Learn to Swim UK Public Information Film 1973

[lolpervs]

Yeah, well I shag like a minx.

[capnhands]

if you cant swim your a bloody bastard

[LinziScot]

Gosh - I remember this verbatim!!!! I reckon this goes to prove that kids under the age of 5 or so really are "sponges" - absorbing everything..

[LinziScot]

Gosh - I remember this verbatim!!!! I reckon this goes to prove that kids under the age of 5 or so really are "sponges" - absorbing everything..

[MrFishmonger1]

was it not Wendy Richards doing the girls voice over?????

[Matty112uk]

"I wish I didn't keep losing me birds" lol, typical 70's, wouldn't get away with that now!

[councilglasses]

Daves got a massive penis

[Artdecovampire]

Was that Reg Varney doing the Dave voice? Strangely enough I swim like a bloody dolphin on speed but I keep loosin' me birds despite that.

[rjconnolly64]

Why didn't she just wish Dave could swim?

[stylophobia]

Why not ask about wearing flares, at your local boutique ?

[burberrycap13]

ffs this u=is the biggest pile of wank ive ever viewed

[trimmytrab]

Meet Mike (he swims like a fish) unlike you, love, who smells like one considering the number of blokes you follow around.

[LOCOMOTIONNUMBER1]

That's not a skirt it's a long belt.

[Cool2BCeltic]

"I wish......I wish........ I wish I wouldn't keep on losing me birds"

[nyc999]

dozy cow, why didn't she wish he could swim?

[mokoufw]

So, learning how to swim results in getting laid by hot blond chicks with supernatural powers? Hot damn...

[Tunade5]

Could'nt he just have wished to swim??? DX

[stargirlh2o]

omg, my mum goes on about adverts like this all te time :)xxx

[xaxarulzx]

Why didn't she just wish that Dave could swim?

[kashka1962]

@xaxarulzx Ha Ha! that is a brilliant comment!

[TheSanaeKochiya]

@xaxarulzx He could wish for a large boat and get all the birds he wants.

[frankieboyo1969]

This is a shortened version.

[electrogeek77]

This was the same exact criteria I used back in my dating days. Forget compatability or common interests or even physical attraction...swimming ability made or broke my relationships.

[sirtinycreep]

@electrogeek77 Really? LOL.

[BREN70S]

@electrogeek77 duncan goodhew must have been quids in so with his big baldy head

[sakurabloom123]

Swimming Baths?????

[HCShannon]

@sakurabloom123 That's what indoor public pools are called in the UK!

[BuddyRamone]

the girls voice.....was she a member of the pigletts who sang johnny reggae ?...stab in the dark....

[sirtinycreep]

No, I think it's Carol Hawkins...

I could be wrong.

[sonicavenga]

@sirtinycreep Excellent guess though...she does sound like the one in Johnny Reggae now you mention it ;D)

Definitely Sandra from 'Please Sir' I think....

[sunnypatel66]

I remember this being shown on TV back in the early 70's, still remember it well though, maybe my memory is not going after all !!

[sirtinycreep]

@sunnypatel66 Still quality stuff, eh!

[chrisredditch]

I think Daves voice is Kenneth Cope

[sirtinycreep]

Nah...

[sirtinycreep]

Yet you could be right!

[Tedsville]

alright - geeza - nicely

[Skillsbuilder]

@fanackapan03 ..without his drag frock on of course!

[justinperry1]

interesting

[samiun2]

I'd still do Dave even if he cant swim and has a rather small package

[sirtinycreep]

@samiun2 Yeah, but Dave was 23 in 1973, making him 60 now.

[davey7601]

I may be wrong about the voices but -

Dave - Michael Caine

Mike - The bloke who played Arthur (Olives husband in "On the Buses") Or maybe the bloke who played George in "George and Mildred"

Girl - Wendy Richard

Fairy Godmother - Mollie Sugden

[sirtinycreep]

@davey7601 Not sure about the rest, but I'm confident Michael Caine's not there.

[UncleFeedle]

Nice hotpants.

[pastrychef1985]

What the hell does swimming have to do with keeping a relationship?!

[Lamnont]

I know how to swim, now I just need to get to england, where that is validation for how women think about you.

[muramasa89]

Also you need to go back 26 years.

[Ossadawn]

Imagine being able to dive like that. Jump in the air, remain suspended in the air for a few seconds and then down. It's a miracle, Sir.

[sirtinycreep]

Yeah!

[masterandmargharita]

Just not my scene man ...... What a dude, fuck swimming

[SupaDoopaVideos]

Learn to swim young man, learn to swim! ROFL!

[jonathanshardlow]

Norman Wisdom and Wendy Richards!

[100roberthenry]

typical bird....fucks off with a monkey...

[PultneyBabe]

A brilliant advert-can still remember it verbatim so I guess it was successful-learned to swim too!!!

[Spudfish93]

learn how to swim or else you girlfriend will leave you for a mophead

[biddiexpress]

when i heard mike say "allo" I just bursted out laughing! great advert

[laticsprem]

is the voice of Dave,ex Corrie and Randall and Hopkirk actor Kenneth Cope?

[Zed1967]

Len Fairclough from Coronation Street in the 1970s/80s could swim but still lost his ''birds'' due to the fact that most of them were in the paddling pool....... Allegedly.

[DeathByPlaneCrash]

so basically

'if you can't swim, you don't get dates.'

[peaceman1234567]

@DeathByPlaneCrash Thats the silly attitudes of the 70`s.

[kitmm]

God, I love this one! I quote from it often and extensively.

[Amandamoo73]

its just not my scene man!hahaha!and mike looks like a chimpanzee!

[sounbelievablykool]

what a bitch!!!! :O :O :O n by "it could save ur life" they clearly mean "it could save ur relationship"!!! :L

[steveasat2]

Sailor Moon was DIFFERENT back in the '70s.

[ChrisVanDam]

Lesson for the day: "If you can't swim - your girlfriend will leave you" !!

[CorporalCob]

The morale of this story is root out the people who can't swim and ostracize from society. =D

[spacejockeycyrano]

Aw wow, it's donkeys years since I've seen this! I remember it on telly, I was about 10. I actually remember all the words. "I wish - I wish I didn't keep losin' me birds!" Definitely not PC days, haha! What's really funny is that I DID learn to swim soon after but, at the tender bage of 10, the only bird I lost was when my pet budgie flew out of the window!

[spews1973]

Excellent comment, spacejockeycyrano! You gve me the best laugh I've had in weeks!

[Cheggerdoo]

Hopefully jaws will come along and sort them out

[kamtona]

If she loves Mike so much 0:38 why does she not marry him? INSTEAD OF JUDGING OTHER PEOPLE ON THEIR INABILTY TO SUCCESSFULLY SWIM! YOU FUCKING WHORE!

[pickleboy23]

typical dumb blonde

[MarcJboy]

Thanks for this, sirtinycreep, was looking for it on YouTube! well done! (Just like the Rolf Harris one by paulharris1967 "somehow I managed to scramble me way back to the bank, frightened the life out of me parents!" (the seventies, definitely rules!)

[patoneil]

Mikes got FA Cup ears

[MurderousFascist2008]

Poor old dave! He gets dumped cos he can`t swim, what a fucking bitch!

[confusedcalzum]

Keep In The Swim?

[IndyWinks]

i didn't want to learn to swim after watching the info film dark and lonely water!!!!!!!!!!!! I'll be back.... ack..... ack..ack

[GreatBarrWolf]

Dig the trunks !!!

[HeatProtection]

hahahaha that fairy :O

[posyflump]

ahh nostalgia - thanks for that :)

[sharpy2010]

Im sure thats Robin Askwith who says "I wish... I wish I didnt keep losing me birds"! Anyone confirm this?

[qpr60]

Good call - certainly sounds like him.

[sharpy2010]

I've checked IMDB, it doesnt list it on there tho!

[Prankster00]

Yeah Eric can swim like a fish - pity is he looks like one compared to Mike...

[UncleKennybobs]

ahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaa  Learn2swim and get loads of sex!

[heine71]

What are SWIMMING BATHS?

[bongate]

Another name for a swimming pool dear boy

[randidno]

"I wish I didn`t keep losing my bird", very funny!

Didn`t realise being able to swim, was a sure fire way of pulling birds; shall have to try it sometime.

[wilhub]

not a lot of people know this, but dave was actually gay, hence `just not my scene, ma`am` lofl!

[silkychief]

hello anyone out there I am a music afficianado i looking for a tv advert regarding littering.its not the advert so much,but the background music for this ad is jazz orientated.the advert as i recall shows 2 people in a car driving as they drive they are throwing litter out of the car, the music is awesome anyone know the ad can assist

[wolfiewifie]

Why is Mike wearing a lady's swimming costume. I love it, "Meet Mike," "Allo!"

[WhiskeyStoutAndRum]

I you can't swim, then why are you at the beach wearing swimming trunks.

[BlinEd1]

to show off his massive bulge lol

joking

[billaeatscookies]

Oh yeh, cos you get all the girls when you can swim

[tossbaguk]

YEAH!

[lepetamane]

lay off mike my names mike i swim and smell like a fish, also good at footy, daves just a knob, oh and i get all the birds

[mooocreations]

Surely he'd just wish for the ability to swim?

[kamtona]

IF ANYTHING i THINK A GOOD WISH WOULD BE "i HOPE SHE GROWS A PENIS... ON HER FACE. A LARGE ONE AT THAT"

[DaveNightingale]

So where's "Breast Stroke,Back Stroke,Butterfly and Crawl..." then?

Someone needs to get that uploaded!

[chrisz71]

I wish I could whistle like that!

Ok, is this an English accent or an Australian accent? I'd say Australian, but it's a UK PSA, right?

Plus, if the girl was real- she'd be incredibly hot!!

[anth200206]

It's a South-East England accent, or maybe London. Definitely not Australian.

[chrisz71]

Ah, thanks for the info. I guess I'll have to listen more closely to tell the differences.

[Guncriminal]

The London accent and Australian do have a slight similarity.

[bizaker01]

I wanted to learn to swim.. then I realized im black.

[numberstation]

Does anyone remember a public info film where a bloke climbs up an electricity pylon and shoots a bolt across to the next pylon in order to feed a cable across?Please,it's driving me mad!!!

[wolverine37x]

The "Play safe kites and planes" clip is on You Tube: the one where a kid gets electrocuted while flying his kite next to a pylon. Can't remember any other pylon related ones though.

[nategorga]

No, there's one where they throw a frisbee into a pylon and the boy climbs it and gets fried.

[Woollylinnet]

There's also the one about fishing near power lines - they were all originally part of the same film, which I have seen on here somewhere...

[DarkDrifterUK]

My dad's been going on about this for ages, cuz I'm called Mike, and he was laughing when I found this! XD

[ravenlek]

Sorry I mean Beckham's...

[ravenlek]

On holiday with the Bechams.... lol

[chrisz71]

I wish I didn't keep losing me birds? did I hear that right? Do they still call swimming pools over there Baths? I've never known it was called something different.

[Guncriminal]

Birds is slang for girls, in case you didn't know. Some people call swimming pools baths, some don't, it doesn't really matter.

[chrisz71]

gotcha. Thanks!

[Tom230192]

How come she floats in the area before jumping in lol!

[Guncriminal]

So let's get this right...she dumps him for some nerd with pinholes for eyes just because he can't swim? Bloody hell, and I though I'd been dumped for stupid reasons. I feel your pain, Dave.

[tyciol]

That is pretty cruel, you'd think love would be about more than being able to swim. I mean, if I loved a girl, like the one in this movie, I'd be all "hey why don't I teach you how to swim? Here's how you float on your back, tread water, and do the breast stroke. Don't worry it's just a name, you don't need them, I don't have any and I can do it."

[Guncriminal]

Amen.

[satonakis]

but mike also looks like a fish!!

[sirtinycreep]

Yeah. Brilliant, isn't it. :)

[MisterTrimble]

One of the all-time classic PIF's, with the girl's voice provided by the actress Carol Hawkins of "Please Sir!" and "The Fenn Street Gang" fame.

[derekmac61]

do you know who does Dave's voice? It sounds familiar, a bit like the conductor from On The Buses

[MisterTrimble]

The voice od Dave is definitely familiar, derekmac61, but at present I can't place it.

[MisterTrimble]

I belong to a TV-realted forum, and I've since asked about Dave's voice on there. A friend of mine of there is 99% certain it's the late Peter Hawkins, who also provides the closing voiceover. However, I'm absolutely certain about Carol Hawkins voicing the girl.