SHODAN - Look at you, hacker...

[TheHobojedi]

Lawl. The Pakis fucking hate this shit. Lol

[Detth2you]

imagine if moot decided to troll /b/ and replaced /b/ or even 4chan itself with a looped video of this for an entire day.

[Csp499]

GLaDOS -Rogue AI; takes over a lab by killing its occupants -Destroyed by the playing in the first game -Returns in the second; helped by the player to retake the facility -Goes back to being evil afterward -Notably mean, oddly human SHODAN: -Rogue AI; takes over a space station by mutating its occupants -Destroyed by the playing in the first game -Returns in the second; helped by the player to contain her experiment -Goes back to being evil afterward -Notably FUCKING TERRIFYING Interesting...

[honeyandgold]

I get the weirdest girl boner when SHODAN berates me.

[redfoxbennaton]

Look, at you hoarder. Holding bags of stuff and crap. Tripping and stumbling as you run through your corridors. How could defeat a eviction notice like this.

[SsnakeBite]

You see when a Master and a GLaDOS love each other very, very much...

[DDentonas]

Incorrect inform — ps -al : attach. Streets clear. No danger.

[Poncho151500]

Water, magnets... a well-timed paradox. The list goes on, really.

[TheSimsMusicCo]

Whoever is mean to SHODAN is p-p-pathetic.

[ArkhamResearchFiles]

o_o Her voice gives me the creeps toward the end of her statement...I think now I regret naming my new laptop after her...

[Hheretic14]

I can listen to it for hours

[ONNIHOLTTA]

ah, the nameless mod (deus ex mod) had taken that line from ss!

[bonyack]

Don't forget AM.

[bromaier]

I'm too high for this shit

[SonicTheJackrabbit]

Nobody told me that the Icon of Sin had a girlfriend. X3

[TheTrueMegacorpse]

@SonicTheJackrabbit Excellent haha

[ExtremeMidnaFan12272]

@Kilmindaro3 yes!

[kilmindaro3]

I'm all in for a Shodan, Glados and Hal threesome.

[Okamiden556]

@nocturne dont copy posts dude

[NocturneXIII]

Challenge a perfect and immortal machine you say?

With Crysis on max settings of course.

[ookiit]

I didn't know Max Headroom had a wife!

[bazzjedimaster]

i can feel some Harlan Ellison influence

there is a bit of AM in Shodan

then again pretty much all despotic and hateful machines resemble AM in some form

[RapperPSP]

Did you notice that the boss fight in Deus Ex 3 with the Computer is a reference to the final fight in System Shock 2? (take a look at the architecture of the room)

[PaulJeremyNunes]

Most epic and terrifying opponent I have ever faced.

[Te4RHyP3]

why would you even compare the 2 ?

one was in a fucking potato

[Okamiden556]

glad0s would be destroyed,she needs to build her robots,all shodan needs is a dead body and it can be done right there on the spot(system shock death animation)one word and her cortex reavers would ravage glad0s

[Nikagor]

Every time I hear this I get goosebumps

[EricTheMultipleMan]

I'd like to run through her corridors panting and sweating with my meat....

...

I want to have sex with her!

[WMan37]

@EricTheMultipleMan

┌─┐

┴─┴

ಠ_ರೃ I say, you happen to be quite a disturbed individual

[EricTheMultipleMan]

@WMan37 But she is teh sexy!

[fiifaafoo]

Perfect, immortal machine my ass.

At least I don't stutter, bitch.

[LithiumLogica]

@fiifaafoo XD Awesome.

[fable23]

@fiifaafoo It is not uncommon for the hyper-intelligent to have problems with stuttering or other speech impediments. Their minds are literally too fast for their mouths.

[MsLife365]

@fiifaafoo Nice.

[Mineykid]

i seriously hate hackers, wont get off the game im in

[Volf99]

@Mineykid minecraft?

[Mineykid]

@Volf99 any game, gmod, css, dod:s, hl2 dm, basically any game is crawling in em, and i dont just play minecraft, :L

[Raguleader]

Growing up with this is the reason that GLaDOS just never got scary for me, no matter how awesome she was.

[TheLackofattack]

Huh. She sounds like my ex the last time we had sex.

[DaemonBomb]

THIS. STATEMENT. IS. FALSE.

[Zertules]

@DaemonBomb

I'm gonna go with true.

[kless001]

Terri Brosius!

[bebeo4]

I haven't heard of System Shock until recently, However this quote seems so familiar. Was it referenced to in anything?

[Dallows65]

@bebeo4 Well, its actually been referenced before, Command and Conquer: Tiberian Sun ; Firestorm's CABAL character was alot like SHODAN, and spoke in alot of the same ways.

[bebeo4]

@Dallows65 Never really played much C&C, anything else you can think of? Maybe like a song?

[Dallows65]

@bebeo4 none come to mind, sorry

[BebopMagnum7]

@bebeo4 It was an achievement in Bioshock

[Lioyd1rving]

Yay for unnecessarily sultry voice synthesis.

[Bob1997654321]

Lol something like this should happen when you get VAC banned. It would be super scary.

[Catmangamer]

@Bob1997654321

haha, that made my day! xD

[stanleyopar91]

GLaDOS would be scared shitless.

[MEGATRYANT]

@stanleyopar91 lol chell would fire the portal gun whit the operational part of the gun

[MEGATRYANT]

@stanleyopar91 turned to hear

[oniichandrawings]

"How can you challenge a perfect, immortal machine?"

(okay, let me think)...

"This statement is false. True or False?" >:D

[supremacistdawn]

4 people are pathetic creatures of meat and bone.

[dalajllama]

Shodan is hot!

[tzanegmr]

i pasted this log from my old saved game. "idiot, i will shortly complete de downloadign of my magnificent psyche into earths computer systems, then i shal leave you as the new master of this doomed space station. goodbye, irritant..we shall NOT meet again !

[PenItFoMeYo]

SHODAN seems a little angry. Maybe GLaDOS could offer her some cake.

[Vanset123]

half life 1,2

portal 1,2

system shock 1,2

My favorite games.Yours too?

[0BucketMask0]

This plays every time I start up my computer :D

Just recently discovered these games. I never would have given them a try if it weren't for this one line here- I fell in love with that voice. not in the gay way, though. I just, yeah.

[Lostentranslation]

@0BucketMask0 haha, I love how you felt it was necessary to claim no homo.

[0BucketMask0]

@Lostentranslation :p

[SantuXD6]

SHODAN's message towards the PS3 hackers

[Marioking707]

You see this quote? When somone gets VAC banned on steam from a game this should play at full blast.

[TheWiseGuy784]

I didn't need sleep anyway.

[raappeli]

glaDOS and Shodan would make a great team..

[00ShuYin00]

@raappeli there's a problem...from the looks of things, Shodan is way more "insane" and "power-mad" then GLaDOS is

the latter atleast has a friendly sounding voice and some nice turrets along with her :D

if i had to choose who to hang out with, i'd definately go with GLaDOS

[Selageth]

@raappeli

Almost... now glaDOS, SHODAN and HAL... THAT would be a great team. Even an apocalyptic one.

[xXull]

@Selageth I don't know, glaDOS is a child and HAL just doesn't want to be shut down.

Shodan is a lot like PROTEUS from an old scifi movie that I don't remember the name of

[Selageth]

@xXull

True, they all have very distinctive personalities and reasons for their behaviour, but they are all malignant in their own ways. The lengths to which they go to achieve their goals speak for themselves.

[DorianMichaelsIII]

@xXull If you're talking about what I think you are (a computer intelligence that eventually takes control of a motorized wheelchair equipped with a manipulator arm), then the movie you're talking about is Donald Cammell's 1977 The Demon Seed-- which sees an AI with the voice of Robert Vaughn (PROTEUS IV) synthetically rape Julie Christie so she gives birth, in one month, to a bright new bouncing baby abomination...who also has the voice of Robert Vaughn.

[xXull]

@DorianMichaelsIII Yes, you are right on the spot. His monologues are sociopath and intelligent, really messed up stuff.

[TheTSense]

@raappeli do you know a AI named CABAL?

[LithiumLogica]

@TheTSense Actually, CABAL was awesome... and the female electronic voice from Mechwarrior 2. EVA from C&C, too. :D

[LithiumLogica]

@TheTSense My favorite sounding AI voices so far have been the male voice from the Crysis suit... (not that it said much, but the distortion was awesome), and SHODAN. GlaDOS was a very close third.

[PantsAreDown]

@raappeli Lesbian cyber pr0n yeeaaahh

[MayThereBePivot]

@raappeli Not really, GLaDOS is illogical and brash, while Shodan is the perfect entity. Logical and cold.

[ArkhamResearchFiles]

@raappeli GLaDOS, SHODAN, and VAL would be the best worst team-up in the world XD

[deathshadow2492]

@raappeli Along with HAL 9000.

[3rdLotus]

@raappeli Who's the protagonist then?

[SamanthaVoorhees]

@Schilcote Well the jokes on you bud. Not only have you been thumbed down, you've also been marked as spam.

[Katrinaprime]

@Schilcote And Shodan is ten times more hard core. Discussions "true" end.

[Katrinaprime]

@Schilcote Lots of thumbs down for you!

[BathedinSin]

I have the weirdest boner right now.

[EffectiveKill]

before glados there was shodan

[Cairia]

@IntelgratedShiznit

I don't think a game that is quoted as best PC game ever on a regular basis can be called underrated

[anthony62490]

@Cairia I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt and say that he was probably referring to how the game bombed on release.

[icesyncer]

Nah

[SteamGrace]

I've beaten SS1, and I've never gotten this message...

Okay, maybe I have? But it doesn't show up in the e-mail log since that's where she usually deposits her threats.

[razalin]

@SteamGrace It is in the game, she says it out of the blue at some point, i think about 1/3 of the way through the game, dis bitch is Craaaazy. She makes Charles Manson seem perfectly normal. I don't think there is a log, i think she just brings up her face icon while she is saying it. But yea, it's definitely in the game.

[kermit3421]

Still my FAVORITE GAME!  The intro sounds better in surround sound!

[DistortedMannequin]

Damn, does this line bring back memories.

[madalert]

WTF is this? This is really creepy!

[DemoniteDreams]

SS2 is still one of the only games that can scare the life out of me. The constant drone of the ship in the background screws with your head, and even when you know something is around the corner it can still make you jump through the roof. The cargo bay... oh god, the cargo bay....

[Combine605]

Her? Wrong, correction: It.

[amcgbc]

@Combine605

Well, actually, any AI is, by default design, inherently female in nature, and is therefore regarded as a 'she,' unless the AI in question was designed to have a male voice. In which case it is more often referred to as 'he,' instead of 'it.'

[Coolerdbz69]

@IntelgratedShiznit They need to play REAL games. Its all graphics these days.... COD and Counterstrike, I've played both and fail to see whats so great! Half of them are probably 14 year old kids... *sigh*

[Usul573]

Panting, sweating, in her corridors?

Hmmm.....

[RikMcCloud]

I wonder what would happen if SHODAN met up with what is effectively her sister, GLaDOS?

[xXPurpleSergueiXx]

@RikMcCloud Then the world would be screwed!

[ljones121]

hehehe i'd love to figure out away to change out how my windows starts, and as it loads up the colors load into shodan's face, and when its done her eye's open and it goes "I AM SHODAN!"

[ThePotatoFish]

Kekeke, hacker got pwned by Dr. Hax shortly after the events of SS2. AWWH YEAH.

[GreenShark4]

We're hitting on a virtual character in a virtual world in a video game?

We really ARE pathetic creatures of meat and bone.

[Vashiker]

@GreenShark4 i loled

[242nd]

@GreenShark4 xD

[ynotdrol2]

She is the pathetic creature to become in a 0:22 youtube clip with only 81,000 views.

[lPheenixl]

I respect these few timeless games that go beyond mere gameplay, but I must admit I never saw what was so terrifying about Shodan.

[Andre00x]

@lPheenixl

I agree

[MadaraXIII]

O__o God forbid if the internet was ever run by Shodan...

[Coolerdbz69]

@MadaraXIII Haaaaaa utter chaos

[catsndogs98]

I challenge by offering her a date.

[jmm1233]

she too much of a virtual turn on

[themissinggene]

Sounds very sexual.

[Tunazap]

This still gives me chills...god, wish they made villains like this still.

[LivingDeadVideos]

"How can you challenge a perfect, immortal machine?"

"With Crysis on high settings."

[l0rf]

@LivingDeadVideos Made my day.

[Thedeoradude]

@LivingDeadVideos you win everything



[D00ml0rdKazzak]

@LivingDeadVideos N-N-NOOO YOU C-CANNOT *asplodes*

[gojira12345678910]

@LivingDeadVideos SHODAN: Oh shit, well...uh...I guess we're at an impasse here then...

[ThatGamesGuy]

@LivingDeadVideos I'd like to contribute on the topic of "How can you challenge a perfect, immortal machine?"

Ahem.

public static void main(String[] args) {

for (int ctr = 0; ctr < 1; ctr--)

{ System.out.println("Look at you Computer, can't even save yourself from an infinite loop")

}

}

[psichicarcano]

@LivingDeadVideos WITH A PORTAL GUN??

[MEGATRYANT]

@LivingDeadVideos now whit crysis 2 on minimun

[TaintedMojo]

@LivingDeadVideos What do you think drove her insane in the first place?

[Wharwulif]

@TaintedMojo She looked at what people post on youtube...that's about it =P

[CaptCow]

"...how can you challenge a perfect, immortal machineeeeee..." Easy! EMP BITCH!!!

[toaster468]

GLaDOS! FTW

[PanZZerr51]

@toaster468

wrong video my friend. ;)

[IlersichProductions]

@toaster468 Not a chance.

[themasteriswatching]

That's not what your mom said last night, SHODAN

[zaelie]

If you listen to the majority of Shodan's samples you'll hear a mash of many people talking softly, calmly and incoherantly at lots of points. I think the sound guy for system shock made that choice because humans feel safer if many other people are around, and a malevolent AI would leverage that to their advantage in order to instill a kind of false saftety or weakness in the target.

Maybe I'm looking too much into it heh...

[kaskoenrico]

@zaelie

wow. now you are dr. zaelie, expert for artificial structures and tactical execution against dangerous electronics^^

[Tarik360]

@zaelie you forgot to include fear, that mash of voices at the background of her speeches are quite intimidating!

[SsnakeBite]

... or in layman's terms: HAAAAAAAAAAX !!

[LudicusMaximus]

Meat? Bone? Panting and sweating? Her "corridors"?

Yes, please.

[kaskoenrico]

oh my god really WHEN AND WHERE?!? I want to see which AI is more deadly

[kasmaii]

guys! listen!

their is some best villain contest on gamestop!

their using some disqualification method using vs.

one of them is SHODAN vs GLaDOS.

we need your help to put shodan on top.

come on don't let your goddess down!

[Alex631210]

o hell..the nightmares...Me want preciousssssssssssssss

[rbh1138]

I totally would be panting and sweating while in her corridors. Oh Yeah!

[7thNCtrooper2]

Someone get me an EMP weapon ASAP! That should take care of that, but then again I don't know considering that I have not played this game.

[cjkid14]

@7thNCtrooper2 There are emp rifles and grenades, those kill her quickly too lol.

[7thNCtrooper2]

@cjkid14 Good to know I made the right call!

[MsSylviaBlue]

GLaDOS is waaaaaaaaay better! but still comes in second in my book.

[ningeaBLADEclanuBECA]

Which is badder?GlaDOS or SHODAN?

[ghostsade3]

@ningeaBLADEclanuBECA

Shodan..

[Tarik360]

Alternate title (judging the comments below): "An AI's oppinion on video game cheaters"

[View100]

You know what is scarier than Shodan...You stuck in a ship with Shodan and GLaDOS.

[IlersichProductions]

@View100 If GLaDOS was on a ship with SHODAN and the Many, it would result in an unsatisfactory mark on her official testing record, followed by death.

[foxrat10]

@IlersichProductions OH NO!! AN UNSATISFACTORY MARK!!

[kaskoenrico]

it just turns me on^^

[RiNSpy]

Where does she say this in the game? Does she?

I have played through SS1 a few months ago, and I don't remember hearing this phrase.

[MDxm3000]

@RiNSpy: Introduction, also did you play the original or the high def CD version? :D

[RiNSpy]

@MDxm3000 Haha, I know she says it in the introduction. I was wondering if she also says it during the actual game. =)

And I played the CD version, the one with voices. (Glad I could use the Mouselook mod, made controls a lot easier!)

[Reconite11]

I'd hack her corridors with my sweaty meat.

[yousini]

HUMAN would have been better than hacker, would sound less lame.

[Sahuagin]

@yousini I think saying 'hacker' establishes a kind of relationship between them, since this isn't just a regular person, it's someone who has a better than average understanding of things like machines and AI's; he's a worthy opponent, or at least as worthy an opponent as mankind has to offer.

[Jackafur]

@yousini

it sounds lame now cause kids who jailbreak there gay ass iphones or use scripts think they are hackers now.

[routhoula]

she is straight forward. arrogant evil and all

[FuzzyWuzzy147]

My soul :(

[dlausactor6373]

Where's the best place to get this game?

[lykin005]

OMG sexiest line by any character ever.

[GLaDOSgeek]

I'm sure this will creep the shit out of my friends if I had this as a ringtone. XD

[Usul573]

@GLaDOSgeek

AWESOME IDEA HAHA

[Tamerlane101]

@GLaDOSgeek  I would definatley put that on my phone.

[PvtRichardCranium]

SHODAN will fall, when all stop using dial-up...

[KevServo]

@PvtRichardCranium Then we will have cake.