QI - Best of... Phill Jupitus (Part 1)

[thehorrorification]

Phil Jupitus is not funny and ruins this show for me every time he is on it. Laughing loudly at other people's jokes is not humour. He also rarely comes up with anything original, he just adds an obvious bit on to end of someone elses joke. Luckily someone who has been that fat for that long could have a heart attack at any moment.

[shikamaruisfit]

Someone dressed as a baby :') laughed so hard my tummy hurts

[EnigmaDrath]

LOL'ed at "world's biggest drip"

[aaron9099]

This is almost 5 years old, imagine all the new content....

[cranebeg]

Biggest drip = in a cave. Biggest shower of shit = phil jupitus

[Craxblorg]

Fry, you oaf, those are fishnets!!

[HairyHariyama]

Phill Jupitus does a better Stephen Fry impression than Stephen Fry.

[shotgunmary1]

Dolphin in aisle 4, he's by the tizer!

[Frequency404]

Doesn't it turn out that the bonus "false information" round, was actually the bit of false information, and there wasn't any false info apart from the bonus round.

Now here's my thought: if the bonus round was false about there being a bit of false information, then it was also false about the bonus round being false, so there SHOULD have been a bit of false information, but then, that bit of false information was the bonus round itself...

I'm so confused. :<

[TweekDash]

Phill Jupitus is one of the least funny guests on QI.

[SnakeJake23]

Love when he reaches for the pipe :D

[jdhathrisen]

I'm sure it's no coincidence that Phill's impression of Stephen contains more than a whiff of Uncle Monty from Withnail & I.

There is, you'll agree, a certain 'je ne sais quoi' oh, so very special about a firm, young carrot

[Jiminibobster]

He milks every joke until it funny anymore.

[Muusicca]

@Jiminibobster what does that mean?( To milk something)

[krone900]

I hate this fat cunt. He isn't one bit funny.

[ComradeJon]

@krone900 and yet you came onto this video, where the title CLEARLY states who this video will contain? Yeah just fuck off troll, the only cunt here is you ;).

[krone900]

@ComradeJon

I know the video "states" who it will "contain" and that's exactly why I left my comment on the video. Don't you think it would have been odd if I came on a Phill Jupitus video and left a comment about Jonathan Ross? The whole purpose of the comments section is to leave comments, which is what I did, Nazi. If the comment I left wasn't to your liking, well, that's just too bad for you. The only troll here is you. You spend your time destroying trolls, which makes you a troll.

[TheDarkSideOfFun]

where had Alan gone in one of those shows? anyone know?

[Llynok]

@TheDarkSideOfFun Well spotted. At the start of the show, his buzzer sort of phased him away out of the studio. He was away at an Arsenal Football Club match.

[britishmikey]

@TheDarkSideOfFun he went for a jimmy riddle

[ColonelHoraldo]

Why is Phil spelt with two ls?

[IoEstasCedonta]

"Lentes vini"?

[JUDGEDREGZ]

Jupitus is an unfunny fat cunt.

[Fab4Sunrises]

Madam, might i tell you I've been a very naughty baybehh?

[Mindlessv2]

1:00 is that alan or ross noble?

[mihaimoldo]

different field......i'm can't BREATHE!!! ahahahhaha

[chiken787]

@CairoDuqane hey Cairo back the fuck off him... if you are really 47 then you are the saddest sadistic person the world has ever known. seriously dont be so fucking harsh

[CairoDuqane]

@chiken787 He started it. I offered an olive branch. he refused.

[CairoDuqane]

@chiken787 incidentally, where was your knight on white charger when he was spewing venom on me?

[chiken787]

@CairoDuqane ^o) that makes no sense..? if you were trying to insult me then..... well you failed :L

[CairoDuqane]

@chiken787 No I wasn't trying to insult you. You'd know if I were trying to insult you.

[chiken787]

@CairoDuqane ooh ok sorry for the misunderstanding

[283kieran]

@CairoDuqane HE IS MY BROTHER I AM ENGLISH I AM 15 AND HE DIED LIKE MY OTHER CLOSE FAMILY IN A CAR CRASH WHEN I WAS A BABY!!!!!!! listen you you are 47 i am 15 i get bullied i have to do art therapy i suffer from depression you have no problems in your life you should be great full now stop arguing with me YOU LOOK PATHETIC!!!!!

[CairoDuqane]

You started it. I merely made a joking statement on your comment . You started swearing, being vulgar and juvinile. Does being fiteen really REALLY excuse your behavor? Again I am offering you an offering you an olive branch. If you stop I will.

[283kieran]

@CairoDuqane Well you have been an insignificant jerk and you did start by saying you were being a jerk so it was no joke and you pissed me off and you have been a right dick so obviously i would be fucked off with you but if you piss off out of my life i will fucking leave you alone too and i asked this to stop a lot but you never did now you have got me in trouble which is inexcusable! but you piss off so will i

[chiken787]

@283kieran he is not worth it just stop now

[283kieran]

@chiken787 I will but i will never forgive him i can just never back down :(

[chiken787]

@283kieran if you back down you have won.. you have shown you are better then him

[283kieran]

@chiken787 Yeah but because of the ADHD i kinda struggle but i will leave not backing down just leaving lol :) and also what has he said to you?!!? and i do want the truth!

[chiken787]

@283kieran yeah but he is just a jerk so leave it.... :L i dunno i didn't understand it :D

[283kieran]

@chiken787 UMMMMMMMMMMM it would be cool to see what he said but Don't Worry lol i will trust friends

[283kieran]

And also the stuff what he is saying about the 9 year old son are really hurtful as i am 15 and my brother and yeah I CAN'T DO THIS NO MORE i just need him gone and i need help what he is saying is MAKING ME CRY AND HE IS STILL GOING ON PLEASE HELP ANYBODY!!!!!!!!!!

[283kieran]

Could someone do something about that guy bullying me?!!? i get bullied everyday at school and my close family died in a car crash and i have to do art therapy any way for the stress and depression.

i cry a lot any way but what he is saying is really hurting me and making more depressed if you could help that would be great thanks?!!?

[WasMilkABadChoice]

I tried to pause this video but my cursor slipped and I disliked it by accident :(

[GoblinInventor]

I second the motion for donkey cheese

[Fab4Sunrises]

"Goo goo indeed"

GENIUS

[AaronIzzard]

Thumbs up for the Sherry Monical ;)

[Patriots09ist]

And for over 50 years, that German man has been peeing in your grandfather's tea.

[BoltonASD]

love it when he impersonates Stephen, and his public school shenanigans

[283kieran]

WHERE WAS ALLAN?!!? for the Donkey thing?!!?

[kafata1]

@283kieran He was watching Arsenal at the Champions final... :p

[283kieran]

@kafata1 WOW i forgot i ever posted that and also i am not into football one bit but if your American Soccer for some stupid reason i can never get my head round?!!?

[kafata1]

@283kieran American Soccer? Arsenal is an English football club... :p

[283kieran]

@kafata1 Yes i know as i am and have lived in England all my life and a proud Englishmen but it does get a bit annoying when the language is English and we invented football but the Americans change it cause their American lol selfish but like i said i am not into football any way i am more into animals so i couldn't care less for football only that it should keep the same name and what we English call something everyone who speaks English should call it that after all we invented it

[kafata1]

@283kieran hahahahahaha

Let me get this straight: You're angry because Americans call 'football' 'soccer', even though no one here used that word?

Chill out, mate. You yourself are speaking a much different language than "real" English. Go read some Chaucer and learn how "real" Englishmen should speak.

[kazraz72]

@283kieran Well considering the English language is made up from; Old english, French, Latin, Germanic, Greek, Norse etc etc, the English we use today is a very stupid language in my opinion because there are so many strange spellings/pronounciations. Italian and spanish are the best.

[coast3dg3]

4:13 where's Alan!!???

[Cedestra]

@coast3dg3 Every once in a while, Alan Davies is absent. He will record a few clips that his "ghost" will answer.

[yellowcougar18]

Sadly the river dolphin in Japan is now extinct...

[Silverhawk92]

"Dolphin in aisle 4" xD

[Sonicblade128]

Stephen Fry definitely gets a madeira pince-nez once he has one too many. xD

[Patriots09ist]

And Madam, may I say, I've been a very naughty baby?

[ShadesOfKnight]

4:36 - Who is that fellow, telling the story about the Luftwaffe Pilot?

[matewis1]

@ShadesOfKnight

Dara O'Briain, Best Irish stand-up ever.

[muzman52]

@matewis1 oooo, I have to disagree, Dylan Moran is a force to be reckoned with.

[CairoDuqane]

@muzman52 I would love to see Dylan Moran on Q.I. I think he's brilliant.

[OxygenChrist]

@matewis1 Next to Dylan Moran.

[TheOzil55]

@matewis1 if he's your thing then maybe yes, but i personally prefer dylan moran. he and tim minchin are the only comedians capable of making me spit the contents of my mouth over the laptop :) (tea almost destroyed it)

[OscarApollo]

@matewis1 w-what about dylan moran? D:

[slytown]

@matewis1 What about Louis CK, or Bill Burr?

[jodiwarren]

@slytown They're both American.

[ussyorktown1]

" i want donkey cheese"

[styops]

The Sherry monocle. Genius!

[Ppendu]

Love it. Please be bored more often ;)

[iain075]

Absolutely brilliant Deadzone - Madeira pince nez. Superb. Thanks for putting this up, most appreciated.

[verevie]

Phil sounds like a dying cat at the end. xD

[8darthrevan]

´´horses getting donkeys´´

[MissTwiggy28]

@kash443 thankyou:)

[lektrum]

I find to quantify its' bigness would be doing it a disservice!!!

[8darthrevan]

madam may I tell you I´ve been a naughty baby LOL

[MuahahahaFActory]

Stephen doesn't have beer goggles he has Madeira pince-nez. HA!

[wrestlingdog]

"They have to find a box..."

[BritishAlienCompany]

Phil Jupitus is a legend, but Fry's impression of a scared horse just made my day :D x

[MissTwiggy28]

Which episode is it when Alan isnt there??

[kash443]

@MissTwiggy28 the 'divination' episode. It's series D, episode 10 :)

[pastamasta69]

"I want donkey cheese"... brilliant.

[kanemura93]

Phil's "Lord dressed as a baby" is one of the funniest things i've ever seen!

[geminidragon1976]

phill jupitus is the worlds most unfunny twat i've ever seen on tv,he has never laughed genuinely at anyone's jokes,he is shit,he ruin's QI,and all other shows he is on,totally crap,thank fuck he has'nt soiled mock the week,

[Emochild52]

@geminidragon1976 If you hate him so much why watch a vid that you know he's going to be in?

[geminidragon1976]

@Emochild52 because i'm trying to wake up fans of a crap comedian,the comment pages are here to comment,so i did,why question it?

[angels77100]

@DEINNES The only episode of never mind the buzzocks I enjoyed for years was last weeks show with Frankie Boyle as host. A show in which Boyle, a real funny guy reduced the rest of the panel (including that fat unfunny cunt Junipus) to silence.

[angels77100]

Junipus stated on Qi XL That Suicide Solution was a Judas Priest song, and smugginly sat on his fat ass gloating that he learnt a lot by appearing on a tv pop quiz. In Fact Suicide Solution was an Ozzy song, and the Judas Priest song was Beyond the realms of death.

[blacklabelspence]

@angels77100 Although I don't share your hatred of Phil, I must say that did annoy me too

[angels77100]

@blacklabelspence Yeah well maybe I took it a little far. I don't really hate him. He was funny in the mid 90's and now he's just kinda stale.

[gcalvanetten]

I want donkey cheese!! :(

[elliexx242]

hahahaha 2:23 stephen looks like he's suddenly popped up dressed like that

[cole003f]

LOL feet metres anything throw me a f****** bone

[357Snowball]

qhlpp yes!!!!! That would make my day... Only problem would be no one would be able to get a word in.

[evilmurderproduction]

Phil is funny

[qhlpp]

I want to see a QI superpanel with Alan Davies, Dara O'Briain, Bill Bailey, Rob Brydon, Phil Jupitus, Jimmy Carr, Ross Noble, David Mitchell, Sean Lock, Rich Hall, Jeremy Clarkson, Reginald D. Hunter and Emma Thompson.

I would also definitely not complain if they invite Frankie Boyle (Series R, Episode "Racist Door") and Brian Cox.

[RanpatMcMurphy]

Do people really find Phil Jupitus funny?. I think it's just a common misconception similar to many facts stated throughout the show. Even Andy Parsons is funnier than this fleshy planet of a man.

[qhlpp]

@RanpatMcMurphy well the word "funny" is subjective, so there is no such thing as "misconception" when it comes to funnyness. some people find Phil funny (like me), and some don't.

[RanpatMcMurphy]

@qhlpp So I could find the holocaust funny and you could not deny it. You would simply say that it wasn't funny in your opinion. How far do we take this concept?. Can I rate Critters 2 higher than the Godfather?. Can I rate Gary Neville higher than Zinedine Zidane?. All I have to do is say that it is MY opinion and you can't argue. I detect a sense of bollocks here.

[qhlpp]

@RanpatMcMurphy Well first of all I did not say that your opinion is "wrong" in any way (Again, opinions are subjective, most of the time there is no "right" or "wrong"). Secondly I generally don't take things to the extreme (like bringing up the holocaust and stuff).

[rtl4x4]

Argh, they left out the best part of the "public school tights" bit: Jupitus continues in the headmaster voice and roars 'FRY, YOU OAF, these are FISHNETS'

[TAfan2]

"Yes, goo-goo, indeed..:" xDDDD

[357Snowball]

Lol why the picture of Hugh laurie at " the biggest drip" ? I mean I know the work they've done together and everything, but why him in particular?

[JymArse]

@357Snowball because you can call someone a drip if you think they are boring. Therefore, worlds biggest drip=hugh laurie, as the joke.

And before someone starts moaning, it was just a joke by the show, you dont need to tell me how interesting and entertaining hugh laurie is, i know.

[357Snowball]

@JymArse Thank u very much for that reply. It so happens that I already knew that, which leaves me very confused as to why I left that comment in the first place. I was actually under the impression that someone else had left a comment asking what a drip was, and I had replyed in a similar fasion to you. ????????

[ThePhoenix815]

2:37 where's Alan?

[mouldyteabag]

@ThePhoenix815 Alan was absent due to a football match, for the opening shot of the episode which shows the entire panel from a distance, a look alike was used, then, a couple of pre recorded close up shots were used, and to ensure Alan lost the match, every now and again, alans voice would boom down in the studio and say all of the forefit answers in one go. Quite interesting? ;)

[LoveMagicMusic]

2:35 is one of the funniest images of Stephen Fry i have ever seen i very nearly wet myself!!!!!

[thedarknessareawsome]

what does he say at 1:38 "fry ....."

[SuzyTurquoiseBlue]

@thedarknessareawsome it think its "Fry put on the 15 dernier and see me in my study"

[thedarknessareawsome]

@SuzyTurquoiseBlue thanks

[darijoe]

A 2-minute build-up to 4:24 was absolutely worth it! Now I want to know what donkey cheese would take like if they tried to make it...

[groove1971]

Phil is so unfunny! He only states the obvious and then repeats it (usually) in tht hope that he gets a laugh!

[latindancer4ever]

Stephen... such a sweetheart!

[chiphead777]

funny, but you missed out one of my favourite jupitus jokes on QI.

Stephen Fry: "have you ever slid down a banister?"

Jo Brand: "No, but i slid down a barrister once"

Phill Jupitus: "Did you hit the knob on the end?!"

haha

[BaTeSy0527]

*Dolphin in Aisle 4, there's a dolphin in Aisle 4... he's by the Tizer*

[Wildrage101]

'I am an indeed an infant, and I know you think I'm Lord Albemarle but actually I am a little baby with a beard' I wish I could speak like that all the time

[dianagram]

Phill's dolphin impression is sublime ...

[dianagram]

"in fact, the donkey can do it from a different field"

[NightMarkVII]

I WANT DONKEY CHEESE!

[SatoTM3]

"to quantify its bigness would be doing it a disservice!!" ill be using that one tonight ;D

[xion2468]

At 0:54 to 1:17. So funny!!!

"Feet, Metre, anything! Throw me a f****ing bone here!" Lol! XD

[xion2468]

I love QI, Stephen Fry and Phill Jupitus. Thanks for uploading this.

[ElreniaGreenleaf]

'to quantify it's bigness would be doing it a disservice' XD

Stephen's horse impression has me in stitches every time - as someone who knows several completely daft horses, it's freakishly accurate! lol

[stuthomo100]

@Baden98 see i thought that, but then i remebered that happened in a halloween episode or something like that? on the other hand i could be totally wrong :L

[kitzlaihel]

What does 'merdeera pas ney' mean ?

[nromanova]

@kitzlaihel madeira pince-nez, you mean? madeira is wine, pince-nez is... pince-nez.

[kitzlaihel]

Thanks. 

[wordsmithinus]

@nromanova Thanks for explanation - I was wondering that too. Seeing it written out it makes sense now. :-)

[Proudnewfoundlander1]

"I want donkey cheese !!!"

[finehomemadewine]

"Beer Gogles" -there they cought dear Mr. Fry on something :-)!!!!! ...I had baking rum today- Ifancy them all

[tclol]

lol jupitus' I WANT DONKEY CHEESE! just killed me

[Kjernekar]

The dolphin bit had me rolling on the floor :D

[Sopphopper]

I love Alan's parachute impersonation!

[CassiaAleriPrice]

who is missing at 2:44?

[stuthomo100]

@CassiaAleriPrice alan davies, but i can't remeber why he is missing.

[Kverul]

@stuthomo100

He went off to watch a soccer match if I remember correctly.

[Baden98]

@stuthomo100 I believe it had something to do with his buzzer, when he pressed it he disappeared but you could still hear him

[TheManWithNoName786]

How big? Vast! lol

[JayRicci7891]

"How big is it? Oh VERY! If I was to quantify its bigness would be doing it a diservice! Bigly big, the vastly big bigness... of the dripping thing... I want feet, metres, anything throw me a Fuckin bone Fry!"

[paddy25c]

where's Alan gone during the the whole donkey cheese thing

[thomatude]

I WANT DONKEY CHEESE!

[Llynok]

I want DONKEY CHEEEESE!

[heathcliff10]

oh you're cracker !!!

[greenieboy94]

I saw phill yesterday at bluewater!!!!!!!

[Crazyivan777]

I want donkey cheese, too!

[smldfw]

I'm in tears, that's so funny. How do I get these DVD's in the states?

[Unit06JAW]

@smldfw Amazon.com

[raizersabre]

i want donkey cheese!!! XD

[medea1990]

Who is the girl at 7:21? Thank you!

[bricksalegend]

@medea1990

ronni ancona

[RosieGrl26]

@medea1990 Her name's Ronnie Ancona

[corensje]

I love the outfit stephen wears during the part about donkeys... which episode is it from? just seeing him moving his head with that hat makes me giggle, and I want to do that for 30 minutes ^^

[IsobelsTeaParty]

@corensje In the D series the episode was called "Divination"

[piaaguilos]

I Love you Phil <33

[oOZePirateOo]

"Fry put on the 15 denier and see me in my study"

lmao :)

[lilleahhere05]

yes, goo goo, indeed

i have a lollypop

and i have no control of my bowels while urinating

omg! soo funnyyy

[Tsugo582]

omg jimmy carr + billy bailey!

haha oh this shoe is epic!

[fangirl8392]

I adore how Phil flirts with Stephen. XD

[squishy3000]

"I WANT DONKEY CHEESE!" XD

[macolleague]

"You're all rotters, and I hate you!" Ohh Stephen, is there no end to your adorableness?

[AdaraVernea]

"I WANT DONKEY CHEESE!"

[josefgiven]

1:39 - where's the best bit?

"Fry you oaf, those are fishnets!" :D

[kisbie]

And madam, might I tell you I've been a very naughty baby!

[medea1990]

Great! Wonderful!

[Corbon440]

Can't beat Phil, Bill and Simon on NMTB.