First video I have watched in a long time, that is truly honest but positive. Thanks! I am in recovery from anorexia and your videos are very very helpful. They are neither pro Ana or talking about your current state but more pro recovery. So thank you!
@KeepMovingForward11 Thank you SO much for watching and your kind words. This is the first video I posted on YouTube four years ago - I've made over 50 since, so I hope you'll take a look at some of the newer stuff in the series. All positive and all pro-recovery! Hope all is well for you!
You really NEVER get the urge to purge, starve, overexercise, hurt yourself or anything? My mom used to have an eating disorder (bulimia) before I was born (I'm 20) and I recently found out that she still struggles with it sometimes. She told me a few weeks ago that she has purged once or twice each year for pretty much all my life because of stressful times. Do you have that issue sometimes or do you really never have the urge anymore?
I also notice you're wearing dragonfly earrings...
@drallabmas Hi there! Thanks for watching - and yes, dragonfly earrings :). So I made this first video several years ago. I've been doing a series called Body Empowerment now for a few years. If you look at my latest three videos - I think it will help answer your questions (if you go to my channel, they are Body Empowerment 30, 31, and 32. To answer briefly here - I have not purged, starved, overexercised or hurt myself in 6.5 years, since I began my recovery. In the past year, I had a rough
@drallabmas (Part 2 of reply) ... time. I did experience the urge to want to purge or hurt myself, but I didn't partake in any of those behaviors. Instead, I sat with my feelings and experiences, worked with my therapist, and was able to work through the trying and difficult time without fully relapsing into eating disorder behavior. I made a decision when I began recovery 6.5 years ago, that purging/starving/hurting were not options, so I cope with my feelings during stressful times instead.
ive had eating disorders since i was 4years old, im 28 years old now with my own 4year old little girl. im terrified when im with my feelings, im numb and in denial at other times. my disease isolates me and has stolen so much. im so angry and out of control. ive had so much therapyi really dont know what else there is to uncover. i dont know why i cant stop. i want to be well. im so scared my daughter will find me with my heart stopped.i love her so much
Hi there! I was lucky to not have much tooth enamel loss or bad skin affects. The bigger issues for me were a little bit of hair loss, and tremendous affects to my digestive system. Overall, it was patience, time, and a serious faith in my body's ability to heal itself once I began to treat it well and with love. Does that make sense at all?
You are really brave to be so open. Thanks for stepping up to help people and provide support and inspiration. I don't have an eating disorder but I could still relate to this positive energy you put out there.
Hi there - no, I don't have urges to binge and purge anymore. Sometimes I still eat a little beyond being full...but I feel like anyone is capable of that once in a while, you know? The urges stopped with time, and patience, and practice. Like practicing NOT having them, does that make sense? And sitting with my feeling and emotions. It took a few years to be honest...but each day was and is a beautiful learning experience.
Read Explaining colours to a blind man. Not only will it enlighten many as to what living with a mental illness and an eating disorder is like, it also gives comfort to those sufferers who think there is no hope and that they are alone. It is very informative, sometimes shocking but also very funny in parts. All in all, a good read and highly recommended.
I'm starting to watch your videos now. they're great! i live on long island but i am closer to the city than the ANAD meetings on longisland. I'm really ready to get rid of my eating disorder. i have been in therapy and hospitalizations for the last few years..its like a cycle i cant seem to break though
Thanks for watching! I hope you will find them helpful. There are plenty others from times I've guest hosted on other channels, or when I used to collaborate on other channels. The newest two favorited videos on my page tell my "story" and background and list some helpful resources. Yes...it's a cycle. You can and will breakthrough. You're saying you're ready - therefore, you can do it.
Are you in the city? I was in therapy for a long time. Read a lot of books. But mostly, built the foundation for a sustainable recovery once I was ready to let go of my eating disorder. Have you watched any of my other videos?
Hi there! I'm not sure that there are any as of late. Last I spoke with the person who had been organizing them, they weren't happening. Have you checked their website?
i am bulimic.its so hard everytime i eat something i have to throw it up or i have to go run it off. i have been bulimic for 2 years and last year my parents found out. im scared because i want to get better but i feel like i cant.i thinking about just giving up because it just gets worse when i relapse. i cant stand food.when my parents arent around me i starve for 3 days then i binge then throw up. im scard
k. just wanted to check in and see that you were able to process some of this with someone on a regular basis. relapsing is scary. but it is not the end of the world. it is a reminder that we are all human. and that it's ok to run out and play in the grass and skin our knees. we know how to pick ourselves back up. that's why it's a relapse and not a full disorder - because when it's a relapse...it means we are in recovery and have the tools to continue to heal.
but im not the type of person tht asks for help from someone.nd my last relapse came near the end of school and its getting worse nd when i go to therapy i really dont talk.its frustrating because i am going to be going away to college in a year nd when i go to college. nd im just scared tht im goin to fall back in a habbit. nd get ina bad relationship because tht is wht i think started this nd my dad being abusive. i just scared to live on my own
hey hun. yah. living on your own can be scary. is there any space you feel safe talking about this? so often relapses come when we bottle emotions up inside and don't allow ourselves to express them.
i havent told people how i felt for years. when i was a child i went through alot. i had to go through things by myself with out anyone. i had to go through a death of my great grandma who gave up on life and i was so close to her nd i couldnt go to the funeral. tht was really hard then i had to go through things at home by myself. my mom was scared nd my sister is 7 years older than me nd was in college when he started verbal abuse with me. i had to put on a persona tht everything was okay.
I think that what your doing is awesome. I wish when I was going thru my recovery that something like this was around. I had an eating disorder for almost 9 years and have now been fully recovered for 3 years and feel I'm also in a really good space.
I'm a vegan now and that has made all the difference for me I don't crave those "trigger" foods anymore. I still have times were I over eat but I right away try to do something to take my mind away from it. I also try to give my self credit for how far I've come. I've also gone back to school and I'm majoring in Nutrition/Dietetics so that I can help others who suffer from ED's.
That's amazing!!! Yeah, I've been a vegetarian for the last year, and that has been a very positive thing for me as well. You're so spot on - self credit and helping others in return are parts of the key to a strong and healthy and consistent recovery!
I gained a lot of weight when I was bulimic in high school. It took many years to begin to let go of that weight. At this point, I trust that my body will take its natural course as and when its ready. I'm more concerned with my internal happiness and my every day healthy relationship with food than the fact that you or anyone else thinks I'm chubby.
i don't think you're chubby, you are! but that's what i was trying to understand and you answered that perfectly ; you don't care anymore...
and if you are not concerned with what anybody thinks than why are you here?
do you seriously think you are helping anybody? when anybody sees that after healing from your ed you get fat it's not very motivating to stop, you see....good luck anyway!
I respect your thoughts and honesty. I'm going to make a video addressing your comments. I got fat FROM my ED - I gained weight because I was and when I was bulimic. Therefore, part of the recovery struggle has been to get rid of the weight. I do care of course - but only about how I FEEL about my body. Obviously I would like to get rid of the excess weight that accumulated years ago...and while I could find your comments offensive and cry about it, instead, you have motivated a new video.
thank you for your honest answer, it really touched me, i'm really looking forward to your new video, i didn't want to be offensive if that's how you perceived my remark, i truly hope you will achieve whatever you want in life, good luck
We need more stories of girls tryn to recover,so true about how alot of the vids r about girls who have an ED but not really trying or taking steps to break free, they are sharing their ED thoughts, their binges etc which on one hand is good to watch as u dont feel so alone but on the other hand is so bad to watch because it just puts u back in that distorted frame of mind if u know wat I mean.I try just watch recovery vids now as I am trying to recover from bulimia myself.Thanku.
omg! good for you! im try'n to et to a point of recovery like you. could you post on my site once andd a wile? my site is pro recovery for eating disorders, and other things as well.
you star! thanks, this is such a great change from most of the vids on here. i'm bulimic and trying to recover and i'm so pleased to hear it really can be done as it never really feels possible. cheers x
thank you so much for your video! it's so good to hear that recovery is possible! i'm 15 and currently struggling to overcome my own anorexia. i eat resonably now, 1500 calories a day, but am still very afraid of food and weight gain. i'm underweight and i like it far too much. but my main problem right now is that i can not stop obsessivly counting calories. do you have any advice for me? thank you sooo much! :)
First video I have watched in a long time, that is truly honest but positive. Thanks! I am in recovery from anorexia and your videos are very very helpful. They are neither pro Ana or talking about your current state but more pro recovery. So thank you!
KeepMovingForward11 2 months ago
@KeepMovingForward11 Thank you SO much for watching and your kind words. This is the first video I posted on YouTube four years ago - I've made over 50 since, so I hope you'll take a look at some of the newer stuff in the series. All positive and all pro-recovery! Hope all is well for you!
Cavernchick 2 months ago
You really NEVER get the urge to purge, starve, overexercise, hurt yourself or anything? My mom used to have an eating disorder (bulimia) before I was born (I'm 20) and I recently found out that she still struggles with it sometimes. She told me a few weeks ago that she has purged once or twice each year for pretty much all my life because of stressful times. Do you have that issue sometimes or do you really never have the urge anymore?
I also notice you're wearing dragonfly earrings...
drallabmas 1 year ago
@drallabmas Hi there! Thanks for watching - and yes, dragonfly earrings :). So I made this first video several years ago. I've been doing a series called Body Empowerment now for a few years. If you look at my latest three videos - I think it will help answer your questions (if you go to my channel, they are Body Empowerment 30, 31, and 32. To answer briefly here - I have not purged, starved, overexercised or hurt myself in 6.5 years, since I began my recovery. In the past year, I had a rough
Cavernchick 1 year ago
@drallabmas (Part 2 of reply) ... time. I did experience the urge to want to purge or hurt myself, but I didn't partake in any of those behaviors. Instead, I sat with my feelings and experiences, worked with my therapist, and was able to work through the trying and difficult time without fully relapsing into eating disorder behavior. I made a decision when I began recovery 6.5 years ago, that purging/starving/hurting were not options, so I cope with my feelings during stressful times instead.
Cavernchick 1 year ago
@drallabmas (Part 3 of reply)...hope that helps answer your question! And I do hope you'll take a look at my three newest videos! Best, Caroline
Cavernchick 1 year ago
omgg, you are amazing and so strong and this really helps. i've had an eating disorder since I was 11, you are such an inspiration.
jami215 1 year ago
@jami215 I'm so glad this was helpful. Hang in there! And keep watching! Thanks!
Cavernchick 1 year ago
ive had eating disorders since i was 4years old, im 28 years old now with my own 4year old little girl. im terrified when im with my feelings, im numb and in denial at other times. my disease isolates me and has stolen so much. im so angry and out of control. ive had so much therapyi really dont know what else there is to uncover. i dont know why i cant stop. i want to be well. im so scared my daughter will find me with my heart stopped.i love her so much
vandam2711 2 years ago
Hi...thank you so much for watching and commenting and sharing your story. You can be well. And you will. Wanting is half the journey...
Cavernchick 2 years ago
How did you overcome the physical effects left behind? tooth enamel loss, bad skin, etc?
stuckinthisplace11 2 years ago
Hi there! I was lucky to not have much tooth enamel loss or bad skin affects. The bigger issues for me were a little bit of hair loss, and tremendous affects to my digestive system. Overall, it was patience, time, and a serious faith in my body's ability to heal itself once I began to treat it well and with love. Does that make sense at all?
Cavernchick 2 years ago
You are really brave to be so open. Thanks for stepping up to help people and provide support and inspiration. I don't have an eating disorder but I could still relate to this positive energy you put out there.
mmeeccss 2 years ago
Thank you so much for watching and sharing your message! I hope all is well for you - love and light and thanks!
Cavernchick 2 years ago
you don't have any urges anymore? how did you do that? how long did it take you?
brightXdarkness 2 years ago
Hi there - no, I don't have urges to binge and purge anymore. Sometimes I still eat a little beyond being full...but I feel like anyone is capable of that once in a while, you know? The urges stopped with time, and patience, and practice. Like practicing NOT having them, does that make sense? And sitting with my feeling and emotions. It took a few years to be honest...but each day was and is a beautiful learning experience.
Cavernchick 2 years ago
well done
sweet girl!!!
I am so impressed
well done!!
I wish you find your way in life to love your self deeply and unconditionally, and fullfil your potentials!
my best wishes
llllllldanaellllllll 2 years ago
Thank you so much!!! I hope all is well for you! xoxo, Caroline
Cavernchick 2 years ago
doesnt really seem like there's any hope...
arabuck33 2 years ago
why do you say that?
Cavernchick 2 years ago
This has been flagged as spam show
Read Explaining colours to a blind man. Not only will it enlighten many as to what living with a mental illness and an eating disorder is like, it also gives comfort to those sufferers who think there is no hope and that they are alone. It is very informative, sometimes shocking but also very funny in parts. All in all, a good read and highly recommended.
hsttraindriver 2 years ago
I'm starting to watch your videos now. they're great! i live on long island but i am closer to the city than the ANAD meetings on longisland. I'm really ready to get rid of my eating disorder. i have been in therapy and hospitalizations for the last few years..its like a cycle i cant seem to break though
ninetyfivepounds 3 years ago
Thanks for watching! I hope you will find them helpful. There are plenty others from times I've guest hosted on other channels, or when I used to collaborate on other channels. The newest two favorited videos on my page tell my "story" and background and list some helpful resources. Yes...it's a cycle. You can and will breakthrough. You're saying you're ready - therefore, you can do it.
Cavernchick 3 years ago
No I havent. i just know they have ones on long island but those are kind of far for me. How did you get over your ED? just like therapy and stuff?
ninetyfivepounds 3 years ago
Are you in the city? I was in therapy for a long time. Read a lot of books. But mostly, built the foundation for a sustainable recovery once I was ready to let go of my eating disorder. Have you watched any of my other videos?
Cavernchick 3 years ago
where are the ANAD meetings in new york?
ninetyfivepounds 3 years ago
Hi there! I'm not sure that there are any as of late. Last I spoke with the person who had been organizing them, they weren't happening. Have you checked their website?
Cavernchick 3 years ago
i am bulimic.its so hard everytime i eat something i have to throw it up or i have to go run it off. i have been bulimic for 2 years and last year my parents found out. im scared because i want to get better but i feel like i cant.i thinking about just giving up because it just gets worse when i relapse. i cant stand food.when my parents arent around me i starve for 3 days then i binge then throw up. im scard
bubbaondalose 3 years ago
Are you seeing anyone for help? Doctors, therapists, etc?
Cavernchick 3 years ago
yes i go to a theripist once a week
bubbaondalose 3 years ago
k. just wanted to check in and see that you were able to process some of this with someone on a regular basis. relapsing is scary. but it is not the end of the world. it is a reminder that we are all human. and that it's ok to run out and play in the grass and skin our knees. we know how to pick ourselves back up. that's why it's a relapse and not a full disorder - because when it's a relapse...it means we are in recovery and have the tools to continue to heal.
Cavernchick 3 years ago
but im not the type of person tht asks for help from someone.nd my last relapse came near the end of school and its getting worse nd when i go to therapy i really dont talk.its frustrating because i am going to be going away to college in a year nd when i go to college. nd im just scared tht im goin to fall back in a habbit. nd get ina bad relationship because tht is wht i think started this nd my dad being abusive. i just scared to live on my own
bubbaondalose 3 years ago
hey hun. yah. living on your own can be scary. is there any space you feel safe talking about this? so often relapses come when we bottle emotions up inside and don't allow ourselves to express them.
Cavernchick 3 years ago
i havent told people how i felt for years. when i was a child i went through alot. i had to go through things by myself with out anyone. i had to go through a death of my great grandma who gave up on life and i was so close to her nd i couldnt go to the funeral. tht was really hard then i had to go through things at home by myself. my mom was scared nd my sister is 7 years older than me nd was in college when he started verbal abuse with me. i had to put on a persona tht everything was okay.
bubbaondalose 3 years ago
I think that what your doing is awesome. I wish when I was going thru my recovery that something like this was around. I had an eating disorder for almost 9 years and have now been fully recovered for 3 years and feel I'm also in a really good space.
sanzo5 3 years ago
Hi there! Thanks so much for watching. Congrats on where you're at. What sorts of things do you do to maintain your recovery?
Cavernchick 3 years ago
I'm a vegan now and that has made all the difference for me I don't crave those "trigger" foods anymore. I still have times were I over eat but I right away try to do something to take my mind away from it. I also try to give my self credit for how far I've come. I've also gone back to school and I'm majoring in Nutrition/Dietetics so that I can help others who suffer from ED's.
sanzo5 3 years ago
That's amazing!!! Yeah, I've been a vegetarian for the last year, and that has been a very positive thing for me as well. You're so spot on - self credit and helping others in return are parts of the key to a strong and healthy and consistent recovery!
Cavernchick 3 years ago
I love you!
amaraca 3 years ago
i actually think that lovelysit really doesn't know. good idea bout the new vid. maybe they'll take notes.
nmb232 3 years ago
you say you have no ed anymore but you're like chubby now, are you going to loose some weight again or you don't mind anymore?
lovelyslt 3 years ago
I gained a lot of weight when I was bulimic in high school. It took many years to begin to let go of that weight. At this point, I trust that my body will take its natural course as and when its ready. I'm more concerned with my internal happiness and my every day healthy relationship with food than the fact that you or anyone else thinks I'm chubby.
Cavernchick 3 years ago
i don't think you're chubby, you are! but that's what i was trying to understand and you answered that perfectly ; you don't care anymore...
and if you are not concerned with what anybody thinks than why are you here?
do you seriously think you are helping anybody? when anybody sees that after healing from your ed you get fat it's not very motivating to stop, you see....good luck anyway!
lovelyslt 3 years ago
I respect your thoughts and honesty. I'm going to make a video addressing your comments. I got fat FROM my ED - I gained weight because I was and when I was bulimic. Therefore, part of the recovery struggle has been to get rid of the weight. I do care of course - but only about how I FEEL about my body. Obviously I would like to get rid of the excess weight that accumulated years ago...and while I could find your comments offensive and cry about it, instead, you have motivated a new video.
Cavernchick 3 years ago
thank you for your honest answer, it really touched me, i'm really looking forward to your new video, i didn't want to be offensive if that's how you perceived my remark, i truly hope you will achieve whatever you want in life, good luck
lovelyslt 3 years ago
gross you jerk
latergater567 3 years ago
Hi! Good 4 u!
We need more stories of girls tryn to recover,so true about how alot of the vids r about girls who have an ED but not really trying or taking steps to break free, they are sharing their ED thoughts, their binges etc which on one hand is good to watch as u dont feel so alone but on the other hand is so bad to watch because it just puts u back in that distorted frame of mind if u know wat I mean.I try just watch recovery vids now as I am trying to recover from bulimia myself.Thanku.
huggypugo 3 years ago
Thanks for watching! Be well in your journey of recovery, and always. Peace and love to you!
Cavernchick 3 years ago
omg! good for you! im try'n to et to a point of recovery like you. could you post on my site once andd a wile? my site is pro recovery for eating disorders, and other things as well.
girlwithoutaface 3 years ago
I shall hun! I just posted a comment - just thanking you for subscribing. But I will certainly keep checking in! Best to you, Caroline
Cavernchick 3 years ago
you star! thanks, this is such a great change from most of the vids on here. i'm bulimic and trying to recover and i'm so pleased to hear it really can be done as it never really feels possible. cheers x
confusedconcern 4 years ago
I am bulimic and it hell. girls don't do it.
it's hel
shadsills 4 years ago
Thanks for sharing!
danceanywhere 4 years ago
Your an inspiration to us all!
LadyTash80 4 years ago
cool video <3 Good luck
frooshh2 4 years ago
This has been flagged as spam show
FOR ANYONE WHO IS STRUGGLING WITH AN EATING DISORDER-WATCH & SUBSCRIBE TO MY VIDEOS. I'VE BEEN THROUGH IT ALL..
thanks
loveashhhh 4 years ago
thank you so much for your video! it's so good to hear that recovery is possible! i'm 15 and currently struggling to overcome my own anorexia. i eat resonably now, 1500 calories a day, but am still very afraid of food and weight gain. i'm underweight and i like it far too much. but my main problem right now is that i can not stop obsessivly counting calories. do you have any advice for me? thank you sooo much! :)
boredloner 4 years ago
Hey there! Check out video 3. I hope it helps! You are on your way! 15 is a hard age no matter what. Stay strong. It's small steps at a time.
Cavernchick 4 years ago
I really like your smile =)
Yay for gratitude for the food provided by the garden and earth as fuel for our bodies :-)
crystalAura 4 years ago
good for you! i live right by highland park btw. (:
butterflymle 4 years ago
I hope full recovery exists - i hope it more than anything 'coz im really struggling.
lilkel86 4 years ago
Hey there...just as I said above...I've responded to your comment in video 3. All the best...much peace, love and Light.
Cavernchick 4 years ago
You seem like such a good person, and I'm so glad you're doing this. Thank you!
salmonroses 4 years ago