Harry Enfield - The Conjugal Rights Guide

[OldSchoolRasslin]

Look how big Britain is on the globe right at the beginning!

[wwwtotalitaerde]

The German BND,which is the renamed 3rd Reich GESTAPO,knew about Leeds several days before the explosions

Germany still is the same Nazi country.My brother Markus Bott had been tortured during five and a half years by the BND.Because of our homepage linked on my channel.I recorded more than 450 hours of evidence on video.This videos ended up in the legal system.The BND continued to torture my brother for 1.5years under the cover of the"legal system".Markus Bott was murdered by the BND on 11.7.09

[isg1997]

"the lower orders are far more beastly and uncouth" ????

[Coffeevaccine]

that's how they do it in 2012, without producing an offspring.

[krayzeejojo]

I almost shit myself when I heard "Has the train arrived in Paddington yet?" XD

[runedscope]

Honestly if it wasn't for the laugh track some people wouldn't understand that its a comedy.

[FosterZygote]

Brilliant! I laughed so hard I nearly passed out.

[JFredUK]

Has the train arrived in Paddington, yet?

[Hysteria98]

"MOST INVIGORATINGGG!!"

pfffft, HAH!

[oilyhakan]

OHH ENCYCLOPIDEA DRAMTICA I LOVE YOU XD

[tomservo56954]

"If this is your first attempt at beastliness, you may have trouble uniting your unmentionables"

[alshabam]

my sex ed teacher sent me here ;p

[Slrosser21]

Dennis deyoung

[mellenbow]

Priceless! LMAO

[JamesWaton]

I live in colchester :'(

[carpeinfinitum]

The Tenor sent me here! :D

[yasminx16]

orfspring 

[kooga61]

This is for Sam......and Julie. x

[charisma343]

"has the train arrived in paddington yet?" LOLLLL

[H4554nX0rZ]

British humour at its best!

[eat1991]

good show



[supertom85]

39 people can only maintain a stiff upper lip

[CosmoxYRik]

Well that's changed my feelings on Colchester.

[pika23]

This group is almost on on par with Monty Python! I have seen a few of the videos today after finding one about the woman catching a husband, on a blog about Orthodox Jewish dating, of all places.

[apocavis]

"High class British porn" - Peter Griffin

[mrsthursday]

@apocavis Steady, old chap.

[9898983]

whats the bit of music right at 0:00

[flyingspacepotatoes]

@9898983 the toy by tickets

[freshdamon]

39 people have never taken Peter Rabbit to meet their Mrs tiggy winckle...

shame in a way

[mp4401]

my uncle raped me

[tybash]

@mp4401

did you enjoy it? does your anus hurt?

[23021955]

@tybash

Oh, that's quite all right, dear...

[golyg]

So? Colchester is the Asshole of G.B.?

[Idnarmadur]

What would we do without British comedy? ^^

[KynkoKytsumi]

most invigorating!

[golyg]

I need a stiff drink to get on with the ugliness at hand

[hargohargo2]

whos the bloke who is in these old clips with enfelid?

[KynkoKytsumi]

@hargohargo2

Guy playing Mr. Cholmondley-Warner is Jon Glover

[bshieldsbb01]

WTF

I clicked on the porno thumbnail on the YouTube homepage and it came here?!!

[goodyear2602]

How to maintain not only a stiff upper lip

My favourite!!

[Silkie341]

This is how the middle classes in England have sex the lower orders are far more beastly and uncouth. Nobody has quite figured out how the upper classes procreate so it remains one of great unsolved mysteries.

[DeHerg]

@Silkie341 "how the upper classes procreate so it remains one of great unsolved mysteries" lots and lots of heavily overpriced liquor (usually some decade(if not century) old kind of brandy)

[tomservo56954]

@Silkie341 Somehow, William and Kate figured it out...

[Myndir]

@Silkie341 They reproduce asexually through separation. That is the only explanation for the low diversity of their gene pool.

...

Isn't it? :O

[SimonB198207]

@Silkie341 It's that the upper classesz are the most frightful hypocrites - they lead the way in being the most depraved, the most perverted and the most immoral. The stuff they do - you ever heard how dirty posh girls are?

And every year, the gypsies visit the area near the grounds of the local manor house, his lordship goes down to chastise them... and a year later they're back and one or more of the girls has a bouncing little baby that bears more than a passing resemblence....

[MrJudas666666]

this is how english people have sex

[claysuicide]

these videos are amazing. hilarious.

[vide0viwer]

I learned so much from this video!

[sadtechie]

Hahaha! Conjugal unpleasantness! :-))

[GordonFreeMANness]

He has prodded that bitch twice in the ass. How come does she have babies then? 

[briefboyz]

It profit a woman nothing to sell her sex for a husband but for a potato?

[Robmwe]

illiustrate

[fordlandau]

Duchess of Arbroath without a hat on ...

[Hrolfgartheviking]

@fordlandau MOST STIMULATING

[whowantsabighug]

This is a perfect example of what horrid ways a modern invention like the gift of the international net can go unspeakably wrong, such unsightly images should never been seen by a gentleman OR lady.

[Myndir]

@whowantsabighug OR labrador.

[britcat84]

Most stimulating indeed!

[chichitoo100]

Nearly choked just now, DON'T EAT WHILE YOU WATCH THIS, too funny for words.

[Ambicatus]

I should think that an arrival in Colchester might cause a dislocation. Definitely not invigorating.

[queensofia123]

orfspring

[goatshredder]

How to HRRRAF in the poorer countries of the world on the cheap. At least that hasn't changed.

[UnluckyAmulet]

Most invigorating!! :O

[belladeballe]

Conjugal relations are awful...but SEX is awesome! :)

[MrLuvlyJubly]

I'm going to write a stern letter to Mary Whitehouse in disgust of this display of unsightly, course and unnecessary copulation! Ohh will someone save the Empire!

[TFSmytheQJM]

Most useful and informative. I relish the public information films. Perhaps we should have these translated into the languages spoken in the foreign places like perhaps Watford for the education of the populations there?

[theHatchett1]

How to maintain..... not only a stiff upper lip! LOL classic!

[soaponaroapDG]

is that paul whitehouse as.... :\ the tall slick haired guy?

[thebritish25]

@soaponaroapDG No thats not Paul whitehouse Im not sure who it is but its deffinatley not Paul Whitehouse.

[slacknhash]

@thebritish25 It's Jon Glover.

[MKShaggy1985]

Still funny.

[SpawtAwnProductions]

Has the train arrived in Paddington LOL!

[Rachiejane1]

I used to watch this as a child - didn't know what I was laughing at. Absolutely hilarious

[chuckiejay]

Having been spoiled by years of watching Monty Python's Flying Circus, I have to say that Harry Enfield is only slightly amusing.

[zenzombie72]

@chuckiejay Having been constantly told how brilliant Monty Python was, after watching all 4 series for the first time recently, I was massively disappointed. I've probably been spoiled by first watching everything that Python influenced.

[ScaperSteph]

LOL

[ampthilluk]

lol i live in bedfordshire

[Lupitamihita]

How is this kind of filth allowed? Ha!

[9898983]

what is the tune at the begining

[Neutrinoghost]

Colchester is to the East of Paddington...she needs to see a doctor.

[HunsV]

amazing

[FFulmenTheFinnish]

Hilarious.

[Commentarian1]

Indeed, conjugal unpleasantness!

[kleinundleise]

MOST INVIGORATING

[anxresi]

This video is obviously satire, but I think that sex does sound like an unusual and disgusting thing. Why bother putting your thinymabob inside a lady's you know that and jumping up and down until a strange sticky fluid comes out? Sounds like the height of boredom to me. Give me a decent film to watch or a good computer game to play anyday!! And if you REALLY want babies, adopt!! Save you from walking around with a horrible bulge in your stomach for months too!!

[pogularocky]

@anxresi

u r either lesbian or molested as a child.

[anxresi]

@pogularocky Or I was just joking ;)

[pogularocky]

@anxresi

lol... :) Looks like you have the sarcasm of Harry Enfield.

[intigfx]

@pogularocky The manner in which you have shown in just a few words that you have neither humour nor understanding of homosexuality is most spectacular, if I may be so bold as to say so.

[pogularocky]

@intigfx

1. Why r u more worried about what I said than the person it was directed to?

2. Are you expecting some sort of an explanation or apology from me?

3. What "manner" are you talking about anyway? Merely expressing a doubt over someone's sexual orientation does not amount to demeaning the person or his/her sexuality.

4. Looks like the original recipient of my comments had a better sense of humor compared to you.

[intigfx]

@pogularocky Number 3 is the only item worth responding to, so:

3. Equating being lesbian to having been molested as a child is indeed demeaning; it's not funny at all and it just shows your crass prejudice. That said, it's just a youtube comment on a Harry Enfield video; no point in debating so you may have the last word.

[pogularocky]

@intigfx

hahahaha... If you really thought so, you should not have written to me at all in the first place. Now that you did respond, it only shows that you are just running away from a losing fight.

By the way, just because I used the words 'lesbian' and 'molested' in the same sentence, it does not add up to an 'equation'. I used 'or' which clarifies the distinction I give between the two.

You should take English classes, if this is how terrible your understanding of the language is!

[tecdessus]

up the wooden hill to bedfordshire, my grandfather used to say that!

[iluhsdoh]

I love these videos. Could anybody tell me what the name of the show harry Enfield did, that these appear on? Or if there is a DVD with all of them on it. Thanks for any help.

[grahamkeithtodd]

@iluhsdoh try Harry Endfile and friends... i think it's available to buy from the BBC!

[KingCharlesI]

"Heere's a photograph of the Duchess of Arbroath without a hat oorn"

"MOost INVIGORATING!"

[Thebritishgent]

Jolly good fun! Reminds me of my goodself as a youngster!

[SPARKULES]

how to mantain not only a stiff upper lip

hahahahahah

[TheSpankymonkey]

Has the train arrived in paddington yet? hehehe

[rageorge1]

@TheSpankymonkey No am afraid it is at colchester ;-)

[edinscot56789]

The act of frightfulness LOL!

[FlaviaR]

"Is it time for Peter Rabbit & Mrs. Tiggywinkle to go up the garden path to Bedfordshire?" My, how could ANY woman resist such a HOT STUD!? ROTFLOL!!!

[Radean1]

AHA! So this is where Stewie Griffin's image came from!

[IIlIlIlIlIlIl]

???

[DreamsofCentaurs]

LOL show this to kids and they will never have sex

[nicksixxx]

"No. I'm afraid it's in Colchester. Ouch!"

[Drumspiracy]

"Has the train arrived in Paddington yet?"

[helpthepoorstruggler]

Be sure to take note televisual viewers! We wouldn't want any conjugal unpleasantries occurring now would we? Remember to maintain not only a stiff upper-lip!

[Changer01]

The socket, LOOOOL

[LumiereJones]

That video was fantastic XD

Amnd it's not an old video? They did a good job making it look like one!

[The1962driftingaway]

Women in The Poorer Countries will clear their throat for a potato? Most Shocking!

[harisisunique]

very nice..

[belsizebiz]

You don't core a potato, don't be so silly. You're thinking apples.

[GetVictd]

What was that last thing "Core a Potato" ?

[nathanielf2]

A woman wil achachachem for a potato.

[JRKDeSimone]

FOR a potato, nor core.

[smaakjeks]

@GetVictd

No, they *clears throat* for a potato.

[p0llenp0ny]

For a potato.

[grako76]

brilliance!!!!

[redneyKANE1]

"How to maintain not only a stiff upper lip"!!! HA HA

[DanRaccoon]

"Has the train arrived in Paddington yet?"

[fracturedfist]

@DanRaccoon no im afraid its in culchester outch!!!!

[ca1977a]

@fracturedfist I've lived in Colchester - "ouch" indeed! :-)

[Dancingartichoke]

2:54 is just fab!

[ukadamwest]

Get a season ticket...

[BumbleBeeInABluebell]

Crying with laughter here! Thanks for this!

[Jarv1s]

"At your first attempt at beastliness, you may have some difficulty uniting your unmentionables.." LMAO. Hilarious!!!

[patlfdunn101]

.....in order to produce orf-spring."

[rdor011]

A ghastly subject dealt with in the best taste possible, considering.

[YeOldBuccaneer]

Hopefully british scientists will soon invent a more decent and pallatable way to populate the Empire. I long for the day when upstanding ladies and gentlemen no longer have to indulge in such horrid acts of sordid and beastly frightfulness!

[BumbleBeeInABluebell]

and when the train no longer arrives in Colchester by mistake!

[swcoast]

...but all the way up north instead :-P

[BumbleBeeInABluebell]

Oh, I bet he'd have to change at Paddington.

[HighPriestess10]

@YeOldBuccaneer Indeed, such a frightful ordeal and in this case, not for the woman! Think of the irrepairable damage that poor Mr. Grayson has exacted upon his liver in order to execute this heinous task of impregnating his lady wife!! It is perhaps little wonder that he doth wear spectacles when one considers the rather dangerous apparatus that Mrs Grayson does adorn her barnet with haha!! ;)

[Malfinnien]

The best Enfield sketch ever!

[mattyabsley]

I love this one... I use these lines all the time with the lady. She slaps me too...

[antiann52]

This is hilarious! I love it.

[mikeyfazed]

MOST INVIGORATING!!!

[mlonde78]

"Has the train arrived at Padington?"

"No ..... its in Colchester?"

[paulsnurse]

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha­ha

[Baden98]

Mrs Grayson,Phwoar!!

[sadisticlolita]

Finally, a straight-up guide that explains everything you need to know!

[fordlandau]

in order to produce :

ORFSPRING

[84kjkos]

"The whole business of conjugal activity is sordid and frightful, but it is at least short." xD

[karisatan]

most invigorating!

[zebokat1]

Perfect for the Southern Baptist Convention.

[CrazyChitTV]

yes but at least the baptists are heterosexual

[KJS72]

This is like the education I got in high school.

Except not quite as detailed.

[DavidBIGdArruda]

MOST INVIGORATING!!!!!! XD

[ashworth19matt]

"the act of frightfulness itself"!!

[ghanamuscle2000]

"Where the women will [ahem] for a potato." Fantastic!!

[johngreen120]

'not only a stiff upper lip' haha

[hillcrestuk]

The more foreign minded of you.... wonderful!

[Foxeferry]

Ahahaha! I love when he shouts "MOST INVIGORATING!" at 2:15

[BringsTheNight]

Can anyone tell me what they're saying between 1:35-1:40?

[dylantuzyk]

"Happy, darling?"

"Yes, darling."

"Splendid."

[DJfraz07]

Ah.... this is the type of sex education they should be teaching teenagers in high school =]

[nederland4045]

Finally TV I understand!

[fordlandau]

Brilliant and hysterically funny..the accents and look of the film are straight from the 40s and 50s docos.

[LovelyYTRocks]

How to have sex with women for a potato?

That's cheap as hell!

I have to fork over a limb to get laid, I most certainly do!

[grahamkeithtodd]

@LovelyYTRocks sadly old son your going with the wrong type of woman then...lol

[Grykus7]

I never knew people were that crude back then. Although, they are British. xD

[geoffart]

its only made to look old. It was actually made in the ninties, when they were plenty crude enough.

[Grykus7]

I started getting that idea when Harry looked just like this today. xD This was my first Harry Enfiied video.

[geoffart]

they've done a good job of making it look old.

[UrpleSquirrel]

Only the British can do this with a straight face. That's why we have British people.

[andyt141]

i know it almost makes you proud to be british:P

[stillavril]

Gosh how very frightful to have this beastliness sprung upon me.

As I said to the gardener only yesterday. And the day before...........

[BumbleBeeInABluebell]

But at least it's quick!

[adamp237]

Has the train arrived in Pennington yet?