George Carlin- Does the time bother you? 1978

[flamencoprof]

Who needs philosophers when there is someone like this?

[princez413]

Genius.

[craigpsimpson]

Philosophical comedy. A rare and wondrous achievement.

[InKa4484]

@craigpsimpson I see it more as a comedic philosophy.

[Sp33dyMik3]

the real message hes trying to send is actually important, we should live in the now. every moment, we never really are living in the present, were always looking FORWARD to something or harping on something from the past, we are never really worried about right NOW! this very instant. thats what hes trying to say. genius, him and hicks are the greats

[RandomGuy1994]

I'll be back before you know it!

*poof!*

HE DID IT, HOLY CHRIST!

[tipofmytongue1024]

Man he was a stud...woof

[zeppelinb1]

"there are no numbers in the sky, ive looked" haha

[catiebugg1998]

this is my favorite out of everything he did

[skoockum]

"Do you have the time?"

"Crap -- I thought you had it!"

[padmadness]

"before ya know it!" BFFTTT "HOLY CHRIST WE DID IT!!!" lolololol

[Teledible]

Yeah 71 years in not enough. He should stay a little longer to make us laugh harder ;)

[shinryuken0]

Jesus, George was incredibly skinny. And very handsome.

[toby81001]

He was so funny in 1978, it's amazing how he got progressively funnier as time went on. Greatest comedian of all time.

[skoockum]

@toby81001 "it's amazing how he got progressively funnier"

It's cuz he got progressively angrier.

[bitski488]

older george is funnier

[ethanash1000]

bullshit it's march 1st & i know it =D

[insanityxd5]

That is an amazing point walka

[Curtisfio]

No, ha Dane cook is not better and, what George is saying is not rocket science, hes pretty much speaking common sense, what alot of ppl in this country do not have yes George carlin may seem very smart and in detail with what he says but its just Common sense...

[ImOnlyMildlyRacist]

@core2bc I think Bill Hicks said this the best, if people dont want to think then why would you see a comedian? an idea has to exchanged for stand up comedy to work which involves thought. so saying that dane cook is better because he doesnt make you think is not valid.

[gjnelson70]

Dane Cook is so much better because he talks about shit and kool aid commercials. Why listen to someone who is philosphical and has a command and respect for the english language, shaking what was unknowingly inside you already and pointing it out to you, like seeing the sun rise for the first time, cajoling laughter from you, realizing how splendid it is, and how silly you are not to have seen it all along. Dane Cook is much better.

[Andza21]

@gjnelson70 You forgot "i think"

[BABABOOBZ]

2012 time tells you.

[darinbar]

Nine minutes of that, genuise.

[ThePopsheep]

what show is this from?

[ThaRealYoungNASA]

This was a nice philosophical thought, but it wasn't funny at all though....

[stfwho]

@ThaRealYoungNASA because it didn't have any dick or fart jokes?

[mykopy]

If you pause at 8:01, I never realized how much he looks like Mel Gibson when he smiles.

[redmr2na]

This ain't a couple of weeks that are missing here, these is thousands of goddamn years that are missing.

[BOSS320KB]

oh my dayz ... he just spoke exactly what i thought about time and i never knew who this guy was a week ago

I LOVE HIM

[4HoursSleep]

ive looked.. there not there, lol quality

[SuperFairy6]

2012 yeah

[AnImageBeneathMe]

happy 2012! :d

[ToiletProjectIndia]

Best ever Physics lecture on Time !

[boarding5401]

Who doesn't know what time is? Motion in space, a measurement of sequence for god's sake. Like words and numbers, time does not exist solely, abstract. Such creations give our minds a vague understanding of who, what, how, when, and where we are. Who cares what time it is. Don't let it run your life

[astrophonix]

Time is just nature's way of stopping everything from happening at once.

[MrCassavius]

the father of modern comedy, and possibly of modern humour

[spuggers]

37 people like Dane Cook....

[noone120000]

@spuggers That is good, Dane Cook is kinda funny but it's stupid funny.

[kaorutheimpaler]

@noone120000 humor, like taste is subjective. I'm a big fan of smart comedy as well tho. British comedy is Effing hilarious! (Just making a point, no vid comment)

[TheBackwoodLink]

@noone120000 Dane Cook isn't even in the same league as Carlin.

[MsCellolad]

@TheBackwoodLink Why? I agree with you, but I just want to articulate it. I don't know Dane Cook that well/

[TheBackwoodLink]

@MsCellolad Neither do I. I could never sit through his bit long enough. Like another post said "he is stupid funny" without the funny.

[SSJkiller]

@noone120000

George Carlin's an Einstein while Dane Cook is a wannabe smartass.

[Nitrinoxus]

@noone120000 He's kind of like Jim Carrey in that respect. You have to be able to tolerate a LOT of mugging, overacting and scenery-chewing to like either of them.

[akerswizard779]

SWEET TITS, IT'S SNOWING.

[VinnyVanYiffy]

exposure to moonlight makes cows explode

[TheDrunkenAtheist]

Joe bless all of us.

[flybyproxy]

George Carlin was absolutely hilarious... However, I've read some disturbing ideas grabbed from a brilliant comedy skit that I think completely abandon George's intentions with his act. Time is certainly real (not just a thought). If gravity is real, time is real. If light travels through space, it needs to do so in some time. Believe it or not, time is so weird that it even goes slower or faster based on how fast you are traveling. Time is as real as gravity, as real as distance.

[DaleSix66]

@flybyproxy Time may just be an illusion our minds conjure up in order for us to be able to effectively interact with, and experience the universe around us. Its a tricky one, as the thought of the exact "now" i.e. the "present" clashes with mathematics, another man made invention. With maths you cannot define the present as you could narrow it down indefinitely. This is incompatible with the human way of thought as it seems completely illogical but that is the case. Who knows? haha.

[leojciaccioii]

what show is this from?

[dcs290]

this shit is moving routh LOL

[Gamers772]

there are 38 retards in the world

[NTenseify]

This is deep, so real

[sockembopers12]

"Do you know what time it is?"

"Yes." *smiles*

Like a boss.

[evey35]

@Joshie102 It's called "comedy".

[AND1Z24]

@noone120000 if you dont put the extra day in eventually xmas will be in the summer

[kuriosity89]

@AND1Z24 Parts of the world already have Christmas in the summer. Ever had a Christmas where instead of wearing warm coats and scarves and shit, you wear shorts, flip flops and a Santa hat while you drink a (very very temporarily) cold beer, flip sausages over on the BBQ while not knowing if the sizzle you hear and smell is your food or your skin? Here in Australia we surely do.

Maybe not putting in the extra day would be good...Aussies would get Christmas in the winter for a change!

=D

[erad67]

@AND1Z24 Already is for half of the world.

[kaliche451]

look at them pants

[thefaketahare]

does he sound a little uhh, black, to anyone?

[SergeDude82]

7:10 my favorite part! haha

[dragon71422]

@noone120000 well time is made up in the first place so it really doesn't matter..

[saeidmomtahan]

Is it me or does he look like Russel Crow ??

[ExplodingSammich]

A jiffy is 1/100th of a second.

[Dubbz297]

@noone120000 Yeah but as the years add up, you eventually end up with snow in July :P

[majhamza]

the rotation of his hand at 4:37 and 4:50 isn't in the same direction of the rotation of a clock :D

[AssortedBullshit]

@majhamza Ya he is... Retard, lol jk, but ya he is..,.

[majhamza]

i've been standing on this line forever

he looks very fresh to me lol

[deddog]

was this show in St. Louis?

[rigo230997]

this is so true

[redcomic619]

I've actually never had anyone ask me for the time.

[musicandchips]

Philosophy at it's finest.

[KoInJoE]

I don't understand how this can have dislikes...?

[amerikaiscommunist]

did anyone hear him talk this shit 1 20 years ago? No you didn't. He did this shit at the end, but never mentioned Jews. He said Illuminati or secret societies, but never said Jews. This bastard was not some person who realized at the end thongs were screwed up. He always knew the Jews have screwed shit up, but if he ever said this he would have been finished. To say we are controlled, but not mention Jews is not being honest with anyone. I hate golf with a passion ban it!

[konkelberryfinn]

@amerikaiscommunist The fuck? He's still being honest. Spilling all of your thoughts is not lying. He is being as true as he is allowed to be and that is fine by me, then again this is television and he wanted to make money by doing what he loved. You cant just fuck around like you own the place

[corey6516]

A jiffy is 10^-330 of a second... :D

[redmr2na]

This isn't a couple of weeks these people are off, this is thousands of god damn years that are missing.

[has00786]

its mel gibson!

[DeadNorwegianBlue]

This is fucking mind blowing when you're on drugs

[gmctruck68]

what the fuck, I was enjoying mr. carlin and the video ends, 10:00 minutes of george carlin is not enough

[noone120000]

@gmctruck68 sorry, when I geet the chance i'll upload the other half of the skit on time. Youtube wont let me upload more then ten mins.

[gmctruck68]

@noone120000 its cool, thank you

[89Czeko]

@noone120000 Thanks for uploading, really love this man!!!

[MetalHound91]

@noone120000 You can now, might as well go ahead ahead and upload the rest.

[EasyExpertVillage]

@gmctruck68 get a wii, then netflix, then look up george carlin. it shows all of his concerts and they are all available

[zbowden2010]

@gmctruck68 71 years of George Carlin is not enough..

[cooltobtrue]

this guy is somewhat crazy... I LOVE HIM!!

[VictorRechnageL]

"This shit is moving, Ruth"

[TabuuIntense]

Time was an arrogant attempt by Man to control a part of their lives they literally have no control over.

[smaakjeks]

@TabuuIntense

No, it's a pragmatic measure of events that helps us keep track of ourselves. Nothing arrogant about it.

[W6S0A4]

he was smart... he wasn't wearing a watch.... thats kind of ironic

[alukkkard]

The first 10 mins of this vid are so philosophically profound, there are no ways to explain it.

[catfish420]

Genius.

[Lyra5]

He was great before he started ranting buuuuut is ranting cool to

[ModestConfidence]

take s the obvious and blows it out! Hilarious

[itwowed]

1:23 :)))

[migueleato]

1:28 UHUAHUAHUA lol

[chelilandia]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA SOONER IS LIKE BEFORE YOU KNOW...

[xbehemothx]

georges carlin was either a fully awaken god or a god hijacking in our reality.

[GhostLink92]

@xbehemothx Sheogorath?

[xbehemothx]

magic mushrooms added another dimension to this video.and this video added another dimension to magic mushrooms.

[carrolmchenryjr]

excellent "conversation" hypnosis

[irkofan]

"I'll be back before you can say, 'Jack Robinson!'."

"Jack Robinson! You're not back! Hehehehe!"

Oh . . . *sadface*

[rroobboo999]

most of these people are dead but we can watch them alive. that's the time. Video camera+Youtube=Timemachine!

[carbonseven1st]

@rroobboo999 i thought that a timemachine wud actually get me into another time period

[InsertName125]

@rroobboo999 You're right. Most people are dead.

[bodhidarma1]

Not to mention, once again, common sense. Old testament god and jesus are both god right? God couldve done anything to save humanity. He makes the rules. He chooses to sacrifice his own son in order to save those who believe in him when the vast majority of the world would never believe in him. Makes NO sense. Your ignorance to your own belief system is frustrating beyond belief. If I'm wrong I burn in hell. If you're wrong you're ignorant. I stay firm to my rationality. Hope that speaks to you

[bodhidarma1]

@onlyonesweetsuzy "DO NOT THINK THAT I HAVE COME TO ABOLISH THE LAW OR THE PROPHETS, I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them. I TELL YOU THAT NOT UNTIL HEAVEN AND EARTH DISAPPEAR not the least stroke of a pen will by any means disappear from the law. Anyone who breaks the least of these will be called least in the kingdom of heaven. for i tell you that unless your righteosness surpasses the pharissees and teachers of the law you will not enter the kingdom of heaven"

[bodhidarma1]

@onlyonesweetsuzy The bible also says the ABSOLUTE opposite thing about works in two different parts. In one of them JESUS himself NOT any apostle writing letters hundreds of years later SAYS unless you do the will of the father and obey the law you do not enter heaven. CLEARLY, jesus himself supposedly says that. What part of that do you not understand? And he may have made believing in jesus easy for some people but for other's it's impossible. They'll never do it. Ghandi included who burns?

[bodhidarma1]

@bodhidarma1 It's ridiculous. It's a book that says "Just believe and you'll go to heaven" AND "You can't get into heaven unless you also do such and such a thing" It's BULLSHIT. Only a Fool would believe it. PLEASE PLEASE youtube "bible contradictions quiz show" And have your bible out for reference. Regardless of the inner contradictions just use common sense. Would a loving god really create billions of men knowing they would not believe to burn in hell when he could just save them all?

[cyphersadoka]

@bodhidarma1 how did you get all this holy shit out of a stand up show about time?

[bodhidarma1]

@cyphersadoka I got into a debate with a Christian. I was citing Bible verses to demonstrate christians' willful ignorance of their own religion.

[Jojothegodofrandom]

HAIL SATAN

[bodhidarma1]

@onlyonesweetsuzy I want people to go to heaven too. That would be splendid. But there is NO universal salvation according to the Bible and that's why I don't accept it. According to the bible Ghandi would be burning Hell. That is why I call you a bigot. ghandi who did more for this world than you or I ever will never fully accepted Christ and neither do I. Such an upstanding man is justified by works. I was "born again" I thought I was saved. Then I read the bible and rejected its teachings.

[bodhidarma1]

@onlyonesweetsuzy so yeah go on feeling superior and saved but remember "not everyone who comes to me saying lord lord will enter the heaven. They will say didn't we PROPHESY and CAST DEMONS OUT IN YOUR NAME and i will say I never knew you, for they did not do the will of my father. And they will be cast out to where there is weeping and gnashing of teeth" So when you say lord, lord and he casts you out to hell, see if you can find me or George carlin to apologize for being so bigotted.

[bodhidarma1]

And what about the native americans who died never having heard of Jesus. Was salvation offered to them? What about generations and generations of Africans, Chinese who are reared as atheists, hindus who were reared as hindus. They all burn in hell according to your disgusting belief system because they don't hold your disgusting belief system in a disgusting man/god who would create a densely populated world knowing full well that tons of them would not believe in jesus then burn them forever.

[bodhidarma1]

@onlyonesweetsuzy Well what I referenced is the word of Jesus himself according to christians who believe the bible is the word of God. If you believe in Jesus then you'd surely believe what he said and what he said is the opposite of what you said. Matthew 7 21-23 & 5 17-20 He also says to give away all your possessions if you want to enter heaven. Please youtube bible quiz show contradictions and have your bible ready. God would never damn someone to hell over a BELIEF

[IAmBadatStarcraft]

@onlyonesweetsuzy Oh really? God's handbook for life, huh? What proof is there that God or Jesus ever existed? There is none - and no, faith is NOT proof.

[bodhidarma1]

@IAmBadatStarcraft I assumed you were a Christian because of your comment about Carlin being in Hell. Did you really have to ask that? Out of context sarcasm doesn't translate well online. And though "devout" CAN have a secular meaning is Primarily defined as a word with religious connotations. Not to mention that atheism is considered by many "devout" atheists to be a lack of belief and not a belief system. Can you say that someone is an avid Non-surfer? Theres no belief It's a default

[IAmBadatStarcraft]

@bodhidarma1 I didn't say anything about hell, I think you read the wrong comment =/.

[IAmBadatStarcraft]

@jeffrey42088 Eh, yeah, eventually it was, but I do believe that the stories were created originally just to explain things that they couldn't understand with their primitive science. Since the stories were actually believed by so many ignorant people, the church decided to use it for power and manipulation.

[skitzonacid]

wow this is fucking amazing!

[damnyoustamos]

This is a very appropriate video to call up, given that I just watched the new episode of Dr. Who.

[MileenasFloss]

So says the guy who got Bill & Ted time traveling. Lol

[deathb4design]

Forget every documentary about whether time exists.. Id rather watch George break that shit down. Hawking may be a super genius, but rapier wit? Give that to Carlin.

[nousername21]

Brilliant mind! Brilliant comedian!

[TheManiacalGamr]

was the smartest fucking guy that ever lived lol...do you have the time now? well surely you must mean then XD

[mprime2003]

this dude is a king.

[Krikthomer]

God needed a little laugh in Heaven. Carlin was and will ever be the Greatest Comedian and the Most intelligent of them all.

[IAmBadatStarcraft]

@Krikthomer Your comment is so unbelievably ironic, as Carlin was a devout Atheist.

[PlanckEpoch]

@IAmBadatStarcraft George Carlin believed in the Big Electron...Woah....Woah....

[bodhidarma1]

@IAmBadatStarcraft Your comment is so unbelievably ironic, as you're calling an atheist devout. And yeah, if you're serious about the Hell thing, why do you think Carlin is going to Hell? If you're a Jesus fanatic you might want to actually read the Bible. Jesus says not everyone who believes in him will get into heaven and many will be cast into hell. He's very specific about what you need to do, follow jewish law to the T (which no one does) and sell all your possessions. Enjoy Hell.

[IAmBadatStarcraft]

@bodhidarma1 Devout just means that you are devoted the things you believe in, it has no religious denotation by itself. Why the FUCK would you assume that I'm a Jesus fanatic? The bible is an archaic series of fictional stories assembled two thousand years ago to try to explain the phenomena that people didn't understand with their primitive "science". There is not a shred of evidence that God exists, nor is there a shred of evidence that Jesus ever lived. Open your eyes. Please.

[antisanta11]

@Krikthomer Don't think so. Carlin is in Hell!

[EasyExpertVillage]

if the time thing is made up then new years is a bunch of BS

[liqwiz]

George Carlin's ear becomes a skull at 6:12

[mikeric87]

he knows to much. the illuminati killed him...

[harriness]

@mikeric87 he was very very very old...... i don't think ANYTHING but natural causes would have killed that legend

[mikeric87]

@harriness ok smarty pants. was just a joke. ;)

[TDP788]

You can see how he inspired Louis CK

[sammysnakejones]

lifes a freak show, george carlin is its best narrator

[ff7masta]

@sammysnakejones He also narrated "Thomas the Tank Engine".

[spacerat17]

there is a moment coming

it's not here yet

still on the way, it's in the future

it hasn't arrived

here it comes

HERE IT IS

shit it's gone

[pravkdey]

looks like Chuck Norris O.o

awesome...

[ewotha2]

@pravkdey dont fuc with chuck noris fgt

[OnlyTheTruth]

I didn't know Carlin was this good looking :-)

[leftyspade]

It's called intelligence. Not many of us use it. Brilliant? I think so.

[Jauull]

Russell Crowe

[2Dement3D]

I like how it says 1978 in the title for THIS video.

[kratosgranola1]

@2Dement3D different uploader, smart one.

[2Dement3D]

@kratosgranola1 hm?

[rageofreason]

Making people aware of their ridiculous perceptions in their tiny worthless depressing little lives.

[Bruinboi16]

why does the sound go away after i unpause it or fast forward it?

[Ryanxxxxxxxxxxx720]

such a deep thinker he was

[icedteaburst]

i want that official time keeper shirt!!

[Gabrielul7]

Genial!

[Czeckie]

poetry

[rainstormseattle]

George Carlin and Bill Hicks = Best two philosophers, thinkers, and comedians we've ever been given.

[rainstormseattle]

"Only a ride..." --Bill Hicks

[amnesia529]

haaahahahha !!!

[MrGuph]

lol i was born feb 29

[1968DodgePolara]

@MrGuph Were you born on a Leap year .....:P Duh  LMAO

[ExamineTheHorizon]

04:03 In Soviet Russia Time tells you!

[marobra00]

cocaine

[swordcollection]

4:28- And I tought that I was the only one notising

[hilliuno]

george had a great voice

[STNKbone]

"This shit is moving Ruth."