The Onion Review: Congress Cuts Its Step-Son's Funding

[Jeremiah2450]

DAMN YOU MITT ROMNEY!

[IcyScythe]

republicans really have zero sense of humor lol, look at the number of dislikes

[quidnick]

WHERES THE UPDATE ON THE FUCKING TIRE???!!!

[Awgez24]

Good job for making the video 20 seconds true to the title.

[Inediblehulk]

I call a Day of Rage this Monday against The Onion's new skin! If anybody else is in, count me out. Have fun, though!

[BIuejay]

These videos aren't good enough. This 'NPR' style falls flat.

[mmmmmhotdogs]

at least the homeless guy survived winter [:

[MassZombicide]

What the hell? I'm congress's son? Cool.

[itworkss]

I find this difficult to masterbait to.

[Iplaygamesforcash]

@itworkss Your not trying hard enough

[salamibanane]

Sorry onion. Far below your standards. And not to rain on anyones career, but I agree: the speaker just doesn't cut it at all.

[666789443]

Boring.

[05swanbe]

"And it looks like this homeless guy survived the winter"

Fucking brilliant.

[aleczander1992]

True... This would sound so much better with another voice.

[MrBalonko]

Not so funny .

[ps3specter]

Very NPR.

[SomethingAwfulTV]

holy shit this video was a  fucking bore

[tctheunbeliever]

If there really were ghosts, they'd spend a lot more time just fucking with the idiots on Ghost Adventures.

[gleefanatic2011]

why does this have so many dislikes? ?!?!?

[tommysch]

@gleefanatic2011 People who never watched NPR...

[Looserkid13]

@gleefanatic2011 the narrator.

[TheMasterminja]

Does any onel ess love this guys voice, it reminds me of NPR

[whogasa929]

Sounds exactly like NPR. Is that not the idea?

[ScientificExploits]

I liked the way they imitate fox in the other ones. This one didn't get my attention.

[HLEwolf]

Have Clifford Banes read this instead!!

[CurryCurry]

in this comment section: people think the onion gives a fuck about any of your inane bitching and rambling.

[pheowobbo]

@CurryCurry: I'm the narrator.  I need to hear this kind of feedback. Thank you everyone. It... it hurts, but it is food for thought/know for next time. I guess if we had the funds we could hire James Earl jone-- NO. Morgan Freeman. Heck, we could JUST do a clip on his skin tags. Mmmm... SOMEone has some writing to do. Keep the feedback coming, guys. Thanks!

[CastlePokemetroid]

@pheowobbo Dude, if you're the narrator, then I sound almost exactly like you. Not quite, but still.

[pheowobbo]

@CastlePokemetroid: bff!

[john34841]

Not sure what everyone is bitching about on here.. it is fine

[ikurasake]

The fuck, Onion, didn't you learn from the last video like this?

[ExaggerateWith8]

i like this narrator...

[Fischerspoonraff]

It's almost unbelievable how much this guy sucks. He needs to be fired.

[ValentinMiroArt]

sounds like a bad NPR voice

[tagginos]

I wasn't impressed but I loved the reading from the woman's book. It was just the kind of tripe I had to listen to in school when I made the huge mistake of studying Creative Writing with my scholarship dollars.

[EvilLamas]

@tagginos Aparantly it's vital to a career in Engineering, that I annotate poems, and understand why people in the 17th century, were pretty fucked up.

[younglife88]

I agree with MediaCollege... sucks... i want real parody =[

[BryanStars]

I actually enjoyed this a lot.

Keep it coming

[DoctorWeeTodd]

It's the awful sound capture. There needs to be a better mic filter, or the narrator needs to hydrate his mouth.

[Pattybeetle]

Dumb

[SaintBloody]

BOO THIS IS NOT FUNNY

[Aureosol]

I FORGOT HOW TO TURN OFF THE CAPS

[alttakes]

It's like a bad pastiche of an Onion video.

[BrettMorseKarzen]

please get a new narrator!!

[xxicahxx]

@dookdawg214 yes yes, i was being sarcastic but over text or typing like this u can totally tell

[lordtalon69]

Sadly the onion has been awful ever since it went to cable. I miss the old internet onions... and the crew that surrounded those shows.

[Ecosse57]

as has been said, those who think the voiceover is boring have never heard public broadcasting. this is exactly like the recaps they do.

that said: the current direction of the onion is a huge disappointment and am close to un-subscribing.

[takerdust]

@Ecosse57 Cable news dumbed down many people

[robailey431]

These must go

[mark142tru]

Awkward isn't funny unless you can see somebody.

[someoldcliche]

All the people who are complaining that this guy doesn't sound right has clearly never listened to NPR

[MrConnorJordon]

@someoldcliche Agreed, which is why I never listen to NPR

[JohnnyArizona84]

@someoldcliche lol thats exactly what it sounds like!

[wizoski]

@someoldcliche funny you mentioned this. I was listening to this style the moment i turned this vid on and it all made sense

[extrapreneur]

Boring.



[Jamonkatrunk]

need a kleenex bro?

[KingRobbStark]

The internet killed T.V. and the T.V. killed The Onion.

[canufi]

@KingRobbStark why did tv kill the onion, is onion not as funny any more?

[LordXehenniar]

You can see the flaws in the very predictable humor when its mashed together like this. Plus, I give the guy effort for trying, but he cant match the old speakers.

[c0unterph0bia]

Hire Donald Trump to fire this guy.

[1schwererziehbar1]

voiceover sucks.

[ScienceBytes]

The jokes would be hilarious if the VO guy showed any emotion at all.

[matthew1198765]

Please change this speaker...

[kinglordme]

This voice sends me to sleep.

[Tiki656]

this sounds like NPR to me

[RyanB35]

Ugh so close. The words are funny, the voice is not.

[Aprilshowersss]

wow, onion, what happened?

[Sirwastealot]

Onions always been genius at treading the line of being comedic while being so serious that it almost seems real. Now theyve crossed the line towards the serious side, that voice, although very realistic and news like, takes away the comedy.

[supergsx]

(Repetitive criticism of the Onion's new type of humor.)

[shaunbot]

weak

[MrScTi]

Dreadful. The budget cutbacks didn't leave a dime for a decent voice-over.

[DogWed]

I never realised just how much impact a persons voice can have until I watched this. Sorry Onion, no laughs from me this time.

[edvhou812]

These monotone shorts suck.

[SuperLink517]

I spoke too soon on the last video, The Onion is not, in fact, back.

[thekatimageneral]

Not their best effort.

[TheStrangerInTheRye]

PLEASE DON'T FIRE THE GUY. 

[davethehostage]

@TheStrangerInTheRye NO, THIS GUY SERIOUSLY NEEDS TO BE FIRED. OR AT LEAST KEPT AWAY FROM THE MICROPHONE. MAYBE PUT HIM IN PRODUCTION. YEAH, PRODUCTION SOUNDS GOOD. ANYWAYS. AM I RAMBLING? SORRY ABOUT THAT.

[TheStrangerInTheRye]

@davethehostage ALL CAPS ROAAAAAAAROAWOROAWRA!

I AGREE BY THE WAY.

[cyropyro]

@davethehostage Just turn your speaker down. It will be okay...

[demonhuskfang]

@davethehostage your my favorite.

[jekrafft]

Was that jannine garafolo announcing?

[kaisergrendel]

Oooh @ the comments, someone at ONN is going to get a tap on the shoulder soon...

[Firemerlin86]

Aha... aha.... haaaaaa............... =|

[deef3]

FAIL



[ribtor]

Yeah the Review needs a new voice.

[DixieOfDeKalbCounty]

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO­OOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[DrInfidel]

This guy's voice doesn't sound too newsy.

[delta0zero]

i miss theOnion...

[newcoyote]

I stay subscribed to The Onion in the hopes it will return to it's former glory. That does not look very likely.

[Fro5000]

You guys must have never listened to NPR before. Honestly guys, it sounds preeeetty dang close. Although someone older would be better...

[MrConnorJordon]

gotta say, the voice-over ruined all the jokes

[DavidofThe]

Please please please Onion, I adore your content, but this guy kills it. Find another broadcaster or I will have to leave...

[GoldDrache]

@DavidofThe Oh wow, bye random viewer 2312537

[DavidofThe]

@GoldDrache Hahaha nice one goldfaggot

[MCSubliminalSol]

the writing is funny though

[Krust217]

you were consistently good for such a long time. what happened?

[Davve941018]

this sucks

[xGothimox]

I think I'm just going to go ahead and unsubscribe from TheOnion..

[RockleShmocks]

If you go to their website, they have a bunch of good, new videos up. God knows why they aren't advertising this...

To theonion.com!!!

[LapisGarter]

The news isn't bad, the announcer sucks.

[eshake89]

I thought this video was very informative =]

[Jackimole]

This is just articles on the site...

[tombey12]

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz­zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz­zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

[geniusjas87]

Breaking News:

The onion stated to suck since it went mainstream because even though they don't have good material, they have to post crap to make money.

[M60Berserker]

Wow, talk about a budget cut.

[SporkDrinker]

this format fucking sucks its so boring i cant even finish the whole video

[kbub8]

I dunno....I find it kind of funny... maybe a little too dry, but still amusing.

[Utharas]

What is this . . . I don't even . . .

[dv82wf]

Why did the Onion go to shit?

[ASSEMblerEX]

I think the onion just jumped the shark

[Didymosrules]

wow this is really boring. Go back to the In The Know. This format is just too stale.

[AxelLeJeff]

At least people stopped asking "WAIT IS THIS REAL!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?"

[yytrert]

The recession is cutting the budget on everything I see.

[MadHobbitStuff]

dam, this channels getting really shit these days........

[ezelouie]

aww come on, after the bagging the onion got last time they tried this shit why are they doing it again? Or dont they read any of these comments?

[tojasonharris]

What's with the deadpan line-reader?

[30Ciaran]

That's like a collection of scraps from the editing room floor.

Disappointed.

[FungusTrooper]

It's like they have three or more teams working on TO now. One is really good, the others are really bad. I'd prefer just one good video every few weeks like it used to be instead of one good every few weeks and about 12 bad ones, makes me sad :(.

[ViperstudiosNG]

lame

[ImperialManiac1]

made it to 37 seconds, very dull.

Going to go make a sandwich now.

[jamesarongray]

lol

[buttsack123]

love the stories, but get a new narrator!

[MediaCollege]

The problem is that the voiceover doesn't sound like a "real" broadcaster, so the impact is lost. The jokes are fine but to be effective parody it must closely resemble the real thing. This doesn't - I've never heard any half-decent news program sound as sedated as this effort.

[failtolawl]

@MediaCollege The onion is a newspaper.

[TheBishopsBlaize]

@failtolawl Oh really!?

[DoguOgu]

@MediaCollege It doesn't sound like CNN but the narrator sounds a lot like NPR or the BBC (minus the accent)

[Nysyarc]

@MediaCollege I agree completely; if they'd used the same script but done it from a newsroom with a visible anchor who actually had some level of charisma, it would have been a lot more enjoyable to watch.

[ari1234a]

@MediaCollege True.

[TheKenTerry]

...the fuck was that? Hey, Onion, stop sucking hairy balls.

[rivmikant]

If the Onion didn't get a new show, no one would be complaining about this video and acknowledge that it's an NPR parody.

[ffrank345]

I think they've over extended themselves. The show isn't funny either. Forget the half hour that nobody wants to watch, and get back to making good shorts.

[sdaciuk]

Ugh, fix it, it's broken.

[NeverMind9132]

2:12 Rush Limbaugh has predator armor on.

[imgdumpprep]

it's funnier when you show it, not tell it.

[blankpage100]

wait this is actually funny. just cuz it's not in-your-face doesn't mean it isn't true satire and hilarity.

[NimbleTurtle13]

@blankpage100 It's the opposite. It IS in your face.. that's why people don't like it.

[AntaresBFJX]

well even tho the jokes are so obvious that it isnt even funny anymore, they are still douing their job at mockin american society so i give them thumbs up anyways

[Cableguy008]

TOO BORING; DIDN'T LISTEN!

[Exlaxcookies]

haters gunna hate

[TheChum12]

I can hear the narrator's saliva as he cackles.

[mordinvan]

Respect minorities my ass....

[moof911]

i fell asleep half way through. If I wanted to be this bored id watch real news

[gulfmonsoon]

get a better narrator??

[spase667]

This narrator is awful.

[Rezzmasta]

I was on East Hymen Ave. last friday!

[destructicon500]

I thought the author reading part was pretty funny....

[VoidedKurai]

If you actually listen to what the terrible narrator is saying, it sounds like the same Onion jokes we know and love. It's the narrator, not Onion's lack of creativity or wit. I've seen the other Onion videos and the joke quality is the exact same as what we hear in this video, but the narrators are obviously so much more apt. There is no "old Onion", just the older narrators.

[hesteaeble]

oh, fuck off guys... In a half week you stupid half-brained morons will love them again.

[arcticwolf164]

these headlines are better written on the news webpage than read out as a video.

[WhiteyMcKrackerHonke]

BORING. Change the narrator. I stopped paying attention 10 seconds into the clip.

Bring back the old onion.

[TheAndrenic]

Well atleast the homeless guy survived the winter...

[mackenziepricee]

What has happened to The Onion lately?

[cnralph]

This Onion sucks. Bring back the old one's that actually had satire in it's voice. Ben Stein reading articles isn't humor.

[rattlehead66666]

Guh , This makes fox the leading news satire.

[nstgc379]

@rattlehead66666 No, just the best fake news network.

[rauwasp360]

@rattlehead66666 Of course foxnews would be the leading one since nobody watches Communist News Network anyway.

[TechMeched]

boring

[mrice1982]

I liked the UCONN part only because it underscored how man-ish and disgusting most women basketball players are. The rest was pretty "meh".

[ShihnaFujibayashi]

LOL @ Zachary Quinto.

[raythetse]

this was terrible...

[MegaMuffin4568]

oh, UCONN... haha

[BazzTheBoss]

This is stupid, lame, and boring.

[MerchantFromVenice]

I love the Onion but this review really misses the point and the humor of it.

[jgcane]

not a fan of this guys voice

[MrVKCA]

The 15 minute advertisement for christianity predicting the doomsday at the beginning of the video was more hilarious than the onion video.

Seriously, all the retarded imagery, using scenes from holleywood movies, bolding words like "END" and "NEAR"

god it was so fucking retardedly hilarious.

better than the idiotic onion

[PenguinWalrus0]

The onion review sucks, bring back today now and the good stuff

[HeikinAdamJ]

It seems that everytime The Onion uploads a review video on YouTube, they put up a video of their good series up on their website too. There's a new "In The Know" up right now.

[wildhias]

onion review sucks

[farneyblakeley]

ski story bad, UConn joke good

[theused321]

it's just the onion review you maroons

[tafxkz]

once upon a time Onion really reported real new - now it has become a joke factory

[ZTM420]

Mitt Romney apologizes for helping uninsured sick people, now thats more like onion news not this heaping pile of crap, is there nothing sacred in this world anymore?

[tafxkz]

Onion has gone mainstream

[Puglous]

Ergh, The Onion Review has gotta go...

[RunKelseyRun]

This wasn't the best...