Monty Python: Self-Defence

[ZapataMute]

Suppos-ed he's got point-ed stick. SHUTUP

lol that's my favorite part

[AlbertFisher119]

technically he didn't killed the last two, the tiger did

[stojadinovicp]

creationist nightmare? :D

[clumpft]

Divine lunacy.

[LegitReaction]

Faggot ass Ardeljans.

[TheStevenMiosku]

DAMN YOU, MAN OF THE SEA!!!

[FinalGamerJames]

I will never get tired of John Cleese killing Graham Chapman. That is the funniest scream I ever heard from a man XD

[TheSubrani]

Oh, you people may laugh at this video now, safe in your homes, but when some homicidal maniac comes at you with a bunch of loganberries DON'T COME CRYING TO ME!!!

[YoshiStarSpirit]

11 people are too good for fresh fruit and want to be attacked by a pointed stick. *nudge nudge*

[GuerradeLoco]

11 people got shot

[miko50474]

@GuerradeLoco

xD

[miko50474]

Be a Hero Joint Us , The F Army of F Homocides , if you wanna something that you cant have , the anwere is simply , MAKE WAR !! , son of a b.!!

[TheCastellan]

@miko50474

Worked for the Johnson, Nixon and both Bush administrations.

[Ikki1604]

@TheCastellan We can't forget Maggie and the Falklands.

[GENERALxRAAM1]

he should hold a class for zombies.

[ChasetiferSingletary]

Yes it is John Cleese

[RUMELSKIN]

is that a young john cleese?

[IrukaKan]

11 people didn't know how to defend themselves against bananas.

[Bobstew68]

6:00 "Then.. IN WITH THE RASPBERRIES, RIGHT?"

[Applemask]

Oddly enough I think the version in the film is better.

[ThingsWeSaidToday]

Is it so wrong that I get... excited every time eric says "point-ED stick"?

[scribe65]

"when you're walking home tonight, and a homicidal maniac comes after you with a bunch of loganberries, DON'T COME CRYING TO ME!!!!!"

[MrXXpimpXx]

well he came at me with a bannana

[MrSojazz]

he's completely dead

[ihateloudbitches]

LOGANBERRIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[everyangelcries]

then you release the tiger...

[xombie25]

I learned that in Malaya

[Blackhorserider77]

Now I finally know how to take care of that guy down the road by the A&W who uses a raseberry to threaten me to give him my papa burger!

[caffio55]

You shot him dead!

Well, he was attacking me with a bannana!

[Lucky95NL]

"THE PEACH SHOULD BE ATTACKED WITH A CROCODILE!"

[Armystuntman]

But we have no bananas....

[UncleBaldy4427]

Love how everybody applauds after he shoots Graham.

[Joiner113]

This is england at its best :D

[Iquil88]

pinaple?? WHERE WHERE!!11

[BigSmoke2222]

"NOW! I EAT THE BANANA!!" XDD

[CaptainGibbs]

Hello,

Could someone write what they say here, please ? I'm french so I can't understand everything : they speak to fast for me :p See it written could help me to understand and translate it for my friends.

Thanks ^^

[CigarStudLasVegas]

type: script monty python self defense into google and pick the first link

[sirstrongbad]

How amusing that there's a google ad video for Firearms Training right under this...

[b0ogi3m4n]

haha its awesome

[stitchesinyourface]

XD they say that they've done the passionfruit twice

[stitchesinyourface]

graham chapmans a gay........ but that's still cool anyways :D

[sirstrongbad]

he's not anything, he's too busy pining for the fjords.

[LeoArctica]

jhon cleese is great XD

[MonacoBlast]

Oh shit! Hilarious!

[proudtobefilipino92]

I like his acting on the other one better. :P

[khopcraft]

Me too!

[opocot2004]

the instructor said he learned the 16ton weight trick in Malaya. unfortunately there are no more of them here (in Malaysia) today. ha ha ha ha...

i only learned about Monty Python on MTV in mid-80s when i was studying in USA. then i saw their Life of Brian (the best), Holy Grail (second best) and Meaning of Life (a distant third). i can watch monty python every day and never got tired of them.

[sporeaddict056]

AND POINTED STICKS

[Novazi74]

Pointed sticks? SHUT UP!

[LeoArctica]

shut up!

XD

[Darth305]

RELEASE THE TIGER!

[thatwassolastweek1]

theres 2 versions of this. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO­OOOO! they've lost their uniqueness

[mrbuch]

Swine flu? Well they've been eatin' too much fresh fruit!

[Klacek666]

This is a classic! Love Monty Python and IMO this is in the top with The Parrot Sketch and The Teachings of Comedy

[coltoni6]

What if he has a pointed stick?

hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

[NarutardedNinja97]

Very useful information xD

[Vickerator]

you're not going to shoot us?

NO NO I'M NOT GOING TO SHOOT YOU.

no 16 ton weights?

NO! NO 16 TON WEIGHTS!

no poin-ted sticks?

SHUT UP!

ROFL xD

[thomasnordwest]

lovin it

[MercilessGiraffe]

point-ed sticks

[Novazi74]

SHUT UP!

[TheMasterReturned92]

@MercilessGiraffe

shut up!!! :-D

[Pendragondnd]

2:54 never bring a banna to a gun fight

[AboboraGigante]

wowowo

we wanna learn how to defend ourselves against POINTED STICKS!

[omglolbbqftw]

yeah i watched the clip too.

[hithere01002]

poINted stick?!?!

[EuskaltelEuskadi]

they've been eating to much fresh fruit!!!

and his funny twitch where he rolls his head right back lolololol!!!!!!

[SmOsHeRgirl]

LMAO

point-ed sticks

i love idle!

[MithranArkanere]

He has the same voice as Patrick Stewart! XD

[Novazi74]

Yeah, yeah, you try that with a pineapple down your windpipe!

Pineapple?

WHERE?! WHERE??!! WHERE???!!!

Oh well I was just saying 'pineapple'!

Oh brother I thought my number was on that one!!

What a pineapple?!

WHERE????!!!! WHERE?????!!!!!

No no I was just repeating it!!

[Retroandroid]

this sketch never ceases to cheer me up, classic

[costheresnothingelse]

poinTED stick hahaha

[mike010295]

2:00

[Explicitnice]

best monty python sketch ever!

[sk8cky311]

what about pointed sticks....shut up!!!

[dantheman45678]

NO gun? no! No 16 ton weight? No! No Pointed sticks? Shut up!

[helperguyz]

No!! Why Not? You'll shoot me. No I won't. You shot him. Yah well that was self-defense! AAHHH!!!! I fuckin love Monty Python

[podiumman2]

Yes, the bananahhh, the atheist nightmare, see Nick Gisburne to learn how to defend yorself against the bananahhhh. LOL

[Supabolchamps]

sweet defense against bannana! Pointed sticks! Shut up!

[pupgirl65]

"YOU SHOT HIM! You shot him dead!" I love Monty Python!

[themadbuttraperman58]

run for it!!

ahahahahahah

[bob5695]

I love this so much

Still laffin now

"Pointed Stick"

[lemur090590]

SHUT UP

[xxXSpiritwolfXxx]

My throat hurts just listening to him screech like that...

[Zenophobius]

classic clip but I like the version on Now For Something Completely Different better

[thomsmells]

No way, this one's way better

[Nikihungary]

Silly silly silly.

[ardelfilm]

your mom spelled defense wrong

no that wasnt a serious insult, or an attempt to make a serious insult

i just do that a lot, where i overuse "thats what she said," and "your mom" in totally normal sentences.

ex: "Yo man, I just bombed my math test."

"Yeah well, your mom just bombed that test."

so yeah

[pinkaholic30]

lol, you sound like me.

[JessicaRabbit1011]

@ardelfilm that is how you spell it you nut...

[DarthYoda08]

Now i eat the banana

[splod89]

He didn't spell Defence wrong. Defence is the English spelling. You American's don't know how to use the English language :p

This is an awesome skit...

[ardelfilm]

haha i live in the u.s.

i'm just well-learned about how the british roll

[sam0n0toby]

@ardelfilm well-learned xD obviously

[ishopinamsterdam]

@sam0n0toby give him some credit :p he's from america

[DeuceyDee]

@splod89 Defense, defence, theater, theatre, color, colour, neither one's wrong.

[aaronthebaron80]

@splod89 You British don't know how to properly make the plural of "American."

[MrDrifter66]

@splod89 yes because the number one thing on every american's mind is correct use and spelling of the english language.(leave the simpletons alone) its won of da beast skets don. ps i'm not american so toss off

[letimotei]

@splod89 not to be picky, but you misused an ownership apostrophe there..

[ionthehedgehog2]

@splod89 i find that insulting

[Falloutfan961]

@splod89 when we broke away we kinda said "fuck the british" and just went in our own way. aaaaaaand life shall go on.

[44Winterwonderland]

@splod89 Wait.. Defence isn't the american spelling.. No wonder I got that wrong on a spelling test.. damn..

[oohoohjo]

@splod89 you mean to say "Americans" without the apostrophe. you would use the apostrophe if you were using the possessive, as if to say "The American's use of grammar is poor." don't preach, it's the easiest way to avoid looking like a snotty hypocrite.

[pinkaholic30]

so THATS how graham chapman died... lol jk RIP he was a hilarious comedian and is missed...

[Rawful42]

GOOOOORRRRRNNNNNNNNNN.....

seen that one? its also very good :D

[pinkaholic30]

which one?

[Rawful42]

woody and tinny words

[stephanandcolbert]

john cleese is a genius.

they all were.

[obamawalker]

Monty Python is the best show ever.

[ginnyisdacoolest]

LOl, "Point-ed sticks."

[DarthYoda08]

Shut Up !!!!!

[micahdagostino]

love it, John Cleese with brown hair HAHA

well, now we know how to defend ourselfs against people with fruit :P

[wrocker94]

this is my favorite monty python skit

[UPTHE1RON5]

and mangos in syrup

[abf26]

I love it when John Cleese screams like that. It's really funny.

[freeindeed7]

Me, too! Have you seen his rant against communists? Hilarious

[InternetPwner]

Can't breathe, can't breathe. *pant* *dies*

...Freaking hilarious.

[MatrixGateAkatsuki]

pineapple

where? where?

[Flabada]

'supposed someone comes at you with a banana and you haven't got a gun'

'run for it'

classic, love Monty Python. Can't not.

[enadon1]

"you'v shot him"

[CF1975]

He was so adorable with his long, hippy-ish hair in the early MP days. When you see him now, you could easliy confuse him with Gene Wilder.

[MDMister]

look for "All You Need Is Cash" movie aka The Rutles

[pasm837]

Point ED stick, lol.

[hunterkimbo]

omg BEST VID EVER

[Sukriti]

I love Michael and Graham...And John...and Eric... And Terry J...ANd Terry G (even though he's not there./)

Lol... all of them.. =]

AHH!

Someone's attacking me with a pointed stick! He has a raspberry too@!

[thepogpo]

LOL this is my favroite! Classic!

Suppose he got a bunch? SHUTUP

Suppose he got a poiunted stick? SHUTUP

HAHA HAHA

[richard4120]

your gonna shoot me. nah I'm not

yes are you shot mister Harriston

that was self defense. best

[robertaplantledzep]

"Like someone attacks you with a pointed stick?" God i love this show

[saturnstargazer]

You shot him! He was attacking me with a banana!

Omg lol!!!! Genuis!

[dennapoo]

No pointed sticks?

[StarRhapsody]

ok, wtf. this is so HILARIOUS. and WRONG. makes a total farce of life, and respecting it, like a lot of physical comedy, etc. etc.....

but it's STILL BLOODY FUNNY!

[Heather14642]

I promise I won't kill you.

LOL

It's just funny

[hellstoilet]

"Pointed sticks?! Oh oh oh we want to learn how to defend ourselves against pointed sticks do we? Getting all high and mighty eh? Fresh fruit not good enough for you eh? Oh oh oh oh well I'll tell ya somethin my lad... when you're walkin home tonight and some homicidal maniac comes after you with a bunch of loganberries, don't come cryin to me!"

XD lol -I know that's long for one text, but it's my favorite quote-

[midgetman94]

"Suppose he's got a bunch?"

"SHUT UP!"

"Suppose he's got a pointed stick?"

"SHUT UP!"

[EricIdleFanman125]

Gharam still looks the same as a skeleton!!!

[Songa009]

RELEASE THE TIGERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[tomas12345124]

you shot him

he was attakking me whit a banana

[mcauleymike]

Fresh fruit...for everyone !

[iwtbfy]

I love this so much.

THE FIRST THING TO DO WHEN YOU'RE BEING STALKED BY AN ANGRY MOB WITH RASPBERRIES IS TO--RELEASE THE TIGER!

[veltro75]

Classic!

[linapleachimPL]

Michael is(was:P) the cutest Python!!!!:):):)

[bartology]

This is soooo brilliant

[gdader]

That was hilarious! XD

[MontyPythonManiac93]

Suppose he's got a bunch?

SHUT UP! Imao

Has anyone got any pointed sticks? =3

[montana2022]

"FIRST, EAT THE BANANA,JJAJAAJAJJ

[TheZedWord1390]

Eric's so cute.

[linapleachimPL]

Michael is sooo gorgeus in this sketch:):P I love his hair!!

[fragnard]

have you ever sean the movie?

[lolololololololool]

marvelous! I just can't stop laughing

"you just shoot him dead!"

"well, he was attacking me with a banana"

[Endrawnia]

I fucking love this one!!!

[boobabycluebaby2]

Ericc Idle is adorable here.

[AvoidingDarkAngel]

release the tiger! xD

[finnpengiun]

pointed sticks!

[itsgotchickenlegssss]

"you shot him dead!"

[Herkkis]

pure gold

[slyfan64]

that skit is my favorite monty python skit!

[peptobismal1994]

o0mg i love tht 1 john cleese is the best lol tin peach

[wolfmellon]

"fresh fruit not good enough for you?" that is soo funny!

[YourEverydayMistake]

FINALLY!

I've looked everywhere for this clip instead of the crappy other one they have.

[CyC10n345]

aNot very loud but still good

[Cotume]

What about pointed sticks?

[CyC10n345]

well sorry there none pointed sticks

[SteppLee]

aargh shut up !!! xD