Eddie Izzard: Empires

[cesargarzan96]

my favorite history teacher

[amenatsuhasujinseii]

....hetalia anyone?

[Brandt761]

Hitler never played RISK as a kid...

[guythatonlycomments]

@Brandt761 omg and thats how he lost D:

[RoxieGirl141]

I'd love to have him as a teacher.

[Sandkastenrockerin01]

@Rocketpeace1 okay. lawl.

[HECKproductions]

lol i saw this million times i starteds watching it ages ago and i used to find it funny.. none of this has changeg EDDIE IZZARD FOR QUEEN!! (homes simpsons for president reference lol)

[Joiner113]

@HECKproductions Hate to break it to you, but Eddie Izzard is male. Hence the name "Eddie".

[HECKproductions]

@Joiner113 i know he is male but i never heard of the king of england (not in modern times i mean) and a king with high heels and miniskirt??

[Joiner113]

@HECKproductions Hwat the fuck? England has a king OR a queen, depending on whether the monarch is male or female. Did you ever actually go to school?

[HECKproductions]

@Joiner113 no.. not in england

[Joiner113]

@HECKproductions It's common fucking knowledge. You should KNOW that a king is male and a queen is female. Christ, I weep for the future of our planet.

[HECKproductions]

@Joiner113 lol.. you dont get my point

[Joiner113]

@HECKproductions Yes I do. Being a transvestite doesn't make him female. Ergo, he would be a king. Let's just wrap it up here.

[HECKproductions]

@Joiner113 whatever

[FalloutTheMaster]

I am ashamed to admit it, but i was really thrown by him being a transvestite, i'm glad i got past it though cuz he has to be one of my favorite and the best comedians i've ever heard/seen

[Sandkastenrockerin01]

i´m actually german, but everytime i hear someone talk bout germans, i think i may be a secret italian or something.

my room is a mess (and if you wanna smile and say "mine too" now - no. mine is definetly more messy.), i´m a total chaotic and i always work on three or four things at the same time.

I HAVE NO FUCKING SYSTEM!

[HKMac07]

Anyone else think Eddie should write for hetalia axis powers?

[crazy6521]

this guy is hilarious but is he gay cause y does he dress like this

[EarlofCrawford]

@crazy6521 He's not gay. Not by a longshot.

[Explodenater]

He his very funny ( Hittler never play risk when he was a kid)

[fredeblob]

Well done! You killed one hundred thousand people!? Your diary must be very full

[darthslaxes]

He WAS a mass-murdering fuckhead!

[menckencynic]

@darthslaxes Well, as many important historians have said. 

[123backinyerface]

Definitely his best show in my opinion.

[halfdogderek]

The Austrial-Hungarian Empire who were famous for FUCK ALL!

[darkangel160]

I really love how much the make-up enhances his facial expressions to make him all the more funnier

[Colin69972]

so true about risk YOU CAN NEVER HOLD IT

[seankid1390]

well done, u killed 100,000 people u must get up very early in the moring

[Ecofreak96]

Yes here in Texas we do hit ppl with bricks. :P

[RevanRA]

@Ecofreak96 Yes we do. Yes we do.

[Ecofreak96]

TEXAN POWA!!!!!

i love mah accent... :P

[ciscornBIG]

@chrisrosano2

I don't think sympathetic means what you think it means.

[halogmr]

@johnnyphoenix..... and ur saying he's not?

[icecat131]

Mass murdering fuck-head is a tequnical term.

[Lightning4119]

y'know, its true- you never could hold onto asia in risk.

[carmy77]

hes very clever :)

[rupepill]

More than just occasionally Mr Izzard's cleverness is elevated to a zany form of wisdom, possibly one of the most healthy ways for the universe to be viewed, considered and appreciated.

[marrydruli]

The most intelligent comment I've read in a while.Well done!

[darkendivide]

hhhahahhaahaahahahahhahhha

[DiggingMyOwnGrave2]

To attribute Mr Izzard's knowledge & perceptions of history and human civilization to...watching the History channel is pretty insulting.

(the UnHistory total Propaganda channel)

Nothing on TV is real. Nothing on TV is true.

The TV exists to control you.

[rupepill]

Very true: TV, computers and consumerism rule (possibly with some Divine Help - whoever might carelessly say that the big G lacks a sense of the absurd obviously has never had the stimulating experience of a face to face encounter with a chicken, to mention only one example of a truly comic expression).

[InaFaye]

@DiggingMyOwnGrave2

Eddie Izzard is on TV....

Oh shi--

[davevl1983]

did Izzard study history cause he knows alot

[Vynjira]

"I just talk complete bullshit. The history, the politics, I noticed that no one was using history, so there's a lot of history lying about the place, and it's all free, and it's on Wikipedia! You know, I use Wikipedia like a crazy idiot, now. Then I take all this stuff, and I regurgitate it into a weird angle"

Eddie Izzard - The Hour

[gratz11]

You're a real Eddie fan as am I so I just had to share that I have FRONT ROW tickets for one of his shows here in America in January!!!

[noremac94]

well i mean its pretty basic european history its he's really good at telling it how it should be

[119matburn]

@davevl1983 ya hi did

[119matburn]

@davevl1983 yes he did

[rutger5000]

@davevl1983 :

I think I saw all his shows on youtube, but I didn't get the expercion that he knows that much about history. I learned nothing new, and history is just a minor hobby of mine (Spend maybe 3 hours a month on it). You learn quiet a number of things with little effort.

[D0g63rt]

Damn! I will kill everyone in the world!

[gratz11]

LOL! I hope the next time I mention Hitler to my 10 yr. old students, I don't slip and call him a mass-murdering fuckhead (even though that's what I'll be thinking thanks to Mr. Izzard - who definitely should have been a teacher if not a comic and actor!) Hugs and kisses to Eddie!!!

[Vynjira]

I feel there are times you can swear in-front of children ,as long as you explain that its okay only because he really was a mass-murdering fuckhead.. but hey I'm weird.

[gratz11]

Yes, I agree, but I think I want to keep my job!! LOL

[Ria24Bella]

@Vynjira i thought he called him a genocidal fuck head with bunny rabbit ears?

[ranilinkov]

@gratz11

If you got some older students I strongly edvice you to show them this show

when I saw it the first time it found myself reading about historic events/leaders etc. for days

[iamseafoamgreen]

\o/ IZZARD \o/

[JayEey]

A quiche is a quiche in Britain. A flan is a thin sponge base that you would then put fruit on top. In America, flan is what Brits would call creme caramel.

[kountz81]

Actually, though what Americans call a Flan is essentially a creme caramel, we got the dessert itself via Mexico and it has a slightly different recipe.

[marathon1974]

Do you have a flag? lol

[megaverner]

Pardon my stupidity, but what the hell is a flan?

[marcusprice]

its a custard desert.

[greatsayain]

the flans i've seen are flat.  How can a flat thing collapse?

[METALFREAK03]

idiot.

[narukyuubi]

flans are actually somewhat like a 3d trapezoid with a circular top. If its not done well, it will collapse.

[chereadnine]

flan is the british name for quiche.

if you dont know what quiche is google it!

[clottoyup]

no it isn't.

[phonlik]

No it isnt - we have quiche!

If YOU dont know what a flan is google it!!

[rhcp1lovethemgreat]

Can't get the damn trees to work, damn, i'll kill everyone in the world!

[dancingpaws1]

all they did was slowly collapse like a flan in a cupboard.

omg i love him

[soccerstar821]

just get everyone on Papua New Guinea and just build up and build up.. lol

[IllyriaGodKing]

Somebody kills 100,000 people we're almost going, "...well done!" Haha.

[kiyoshi85]

"hilter never played risk as a kid" omg lol...

[StrangeEmily88]

The Ottoman empire famous for furniture for some reason, and the austro/hungarian empire famous for FUCK ALL!!!!

[GREYxox]

1:10 VAMPIRE TOOTH!!!

[mowgli2071]

Not sure about cake, but definitely burritos- dangerously hot on the ends, & damn near frozen in the middle.

[K1llingTime]

Vey funny.

[bikerjames12]

its so amazingly funny... and i love how it's 90% of the time historically correct... he says the countries the nazis took over in order lol

[SinsyFish]

'Help yourself! We've been trying to kill you for ages!'

Fantastic!

[mkmtrumpeter]

"I can't get the fucking trees... DAMN, I WILL KILL EVERYONE IN THE WORLD! And he was a mass murdering fuck-head, as many important historians have said..."

He's grand. I adore him :D

[grogandroppa]

Hitler ended up in a ditch covered in petrol on fire...thats fun!!!

i`ll be using that one on the youtube Nazi`s

[relmmih6]

cant you think of your own material?

[grogandroppa]

Hitler was a fuckwit that ended up in a ditch covered in petrol & on Fire BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH

now fuck off you little youtube Naziwazi

[grogandroppa]

remind`s of an Auntie of mine.

[K1llingTime]

Why is he dressed like a girl? I just don't understand the purpose. But he is still definitely funny!

[basherofnoggins]

'cause he's a transvestite

[Matt1yu]

An action transvestite*

[mowgli2071]

No kung fu grip?

[brown0eyed0wanderer]

it hasn't a purpose ^_^ he just likes it ^_^

[StrangeEmily88]

so that's fun...and that's funny. Because Hitler was a murdering fuck head hahaha.

[zeldagoblin]

...as many important historians have said...

[just2w4tch]

aw jeez... now I feel horrible. lol

[1234567890qwertymnbv]

what dvd is this from

[darklightx90]

It's from "Eddie Izzard: Dress to Kill".

Personally, it's my favorite of all of his routines. Gotta love the God of Comedy.

[sourringo]

HITLER NEVER PLAYED RISK WHEN HE WAS A KID~~

sooooooooooooo true lol

[mythicdove]

I love this bit, it's one of my favorites.  I quote from it constantly lol

[HappyHippo2409]

LOVE HIM! He's funny and very smart. Always says the right things!

[VTPPGLVR]

X-D

I don't like bad language, but just the way she smiles so widely when he goes "cause he was a mass-murdering f***head!" i'm just like "wait, what?!"

[liljont08]

LOL you fail. Eddie izzard is a GUY!

[tigers4evah]

ahaha

[vnally]

yeah, he identifies as male so it's okay to say "he." he's not a drag queen, he's a tranny. there's a difference.

[Keitel87]

"way she smiles so widely when he goes"

Most likely a typo.

[bugmenewt]

not all mass murderers are alike, some are still being celebrated as heroes

[circlestream]

i watched this with some friend a few years ago and i laughed so hard i farted really loud and im still living it down! lol !

[habooplaysbass]

i dont think Hitla played risk when he was a kid?

he might have?

[AAVEMAD]

Hitler wasnt a vegetarian!

Beside that, I LOVE EDDIE IZZARD!!

[Vampire1605]

He was actually...

[y2jsascha]

so cool

" i can't get ... DAMN I'LLkill everyone in the world!!!"

[ShatterPalm]

WTF?!?! @_x

[garfieldroxmysox]

I agree...WTF????

[dbc13]

haha that's so true when he said, "after a couple of years we won't stand for that"

[Nomad110371]

I wish my history teacher was as good at the subject as eddie.

[darkeyedmusician]

no kidding!! it would be so much more fun if they were like eddie :)

[Arundelcottage]

I agree!

[NumberOneDragon]

Has anyone seen the video where he talks about no smoking bans in bars? He says something to the effect of "...and soon there will be no drinking or talking." THANKS!

[gratz11]

to Number One Dragon - he talks about no smoking in bars at the beginning of Dress to Kill as a comment about the bars in San Francisco

[NumberOneDragon]

Thank you! I just watched that DVD last week.  I'm going to look for the clip.

[SwingBaby2006]

If Izzard was a history prof, his lectures would be AMAZING

[ftown631]

That would be the greatest

[InzuDraRagna]

It would be full of Win and Awesomesauce!

[brilady1304]

Hitler killed people next door, *tisk* stupid man.

lmfao!!!

[xxxdudexxx2008]

i can't get the fucking trees... dam i will kill everyone in the world!!!!

[harrypotterandmet731]

death death death death lunch death death death afternoon tea.....

[MLAOTNMCC]

Brilliant! Fucking brilliant!

[pccalhoun]

2:36 is actually a really brilliant message disguised as comedy.

[tabray1]

hitler was a idiot

[sk4t3b0arder]

oi he had an awsome mustache tho lol

[SuperAvarice]

granted he may of made the toothbrush moustache his own, he was still a mass murdering fuck head

[darkeyedmusician]

yea hilter was a big shit, i heard somewhere he liked that kinda thing ugh

[spardaking]

hitler was a genius but just a little wacky

[rlbigfish]

A genius at mental manipulation, and nothing more.

[chriskardos]

I think that's what he meant.

[jophus82]

I don't know...... I'd say a tad more silly than wacky.

[giveone]

Genius as far as manipulating and controlling people goes, but not in an effort to create a progress for humanity or do any good.

He was "a bastard" in simple terms, as said at 1:31

[chriskardos]

Little wacky?

[spardaking]

i ment that in a ironic way

[chriskardos]

ok. I thought it wasn't because of the 'but' word.

[JacintaSeabrook]

"I can't get the %&#@!&* trees, Damn, I will kill everyone in the world!!!!" - My favorite line. :D

[johnadams8000]

we don't acctually know what really killed hitler. we know that he killed himself. he had taken a siani capsule and then he shot himself. we don't know if the pill killed him, or the bullet. because you can shot yourself and not die from that.

[Belenor]

Well he did shoot himself in the head, but sure some ppl do live without half the brain...

[sk4t3b0arder]

bahahahaha well done sir

[greengiant4942]

This is so funny :)

People are pathetic who are getting wound up over this. ITS A JOKE AND HES A COMEDIAN.

If you can't handle grown up comedy don't watch it :)

[revz999]

Risk is a game , its very hard

[revz999]

Japan and the Axis (german) lost there empire

[revz999]

Hitler Commit suicide by killing his self

i think his an idiot

[Weava123]

really? such a thoughtful comment

[mkarnerfors]

Yes but his staff burned his body.

[Gemyxaman]

I agree. Hitler was an idiot..=)

Eddie is super!!

[Emmais2cool]

Hes so great and rox i luv yooh Eddie Izzard

[LoverofLiszt]

Actualy, Hitler was not a vegitarian. His favorite food was, according to his chef, stuffed dove. But he kept a strict vegitable diet, since meat gave him GASES AND A STOMACKACKE. So much for the illution of Hitler as a strict massmurding-machine.

"HEIL HITLER"...Phrfff.

[Ecofreak96]

"You kill ten ppl you go to Texas and they hit you with a brick, that's what they do," HEck YEAH we do!!

[TheBlitz1]

do you have a flag lOL

[piepodpersonmann]

he is hilarious!!

[Squashua1510]

Hitler never played risk when he was a kid.

[lucifel07]

I think that's funny...because he was a mass murdering fucker...LOL. It makes me laugh EVERY time. Score for the upload!

[zonkov88]

i think ricky gervais has funnier takes on hitler than him

[leadchick]

He's so much fun to watch! I think it's great that he is now getting into acting, too. Thanks for the videos & much needed laughs.

[rockhardXD]

Best as a transvestite, not as funny on the riches or across the universe

[kiwimimi123]

can't get that tree, DAMN I WILL KILL THE WHOLE WORLD. and his face on 1:09

[tvtownvideo]

What an awsome comical mind Eddie has!Thanks for the laughs!

[quartrmster007]

What is it that he says right before "Build that empire." at :22?

[blindey]

ein zwei ein zwei build ein empire

one two one two build a/an empire

[Drthunder11]

"ugh i cant get ze fucking tree-DAMN i will kill every1 in the world!"funny lol

[nikki13xoxo]

hahahhahaha his facial expressions are hilarious =D.

[rulkubara]

Turbo9987 im sorry for marking you spam...i clicked accidentally... sorry :(

[schticksngiggles]

i clicked on purpose.

[rulkubara]

lol evil you :p

[Turbo9987]

Hitler ended up in a ditch covered in petrol on fire...so...THATS FUN....I think that's funny...cuz he was a mass murdering FUCKHEAD!

[halflife7609]

i saw him on bbc america and i laughed my ass off