LOL @ needle dropping in classroom. I get the same response when i tell ppl i'm a gay trans-man. Gay men read me as a gay man, but straight men read me as straight.. quite interesting. But when they learn that i like men, for them the main question is: 'why even transition?" I guess my gender politics is letting them know about the diversity of being trans. That not all transmen date women. - Cheers to this video! :)
Thanks so much for sharing this. I struggle with assumptions and perception of my what it means to be FtM from family members and practically everyone I meet. The biggest for me are being read as gay/effeminate male and then the assumption that I must have always felt my gender was wrong. I feel that is incredibly binary focused and lacking the freedom for fluidity. I also personally take offense to the idea that transition would not be acceptable if it was a choice.
I took your sexualities class but I had heard of you and your transformation previously while doing some research for another project. I was curious before entering the class whether or not you would choose to disclose the information or not, and of course why or why not you did what you chose. So thank you for making this video, I didn't want to ask and put you in an uncomfortable position being a random student and all. You were a great teacher btw!
Your video brought an experience of mine to mind. My psych prof likes to give me advice. He's an sweetheart old man so I don't take much offensive if he says something awkward but this one continues to bug me: "This is the key to a successful marriage: always agree with your wife."
Just because I am a transgender man does not mean that I am straight. I do not believe in the institution of marriage & have no intention of getting married. Please keep yr heterosexist assumptions away from me, sir.
i just recently found your videos again and i love this ! i think about sexuality vs gender alot and stealth living after my transition and this opened my eyes and gave ma a little laugh
the context of my queer-ish job. i now live somewhere where transness is quite invisible (i lived in vermont before) so i feel constantly compelled to bring up my identity if for no other reason to provide some visibility, but then very quickly feel this de-queering happening as people need to make sense of who/what i am, often sensing this comes from a place of wanting to understand my identity quickly enough to move on or show surface-level acceptance or something. hard to explain. thanks!
i really liked hearing your perspective on this Reese, and appreciated your use and explanation of Serano's conditional cisgender privilege. as my ability to be seen as male has become more or less effortless, i experience that pretty frequently, and working in an LGBTQI office on a college campus often also get misread as a cisgender gay man, or at best a cisgender bisexual man. and so it's quite the experience to be constantly coming out or sharing parts of my narrative within and outside of
Glad you posted a new video. I think that it's great that you consider whether disclosing or not disclosing would be more subversive in each of the specific courses you teach. I don't think you disclosing that you have a female partner, being read the way you are, should be regarded as conservative (it was definitely challenging them, according to your students' responses). Also, I agree that if you had disclosed that you were trans, they would have used that to try to normalize your experience.
As a femme lesbian, I have to come out over and over again as wel. I related to this video a lot. Recently I had someone make a negative gay reference (faggy) to me. I was shocked that I have become that invisible and that this coming out process never ends. The wider a circle of people you deal with the more it comes up. Interesting perspectives.
I completely and utterly love your videos Reese. I have, sort of, had similar experiences in the past. Previous to my transition I only dated women but always adopted the view that I wouldn't not date a guy. Since my transition a lot of my friends and acquaintances have assumed that I now identify as a straight man and I continue to find it funny that on occasion when I have disclosed that I am quite attracted to particular man they seem so shocked and almost take it as a joke that I am making.
Totally makes sense to me that you're "only" disclosing about your female partner, if that's what makes them think most about their assumptions of gender and sexuality. I like those "wow"-moments. Great!
I love this so much. I'm also usually read as a super femme cis gay man (i'm actually only read as male when i have facial hair, so it's conditional), and i loooove fucking with people and their assumptions about me. It's fun!
I occasionally have people mistake me as a transwoman when i come out to them, which amuses me to no end.
I’ve admired your channel for some time, Reese. I see this troubling the notion of the conservative/subversive binary, too. It’s telling that your students found it inconceivable that an (assumed) cisgendered man could both present femme and prefer female partners. I wonder if they’ll relate to you differently now that they no longer see you embodying a congruent gay male identity. If that identity accrued privilege as a conservative kind of queerness, what will they do with you now?
Interesting predicament you've got...I don't have any advice but I'm glad you've shared your thoughts with us. I don't think people will ever stop trying to put other people in boxes...I don't even think they're really 'trying', it just happens. It's the simplest way to understand things that challenge our ideas of what is normal...and as much as we hate that term people have to have a sense of what is "normal" to them or else they'd be confused all the time. "Normal" gives you perspective.
If I had a better camera, I would make a video response, but a comment will do.
I actually had a talk with someone about this today. I had to explain (for the millionth time) that I am a transman that likes men. I'm usually perceived as a lesbian, which makes me laugh. But every so often someone will ask "So if you want to be a man and date a man, why don't you just date men as a girl?" I just wish people knew that sexuality and gender identity are different things so I don't have to explain
I literally laughed all through out this video thinking of your students reaction. I am M2F and I think that some people perceive me as being lesbian, but in actuality I am attracted to straight men. Doesn't it get tiresome to have to go into the little boxes that people try to put us in?
Absolutely love your videos. Glad you have decided to post more. I think that sometimes for people it's hard to get beyond stereotypes bc it's part of how we are programed in order to get info from out surroundings, but people have a hard time when it comes to sex/sexuality/gender expression. I know even myself belonging to the gay community have had my eyes opened on how folks identify or express themselves.
LOL @ needle dropping in classroom. I get the same response when i tell ppl i'm a gay trans-man. Gay men read me as a gay man, but straight men read me as straight.. quite interesting. But when they learn that i like men, for them the main question is: 'why even transition?" I guess my gender politics is letting them know about the diversity of being trans. That not all transmen date women. - Cheers to this video! :)
genderfluid 2 months ago in playlist Uploaded videos
Thanks so much for sharing this. I struggle with assumptions and perception of my what it means to be FtM from family members and practically everyone I meet. The biggest for me are being read as gay/effeminate male and then the assumption that I must have always felt my gender was wrong. I feel that is incredibly binary focused and lacking the freedom for fluidity. I also personally take offense to the idea that transition would not be acceptable if it was a choice.
ifyouseeryan 3 months ago
wish you'd post more! love hearing your thoughts
findnwatch88 7 months ago
I took your sexualities class but I had heard of you and your transformation previously while doing some research for another project. I was curious before entering the class whether or not you would choose to disclose the information or not, and of course why or why not you did what you chose. So thank you for making this video, I didn't want to ask and put you in an uncomfortable position being a random student and all. You were a great teacher btw!
LaVieBoheme413 8 months ago
This was great
thanks very much
funtimeadventures 10 months ago
Your video brought an experience of mine to mind. My psych prof likes to give me advice. He's an sweetheart old man so I don't take much offensive if he says something awkward but this one continues to bug me: "This is the key to a successful marriage: always agree with your wife."
Just because I am a transgender man does not mean that I am straight. I do not believe in the institution of marriage & have no intention of getting married. Please keep yr heterosexist assumptions away from me, sir.
bookishdandy 10 months ago
i just recently found your videos again and i love this ! i think about sexuality vs gender alot and stealth living after my transition and this opened my eyes and gave ma a little laugh
ifonlyuknewme 11 months ago
lol, youre students just got mindfucked.
TylerJaden24 11 months ago
the context of my queer-ish job. i now live somewhere where transness is quite invisible (i lived in vermont before) so i feel constantly compelled to bring up my identity if for no other reason to provide some visibility, but then very quickly feel this de-queering happening as people need to make sense of who/what i am, often sensing this comes from a place of wanting to understand my identity quickly enough to move on or show surface-level acceptance or something. hard to explain. thanks!
trannytrent 11 months ago
i really liked hearing your perspective on this Reese, and appreciated your use and explanation of Serano's conditional cisgender privilege. as my ability to be seen as male has become more or less effortless, i experience that pretty frequently, and working in an LGBTQI office on a college campus often also get misread as a cisgender gay man, or at best a cisgender bisexual man. and so it's quite the experience to be constantly coming out or sharing parts of my narrative within and outside of
trannytrent 11 months ago
Glad you posted a new video. I think that it's great that you consider whether disclosing or not disclosing would be more subversive in each of the specific courses you teach. I don't think you disclosing that you have a female partner, being read the way you are, should be regarded as conservative (it was definitely challenging them, according to your students' responses). Also, I agree that if you had disclosed that you were trans, they would have used that to try to normalize your experience.
PaigeRfromafar 11 months ago
As a femme lesbian, I have to come out over and over again as wel. I related to this video a lot. Recently I had someone make a negative gay reference (faggy) to me. I was shocked that I have become that invisible and that this coming out process never ends. The wider a circle of people you deal with the more it comes up. Interesting perspectives.
CLam0373 11 months ago
@CLam0373 You took the words right out of my mouth. I really related to what you were saying, as a femme lesbian. Great video Reese!
wennlundjr01 8 months ago
I completely and utterly love your videos Reese. I have, sort of, had similar experiences in the past. Previous to my transition I only dated women but always adopted the view that I wouldn't not date a guy. Since my transition a lot of my friends and acquaintances have assumed that I now identify as a straight man and I continue to find it funny that on occasion when I have disclosed that I am quite attracted to particular man they seem so shocked and almost take it as a joke that I am making.
thegayjelly 11 months ago
Totally makes sense to me that you're "only" disclosing about your female partner, if that's what makes them think most about their assumptions of gender and sexuality. I like those "wow"-moments. Great!
SHeroK2 11 months ago
I love this so much. I'm also usually read as a super femme cis gay man (i'm actually only read as male when i have facial hair, so it's conditional), and i loooove fucking with people and their assumptions about me. It's fun!
I occasionally have people mistake me as a transwoman when i come out to them, which amuses me to no end.
0HeyJude0 11 months ago
I’ve admired your channel for some time, Reese. I see this troubling the notion of the conservative/subversive binary, too. It’s telling that your students found it inconceivable that an (assumed) cisgendered man could both present femme and prefer female partners. I wonder if they’ll relate to you differently now that they no longer see you embodying a congruent gay male identity. If that identity accrued privilege as a conservative kind of queerness, what will they do with you now?
-EY
elliotyoussef 11 months ago
Interesting predicament you've got...I don't have any advice but I'm glad you've shared your thoughts with us. I don't think people will ever stop trying to put other people in boxes...I don't even think they're really 'trying', it just happens. It's the simplest way to understand things that challenge our ideas of what is normal...and as much as we hate that term people have to have a sense of what is "normal" to them or else they'd be confused all the time. "Normal" gives you perspective.
XYinside 11 months ago
If I had a better camera, I would make a video response, but a comment will do.
I actually had a talk with someone about this today. I had to explain (for the millionth time) that I am a transman that likes men. I'm usually perceived as a lesbian, which makes me laugh. But every so often someone will ask "So if you want to be a man and date a man, why don't you just date men as a girl?" I just wish people knew that sexuality and gender identity are different things so I don't have to explain
SirRedSniper 11 months ago
I literally laughed all through out this video thinking of your students reaction. I am M2F and I think that some people perceive me as being lesbian, but in actuality I am attracted to straight men. Doesn't it get tiresome to have to go into the little boxes that people try to put us in?
Mirabella98102 11 months ago 2
Hooray for new videos!
colormegreyson 11 months ago 4
Absolutely love your videos. Glad you have decided to post more. I think that sometimes for people it's hard to get beyond stereotypes bc it's part of how we are programed in order to get info from out surroundings, but people have a hard time when it comes to sex/sexuality/gender expression. I know even myself belonging to the gay community have had my eyes opened on how folks identify or express themselves.
TheCbear11 11 months ago 7