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  • This joke was ripped of from only fools and horses

  • Haha

  • *says in cleavlands voice* that's just nasty

  • lol.i love thise jokes

  • Haha....not bad!!!

  • i dont get it

  • @fl00dsm0k3 the joke is that when the guy was describing the hunting story and he he said the lion jumped out and roars at him. The boys think the "Raaar" sound he made was describing the lion roar, but it turns out when he first said "Raaaar" he was shitting his pants right there (Cuz hes old)

  • @fl00dsm0k3 Because your a dickhead

  • lawl

  • Narrator needs to speak clearly? That's what makes it funny.

  • a man went hunting one day. he walked through the woods and he saw a bear he draw his rifle and aimed to the bear, shot and missed. before he could reload the bear came to him and said:

    -you tried to shoot me so i must rape you

    the bear did what he said and went on his way. the hunter aimed the bear and tried to shoot him and he missed again and the bear came to him and said:

    -now tell me... you didnt came here to hunt now did you?

  • my name is eli :)

  • Another dull one.

  • yes he does need to speak more clearly and tht was kind of fnny..but ot funny enough for me to actually laugh.................but lolz

  • Anyone notice the lion looks like Eli?

  • the narrorater needs to speek more clearly

  • fucking jokes.......

  • I dont get I

  • who else dances at the beginning when the tune come on?

  • I like how you stole this from only fools and horses

  • the story teller is really annoying please make him speak normal and clearly

  • @deathofpreyor How dare you dis Eli!?

  • @PiPhiC u must admit thet it is really hard to listen what he is saying sometimes

  • Nurses giving a woman in acoma a sponge bath noticed that when they washed her private area there was a responce on the monitor. They eventualy convince the husband that a little oral sex would bring her out of the coma. After a few minutes the woman's monitor flat-lines... no pulse... no heart rate. The nurses run into the room. The husband is standing there, pulling up his pants and says, "I think she choked."

  • @TurtleBlastingOG oh my god facepalm times 10

  • Comment removed

  • @drutrunks from another country*? caught* they* shoved* up his ass* laughing* bananas* hehe FAIL

  • i didnt get it

  • 2 beavers are in the bar . The big beaver said : "I slept with your mother !" The small beaver said : "Dad ! You're drunk !"

  • @s3Xy5tuff i didnt do that stupid shit. Im alive. soo....sorry to lower your self esteem.

  • @drone93 ikr

  • @s3Xy5tuff Fake and gay

  • @TheBah12345 ikr 

  • @s3Xy5tuff

    Go fuck yourself with a wired whisk.

  • where can you find a one legged dog?

    where ever the fuck you left him!

  • It's an Eli-on!

    XDDD

  • @LootFragg

    Holy shit i was 12 back than i just checked im not scared of them anymore :D

  • one day a man was crossing the boarder with his bycicle and a bag of sand.so the police stop him.they say whats in the bag.he says sand.so the police take the bag and check it,it turns out it was only sand.the police man says move along.the next day the man did the same thing they check the bag and it was still sand.this went on for a year.finally the police comes to him and says please u been driving me crazy just between you and me what were u smuggling the man sips his beer and says bycicles

  • Comment removed

  • On December 24,2006 at 8 o'clock in the morning, a young 14 year old boy by the name of Scott Jackson was found dead.Doctors couldn't come up with the cause of his death.His mother checked his emails to see if she could figure out what happened.Turns out he was still signed into myspace.She found he had gone to sleep after he read and didn't repost a chain letter.if you don't repost this to 6 videos a girl with no face will kill you tonight. sorry don't wanna die

  • @musicfan4441 I would like you to know that from the bottom of my heart, I genuinely hate you

  • @XxBRIAN182xX

    hah totally agreed

  • A black guy and a mexican are in a car, who's driving?....The cops

  • That's stupid

  • @hisham1619 no its funny XD

  • It's an Elion

  • On December 24,2006 at 8 o'clock in the morning, a young 14 year old boy by the name of Scott Jackson was found dead.Doctors couldn't come up with the cause of his death.His mother checked his emails to see if she could figure out what happened.Turns out he was still signed into myspace.She found he had gone to sleep after he read and didn't repost a chain letter.if you don't repost this to 6 videos a girl with no face will kill you tonight. sorry don't wanna die

  • This joke is of only fool and horses about 20 years ago

  • A man gets arrested by a female officer who says "anything you say can and will be held against you" , the man says "boobs"

  • lions eli

  • Comment removed

  • A dog, a cat, and a penis are sitting around a camp fire one night. The dog says, "My life sucks, my master makes me do my business on a fire hydrent!". The cat says, "I don't think so, my master makes me do my business in a box of cat litter." The penis outraged, says "At least your master doesn't put a bag over your head and make you do push ups until you throw up!"

  • I actually read the comments before wathing the video!

  • Steve Martin told this joke with mike myers pn snl in the 90's

  • LOL

  • After watching an hour of Gilbert Gottfried this feels pretty tame.

  • LOL

  • lol, the lion looks like Eli :D

  • Haha

  • xDD.. this really cheer my day up! wakakakakkaka! lame but ace one lol..

  • This is the first one to actually make me LOL

  • lame

    

  • if quizzes are quizzical what are tests?

  • 3 Men get arrested. on their way into jail, an officer stops them and asks the first man what he got arrested for. The man says, ''blowing bubbles in the park.'' Confused, the officer sends him off. He asks the next man that, to which he replied, ''blowing bubbles in the park.'' the officer sends him off and says to the next guy, ''lemme guess, you got arrested for blowing bubbles in the park?'' the man says, ''No, im Bubbles.'' :))

  • @MustSeeShaneDawson i get it hahahahahahahhahahahahahahahah­ahahahahhahaahahhahaahahhaahha

  • @MustSeeShaneDawson lol good one

  • @MustSeeShaneDawson 3 kids are absent from school the next day they come in the teacher asked the first one where have you been and he said i was on top of blueberry hil she asked the next one where have you been he said i was on top of blueberry hill then the girl walks in and the teacher says where have you been no lemme guess you were on top of bluee berry hill then she says but im bluee berry hill!

  • @MustSeeShaneDawson love your user name ;))

  • @coolfm98 i love shane dawson

  • @MustSeeShaneDawson haha saw that :D btw me too ;)

  • @coolfm98 :)

  • @MustSeeShaneDawson Haha XD You have an awesome joke and even better Youtube user name

  • @rennu0010 i get that a lot

  • @MustSeeShaneDawson No $hit Sherlock XD

  • @MustSeeShaneDawson old joke man

  • @commandercornish yea, i know. 4 months is a pretty long time.

  • Eli is the Lion.

  • a little boy walks in on his mom taking a shower, he points to the hair on her pussy and says "mommy whats that?" and the mom says "uh, thats my washcloth"..A few days later, the mom is getting her tubes tied so they shave off the hair. When the mom comes home, the boy sees that the hair is missing and says "mommy, where's your washcloth?" and the mom (wanting to distract the boy) says "i dont know, why dont you find it? and later the boy says "mommy! the maid is rubbing dad's face with it!" XD

  • that was on a movie

  • ahahah

  • boi getcho

    donald trumph doin da dougie in a snuggie lookin asz beetle juice lookin ass tour bus head ass on.. snowcone waffle neck ass.. u look like 1 of the creators off of spongebob.. polaroid snapback head ass..u the dirty ass nigga i seen on the street with them plaid see thru K swiss.. musty ass dude...u where bow ties wit all yo collar shirts..pee wee herman lookin ass..getcho lame ass on

  • c'mon, fart jokes are always funny!

  • Comment removed

  • @Shawooook why watch it then? its called common sense

  • Lol

  • lol ive heard that on the "only fools and hoorses" from delboy's uncle :)

  • lol

  • i've heard different versions of that joke ages ago

    

  • ajjaja..es malo..muy malo..

  • Eli is the lion in this one :)

  • @SuperChocs he's going to rape and kill the boy. get it. so he's going back alone. the boy isn't coming back lol

  • lol he pooped himself while tellibg the story lol

  • i got a joke

    womens rights ;D

  • @TheMikeyZxxx good, but I gotta better one: educated mexican :D

  • Only Fools and Horses but you changed it around lolol

  • lmao this is really funny xD

  • the lion is really ugly

  • once there was an ugly woman and she had a pig rapped up in her arms, a guy walks by and says ''where you get the pig??'' and the pig answers ''at the fair''

  • @rudnymullenlover lame, Eli already did a joke on that

  • That joke was dirty in the wrong way

  • I shit my pants

  • I just shit my pants

  • sub me

  • ELI LION!!! EEEEK!!!!

  • elias the lion

  • massive LLLLOOOOOLLLL

  • DAMN NATURE!! YOU SCARY!

  • Ok with the exception of a few ot the ways this was arranged, the joke seems to be a remarkable simularity to the joke told in the UK Show 'Only Fools and Horses'.

  • i love the faces that they make at the end hahaha

  • eli is th3 lion

  • so your mom was giving me fantastic oral sex, i then preceded to ejaculate directly in her mouth, she swallowed it and raved about how tasty and thick it was

  • a young boy goes to a circus, he finds it funny until the lights go out, AAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!! a scary clown!!!!!!!! "said the young boy" suddenly :p he ran into a wall and $hit his pants.

  • was in only fools and horses

  • fat lian attack by 0:30

  • there was a drug addict who wanted to smoke weed but his neighborhood was guarded by cops so he decided to go to cemetery. in there a zombie risen and wanted to scare him so he came up to him and said:

    -gimme some of this

    -sure why not

    -*thoughts* hmm. he doesnt scare that easily lets try again *puls his eyes out and asks to give a smoke*

    -no

    -why not

    -i see that this weed messes you up

  • How does this spark a debate over 9/11?

  • thats some funny *shit* XD

  • Eli is the lion

  • @Iceeman234 duhh

  • @shepdog14 dude.. architecs and engineers explained that its impossible to make fall a skyscraper with a plane crash.There were explosives in right spots to make the twin towers go down.there are a lot of websites called architecs for 9/11,engineers for 9/11 and so on that explain a lot of stuff ...just try to check.if you don't want to belive me it's ok but you are wrong about your stupid governament and stupid united shit of america.

  • @kato093 The airplane was at a full tank of gas running into a bigger object, sparks would set off that entire tank thus meaning a big explosion where they fall. The government wouldn't kill off 3000 U.S. Citizens to go to war for money, thats just not human.

  • @shepdog14 Muslims worked in the world trade center too, muslim extremist wouldn't kill there own kind either. And people kill for money all the time, especially millions and millions worth in oil.

  • I feel kinda dumb...i dont get it...does someone wanna explain??

  • @shepdog14 9/11 is fake the pentagon is behind what happened back then.do some search on internet and you will find out that usa governament had huge financial problems so they made look like terrorists attacked them so they could make war and gain free oil.just look at the video of the crash.how in the world an aluminiun plane could make fall a skyscraper??it had to crash exactly in the centre of mass...maybe once but two times its impossible(according to professional architects)

  • @kato093 Who are you? The general public...as the general public you don't know SHIT. That internet trash is all a lie. I have family in the government and they know what is going on, what happened, and why. if you believe our government did this to us then your nothing to us. WHAT THE FUCK DO ARCHITECTS HAVE TO DO WITH TERRORISTS???(Explain..). The oil was to fund the actual war while we fought it, it wasn't necessary, but it helped. People like you are the reason our country is falling a part.

  • Eli's the lion.

  • this one is my favorite

  • 413 people don't hunt

  • eli is the lion

  • did wli shit in his pants or did the ld dude shit in his pants?

  • Comment removed

  • what did the fat alien say to the dog " take me to your feeder!"

  • stolen joke

  • did you make these up youself

  • Two guys were walking down the street & saw a dog licking his balls.

    One guy says to the other, "Gee, I wish I could do that!"

    The other guy says, "Don't you wanna pet him first?"

  • the blonde in a swiming pool, ¨im sooo wet¨

  • HAHAHAHA I like this one tooo funny!

  • you guys are retarded. everyone knows eli isnt the lion

  • there are really stupid.

  • A clown and a young boy go walking into a deep forest. The boy says to the clown "mr, im scared its dark and spooky". The clown replies "how the fuck do you think i feel, i have to walk back alone"

  • @WoundX PEDOCLOWN!

  • @WoundX Two lions were eating a clown. One says to the other, does this taste funny to you?

  • @WoundX that is from shadow man game

  • @WoundX Why does the clown have to walk back alone?

  • @Cesariono hes gonna kill the boy

  • @WoundX The joke is pretty good, but its got some time to take effect. So my suggest is to replace the son and the clown with OJ Simpson and his ex-wife. Or something like that.

  • @WoundX Two lions are eating a clown. One lion says to the other, "Does this taste funny to you?"

  • @WoundX lmao good one bro!

  • @WoundX i dont get it im dumb lol

  • @hghost08 the clown murders the boy and walks back alone

  • @WoundX the way i heard it it was a little boy and a pedophile

  • @WoundX OMG

  • i got one What is the difference between the mafia and a pussy...................one slip of the touge and ur in deep shit :)

  • @MrPall1212 dude the pussys in the front and shit comes out the back

  • @TheM14OK lmao fail

  • That was fucking awesome!

  • I swear this joke is from Only fools and Horses?

  • One day Mama sent little Johnny to the corner store for soap, starch and indigo. As he was skipping along he created a little song; "soap, starch and indigo, soap starch and indigo." He trips and falls and when he gets back up he resumes his song "Shit fart and away we go!"

  • wana hear a dirty joke? - a white horse fell in the mud

    wana hear a clean joke? - we gave it a bath

    wana hear a dirty joke? - i fucked your mom......

  • HOLY ELI y' scary, and i just sh!t myself to lol

  • LMAO.