(MMPC 07-06-2009) Bill Burr Doesn't Care for Carrie Underwood

[10Cnote]

Beyonce - Irreplaceable Fuckin Bitches the lot of em

[TXejas19]

you know agree with him for the most part but I will never agree with hitting a chick.

I am a woman and I have destroyed property and other extremely harsh thing, I did it because my grandmothers husband put his hands on me. I even tried to set him on fire while he was sleeping, so I definitely agree women can be phsychotic but if you're treating them right you have nothing to worry about. Think about it, guys are *generally* stronger, we have to be crazy, we can't all be defenseless

[BasicQuestions]

@TXejas19 Men should never hit women like you. They must burn witches like you alive at public. There are damn good reasons to why women must be controlled by certain measures otherwise they corrupt the shit out of society. Just look how Feminism has screwed you over so you now can only dream about a calm och trustworthy relationship let alone marriage! Now after several decades you are slowly waking up to the horrific reality. Well, it's late! The law and women are against you.

[TXejas19]

@BasicQuestions bro what the hell are you talking about? and who said i wanted to get married or "controlled"? and why do you think my reality is horriffic? and who said i like those butch ass feminist, they annoy me. Perhaps you should go back and read, I think you may have taken the wrong thing out of that statement, but blass your heart anyways.

[PeaceDisturber]

@TXejas19 Apparently you don't understand Bill at all. You're exactly the double standard expecting nut bag that he talks about in 99% of his shows. You're sane enough to realize that you're a fucking psycho, but that doesn't stop you from being a god damn psycho...

[TXejas19]

@PeaceDisturber nope, go back and read again. If and only if someones hurting or putting there hands on me than of course I'm gonna go after them (man or woman). If a guys not being abusive than he has nothing to worry about. I would never harm someone or their property for cheating kid

[PeaceDisturber]

@TXejas19 Here's what a normal person does if somebody hits them: They hit them back, they call the police, they seek help. Psychopath you: Burn the person alive. Kid.

[TXejas19]

@PeaceDisturber PLEASE, the police didn't help and it's not like he ignited. Men are usually stronger than girls (which is what I was at the time), so simply "hitting him back" would probably only result in my demise.

[PeaceDisturber]

@TXejas19 You HAVE to be a troll. If not, you are a full fledged psycho. If you read that back to yourself and didn't think 'WTF am I saying here?' You're fucking nuts lady.

[TXejas19]

@PeaceDisturber don't know what to tell you bro. men (not all of them) are pervs and abusive. I'd rather be crazy than defenseless

[PeaceDisturber]

@TXejas19 Well, I guess we're all just by-products of our environment then. Every guy friend I have is a decent dude, and has never done anything remotely abusive to their wife/gf etc. Neither has my dad or any other male figure I can think of-- maybe one random guy. Don't let your immediate environment shape your reality. I'd rather be rational than defenseless if I were you. If you're in a shit environment, change it. Don't act on it in a fucked up way that perpetuates it.

[TXejas19]

@PeaceDisturber notice i put in the disclaimer (not all of them) I know there are some good men out there, I've been married to a great one for three years now. As previously mentioned I was a girl when I did these things (not an adult) and as I have also mentioned already, if you aren't doing wrong than you have nothing to worry about. I do understand where you're comming from with "rational" thinking but not every situation leaves time for it.

[xNewAgeWarriorx]

@TXejas19 why would you burn someone who previously attacked you, that may be the dumbest thing I've ever heard. What stops him from just attacking you again?

[Cnupoc]

what do i think, Bill ? I think you should be president of USA.

[TheComedian150]

I'd pay to see bill burr burn a carrie underwood cd.

[Wings1979]

that song does fuckin suck. dead on with every point Bill

[AndrizzleCheck]

I liked this video. Except the fact something keeps popping everytime he speaks and it is fucking my eardrums. Fuckthis video

[passiveMenis]

This is a comedian's life

[PainAddict666]

At this point we're both acting like little bitches... me thinks

[therandomdot]

"That's the difference between a psycho and a funcitoning psycho. A psycho would haul off and punch a woman. A functioning psycho wouldn't, but would start to over-analyze how they would do it if they could."

[netskot]

come on, Bill, who gives a shit. 

[PainAddict666]

@netskot Are you fucking retarded? If he didn't give a shit he wouldn't be a comedian that entertains the fuck out of people.

[netskot]

@PainAddict666 no one gives a shit what carrie underwood sings about. believe me. he was beating a dead horse that no one knew even existed..

[PainAddict666]

@netskot Fine, you become a comedian and get a podcast then you can talk about anything you want, things people "give a shit about" okay? Otherwise just shut the fuck up.

[netskot]

@PainAddict666 wow are you ever a fucking woman.

[PainAddict666]

@netskot Fucking retard, YOU bitched like a cunt about what Bill's talking about, don't try to turn the table... like a woman.

[netskot]

@PainAddict666 lol, i didn't bitch. i voiced my annoyance (in under 7 words) of his incessant bitching about a song from a dumb bitch no one but him and you give a shit about. literally no one gives a shit what that dumb bitch says but him and you, but more so you because you're quick to jump to the defenses of his bitching by being a bigger bitch.

[TheMeeceKang]

"Change the sheets once every three weeks... MAYBE."

[DougMovementDisyple]

thumbs up if you think sexisn is similar to raceism its ok for a black guy to make racial comments and not be condidered a racist like useing the n word over and over and its ok were as a white guy would use it its raceist same with if a woman bitches about guys vandalising there stuff and hitting them there not sexist but have "the right to" but if ur a dude and do anything close to any of that u end up going to jail for a vi0olent crime and considered a woman beater

[spookymachine]

funny I heard that song Bill speaks of, and i fucken hate this song!! its so stupid....sigh...  this song makes me so ashamed to be a girl, my bf and I laugh at the song and chaged the station because it was so annoying.im sorry for all you guys with broken hearts...keep away from the dumn attention seeking whores. they only bring drama.

[pretorious700]

fuck Carrie Underwood

[codzomz]

5 women... that's fucking obvious

[YoTurnUpTheVolume100]

Right hook then an uppercut that's all I'm saying lol it was brutal but I just like any other man in America Hayes woman anthems with a passion

[piercedtattoo]

good call by bill my ex girlfriend loved this song and i broke up with her cuz she was a dumb cunt.

[Baxxter101]

AHHHH HAHAHAHA!!!  So fucking brutally true.

[danieldavidfarnham]

I honestly believe Bill Burr is the most honest comedian I have ever heard and can relate personally to everything he says and actually brings me happiness and makes me feel not alone in this fucked up world.

[2010balancingact]

@danieldavidfarnham Exactly. I feel the same way.

[ownagebutter]

@danieldavidfarnham exactly

[futurefeet]

This guy is seriously disturbed, bitter and hateful, and that's why I love him.

[Mmegadethjunkie]

@futurefeetno fuck you buddy he has his fuckin ears and eyes open, if you think what he's sayin is disturbed and bullsht you should kill yourself becuz you've failed at life, this guy tells it as it is, and hes surprisingly calm when i hear shtty song like that on the radio and on fuckin much music i want to fuckin kill these "musicians"

[futurefeet]

@Mmegadethjunkie I guess you didn't have the attention span to read all 14 words of what I wrote. Look again.

[max725power]

haha. nice pic

[IcyScythe]

is there any way to get the backlog of his podcasts? I just found out about him.

[wnlynch]

@IcyScythe If you subscribe to his podcast on iTunes it should let you download any podcast hes ever done.

[wordsme]

I think, the song is about what she's doing to him AFTER she broke up with him.

but the idea of ruining his life, is still wrong.

[eyehategumbo]

I was thinking the same thing the other day when this song came on the radio... what if a guy sang a song like that about destroying his gf's car....

[kaguth]

I was doing karaoke one time and right before I got up to sing an 80's new wave track (which I always do) some chick just finished singing that "before he cheats" song. So in the moment before they started playing my song I said to the bar " I don't really care for that song, why does it reward violent and destructive behavior? That's not very nice, right?" and holy shit did that spark a verbal shit storm of hate from a table of inebriated mini-skirt wearing skanks.

[bubasa87]

So fuckin true :D

[brosethstalin]

"cat suit, and a mask like im in that fucking dead presidents movie" hahaha

[cforcalvin]

"i'm on my period" excuse HAHAHAHAH thats the best because it's true.

[TCal3772]

"Women are out of their fucking minds." truer words if ever spoken

[popceed]

I hate that fucking song, and i'd love to see this happen in real life.

That bitch would be in JAIL...lol

[HolyCity2012]

Country music hits are a dime a dozen. There is a simple formula, Kinda like an episode of the Simpson's. It's obvious there is a lot of focus groups and marketing experts behind both. W/ country music, all you have to do is illustrate some real simple shit that real simple people can identify with. It's sad. It is this simplicity that has brought our United States to where it is today.

[semiLivedj]

playboy bunny tattooed on his chest.Hahaha

[CvijaFaQ]

I change my sheets when I notice shit stains.

[bigstabby]

The funny thing is this song was written by two GUYS (Chris Tompkins & Josh Kear). I really wonder where they keep their balls when they write those shit songs. I really don't understand how any guy can live with himself knowing he's going to be writing this "cunt anthem" for a cunt mega-star that's going to be broadcasted to cunts everywhere. It's like a Black guy writing a David Duke speech. What's worse is these two fags are probably living it up in Hollywood making millions because of it.

[pretorious700]

@bigstabby Corporate country music is total bullshit, formulaic. ball-less, and pathetic. Johnny Cash is roling over somewhere.

[bigstabby]

@pretorious700 Most definitely. Not that there aren't real musicians of all genres. But they're all stuck playing local gigs never to be signed because the most powerful, influential demographic in this country are all the retards, skanks, materialists, and self-centered egotists. It really pisses me off when some piece of shit "musician" who doesn't even write there own music says they were influenced by people like Johnny Cash and other greats just to compare themselves to greatness. FAKE

[savagegalt]

NO ONE

IS LISTENING

TO LYRICS

FOR THE MOST PART

[Ultra80s]

Dislikes: Feminist cunts. 

[hershysquirts187]

carrie underwood i'm sure has a smelly cunt.

[btannen777]

I would go with the uppercut.

[ericcann]

@btannen777 and follow through with an archie clap

[FilmForger]

Carrie Underwood is a clueless cunt - I met the caked on makeup idiot and she has no idea how to talk to people

[ShinRyojin]

@FilmForger How did that meeting go exactly?



[yaboysix]

lol a cat suit...i love how its different for men when we think about doin something bad.

[KasirRham]

I hate when recording artist make bullshit songs like that

[ColinFowler]

"showing her how to shoot a combo." hahahahahahhahhaha

[jonnyjagaloon]

too quote the great bill hicks. i've got a cunt and i'm drunk,i can do anything i want.....

[Superman5000The]

"Before He Cheats" is probably the most irrational "girl power" songs, ever, and the fact that all women love it unanimously makes me realize that they're more fucked in the head than I originally thought. "Right now, he's probably buying her some fruity little drink"...Maybe he's playing Halo with his boys and decided that your dumb, delusional psycho ass was annoying him and he ignored your calls. Oh, and the bitch leaves her name at the scene of the crime like a BLITHERING IDIOT!

[MrMagneticPelican]

i love the euphemisms starting at 7:28

[mrtundra45]

Women are out of their fuckin minds........

Very Very True, Mr. Burr

[powermasterjazz]

I hate that fuckin song...I was thinking the same things about it when I heard it

[zadkiel04]

Did he just really advocate givin a chic a "two-piece" and "hook off"? Thats fuckin hilarious!!!! LMAO!!!!

[ChicagoAcesman]

I'm surprised Bill never brought up the fact that she continuously uses the word "probably" in the song...

So, in actuality, she doesn't even know that he's cheating.

Or am I missing something?

Still great stuff, Bill. lol

[andyboy71093]

exactly

[BXNYhardstyle]

uppercut...so i break her teeth

[bildo1977]

"Before He Cheats" should be countered against with "Stranglehold."

[Elusareth]

I agree with him.

Although one nitpick. In the song, it seems pretty clear to me that she broke up with him. 'Maybe I'm saving a little trouble for the next girl' or whatever.

[hsriner1984]

lead hook, right cross....haymakers

[mdotferg]

"you should be able to her and give her a nice fucken two piece combination to the god damn fucken cabbage"

[jattboypunjabi]

cunt badasses ... lol

[Hammersley1967]

2 PUNCH COMBO?

ONE IN EACH TITTY AS HARD AS I FUCKIN' CAN!!!

[Hammersley1967]

Women...

RIP THEIR FUCKING TITS OFF AND SHOVE THEM UP THEIR FUCKING ARSES!!!

[randman21]

I happened to listen to this one tonight at work. So freaking funny. I had to hide my face the whole time so I didn't look like a grinning idiot. And I so agree about that damned song. It's horrible.

[goanfurslf]

Would you waste a jab ??

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Anyone who has had his balls broken surely wouldn't !!

[Dionysus187]

i'm thinking just two wild power right hooks. So messy and open for counter but she aint gonna do shit.

[DrDizzle1990]

my 2 punch would be a shin shoryuken up the uterus

[Torgo1969]

A 2 punch combo? I've always been impressed by Mike Tyson's classic right hook to the body followed by a right uppercut to the jaw.

[LMLR187]

@Torgo1969 i say a lead - hook with your jabbing hand followed by a hard straight hand right down the pipe.

(orthodox = left hook, straight right)

(southpaw = right hook, straight left)

[elhijodeloscalzones]

Hahahahahahahahaha!

[RCTPatriot75]

In college my friend and I came out after work and all 4 tires+ the spare on his jeep had been knifed, he said,"I'm gonna kill the bastard that did this", I told him that no man would do that, a guy would slash one then let you know he did it. I was right, it was a girl he had just broken up with. If women ruled the world there would be constant wars over the most trivial bullshit and they would justify the most horrific actions as emotional responses.

[jevicci]

Oh my god, this is the best podcast ever. Hahahahaha!!!

[jhohcable]

A fuckin two piece combination to the fuckin goddamn cabbage, ahahahaha.

[yellowcougar18]

His hatred of that song reminds me of my hatred for Beyonce's song 'Single Ladies'. "If you like her then ya should have put a ring on it". What? You idiot, Beyonce. Doesn't she know that Marriage, in its prehistoric form, is all about treating a woman like property. And does every woman really need a marriage ring to say she is worth something? Can she not just be her own person?

Its just dumb. Us guys don't need a ring as a status symbol, and marriage is a bigger deal than some ring.

[CoolerKing37]

@yellowcougar18 And strangely enough, Beyonce was with Jay-Z for over 6 years until the finally got married. So there isn't really much of a hurry anyway...

[keflar5]

SOOOO FUCKING TRUE. Had an argument with my girl last night and she threatened to put her head in the oven unless i go to a fucking wedding. Shes got a fucking electric oven too

[123bathinapes]

@keflar5 What happened? I sincerely hope you didn't go, lol.

[keflar5]

@123bathinapes not only did i go even though we had broken up but we are now going out again, she got drunk at the wedding and ran around with her shoes off telling everyone to fuck off, worst weekend ever

[123bathinapes]

@keflar5 aww man sorry to hear.

[Stolehome66]

@keflar5 This chick you are dating, is her pussy made of gold and taste like the sweetest nectar? Can she do something that no other woman can do? Why are you with this bitch?

[keflar5]

@Stolehome66 maybe i'm even worse than her lol

[lastunusedname]

the first time I heard this song without trying really hard to ignore it, my first thought was 'shes gonna feel stupid if it turns out he didn't do anything'. Its not just retarded, its paranoid. "I can't see him, he must be trying to fuck someone else, its the only possibility!" If he is, no wonder. Look at the insane bitch he lives with!

For doing that on groundless suspicion, uppercut her twat once for each slashed tire, slap her tits for the lights and for the key, she does anal. Forever!

[hisoj]

the song is even called "before he cheats"

he hasn't cheated yet but this insane country cunt is wrecking his property, he's probably just hanging out with his sister or his cancer ridden aunt she just wants a dance before dropping into her grave but no carrie underwood isn't going to bother getting all the facts

[TheSSJ07]

I started listening to the MMpodcast the week of this show and I've been hooked ever since. Bill isn't always on but when he is there is no one alive today like him.

[boothesquirrel]

dumb cunts

[gdude114]

tow piece combination...lol..lol...no doubt

[Roronoa2zoro]

Ehh... Stand-up isn't as good if the comedian isn't on a stage...

[EminemLove24]

<3Bill Burr & Doug Stanhope<3

[swiftomatik]

direct 2 shot combo to the face i guess.

[HearUsTalk]

Not only does she destroy the car, she writes her name at the scene of the crime. What a dope.

[yellowcougar18]

@HearUsTalk

Carrie Underwood should just abandon her vegetarian lifestyle and eat some meat (no jokes in the back, please. :) ) because vegetarians are crazy.

[weaverzc]

the worst part about this stupid ass song is she's doing all this shit on pure supposition-- he's PROBABLY got on $3 worth of that bathroom polo, he's PROBABLY got his middle finger halfway up her asshole... where's the fuckin proof? luckily the bitch was dumb enough to dig her name into the side and she'll end up paying damages and picking up trash on the highway

[kakashi76767]

makes me want to punch a chick in the face

[nquiringminds]

bill for president

[TrueJalik]

This is about how angry I get at the hypocrisy of it sometimes. He unfortunately let himself go off without much forethought due to boredom and loneliness, but for his own sake it's good he could feel like he was talking to people about it. In doing so you could tell he caught some of the weakness in his generalities after a few minutes. Original point was very poignant though, even if it was basted with a bit of cabin fever hatred :)

[xma5terx]

why don't you just break up with him...you dumb cunt

[RequiemForABuckeye]

I love how Bill gets mad at the listeners when he fucks up.

[doomsy]

@RequiemForABuckeye CUT ME SOME FUCKING SLACK ALRIGHT

[WhatDeFrock]

lol Hilarious!