Congress(Classified) Vote To Defend Against(Classified)

[JOEPAGANWOLF]

OK I'll admit ya got me LOL..What a great April 1st vid to send out...[ Last year I told a bunch of folks that for only $500 you can get eye surgery that'll let you see in 3D. Only catch as you must have 20/20 vision first] I lost count of how many people wanted to know where to go to really have it done.

[spitbitz]

All your [CLASSIFIED] are belong to us

[massshysteria]

Why dont we all just get issued shotguns and other various self-defense ballistic weapons to fight these intergalactic terrorists, cause obviously Independence Day showed us that jeff goldblum and will smith wont be able to save us. PASS THE "EVERYONE GETS GUNS OR WERE F-CKED" BILL......

[matchesburn]

First time I saw this, I saw a version where someone had edited out the Onion logo. Had me nearly shitting my pants until I did a simple Google search and found no such Congressman.

[immortalisuk]

this is fake, but is ironically rooted around 2 bills/acts that were actually written out and signed.

[MrAdf1972]

hahahhaha this is the Onion; a satirical "news paper" that started in Wisconsin. They are BRILLIANT!!! hahahahah But really this is how we, the people, allow Congress to behave. They may not do it so "classified" bluntly.....but they do it.

[AngryRobot87]

I like the part when he said classified..

[sunshine40ish]

December 21th?

[Maliki79]

Don't worry. I only use my powers for good!

[beloon1970]

Its fake wwwgeekosystemcom/john-haller-­onion-video-fake-news/

[kwoffy]

its FAKE> onion news

[bsting601]

very scary! im glad i dont live there!

[Dr201Power]

you retards that think this is about zombies are in for a whole 'nother WORLD of (classified).

[D0KH0L1D43]

And shit....just saw the Onion logo...

[D0KH0L1D43]

And this is what we pay these fucks for.

[frodel70]

@D0KH0L1D43 You don't pay them. They have the dollarpress! You're fucked! And when I think about it, that makes us ALL in a pile of shit! Worries from Norway...

[augyyyyy]

@frodel70 what are you talking about

[demonsquad2]

fuk this if you god at black ops zombies you must be god for this shit coming up good luck!!

[XTYNoLuck]

then why the fuck would they even make it public?

[AdrianHawryluk]

Thought the last sentence was "Having now reviewed the bill, I ask you to please classified your votes."

[1987Tricker]

Ita joke and fake, look at the normally C-span logo something is not right

[Ramiromasters]

That made feel classified...

[sswemmer]

...Some of it was ... classified

jesus...... CLASSIFIED!!

[tobias2287]

This video has thoroughly earned a *classified* What. The. F*ck.

[MrVizFact]

Those bitches

[363Magi]

It's a Staged Alien Attack that's CLASSIFIED. For real. This is their plan to enslave us!

[LawofSocci]

what was the vote outcome? CLASSIFIED

[CyBeRTRoNFLuX]

sounds like a zombie outbreak

[hoodboi1990]

its real i watched it live on CSPAN months ago

[sixshooter500]

@hoodboi1990 you watched a video from 2008 on CSPAN live 2 months ago? :s

[hoodboi1990]

@sixshooter500 no not really just seeing how many people will buy it lmao

[sixshooter500]

@hoodboi1990 NICE, LMAO

[TheRealVolt]

They're called "nephilim" (half-angels) but they're actually more like an organic exosuits. Think Independence Day aliens meets Metal Gear Solid.

LOL

But seriously aliens did it.

[Mercmitch20]

It's like government Mad Libs!

[flipthistrickbitch]

He is talking about the nephilim, half human giants from befor the flood. The US has found some who were sleeping in cryo chambers located in the moutians of Iraq. They took some of the sleeping giants with them for research, but the nephilim are to strong and dangerous to contain. God himself had to kill them with a global flood. or maybe im crazy........ lol ; )

[Butterflycradle1]

This is sketchy as f

[SubconsciousAwaken]

this is a zombie bill wtf [ 0:53 with 1:36 ] Has the making for a Dead Island & Quaratine 1 & 2 Situation. I mean Classified.

[oreo0002]

lol dude~ when exactly did this happened? XD

[DIRTYPRODiGY]

ZOMBIES !!!!

[andragon333]

Are we gonna shoot this illuminaty down or what ?!?!?! WTF ARE WE WAITING FOR ?

[vic4rp]

Biological warfare....Radiation....chemic­al weapons

[darthkantus]

i love when he says "Jesus" at 1:16

[jahzen7]

Whats the point of speaking you TWAT!

[jaymo1789]

why wud anyone approve of this bullshit??? they dont know what they are approving cuz the important info is ((classified)).

[Pharluke]

CLASSIFIED FLESH EATING!? WHAT THE FUCK HE TALKIN ABOUT ZOMBIES!?!!?!?

SHIT, WHEN IS THIS CLASSIFIED EVENT GONNA TAKE PLACE, ITS BEEN TWO YEARS ALREADY

[captainofentropy]

there is no politician named john haller in pennsylvania.

[pmuzhiko]

That was tottaly *CLASSIFIED* !

[mikesiny89]

lmao. SO THERE REALLY ARE CLASSIFIED!

[VoxUrbana]

HR 8791 THE HOMELAND TERRORISM PREPARENESS BILL

[hardfin]

I really classified this video was classified so if want to come classified my classified and we can classified classified classified

cheers classified

[Slojamoz]

LMAO!!! this goez with the story the CDC released about "Zombie Attack Preparedness"! fear fear fear fear fear "CLASSIFIED" fear fear fear fear fear fear fear..... "CLASSIFED" U OPPRESSOR!!! UR TIMEZ UP!!!

[911allo]

Is this guy is a motherfucker or a (classified) ?

[earthindanger]

earth is in danger

[dsspike51]

Why are americans showing themselves to be the worlds largest cowards?

[chaoticcranium]

I used classified information to contact the future or for classified information... But when I hadn't heard from classified information for a week I thought something was wrong. And then classified information... I was so shocked that I classified information, but there was no classified information... What should I do?

[Baphomiss]

The person speaking is identified as a "Rep. John Haller, (R) Pennsylvania, 12th District." There is no Representative John Haller. Since 1974, the 12th Congressional District of Pennsylvania has been represented in the House of Representatives by John Murtha, a Democrat.

[fuckyoucraccas]

of course there is an alteration..c span will not be held responsible for leaking information thats harmful to congress..

[wildernick28]

This is quite serious, i've seen alot of taboo over the years....My concern is the use of the words..." Through to 'their' enormous size a OTHER worldly strengths"...and the words.."Gessus"....this is not to be taken lightly' an attack from who?

[theblueo1]

Mad libs!

[Akantos02]

watched this at school today, to be honest most of us couldn't stop laughing

[Andrewd1101]

It must be nice to be able to hide under the umbrellas of national security and its classified.Then when the shit hits the fan those in charge wont get wet.Course.the people without a brolly on the top of capitol hill can wear their suits of plausable deniability.Think its time we the people,not just stateside,but worldwide should refresh the tree of liberty.Stop all governments keeping important imformation from us.

[egwiv2001]

We have the technology and have built most of the UFO's we see now around the world. There must be a catastrophic event for the American people to lay the remainder of our trust in the governments hands. We will see all of this classified to come to reality, knowing the government is behind it all remains behind the curtains for most not to know.

[egwiv2001]

We have the technology and have built most of the UFO's we see now around the world. There must be a catastrophic event for the American people to lay the remainder of our trust in the governments hands. We will see all of this classified to come to reality, knowing the government is behind it all remains behind the curtains for most not to know.

[egwiv2001]

We're all on their lists now for watching.

[jcmccandless]

I guess they will have to pass the bill to see what is in the bill. I would have liked to have seen Bush try that one.

[mpasta2000]

This was during the Bush administration.....so that explains a lot

[xadam2dudex]

this is the best Onion video.. it looks so damn real

[akaLunacy]

wtf r u fucking kiding me could this be the end am left with so many questions but i guess if its true than we most be ready wait but thats onion tv wtf it could be fucking fake

[yerty2000]

what the fuck is classified?

[PREVideos1]

JESUS!....that's CLASSIFIED!

birthing centers ha ha, love it

[tiffanynicolega]

did any of you morons notice that this is NOT CSPAN!!!! but from The Onion!!

those types of "classified" bills actions etc do not go to the floor of the House... you idiots

[aaronmc06]

A new BILL of Rights shall be drafted and approved by classified. They edited this video, the first time I saw this clip he repeated this sentence THREE TIMES. That is USA CANADA and MEXICO who are approving a new bill of rights. 10 Divisions of the Earth are coming, followed by the antichrist. Beware, headlines WILL SOON say "Millions Disappeared?" <---(RAPTURED)

[pubybarstumpy]

we are all fucked!

[ZO6Pilot600]

ITS REAL....the human race made a deal with the greys/ reptilians.

Earth is a lusious planet once you remove 80-90% of it inhabitants...the elite

made a deal to insure there survival. But the elitehas finally figured out they will be eliminated as well, so they plan to renig on the deal and fight vastly superior alien tech. figure better go down fighting...and in doing so may destroy the aliens precios earth

[Ch13f7hr4ll]

ok the problem here is everything is classified.. if they just say it.. nvm theyre too stupid to know anyway

[hotshot2443]

hooollllyyy !!!!!be preapperrreeeedd human kind

[Azzaiel]

LMMFBAO!!!!

[ThennyDlux]

yeah yuck it up onion this shit ain't funny. i wonder if the onion and john Stewart and the like will keep making jokes right up until we are all getting chipped and loaded on DHS buses and trains for not be vaccinated

[icemelongreen]

They are talking about the Nephilim. They are going to be released upon the Earth. They are currently being restrained by the Holy Spirit. When the Holy Spirit is removed along with their containers (Christians) the whole world will be over-run.

[HeadxCrab]

He is talking about the H1N1. You crazy.

[HeadxCrab]

And this is fake, "God" Damn onion tv.

[aaronmc06]

watch your mouth

[matThaHatter]

@aaronmc06 watch YOUR mouth, cuz it's drooling all over everybodies shoe's, you superstitious tool, you're too busy being indignant with anyone with the audacity to not buy into your fairy tales that you can't see the fukin onion logo at the bottom!

[rg3855]

replace classified with WE THE PEOPLE and u can make sense of it

[Lukinofender]

It s a real serious thing, but this video is a joke made by onion tv. Visit their site and you will find more politic videos (about minotaur and so on..) But there are many dangerous facts, that should be hidden. You must hide only small secrets, but nobody believe in such a huge things, so you don t have to hide them..

[ControlledDemolition]

truth is stranger than fiction

[elitebanktyranny]

This is a warning to show us what's coming...

They can either set up Americans as domestic terrorists and they've got the swine flu all hyped and ready.

[storm96cloud]

Jesus apparently is going to evacuate urban areas, I heard it! Of course it's fake Congressmen/women rarely actually read the bills they vote on! duh!

[BillOfRiGHTs911]

fear mongering

[blahmfingblah]

You are all fools. This is real. It has to pose as a fake Onion posting, because we are all being watched by aliens. They would know in a second if we were exposing their plot to take over Ben and Jerrys and usurp power with a new flavor, "Chubby Chump Cheney." I swear. You heard the truth here first. Sorry aliens...someone had to set them straight.

[SCRulerShinoda]

@blahmfingblah I love it when you guys say "you heard the truth here first." I absolutely love it.

[poncegsx]

haha im glad im not a noob, i saw the onion news before, and when i saw that at the bottom, i looked up his name and didnt find anything.. haha at first i was like F*ck! then i started laughin

[witchkiller13]

Any of you that thought this was real....need to seriously reconsider your critical thinking skills.

As you cans see,,,,RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR EYES...there's an onion logo in place of c-span.

Now....put your tin foil sombrero back on.

[nicko198718]

@witchkiller13 im sorry im not america is this from a tv show or some shit its funny

[hellas1821]

you dont need to look it up to know its fake...bottom right...an ONION!!! that should give people some sort of clue lol.

[gabhari]

of course this if fake (but hilarious)! note the onion-symbol next to the word "span".

Does not make it any less funny though

[coldbrokelonely]

This is completely F A K E! Just look up Rep. John Haller on google. He does not exist and therefore not a Rep of PA 12th district which would be Rep. John Murtha (D).

[vradiohd]

The potential use of these internment facilities to detain American citizens under a martial law situation are not an object of media debate or discussion.

Combat Units Assigned to the Homeland

DOD ordered the recall of the 3rd Infantrys 1st Brigade Combat Team from Iraq~to the Homeland~'case of civil unrest'~martial law CoMeTh

ps, ty cbl

[hammerlane2]

Dirty bastards ,fraudulent fools lmao

[gettogethernow]

Lol. Google: hr 8791 bill hoax or wikipedia: John Haller. The Representative for Pennsylvania's 12th district is John Murtha, & has been since 1973. This video is a fake. There is no Rep. John Haller. Do the research.

[vradiohd]

We are slaves and own absolutely nothing not even what we think are our children.

Tillman v. Roberts 108 So. 62, Van Koten v. Van Koten 154 N.E. 146, Senate Document 43 & 73rd Congress 1st Session, Wynehammer v. People 13 N.Y. REP 378, 481)

"The People" does not include you and me. (Barron v. Mayor & City Council of Baltimore. 32 U.S. 243)

[Amac1977]

this is fake people !!!! Look it up there is no rep.john haller in the 12th district. This type of fake is a dangerous one . It takes away the real truths if we keep putting fakes out there !

[abounnour]

I didn't understand anything.. fuck..

[fromthe209]

The Representative for Pennsylvania's 12th district is John Murtha, & has been since 1973. This video is a fake.

[mikeosaki]

"A government big enough to give you everything you want is a government big enough to take from you everything you have." — Thomas Jefferson

[Saturn357]

This is what I know about this bill:

The Marines are planning to "Classified" in the city of "Classfied" in the event that people decide to "Classified" with "Classified". A new president will be installed to replace "Classified" when we "MAJORLY CLASSIFIED". Then, we shall wipe out the religion of "Classified" with "DON'T ASK". Also, George "CLASSIFIED" will become President again, and we will scoop up "CLASSIFIED" brains from him and put it in the new president.

Did you get that?

[womule2005]

the first time i watched this i thought it was real and didnt pay attention to the onion logo. they i felt like a real ass LMAO

[oceanrefusesnoriver]

save the wild goats, lol

[abwsmmg]

NOT REAL PEOPLE! There is NO Congressman Rep. John Haller (R-PA). Just the Onion freaking people out. *L*

[jeremiahsineiii]

please site the source. This is wrong. You are creating unnecessary suffering, trust me.

[omarlives]

That's all that asshole says. "WATCH THE CHAIR". BUT WHAT IS IT SUPPOSED TO BE DOING ASSHOLE, DOES IT MORPH INTO ANTI-CHRIST AT 0:54? NO YOU LIL BITCH! IT DOESN'T DO SHIT. EXPLAIN YOUR LIL THOUGHTS. SO THAT WE MIGHT UNDERSTAND WTF YOU ARE GETTIN AT CUZ NO ONE GET UR MORONIC SELF. AND ONE MORE THING. SO THIS IS SUPPOSEDLY FAKE, SO YOU'RE TELLIN ME OUR GOVT AIN'T CAPABLE OF PASSING THOSE SORT OF LAWS??? I FUCKIN' DOUBT IT SHEEPLE!!!

[McWalker25]

the truth of the matter is that [classified]

[tradewinds77]

What about the chair?

[CountValdez]

It's there at first, then when it changes view the chair isn't there and when it changes view again the chair is back.

[dizzib]

Watch the chair to the right in the background. Seek the truth!!!

[Saturn357]

The truth is CLASSIFIED!

[johnathan343]

This Bill is what to do in case of a bio attack. Not what we think it is. I was thinking the same as the rest of you when I first heard it. But they need to just say that and make it clear so people understand this bill.

[14rondy]

At first I was also taken in but if you look at "continuity of the us government" which I assure you is very real... in your utube search you will see there is more to this than just a spoof there was a bill very similar to this passed in a closed session of congress..... yea we are all stupid

[bubbaluvs]

wow. got me at first. funny, but, not too far from the truth if you think about how things are done on the hill.

[comeonwtf9]

Lmao @ those who still believe that this is real.

1. There is no representative John Haller.

2. That's The Onion's logo at the bottom.

3. Read the video's description.

[lionofjudah83]

LMAO!! DAMN!! I THOUGHT IT WAS REALL! but this does sound very plausible..

[NorseProphet]

Haha!

What a priceless comment field this is, almost as hilarious as the video itself. It seems like most people on YouTube are retards, taking satire from The Onion as literal Truth. Obtain some brains and a sense of humor, please. :)

[bennyesod]

ha,, great news, they have

[Blaluma]

somebody knows where I can read this law by myself?

[tvkillers96]

Im sorry but you guys are all retarded...do you see that little onion before it says span? this is a spoof done by a comedy based news paper originally from San francisco. Look at the end, there is a news report on goats. Come on people

[gtiapr3]

Replaced classified with UFO/ALIEN

[grpenn]

Replace classified with us dude-urban area? Birthing centers? Underground-body disposal?

[Azmodey01]

when you see that kind of guy keeping such important/vital things secret like that ...should someone raid him and force him to tell what he know...take a gun go at his home and kidnape him and force him to tell the story!come one someone wake up...

[SteveTrinity]

The Question is where did this video come from? and how did you obtain it. Please respond.

[izzysmart]

check light on his head long shot at 1min 14sec, he looks like green screen super imposed over, i use green screen will try and re create

[izzysmart]

maybe a good green screen HOAX, look at edges and long shot. Not sure what goveremnt up to with this one