Added: 3 years ago
From: satanicwatermelon
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  • Twilight sucks because they took the badass image of the immortal vampire (somthing that has been talked about since the bible days) and not only ruined it but raped it. They made all the teens think vampires are a bunch of pussy fags that glitter in the sun and whine about girl problems. Since they are the next generation thats how they will percieve the vampire. So thank you twilight, thank you for killing a 2000 year old legend.

  • I watched this movie with a friend and i was watching it very understandingly. Its a chicks movie and we watched like a chick movie. When Edward said he was a monster and could not go into the light i was like oh mabye he will turn into some sicking fuck in the light. He walks into the light and becomes a shiny faggot. I ripped the movie out of the dvd played and fucking took a shit on it and so did my friend

  • Did you really get that question? Was that twihard serious?

    Why do you read the Twilight series if you don't like it?

    My answer: Dude, how is she supposed to decide if she likes the series or not if she hasn't read it? If she hates it it's because she obviously read it! You can't hate a book series you haven't read!!

    Did I make sense? I hope so. OK. Moving on, I love satanicwatermelon. This video is entertaining.

    And everything it says is true.

  • I completely agree with you. Twilight does suck.

  • marry me ? ◕‿◕

  • @Xxcupcake522xx those arent vampires. vampires dont sparkle.

  • btw, you sound like dani shay.....

  • 4:28 the actual video starts here, I didn't realize that for like years

    HAHAHA XD

  • True Blood TVD, House of night rock...so does Lost Boys.....Twilight sucks and so does Evernight...a Tw-rip off about two stupid whiny whores like Bella. and the author ( the stupid hoe) kills off the only proper vampire of the story....

  • and there is absolutley NO anatomic logic... How in the world is a guy supposed to have sex, when he doesn't have any body fluids..? ... and speak, move, kiss etc... o.O also in fantasy there are certain rules. -.-

  • Amen.

  • By the way, I don't care about Twilight at all (I think that it's just an obnoxious fad).

    If you want to watch a REAL vampire movie, I suggest Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992 Live-Action version). I watched it one night, and I liked it.

    This video is also fun to listen to. Keep up the good work.

  • 1.) This is a great vid. I absolutely agree.

    2.) Your not in any way, shape, or form "going against the norm". your just being whats called an "individual"; and since their arnt many of you left in this day and age, I would like to congradulate (and thank) you for your individuality...

  • i like you

  • Awesome.

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  • LOOOOOOOL

    You are awesome and very funny to boot.

  • @GeGeMus12 twilight's not bad if youre drunk or high. no not even drunk or high people like twishite. wanna know why? 'CAUSE IT FUCKIN SUCKS! taylor lautner is gay, btw.

  • @kinkyiam lol agreed

  • @PrincessJomalys then your life must REALLY suck.

  • @25twilighter *sarcasm* yeah, how dare you have your own reasonable opinion, you little asshole! yeah right. twilight's a shit-load-of-fuck

  • @Screamowned *shudders* agreed

  • Thank you for posting this. I fucking HATE twishite and ANYONE who likes it.

  • So, I just watched the trailer, and my first question is: Is the main character, "Bella" some sort of necrophiliac - beastality monster?

  • Twilight can kiss Van Helsing and Underworld ass!!!!!

  • Oh my god. You are just amazing. I love how mad you are. I love knowing someone agree's with me.

  • Twighlight: The story about a bitchy girl who has a tough choice to make. Will she get into Necrophilia or Beastiality?

  • i can proudly announce that i love the vampire diaries (tv show).

    that is all.

  • thumbs down bc you read, fuck reading !!!!!!!!!

  • I agree with you 100 percent, the only thing i could say that is bad about your statements or arguments, is just that you didn't begin to explain why twilight sucks for 4:30 because you wanted to answer questions or statements. :\ don't get me wrong, i can see why you did it, but just fuck what other people say or ask you, it just makes them look like fucktards when they say it :)

    thanks for the intellect by the way

  • Voldemort and his Death eaters pwns all of the vampires in twilight.

    Harry potter forever and always<33

  • I think you used to big of words for Twitards can understand.

  • ur so funny! haha love ur voice & how it draws u in. love the part about having thoughts and thats why you don't read twilight! haha stalkers and pedophilias, never thought of the latter but its so true! you also left out that twilight makes girls think there is a "perfect" guy out there if that is what edward is considered but there is no perfect guy.Last book & movie (wikipedia) also says how it ok to get married & have sex @ a young age. plus her baby grows to be a kid in like 7 days?! dumb

  • Intelligence, a detest for Twilight AND a dry sense of humour...I like you!

  • At the breaking dawn premiere i waited at the door and told everyone either, you're a fucking retard or go fuck yourself until i was literally "escorted from the premises" which was just some stupid mall cop threatening me with mace......worth it.

  • twilights GAY people!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    

  • @Diamixen LOL good one!!!

  • I haven't seen Twilight or read any of the books, but I know people who have and they all said the series is lousy. A couple of DJ's couldn't understand the fascination with Bella, and they couldn't figure out why the vampire and the werewolf competed for her love as though she were the only girl in the whole wide world. I frankly agree with them.

  • lol her username is "satanicwatermelon"

  • Am I the only one who trolled at the Breaking Dawn midnight premier?

  • @ushdr I went to the cinema with my friends just to laugh our asses off. xD

  • I love this girl.

  • To all those Twilight fans out there.

    Everyone is entitled to their own opinion it's just that yours is stupid

  • A no-holds-barred, I-don't-give-a-shit-what-you-t­hink opinion... I like it.

  • I like underworld better

  • plants do have "blood" so to speak, it's called chlorophyll.

    great vid btw

  • @HereKittyKittyxoxo  Actually, it's called xylem and phloem. Chlorophyll is just the pigment that makes the plants green.

  • TwitTards: TEAM EDWARD/JACOB

    Me: Team Universal Monster Movies now shut the fuck up.

  • @Seb0astian Amen brother!

  • @Scienceorc / brofist

  • well done

  • Salem's Lot > Twilight

  • team hellsing for the win

  • YOU. ARE. AWESOME.

  • X-Men vs Twilight... I can't believe I could even compare those sparkly fucks to the X-Men.

  • VAMPIRES DONT FUCKING SPARKLE!!!!

  • @satanicwatermelon i think you may be my HERO thank you

  • ROTFLMAFO 6:14

  • I would love to have a drink with you.

  • Plant blood does exist! it's called barley water

  • Love this video!!!! Vamiper's Suck! great movie hahahaha

  • Upset about the twilight saga...it is a book. No reason to be upset. Be mad about something that means something. Like kill shelters, or poverty, homelessness, abandoned babies/children....just saying, there are more important things to be upset about....it is a book, not true...just a book for entertainment purposes...

  • @cb86al07 there are ppl who like myself that believes in vampires thank u very much

  • Upset about the twilight saga...it is a book. No reason to be upset.

  • Let's wait for The Hobbit to wiped that gay ass twilight on the floor.

  • @romanj24- dude it's spelled Necropheliac/Necrophelia

  • Team Alucard! :D

  • The Definition of Twilight is a girls decision to either Convert to Beastiality or become a Nacrofiliac. lol... Twilight sucks, True Blood is better ;)

  • Team Anti-Twilight

  • Team Lovecraft

    Cthulhu Fhtagn

  • I'm a girl and I'm fucking sick of Twilight. Edward is creepy,ugly and only likes Bella for her smell,Bella is a whiny bitch who only likes Edward for his looks. There's no love people,wake up and smell the coffee! Twilight is nothing but a bad attempt at a soap opera with emo vampires. What's to like? I really don't get why it's such a huge phenomenon.

  • @randomusername35 I so agree with you!

  • @chipmunkspy5 Thanks lol. :D

  • @randomusername35 .....are you single?

  • @BlackIce3190 No. U mad twilight fag?

  • @randomusername35 Oh hell no. Twilight's the biggest piece of shit to come out of literature. Asking because every chick in my town is obsessed with Twilight. Glad to finaly see one that's not.

  • @BlackIce3190 Oh,okay. I'm sorry for replying the way I did,I misinterpreted your comment. As for those chicks,they piss me off to no end. I could never be one of them. And what puzzles me the most is that they think Twilight potrays the ultimate love. They think it's romantic to have a "hot" vampire (who is in fact a dead guy after all) watch you sleep at night. I'm pretty sure that's called stalking.

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  • twilight fucking blows

  • I love this video so much ever since I discovered it I've watched it 4 times!! And I plan on watching it every time I visit YouTube for the next 30 days or something! It's just A-MA-ZING!! Thank you, SatanicWatermelon for the epic entertainment!!

  • Seriously, even the count from sesame street is manlier and a more well thoughtout character than this guy

  • you get Alcurd from helsing

  • Team Edward!

    Elric c: Team Edward Elric. Cuase he's fucking ten times more awesome

  • Well Meyer's a mormon.

    Pro-pedophile anti-gay is normal for religious nuts.

  • I totally freaking love you, you are hilarious, you entertain me so much!

  • Satanicwatermelon? I thought nothing could beat my ''Evil Psychotic Devil Bird'' nickname

  • I like Twilight and I still found this video hilarious. :)

  • ***Creeper Comment***

    Your voice is soothing OwO

  • I agree with you. is it weird that I like your voice?

  • Stephenie Meyer is a dumbass! What the hell made her think that vampires sparkle? Was she on some fuckin crack? I think so.

  • @LilFaisal1 Please go back to your wet dreams about the Cullen boys and shut the hell up, okies? No one cares what your opinion is right now. In fact, you just make Twilight fans look like retards with poles up their asses. Good day.

  • i agree twatlight fucking sucks balls and is a disgrace to vampires. fucking faggy sparkling queers.

  • Team Darren,Buffy,Lestat AND Damon! :D 

  • Saying such rude stuff about the author isnt gonna to make it any less popular, so why dont u just respect everyone who enjoys it? The Twilight Saga is very successful, and Stephenie Meyer deserves all of the attention the movies and the books have created.

    You say that only all of the teenage girls are interested in it, when truthfully there are millions of adults who watch it too."Oh my gosh, Twilight is so gay, i hate Twilight, what kind of sick mother f***** made this sh*t up??!" SHUTUP!!

  • @LilFaisal1 Those adults who read it seriously have not had their tastes matured yet. If you want a real vampire and werewolf story then read the Hellsing manga.

  • @zombiesite1 Im sorry. I've heard of TVD, House of night, Vampire academy, and more. But Hellsing Manga I have never heard of. Did you make it up? Or is it some fucked up comic animation, cause no one reads those. Not unless your a fat geek who has nothing better to do then to read kid comics, which I doubt you are.

  • @LilFaisal1 Another stereotypical idiot. Hellsing is sort of like a comic. It's a manga so it's a japanese comic black&white. And while it may not be as popular as Twilight, it sure is a hell of a lot better. Popularity does not always equal good quality. Hellsing has a great plot, the vampires are actually killing machines and obliterate everyone in their path, and also nazi vampires all over the place.. So to sum it all up, Twilight can't even stand up against Hellsing.

  • You just gotta admit that Hellsing Manga is a fuck tarted, gay, dumbass comic that no one reads. Sure as hell alot better? Yeah, right. I guess thats why Twilight is in the best selling list and wins awards. While your ugly animation is crap. NO ONE READS THOSE. And japanese? Even worse.

  • @LilFaisal1 Wow, you really are a dumbass. Popularity does not always equal good quality. Hitler was popular but would you consider him good? At least Hellsing doesn't have a shitty plot with a terrible love story. Now go back to masturbating to your poster of edward little teenage cunt. Until you hit puberty you are about as worthless as twilight.

  • @LilFaisal1 And just to prove my point. Look at all these rants about Twilight, tons of people hate the series. However here on Youtube I have not found a SINGLE rant about Hellsing. Your opinions are invalid.

  • @zombiesite1 You know why you havent heard rants on Hellsing Fuck? BECAUSE NO ONE READS IT. and its not popular enough to become a movie or for people to actually hate it. And yeah, every series of books has haters, but if twilight has tons of haters, they also have millions of lovers. Myself Included. So, DIP SHIT, no one like Hellsing Fuck because only fucked up dorks read gay comics. Understand? Now shut the hell up and stop fucken messaging me bitch.

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  • @LilFaisal1 Oh and only gay fags like Twilight. Au Revoir!

  • @LilFaisal1 Wonder why Twilight gets Teen Choice Awards and not Grammys?

  • @CamericaUSA So what? At least it gets fucken awards! not even counting the individual ones. And does Hellsing Fuck get any awards what so ever? Nope.

  • @LilFaisal1 They're one star movies. Twilight isnt good, it is mediocre, has 3 movies all one star. Go watch Lord of the Rings, now thats a masterpiece. Hellsing I havent even heard of, Twilight isnt good. Only teens like it. Twilight isnt good, the whole movie is about romance. Robert Pattinson was in Harry Potter 5, wonder why he didnt get a second movie shot?

  • @CamericaUSA he was in harry potter 4 and he gets murdered, its pretty nice.

  • @LilFaisal1 First. there is a difference between Manga and comics. -_- Secondly. I found so many things wrong with Twilight (Grammar wise). And I'm thirteen. Meyer's charcters are 2D. And Bella has no life.And how the hell can Edward get someone pregnant when he's dead? It's impossible.And there is a thin line between fiction and just never going to happen. Meyer ahs found that line and danced on and spit on it.

  • @LilFaisal1 Girlfriend go and pick up the hellsing series and enrich your life. One of the best vampire series ever.

  • @HaloandMetroid SHUT UP BITCH MAN! I dont wana read fucked up comics

  • @LilFaisal1 Bitch man? I'm a girl dude. Way off. Secondly how can you call hellsing gay and you refuse to read it. Yeah. Messed up logic there. If you like twilight why are you even on here?

  • @LilFaisal1 "Comics" hahahahah no, There Van Hellsing novels.

  • @LilFaisal1 what have you been smoking? comics are the greatest thing since sliced bread. Have you ever seen 300, Watchmen, V for Vendetta, BATMAN? Wait, I forgot; grand, metaphysical speak makes twi-tards melt. How silly of me. Oh and by the way, Steven Spielberg has actually expressed interest in Hellsing. Suck on that.

  • @HaloandMetroid I have a better idea of what that stupid fuckhold should read. X-Men. Do you like them?

  • @tvirus1234 xmen is great i love the movies

  • @LilFaisal1 Why should she shut up? She's expressing her opinion, and why should she respect "everyone who enjoys it" when obviously "everyone" who enjoys it, such as yourself, does not respect her dislike for it?

    Plus, the fact that adult middle aged women lust after a man stuck in a seventeen year old's body is very VERY creepy. Of course, that is just my opinion. Is that okay with you?

  • Twilight and Edward Cullen suck fucking ass. For some good Vampire Goodiness and to see an AWESOME Vampire, play Castlevania and be nice to Alucard. And listen to Castlevania SOTN: OST: Dracula's Castle. It is better than twilight.

  • My grandparents are dead, so I'd find them frolicking naked in the woods much more terrifying, as it would be a sure sign that zombies were invading

  • Oh, I am loving the title.

  • Team Edward or Team Jacob? > _>

    GO TEAM LESTAT.

    Moral here: Vampires don't FUCKING SPARKLE, they own the fucking world and look good doing it

  • seriosuly, I have been a new kid 5 times, lemme tell ya, she's right. No one gives a f-

    I agree with everything else too.

  • Team Edward = Wrong!

    Team Jacob = Wrong!

    Team STFU about Twilight = Correct!

  • you sound like my friend devon :/

  • Harry Potter is about doing what is right in the face of adversity. Twilight is about how important it is to have a boyfriend.

  • @YankeesRock4eva Twilight is horribly written. They don't describe Belle at all, putting you in her place. So it's like erotic literature for teenagers.

  • I love the way you talk.

    You rock!

  • I Spent 50 F'n Bucks Buying The First Book Cuz It Said Vampire On The Back And When I Read It I Got Real Pissed It Was A Bout A 100 Year Old Sparkling Fairy Trying To Fuck A 16 Year Old And The Dialouge And Shit Sucked Everything About It Sucked Fuck You Meyer

  • STEPHEN KING KICKS ASS  NO SPARKLING CHILD MOLESTING VAMPIRES

  • VAMPIRES SUCK PERIOD!!! HAVENT WE MILKED THIS GENERE ENOUGH?

  • go Team "Interview with the Vampire" a old classic.

  • @CarolAnnePoltergeist

    Well, I would agree, but Buffy would be too nice.

    Team Angelus, anyone?

    Or, how about "Team I don't give a shit"?

  • @ninjabreadman1993r Team Drusilla b/c she's the best.

  • @talktoleo Eh, I still think Team Angelus...Drusilla is insane, true, but Angelus would destroy Edward in a much more thorough and entertaining way.

  • lol the questions took up half the vid. I don't care enought about Twilight to love or hate it. I'm leaning toward hate.

  • @8TwilightFangirl8- dont caplock your entire sentence, it makes you look like a desperate emo craving attention. if you can come up with a decent argument on why "Shitard" is the best movie/book in the world, you will get some kind of respect. now, go fuck your dead guy.

  • fuck twilight and fuck who ever wrote this books!!!!!!!

  • Team Buffy and Team Blade!!! They would pwn the shit out of all the gay vampires in Twilight.

  • You're so funny lol and I totally agree with everything you said

  • Team Tyler`s van WTF!!

  • Remembered when this video had only 5,000 views T-T awesome video. My 10th time watching it lol.

  • In addition good video. :) I enjoyed it.

  • Honestly Twilight is a disgrace to literature. It lacks a coherent plot. The main character is a Mary Sue who has no connection with the readers. She gives away her humanity without a care in the world. She is highly selfish. I often feel for her dad. She gets love confused with lust. She wouldn't even like Edward if he wasn't a vampire or Jacob. I have taken many Honors and AP Courses in English and after my findings Twilight I find that S.M should not pick up a pen. Ever Again.

  • @Makey156 Well said,compadre.

  • Agree with everything you say...........

    and you have a beautiful voice

  • Watch polandbanana's twilight rant. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion :/

  • The only difference between Edward and Angel is that Angel is a likeable character. He can be surprisingly funny and has a darkside that even Spike hates. Edward SPARKLES! VAMPIRES DON'T SPARKLE!

  • Edward cullen is also a rip-off of Angel. Edward Cullen can't have sex with Bella because it might release his "animal urges". Angel can't have sex with Buffy because Angel might have a moment of pure happines and he might turn into Angelus his monster alter ego. Edward stalks Bella. Angel follows Buffy on her nightly patrols so he can help Buffy when she needs it. Edward took Bella to the prom. Angel also took Buffy to the prom before he left Sunnydale. Watch the show so you'll know what I mean

  • Aside from sparkling vampires what I really hate about Twilight is it's just a rip-off of Buffy and Angel. Think about it. Bella is a almost a complete rip-off of Buffy. Bella moves into a new town that has vampires. Buffy also moves into a new town that has vampires. Bella 's parents are divorced,Buffy's parents are also divorced. A "vampire" falls in love with Bella. Angel falls in love with Buffy. The only difference between them is that Bella is worthless and Buffy KICKS ASS!

  • i dont like Twilight but ail fuck you if you want : )

  • @herounlimited13

    I forgot to add this one:

    10. Team Hellsing

  • Vampire (and Vampire Hunter) Teams that are better than Twilight:

    1. Team Blade

    2. Team Winchester

    3. Team Buffy

    4. Team Dracula

    5. Team Lestat

    6. Team Carmilla

    7. Team Frog

    8. Team Belmont

    9. Team Joestar/Kujo

  • @herounlimited13 dont forget Team Alucard.

  • @MaxxSwan13 Team Hellsing doubles as Team Alucard, it just includes Integra, Seras, Pip, Walter, Father Anderson, the Major, the badass werewolf, Luke Valentine, and my favorite character, Jan Valentine.

  • @herounlimited13 no fuck them all Team Alucard from Castlevania is the best

  • @herounlimited13 You forgot Team Vanhelsing :).

  • @herounlimited13 Winchester, as in Dean winchester?

  • @LilFaisal1 Dean and Sam Winchester.

  • @herounlimited13 hey you forgot Angel! Tean Winchester should be number one

  • Thank you! Finally, a SANE video explaining clearly and intelligently WHY Twilight sucks.

  • @jumpingdolphin1995

    I totally agree with you!! Every sane person should diss Twilight!!! You are automatically cool in ma view now!

  • Team The Others from A Song of Ice and Fire series! No one can beat those blue eyed demons!

  • Team the OThers from A Song of Ice and Fire series!

  • Team Dracula bitches. No one can beat the original vampire <3

  • Team Blade 

  • ZOMG!!! INTELLIGENSE ON THE INTERWEBZ!! Twilight hater cat is amused.

  • Twilight copied vampire diaries Team vampire diaries

  • Team Buffy bitches, fuck twilight

  • @devilshomie Team Darren. That's all that must be said.

  • I miss when people actually had something resembling standards for entertainment instead of liking third-tier garbage like Twilight and Justin Bieber.

    Back in my day, we actually had REAL vampire movies like From Dusk Till Dawn, Interview With a Vampire, Buffy The Vampire Slayer (though the series WAS a lot better than the movie IMO)... Now we have garbage like this. Back in the 90s, we actually had REAL music from various genres instead of shit like Bieber or Ke$ha or Rebecca Black...

  • OH MY GOD! I has found intelligence on the internets!!! Thank you for this video I enjoyed the hell out of it!

  • lol

    I couldn't agree moar. Alucard rocks!

  • You just every argument I gave in high school; I was literally the only person who despised Twilight with a vengeance, and people would ask me all the time and would argue (and, for the record, none of their arguments made sense). Half the girls in my school didn't like the books, they liked the movies, and I get a hunch it was because of a certain werewolf who, I think, looks like a girl. (As for Robert Pattinson? Well, he's just plain ugly, nough said)