Added: 3 years ago
From: Arulo84
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  • fuck that poem ill take cancer over having a spider near me any day

  • there is always a spider within 5 feet of you :P

  • I like spiders, especially those tiny jumping-spiders. I wish they were as big as a cat, I would totally keep one as a pet xD

  • I know a guy who just picks up the spiders with his hands, they never bite him. Shows no fear at all. Doesn't matter what kind of spider it is, he picks the spider up that needs to be removed and takes them home with him. I just can't do it knowing that fangs are just hovering over my hand. If I ever had to hold one, it would have to be that jumping spider in the "Phidippus Putnami Jumping Spider Being Cute" video.

  • Best way to get rid of them is the hoover! You dont get close to them, theres no mess and you cant see it die

  • @HRHooChicken But what if they survive and are just waiting for you to empty the bag with the others while conspiring against you?

  • Lol i've always loved spiders because of spiderman, cuz when i was a kid i used to think they were the key to superhuman strength^_^

  • oh well fuck tha poem i will kill a fuckin spider and i dont care if i get cancer from it

  • thts exactly wht i do but im not scared of them they just bug me out lol

  • Oh my gods! I saw this years ago and could never find it! You are AMAZING for uploading this! Thank you sooo much!

  • Comment removed

  • I'm not an arachnophobe, but I'm not keen on spiders. And while watching this clip... a spider just crawled by on the floor. o.o

    And just before Phill mentioned the glass/postcard fiasco... I just did that. O_O

    ...Am I an arachnophobe and don't know it? I know I'm a methophobe, but still...

  • least funny comdian ever

  • Fuck it, I'll have my sandwitch after he's done.

  • hahahah XD at 1:16 same thing happend to me !!!!

  • can u buy this on dvd

  • I love spiders, and I always spot them quickly...

    I LOVE letting money spiders run across my hands =3 So cute.

  • am I the only one who finds Phil utterly charming and handsome?

  • R u scared of spiders? Then I'm not kidding u, CONKERS WORK! Just put one in the corner of the room next autumn- it won't go mouldy unless u put it in a box, and it honest to god keeps spiders away. There was an ABSOLUTELY MASSIVE spider in my room a while ago ( b4 I did this) and I went to scream at my dad to catch it- and it was gone O_O I wanted to sleep in the spare room.

  • The thing that frightens me the most about spiders is the way they move. I cant even go towards them incase they decide to move away. Strange thing though is that I dont pay as much attention to them when they are outside.

  • Kill spiders, get cancer.

    Brilliant.

  • Oh sure! Give it to the neighbors!

    don't you know, they have HOMING SENSE! They'll be back...

    AND THEY'LL BRING THEIR BLOODY 8 LEGGED FRIENDS WITH THEM!

  • tbh...i rly hate spiders thumb up if ur like me....

  • WHY OH WHY is this not available on DVD?????

  • Utter shit

  • IT IS IRRATIONAL YOU OAVES! 99.9% of spiders are completely harmless. Most can't even break the skin, and the ones that do inject with venom, the worst most give are vomiting and aches.

  • both Phill and Eddie are hilarious.

  • "Funny" is a subjective thing. His long-standing political involvement has shown him to be anything but "anti-intellectual" (note: he can probably even spell the word correctly). He and Eddie Izzard are old friends and have toured together, which is probably why he "dares" to do an imitation of one of him. Do you think Izzard is some sort of holy cow? If you think Phill isn't funny, that's fine, but you could at least know a few very basic facts.

  • I was commenting on this video not on "His long-standing political involvement" - and comparing to Eddie it is not funny or smart.

  • What is it about Spiders that turns us all into screaming piles of broomstick and jelly?

  • @Adii30

    Because many of them are POISONOUS.

  • "Category 1 spiders are for money spider ( LUCKY MY ARSE!)...."

  • ahaha, very true(:

    i am still scared of siders...

  • i quench my aracnaphobia with an electric flyswatter and a marble benchtop

  • this was 2000 btw x

  • i don't understand how people can be scared of them but i do admit their movement is pretty damned creepy.

    PS. i am not having a go. Phill is a legend.

  • I saw this bigass spider in the toilet two days ago...I'm glad we have two bathrooms 'cause I'm not going in this one for a looooong time. I mean the bugger was huge! I know what Phil is talking about...the horror.

  • I once saw a HUGE spider in my porch, and couldn't go in there for 3 months-and when I finally did, I was armed with a rubber mallet!

  • WOW scary the most evil place in the house

  • didnt you board the porch up?

  • I wish I could have done-it's where the back door is! I have developed a habit of scurrying through as fast as possible, in order to avoid meeting another monstrous arachnid. Other times, I just use the front door.

  • hate spiders always have and always will.

  • it's not irrational! they've got eight legs and you can't see their faces! they literally fly through the air to eat the guts out of insects! everyone knows they want to eat your brains out.

  • Abd lay eggs in your ear T_T

  • I used to be afrais of spiders, but then I watched Charlotte's Web and now I think they're pretty cool creatures. Most of the time I leave them alone, and they leave me alone.

  • Lies! You have turned you back on the Brotherhood! They hunt you down in your sleep...you just don't know it

  • A spider crosses my path and it dies. I work off the idea if it was bigger than me, it would kill me.

  • I actually recently snapped off the handle of the new screen door we got throwing something at one of those big, brown wolf spiders. The ugly bastard was sitting on the door and I didn't see it until I went to open it and it scared the hell out of me. I can't stand even looking at them and my mom always calls me a baby when I tell her to kill them for me.

  • I'm sad to say im so arachnophobic that I can't even do the glass and card thing...

    Also due to my fight or flight function being 'fight' being scared of them makes me VERY aggressive when their nearbye. Not my fault, im just scared... :S

  • @dottylotty same here. only once in my life was i brave enough to do the glass and card thing, and that was only because it was in my best friend's bathroom, and she was even more scared than me, so i had to be brave for her :S and even THEN, it was a plastic cup, because i was scared of the spider coming right at me when i'd try to throw it out the glass. so i chucked the plastic cup with the spider in it and the card all out my mate's window.. the fear.. it's crippling :/

  • @dottylotty people find it funny but i kills um wear i finds um im not scared ggggrrrrrr manly i type this whiles checking for them but next time u get 1 get a hand full of wet toilet paper an throw it at the thing then all u do is stab the toilet paper alot with big knife killing the thing works every time

  • *gasp* you cant kill the spiders! they have little spidery families ;(

  • lol i recon judt cause there smaller then u it ant right to kill them. what about the chickens no 1 cares about them ?????lol

  • oh you know the song though right, the one phil cant remeber?

    'if you want to live and thrive, let a spider run alive'

  • no that one hasnt quite happened to me yet. it crawled out from under the wardrobe and kinda chased me. it freaked out and i freaked out..

  • HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! *plays fuckin' solo*

  • You've caught me in a good mood today Mr Schneider. But I will taunt you with a tomato stalk if you get on my nerves. >:(

  • i shat my fucking pants last night. fucking huge.

    and pet tarantulas...you must be one brave person

  • I'm scum eating shit :(

  • AHAHA!!!!!!!!!! the tomato stalk!! i have done that so many times!!

  • hmm...

  • i have 2 pet tarantulas and i was in hysterics of laughter watchin this lol

  • i had a catrgory 2 come out the bottom of my wardrobe yesterday night...the reason why i thought id give this a watch. needless to say i didnt sleep in there last night!¬

    (its all good it turned up in the toilet)

  • So true.

    For rival Eddie Izzard's experience on spiders: watch?v=lYOxeXSvhXQ

    Last night I took a drink of water ... and found that I had a box elder bug swimming in my mouth. I spewed EVERYWHERE. Gotta love nasty bug encounters.

  • Lol, I'm the same with him, I hate spiders, but I'm not really afraid to kill one if I see it in my room.

  • im terrified of them too!!

  • hooray for phil jupitus!! he's afraid of spiders too!!!!

  • omg thank you for putting this up!! <3

  • the funny thing is when you got a proper fear for spiders (like me) every feeling that he describes is true. it's fucking scary at the time, but bloody hillarious to listen to it like this.

  • ooooh - thanks for uploading this. I've been looking for it for ages...

    cracks me up

  • His screams make the performance, I think.

  • @Arulo84 lol=P his having a spidgasm

  • @Arulo84 lol You're right. Especially when he talks about removing the spider from glass and postcard.

  • me too! I memorised this after the first time I saw it! He speaks truth!!!

  • Hi Arulo84, thanks alot for uploading the clips of Quadrophobia, its such a great show. Do you have any more clips?

  • I have the entire Quadrophobia program, his appearance on Room 101, and every episode of QI that can be downloaded. What would you like to see?

  • Wow the whole of Quadrophobia would be great seen as they still haven't released it on DVD. Its such a great stand up show, its a shame.

  • @Arulo84 you kick arse!

  • Thanks for putting this up! LOVE it!

  • *grins* Good! Glad you like it!

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