Spider Cypher: MoonSoonMenu

[Copbait911]

yours is the best one besides foniks

[moonsoonmenu]

@Copbait911 Much appreciated man : )

[IEatHarlots]

Lmfao

[ma0ma0ma0]

good rhymes but you sound like you have a speech impediment

[moonsoonmenu]

@ma0ma0ma0 lol thanks I was kinda sick when I wrote this lol

[keshia1604]

That shit hot. 

[LugiThomsen]

Hey man nice lyrics :D.. but if i was you i would have a break at 1:21 and then start the "with this rime in gonna clime like a spider.." at 1:32 and end it at 1:43 as you does cause it seems you need to get your breath at that moment... but still very nice :D

[moonsoonmenu]

yea this was back in May. I still do think I need more breath control, but actually im taking a break from the rap thing right now an making beats, but check my newest rap out I think it's much better. Thanks

-Moon

[thomas2142]

hey dude... totally nice rap, sad it has'ent got more views ! but keep up the good work !

[moonsoonmenu]

much appreciated an I'll make sure to turn that "good work" into great work =)

[adamdcoleman]

yo fuck the pausethought fool son

you've got good lyrics keep working on them and keep making vids

[moonsoonmenu]

lol I haven't made a vid in a long time, so ima drop one soon, thanks.

[mssrulez]

So cool man! Shame Marvel have been bought out :(

[moonsoonmenu]

@mssrulez lol very true : (

[pausemental]

hey i'm just being honest.

[moonsoonmenu]

lol ok I don't ever do this since by outlandishly saying "WACK" you jump on the haters list, which is aite =) buuuuuut why am I wack? be more specific please.

[pausemental]

you dont usually do this eh.your delivery was weak to me I not trying to hurt your feelings dog fareal,I listen to cats like canibus, common, mos def, immortal technic, moka only,KRS 1, MASTA Ace, tribe etc etc .and your lyrics to me are just weak .. FUNNY how people opinionate and people try to brush them off with sayin.YOUR JUST HATIN.how about this.on myspace go to my page and battle me....msg me your space page I'll add you and then we will battle and I will show you why I called you wack.

[moonsoonmenu]

lol aye I have no problems with haters (not sayin u a hater) an I wasn't tryn to brush you off, im just sayin if you gonna say "WACK" then be more specific, which is why I asked for more feedback. If someone just says your "wack" then I don't know what you'd do, but I'd brush em off to the side. I'll work on delivery thanks...oh btw...check my newer stuff out an tell me if I got any better. I don't have myspace...sooo yea...if you wanna send me a vid of you or some link then go ahead.

-Moon

[pausemental]

yeah..I see how you'd assume that...BUT... I'm kinda blunt when it come to hip hop...anyways peace.

[pausemental]

WACK!

[moonsoonmenu]

LMAO gee thanks ; )

[CT2kX]

nice! really like it

posted mine today!

[daroundhero]

liked that

[YouIAmMusic]

tight bro

[moonsoonmenu]

thanks sub it up cuz ima get a lot better I need every subscriber I can get O_O lol

[KnoxieTy201]

dope!, i sub'd

[mctoope2]

yo man nice shit

[moonsoonmenu]

thanks you guys

[moonsoonmenu]

thanks

[Fido2011]

good entertainment my good friend....5/5*

check my version out an tell me what you think...

Fido I

[moonsoonmenu]

thanks bro I try =)

[Wayo7756]

good lyrics yo, the flow gets better and better as you go on making music..

[moonsoonmenu]

thanks Historian you gave really good advice an im honored you commented.

[shwanyeger]

pretty good man. keep it up

[moonsoonmenu]

Thanks stay up

[moonsoonmenu]

thanks stay up

[gloshglosh]

good work moonsoon! *****

[moonsoonmenu]

thanks bro

[AmyDaEmceeMusik]

DENG! Nice Rhymes!

Keep Flowing!

-Amy Da Emcee

[UnknownCrypt]

The only construct I can give out is work on recital speed. You've got good lines that fit well in the alotted time but they feel rushed. I wouldn't change words I'd just work on saying them faster with some flare. Good entry, good lyrics.

[moonsoonmenu]

appreciate it hommie

[moonsoonmenu]

thanks Unknown appreciate it.

[sixjohn85]

lol... that's some good advises u got..... hope that helps... cool rhymes... 5* keep it up!!!

[HistorianHimself]

Also, you can play with drawing out some words and not others (depending on the texture of the word). Overall, nice work! You seem to be having fun and there's good content going, which are the two most important things. Delivery can always be evolved and re-worked in a million different ways. Thanks for letting me know about this, I'm honored to be asked for feedback.

[HistorianHimself]

hah. 2:09 - mom?

I like that you're playing with your meter - going from fast rapid fire wordplay to a slower, more plodding cadence. That said, I'm not a huge fan of hearing words get drawn out, unless its in a really interesting way. Something you might try is dropping the word abruptly, counting a couple beats in your head, then dropping the next couple words more rapidly... it can sound dope, and will show off your ability to stay on time.

[spillinillin]

the verse is fuckin sick man... i agree with happybunny... your lyrics are sick... the delivery was tight but could've been cleaner... still got a 5 from me though...

-NoNcEnTs-

[HappyBunny001]

If you want critique....I'd say practice it more times before you make the video and try and do it from memory. Memorized lines although much harder to acquire are easier to preform than lines you read. There's no hesitation, and a take completely from memory comes across stronger. Although i sometimes am too lazy to memorize.

[moonsoonmenu]

lol did you just say I am too lazy to memorize!? your totally right! :D lol ok from now on I will make it a goal to memorize all my lines when presenting your right. Appreciate it thanks

[HappyBunny001]

wasn't saying you were too lazy....but the implication was there i guess. its a lot harder to memorize but some emcee told me you deliver memorized lines better and after watchin my memorized vs read spits i noticed he was right.....its mad hard and takes forever tho. You generally have to sit on written shit for a while till you have it memorized....patience is the hard part IMO.

[HappyBunny001]

Damn son....straight all the way through no stoppage!! thats hard ass shit to do! good stuff! :D

[moonsoonmenu]

lol thanks bro, don't think people got the lyrics tho... maybe they didn't get the "underrated like Air" line tho... O_O lol stay up

[moonsoonmenu]

really well thanks for the criticism...ima go harder my next vid for sure, just figured I'd do this one for fun an you obviously never heard my first vid lol

[Jihadism]

this might be the worst i've ever heard you rap.

[moonsoonmenu]

lol super true an you should see my next video I just wrote the bars too...xD that was my auntie, an I never even noticed her coming in the room lol stay up

[AJprotege]

Not one to judge but you can always go harder. :D 5 stars for your mom too. :D lol Now we know her - she should've come rapped too. hahaha just joking around. I liked it but like I mentioned... And I'll take my own advice so I'm sort of eating my words right now. Alright peace!