Terrible Sequel Headaches (part 16/32)

[PascalHoomiku]

I really do love how every dialogue option that makes Mike Dawson act like he's starting to get tough immediately follows up with nothing but responses that make him sound like a total wussboy.

[Presidentjh]

Mike Dawson, man the hell up.

[RyukOfTheApples]

The boob tent used to be a part of the keeper of the scrolls.

[keenfrizzle]

3:36 I want to bow down to this wrongprae, but I'm too embarassed...

[spartan117ak]

Oh dear god the idea of playing MGS4 6 times scared me more then this game ever could... D:

[MellowMink]

What the hell is the longplayer doing? Did he do any prior research of this game or understand the concept of pausing a recording?

[WhiteN0iz]

oh hurrah, SH4 reference!

[MoneyballinBeane]

How did they make a chalk outline on grass?

[WhiteN0iz]

@MoneyballinBeane in all seriousness they have a special paint.

[jcoch1r]

Mike Dawson must love masturbating to Species.

[GeneticKH]

9:46 Slowbeef sounds very wise lol

[GyroNexus]

I love the wheeze-laughing these guys do.

[chilidog042]

"What does a shape-shifter look like?" "Whatever it wants."

[TheSchizoKing]

Mike Dawson is clearly a teratophiliac.

[FalconPain]

"That doesn't make sense. Hank keeps the diner spotless."

It's certainly uncontaminated by food.

[Lasty91000]

Seek out your government leader.

Write your congressman.

Be active in your community.

[pockypurse]

"Snake, you get what I'm talkin' about?

Snake?!

SNAAAAAAAKE!"

[Amaterixen]

02:37 "Mr. President, what was your relationship with Rita?"

[WhiteTiger225]

@Amaterixen

Bill: I showed her my cigar if you know what I mean hehehehe

Dawson: *Stands there*

Bill: Uhhh... you okay son?

Dawson: *Turns and walks off*

[Ygdrasel]

Spoilers: It's not gonna be worth it. It just fucking isn't.

[shoplifting1is1fun]

7:06

"GAC?!"

[leviathan1173]

Y'know, when you guys did your wrongpurae of The Town with No Name, I legitimately thought that it was the worst game ever made, and I held onto that belief throughout your next wrongpuraes. But, after seeing 16 parts of this god awful abomination, I think I might have changed my mind.

[shoplifting1is1fun]

@leviathan1173

Town with no name never seemed to take itself seriously.

This was a serious game, featuring a lecturer of game design. Thus, darkseed 2 fails more.

[SamuraiFoochs]

The sound engineering of this game is INSPIRED.

[strangebenhur]

AN H.R.GIGER FURRY hahahahaahahaha!

[vipermehj]

Hank was tired of Mike trying to get a soda. So he faked a health inspection that way Mike couldn't ask for one anymore.

[Blaizerazer]

Half way. Woo.

[inferno232]

I wonder how many mirrors Mike Dawson has broken in his life, trying to get to the Dark World...

[GenjiFirefly]

Ick and Uck, did you molest Mike Dawson?

[DJCuellRebirth]

Your reaction, what was your relationship with Rita?

"Incredible".

[Pacalakin]

I like how diabetus wants paul to be the new barber.

[Kngummy]

I think that the longplayer is playing this blind. I'm not saying that he doesn't know how to play the game, I mean that he's blindfolded, and having someone tell him what is on the screen. Or he actually is blind. It explains how he can't see the dark world on the map.

[StyleKrong]

omg the ending, "get lost" XD

[BritneyBrit11]

this is boring as hell

[usuallydead]

I killed Rita.

[bust2007]

^^^Everybody above me killed Rita^^^

[PickpocketSan]

I know they keep saying that he's in the Dark World, but judging by everything in it and the sounds they make, I think he's just in another attraction at the carnival.

[Eroubis]

If Mike Dawson was indeed badass, he wouldn't worry about stealing a key from a dead guy. He wouldn't suck so bad at ring toss. 20 cents wouldn't stop him from creating a diversion for the sheriff.

At the very least, Mike Dawson would have the guy watering his lawn thrown in jail, and we would already be done with this game long ago.

[Daclunator]

@Eroubis It's not the guy who waters his lawn. He's not the spy.

[TheToast7]

@Daclunator SPOILERS: it's the clown.

[Daclunator]

@TheToast7 Actually, it's Mike Dawson's cool friend. "Hey, you missed pal"

[Tordah26]

@Eroubis It's not the guy watering the lawn.

Read Slowbeef's LP to find out the answer.

[stringball123]

i wonder what my dark world self is like. probably really good looking and rich

[planetaryconquest]

This would be so much more fun if they found a wave beam or Shadow.

[sygnus5]

I almost wanna hate on the longplayer for being so bad at Darkseed 2, but then I remember he's playing Darkseed 2, and I just start feeling sorry for him

[snappy2332]

snake?...snake?!...SNAKE??!!?!­

[HarrisonFordJr]

maybe im retarded, but im sucked in, i gotta see how this shit fest ends.

[razor8191]

We're only at the half-way point, but it feels like it's been an enternity.

[BigJuicyx3]

I feel as if I should bow, but the animators were to lazy to animate a bowing animation... They could have at least let me do my "flail my arms around like a spaz" animation.

[Zknight7126]

Jut put some Scotch in your car and get this fucking thing over with.

[adrock4]

"SIT ON IT, DAWSON"

I think Jack already did!

[TheLevoyboy]

I'm going to go ahead and guess it's Doc Larson. The chalk outline has a head, and Rita doesn't have a head, therefore Larson took the corpse from the crime scene and cut it's head off. I mean, he's also a suspect for being the only fucking npc in this game to ever not be standing in the exact same place 24/7, so he's the only one who possibly could have killed anyone.

[teeterharris]

@TheLevoyboy I can think of one person who moves and walks like he has a broomstick up his... well, you know.

[Tordah26]

@TheLevoyboy It's Jack. There.

[Mushman23]

5:13

Mike Dawson would go on to make the website Dark World Art, which was later renamed DeviantArt.

[PickpocketSan]

@Mushman23 Actually, DeviantArt is the light world's website. In the Dark World, it's called FurAffinity.

[Tordah26]

@PickpocketSan THIS NEEDS TO BE AT THE TOP COMMENTS.

[PickpocketSan]

@Tordah26 Eh, I missed pal. :/

[spencechan]

you really should have chosen a shorter LP, this guy way clearly doing a blind run

[PsychedelicSA]

@spencechan I don't really think they had another option. I wouldn't imagine that Darkseed 2 LPs are a common thing found on the Internet, given how bad and boring this game is.

[spencechan]

@PsychedelicSA yeah, thought about it, like a minute after posting

[TheCoincidence]

I have a feeling that these vids were originally a Blind LP, giving how the longplayer is fucking around for so long

[TheCollect]

HOW ARE WE ONLY HALF WAY THROUGH

[Paratroopa1]

I'll bet Mike Dawson's thinking really hard about the Keeper of the Scroll's relationship with Rita.

[TheRetroman]

I can't believe I'm so late in realizing this: If Mike Dawson was a badass instead, would it be any better? Would there be any improvement? Would the character be any less obnoxious?

I highly doubt it.

[shockraid1]

@TheRetroman Well, he'd be a killer at the carnival games at least.

[grenadier42]

@TheRetroman

If Mike Dawson were Jack.

Oh god why

[sleepykoinu]

@grenadier42 I wish I could say what I want to say in response to this, but you'll understand what it is when this RP is over.

[Tordah26]

@grenadier42 You're closer to the truth than you might think...

[grenadier42]

@Tordah26

And that's why it's terrifying.

[EGRJ]

@TheRetroman Given that this was the 90s, a cool Mike would be wearing leather, toting two assault rifles in each hand, and be covered in pouches.

[inferno232]

@TheRetroman In fact, the game is only made somewhat bearable and entertaining by the fact that Mike Dawson is a hopeless loser.

[Leoofmoon]

@TheRetroman atlest STUFF would happen

[sagacious03]

We're halfway through the game, and Mike Dawson still can't accept that his dead girlfriend was a slut. So, he's a loser AND he's stupid! ....But then again, I guess we all already knew that, huh?

[TheToast7]

@sagacious03 He also didn't realize she wasn't his girlfriend.

[supersonicman96]

at this point porn would be easier to explain

[8bitasplode]

in all seriousness it's obvious that the longplayer had to look through a 30 page printed to-do-list for this shitty game, hence the pauses.

[bust2007]

I think I'll be mike Dawson for holloween ..... Scary outfit

[Flokkerdude]

SHUTCHO MOUTH GARDNER, WOMEN WILL SPEAK WHEN SPOKEN TO!

[KingKiddoh]

11:48 fuck

[KingKiddoh]

11.48 I like how Damnit Dawson is standing in front of a picture of the Behemoth in the light world no-less.

[glitchz1]

there is nothing more scary for halloween than realizing that Mike dawson was able to keep up a relationship at one point.

[thatguy1145]

To be fair to the player, he IS playing Darkseed 2 in one go, which I'm certain you have to be drunk to do.

[posthumanfetus]

I KILLED RITA. NOW YOU CAN STOP ASKING.

[TheBestVIP1]

@posthumanfetus Posthumanfetus, did you try to kill the joke?

[posthumanfetus]

@TheBestVIP1 The joke has been dead, festering, and fossilized for a pretty long time already.

[TheBestVIP1]

@posthumanfetus what was your relationship with the joke?

[MrYouwouldntknow]

@posthumanfetus Posthumanfetus, did you kill Rita?

[posthumanfetus]

@MrYouwouldntknow Yes. The bitch had it coming.

[drkinferno72]

@posthumanfetus did you kill rita?!

[posthumanfetus]

You know what's ironic? This is the most boring game I've seen, the worst player ever, and it's the longest thing retsupurae yet somehow it is the most entertaining series you guys have done so far.

[ZombiePhysics]

8:38 Is it worth mentioning slowbeef was/is a smoker?

[TheToast7]

@ZombiePhysics I'm pretty sure he is a smoker. In his Metal Gear 2 LP, he mentioned he was an ex-smoker, but then later on, during his The Immortal LP, he started smoking during the video.

In Zomodok's Parallel Worlds LP, Zomodok and Diabetus were talking about slowbeef and his attempt to quit smoking, and how he failed at it, leading to Diabetus snarking: "Well, he actually did quit smoking, and he decided to smoke a cigarette to celebrate." This was before the betus and the beef were friends.

[JanitorAntisocial]

@TheToast7

And then in the Rise of the Dragon RP, Diabetus joked "slowbeef, are nicotine patches that good?" so I think that's a hint that slowbeef is likely to be currently clean.

[TheToast7]

@JanitorAntisocial Oh.

Well, that's very touching.

[I don't know how to say that without sounding like I'm being sarcastic.]

[finessethesandwich]

@TheToast7 Actually, on formspring a few months ago beef said he had quit and was clean. Idk if that's changed since then but still, there you go.

[usuallydead]

Lol win for Demon's Souls reference.

[werebee]

"Melissa, I've got to talk to you!" "Get lost!" And then Mike Dawson was never seen again.

[80085word69]

I believe what the let's player was doing was scoping out the maze so he can get through it quick when you have to race the behemoth through it

[RedSHARK6]

Did we kill Rita? Or did fame?

[DemonBait]

Get lost? he already has.

[kittehfoodz]

Every time he pauses he's taking some more shrooms. It's the only way he can be crazy enough to play this shit.

[MegerMayun1]

Such a great RP! I should bow down, but I'm too embarrassed!

[CCRockit]

JPEG's, what was your relationship with Rita?

[ColonelVile]

Lol, everything Mike Dawson does is questionable. Mike Dawson.

[CyanFunk]

Rita, are you the shapeshifter?

[bobbinsthethird]

Mike Dawson IS the darkworld changeling.

The lightworld version of Mike Dawson is the clown.

[SharpguardTheHard]

Jack or Paul need their own spinoff.

[Tordah26]

@SharpguardTheHard What about Jack AND Paul?

Best sitcom idea ever.

[SharpguardTheHard]

@Tordah26 Paul could help Jack wash out whatever is up his ass and Jack could beat up anyone who tries to hurt Paul.

[shockraid1]

The only thing more pathetic than Mike Dawson, is the fact that he really exists.

[CastlePokemetroid]

@shockraid1 Not only that, but he apparently teaches how to make video games in some university.

[MiracleFassad]

Jokes don't even need a punchline. Just say mike dawson and everyone will laugh.

[RoyStorey]

Giger fact for those who don't know: The big woman head (Keeper of the scrolls or whatever) is modeled after his late girlfriend Li Tobler. Great job Dawson, you're hitting on Giger's girlfriend.

[Dygeron92]

@RoyStorey Giger's wife, Li Tobler, also committed suicide in 1975 due to extreme depression.

...Somehow, I blame Dawson for this.

[MrFiretom]

Mike Dawson would be perfect on Dawson's Creek.

[teeterharris]

@MrFiretom Hahahaha

[jettythesunfish]

Look, everyone killed Rita, alright? She's just fun to kill. Just to watch Mike Dawson be even more pathetic.

[Neotails8762]

We are halfway through this Rongpurae. Jeez.

[MitchZer0II]

I'm going to make an erotic fan fiction where Mike Dawson attempts oral with the keeper of the scrolls, but he misses putting on his condom, trips and falls into her mouth and gets eaten.

[bobbyewing311]

@MitchZer0II um why would you use a condom if you're attempting oral?

[MitchZer0II]

@bobbyewing311 Mike Dawson is that much of a pussy.

[lobsopdoy]

@bobbyewing311 Because Mike has no idea what he's doing.

[bobbyewing311]

lmfao... did Mike really just ask "What does the shape shifter look like?" ffs wtf is wrong with this idiot?

[HarrisonFordJr]

I wanted to touch the big giant heads front loaded anvils, but i may get a splinter or a spider bite.

[MellowMink]

What the hell is the longplayer doing? The game is bad, but it doesn't help that half of the video is him wasting time and being unable to navigate mirrors.

[Shapecharge08]

- "Oh my god, Dawson, a mirror!"

- "A mirror."

[themisanthropex]

This game's imagiry is actually pretty creepy. Same with music. Too bad the main charcter is a wuss.

[KaoticGore]

Sooooo. How do you get from the underworld to the park? :D

[IsuKen]

Mike Dawson can make anybody seem self confident.

Billy MC, did you happen to know Rita...?

[KaoticGore]

Only half way? Oh, dear :)

[SkuttieG]

Where's Mike Dawson? Where's Mike? There he is, A5!

[n64dudeman]

The only way to motorboat the keeper of the scrolls, is with an actual motorboat!

[Shintaka9009]

Altair killed Rita.

:T

[troysson81]

7:07

That was just a small sample of Mike Dawson's wonderful insight, ladies and gentlemen.

[pullahoko]

The joke is dead. Much like Rita (who I did not kill.)

[DameGlaceon]

If I see another comment asking something if they killed Rita, I'll shove this cue stick where the sun don't shine!

[ibioron]

@DameGlaceon You killed Rita didn't you?

[ChaosChronicle]

@ibioron - ibioron, what were you doing when Rita was murdered?

[imatooltoo]

@ChaosChronicle Did the Chaos get to you ChaosChronicle? You killed Rita, didn't you?

[ibioron]

@ChaosChronicle Playin' some ringtoss...

[ChaosChronicle]

@ibioron - Did the ringtoss murder Rita?

*Throws a ring at you*

[CammiSan]

@ibioron DameGlaceon couldn't have because... I DID. :O

hehehe couldn't resist..

[gamingguy12]

New youtube upload tool, did YOU Kill Rita?

[Kodsification]

After watching this letsplay I just had to make a Mike Dawson character to play in my Call of Cthulhu 1920's campaign! His stats are absolute shit and it doesn't look like hes going to live very long, Very true to the source material. Cant wait to critically miss those ring throws!

[lobsopdoy]

@Kodsification I think he'd have oddly high SAN though. I mean, nothing seems to really faze him that much.

[kdcomics]

wait....... was that giant tit HER giant tit!?

[Goldbloodeddragon]

Okay. Guys. I KILLED RITA. Shut up about it now.

[MapiesMaster]

@Goldbloodeddragon What was your relationship with Rita?

[easybutton77]

Half way there guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Hamsteere]

@NostalgicSince2005

>implying an injoke is a meme

[TurboNemesis]

@videogamenostalgia, did you kill Rita?

[videogamenostalgia]

If I read one more fucking comment which says '*insert inane object from this part of the playthrough*, did you kill Rita?', then I swear to God I'm gonna kill Rita...

[vhulk501]

@videogamenostalgia Really? What was your relationship with Rita then?

[OniLinkPlus]

@videogamenostalgia Videogamenostalgia, did you kill Rita?

[Neotails8762]

@OniLinkPlus OniLinkPlus, did you take my idea?

[jman3267]

@videogamenostalgia

Top rated comment, did you go into the past and kill Rita?

[KaminaDies]

@videogamenostalgia Did you kill rita?

[MiracleFassad]

@videogamenostalgia Hey videogamenostalgia, did you kill rita?

[scorptatious]

@videogamenostalgia

Videogamenostalgia did you kill Rita?

[TheHeroHartmut]

@videogamenostalgia Let's be fair. You brought all of those comments on yourself.

[PickpocketSan]

@videogamenostalgia "Did you kill Rita", did you kill Rita?

[TheRealMisterDerp]

Homestar runner, did YOU kill Rita? (I sure did.)

[justinbrosam]

5:35 ADVGames4Ever: "Alright, I need a bit of a pallet cleanser before I go on. Let me just stop the video and boot up Dark Seed 1."

[double0nine009]

If only there was a ring toss at the end of the house of mirrors, then mike would never get out.