Mock the Week- Unlikely Things to Read on a Packet

[xXDinoman1997Xx]

I don't understand how Frankie comes up with those jokes so fast. He really is a brilliant comedian. I still love Russel, Andy and Hugh though. And some of the guests are brilliant.

[EroticAfroBandit]

@xXDinoman1997Xx Most of the show is improvised, but I for scenes we like to see and the stand-up part they are given the topics beforehand.

[lenanana8]

Who is the American guy?

[FalconsPOWN2]

Here i am in the jungle. The comments from the video jungle. AWHUMBAHWE AWHUMBAHWE AWHUMB

[matrixphijr]

I almost whiffed on the Andy Murray joke. Not a tennis watcher.

[paceygza]

1:45 ; just like little suki should .... (Jimy Carr´s fans know what i mean)

[carolkath]

@MrAwabAlmalik A bear is a dangerous carnivore, and Grylls sounds like grills, which is a method of cooking food. A wolf is another type of dangerous carnivore, and stir-fry is another method of cooking food. It's a joke by way of association.

[cjdee94]

frankie is seriusly fucking hilarious

[AlbatrossHD]

@TheUKJoconna is Russell the one with the messed up teeth?

[FalconsPOWN2]

@AlbatrossHD the one in the green striped shirt.

[kantfail]

majik me majick something or other.

[RainHellsine]

Russell Howard is fucking Hilarious. Frankie too

[HellKaiserRika]

Sunny D counts as one of your 5 a day... as -2.

[TheUKJoconna]

Russell Howard never fails to disappoint me. Hopeless.

[MrPrattchet1]

I Cant Remember Who The American Comedian Is...?

[MartyMcKay1]

@MrPrattchet1 Tom Stade :)

[Roper122]

@MrPrattchet1 ... Tom Stade ( he's Canadian )

[goddess026]

frankie is a bloody genius!

[KitsuneProject]

"If you buy Durex and you're a man Don't use it on kids"

[KitsuneProject]

@KitsuneProject that's my 'Dark Jokes 12 Of 20'

[KitsuneProject]

Unlikely Things to Read on a Packet;

"You Have A Package From A Terrorist, Dispose Of It Before Time Runs Out"

[KitsuneProject]

@KitsuneProject 'Dark Joke 11 Of 20'

[KitsuneProject]

Survival show subject: "The Village People have only one way to survive the war outside the YMCA; In The Navy"

[KitsuneProject]

for unlikely things to hear on a survival show:

"log on to a laptop burn a fox hole, There you have it; Firefox"

[KitsuneProject]

@KitsuneProject if you don't like that, try this:

"You Come Face To Face With A Wolf What Do You D... No Mr.Wolf, we do not eat our scout campers!"

[cragmac1000]

We only use the cheapest horse meat to make--ahh fuck it, it's just a cat!

[blondeybaby23]

"To stop diarrea take one teaspoon...and shove it up your ass. "

[coolmusicization]

Uo stop repeating what they said...I just watched it!!!!!!

[cragmac1000]

@coolmusicization , Would you stop repeating what I just said....I just read it!!!!!!

[crook4real]

franky is proper jokes lol

[acronus]

Warning:

Product may cause unsightly stains on your carpet and unwanted pregnancies.

Captain Morgans Rum

"You and the captain made it happen".

[blondeybaby23]

@acronus HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA­

[Satarack]

@iiLuChrisBrown96 The way I see it, it's kinda like voting for the joke you liked the most.

[MrLW25]

We use only the cheapest horse-meat to make 'Fuck it, it''s just a cat'

[Tarish0]

The viagra one by frankie is just plain amazing

[sttate]

I hate how one of the top comments on every other mock the week video is some fangirl quoting one of Russells mediocre jokes.

[Carsey755]

Viagara are proud sponsors of Andy Murray for people who can only achieve a semi! haha legend!

[Carsey755]

Ragu sauce, if you give this to someone who actually lives in Italy, they would punch you in the face!haahaha

[charlotte4112]

What's rohypnol?

[TheSneakyCheetah]

@charlotte4112

Rohypnol is famously used a s a date-rape drug to put people to sleep, usually buy slipping it into someones drink

[xIonacharliex7]

To stop diaria, take one teaspoon, and shove it up your arse.

Lmao x

[TheN4DIA]

Haha. XD

[francakesx]

Best before date: rohypnol LOL

[quizman1967]

I'm Bear Grylls, and this is my brother, Wolf Stirfry

LOL

[cozz]

@quizman1967 Hahaha!

[Emcily]

oh yes, its us.!

[convictPKlol]

-insert joke from the video just to get thumbs up-

[danelletakarai]

first joke's kinda gross ...you Frankie you naughty naughty boy...

[MrLtRaine]

NOW DO U LOVE ME DADDY???

[albagubragh01]

best before date rahipnol lmfao hahaha

[Chaddersman]

6 out of 4 people have trouble with fractions.

[IAmTheMohawkWarrior]

Sunny Delight counts towards your five a day! ... As minus two. LMAO

[rachel11smith]

6 people disliked this and got eaten by hugh dennis

[stansdad16]

Ofcourse food is as scarce and valuable resource to these tribes people, so i've just bagged myself two nights with this fella's wife for a Twix What a genius XD

[petacavanagh]

"Best before date: Rohypnol" LMAO!!!! OMG HAHAHAHA

[tunemyguitarnow]

does anyone else think the bald guy (not Daragh) is not funny

[petacavanagh]

@tunemyguitarnow Andy Parsons?

[Oohlaful]

I love Hugh's intensity!

[Elllaification]

Best serving suggestion On a Plate you thick MORON! -.-

[Elllaification]

i ache-vied my life's ambition by climbing mount everest with no food or equipment

NOW DO YOU LOVE ME DADDY DO LOVE ME NOW!!! :)

[delamrio]

Love their little handshake.

[randomface54]

To open; push down tab, break tab, swear repeatedly, STAB WITH A PAIR OF SCISSORS! LMAO!!!

[VitoCorleonePadrino]

Can someone tell me if this is improvised? Otherwise how does it work?

Either way, great comedy,

[DaHazzMan]

'To stop diarrhoea, take a teaspoon. And shove it up your arse' haha Hugh is a Legend XD

[AmmyzAmyz]

I you dont like this your racist

[jetfire851]

Even Frankie can't keep a straight face on the first one.

[TheRisenDragon]

I thought this was the packet one........not the survival one.?????????

[theaeiou113]

tom didnt go up once dumb twat!!!!

[Confusedfurry]

@frenchyManUTD1989

dont forget Fox Barbeque , Squirrel roast, and badger roast

[Confusedfurry]

@Confusedfurry

lol repeated the last part twice >:

[armandin2048]

@frenchyManUTD1989 Yes we know you stupid reeking cunt, we just watched the fucking video.

[xpoppyloupeanutx]

oh russel, it would have been soo much better if you'd have pronounced um BONGO right :)

[theaeiou113]

@xpoppyloupeanutx what dose that even mean???

[xpoppyloupeanutx]

@theaeiou113 the drink he calls um bungo is pronounced um BONGO. weird, i know.

[bitexyourxrhymes]

5 people were stabbed with a pair of scissors.

[3WillG]

am i right in thinking that the Tom Stade guy is on Tramadol Nights?

[mrvegas2005]

@3WillG  yea

[TimeTheftProductions]

@3WillG Yes, he is. Though that might not be something to be proud of...

[ankr273]

haha " NOW DO YOU LOVE ME DADDY! NOW DO YOU LOVE ME!!!!".

[popjoeandco]

Russel Howard robbed that joke at 1:38 from Jimmy Carr

[SiriusPunk]

NOW DO YOU LOVE ME DADDY?

NOW DO YOU LOVE MEEE?!!?!?!?!

wow :L

xx

[DEATH2thaSTUpid]

5 people have NO SENSE OF HUMOUR

[LemonZeppelin]

Go to itunes and download the free podcast 'Frankie Boyle: Mock The Week musings'. It's where he tests out all the MTW stuff on a live audience. He does Unlikely Things To Read On A Packet and says stuff like: "This shampoo has been tested on animals. We fed it to a monkey and the monkey died." and "These pills will stop you having unwanted children. They're paracetamol we made to look like Smarties." It's highlarious.

[xxteamedwardxx01]

Serving suggestion: On a plate you moron :') <3

[xxteamedwardxx01]

Hi, I'm Bear Grills, and this is my brother, Wolf Stir-fry :') <3

[blkcnzproductions]

@xxteamedwardxx01

People who do '<3' are fucking faggots.

[LadyGagaa5]

"But who are the truly civilised? Is it the Umbupi tribe, or is it us, with our books, our medicine and our internet? Oh,yes, it's us."

[JMEcooper]

Lol Ragu source lol

[RoBxWoLVeS]

@cedricedward tom stade

[LoveCherryBoom]

"We only use the cheapest horsemeat to make 'fuck it, it's just a cat'" - you gotta love Frankie there.

[DeadlyV1RU5]

Hugh Dennis's teaspoon joke should have got a much bigger reaction, IMO it was the single best joke of that round.

[smellehJOBBY]

what does the guy mean at 3:21 - 3:24 ?

[StraitKnopfler]

@smellehJOBBY It's a reference to the bizarre act of masturbating whilst strangling yourself (in this case, with the use of a plastic bag), known as Autoerotic Asphyxiation, an act that, whilst dangerous, supposedly makes it more exciting for some people.

Several people have obviously died from doing it, the most famous case here in the UK being that of Tory MP Stephen Milligan, who died in 1994 with a bin bag over his head (plus also wearing stockings and suspenders ...).

[mimaloche]

unlikley tings to read on a packrrt

[tehsprite]

@cedricedward Tom Stade, he's a legend.

[SalvageB292]

"NOW DO YOU LOVE ME DADDY!!! NOW DO YOU LOVE ME!!!???" classic =')

[Jackass23311]

Serving sugestion on a plate you thick moron!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[iloveCullens96]

russell howard + frankie boyle! love 'em :')xo

[markd844]

Not only is this lake good for fish,

but we can also put a body in it.

[G0dex]

0:47 Wdf.

[sidvicious36]

The strong powerful son has made me sweat. Oh shit here's his dad!

[ManySoulsOnePurpose]

Viagra are proud sponsors of Andy Murray; for people who can only ever achieve a semi.

LMAO I'm dying here!

[KitsuneProject]

@ManySoulsOnePurpose what you recon to mine?

"If You Buy This Rice, Keep It Away From Indian And Chinese Resteraunts, They've Got Shot Guns. SHIT! RUN AWAY!!!"

[armadilloqueen99]

frankie boyle ftw

[lolXfactor1]

total lolage at 4:18 :D

[YorkieLad16]

I'm Bear Grylls. This is my brother, Wolf Stirfry!

[blackicebill96]

What's the Irish guys name?

[LouiseTurner1]

cup a soup. Just add soup. haha gd 1 Andy haha

[LouiseTurner1]

"To get the fish, brake the ice, jump the checkout and RUN!!" haha i lurv dat.

[XxsiananxX]

the buzzing noise means that there go is over and the next person can come in

[gloomyoutlook]

serves 4, you greedy bastard

rofl, does anyone really eat the recommended serving size? it's tiny to make it appear to have less calories!

[beepandbop]

what does the buzzing noise mean?

[pitchivoicebianca]

@beepandbop they get a point coz it makes people laugh

[coasterpovking]

next person or stop

[Tabbiecat55]

@beepandbop It means "you have to stop and go back to your place now"

[MrParam0re]

That is how I open pakets

[TheGreyhoundBoy]

i found it funny when in the middle of the sunny d one, someone laughs after frankie says "counts as one of your five a day."

[breakingthehabit2008]

hahahahaha

[FYFE10]

who's the american guy

[SamGaming]

@FYFE10 yeah whats his name people?

[opie35437]

@SamGaming @FYFE10 He's Tom Stade

[SamGaming]

@opie35437 thankyou! :D

[gobabbbalbabbablgjsh]

how the heck is russel full of himself???

he makes funny jokes-all of them do!!!!!

[AnTMuFc118]

Its shit without Frankie, that cunt Hugh is the worst, he is just a joke, I dont think I have ever laughed at 1 of his jokes

[alin1975]

Funny, Hugh was always my favourite with Frankie.

For me its Russel I have a problem with.

But hey, I guess thats the good thing about a panel, you get something for everyone.

[GianTheMan91]

russel howard is not funny. he is so full of himself that it makes me cringe. apart from that mock the week rules but will not be the same without frankie

[1arteas1]

ruseel aint full of himself u are

[beanbagproductions]

Serves four, you greedy bastard, now put some of that back.

[Nicksta101]

0:48 Andy Parsons is ace 2:58 as well

[xSillyTillyx]

Fairtrade coffee

If you don't like it

YOU'RE RACIST Lmaooo x

[limeclementine]

omg. the travelodge joke!!! i lolled for a full 5 minutes. i've stayed in a few and it's true.

[LiquoriceandSpice]

My 3 faves:

"Serving suggestion: on a plate, you thick moron!"

"To open, push down tab, break tab, swear repeatedly,STAB WITH A PAIR OF SCISSORS!!!"

"Of course, food is a scarce & valuable resource in these parts. So I just bagged 2 nights with this fella's wife for a Twix."

Mock The Week FTW!!!!

[AMANDAxxx13]

frankie...your a legend mate XD

[Georgeous129]

i know lol, that powerful son joke was fucking incredible!

[chaz9123]

RHOD GILBERT IS A LEGEND!! cymru am byth

[chaz9123]

i hate tom stade not my humour hes not that funny to me

[pMcARDENboyz]

iv just bagged 2 nights wiff this blokes wife for a twix

rofl

[ciaracustard]

Who's the American guy next to Hugh and Frankie?

[verbaluk1]

That would be (the Canadian) Tom Stade.

[ciaracustard]

Thanks.

[vonmetford]

Tom Stade...check out his bit on 'live at the apollo'

[ciaracustard]

@vonmetford Yeah I did, he's really funny.

[vonmetford]

ha ha ...meat van guy...

[ciaracustard]

lol

[joejk3]

Why did sm1 laugh befroe the joke at 3:35..

[ajpfore]

funny stuff! xD

[acdkat]

serving suggestion- on a plate you stupid moron!

[craigybaby10101]

"BRAND NEW" lol,not anymore

[Pronchi]

They should remove "shiny brand new" after 6 months maybe?

[opie35437]

true enough, I'll do it tonight

[techbanana]

Download frankie boyles podcast from iTunes. It has him performing his packet jokes before the show. This is funny. Fairtrade coffee if u don't like it ur racist! Lol

[VodkaMagiK]

"fuck it it's just cat!"

[Astrolounge]

"Adults and children over 12 years: try not to get those two mixed up."

I love Rhod Gilbert.

[predatortilldeath08]

"i was taught too eat in the bush from a french girl i met at university"! lol

[predatortilldeath08]

"cuppa soup.........add soup". lol

[Mikkel205]

2:48 <--- so funny xD

[Axegrinder2]

"We only use the very cheapest horsemeat to make, FUCK IT IT'S JUST A CAT!"

[GunsAnMotleyRock]

Haha love everyone in this :)

I love the way they can come up with somethng new an still so funny after all this time :)

[november2remeber619]

2:59 - 3:14 LMAO Andy and Frankie

[erdunno1]

FRANKY BOYLE = LEGEND 2:30 LMAO

1 word GENIUS!!

[PowerfulNoob123]

lmao funny stuff

[xXJacbobXx]

"I just achieved my life's goal of climbing Mt. Everest with no food or equipment, NOW DO YOU LOVE ME DADDY!?"

That was pure genius.

[petergriffinand619]

Hugh Dennis is getting more funnier because he is getting less repetitive way to go Hugh :)

[ozwick14]

more funnier?

Andy's Funny with "Serves 4, You Greedy Bastard. Now Put some of that back."

Funniest Frankie lines:

1)