Monty Python Self Defence Class

[Mobiusonetwenty]

i love this one, because when they're telling him about all the fruits they've done, the camera shows john cleese, looking all down, like they really got him on it this time, it really shows that they got one over on him in his expression

[yh3e]

hahahahahaaa, cures my depression

[ToonSwe]

NEXT!!!

I eat the banana

[chloebowiex]

when you're walking home tonight, and some great homocidial maniac comes after you with a bunch of loganberries DON'T COME CRYIN TO ME

[JustinIsAlwaysWright]

Didn't see that one coming.

[thelovelyducks]

@FuNslzEd467 you are a bitch. that is all.

[aircrashhh]

}0



[FuNsIzEd467]

@payneturner holy fuck! you need to calm down and stop replying to every comment you see just so you can uphold whats left of your self esteem that is rapidly declining in the thing you call a "life". and what i said was a just a joke so you need to calm down. oh yea, and FYI, i'm white.

[arcticfox1013]

Wasn`t this originally a boot camp skit? I remember seeing the exact same thing as a boot camp in Flying Circus.

[FuNsIzEd467]

that is the most racist bunch of people i have ever met

1. the teachers looks like hitler

2. the students are dressed all in white=KKK

[midgetchinese]

@FuNsIzEd467 u met them? lucky you

[FuNsIzEd467]

@midgetchinese yeaaaa i realized that after i posted it buy i didnt feel like correcting it

[klawzilla]

@FuNsIzEd467 YOU HAVENT MET THEM YOU MORON

[FuNsIzEd467]

@klawzilla stfu you autistic bastard i already apologized for my mistake so leave it alone and how would you know whether i have met them? and plus it is technically a figure of speech so try getting educated you illiterate bastard

[payneturner]

@FuNsIzEd467 They are racist? Let me guess, you are just another dumb nigger who sees racism in everything, and blames racism for being a failure, right? And I'm sure you're literate enough to recognize that me calling you a dumb nigger is just a figure of speech. Technically.

[ilchey]

@FuNsIzEd467 they are dressed in white=KKK, do you think that all people in the navy are racist, grow up

[FuNsIzEd467]

@ilchey STFU. why do all of you stupid mother fuckers take this so fucking serious? you need to calm down you stupid ass prick. it was just a fucking comment and your pissing me the fuck off. my comment is i don't even know how fucking old. stop commenting on it!!!!!!!! FUCKING FAGGOTS.

[ilchey]

@FuNsIzEd467 easy girl, you say something stupid like this being racist cause they are dressed in whit, then your bound to be bombarded with replys

[FuNsIzEd467]

@ilchey omg. how autistic can u ppl be? and how many times to i hv to say "it was just a joke". stop fucking bothering me about it. you ppl need to grow your self esteem somewhere other than the fucking internet. my god you stupid pricks.

[brownyrockc]

lol (and this time I mean it)

[jjsomers2012]

Suppose he's got a pointed stick? SHUT UP!! my fav part

[armadafanforever]

2:50 FTW!!!

[curleegirl100]

those shorts are sooo bad!! lol i wish i was british just so i could say banana :)

[TheDalen2016]

Bin Laden didn't know how to defend himself aginst a man armed with fresh fruit

[TheScarfaceNinja]

that is a man who loves his fruit

[DarkMetalEyes]

"Suppose he's got a bunch?"

"Shut up!"

"Suppose he's got a poin-ted stick?"

"SHUT UP!"

[Tuck213]

So fruit isn't healthy.

[BenjaminWirtz]

If he has a pointed stick, take it and eat it, thus disarming him.

[leovailati]

"Next, I eat the banana" *me gusta*

[Critic1273]

OMG I cant stop laughing i can bearly breathe!

[contrastofshadows]

keep pressing 9 for masterbating his bicep

[anandodasgupta]

there is another version of this!

[TheEnthe0s]

@anandodasgupta Yeah, this is the best one. :)

[JeggFilms]

And mangos and syrup.

[pyropickles]

82 people got attacked with a bunch of loganberries

[killerkirbydude]

Well, I suppose that's where the others have got to...

[hulmedogcity]

press 2 for dick

[lonewolf379th]

Seeing that the UK no longer believes that its law-abiding citizens are to be safe & unmolested in mind, purse (wallet) & body without use of weaponry, any citizen who ventures out after dark is 'a bloody fool.'

Over here, some folks are still safe because they make it so.

Unfortunately, progressive judges believe that the thugs are supposed to have more 'rights' than law-abiding citizens.

BTW, how long before the UK becomes Sharia-ized?

[desmondmyers]

@lonewolf379th oh fuck off you great bloody schiffer wanking son of caddlemouthed bashwacking fishmonger!

[Adamoff]

82 people are retarded!

[AtomicProductions98]

Press 1 for a freak

Press 2 for a uh!

Press 3 for a pizza

Press 4 for a YOUIDDA!

Press 5 if you want to be annoyed.

Press 6 for a button

Press 7 for a BIPPIDA!

Press 8 for a really loud blink.

Press 9 to see someone get silently punched.

[AtomicProductions98]

82 people were attacked by someone armed with a banana.

[Tijmen0for0President]

Keep pressing 1 xD

[TomHadders95]

Lmfao XD

[TheAlexrice]

he forgot to release the tiger!

[PaulJuliusSokoloff]

John Cleese is the single best genius of all-time comedy - no comparison.

He has the most confidence in every sketch, most original (the entire Monty Python actually), he is multi-talented, and flawless!

[PaulJuliusSokoloff]

"Now scream"

"EHHHHHH"

fukin hilarious!!!

[rocksoliddude1]

82 people were told to shut up

[Fredman5551]

lololololol

[chrissomerry]

Did they mention durians?

[Lexyvil]

Next; You eat the banana.

[234maniak]

keep pressing 1

[canadianAK47]

what if someone attacks you wiiiiiiith....

A HERRING!

[birminghambred]

@canadianAK47 NI! NI! NI!

[toeroxursox]

then, you eat the banana :)

[ThePullaMies]

82 people cannot speak like the instructor.

[Linken233]

82 people were shot dead

[TheSeptembersweetie]

I dont think the others are sick. I think they cease to be. They are no more. They have gone to meet their maker. This is a dead parrot I mean um They are dead.

[ToadSageNaruto100]

You don't need selfdefence lessons when you've got a gun...

[Redheadfury]

@ToadSageNaruto100 If only they'd thought of that!

[minusblame]

123 done

[monoose35]

and now for something completely different.

[runescape3313]

Come on MAN!!! ATTACK ME!!

[k9DaAV]

eeh. the plane one is the best monty python skit ive seen. thats 2

[NrthEastOHsk8]

Mr. Apricot

[atortarr]

The little hop @ 1:20 is the funniest thing in this entire sketch. Well that, and the scream + gunshot @ 2:48.

[gopsu2011]

1:20 priceless

[gopsu2011]

ooh, short shorts :)

[RobertBrtka]

I don´t expect some kind of spanish inquisicion .

[simpsonsguy22]

80 people need to "SHUT UP!!"

[stitchesinyourface]

Mmmmmm i love me some Eric Idle bod :DDDD

[ThingsWeSaidToday]

michael's got cute legs. 

[waldorman]

hahahah Monty python ftw haven't watched these guys in ages

[shaihulud4815]

2:43 priceless

[N449S]

1:04 - 1:16 The best!

[Mozman1985]

Whole and segments!!

[XYSHOOR]

78 people think fresh fruit not good enough for them.

[Danigoddamnit]

I wish my PE teacher taught us this. I'm forever worried about a manical lychee wielder in the dark alleyways at night!

[CANAD14N]

to anyone who dislikes this. "when your walking home tonight and some great homicidal maniac comes at you with a bunch of loganberries, Don't come crying to me!"

[defconfour12]

@CANAD14N you owe me the cup of beer i spit up when i read your comment...LMAO

[larsosborne117]

it's sir Galahad!

[radiohippie]

"And mangos in syrup!"

[kmbl654]

they forgot tomatos

[Timmo323]

Fresh fruit not good enough for you eh!!

[rockedtwatcat]

"now you mr. apricot"

"harrison..."

"sorry, harrison!"

graham's primal scream is fantastic :)

[CandiceTalks]

"Suppose he's got a bunch!"

[kooshila]

 78people wanna learn how to deffend themselves against pointed sticks

[kooshila]

78 people wanna learn how to deffend themselves against pointed sticks

[MicroT3ch]

Suppose he had a bunch of loganberries on a pointed stick!

[katie910324]

aww, it's not the full video of it :( my favorite part is the raspberries!!

[ForceRecon198]

Wait, didn't he already kill them? LOL

[supersmashbro596]

this is why the kremlings were unable to defeat the kongs in donkey kong 64...

THEY WANTED TO DEFEND THEMSELVES AGAINST POINTED STICKS INSTEAD OF FRUIT AMMUNITION.

[fortunanike]

Loganberries! The homicidal maniacs favourite weapon

[Akhin]

hahaha this is like the primitive version of another of their sketches

[pschroeter1]

I thought dropped a 10 weight on him or released a tiger.

[shredderduuude]

To really get the maximum lols from this you should watch the whole thing in context with the scetch compilaton "And now for something completely different". The transition between this scetch and the scetch "Nudge, Nudge" is one of the most hilarious, yet most random ever. It involvs a nun rowing a boat on the floor, expressing her honest opinions on sex.

"SHUT UP, YOU!!!"

[DavyDeckwalker]

78 people got attacked by bananas.

[mikethemotormouth]

this is my favorite scene from the movie, possibly my fave python sketch ever

[daverkl]

Right, you, Mr Apricot ...........

[bkboy747]

suppose he's got a pointed stick!

[pgyuri2]

@bkboy747 SHUT UPPP! :)

[pancakebarkley2]

@bkboy747 "SHUT UP!"

[kell1425]

@bkboy747 SHUT UP!!

[Killvinversion2]

@bkboy747 SHUT UP!

[quizmaster85]

@bkboy747 SHUT UP!

[ShadowFall19]

Wait a second, where did he get that gun from? cuz it definately wasnt there in the begining of the video O_o

[DragonitesareAwesome]

Now we know where the other classmates went.....

[TheSpiritofZero]

Now come at me! AAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHH! POW! next, i eat the banana!

[TinSoldierPhoenix]

suppose someone attacks you with a pointed stick

[GreatQueenFan]

gotta LOVE the way eric looks at 0.56

[coradensha670]

Then what do I do with my pointed stick? Should I trade it in for a passion fruit or a banana?

[pursehappygal]

"A bunch of loganberries!"

[Thebestever441]

2:18 lol

[jazzmanzoot]

I`m goin` to bed. This is far to silly !

[Fyapowah]

I think i know what happened to absent people.

[ctwebster44]

no no no run and scream like thisAAAAHHHHHH ok.ok AHHHHHHH- BAAAM!!!!

OMG

[wotusay69]

CHECK SOUND BEFORE U UPLOAD!! EARDRUMS R BLEEDING

[omahagreek]

COME ON MAN ATACK ME!!!!! kdsfalksdnl BAM hahahahahahahaha

[M4x3dPK3r]

"Let me tell you something my lad when your walking home tonight and some great homicidal maniac comes at you with a bunch loganberries don't come crying to me" BRILLIANT xD !!

[Sami7685]

Hahaha! One of my favorite routines, next to philosopher football. :D

[heimatbund]

2:46 ^^

[itubeyoudont]

they never did guavas or etroggs....

[pawnsacrifice1]

"pointed stick?"....Cleese deserved an oscar for this sketch

[Mr4eyes26]

here is answer for the people saying y did they make two of the same sketch one is from the movie "Monty pythons and now for something completely different" yes that is the name funny rite and the other version of the sketch is from the sit-com "Monty pythons flying circus (the above is from the movie)

[Teeg32]

@Mr4eyes26 Yeah, back in the 60's there wasn't international TV syndication, so in order to get foreign stations to buy a show, they would promote it with a feature film, which was easy to sell internationally. ABC made Batman: the Movie for the same reason.

[xylenempacheco]

Lol are they Canadian?

[chessyproductionsLTD]

@xylenempacheco worst question ever... monty python are british

[itubeyoudont]

@xylenempacheco lolollo

[like2surf]

This one is far funnier than they other won for some reason.

[Kadiezi]

They made two of the same of this sketch >.> that's random..... like a pointed stick.

[3dg4r95]

H AHAHHQAGAgvhagsahaghahahhahaha­hhahahahahah he shot him HAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!

[kalloused]

"You Mr.Apricot!"

"Harrison"

"Er...Sorry, Harrison!"

lol

[spadehatesscrewtube]

i still want to know what green gauges are.

[Shadow8055]

@spadehatesscrewtube Pretty much just green plums.

[spadehatesscrewtube]

@Shadow8055 really ? thanks!

[MrJazzdup]

What about a pointed stick

[RockstarUnited]

Next, I eat the banana.

[izmaski]

Come on then attack!

*Screams and lunges*

*Shoots*

*Falls and dies*

Right then, now, eat the banana!

Classic, I love them!

[rasenshuriken198]

"a banana fiend" lmao

[Ballol]

Damn, with that practicing tactic they're gonna get new students almost everyday.

[Nintendoman01]

2:50

"C'mon, man! Attack me!"

*guy runs screaming with the banana, only to be shot by the self-defense teacher, who grabs the banana"

"Next, I eat the banana!"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

[asgards3]

what are Logan berries?

[gguirao]

@asgards3 Loganberries are a hybrid between blackberries and raspberries.

[MXCRT5]

First of all, you force him to drop the banana, then, you EAT the banana, thus, dissarming him

[simkolkay]

The classic self defense class, there are dangerous people about.

[AvailabileUsername]

BANG! ... next, i eat the banana

[minihawk00]

Israel's Defence Force gets its training from Monty Python.

[perliva]

@minihawk00 haha yeah he’s from the IDF lol

[reian41]

FLU!? they should eat more fresh fruit

[warriorsleftnut]

youre problem is you dont eat enough fresh fruit!!!

[MrSupersillyous]

instructor: "NOW MR APRICOT!!!" Man: "harrison" instructor: "RIGHT!!!" LOL!!!!

[superteddy590]

i think we should kill people for voting this down... kidding the just must not like it.. but i hope they get aids XD

[DritonGusia]

naah the other version is perfect... this seem more amateur ...I cant get bored of the other one :)

[gianlutoro]

2:44 to 2:53 LOL

[XlinkinX402X]

2:18-2:25 i love that part

[XlinkinX402X]

next I eat the banana

[MrSpockShock]

haha gun + guy with bannana= lunch

[pidlive]

LMAO that scream is so freakishly funny.

[DailyDooms]

''SPOSE A GREAT BIG HOMICIDAL MANIAC WITH A BUNCH OF LOGABRIDS (What?) DONT COME CRYIN' TO ME!"

[popples101]

@DailyDooms Loganberries :P

[Knightimex]

Fucking retarded!

[rgkjnvce]

Then eat the Banana then eat the Banana.

[UserException]

2:54 - "Next, I eat the banana." Hilarious!

[sweetgothicrevenge]

LOL

[blazingsteel86]

Social commentary on Americans? That's MY kind of self-def class!

[squidb8]

@blazingsteel86 only in your mind steel

[Shadowgloom85]

I love Graham Chapman's scream while he's holding the banana

[bazthemac]

i think this is the greatest monty python sketch ever.

[pilou92]

I think every monty python sketch is the best monty phython sketch ever ;-)

[SteverTudge]

SHUT UP!

[HighwayToHell2112]

aaaw, you promised that we wouldn't do fruit this week!

CLASS!

[Blackbeltsmith]

Bang!

[iranianboy123]

lol

[gundumgrrl]

Love John Cleese

[Crispyhabib]

Next week, we cover plantains class!

[zodiacflower]

hey! you! mr apricot!!

[AquaPhoenix2006]

I ROFL'd so much at the end