Added: 5 years ago
From: lemsip337
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  • Demmed Cockney rascals!

  • Love this....

  • You, Raas-claat

  • awsome

    

  • I believe he calls him a "shower" but makes it sound like it is only one syllable as is the cockney way.

  • @ThinYoghurt1 A 'cockney' would never use the word 'shower' (except in a personal hygiene context). It's a reference to Terry-Thomas, a great British comedy character actor of the 50's and 60's, he played upper-class 'toffs' in Boulting Brothers comedy films. The whole skit is a commentary on the British class system and how the BBC used to patronize people from the provinces, especially those from the north of England or Wales/Scotland and the 'working classes' in general.

  • What does a call the geordie? An Absolute Char?

  • americans think we all drink tea an talk like cockneys coz there all related to each other in some way, Especially in Kentucky

  • @RAGMIDENIMOV Hey dumbass we are all related.

  • this is amazing

  • Colin McFarlane was severely underused on the fast show, he needed to be in more sketches.

    Also, can someone tell me where I can find the 'Middle-class' sketch of this show? It's my favorite, but it's only a one-off and I can't seem to find it

  • @geoffwoade I need that one too, Im trying to explain to an American what middle class means over here

  • @DieByMyHand1 well MY parents taught me at home...

  • soft southern puffs.. 

  • I am so going into the pub on Friday and saying "You. Raasclaat. Pimms all round!"

  • You, rassclart!

  • Whenever I see Colin McFarlane in Batman Begins or The Dark Knight, I always think of "Check Me one time Whitey"

  • How the fuck can you all be arguing.. "check me one time whitey" ..

    AHAHahh richmond upon thames

  • oh god you couldnt put this on tv now

  • Is this the trailer for the American re-make of (insert British film here)?

  • The best part "Check me one time whitey"

  • What are people talking about? He says "rasclart"! Not "draughtsclerk" or "draughtsclart". The "D" sound people think they're hearing is the sound of his foot on the floor as he turns to the bar, and there's clearly no "F" sound in the word either. He's been saying patois in a posh accent, the joke doesn't follow that he would then say a posh word in a posh accent. And people, stop replying to the trolls pretending they think it's Lenny Henry.

  • That is not Lenny Henry.

  • @123WelshDan321 Thats not Lenny Henry, it's a British actor called Colin McFarlane who was also in Batman Begins and Dark Knight as Comissioner Loeb.

  • 0:09

    hello have you any jelly reels

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  • if obama doesnt does this today it will bleedin fack me oft.

  • Arguments over comedy ? didn't you know comedy is not meant to be taken seriously ! You all lose

    If you agree - YOU WIN !

  • He says draughtsclaart. "claart" is the patois / jamaican pronunciation of CLOTH. Its a pun. Draught beer. Rasclart....etc etc... And its fucking funny.

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  • dem honkeys got non of dat sense of humour, bloodclart!

    bob marley say: punkclart, rasclart, no what i mean.!

  • "Check me 1 time whitey" i ve used that line ever since and i m white, lol.

  • @daddychu I definitely hear a D as well. I think Meekle's right, it must be a play on words.

  • Great.

  • @daddychu Yes he does. it's a play on the word Raasclaat which is an insult linked to cloth used by women menstruating in Jamiaca. He says Draughtclaat instead, as a pulled pint from a pub is known as a draught beer and the barman could be known as a draughtsman.

  • @Meekle72 He just says Rasclart. Not a single englishman has ever referred to bar staff as a 'Draughtsman' infact no one ever asks for a pint of Draught, so it's certainly not 'Draughtclaat'. I'm assuming you're not English or British are you? Cos if you did call someone a 'Draughtsman' you'd certainly get laughed at!

  • @daddychu

    •draftsman: a skilled worker who draws plans of buildings or machines

    any of the 12 flat thick discs used by each player in the game of draughts US and Canadian equivalent checker

    Nothing to do with pubs.

    NUFF SAID.

  • @daddychu 50 years old and you're talking to me like that? i see why you're confident... behind a screen. bet you're not such a gobby cunt in real life, although i hope you are cos round here you'd get levelled old bitch

  • @SirrSnowman  Shut the fuck up, you dull ageist cunt

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  • @daddychu Yes he fuckin does... look at the thumbs up! If you had a basic grasp on english comedy you'd be able to make the link between a jamaican insult and the fact the barman/draughtsman is pouring the pint for a jamaican you thick cunt... now fuck off and watch the simpsons for some comedy you understand.

  • lol this show introduced me to thigns like "arse" :chris Waddle" and cockneys :D one of the best brit shows ever <3

  • FOR ALL YOU THICK PEOPLE....

    people are only arguing half the argument!! he says draughtsclart because raasclart is a jamaican insult... yet he's speaking posh and the guy behind the counter is the draughtsman... he pours draught beer... it's a FUCKING PUN!! get it into your heads! And yes I want thumbs up for this.

  • Epic.

  • Epic.

  • How can it be draughtsclart /draughtsclerk.

    Where's the 'f' or 'k'?

  • It's the commisher from Gotham city using reverse racism!

  • Cannot believe anyone has suggested he says "draughtsclerk".

    Any script that says that was transcribed the BBC, probably a Ceefax subtitler and I can tell you from experience that, aside from hearing it first, they are no greater authority on what they say than the viewer.

    The 'D' sound heard at the beginning is actually background noise, probably someone's foot moving. I notice that markrixon has deleted his comments, probably in shame when he read the word "transcribed" on his "script".

  • @thebri2

    My comments were deleted because i'd had enough of arguing, and felt i needed to get a life.

    My apologies for posting a link to the script. I was just trying to give (what i hoped) clarification on the whole argument. But seeing as you've cleared up - "The 'D' sound heard at the beginning is actually background noise", we can all sleep easier tonight.

    BTW How do YOU know it was background noise? Were you there?? No you were not. Another clever dick.........jog on!

  • maybe this is what we all sound like to americans.

  • @Mickylove76 yes sir you do! i wonder what we sound like to you all!

    it is my opinion that no one speaks ENGLISH!! including you english!!! lol

  • My comment on the argument going on about what the Yardie says is this; whilst the first word is difficult to decipher, he most definitely says Claat and not Clerk, otherwise it would not be in the slightest bit funny. Jamaicans use the word Claat a lot i.e. Rassclaat, Bloodclaat and Bomboclaat. it sounds like he says 'draws' (knickers) which is another popularly used word in Jamaica, so adding Claat is a play on words from a Jamaican point of view which is what makes it funny, Great show!

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  • @markrixon Hi, thanks for the link. I note there are a lot of ??? in the transcript, which confirms to me, that it was not written by the actual writers, possibly a fan?

    One sentence in particular from the site... and I quote " I'm a Yardy. ?? From a ten in the yard ??, in a Kingston-stylee." Now, I do know for a fact, he actually says " I'm a Yardy, from a tenement yard, in a Kingston-stylee. Thanks for the link though, as I am fond of scripts.

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  • @markrixon Draughtsclerk?  Arf. You tool.

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  • Wow... the laughing actually gets in the way of this awesome skit...

  • You, rasclot, Pimms all round, hahaha!

  • @croydonrudeness

    Rasclot?

    Careful mate, Ol' sparky Markrixon will be on your case!

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  • @markrixon No... I think you'll find its called wit... Please don't make me explain that to you as well.

  • @laughingdubboy1978

    I think you're confusing wit with rudeness and arrogance. As far as i can see, you are clearly lacking confidence in the real world so you feel you should try and belittle people who have their opinion. From what i've read, you started the arguement by calling anyone who wrote their opinion 'stupid'. Grow up little boy. Have you heard your details can be traced with a little detective work on here. I'd shut up before you get a knock at the door.......

  • @suitablyfly

    Well you'd better get your Mac on then Columbo and I'll put the kettle on...

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  • @markrixon

    What?

    And end this?

    It's far to much fun watching how riled and knotted you've become about being challenged to back up your own opinion. which, I might add you've so far failed to do...

    I've got bollocks alright, I just prefer to keep them in my trousers and not wave them around for all my little pals to see. What next? My Dad could have your Dad!

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  • @markrixon

    Kinda old joke, but actually funny. I'll even give you a thumbs up for it, save your mum coming and doing it for you.

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  • fab sketch :)

  • Pimms should buy this clip off the BBC and use it as their advert, their sales would sky rocket

  • We're Geordies divn't  y'kna

  • For all the Draughtclart idiots on here please open your ears and listen. Its ras clot (raasclart in the right accent!) the guy says. typical west jamaican slang lirtiraly meaning arse cloth (toilet paper). he just says it in a posh sounding voice like all the other posh stereotypes in this sketch... jesus, some people on you tube are thick!

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  • @markrixon

    Owned?

    How old are you?

    Certainly old enough to throw the toys out of the pram when someone challenges you to back up what you say.

    Not "owning"

    Just educating.

    Wikipedia is a wonderful thing. in fact it'll also point you in the direction of "DRAUGHTSMAN" eg: Someone who makes technical drawings.

    Yep, sadly despite once working as one after graduating I still don't get the joke... but then humor is so subjectional isn't it.

    Still busy with that spade? Or shall I pass you a ladder?

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  • @markrixon Still digging? So your aware of what a draughtsman is... "...he was talking to a DRAUGHTSMAN!!" sure? I confess I couldn't see any in this clip... I have to confess that sadly I have to bow in reverence to your senior years and worldly experience but its a lack of a drawing board or any pencils that I just can't get over... Maybe they're under the counter with the dishclothes! So touché Sparky! I'll await my next lesson from the old comedy schoolmaster with baited breath...
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  • @markrixon That's because I don't need my mates to come and show what a popular man I am instead of of insecure little arse who needs to show what a big man he is from behind a keyboard... Night night Sparky, don't forget to get Mummy to come and thumbs up a few comments for you before tucking you in with ya coco. Face it, your wrong, its tough I know but one of lifes little lessons

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  • pimms all round

  • classic!

  • "i say, you there! that fellow! your an absolute shower! are you looking at my laydeeeerrrrrr?" XD

    fucking mint!

  • Love it. However Kingston isn't in Richmond-Upon-Thames, it's just near it and is a borough in its own right.

  • Love this sketch - "We're geordies divn't ya kna"

  • Best Fast Show sketch ever! After years of thinking he said raasclart, he definitely, definitely says draughtsclart!

  • what a melting pot of cultures

  • God save the Queen-dontcha know !

  • notice how it is acceptable to be sort of racist to whites but you can't say the same againest black people? polical correctness gone wrong, great sketch though

  • @airguru2will your not wrong there bredwin !

  • Were Geordies divint ya nar!

  • Pimm's all round!

  • "Are you looking at my ladyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy"?

  • That IS Lenny Henry, right? Fucking LOVE him. Simply canNOT believe that he & Dawn are breaking up. Figured that they, as well as Jen & Ade, were a couple of maybe a dozen couples that actually WORKED on this planet. Hey, I don't read tabloids, I just found out when I logged-in to YouTube, and it fucking suxxors. Worse for them, obviously, but still.

  • er, no it isn't.... doest talk or look remotely like him.

    its Colin McFarlane...

  • @ratsoncats

    He probably thinks "they all look the same".

  • @AnntichristSCoulter lol, never heard anyone talk so positively about lenny henry

  • @jimmyshitbags Well, I dig the guy. If this isn't him, the guy's doing a fucking IMPERSONATION of him, because the mannerisms, the "Jamaican" hyper-accent, the swagger, the build, ALL of it screams Lenny, even to somebody who forgot to put on her reading glasses. And to the BotoxSwallower, I'm a SHE, ya twinkie, and I actually DO think, so keep your ignorance and Y OUR bigotry to yer fuckin' self, amateur.

  • @AnntichristSCoulter

    He's nothing like Lenny Henry apart from being a tall black man. You're obviously over 55 at least to hold Henry in any kind of regard but regardless, Colin McFarlane is an accomplished actor playing a role in arguably one of the best sketch shows written, who I very much doubt has any wish to "do a fucking impersonation" of one of the UK's shittest comedians.

  • @griffinz "to hold Henry in any regard but regardless" kudos if you did that on purpose.

  • @griffinz I take it you watched Chef too then!

  • @griffinz im glad someone else has the same opinion of lenny henry

  • @griffinz i'd hardly call lenny henry "one of the UK's shittest comedians."

  • @AnntichristSCoulter Wow you think this is Lenny Henry? and you say you love him but undoubtedly you could not recognise him in a room full of white people, let alone a room full of black people, I am not sure whether that is hilarious or just sad!

  • @MadameDeJaVu : Dear Judgemental Cracker: You don't know what color I am, so don't ASSume anything, precious. The resolution on this clip sucks, the guy was doing a SPOT-ON FUCKING COPY of Lenny doing his "rude boy" schtick, as I've already said, and if THAT is the most creative thing that you can think of to say, to make yourself feel "better" than somebody, then just go fucking kill yourself, because you are the lamest excuse for "socially conscious" this side of a klan rally.

  • @AnntichristSCoulter who cares what colour you are!!! but since you feel the need to express your dumbness even more... by the sounds of it you are American I take i?  had I known this prior to my comment, I would not have bothered, I do not care to talk to ignorant people.

    Do not bother us with your racist crap here!! as you can see from this clip we know how to have a laugh no matter what colour!! we do not need your ignorance in the UK the title says we're Cockney's you MUPPET!!! Jog on!!!!

  • Commissioner Loeb FTW!

  • soft southen puff we're jordey divant ya nar! love it it is gold

  • Check me one time whitey! LMAO!! genious

  • this show taught me wtf a cockney was lol wasn't miss brahms from are you being served a cockney ? Fast show/Brillian 4ever :D

  • lol epic

  • Definitely rassclart, it's jamaican slang for cloth you would wash your arse with! Rass = Arse, clart = Cloth!

  • Hadaway and shite, now stop it you soft Southern puffs... amazing

  • We're Geordies divven't ya knar!

  • Hmm... I wonder if Armstrong and Miller saw this!

  • he says rasclat, If you actually live in London and are white you will have been called this a number of times by swaggering yardies at various points in time. This is obvious.

  • Definetly rassclad LOL

  • i dont know if i want to enter this tedious debate but....when i first saw this, when it was first on the bbc, i thought he said something like "draughts-clat" because i had never heard the word "rasclart" before (i was about 13 and i grew up in glasgow). listening to it now, and listening to that line over and over again, and watching the way his lips move.....he definitely does just say "rasclart".

  • This is possibly my favourite Fast Show sketch ever, with the possible exception of " It's A Right Royal Cockney Barrel Of Monkeys".

  • I think he made a mistake in saying it, but he meant to say rassclart, I sense rassclart is not a word used in his vernacular lol

  • Check me one time whitey :o) Classic!

  • @tjf4375 its awesome, brilliant sketch.

  • I really do think he says "raasclat", but its definetly "Pimms allaround."

  • ...

  • check me one time whitey

  • THANKYOU! Everyone was arguing with me ages ago that he says "raasclart" but given the situation its obviously draughtsclart

  • rassclaat! pims all round..

    haha love it

  • "We're geordies divn't ya na" :D

  • some people are just sometimes blinded by their own idiocy

  • if he was saying draughtclart then why would he order pimms all round? its rassclart, plus daughtclart isnt even a beer

  • you can hear there's a D, but you do have a point. to me sounds like draught'sclart (that's my opinion so don't bother arguing)

  • I can't believe how many people think he's saying draughtsclart. Forget the lack of a D sound, there's no F sound either.

  • Check me one time whitey!

  • Where do you get draughtclart from, he says rassclart.

  • dont cry

  • you, raasclart, pimms all roung

    just love it

  • I thought he said "pills" as in "pilsners".

  • It's Pimms. The summer beverage for people who went to private school and get jobs in the City.

  • @DarkMuj Bugger I best stop drinking Pimms them, Im from Bradford and went to school down't pitt

  • You Northern Scum!

    HA, lol

  • Check me one time, whitey!

  • Yes it is.

  • isn't the black guy the commissioner from the dark knight?

  • Yes it is.

    Hes in Jazz Club clip as well as a few others.

  • Holy shit, you're right. I cannot believe I didn't notice that.

  • kingston is not in richmond upon thames, it's in kingston upon thames. i still completely looled though.

    Yes, thats the joke...

  • not really, the joke is that you expect it to be kingston, jamaica....

  • "Check me one time whiteigh." Class, class, class

  • "Check me one time whitey" BWAHAHAAHAAA.

    This is the best show ever.

  • Jesus Christ, that is too funny.

  • kingston is not in richmond upon thames, it's in kingston upon thames. i still completely looled though.

  • Quality. I loved the Fast Show. I reckon Armstrong & Miller could have been influenced by this, - with their (very funny) WWII RAF pilots speaking street slang.

  • I'll have no rumpus in heaah!

    tickles me.

  • Black guy steals the show, hilarious

  • this is the best of this particular run of sketches.....thanks xxx

  • I'm a geordie divvint ya nar

  • You... Draughtsclaat!

    That's genius hahaa

  • raasclart

  • no, he says draughtsclart... if you listen and understand the context you'd realise that... because it's taking the piss out of the dialects of the different minorities... so instead of raasclart... he says draughtsclart to take the piss out of the stereotype and to link it to the fact you have beer on draught! get to kno!

  • he clearly says raasclart..

  • if you'd listen you can hear the "D" and also... due to the fact that this is a sketch in which they mock stereotypes it would make sense for him to say draftsclart instead of raasclart... also raasclaat is usually used for something that's good... he wud say bumberclart if he was gonna insult the guy... use your head

  • he definitely says raasclart

  • lol say what you like... it's clearly draughtsclart... be wrong