Added: 11 months ago
From: meghantonjes
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  • (irrelevant by now) Keep your heart open. You never know who will be the one. There are only 2 guys to rule out. And they aren't musicians and guys waiting on the prom queen. It's the already marrieds and the hitters. Everyone else is fair game and could be awesome. There seriously are guys of all shapes and sizes that are looking for someone just like you.

  • As much as I adore Xander I'll have to say Spike is more of my guy... Not because he's the "bad guy" but because when he cared about Buffy he REALLY cared! ... Also because he's the "bad guy" -I really can't help myself :p

    Amazing video, how silly of me to have just found it now...

  • This video nearly brought me to tears. It explains everything. You're beautiful!

  • I could of said this video word for word like you did. I have been living in a fantasy world for this one guy since I was 15. I date but it never works out bc of fantasy guy. I always say that if maybe MAYBE if I lose about 40lbs then he would date me. He talks to me about everything and like you I've become the "emotional gf" I want him to love me for me which I think he does but he is too worried about everyone elses thoughts about it.

    Thank you

  • You literally just described my life

  • Girl, I feel you 100%.

    I am a curvy girl and guys always tell me OH, you are so sweet, OH, you are so talented, OH, you are so awesome. But they would never ask me on a date just because of my body type. It is so sad that women like us get passed over for the skinny, good looking bimbo. Keep you head up! One day you will find someone totally deserving of you! I adore you and you are definitely one of my idols. Michigan girls FTW!

  • Tonjes clean your room its dirty lol

  • I've been working on getting over the "boys don't like me because I'm fat" thing. I'd like to think that if someone likes me they'll deal with my weight. Because I'm like you with liking people for their personality. That's just how I've always thought about people. I can't even imagine relationships very well, because no one's even taken enough notice to ask me on a date in my 21 years of living, but I get the mourning of what didn't happen thing. More and more I wish we were really friends. :D

  • I like Xander types too. Or Angel...mmm Angel.

    

  • ok.. now i truely think i'm going to get addicted to your vlogs after this one!

  • I love me some curves....

  • i think like half of the relationship took place in my head sometimes. that sounded incredibly creepy. i swear, its not how i meant it.

  • @WICKDZEBRA LOL I know what you meant, I sometimes do that too.....

  • I really feel you on this one ^_^ I can completely relate.

  • Very true on many levels. You are not alone on meeting them boys and them boys not meeting you eye to eye due to physicality's. We have so much to offer into their little worlds. They're too chicken shit to handle reality...

  • You complain yet I've insisted you can't avoid someone vying for your attention then believably complain in your vlogs.

  • @kodakZX1 ...what does that even mean? :-p

  • @meghantonjes You've got mail.

  • This was a great video. I think everyone who watches this will appreciate this. But this video taught me a lot , cause I'm in the whole " mourning " stage , and it's been almost a month since I lost my " world " that I pictured with a special someone , and I think I'm going to do what you said . I'm going to recalibrate myself and move on (Y). so thank you :) .

  • "Imagining the future is a kind of nostalgia."

  • Do a Monica...

  • You look like pedophile bait.

  • I absolutely PROMISE you that one day you'll find someone. Maybe I'm just silly and maybe what happened to me is rare, or maybe it will just disappear one day and I'll be left feeling just like you, but. Well, I'm big too. I'm twice the size a girl my height should be. However, two years ago, met a boy online. We talked for a year on and off and I asked for his number. We actually hooked up. I'm in Vegas, he's in Texas, and we've been together for 2 years (in 6 days, that is). Don't give up. (h)

  • @frickitydickity Er. Three years ago, I met a boy online.***

  • LOVING THE WORD CHOICE "recalibrate" i totally get you!!

  • My.life.story.

  • Great video! I totally agree with your theory :)

  • You're not a size 2? What?! I never noticed that! <3

  • HOLY FUCK. You just read my mind.

  • You are so right!

  • you rock so hard.

  • This is a shame, because you're an beautiful woman. If "boys" can't see that, then then that is their loss. One day, you will find the right guy, believe that. Because it's true.

  • WOMAN! You are my soul mate, I swear to god, everything you just said has come out of my mouth, possibly just in that order.

  • I DO have to mourn the loss of that world. You're so right. Thumbs up.

  • I LOVE THIS! I felt like you were me speaking on camera. You WILL find someone who loves you for you and he will be worth going through all the duds to find. :)

  • Thanks SO much for this.

  • Now I see why you wrote that part in "This Year." :)

  • ah you totally understand what im feeling!

    

  • why aren't we friends? you're awesome

  • You have such a good head on your shoulders!

  • this. is my life.

    thank you.

  • The still image of the video with the title reminded me of Lauren Zices and her song "Boys like me" in glee a few weeks ago lol

  • Amen.

  • agreed :)

  • Great video

  • i totally agree!

  • i feel like you're my kindred spirit.

  • Thank you, I know exactly how you feel.. I thought I was going bonkers whenever guys would avoid me or treat me differently then other 'thinner' girls. When I lost 40 pounds it all changed and they started noticing me more and it was really weird because these were guys that I've known for years... so yes, unfortunately they've proved it to me (and themselves) that they're hypocrites, and uncomfortable with bigger girls. Good thing I don't need someone to be happy! :)

  • I LOVE YOU SO MUCH FOR THE BUFFY REFERENCE.

  • Oh Meghan...this video perfectly describes my experiences with boys! And I definitely do the projecting when it comes to a guy I like.

  • (8) If he could take my heart now, he'd put it right in her chest. Thinking he'd have a girl he finally could love best.

    Boys are imbeciles.

  • you're amazing. you're so right.

  • yup mourning right now haha 

  • I would totally date you but alas, you're female. Now if you came in a male version? I would totally touch you inappropriately. A lot. 

  • @whatifyable She doesn't need to be male for me to want to touch her inappropriately.

  • i love the buffy reference! totally got it!

    whoever snaps you up is gonna be one lucky dude!!!

  • I love you. Mourning that created world- the perfect description to what we need to go through to move on. <3

  • Oh my god, I love you for this Whedonverse throwdown.

  • i wanna make love to u

  • Meghan Tonjes, I wish I had this video about 6 months ago. It would've saved me from a lot of heartbreak. But now, I'm going to keep it close-by to remind myself in my current situation. So, I guess it did come at a great time. Thanks, girl!

  • I agree with you: if you like someone's personality, that person becomes attractive and even looks attractive to you. I think this happens with everybody. I think the reason why a lot of guys don't ask big girls out is because your girlfriend is also some kind of status symbol and they all want the mercedes - not because it's better or has any attributes they need but because it makes a good impression to have one. I think that's a much bigger issue than boys not being attracted to big girls

  • I responded to basically everything you said in this video with a resounding 'amen'! Its always my best friends who break my heart, and usually they have nooooo idea. Also, I totally have a crush on Xander :)

  • Thanks for posting this Meghan... I'm "that girl" too. BTVS holla!

  • ahhhh you speak truth! i am always the best friend and never the girlfriend! one day, sigh.

  • You just explained my life in 5 minutes.

  • Not all boys are shallow and stupid forever, I promise you. YOU ROCK. Also, your Michigan accent makes me incredibly happy.

  • I like boys too.

  • When I have a crush on someone...I wonder what it would be like to wear their skin.

  • I think you explained the whole disappointment of a relationship not working out perfectly haha I never really thought about it but for me, I do look into the possible future WAY to often and am always sad when it never plays out like I imagined. *sigh* One day hopefully it will.

    Thanks Meghan, I needed this vid :]

  • I love you, and I feel this entire vlog.

  • Can you take the camera outside? You are in the friend zone. Check out this video:

    watch?v=fAVRNA1l1wM

  • You're such a sweet girl. And adorable in pigtails!

  • <3....

  • If you wouldn't be on the other side of the world, I'd be all over you! You know, bf style ;)

    <3

  • Hee hee, I liked this video :) You seem nice. +1 subscriber for you, Miss!

  • As always well worded and insightful. I very much enjoy your music and extremely enjoy hearing your views and opinions. : )

  • No joke, I tell people the exact same thing. And I always go for the Xander. Someday they'll stop looking at the prom queen. And boy, the Xander's are gonna smack themselves in the face for not seeing the super hot chicks that were right there the whole time :)

  • wtf did i just watch ?

  • and shortly after i did my first post i hear you say michigan... holly shit i'm in michigan too! lolol. and the whole planning and getting lost in the future is exactly what happens to me everytime!

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  • your gorgeous, wth, you just need to stop playing these games hun and jump the fence, i am waiting haha , ;) i have to best idea ever, let's get 100 condoms and use them all and if you get preggo  then we are meant to be, ;)

  • mourning a world... that's v poetic

  • yay! finally a girl that likes nice guys! so there's hope for me after all! lolol

  • ahhhh Buffy. *rubs nips*

  • whoa ur fat

  • @DaBossk whoa you must be in middle school

  • @Loves2Sing86 nah college. r u severly obese too?

  • @DaBossk yep. but i'd rather be fat than be a judgmental jackass.

  • @Loves2Sing86 i wasn't judging you.... :\

    just saying your a fat fuck. thats all good tho. please commit suicide. and quickly!

  • @DaBossk lol k, i'm gonna go kill myself cuz some kid on the internetz wants me to.

  • @Loves2Sing86 okay lol you were the one that made the fucking retarded ass reply.

  • @DaBossk you're really in no position to point fingers at people who are making retarded comments..

  • @DaBossk What is it thats happened in your life that makes you so angry, crude, and stupidly arrogant? What precedence is there for malecious ignorance? Dont try to bring pain to others because you somehow feel meager and inadequate. Keep your childish taunts and slander to yourself. One day your going to find yourself broken and alone and you wont even have a decent mans pity to languish and rue.

  • @MrYurtleTurtle

    well..... fat people just piss me off. i'm not ignorant about anything i have replied to you with so shut your chilly hole.

  • You are the ONLY girl I know in their twenties that is GORGEOUS and when you wear pigtails, you don't look like a whore.

  • SOML

  • You are one of the most inspirational women. I totally agree with everything you said. I wish you the best of luck, because you seem to be one of the most amazing people.

  • Hey fat chicks, i've got a pudding pop in my pants. Wanna lick it?

  • Oh God...You described me. I've always been the best friend...and that sucks really bad after a while. But now, I have a boyfriend and, guess what? Two other boys who like me! And my body hasn't changed...I'm still the chubby girl I've always been! So, I think that there are lots of boys who like you out there...you just have to recognize them ;D You're awesome!! Don't ever change!!

  • To be honest, your prettier than the "prettiest" girls in my school. Your gorgeous, you are! :) <3 I love how you have so much self-confience, i wish i had that.

  • It sounds terrible, but I honestly I'm too tired to even try now. Guys are way to comfortable with just being friends with the fat girls. Have you ever seen "America's Sweethearts"? If so, you know what I'm talking about. John Cusak is an ass to Julia Roberts.

    And as far as you going after Xander, it sort of sounds like you're Williow in the first couple seasons of Buffy. Just remember that there is an Oz out there! *huggles*

  • omg soooo true, and yeah it is nice to give yourself permission to mourn a loss of any kind, so often that we dont, and then wonder why things just go dominos on us after it.

  • Totally been there... not with the whole size but bc of my disability. Always the GREAT friend NEVER the Girlfriend b/c all were afraid what others would think of bc he (insert name ^-^) was with me. Dealt with that forever. NOW, I am with a man who is unlike any other <3 - 5 years in july-... girl, your day will come. Some WORTHY guy will see you for all the beauty you possess and never let you go either!! AWESOME Vlog!

  • Girlfriend, you are beautiful. =]

  • You need to move to the South. Curves are much appreciated here :)

  • I never really got the Spike obsession. I know he's like this bad boy and all but still...

  • Well, you look cute :) lol

  • But how do you mourn when the person you ave a crush on is one of your best friends? The promise of that world you create inside your head is always there, sort of, anyway.

    I really liked your video, Meghan. It reminds me that I am not alone, that I am not crazy for having crushes.

  • boys dont like you

  • Yay I'm not crazy! Is the same way for me, I imagine scenerios that never happened. But then for me the guys I tend to have a crush on always want something from me and when they find out I don't put out the whole relationship stops, or I find out they have a girlfriend.

  • If I was a man, I'd make my move.

  • i love your videos! and what you went through, having someone be attracted to you emotionally but not physically is something ive gone through as well and ive become jaded because of it. i dont even bother with relationships and i see love as something that i'll never attain just because im scared to get emotionally attached to someone who cant accept me 100% i hope that i can soon find comfort in who i am and find happiness :)

  • yaya

  • Frickin amazing Joss Whedon reference...Double super ultra mega brownie points!! <3. Someone made the WIllow comment that I was thinking in my head, cheers for that! I completely understand those feelings! I'm always the girl the guys come to for advice on how to get the girl...the girl...not being me...*sigh* lol

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  • I'm not a size 2 either (or a size 6... or any other size that people think is a "desirable" size) and this whole thing where I am allowed to be happy and sexy and confident and have a REAL boyfriend, not just someone that I like and then exaggerate in my head to be someone I want them to be, has taken me a long time to accept. it's still a work in progress, but it is MUCH better than it use to be! :D

    Mourners of unrealistic relationships UNITE! <3

  • we are the same person in this regard!!!

  • Key term you used: boys. BOYS. Women, you need MEN.

  • @BasiaMarie

    You're 25...speaking on averages, you aren't a man. You may be different, but I doubt it.

  • I just have to say that I love your videos :) You sometimes say what I am thinking but don't know how to put into words ^_^

  • hhahaa yaayy buffy reference!

  • I really like this :) Good job, btw you are pretty. <3

  • This is so my life right now...like everything you said...it is almost ridiculous how spot on it is.

    P.S. I am going to see you at Digitour in Grand Rapids and every time I see one of your songs or any vlog I get really excited because you are just so amazing. Keep on being awesome and inspirational!

  • Story of my life. I'm always the chubby girl best friend, they wanna call me, and hang out with me, they call me sexy and pretty but I know they joking in the way they say it. I'm so glad you posted this video Meghan, cause I'm the EXACT same way. I start to like this guy then its like a goddamn Taylor Swift video, I can see us going on dates and getting engaged, dancing in the kitchen of our new house. Its ridiculous. But I never thought about the mourning kinda thing...I love you Meghan. :]

  • It especially sucks when you've invested years in a friendship with this person..i mean YEARS...and then it crashes and they stop talking to you all together. UGHH WTF LIFE!

  • I love the chubby chick Meghantonjes :) Unfortunately, many are so defensive, I don't get too far :(

    PS Love Buffy too.

  • I love everything that you said :). And I think I need to mourn a little as well..

    I like you. Subscribing :D

  • :3 <3

  • you do create a whole world and then it does crumble apart and then you have to mourn it.......................check check check.

  • UUUgg! This is so me! I'm the girl that accidentally teaches boys how to be good boyfriends...for other people :p

  • I'm so that girl. WTF Boys?! Stop sending mixed signals or I'll punch you in the balls!!!! I'm never gonna be a skinny bitch. Your'e beautiful Megan. If I was a boy, I'd totally touch you inappropriately.

  • Meghan I wish I had all of this knowledge when I was like 16.

    Is it bad that I am proud of the fact that I got your Buffy reference?

  • I'd love to sit down with you and talk to you for hours about life! :)

  • I love the Xander types. I'd first fall for the Angel, then the Riley, but at the end of the day it's Xander lol.

  • This is so true. I tend to live in those worlds of hopes and dreams when it comes to guys. I think that is mostly why it is so hard to get over them. We want to stay in those worlds where it is cozy and happy. Our la la lands as I like to call them.

  • I agree, esspically about the mourning the crush thing. It honestly is the truth. Because it honestly helps. I've done that before once and I honestly could breathe right again it really helped.

  • I love how amazing you are. You've just described me to the T. We are like the same person. It's so comforting to me to know that I'm not crazy.

    And @leesadee15, me too.

  • Ugh I have been told that I would be the perfect girlfriend if only i wasn't so fat!

    I am tired of this!

  • @leesadee15 I hear ya girl :(

  • You're the Willow, season 2...

  • @LaNinaBeana oh god, I am.

  • @meghantonjes Uhh yes please. Because that would make you turn gay rather soon.

  • @LaNinaBeana I was just going to make that same observation, lol.

  • @LaNinaBeana More like Willow Season 1 'Welcome to the Hellmouth' to Season 2 'Innocence'. Yes, I'm a TOTAL nerd.

  • I was always one of the bros. Still am. But I found a boy that was all idgaf if you're bigger. And now I'm happy. But I tend to gravitate toward boys who will be my friend and I was never sure how to bridge that gap. How do I portray myself as someone available to them? It was rough.

  • Agree with all that was said. Fat chick best friend--a role I know so well.

  • I think, i really needed to see this. thanks meg

  • Also hell, you should look for some guys ere in Missouri. Most men out here prefer full figured girls and will not be seen with a size two.

  • its hard to hear "just accept the heart ache" and take time to reflect and get situated again. but it is very valuable advice. thanks for posting!

  • wow you read my heart and you spoke my words. Everything you said was true and the truth sat me free. Thank you Meghan, you have made a bigger impact on my life than you can ever imagine

  • "cuz i'm sometimes a girl..." I can relate there. :/

  • @karaseen Same here. I hate when people give me odd looks when I wanna be a girl sometimes. It sucks to be the kind of girl whos normally a tom-boy then when you go even an ounce girl they freak out. Its a tad bit painful.

  • @Padfoot74 Defiitely. Furthermore it throws me off sometimes when people treat me like a girl like opening a door. I get reminded in a way.. oh yea, i'm a chick hahaha! Just a self reliant one

  • @karaseen Oh yea definatly! And saddly guys don't tend to date those kinds of girls really, which is sad cause wouldn't you think they'd want a girl that can hang out with them and do more of their kinds of things instead of draging them shopping all the time XD

  • Cam we go out! I LOVE U!!! <3 <3

  • meghan, take all of this including the flirting and stuff, and then try to figure out if the boy is straight or not. it sucks so much. going through that right now. :(

  • Meghan, you are a genius. I'm a guy and I have those same problems with women. I've been told that my size was the only thing stopping a relationship on countless occasions, so I just walked away and looked (and am still looking) for the girl to want all of me and not just my personality. Keep up the good work and know you're helping EVERYBODY realize who they truly can be if they strive for it.

  • I love you.

  • @ApprenticeA the feeling is mutual, sir. :)

  • Meghan...I feel you..Omg..I feel you. LOL I am so 100% that girl that creates that world with someone before we're even together and when it doesn't work...it crushes me lol

  • I completely know where you're coming from - I'm that girl who projects :( For better or worse it is what it is right? :)

  • Great insight. if you need more nails to paint....call me ;) I've never painted my nails actually... 

  • I too am "lifesize" and I agree it's hard finding someone. Like you when I found someone lines became blurred and whatever could of been morphed into a full-blown friendship. Sometimes I just felt like "I don't want a friend, I don't want to be YOUR friend". It's like a knife in the chest. Don't worry or wait around Meghan, it happened for me eventually (found a great guy who loves and honestly doesn't give a fuck if I'm big or small) - you will get that too. Everyone does. X

  • This video could not have come at a more relevant time in my life.

    THANK YOU! <3

  • I had a huuuuuuuge crush on Xander in high school. I know how you feel!

  • Just keep on, Meghan. When it's right it will happen. I know that sound fucking lame and cliche, but you are doing the right things, keep working on being a complete person, as you said, and bam. It will be there.

  • insightful video is insightful :D

  • By reading the title I was expecting you would be dancing to the "I like Boys" song from Teen Witch.

    Your take on relationships is totally like mine. You wanna go out with me? Get the whole package.

    And Meghan, I totally <3 you.

  • @Yabluke16 oh man, i totally love that movie! used to watch it whenever it came on tv. TOP THAT~