Zero Punctuation: Tomb Raider Anniversary

[TechUnadept]

how long has it been?

[captainstudley]

your plan kind of fell apart there, yahtzee..... XDDD

[realbritishpunk]

ooooooooooooooooooh wont you take me home tonight....ooooooooooooooooooo­ooh down beside your red firelight.....................­...oooooooooooooooooooooooh if you give it all you got...FAT BOTTOM GIRLS YOU MAKE THE ROCKIN WORLD GO ROUND!

[misterwishart]

( o )( o )

[YouGuysAreAHoles]

@misterwishart You like 'em puffy and spherical, I like 'em perky ( . Y . )

[MforMogul]

trivia : lauras tit were that large due to an accident when one of the devs made them 150% by accident but then they decided to leave it like that instead :)

[hedgehoundable]

He forgot Gazungas.

[DustyPengwin]

Jubblies.

[victorsheart]

Stonking. Great. Tits.

[alexchris32]

if this was not a zero punctuation cideo

i would just pause at 0:21

[alirocker08]

OMG, I first heard that tits speech ripped onto a Phoenix Wrong thing, great to finally find its original source :')

[TheRogueVocaloid]

the end made me giggle SO HARD.

STONKING GREAT TITS.

[UnIKrafTr]

fuck, I thought you were reviewing simon from the thumbnail...

[Patterrz]

Oh well, he almost made it.

[DarlingShivar]

*howling with laughter by the end*

[jessealien12]

2x4 broading hugh melon giggley's

[Tetrissius]

Stonking great tits

My first game i make will be named like that, and it WILL be about a chef with a lizar-TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITS

[theqman24]

hey look a comment that ISN'T responded to 0x28

[LazyMan9000]

3:23 - I would cheerfully like to have this on a T-shirt, thank you.

[123ollyb]

From the first mention of "no breast jokes" I could see where the ending was going.

[BriPod90]

All problems are solved with stonking great tits.

[Scel671]

I don't understand one word, but the graphics are very cool...greetings from Germany =D

[serventofchaos]

man i just sitting back watching this arguement already on my second bag of popcorn, keep it up!

[0x28]

Shit man I just used up 18 minutes writing this. lol

[mechaart]

XD LOL

[Zillionatom]

He gave up at the end!

[london25678]

I always wondered where that quote came from.

[GurniHallek]

@london25678 "I must not fear, fear is the mind killer"? It's from "Dune" by Frank Gerbert. Good book.

[london25678]

@GurniHallek No, I mean the audio. I've heard it in a flash video collection before.

[anonomous1324]

At least there are still some female characters with badass tendencies without the obligatory carpet-munching.

In Skyward Sword, Zelda acts like a somewhat flirty old friend/girlfriend, but scares the big tough prick, survives being thrown to earth from above cloud elevation, jumps over a 15 foot wide deathpit in a dress, and the player spend at least the first three dungeons (I have only played that far) playing catch up after she has already cleared said dungeons herself.

[Apatheon]

STONKING

GREAT

TITS

[smallbeans1]

wtf 

[ThwartAbyss54]

@LightArrow35 We all just figured you were fantasizing about her..... thighs

[SonOfDragons]

Thanks, now I know I wasn't the only one on the edge of losing my social skills when I was lauging every single time I broke her spine when I missed a jump XD

[souleater19999]

XD u lied

[catgeeks]

well that resolution bit the dust

[hDCOREGAmer]

one dislike..... emmmmm lock's like miss lara watch youtube

[shadowheart52]

This guy is a broken record. I use to be amused by his reviews, now I see they really don't say anything at all, do they?

[mongolianape]

he couldnt do it,could he?

[hentaisexfreak4life1]

awesome video here wow cool

[INTHEHONOROFROCK]

So you hate tombraider anniversary?

[geekjacob1]

u failed

[Buretsu]

Press 9 for jubblies and stonking great tits.

[epixbrit]

the jam :D

[FredericoCoelhoNunes]

aahahahahaahahah

[0x28]

No one can come up with new ideas: COD series.

[6038am]

@0x28 i am sorry to burst your bubble but ever heard of Battlefield 1942 Deset Combat? and cod is just the same as Medal of Honor. I play and love the Battlefield series (NOT bad company 1 or 2 or heros). i tryed cod and it is just goryfied cs that is as hard as playing paladin in wow.

[0x28]

@6038am You play WoW? My god you are sad. lol

[SeaThrewTheKnight]

@0x28 What's wrong with WoW?

[0x28]

@SeaThrewTheKnight If you're asking that question, you should feel sorry for yourself.

[SeaThrewTheKnight]

@0x28 My guess is that you've never tried it, and have just gone along with the proclaimed "it's nerdy". Try it before you judge it, it's actually very fun.

[0x28]

@SeaThrewTheKnight Eh no. I tried it for one month but I have better things to do with my life than gaming. I don't live with mommy.

[SeaThrewTheKnight]

@0x28 I'm glad you gave it a shot then, but I suppose those better things you do with life are insult games on Youtube. Prestigious!

[0x28]

@SeaThrewTheKnight Eh no, it's studying every hour of the day with 10 minute breaks. You think university is a joke? I suppose you ought to try it. Those at my uni that play WoW, guess what happens? Yep, they become the "group who fails classes". No one wants to be a sightless loser.

[UkeFoxx]

@0x28 Says the guy arguing with people on youtube over pixelated men in tight shorts and giant hammers. Some people study, some people game, some people knit and some people dress up in fox costumes and wank in the mirror. If you're better than them as you clearly think you are you don't go around being a massive twat, you scoff and move on.

[0x28]

@UkeFoxx Aw someone's jealous.

[SeaThrewTheKnight]

@0x28 Well jeez, sorry to offend you, but that doesn't sound like much of a life. Maybe you should consider giving yourself more time for you. I'd also like you to know I am a straight A student (still in highschool, but 95% and up in all classes) and I still manage to do the things I like, and I do study a lot. I can't say I know what it's like in University, but I can say you can balance it all out; you don't need to spend all your time on school work. No one wants to be a lifeless loser.

[0x28]

@SeaThrewTheKnight You make me laugh lol. You do realize that all your highschool A's (I had all A+'s everywhere) turn into C's at university, right? Stop dreaming man. Reality has come. My average grade is a C, because they're rough at grading students at a university. Don't forget that the university itself stipulates that you must study at least 65 hours per week if you want to pass at all. A lifeless loser is someone who doesn't study and who will fail his classes, ending up frying burgers.

[PainInTheAssInternet]

@0x28

No one said anything about not studying. They were speaking about having fun. Not omitting university life. Don't be bitter, it just makes you look like a prick.

[0x28]

@PainInTheAssInternet Shuck ma cawk, beesh.

[PainInTheAssInternet]

@0x28

While I was confused at first at this response, I am glad to know that basic immaturity remains. This is not an insult, but rather relief, knowing that you are exaggerating your university life being lifeless bookworming. No one does that. Otherwise, it's a waste of time. Your post has assured me the opposite.

[0x28]

@PainInTheAssInternet Your post has reassured me that you have never set foot in a university campus. You have no idea how hard it is to pass. If you want to be a drugged, lazy idiot like most of the people here, go ahead. I am quite sure you have never learned discipline (which you need for university!). Bookworming is not lifeless. It's full of life! It's building character. If you think no one does that then again, I confirm, you have never set foot into a university.

[0x28]

@PainInTheAssInternet How the fuck do you expect to pass advanced math such as calculus 3, chaos math and combinatory matrices? I talked to my principal about this by the way. People who say that they 'never study' or 'hardly study' are big fat liars. University life is hard. Reality is hard. The uni board expects us to study 60 hours per week. I do just that. I let go of the hobbies I had. No gym. No going out. Nothing. Just books. Why? I want to have a fucking future.

[PainInTheAssInternet]

@0x28

You can be taught to recite all the numbers and formulas, but if you don't enjoy it, then what are you living for the future for? And nice try at painting me as un undisciplined numbskull. Some people have differing philosophies that don't adhere to the strict policy of numerically justifying life. While education is important, so is enjoyment. If you cannot enjoy life during your education or what it leads to, you may wish to reconsider your choices.

[0x28]

@PainInTheAssInternet Did you never learn in advanced English class at uni that you are supposed to write as short and simple as possible? Using words like 'adhere', 'numbskull', 'justifying' is called 'redundancy' and 'over-writing'. So many grammatical redundancies man. I guess you didn't know that because you didn't pay attention in English class. Here, let me help you: home.snu.edu/~hCULBERT/cheklis­t.htm You have a couple of those errors. :)

[PainInTheAssInternet]

@0x28

And did you ever take a class that you genuinely enjoyed or did you just take them because A) your parents wanted you to B) you looked at them and saw that the jobs they lead to pay exceptionally well or C) because you are more interested in the prestige?

Given the fact that you spend your time trying to assure someone who is not a below-average student that they are a failure for the audacity of having a life outside academia suggests that you aren't enjoying yourself.

[0x28]

@PainInTheAssInternet I am taking this major (Computer Science) because I like to work with computers. Granted, some of the courses are completely against my will (math, database management, corporate management), but hey, one can't like everything. I am very much interested in the prestige, yes. It possibly makes one happier in life to be wealthy, right? I saw enough people around me that have miserable lives because their crappy jobs can barely pay rent.

[PainInTheAssInternet]

@0x28

So you enjoy computers. Focus on that benefit. And wealth does enable one to have fun, but fun isn't reliant on wealth. Stability, sure. And one can be leading the generation without being isolated from it, if you are worried about underachieving.

And the people I met in my job stocking shelves (yes I worked in a supermarket) were among the cheeriest people I have ever met.

[0x28]

@PainInTheAssInternet Everyone knows that you have to bite the sour apple at uni. It is better to have the short pain (9 to 11 years of studying (doctorate)) than to have the 40 year long pain of working shit jobs and having an unbalanced and financially poor life. Yes, you know what I'm talking about. We're all rats in a maze, looking for the cheese at the end of the tunnel. Uni is just preparation. It's at a job where you learn most of the real things.

[PainInTheAssInternet]

@0x28

Of course you study far more than you would at high school. I never said I didn't. But you're stating that it is a necessity to omit any social activity. Has anyone not only stating that your outlook is not only bleak, but wrong? I am no liar and no fool. And yes, this is how I speak to my friends and family, for better or for worse.

[0x28]

@PainInTheAssInternet It might not be a necessity to others, but it is to me. I lack time. The academic lectures already steal most of my day. I need days alone to study. I'm not good at processing data in realtime. Besides, I am fine with omitting social activity. I hate people.

[PainInTheAssInternet]

@0x28

There are people just like you out there. And you may want to tone back a little on the courses. Spread it out more. Give you time to actually absorb them instead of acknowledge them. Learn them in their abstract forms. How can they be applied to unusual situations? How can they innovate. If you're this dedicated, you can be that guy.

[PainInTheAssInternet]

@0x28

The concept of a "shit job" is a completely objective one. I've seen happy people stocking shelves at supermarkets and miserable people in offices. Would you enjoy being a doctor? For the job or the money? Since I am not in the maths, I cannot state an example of me that would validate any attempt at comparing our lives. So let's go with my sister and my girlfriend, who are in veterinary sciences and life sciences respectively.

[PainInTheAssInternet]

@PainInTheAssInternet

My mistake. I meant to say "subjective."

[PainInTheAssInternet]

@PainInTheAssInternet

Bear in mind that I am a little groggy right now, in case you are looking for more errors.

[0x28]

@PainInTheAssInternet Well, it is etiquette not to talk about personal things with strangers, but ok.

[PainInTheAssInternet]

@0x28

It helps you understand that I am not talking out of my arse.

[PainInTheAssInternet]

@0x28

My sister initially went to the United States (we're Canadian) to start her university life. Do you know why she chose this particular university? Because she would have been on their volleyball team. That was the primary justification. According to you, a waste of time. But at that place, she met her boyfriend, a British fellow.

[PainInTheAssInternet]

@0x28

He was on exchange from his university in the UK. He knew that she loved animals, so he suggested the biological sciences program at his university. The next year, she found herself in the UK studying biological sciences, building up the requirements to go to veterinary school back here. She's still there, but next year, she will be going to the university here to become a veterinary doctor.

[PainInTheAssInternet]

@0x28

While over there, she had been promoted at the start of this year to the Manager, Captain and Coach of a 40-person team of volleyball players (of an admittedly small league). She loves it. And she took the opportunity to puddle-jump all over Europe. And she's still doing well because she enjoys it enough that her mind retains the knowledge, more than enough to pass.

[PainInTheAssInternet]

@0x28

She looks forward to the future, not for a paycheck since human doctors generally get paid more, but because she gets to do what she loves. She loves to help animals. And all she did to start this was get on a volleyball team.

[PainInTheAssInternet]

@0x28

My girlfriend was similar to you. After finals last year, she kept calculating her averages over and over again, every 5 minutes. She was obsessed, paranoid. Safe to say, I was a bit annoyed with her behaviour. It was out of her hands at that point, I knew that she was going to get a higher-than-90 average, but there she was. Calculator in hand. Marks came in. 93 average.

[PainInTheAssInternet]

@0x28

She's now in life sciences. This is the point where you say "A-ha! So she has become completely dedicated to her work. Speaking to you less, seeing you less, if at all." Well yes and no. She's no longer in the same area, but we see each other every weekend. We speak regularly throughout the week. Not only that, but she takes time to hang out with friends on campus, going out for food, entertainment, hanging out for no other reason than company. Yet she does well.

[0x28]

@PainInTheAssInternet My girlfriend is a doctor (she's doing a doctorate now) and she studies so often and so much that she actually smashes her head against the wall now and then and drinks more coffee than.. I don't know. We usually also see each other every weekend, but now I stopped doing that for a while because these little weekend visits gave me C grades. I literally need entire days to study. The weekend included.

[PainInTheAssInternet]

@0x28

She may need you. Now is not the time to neglect her. And you may need her. Keep you both in check. And we (myself and my girlfriend) study while in each other's presence. It relaxes us, lets us know that we're there for each other. And yes, I know that sounds corny. Please no mockery for that.

[0x28]

@PainInTheAssInternet Your girlfriend must be lucky then; just like mine. My girlfriend had 34 cum laudes (that means 100% on every medical subject. Her whole medical career, 100% average). I don't know how she does it. I would need an entire year to get maybe 90% on a course. I'm not a superbrain like her. Friends? People suck man. Nowadays, people only talk to you out of selfishness. After that, they backstab you and drop you like a rock. Welcome to life. lol

[PainInTheAssInternet]

@0x28

That she is. And driven. And don't think of friends as the typical frat person. My friend, who is 4 months my junior, plays with LEGO, goes on and on about Transformers, his mind goes through thoughts at hundreds of miles an hour. He's a strange man, which is why I so enjoy his friendship. He's going to university to become an engineer.

[0x28]

@PainInTheAssInternet Hm.. my cousin once told me I'm a faggot for befriending 9 year olds on xbox live. What's wrong with that? If the person is nice to you, then nothing is wrong. I didn't even know they were 9. Sometimes the younger people are nicer. I think that is partially because they haven't dealt with the cynicism that goes around in adults..

[PainInTheAssInternet]

@0x28

Befriend whom you enjoy being around, that's my best advice. And cynicism occurs when we focus on the darker aspects of life. Are they frequent? They're always present. Do they suck? Undoubtably. Should we let them consume us? No. I did once. Still do on occasion. But quite frankly, I can no longer afford to. I have a girlfriend whom with I am very much in love. My family loves me, I enjoy my friends. When university gets bad, I go to them. People aren't all worthless.

[PainInTheAssInternet]

@0x28

Now explain to me how you became so bleak. I refuse to believe that one can have no social contact and remain sane.

[0x28]

@PainInTheAssInternet You assumed I am sane, which I am not.

[PainInTheAssInternet]

@0x28

It's good to know you have a sense of humour.

[PainInTheAssInternet]

@0x28

And no, I am not failing classes, before you try that again.

[0x28]

@PainInTheAssInternet Then I have every confidence that you are barely passing them. Even if you say you have good grades, I know you haven't. A university principal has experience with students. He knows better. He knows students are big fat ego trippers. Either you are part of the 0,000001% of the geniuses in the population, or you are an average student, or just a big fat liar. I have to study an entire week on one single subject, to get something as little as a C+.

[PainInTheAssInternet]

@0x28

Also, I have no illusions of grandeur. I am no genius. I work for the grades I get and they are more than satisfactory.

[0x28]

@SeaThrewTheKnight Grow up. You will learn that life is not what you think.

[Lostprophetzzz]

@0x28 NO. YOU SHOULD GROW UP...

"Oh i'm in university i'm so successful, "FUN" is beneath me!"

you can be successful and have fun in life.

you are probably just unintelligent and need to work harder....

all work and no play makes jack a dull boy.

or in your case all work and no play makes jack a fucking sociopath....

[ThreeWickedWonders]

@Lostprophetzzz lol

[LightArrow35]

I was drinking soup when watching this.

Now there's spit in it. :3 (AKA: I laughed really hard)

[flamingarse1]

lol the tits part at the end

[AWSM338]

QUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE­EEEN

[netsurferx1]

Bosoms, melons, milk factories, busts, funbags, knockers, ballistics, boobies, jugs, nipples, jubblies, STONKING. GREAT. TITS!

Best ZP moment EVAR!

[TechUnadept]

heyyyyy. He said no boob jokes...