Added: 2 years ago
From: ReligionIsACrutch
Views: 378,676
Sort by time | Sort by thread (beta)

Link to this comment:

Share to:
see all

All Comments (795)

Sign In or Sign Up now to post a comment!
  • i love his voice .. its from ratatouille .. love that movie *-*

  • Comment removed

  • there is no 3:13...this means it is ONLY sky cookies

  • I actually believe and i think that is funny as hell!!

  • The funniest part of this whole stand-up is that Patton looks like a fat butch lesbian.

  • @TimothyADonaghue Way to miss the point while also trying and failing at being funny.

  • @TimothyADonaghue and way to throw out a joke that patton says about himself all the time...you suck dude lol

  • yeah.... I like cake. BOOM! The old sky cake dodge! ROFL *DEAD*

  • i think obama is going to bring on the new dessert wars

  • Hilarious!

  • Comment removed

  • unless I read wrong,you said "the only way for there to be no food is for there to be no biological life".

    yet you said earlier fruits came before us. so if edible food sources came before us, I still find that an amzing coincidence that not only did plant life preceed us, life that required food stuff just so happened also to find its way to a planet that had ready food sources avaliable.I dont find that to be any small thing.

  • @glennjridge if someone claims there's a creator, they need evidence. Not just that there's a creator, but where it is, what it thinks/feels, how the it came into being, etc. Religions make assertions about these questions, but give no evidence, so the default position is atheism. The discussions aren't even really about god anyway, it's about the religious crap that people desperately want to believe in. If these same people were deists, we'd be talking about something else.

  • @headcrush the egos of these 'scientific atheists' is the biggest problem any discussion centered around religion faces.

  • @glennjridge Let's establish some things.

    1) Fruits are part of the life cycle of some plants, and plants are biological life.

    2) There are no specific 'edible food sources', because what is edible depends on the species.

    3) Life does not 'find its way' to a planet. It forms -on- the planet.

    4) -All- life requires 'food stuff'. It's a required trait of life.

    5) It would be a pathetic species to form without food sources. Maybe such species have formed, but they then died out instantly.

  • @glennjridge And in case it wasn't clear from the second point, Lucas was not contradicting himself. Only biological life regards a substance as food, something to take in and drain of energy and nutrients, so without biological life there is indeed no 'food'.

  • Religion: because science is overrated.

  • @dkthg or in plain terms. Religion: Because thinking is overrated. XD

  • oh yes....a random...mindless...cosmo's farted out life.....and it just so happened...fruit and vegetables. as if the concept of living beings wasnt amazing enough. its too much of a coincidence.

  • @glennjridge I cannot decipher what you're saying.

  • funny shit!!

  • I think im gonna have rape for dinner.

  • ahahahah WHY ARE YOU SO DELICIOUS??

  • My grandfather is an ordained minister and loves this bit! He's a man of true faith and has been since his youth. My father and all of his sibilings say he was a great dad. My grandmother worshiped him. He coached my first boxing team and all the guys still think he's the best. I mean, he is good, devout man of the Lord and loves this bit!

    He like PO in general, but rolls every time he hears this bit! It's odd to think he would find it funny, but he does. LMAO!

  • You people act as if, just because some pathetic stand up comic says this.......then it must be true.  If we are learning life advice from stand ups, no wonder this country is in this mess.

  • @TheGreekMan1981 yes, lets take life advices from people that read a book and think that all of it is true, and so, the governement should do everything that is writen in a book writen in the 4th century. Wait, my mistake. Religious people altought saying they are christians don't want the government to do everything in a 4th century book (new testament)...they want them to do everything in a 6th century BC book. You should ear the new Patton Oswalt CD by the way.

  • @mestresombra Yea, lets take advice from an overweight has been actor who brags about his extreme drug use. You can have him as your role model, but i'll pass

  • @TheGreekMan1981 you just talk without any kind of..of...thought. It's amazing actually how you manage to survive. "Extreme drug use". LOL. You don't even know this guy and any of his comedy do you? Better take advice from a real person than make believe characters in a story book writen to give some moral guidance, and instead, you've got idiots killing each other. "My god wrote a better book than yours!" "Well, my interpretation of the same book is holier than yours". Worst than youtube fights

  • @mestresombra

    My god has a bigger dick than your god.

  • @MetaI4Brains how dare you!!! You can see clearly in my book that my god has a bigger dick. It is writen that every time that he swirl it around, tornados pop up in the holiest places on this earth. I've clearly made my point and expect you to retract and admit that my god has the bigger dick.

  • @TheGreekMan1981 Why should we listen to you?

  • @mestresombra guess what motherfucker, NOBODY knows the fucking truth, alright? NOBODY knows what is true and false, everything we can possibly come up with is nothing more than a guess. arguing your view is irrelevant, because NOBODY knows anything

  • @thebigE32 the cake is a lie

  • @thebigE32 "guess what motherfucker, NOBODY knows the fucking truth, alright? NOBODY knows what is true and false"

    here you see that good ole atheist rational thinking in action. they are every bit as absurd and ignorant as the religious they complain about. dull,marilyn manson style nasty low IQ. they laugh at notions of virgin births yet not seeing life starting is a virgin birth itself.

  • @glennjridge Oh, the unmodest veracity of someone to say we are ignorant of unknowable forces! By golly, I wish we could just hang these damn agnostics before they uphold the truth on a silver wiki platter for all to see like in the good ol' Dark Ages!

  • @BeBoBli if I'm unmodest...you are doubly.after all, as an agnostic your company line is "you dont know" so you shouldnt take offense at my m,ilwarm comment.. after all I didnt say anything vulger. I simply said its quite the coincidence that the universe created the concept of life....and the concept of edible plants came along with that life on earth. theres nothing about persecuting agnostics. I have nothing to do with atheists/agnostics having chips on their shoulder.

  • @glennjridge Allow me to shed some light on why you are so offensive. are insulting to atheists who are merely asserting a belief, not a knowledge. And that belief is unrelated to abiogenesis. Then you misrepresent both with strawman arguments stating atheists and supporters of abiogensis believe things that they do not.

  • @BeBoBli you atheists are fond of dropping the word "abiogenesis" as if its going to do the work for you.

    like you can float on the brilliance of the word as if by association you are talking science and made a point. I ..however...made a valid point. abiogenesis has become like the religious's "God". you think if you just say it it explains everything. well, it doesnt. you cant tell me where gravity came from or edible plants. welcome to faith.wont stop you from preaching abiogenesis though.

  • @glennjridge

    I didn't say it explained anything. Nor did I say I even agreed with it! It's definitely a word with a meaning far different than you are claiming to have, but you won't even look it up. Abiogenesis accounts for nothing like faith, gravity or plant life. You are without mercy in regards to your endless idiocy.

  • @BeBoBli You clearly are just arguing to argue. your bored. on the one hand you drop the word abiogenesis as if I'm supposed to be impressed....and then you agree it doesnt explain anything. you are the worst kind of person to discuss with....the guy who doesnt even know what they believe at all. view just floating on the wind. and then you talk about my "idiocy". here we get a little taste of that world without religion you types are always talking about. its just as intolerant of others views.

  • @glennjridge Abiogenesis doesn't explain what you want it to, but you are expecting it will or at least are mocking it as if you think atheists look to it as the only answer. It is only an explanation for sentient life. Atheism isn't a belief; it is the lack of belief in any gods. An ideal world is one where people nose out of the proper science when they want things like scientifically valid theories to not be taught to our children.

  • @glennjridge

    Finally, what I believe DOESN'T MATTER. I'm just correcting all the horrendous presumptions you are making.

  • @BeBoBli of course what you believe doesnt matter. you dont know what you believe.

    in any case I simply talked about the coincidence that life was created and edible fruit and vegetables came along also...and you reffered to my "idiocy". you show a world without religion would be a case of "meet the new boss..just the same as the old boss".no difference. same old hatred of others view points, and need to slander. instead of war for religion it would be war for land,greed hate. you are proof.

  • @glennjridge Fruits and such came about before sentient beings that would eat them. Coevolution took place with those sentient beings eating those fruits for sustenance, and the fruits and vegetables evolved to cope with being eaten in a positive way, i.e. allowing for fertilization via excrement.

  • @LucasI3434 still an amazing coincidence. beings that require food and energy just so having a ready made natural food source there for them. its like a fish bowl. you can have the fish,the water, the landscape, but there requires an intervention from an outside force...humans.. to give them the food they needs to exist.if it was just fish, they would die. there has to be something that creates what is required for the life.

  • @glennjridge No it's not. We evolved to our surroundings, and those plants that were around us that would provide something for us. Our needs adapted to the foods, they weren't specially just for us, so your fish bowl analogy is moot.

    Regardless, modern day fruits are nothing like what they were millions of years ago. Today, we cultivate and manipulate them to fit our own needs, whereas long ago we... didn't. Look at banana's for example.

  • @LucasI3434 there wouldnt be much evolving if there just so happened not to be food for us in the enviroment.we are living beingsthat are natural beings... we require food sources. if they didnt just so happen to be there for the life....we wouldnt be lifeforms that dont require food...we would have been dead unable to exist as life.

  • @glennjridge That's why there's the gradual process of evolution. It's not like POOF we're here and POOF there's some food for you. Creatures from 10s of millions of years ago began to make due with there was around them to nourish themselves. Those that survived on what they ate, passed the genes they had to the next generation that would then also be able to eat that plant. Coevolution then took place in which the plants began to evolve to meet the fact that they're being eaten.

    con't.

  • @LucasI3434 *correction, a couple hundred million years ago

  • @glennjridge When the earliest homonid ancestors came about there were specific fruits that were available and evolved to BE eaten and have both parties benefit (we receive nutrients, and the seed becomes fertilized). This happened through gradual evolution. We didn't just poof into existence.

  • @glennjridge And, the only way for there to be no food is for there to be no biological life.

  • @TheGreekMan1981 you people act as if, just because it's in some ancient book that has no scientific evidence supporting it and billions of people disagreeing with it that.... it must be true.

  • @icommentonurstuff The laws of science are also written by men and since you think we are product of chance, how can we trust our own judgement. I am not here to debate you, because we both know we aren't changing our minds about our beliefs. So instead, I hope you and yours have a great Christmas and New Years. Take care

    P.S. Just for the record the Bible is heavily supported by science. If it weren't why are there many Christian Scientist? Oh well.....Take care

  • @TheGreekMan1981 wow. that's probably the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me in a youtube argument. hope you have a lovely holiday as well

  • @TheGreekMan1981 "Just for the record the Bible is heavily supported by science"

    That's hilarious in the extreme

  • @TheGreekMan1981

    There are not many Christian scientists.

  • @TheGreekMan1981

    The reason we are 'in this mess' is because you make these silly presumptions. Looking at the philosophical, scientific and rational reasoning behind theism, there is very little that is convincing to those concerned with it's validity. This is just a humorous observation of the matter.

  • omg that was funny!

  • 78 people dislike sky cake

  • Poetry.

    This is EXACTLY how and why religion came into existence.

  • how did they make cake without fire? Are we regressing technologically?

  • genius, I now like Patton Oswald

  • SKY CAKE!!!!

  • hey guys, has anyone heard the good word about the sky pudding?

  • patton oswalt is one of my favorites with Kevin Nealon and Jim Gaffigan

  • Devil's food vs. Angel cake?

  • Reddit sent me here~

  • Rape. It's what's for dinner.

  • This video's length is 3:14.

    This is a sign that Sky Pie must be the one true sky desert.

  • @Harvin12MVP YOU IDIOT! You can't even spell DESSERT right! You're too dumb to know that Sky Cookies are our TRUE savior.

  • If you are part of a sequence of 2 or more @ comments on youtube.. you failed.

  • flame war in comments, why?

  • This was the best explaination of how people missed the boat with religion ever...

  • "One of my ancestors !!! " why do Jews think they created Religion?

  • @benmoro No he thinks weaklings created religion.

  • @benmoro Your pretty retarded.

  • @thecrosby627 That's your argument!!

  • @benmoro Oswalt was not raised Jewish nor is he Jewish by ethnicity, what the fuck are you talking about?

  • @benmoro He said earlier in the video that he is an atheist.

    Atheist:Not Religious.

    Not Religious:Not Jewish

  • @asnabelgur He is of Jewish background. Most Comedians claim Atheism cos Religion is so trashed in the stand-up comedy. In the that field ppl (esp Comedians) will be considered idiots if they believe in any religion (SUPER idiots if they are comedians). So almost all Jewish comedians will claim some sort of atheism or Agnosticism.

  • 75 people want sky brownies.

  • IT"S CAKE MOTHERFUCKER YOU"RE DEAD!

  • oh sky cake. WHY ARE YOU SO DELICIOUS?

  • i didn't get the last part about the abortion clinics and stuff =/

  • @scubadubax

    Those are examples of religion ruining society.

  • @scubadubax

    The protesters are claiming those in the abortion clinics and clients are going to be denied cake.

  • Sky cake is yummy! Don't even ask me how I know, teehee. My next Advice from a Comic I'm totally hitting on Religion...gonna have a beer with Jesus.  Then he's gonna bust into a Dos Equis commercial because he's the most interesting carpenter in the world. Done!!!!

  • The interesting thing about christianity is that it actually deconstructs your natural desires. Jesus said "Take up your cross and follow me." Whereas every other religion on earth somehow serves to feed my ego and pride. Christ takes away my pride.

  • @l33tpwnzord "Whereas every other religion on earth somehow serves to feed my ego and pride."

    Doesn't sound like you've tried buddhism.

  • @headcrush

    Try really hard ... fast .... meditate .... all so that I can become super spiritual and prideful about it.

  • @l33tpwnzord I've never felt "pride" after meditating, that's the exact opposite point of it.

  • Or Judaism which teaches that humility is one of the most essential values a person needs to have

  • rape a day keeps the doctor away

  • I have a question- if they didn't have fire how did they know about cake?

  • @carcinomaangel Must have been one of those premonitions lol

  • "I did not spend my life not raping and killing people to not go up in the sky have cake... SKY CAKE! Haha. Pretty sure that's how most pent-up religious robots feel. Monotony can be shaken once restrictions are lifted. All it takes is a little clarity.

  • 2:25- 2:45 EZEKIEL!!

  • Comment removed

  • (continued...) I just realized it's the perfect religion, you get rape of virgins and sky cake. However, if you raped a married women you would be stoned, along with her if she doesn't scream to alert someone. Basically your stoned because you violated her husband's property.

    Another little known fact, The Bible allows as many wives as you can feed, clothe, and have sex with(exodus 21:10). One king had like 500 wives and 300 concubines (sex slaves)

  • Raping an unmarried women isn't seen as immoral to God, (otherwise you'd violate her husband's property ). She is actually forced to marry you after the rape b/c of God's law.

    Deuteronomy 22:28

    If a man is caught in the act of raping a young woman who is not engaged, he must pay fifty pieces of silver to her father. Then he must marry the young woman because he violated her, and he will never be allowed to divorce her.

    God would never allow such nonsense in his/her book.

  • @mrpayne123 you clearly misread the passage. Read it again. She's not forced to marry him; he's forced to marry her. Given the state of most marriages today, I'd be scared to death to rape anybody after reading this passage. Not that I'd do such a thing anyway, as I'm opposed to rape on principle.

  • @JimmyVermeer They're BOTH forced to marry b/c he took her virginity. "Then the man MUST MARRY the young women" Even if she didn't have to marry she'd be stoned for not being a virgin on her future wedding night by god's law. Also, why is there no punishment for the rape?

    These laws are unjust towards women, if a women was raped while married and she didn't scream to alert someone, she would be stoned(Deut 22:23). God also allowed fathers to sell their daughters as sex slaves (ex 21:7)

  • The sky cake is a lie...

  • christians don't judge patton oswalt. if you looked like him you would be an atheist too

  • @rhcprxbandits lol so what about the christians that are born with hammer toe and a hunchback? Guess they didnt put enough in the plate.

  • @SuperTim16 tim tim TIMMY!

  • Rape, it's whats for dinner.

  • One of the best comedians for me!

  • What a delightful way to tell about a story about people killing each other. Delicious baked goods always makes everything better.

  • Comment removed

  • This is his best joke in my opinion. Send this video to your friends Ò_Ó

  • 2:31 laughed tears

  • SKY CAKE DAMN IT!

  • Mmmmmm, rape.

  • Well what if there's rape for dinner in the sky?

  • @runedude65

    its SKY COOKIES MOTHER-FUCKER!!! I'LL KILL YOU!!!

  • this is a classic bit for me... It stuck with me forever. I'll never forget this.

  • Comment removed

  • Patton's analogy really puts religion in perspective...haha wow

  • yup that pretty much sums it up

  • Love that last "SKY CAKE!"

  • Now picture Remy the Rat giving this monologue

  • @broadwaymelody33 Remy: "It's CAKE motherfucker! YOU'RE DEAD!"

  • The cake is a lie.

  • Most of my relatives believe in sky cake wheras my spouse and I believe in sky brownies...so the dessert wars ensue whenever there's a family gathering?

  • TONIGHT WE DINE IN GROUND CAKE

  • @ZuKahta I'm having rape for dinner.

  • the thing I don't like is that he honestly thinks religion is necessary in morality and creating civilizations and all these other things. there's so many ways 2 annihilate this statement its not even funny. morality was an instinct that evolved in humans because we're almost helpless by ourselves but as a community we're much stronger and can protect our children better. from this, morality developed and became more complex. then someone got deluded and believed in fairy tales

  • @cruelbusiness1984 wow, go to a George Carlin if you want to criticize religion, go here if you want to see a guy make some funny jokes and not be a super douche towards peoples religion

  • @cruelbusiness1984

    all you just did right there was make a prequel to this comedy bit

  • Rape is the breakfast of champions.

    Also Oswalt's point is bullshit.

  • @kikosemmek so telling the truth in a metaphorical way is bullshit?

    wow...

  • @kikosemmek You my friend, are a fastigio.

  • Sky baklava is the only real sky dessert.

    Btw, Patton Oswalt is a comedian, not a theologian. And yet everyone seems to take him seriously; religious or not.

  • THE SKY CAKE IS A LIE!!!!

  • Oh sky cake....why are you so delicious?!

  • I took forever to get the 'sky cake is a lie' reference. That was poor nerdiness on my part.

  • I knew he was satanic

  • @Iam18yearsolddddd Patton Oswalt.....?

    Oh sky cake, why are you so delicious?

  • 67 people prefer sky baclava

  • is there sky pie? I like pie

  • dumb servile religious fucks.

  • I believe that there is something more to this life, but this is still damn funny and true.

  • Now no matter how you all may feel about how this applies to religion, i am pretty sure no one can disagree with the notion that this concept of "Sky Cake" applies to government and even more so to society. Every time i check in to the news on the government or the social scene i keep hearing about how someone with "lesser" power is trying to control other people who have "greater" power

  • The cake is a lie

  • @TheTechnicolorWeasel DON'T YOU SEE?! THE SKY CAKE IS A LIE!!!!!

  • This guy is RIGHT on the spot.

  • GLaDOS promises us all Sky Cake. O_O

  • Sky baklava!

  • @pitt5truct0r I finally realized I should just download this video and upload it to my iphone.

  • This makes more sense than the actual bible, aint that a bitch?

  • SKY CAKE!!

  • 65 people had rape for dinner

  • @heyidaroo

    dont you mean the didnt get it?

  • @Mikeybetts I think they were forced to eat rape for dinner

  • @heyidaroo 65 people think you're uncool for saying something everyone fucking says and is completely uncreative.

  • @runemaster123654 53 people seem to like what I said

  • The cake is a lie!

  • @xanadian9 AHAHAHAHAHA i get it =)

  • What the hell is he talking about? He can't be serious.

  • @paddymoep Lmao you're fucking stupid holy shit

  • @Gregd8888 This is far from being funny and even farther away from being smart.

    As your comment is.

  • @paddymoep I just checked your profile and apparently you're from germany, guess that's why you don't think it's funny. Germans have no sense of humor and neither do christians so if you're a german christian then this joke is especially unfunny.

  • @Gregd8888 I'm 99% atheist, also germans have the best sense of humour.

    You may (not) google this.

    Other countries are really easily pleased with this level of humour. I didn't find an american/british comedian that doesn't use the word " fucking " every minute or two. It's of course hard to comprehend how americans think, being a non-american. I'll just leave it like that. Naming our best comedians and cabaret artists wouldn't really be an argument.

    Well, at least i can enjoy both languages.

  • @paddymoep Lmao no one thinks germans are funny, you guys barely even have stand-up comedians. This joke is brilliant and completely true whether you think it's funny or not though. Maybe you just don't understand it because of the language barrier, idk.

  • @Gregd8888 The language barrier goes in one direction. Can you even speak german?

    Only that this is not the point of this discussion. I can perfectly understand both languages.

    BTW, stefan raab, serdar somuncu, dieter nuhr, georg schramm, volker pispers.

    To name some.

    Anyway, from my point of view it just looks like american are pleased with this kind of humour.

    I'm not. And i can't see anything funny in this joke. He couldn't name 10 different religions but feels the need to denounce them.

  • @paddymoep Uh no most americans wouldn't like a joke like this, that's why patton oswalt is called an alternative comedian. Most americans are ignorant christians and they probably wouldn't even understand this joke.

  • @Gregd8888 These few sentences could've shortened this conversation.

    It's your point of view that makes this joke funny. I couldn't think of it, and being surrounded ( except for my parents ) by atheists made me deem this unfunny.

    I like Patton Oswalt, however.(i think he kind of resembles goofy)

    But when i think of it ,and, in retrospect, think of the comedians that made some more "intelligent" (lacks a better word here) jokes/parodies of christians, i still can't find this really hilarious.

  • @paddymoep If you didn't find an american stand-up comedian who doesn't swear, you're not looking. Look up Kevin James. Boom! There you go! Stupid shit...

  • @lex224ification Almost as rare/hard to find between patton oswalt and the like as it is to find a german one who IS swearing.