BADD: Christianese

[anna12910]

haha, okay, the "uh huh" and "mhm"...that was too funny!

[voiceofelijah2012]

Maybe this explains why the Presbyterian denomination is beginning to accept homosexuality within it's members.

[psykdiva]

I'm surprised they listed "uh-huh" as a Christianese phrase. Everyone says "uh-huh", don't they? (This is your cue to say "Uh-huh".)

;)

[psykdiva]

I guess "mm mm mm" is said during the food portion of the fellowship? :)

[82Ryguy]

Thank you! This is a great teaching illustration to contrast Paul's sermon at Mars Hill.

[jonmyers1167]

spot on...funny as hell!

[Tobbs96]

Christian: "I will pray for you."

Me: "Yeah, to hell with you too."

Christian: O_O

Me: "Yes, I know what it means. I've taken lessons in Christianese, bitch!"

[gneisenau321]

@Tobbs96

Anybody can say "to hell with you". You suck.

[Tobbs96]

@gneisenau321 Thank you for your divinely important comment. The skies open up to your unending wisdom!

[Katalyzt]

Heh

[ewetubesuxass]

Funny stuff!

[woweixiaomiandui]

learn why other christians do such things as: ... Believe in Sophia ...

haha, gnosticism. nice touch :D

[extrovertedthinker]

Well that's pretty much spot on...

[misfitsfiend69]

oh great another way for the church to take peoples money

[TheLORDismySheperd1]

This is seriously a really hilarious video! I just had a Christian friend of mine forward it to me & we're both laughing!!

Note: To all the "serious" or "angry" posters, (whether you claim to be a Christian or atheist), CHILL OUT FOR 5 MINUTES AND LAUGH!!! IT'S A JOKE!

[ChavoMysterio]

I got a really good Christianese term here. It is called CONVICTION. The English term for CONVICTION is OPPRESSION. Many street preachers and street envangelists use that term when a person gets offended and either gets pissed off at the hate speech or feels so shameful and guilty.

[ForHisNameSake1236]

Mi combate con estas! Good!

[ForHisNameSake1236]

LOL. Ok so where to start? @ninure; get over yourself, recognize humor (these people don't actually MEAN it, genius), and don't be so self-righteous. We are ALL (me, you, and my neighbors poodle) EQUALLY sinner and it took just as much to save you as it would to save the worlds biggest atheist. So stop giving Jesus a bad name and go do something productive for Him.

[rathat48]

They should have a jewish one that teaches you yiddish.

[alynnidalar]

What! Clearly this is not a truly Christian organization. What is that woman doing outside of the kitchen?!

[TheLORDismySheperd1]

@alynnidalar HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Oh that really made me laugh, so hard!!! Even though it's totally wrong, lol, I gave you a thumbs up for making me laugh that good :)

[Ninure]

Well you do realize that this is demonic attack on Christians, and you are all going yo hell, don't you?

[chichi123xx]

LOL "if I didn't open my home up to others, I'd find myself grieving the holy spirit!"

[Elizabeth1ification]

Be not deceived. God is not mocked! A new Christian would not understand certain phrases in the Bible. I remember one person asking in Bible Study what "and the veil of the temple was rent in twain from the top throughout" meant. He though a veil was only something brides wore.

[juicebox0007]

What's really sad is the mockery of it all. Everything said comes from the Bible, so youre mocking it. I don't get it. And you call yourself a christian church? wow! It maybe a different language to those who really dont know the things of God, so I guess I shouldnt be surprised.

[thedayisathand]

@juicebox0007 If you want to speak the language of the Bible, you've gotta learn Ancient Greek or Hebrew. What's the point of going half-way?

[1ights1eeper]

@thedayisathand Absolutely. Craziest stance in the history of religious craziness? People who think that the myriad and obvious mistranslations of the King James supersede the original texts. 'Cause learning another language is *hard*.

People: If you have even a passing interest in scripture, the absolute least you can do is read the *actual* scripture. Remember: your eternal salvation depends on having an absolutely accurate interpretation of those words.

[obaeyens]

@1ights1eeper

"Remember: your eternal salvation depends on having an absolutely accurate interpretation of those words."

Yeah right, god is so limited that he cannot even create a book that is readable in any language and has the exact same message.

[TheLORDismySheperd1]

@obaeyens Thumbs down for lack of effort in researching info before posting a REALLY ignorant comment.

[obaeyens]

@TheLORDismySheperd1

"Thumbs down for lack of effort in researching info before posting a REALLY ignorant comment."

I see you are an expert, then tell me how a god created/inspired bible can have so many variants and different meanings. The numerology from those bibles should be the exact same thing i it is translated in Chinese, English, German, French... Better would be that a French bible should be readable by a Chinese that does not know French. That would prove the bible to be from a god

[TheLORDismySheperd1]

"Yeah right, god is so limited that he cannot even create a book that is readable in any language and has the exact same message." - obaeyens (you)

The textus receptus was written in over 500 languages, of which there were over 3,000 copies. The "received text", however written in so many hundreds of languages, was VERBATIM in translation. All of these texts were translated into our English language; also known as the King James version. In Spanish, it's called, "Santa Biblia" circa 1905.

[TheLORDismySheperd1]

@obaeyens And proving that it would be "from GOD", there are thousands of prophecies fulfilled that the Bible has fortold of. However, "proof" doesn't seem to be the problem for a lot of anti-Christians.

It's usually a mixture of pride or guilt (ect), are really what stands between hearing & refusing to hear.

There's a lot of really great (and free) websites that talk about these very subjects. The history of the Bible or prophecy fulfillment, are easily searchable & verifiable.

[HentaiGaiJin]

@TheLORDismySheperd1 "there are thousands of prophecies fulfilled that the Bible has fortold of"

Name ONE.

[TheLORDismySheperd1]

@HentaiGaiJin 5 fulfilled prophecies in the Bible:

The Jews would survive Babylonian rule and return home

Bible prophecy: Jeremiah 32:36-37

Prophecy written: Sometime between 626-586 BC

Prophecy fulfilled: 536 BC

Enemies would move into the land of Israel

Bible prophecy: Leviticus 26:32-33

Prophecy written: As early as 1400 BC

Prophecy fulfilled: Beginning in about 721 BC

[TheLORDismySheperd1]

@HentaiGaiJin Jesus prophesied that the Temple would be destroyed Bible prophecy: Matthew 24:1-2 Prophecy written: During the first century Prophecy fulfilled: 70 AD Jesus prophesied that the Jews would be exiled Bible prophecy: Luke 21:24 Prophecy written: During the first century Prophecy fulfilled: 70 AD Zion would be "plowed like a field" Bible prophecy: Micah 3:11-12 Prophecy written: Sometime between 750-686 BC Prophecy fulfilled: 135 AD

[farmerdude5]

@juicebox0007 Hey genius, I don't think they're Christians. Its called satire.

[Gordonisgreat]

@juicebox0007 - what is really *funny* is the mockery of it all

[TCLTC]

Funniest part of all is the christians who think it's funny, not even perceiving the mockery!

Brilliant x2!

[dave28lax]

Christianism sure is weird.

[insanewarlock666]

is there satanese?

[EmanLaerton]

"Humbled and blessed." How is it you missed the biggest Christian cliche? Your customers will be left in the dark without "humbled and blessed." It's the holy substitute for that sinful pride feeling. When you're feeling proud, avoid damnation and just say you're humbled and blessed. Works for me!

[dmimcg]

This video is about a quart low on grace.

[maskiavelli]

That's Awesome

[mistsfromthepast]

Ha-ha!

[JesseBochekTV]

So true....why can't some just speak english?

[TheTrueHappy]

@quintios Well, some denominations do that. Can't really argue with it.

[CNash85]

Was the narrator channeling Phil Hartman? Sounds so much like him...

[naoioan]

This is hilarious! Would love to see a comparison one with Yinglish/Yeshivisih. Lot of things in common!

[davidlearn]

Proof that even non-Pentecostals speak in unknown tongues.

[Tropicaliak]

hahaha! I love it. people do speak like this...I guess I am fortunate to have learned the words growing up in a church, but I still hesitate to fall into a code...

[oilhammer04]

Just read the Word and skip the series. :)

[emiboocruz]

omg you guys are so funny... i've watched this so many times and never get bored of it

"i struggle with that."

[maemae1979]

Mi combate con estes! ROTFL

[tnicole007]

WOW! I PROMISE you, for a LOOONG time I just didn't know all these little "phrases"....and I grew up in the church!!

[koosiv]

this is HILARIOUS! ...love it!!! My Christian friends

are driving me nuts! Wish they would speak English and come back down to earth. LOL

[freckels77]

Oh man this is so FUNNY!!!

[StryperandJesus]

this was very funny

[greger1]

I once heard a new convert girl give her (almost said testimony, whew!) story and apologized for not knowing the "true Christian vernacular" and I was waving my hands (as if flagging-off) "NO, don't be like us! We're jaded. We LOVE your authenticity and humility." Others felt the same way. What an inspiration she was... and she didn't even know it.

[theTRUTHgroup]

I am truly 'blessed' by the 'gifts' that God has given you to 'share' with the 'lost heathen' of this world. (wink wink)

[doulos12]

Amen, brother.

[theheat151]

LOL!

[bob2779]

Well brethren, I must testify that the sanctimonious attitude of the heart of your thespian endeavors has vexed my very soul. Yay, I would say unto thee my brethren, wouldest the times and seasons of your manifold graces and abilities have been better spent in humble supplications unto the Lord for the temerity of the wanton excess of your use of the audio visual medium?

--graduate of the Christainese training program.

[StryperandJesus]

very good there...

[blaqrhayne]

:-D! Too funny!!!

[jayelle8]

this is so good. everyone should watch this. puts a light bulb on ppl's head.

[judahisraelmichael]

This is so ridiculously hilarious 'cause it's SOOOOO true. Good job BADD. I've watched this repeatedly, 'cause it reminds me of all the times you hear fellow believers saying things in a distinctly Christian way that is unnecessarily obtuse, vague and ephemeral.