you are"

"say it, out loud"

"lvl 80 paladin"

"yeah"

XD

[JakenJragin]

@NintenBC

......Epic! XD

[6sixpounder6]

am i the only one who thinks it's creepy as shit that he just stands there watching her sleep? try doing that in real life and not going to jail.

[ajbabe101]

i love twilight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Darkangel563]

I'm a teenage girl... and I'm not a big fan of Twilight... actually I'm not a fan at all. I was already sick of it before I even watched the movie. I can't leave the house without seeing or hearing some kind of reference to Twilight. Edward Cullen's godamn face is plastered everywhere. It's disturbing.

The movie was... meh. It was kind of boring. Dialogue and acting was nothing special. No plot. Nothing hot about the sparkly pseudo-vampire guys, either.

I wouldn't recommend seeing it.

[KotaHollywood]

gotta say, i LOVE twilight, but this was freaking hilarious hahahaha. touche!

[DanceClassHeroine]

The only thing good that's vampire related is 'Interview With A Vampire'

Now that's some serious vampire stuff...I'll tell you that now

"-)

[Ktown413]

THAT WAS FAR FROM THE TRUTH! He turned into a GLITTERING VAMPIRE FERRY!!!!! I MEAN WTF! This movie was a waste of money and a waste of time unless your a 13 year old screaming virgin you're going to hate this fking movie

[Ktown413]

Oh good the movie started, now these little bastards will shut up and watch the movie. Edward arrives, Screams to the left of me screams to the right of me Holy fking shit now im deaf. FINALLY! The Here comes the part where he reveals what happens when he gets hit with sunlight now I don't know about you BUT I was expecting him to burst into flames or turn into some hideous monster.

[Ktown413]

This whole movie is a joke for real vampire fans everywhere! When I first went to go see the movie I honestly didn't know what to expect. All I knew about it was it was a VAMPIRE MOVIE!!!! well shit im down for that so my wife and my best friend went with me. When we got in the theater there were literally 125 ANNOYING teenage girls. The first 5 minutes sitting down I want to fking kill myself.

[Pistolero24]

Trash book = trash movie. Vampires litterature and cinema destroyed !

[eartianwerewolf]

I didn't like the take on Edward Xp. Yeah it was cheesy the way he was like I can do thiiiiisssssss! and then did. that scene was corny XDDDDDDD I laughed during the whole thing.

[neveremailme]

Really? American girls love pale-white-ice-cold guys? I watched this movie, really, its NOT worth a watch

[awsomeman75]

hahahaha he said it smelled like wet pussy hahaahahh you lucky dog you

[MyraLaRyn]

The entire concept for the books is crap, How they stretched it out to the length of a jacket cover let alone 4 FRAKKING BOOKS I have no idea. Script, Direction, Kristen Stewart all Frakking awful. And that's an understatement Robert P: Okay considering the terrible script he had to deal with (And I don't say that b/c he looks nice, because frankly he doesn't) Effects: Meh. This entire franchise is an insult to good literature and cinema. So join me in boycotting the whole thing. Please.

[littobluebabe]

"the whole theater smells like wet pussy" lmfao!

[jestegloria]

Dang. Must've been awkward as hell going up to the counter and buying 2 tickets for u and ur buddy.

[jthedude]

Great review! She's sooo funny!

[jdfox1]

Ha Ha....Good video! Thanks!

[riiiiaa]

i love twilight

BUT u guys u are amazing this video was so funny :D

[DramaticEngine]

Danielle.............. can I have your number?

[jhol7689]

lmao thats true it could be a modeling movie lol

[BuckeyeSara1982]

Okay, I love Twilight but dude, honestly, this is one of the funniest things I have ever seen. I had tears in my eyes from laughing so hard.

[JHUDdivafan1]

Ok, i agree that the movie was ok. Sure the vampires were kinda hot and the special effects were cool, but 2 me....that was it. My cousin on the other hand was like the lady in this review, straight out SPRUNG <3 lol

[0FarBeyondDriven0]

any vampire movie thats rated pg13 is pretty much gay, vampire flicks are notorious for gore and guts all over the place...i didnt even need to see the movie to know it was gonna suck.....

[Danjiruto]

lol high school musical where they kill each other without the music rofl so F ing funny

[croft28]

LMFAO LMFAO.

[ValeriesGal]

I'm not gay, but the older chick is hot.

[ValeriesGal]

I loved, loved, LOVED this review.

[JoostShino]

This movie looked so bad xD but this review made us go see it just for fun. We honestly laughed in the cinema that only had girls in it (except for the 2 token guys in the back). We honestly didnt think the main character was "hot" either... The look on his face was just hilarious throughout the movie and the girl looked like she was being fingered 24/7 :S Anyway, we had good fun hehe.

[schmoesknow]

Joost- glad you guys are such fans! It is an honor that you take us serious. Thank you kindly.

Humbly, your idiots,

THE SCHMOES

[caliigurl925]

he's 108 not 300.

[CamillaGodtmark]

haha :D

[nobiz]

The guy tht played Edward is ugly as fuck in real life, and he look like a gayer zac efron with super powers. the movie kinda sucked they just sat around staring at each other, the movie was just a big staring contest. Honestly i read all the books, and only liked the second book. Jacob is awesome, Edward is a fag! That movie should just go on VHS because its semi shit

[eoipa]

Fucking hilarious

[AstridVonAij]

This review makes me happy in my happy places.  Now come and be my bunnies.

xo- Astrid

[LisaNova]

"If Judy Blume had written Blade" !!!! This is the best movie review I have ever seen.

Lisa

[arjel21]

OMg Twilight Can Suck Dry balls, THen it can suck my balls, CUz this MOVIE WAS SHIT i didnt watch it, but considering how many times i got SACKED by my friends yea ITS SHITT

[schmoesknow]

suckin dry balls! Ha- good play my friend.

[ooGuteLaunedrops]

hey guys thats funny i wanted to ask u if you could make a review for twilight but you were faster haha.

please be so nice a nd check out the video from my sister shes a biiiig twilight fan ;)

i'll send you the video =)

[darkwaterknightress]

lol you guys are funny.

But nooo

I am a teenage girl and thought it was absolutely pointless and boring haha (honestly counted the number of yawns: 5 per minute). And the special effects sucked. You could tell right away that they were being pulled by ropes (as if their force came from their armpits and not their feet)at that one fighting scene.

But most importantly: boring, boring, boring...

[weirdone156]

my friend saw this 6 times. Its so overrated. OMG OMG EDWARD CULLEN AHHHHHH!!! yah very overrated

[jthedude]

I love how you make fun of this!

OTH with vampires? That's just hilarious!

[samuraikills]

homeless people acting lololo

[littlerich]

I am left thinking that I won't see this film cause it's a variation of a chick flick, and the girl in bed wants to plug in her vibrator during the film to masturbate in her seat... that's just great, first the cellphones ring, then the vibrators go off, then we listen to heavy breathing... If I want that, I'll just download porn. And there's just too many psychotic teen stories going around today, anyway....

[jadeeexoxo]

it's like porn for girls... lol

[jOHNNybOyy52]

ur reviews rock man this movie was to long

[JoostShino]

My gf loved this review (so did i)... but yea we already didnt wanna see it :P now we are sure about it....

[FiltheeSepsis]

"Oh my god,I'm wet!"lmao...

[bobbendick]

Hooray!!

All is well in the neighborhood when Schmoes cut their reviews!!

Great to see Miles and Danielle playing too!!

[schmoesknow]

Glad you enjoyed Mr.Bendick, check out our Bolt review tomorrow- Miles will be back on the prowl!

[laarnay]

"the whole theatre juts smells like wet pussy" lmfaooooo

[ashantilongislant]

"you brought a snack"

hahahaha,hehehehe!

hey, you guys are awsome. im glad i subscribes

thanks for all your funny reviews

[schmoesknow]

We are glad you subscribe! More reviews this week- a heavy volume of Schmoes reviews in store over next few weeks

[HalooftheMuse]

Excellent review as usual...like your laid back style and light-hearted demeanor! The film will be a generational Event...

[schmoesknow]

Thank you sir, a compliment from a great talent like yourself.

If you are reading this- check out Haloof's channel- he does amazing characters

[sachaput]

I know I have no desire to see this film, but I can appreciate that the film-makers knew their audience and went for it. I'm sure the other books in the series (I think there are four total) will also be filmed pretty quickly.

[JustMyself6969]

LOL awesome review I myself still say they are the gayest vampires ever.

[SIXroundREVOLVER]

"the whole theater smells like wet pussy" lol sound like the only good thing about it

i love watchin these vids

[lambocon09]

great review, when next one?

[schmoesknow]

Hey lambocon, the new reviews will be out next week, little bit of a hiatus due to the holidays but we should have about 2-3 next week for you.

Thanks for watching.

THE SCHMOES

[schmoesknow]

New one should be up tomorrow and then 2 more by end of week

[huntre58]

Um..."Crouching Teenager, Hidden Vampire"?

[schmoesknow]

Ha! Good call Huntre

[Cliffycliffz]

alright, I'm not watching it

[FlavorGodz]

I hate twilight. My wife went and saw it at the midnight showing, bought a t shirt to go see it, and the soundtrack. SOOOOO GAY.

[WolfDiamond123]

great review keep em coming

[necrid86]

wow!

[jayp777]

Hilarious!

[Cayleece]

LOL!

[nffn555]

cool

[eric3141k]

joker mole

[anthonyblue0]

great review i cant stop laughing this moviereview is the funniest yet my opinon

[ChromeCelica00]

Nice reviews...didn't see the movie, nor have I read the book(s) but seems somewhat interesting haha

[mackend17]

the whole theater smelt like wet pussy

lol, thats just awesome

[kpbproductions]

Funny!

[samuraikills]

Lol nice onw

[hollyhollyrose]

LMBO! You guys are so twisted! I love chick flicks but I know that watching that would be a waste of my time.

[BowlerHat]

Fellas (and Sexy Vibrating Egg Woman)-

This was SO fun, SO chock full of quote-ables ("like watching homeless act" leveled me), and SO biting. You are sincerely filling a void for me, speaking as a goon who used to thoroughly enjoy "At The Movies" with Ebert and Roeper (and the early days of the great Gene Siskel, of course). Not to mention, I've been SO curious about "Twilight" being a vampire freak. Please keep up the fine work!

Your buddy,

- Max

[PJokerman50]

I'm not seeing this. I'll find myself rather gay if I do. NO OFFENSE- You guys are kool and all, but I SO not seein' this flick. All the girls in my class are like getting high off of this movie, book, and there was actually a figgin' VAMPIRE PROM here in town for Twilight...W-T-F?!?!?

It's also turning preppy kids into wannabe goths. You don't have to watch South Park to see that...

Nice review!

-P.J.

[SeanFilms]

I'm surprised that the girl, having read the book, actually enjoyed the movie:D

I would say that the movie was ok... but just ok.

A lot of the characters weren't cast right and Stephanie Meyer should have just changed one thing about the book and movie:

How Vampires glisten in the Sunlight!

WTF?!

That is basically kicking the whole Vampire Mythos in the balls!

They were already indestructible without any way to die, but sunlight is meant to be their major weakness!

Great Review:)

-Sean

[Lygofast2121]

lol good shit

[gaswebseries]

How could you guys miss the funniest, most laughable moment of the film.... oh... SPOILER ALERT for those who haven't seen it...

But seriously... Vampires sparkle in the sunlight????!!!!??? What the hell!

And I think this is the only film where I've ever heard the person next to me MOAN outloud when Edward Cullen went to kiss Bella.

I hate myself for knowing their names.

Zac (too lazy to logout and post from my real account)

[lindz111]

i did not like the movie it was corney bad acting and corney music also its mostly a movie for young girl 12 to 14 but nice vid guys

[Aaronwurmple]

Haha, that was the funniest movie review I've ever seen!

[rey1164]

LOL its a movie about kids being silly with nothing to do but being vampires...LOL nice review u guise are awsome!

[MetBul]

this movie was crap. i can't believe anyone liked it. worst movie since battlefield earth... i hoped id seen the last of that guy when he died in harry potter...

[chrisweeks101]

LMAO I GOT CHILLS

[cyniraholt]

Oh man..this was Great..love every second..man..it's like you all take us there..whew..and the little sound effect..as you go back and forth..giving oppinions..WOW! I GOT CHILLS..I GOT CHILLS..lol..Man..this was one of your Greatest reviews Yet..It just gets better..I got to see this Movie..All of your oppinions were like..sooooo INTENSE..to say the least..lololol! if I had 10 thumbs they would all be up! Another Great Review! blessed b!

[Urnkneekovaks]

" It wasn't that bad. I didn't hate it ", and " It was okay " are not exactly the type of comments that will have me rushing out the door to see this flick.